Across the Stars
by yume girl 91
Summary: With the death of Rey of Jakku, the last person in the galaxy anyone would expect to be the future of the Jedi finds herself thrust into the forefront of the eternal struggle between darkness and light. She must make the choice whether to save or destroy the man she loves. Canon compliant through TFA alternate TLJ ending, TROS canonical elements. Kylo/oc
1. Chapter 1

"TN-1063, you're up."

The pilot in question had removed her helmet in the hermetically sealed compartment of the Star Destroyer reserved for the TIEs. Her black and silver BB-9e rolled at her heels, bumping clumsily into the back of her legs when she stopped.

"I've had my turn, sir."

The co had the multicolored tab on his chest. In the black visor she glimpsed a reflection of her own face. She knew what he saw, the softened edges of a woman's face, the curve of a dark brow over a blue eye. The cap of black hair had been cut short in the back; longer slats framed her face, tickling her cheek during long flight exercises in the confining helmet.

"You did? When?"

"Just now. I switched with TN-2089. He took my shift and I just returned from his." The pilots were anonymous entities. On the hangar deck, no one knew any different except for her BB-9e who had almost rolled into the wrong cockpit.

"I cleared it with Commander Soren."

"I am aware. That's the…eighth time," the co's voice came through the helmet modulator polished like the Durasteel surrounding them. "Is there something you wish to do at this time of 08:35 hours? Hmm, TN-1063?"

"Blaster practice." She straightened her pose, her eyes lifting coolly to address the co. "I like to think I'm prepared for ejection into a potentially hostile environment."

Amusement shown through, "need I remind you, TN-1063, the high death rate of TIE pilots? They are the most expendable, highly trained death-dealing machines. They do not fear death; they embrace it in an explosive supernova of suicide. In my day, TIE pilots were considered suicide bombers."

"Yes, sir." She wasn't sure what he was getting at, but a general agreement usually sufficed.

"Now, carry on with whatever you were doing."

She saluted crisply, turning to brush past him.

"Oh and put your helmet on. Don't forget it's regulatory now."

…

"I'm…I'm going for blaster practice." She mumbled to the droid's query. She had missed minutes, wasted them answering her foolish co's questioning. TN-1063 picked up pace, turning down the clean insectile line of corridor at the end of which a blank featured wall was outfitted with a single large doorway into a vast echoing chamber.

She nearly ran to the panel, pausing only to catch her breath. Her heart was beating wildly; her hand trembled inputting the code. BB-9e rolled up beside her, beeping a quieter query.

"Blaster practice. Blaster practice." _Yeah, keep telling yourself that_. Impatiently, she waited for the door to unlock, stepping inside the long room lined with separate stalls for marksmanship practice. Rows of blasters hung in racks across from her. TN-1063 passed them without a glance, jogging across the length of the room to the separate door set against the wall. She ignored that one and went for the utility door for the cleanup droids.

The panel needed no access code. Wrapping her hand around the slot, she tugged it open smoothly and stepped into a brightly lit chamber. Multiple columns supported the slanted ceiling line and upper deck above. The room was warm, the atmosphere thick with aggression. She stepped behind one of the columns, hugging close to the metal pillar. The hum of a blade somewhere close by set her nerves on edge.

Kylo Ren stood in the very center of the chamber, performing complex moves in a whirling display of raw brutality and grace. TN-1063 peered out carefully, scowling suddenly. She wanted to see with her own eyes. Fidgeting with the helmet, she ducked out of sight, removing the confining thing. She nearly dropped it in the process.

Momentary fear gripped her. She hadn't known the emotion all the days she had strapped into the circular cockpit of the fighter. She had seen others blasted out of the sky, tangling with Resistance starfighters in violent dog fights that left twisted, burnt out wreckage behind. Nothing had scared her so much as being caught now.

She clutched the helmet to her chest, and peered out again. Ren had heard nothing. Not her exhaled breath, nor the sound of the door opening from BB-9e. She thought the droid would follow her to its shut down, obeying its programming until even the circuitry fried in a fight she couldn't win.

Through some unseen gesture, blaster droids exited from a vent in the far wall. Ren turned toward them; his masked face made of chrome lines and narrowed black sockets. Through it, she could hear his breathing, imagining his full parted lips. The damp strands of wavy black hair, the sharp eyes peering through the tinted visor.

Ren, the creature of instinct, darkness had an all too human face. TN-1063 watched him deflect blaster bolts into the ceiling, into the walls. The last droid learned from its fellows' demise. It evaded him, firing several times at his unprotected back. Once it scored a hit - she gasped - the fabric of his cape smoldered down to the skin. Ren hardly staggered, spinning around with his hand outstretched.

 _The Force…the mystical power binding the universe together._ She watched his hand close in a fisting motion, snatching the droid midair. The skeletal frame crumpled into an electrical discharge of burnt out sectors and wiring. He tossed it from him, sending the shattered remnants spilling across the floor.

BB-9e's head swiveled toward the broken droid then back to her. She ducked out of sight, bracing her back against the column. The length of Ren's strides crossed the room; the tapping sound of his boots drew near. _If he catches me_ …she slid around to the left side, her senses hyper alert. He passed by on the opposite side, missing the flicker of her movement.

"A droid?"

The voice modulator thickened his deep voice. She had heard it raised to the ferocious heights of anger to the passive sarcasm when interrogating Resistance scum. TN-1063 steeled her nerves for the BB unit's destruction.

But, he left it alone, dismissing his light saber. The familiar hum vanished into the silence of his retreating footsteps. She waited long minutes, counting them in her head until she was well and truly alone with the droid.

BB-9e rolled around the column, bumping her legs reminding her she needed to move.

"Blaster practice…? Not today."

The droid beeped in binary.

She reaffixed her helmet, "what…? My ID?"

…

"This is the first infraction of the rules."

The co had referred her to the bridge after the morning shift. TN-1063 composed herself on the long walk through the Star Destroyer. BB-9e accompanied her until the doors where the droid stayed behind the line of white troopers guarding the entrance.

"I'm sorry, sir."

"Spotless record." Hux cycled through her file on the datapad. Pulled from the thousands in the fleet, she saw her own medical stats approved by the co. She was the ideal height, the weight for perfect weightlessness in the TIE's linear design for optimum speed. "Tell me, is there any reason you switched shifts with another pilot?"

 _Don't let it happen again._

She had no real answer, so she stayed silent.

Kylo Ren was on the bridge to her left, standing behind the row of technical support, observing the passing meteor shower. She turned her head slightly to keep him in her line of sight.

"Come now, I've asked you a direct question. Surely your conditioning permits you to speak."

 _My conditioning…?_ She was glad the helmet hid her face. The tightening of her throat caused her voice to waver. "I wanted to request an afternoon shift. I perform best with Squad 102, sir."

"There is no time in space, TN-1063."

"There is on other planets."

"You're from…Chandrila?"

For an instant, she was back there inhaling the sharp clean air, glimpsing the reflective beauty of Lake Sah'ot.

"I am the oldest TIE pilot on the Finalizer." She kept her tone forcibly neutral. "I have survived _sixty-six_ missions. I can therefore judge the abilities of my squadron."

Hux's green eyes flickered over the mission roster list. "Sometimes you were the sole survivor. How do you do it?" He seemed almost bemused and not at all angry. "Luck or is it the mystical _Force_ the way Ren might say?"

The latter stirred, but said nothing.

"I don't know."

"Well, whatever it is will run out one day. Make sure you take the scum down with you, TN-1063."

"Yes, sir."

…

She walked with heaviness in her step. _Another face. Another pilot_. Someone nodded to her. She recognized it as TN-2089 from the stiffness in his walk.

 _66._

 _Beautiful Chandrila._

 _Twenty-six years old._

 _I haven't been back in all these years._

She turned and kept a moderate pace. BB-9e chirped beside her once the troopers had gone past.

"I know."

She could feel someone behind her. A flicker of energy pressing against her spine through the layered uniform and chest plate. _Electricity_. She stopped and turned, but no one paid attention to her. She was just another faceless pilot recognizable from her black suit and metallic helmet.

She had four hours before a rotating shift put her on tactical support. _I may as well rest_ , she thought, heading for the turbolift. She rode down with another officer, a stern-faced woman whose gaze remained straight ahead. BB-9e rolled with her, silently taking up post beside the door panel. She removed her outer life support vest, loosening the belt that cut into her waist when she lied down. Turning on her side, she fluffed the hard pillow with her fingers, closing her eyes slowly.

The droid beeped close by.

"I'm not asleep. I can't sleep."

She listened to the reply, turning over onto her back. "Everyone needs to sleep, excluding you. _Oh_ , I'm making a fool of myself…go for reconditioning?" A run through of the tests her younger self had been subjected to went through her head. "Yes, I suppose Captain Phasma might call me an error or something. _Scum_ if she's in a good mood."

 _I don't want to go._

 _I don't want to hear the condemnation of emotions._

"I can feel."

The droid rolled closer to the edge of the narrow bed. She stretched her fingertips out, brushing the black chrome head.

"I really am foolish, aren't I?"

…

In twenty-six years, she hadn't felt anything.

She must've cried as a child, or thrown tantrums. It was odd, very strange that she could remember little of her parents. Their faces, the looks of brazen adoration in the wake of the First Order's rise. They were staunch Imperials, former or otherwise who had lived in the aftermath of the fall.

 _Long live the Empire._

 _The Empire was dead._

 _Long may the First Order reign._

The words were a refrain she had heard so often it had become second nature to think them.

 _"You have a gift. Use it and become the sword of the Supreme Leader."_

 _He has an apprentice, his vengeance for the Empire's fall in the form of Ben Solo, prized for his blood._ The knowledge came as a blow to her psyche. _She wasn't good enough, of course. The parents who had given her up to the First Order knew nothing else._

 _What place do I have in all this?_

The answer had come painfully, slowly to TN-1063 watching a flight exercise of New Republic X-wings above Hanna City's airspace.

 _I won't use it again._

She went through flight simulators, through rigorous training until she coughed up blood. She was impressive, light, and fast on her feet. But, it was in the cockpit that she shone.

"This one might last two seasons."

On average, TIE pilots lasted through one battle.

 _One._

 _Two._

 _Three._

TN-1063 had the thing that had always been inside her.

"Sixty six missions later." She had escorted commanders, rulers of planets in convoys of black-suited pilots. She had flown over barren terrain, flushing out Resistance scum with a barrage of her plasma cannons. She had survived through it all with the blank deadness inside her masking the emotions of a normal human woman.

"Then, I saw _him_."

She didn't know how long he had been a part of the Finalizer. The resurgent class Destroyer had become her new berth after time spent on the Tarkin honing her piloting skills.

 _I didn't want to become a leader._

Commander Duma called them _pups_ until they saw action. Onboard the Tarkin, she had seen missions with high success rates.

 _"Not enough ambition, TN-1063."_

Merits, perfect record, everything had gone in her favor.

 _"One thing, never get in the way of the Supreme Leader's apprentice."_

Unstable.

Violent.

Deadly.

An animal to most.

She had docked her fighter in the main hangar once, glimpsing a robed figure striding across the deck. The few pilots and troopers who carried on their duties, parted for him with subservient displays.

 _Master of the Knights of Ren._

Darth Vader _reborn_ , whispered some. Ren had become the living visage of the galaxy's nightmare. She wasn't afraid of him. How could she be? TIEs were the space superiority fighters, he was reconnaissance and interrogation. They moved in different circles.

He sparred one hour that passed for morning in the timeless conception of space with one of his knights.

"It was an accident."

 _She shouldn't have been there._

The squadron had experienced devastating losses, seven blown out of the skies over a bunker said to harbor fugitives. TN-1063 had pulled out of the fight with one wing smoking. She had been with the squadron one aby. She had laughed, told jokes, mildly complained about the cafeteria's nutritional supplements with them. One female and six males. They were as close as a team as could be among the hundreds of crew accompaniment.

They were _her_ team.

 _All gone_.

She hadn't been able to return to her berth after the debriefing on the bridge.

"I can't…,"

It was the closest to tears she had come. She had wanted to run to the hangar and jump into the cockpit of her fighter - _find them - she would find them - and destroy_ …TN-1063 had felt the thing inside her shift, darkening with the violence of her feelings.

 _I needed something, anything to hold onto._

"They were sparring." Her memory had always been good. Kylo Ren and one of his knights. _I had never seen anything like it before in my life. Nothing of the bulky armor, the pulse of rifles could compare to the deadly grace on the floor._

Until the moment when he had removed his helmet, she had thought of him as something less than human. More machine than man. TN-1063 could understand droids, protocol droids, astromech units. Ren had seemed an enforcer, something beyond her understanding until she had seen his face.

He had removed it in the presence of the knight, a Zabrak with the reddish skin and horns evocative of their race. Ren's human face by contrast, was pale, oval in shape. His brows were thin above expressive hazel eyes. Dark hair lay damp with sweat, framing the sides of his face. He was young yet, perhaps close to her age. He was nothing of what she expected behind the mask.

"He fascinated me."

She had never seen someone with a face so open, his every emotion was plain to see. _Annoyance. Anger. Hatred. Pleasure. Happiness._ The last was something she imagined.

"I learned he always sparred at the same hour unless away on mission."

They all knew it hence the emptiness of the chamber at that certain time.

"He was often alone. Rarely joined by his knights."

Ren never took his helmet off again _. I saw him with it enough, but I never forgot his face._

"It was easier to imagine his expressions, his biting sarcasm when speaking to General Hux."

 _Somehow. Some way, I had found what I was looking for. My feelings had evolved into what I shouldn't feel into what I wanted to make him feel._

"The only thing I want is for him to notice me."

The droid listened to her; the droid was the only one who would.

…

09:50

There was no time in space.

She went through the motions of flight, restrained in outward vocalization. She had been chastised once. Once was enough. BB-9e noticed her silence, observing her with a tilt to its head. The motion was one of curiosity, something the other BB-9e droids never exhibited around their biological counterparts.

TN-1063 noticed the absence of the TIE Silencer and a lessening of the troopers loitering around the hangar. They were off on mission, she assumed depressed. She had no way of knowing the exact purpose of the mission - to question would be to expose her interest in Ren's life.

 _He had a life, didn't he?_ _Wasn't there something beyond the servitude to the Supreme Leader that made him different than the bland, personality-less officers around them?_ TN-1063 considered the word _apprentice_ …he was Snoke's apprentice, but in what?

Upon his return days later, she glimpsed him tear through a room of electrical equipment in thwarted fury. The crimson cross-guarded light saber thrashed through the console, the keypads and monitors. Incendiary sparks flew, scattering across the floor. The vivid glow painted his ragged flowing cape and hooded masked face into something from a half-forgotten nightmare.

TN-1063 motioned for silence to the droid; a pair of Stormtroopers who were marching down the hallway, abruptly turned and went the opposite way, hearing Ren's feral shrieks of anger.

He stopped, shoulders heaving.

"What are _you_ staring at?"

BB-9e rotated behind her quickly, peering out between her legs. TN-1063 straightened arms precisely at her sides. "Are you alright, sir?" Of course she had heard about Ren's tantrums. His destructive tendencies unleashed in the corridors of the Finalizer. Commander Duma had mentioned them to her previously.

"Mind your own business, trooper. You know what I can do."

 _I don't -actually._ She could surmise destruction from the blade in his hand. "I am an elite pilot, sir, not merely a Stormtrooper."

"A false front of bravery. How long until it cracks?" He sounded almost amused - the _almost_ gave her hope. She was not brave. She could almost amuse him. She was foolish. TIE pilots had no need of courage. They accepted their deaths as a stroke of ill fate.

In her head, she imagined the different things she could've said to detain him, the outcomes possible through a simple difference in words. Instead, she stood precisely in military formation, her words remaining stubbornly on her tongue when he walked past her.

They were all afraid of him.

General Hux hated him; everyone knew about the unspoken antipathy between the commanders of the First Order.

She thought all those things and more, removing her left glove. The room was a mess, metal cloven through, gutted wires, circuits spilling out. BB-9e beeped that it could've been a droid or someone living. The droid didn't know fear, but it knew the possibilities of non-existence. TN-1063 touched the console, her sensitive fingertips smarting from the touch of hot metal.

She hadn't used the thing inside her for a year since transferring to the Finalizer. There was no real need, no actual threat she needed to use more than her skills for.

In an instant, she was in a room interrogating a frightened old woman.

 _Lor San Tekka. Where is he?_

The name was a memory, stirring the chaotic rage inside the soul of the knight.

 _A map of stars - incomplete - she could see Ren's face, his true face, bathed in the glow of binary star systems._

A map to Luke Skywalker.

That was his mission, his obsession. Frustration fueled his actions. The shadow of Ren ignited the saber and began destroying the room for everything it represented - _his hatred of Hux, his chains_ -

The memory ended.

Stormtroopers marched past.

TN-1063 stared down at her hand surprised. She felt she knew him that little bit more.

…

"A cat? Where?"

On the way back to her quarters, she was alerted by BB-9e's beep. Glancing around, she finally spotted the marmalade colored animal slinking out of the lounge. Surprised, she immediately gave chase. "No way…there's no way a cat could be aboard the Finalizer!"

The furry thing reappeared; ginger tail lifting in a curious twitch. She noticed the gaberwool collar attached around the cat's thick neck, proving the animal belonged to someone, likely one of the officers. "Hello there," she dropped to a crouch, setting her helmet down on the floor. "Kitty-kitty, here, kitty-kitty…," BB-9e remained behind her, the blue photoreceptor eyeing the cat who stalked forward, tentatively sniffing her gloved hand.

The cat seemed to find her pleasant for the furry head lowered, butting her fingers. TN-1063 scratched behind her ears, the thick gloves kept the sensation of the cat's fur dulled to her fingertips. Deciding to risk censure in case they were seen, she scooped up the cat in her arms.

"I wish I had a cat." As she spoke, footsteps echoed up the corridor.

Lieutenant Mitaka looked right to and left and spotted her. "Sir! I found the cat-she's uh…," he seemed a little taken aback seeing her face and uniform. Likely he had forgotten there was something else beneath the helmet of a pilot or Stormtrooper. "She's um…with one of the TIE pilots." Behind the flustered man, the general appeared looking quite annoyed.

TN-1063's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "I didn't know you had a cat, sir."

"Yes, well, she ordinarily stays above floors." Hux stepped closer, eyeing the cat who was currently purring contentedly in the woman's arms.

She scratched the cat's furry head eliciting a rapturous purr. "What's her name?"

"Millicent. She seems to have taken a liking to you." The general frowned thoughtfully. "She barely tolerates the officers on the bridge."

"I can imagine. She's such a beautiful color. I've always liked red." TN-1063 felt herself smiling. On Chandrila, she had seen others with pets, cats and dogs who responded to affection. She didn't think many of the officers were at all friendly with Millicent.

"She's uh- _ginger_ colored."

"Oh, well, here you go." An awkward exchange ensued with the cat struggling to stay in the pilot's arms. Hux ignored the layer of ginger fur clinging to his great coat, wrapping a firm arm around the cat to restrain her.

"Thank you, TN-1063. But, why were you up? Your squadron isn't due for flight in hours."

"I couldn't sleep." She bent quickly to retrieve her helmet. "I'm sorry, sir. I should have my-"

"At ease." Hux almost smiled, glancing over her flight suit. She had left off the heavy life support system over the curve of body armor and rounded pauldrons emblazoned with the black star of the First Order. "Just don't make it a habit."

"Yes, sir." She inclined her head respectfully. "Oh and goodnight to you and Millicent."

…

"It's nice that the general has a cat. He seems so fastidious with personal appearance and he didn't seem to mind the cat hair on his uniform." TN-1063 removed her body armor in the privacy of her quarters, loosening the collar of the under shirt. "I like that about him, its sweet." BB-9e beeped from beside the bed, plugged into the charging outlet.

"I know, I can't see Ren with a pet cat either. That would just be wrong." She chuckled to herself, curling up within the blankets. Within no time at all, she had subsided into sleep, dreaming of star charts and distant solar systems.

…

09:56

She had breakfasted lightly, having a choice between a protein drink and a protein bar. The squadron performed their maneuvers, patrolling the skies above a snow-covered world. The people of the planet wore heavy furs and strange goggles on their faces. They were small and dark, pausing to stare up at the sky at the sound of the TIE squadron flying low overhead.

 _We're showing off_ , she thought, seeing little purpose to their practicable cannon fire. They destroyed one remote settlement, devastating the domed houses on the low crystalline plain. TN-1063 watched the tiny figures stream out, shaking their fists at the fighters.

"Another volley." Her comm unit crackled to life.

She glanced at it sharply.

"On me."

 _One._

 _Two._

 _Three._ The fighters spread out in a wide circle, the spinning fuselage emitted a stream of green plasma. TN-1063's hands relaxed around the trigger, she felt physically sick.

Something moved from the resulting cloud of white.

 _A child._

 _What passed for one on another planet._

She had a clear shot.

"TN-1063, it's all yours."

 _I don't feel like an elite pilot._

 _I feel like a murderer._

…

The TIE docked in its row, suspended above and below others. They were the same in shape, wing size, artillery. TN-1063 moved mechanically through the cockpit, leaving everything the way she had found it. BB-9e chirped to remind her not to forget it.

She went through the motions, signing out of the system. She had six hours until the next mission. A few hours to rest or consume nutrients. TN-1063 walked past the squadron, her gaze straight ahead. It had been easier to think and feel automatically, nothing. They believed in a better world, in militaristic glory. She felt none of it walking through the Finalizer, inhaling the stench of smoke and fuel that permeated the corridors.

BB-9e seemed to sense something amiss with her, beeping none of its usual commentary on the officers they passed. TN-1063 went straight to her room. In the center of the room, she removed her helmet, setting it down at her feet. The rasp of air tubes once removed filled her with silence. She pressed her palm to her damp brow; her hair was mussy, slick with sweat. She had been drenched in a cold sweat since the unknown planet they had left behind.

"How can they do it?"

The droid sat at her feet, looking up at her.

"The Stormtroopers?"

She had killed before in air strikes, targeting rebel bases or supposed hideouts. _But, nothing so purposeless, so lacking in meaning._

"What is the point of all this?"

She gestured suddenly, hands spread to the room. "This Star Destroyer, the First Order - what is my purpose?"

BB-9e had no answers for her.

No one did.

After a long moment of catching her breath from her outburst, she picked her helmet up off the floor. The droid looked toward the door, head swiveling back toward her.

"No…not blaster practice. I have something else in mind."

The hall was emptied as she had expected it would be at that hour, meetings, rotating guard and meal time for those coming off duty kept the training hall silent. One gleaming protocol droid shuffled around carrying a datapad of recent scores. TN-1063 ignored it, walking over to the rack of stun batons carried by ground troopers.

"I was remembering something yesterday. I had seen moves like that once. Long ago…someone…," she stood in the center of the room, holding it out in front of her. BB-9e rolled to the left, watching her curiously. "Someone was showing them to me." It was more than that… _they were broadcasting their memories into my head._

She crossed the baton in a guarding gesture.

 _Someone was showing me a room where others sparred; someone was watching…a man who wore a long cape fastened over a life support suit His mask had the face of an insectoid, he breathed deeply, harshly in the room filled with the sound of humming blades. I had never felt such malevolence from a single person before. It was like looking into the abyss, the cold was all around you - and somehow you couldn't look away from it_.

She closed her eyes visualizing Lake Sah'ot. Her inner self took a running jump into the lake, knowing the lake was depthless in her mind. The cold waters closed over her, sealing over the light from above.

"It was like I was sparring in front of him."

I was one of them - _and not_ at the same time.

She began moving as she never before, conscious of her body, her limbs and the extension of the baton as part of her. She stepped into complex slashing motions, retreating to a loose guard then springing into a matchless display of ferocity and skill. TN-1063 spun around on her heels, performing her dance of blades.

On the point of her turn - she became aware of another presence. The imposing visage of Lord Vader faded into the walls of an obsidian fortress. Someone was there just beyond her sight, clad in ebony robes of whispering silk. TN-1063 completed the elegant pivot of her body to challenge the new foe, but there was something different, something wholly familiar about it.

 _The figure drew back its hood, smiling razor thin. It was her face in every detail save for the eyes._

"My eyes…,"

 _They were a deep golden hue; they were the eyes of a Sith Lord._

Startled, she retreated from her mindscape. TN-1063 opened her eyes. She remembered it all in a flash. The memories she had suppressed beneath her conditioning surfaced with a vengeance. She lowered the baton; BB-9e beeped to get her attention.

"Wha-!"

She went flying across the floor. Winded, she pushed herself up, confused. "What….what's…," he stood there at the fringes of her vision. Tension thickened between them.

BB-9e rolled between them, chirping a stream of explanations in binary. Ren extended his hand, levitating the droid off the floor.

 _No. Please. Please_. She could think of a dozen words. None of them adequate. "Please!" Her single word ended on a scream. The hand of the _Force_ ripped the droid's head from its body. BB-9e's chirping ended on a mechanical scream. He tossed it aside with a gesture, a flick of his fingertips. TN-1063 scrambled around on her knees, lunging for the cylindrical head. The droid's eye had gone dark in an attempt to save its system by powering down. TN-1063 hauled it to her chest.

"Are you Hux's spy?"

She stared at him uncomprehending the venom behind the question. "No, I…," the truth was wrapped up in her confusion. TN-1063 felt an invisible force take hold of her body. She became rigid as a board, folded down into a kneeling position. Only her vocal chords remained free.

"I'm not! Please…please…let me go!"

 _I've never begged in my life._

 _What_ _ **is**_ _he? Why is he doing this…?_

"I sense your confusion." The growl was deceptively soft. "I know you've been following me."

"Liar." She choked out. "I dropped my ID card in here and you-" through the enhanced visor, she watched him extend his hand. Fingerpads scraped the side of her bulky helmet, the gesture was almost gentle.

"I'm…not afraid of you." TN-1063 said, closing her eyes.

She imagined the depths of the lake reflecting the sky of Chandrila. A lake could be many things, hidden depths, serve as a reflection. TN-1063 was gradually aware that she was no longer alone by the lake. There was another presence in her mind, causing physical pain.

It took all of her will and more not to cry out in agony.

"You're very good at shielding your emotions, desires…or is there nothing inside your head?" Ren's voice echoed all around her, coming from nowhere all at once.

"Nothing. Nothing…please."

"I could kill you."

The hum of the saber vibrated the serene air. Molten heat filled the vacuum of the wind. She felt it burn into her shoulder, smelting through the heat-reflective fabric, branding her.

"You won't-I've done nothing wrong. Not even you can get away with murder."

He released her none so gently. The back of TN-1063's helmet struck the floor. Dazed, she lay back, staring up at the ceiling struts.

 _Consider it a warning_.

"Never come near me again."

…

The droid beeped a coherent grumble that made her lift her eyes to it. She was going on patrol through the western reaches with a squad of seven.

"I'm sorry."

The droid bumped into her legs affectionately; one of the pilots glanced at it.

"Is it protocol to carry an astromech into the cockpit, TN-1063?"

"It _was_ on the Tarkin." She replied guarded.

The one who spoke wore the color coding of leader. He was tall, broad chested, unusually so for a pilot. "The Tarkin is from the days of the Empire, is it not?"

"Yes."

"Nothing at all like the Finalizer."

"No, I suppose not." She said peaceably, visualizing the Chandrilan lake with its calm, beautiful water and felt some of the peace quiet her emotions.

The arrogant mindsets of the other pilots had not often disturbed her. They were newer recruits; polished like the floor they stood on, but ultimately useless against a competent Resistance pilot. She had seen so many of the other TIEs blown up due to glaring tactical errors, assuming superiority over the battered fleet of X-wings.

The Resistance pilots were every bit as skilled as the fleet of black suited pilots standing around the Destroyer. Despite the fact that they were trying to blow one another up in a dogfight, they were equals, she allowed them that much. A slight smile curled her lips beneath the helmet.

The call for departure signaled the end of the conversation. Once in the cockpit, she adjusted the belts restraining her into the couch of crash webbing. BB-9e beeped from behind, strapped into the back of her seat.

"I gave up leaving you behind a long time ago." TN-1063 commented, chuckling. Reaching out, she flicked the comm on, connecting her to the rest of the squadron.

"101st squadron, look alive. We're joined on patrol by Lord Ren." The voice of the leader crackled through the speaker. TN-1063 stilled her vision unobstructed through the crimson stained cockpit window out into the deck. Across from their position, 13c held the TIE/vn Silencer with its sharp black lines and pincer-like wings.

"It's an honor, sir-"

She cut the transmission.

BB-9e chirped a question.

"Of course I'm going to be alright. I'm not that nervous. Other than I'll probably come off looking like a fool." She powered up her fighter, feet slipping into the pedals. TN-1063 angled her craft for a lagging pace, leaving the hangar last behind the squadron.

Dropping from the underbelly of the Finalizer, they flew in a loose v-formation with Ren's Silencer at the head. She could see the dip of the craft as he veered off toward the asteroid belt identifiable from her monitor as the Ainides Cluster.

"What is he doing?"

BB-9e leaned out of its straps, its photoreceptor eye fixating on the view through the cockpit window, beeping an opinion.

"He's going to watch."

A green light lit up on her dash indicating proximity alert. They had triggered something they couldn't see.

"It's a tactical maneuver." She recognized the simulation from the training days. "I'm surprised they'd go so far." She broke off from the main flying formation, scattering widely beneath the arc of light. The brief illumination allowed her to see the clipping of the fourth TIE, spiraling swiftly out of control.

"Right….don't get cocky."

"TN-2030, down!"

She gritted her teeth, rising with the thrumming pulse from the boosters. The TIE responded quickly, angling over the next volley. One of the six left wasn't so quick to evade. The tail end of the explosion buffeted her fighter. She heard a scream before the comm cut off. Brief illumination from an explosion to her left signaled 2036's demise.

TN-1063 scowled. "We're being picked off." Checking her speed with a quick look to the side monitor, she upped the power to the turbines, spiraling straight then shot up, angling above the jet stream of plasma. Priming her auto weaponry, she muttered, "I see it!" The weapons array system formed a loose net of cannon fire. Old tricks from the Empire days, meant to protect bases in volatile sectors.

 _Should I raise them on comm?_

 _No._

Targeting at random, she swiped the fighter from left to right, letting loose a hail of green blaster fire. Feeling the jolt in her body, she pushed up and outward out of reach of the resulting ring of explosions.

"Good instincts, TN-1063." Praised the squad leader patching into her fighter.

Her own breathing rasped loudly in her hearing. She felt sweat stand out on her brow, causing the heat reflective fabric to stick clammily to her skin.

From the corner of her eye, she glimpsed the tail of a dome-shaped body zoom across the empty expanse of stars.

"Heat seeking missiles…that's new tech!"

The droid issued a few blips that sounded like curses. "I know! It's locked onto us!?" She punched it, flying in a zig-zagging pattern. "I can't shake it!" She flew sharply past the TIE Silencer, her glimpse a second of anxiety _. If I can't shake it_ …she exhaled loudly, her mind went blank. TN-1063 relived her life in a brutal moment of self -realization.

 _Without me, his world will go on turning._

 _I'm nothing to them, but something to use and discard once it breaks._

 _In the cockpit of this machine, with him watching and all those on the Finalizer watching us explode. I…I don't know how long I can keep doing this._ Through the red tiled window, she glimpsed two more TIEs explode upon collision. Their screams ripped through her mind; TN-1063 jolted in the crash webbing. BB-9e blipped her numerical designation loudly in binary, trying to get her attention.

"I…sorry…I know what to do."

The missile tracked heat signatures. _It must've had some kind of native tracker that locked onto a target with the exact size and perhaps shape_ …she decided to test that theory by flying straight for the Finalizer. The missile arced past her cockpit window, its course altering mid-flight.

The TIE's engines whistled as it broke the speed gauge, tracing the outline of the Destroyer. TN-1063 rotated the fighter upside down, veering along the sharp edge of the battlecruiser upward, thundering past the massive viewport windows. At the last, she swerved with the TIE's notoriously ill-equipped handling into a curve facing the Destroyer in open space. The glow of the missile sparked from the corner of her target sight.

Her hands clenched reflexively, remembering all the times of her target sight lighting up, the moment when her skill came to the fore.

She fired once, then dropped into a nose dive evading a second missile from behind.

The resulting explosion sent shockwaves of heat outward, burning brighter than the light of a star. TN-1063 pulled out of her dive, shooting for the underbelly of the Finalizer. "Requesting permission to dock." She spoke to the interior flight tower.

"Permission granted."

She nodded, signing off.

 _This is the might of the First Order, where our lives are treated as amusement._

…

Commander Soren was waiting for her below the control tower. "General Hux requests your presence on the bridge."

She felt sweaty in her flight suit, emotionally exhausted from the exercise. "I'll go there directly."

Soren nodded, adding as she walked away. "That was good flying out there."

"Thank you, sir." She wanted to dearly point out it was either _do or die_. She took the turbolift with an accompaniment of officers up to the bridge. The lift opened up into a corridor lined with smaller offices, widening into the T-shaped walkway. An assortment of officers worked in the pits flanking the walkway, monitoring different sets of equipment. The vast viewport window overlooked their current position, offering an impressive vantage point of the limitless galaxy.

TN-1063's gaze snapped to the view of the stars. She had been on the bridge of the Finalizer before and the Tarkin whose design ran less into a black color scheme and more into silver.

"Ren seems to think our TIE pilots aren't up to snuff." The general detached from the main console, strolling across the walkway, his hands clasped behind his back. "Hence the reason for his little diversion. Thankfully, playtime's over and two of your fellow pilots have returned."

"I'm glad to hear it. Were those heat-seeking missiles?"

"Yes, that was new technology we're testing out for combat."

 _Testing it on your own people?_

"No one else flew the way you did." He faintly grimaced. "They had to work together out there. Any idea why?" He gestured affably. "Remove your helmet. I want to see your face."

"They didn't adapt well to the unpredictability of combat." As she spoke, she found the button that depressed the filtered air supply. That was unheard of among TIE ranks. They never teamed up, never protected one another. Each pilot was for themselves in the fight, knowing that at any moment, their actions could lead to placing themselves in an enemy's target sight.

"Most enlightening. You were trained for combat on the Tarkin?"

"Yes, sir."

"Did Commander Duma have his pilots perform flight exercises similar to today?"

"No, sir. He…wouldn't have acted so rash." She almost flinched at her choice of words. They could've been construed as criticism. "He understood that his pilots weren't expendable assets." _He had treated them almost humanely, although he could be merciless on law breakers._

TN-1063 glanced up and met Hux's gaze directly. The general smiled thinly as if amused by something only he knew. There was something in his mind; she could see the outlines of the image taking form of …herself in the form-fitting uniform of an officer. She saw herself as he imagined, reporting to him, subservient in all ways. TN-1063 retreated from his mind quickly.

"Where did you get that droid?"

He was making conversation, detaining her for information a datapad could've held.

"Commander Duma gave it to me after the battle of Hosnian Prime. My fighter had sustained damage and I was forced into a crash land on a neighboring planet." She paused to gather her thoughts in order. The general's gaze lingered on her mouth. "The droid was part of a survey mission who had been taken down by rebel scum. I would say the droid saved my life." BB-9e had found her amidst the featureless rock and sand, transmitting to the Tarkin using her personal code. The Star Destroyer had sent a transport for the droid who had kept a viable record of its pilot's last days - and for her. TN-1063 had assumed as a loose end to be tied up after the failure to subjugate Republic forces.

Commander Gaius Duma, a veteran of the disastrous battle of Jakku, was a grizzled, gruff older man whose loyalty to military precision couldn't be denied. He was one of the few Star Destroyer commanders who hadn't taken his TIE fleet lightly. He remembered the days of the clone trooper pilots, the cadets from the academy fresh-faced youths who died in blazes of glory against the enemies of the Empire.

Once the data the droid carried was expunged, he presented it to her. No one had ever given her something that belonged only to her. Her uniform, her TIE fighter, her quarters and few hygienic essentials belonged to the First Order, but BB-9e didn't.

"Why did you transfer to the Finalizer?"

"I…it was the Commander's suggestion. He believed I could serve the First Order better on the frontlines."

"I can see why with your flying marks." Hux's look had gone beyond feigned warmth into something predatory. "We'll be returning to Starkiller Base, I've put in a recommendation that you receive a transfer into the planetary defense squadron."

"Thank you, sir-" It was on the tip of her tongue to refuse.

"Once we arrive, you'll report to Captain Salonga."

"Yes, sir." She tried to affix a look of polite acceptance on her face. She wanted to refuse. She had never visited the site of Project Starkiller before nor had an interest in performing planetary defense maneuvers.

"Keep doing well, TN-1063. There is always room for advancement in the First Order."

"Sir." She saluted quickly, replacing her helmet on. BB-9e rolled after her when she left the bridge. The droid was silent until they were some distance away, then began a stream of whistles. They passed a cluster of officers returning from the cafeteria. TN-1063 waited until they were gone before replying.

"I could tell too." She listened to the droid's chirp in response. "Don't I want to be an officer…? Why? What's the fun in space flight from the bridge?" The droid beeped something vaguely suggestive.

"I would see him more, but also the general. It would be too distracting." She smirked at her frivolous thoughts. They were some she had never entertained. Becoming an officer on the bridge, her face exposed, her hair tucked beneath the black winged cap.

TN-1063 had never considered her body outside of the bulky flight suit. Nor the attractiveness of her face. Those things were impossible to understand given her limited knowledge on male and female relations. She could admit she was strongly attracted to Ren, although her low level clearance didn't allow her to access personal files; she knew very little about him and couldn't think of a way to get to know him in any capacity.

"I thought Captain Phasma was with the general too."

The droid cheekily replied a stream in binary.

"Hey, watch your language. The captain would use you for blaster practice if she knew you called her that." The droid kept up with her quick pace, nearly colliding into a pair of Stormtroopers patrolling the corridor.

"Blaster practice? No, think I'll rest before the next shift." The droid blipped in reply. TN-1063 scowled behind the helmet. "Hey, it's not my fault the general didn't let me shower before debriefing-I'm not stinky!"

…

They were making their final approach into the airspace of Starkiller Base. TN-1063 shifted the straps of her rucksack from hand to hand. She had assembled along with a contingent of troops Captain Phasma personally led. They were given their own separate shuttle that had left the Finalizer beside several other smaller transports containing officers Hux wished to keep close by.

BB-9e was strapped into a rack of light equipment toward the back end of the shuttle. The droid's head rotated from side to side unable to see much beyond the white helmet of the four Stormtroopers closest. Captain Phasma had taken a seat in the cockpit, giving last minute instructions to flight control.

When she had gone for loading, the troop leader had challenged her reassignment.

"The only TIE pilot to leave the Finalizer."

"Yes, Captain."

"What is so special about you, TN-1063, that the other forty-eight pilots don't have?"

She had parted her lips several times to speak; glad her wordlessness was hidden by the bulky helmet. Phasma stood on the ramp, her blaster propped up against her lowered arm. The chromium armor reflected the black uniform, the snaking air tubes connecting to the filtration system. "I am a survivor, Captain. Nothing more, nothing less." _Five days with no food and a little water from desert fauna. The planet had nearly killed her_. _She had gotten BB-9e out of it and a nightmare._

She drew strength from the memory, enough so that she stepped onto the ramp and brushed past the motionless troop leader. Now as they descended into the white snow-covered world, she felt the slight change in the air. The transport was heated to comfortable levels…or was it something only she felt?

The tension lingered when they docked and began unloading. TN-1063 collected her droid, pausing only to change the filter lens on the visor in order to absorb the monochromatic spectrum of the huge base. Black lied at odds with the stark whiteness of the snow, the cold necessitated the use of snowtroopers whose all-terrain training made them adaptable to the harshness of the ice world. Starkiller was immense, a monster of technologic advancement.

She knew no one, none of the officers by face or reputation passing her by. She recognized none of the troopers who one would think weren't different unless one noticed the tiniest differences in vocal patterns, walk, the way they held their blasters. TN-1063 started moving aware she was drawing attention to herself, gawking like some alien tourist on Canto Bight.

She nearly got lost in the multiple intersecting corridors before she found Captain Tarek Salonga. Salonga wore the uniform of officer emblazoned with a pair of wings surrounding the multi colored tab of rank. He had straw blond hair and watery blue eyes that peered twice at the reassignment beside her name.

"Transferring from the Finalizer?"

"Yes, sir. I was formerly of the Tarkin before the Finalizer. I've seen action in multiple star systems until now."

"Well, your record's good." Salonga checked his datapad. "I see you were involved in the Battle of Hosnian Prime. My brother, Dak, was the leader of the squadron."

"Ah…I'm sorry for your loss, sir."

"Don't be. He was a right fool in taking twenty-four TIE fighters against Republic forces. His actions that day cost him the Tarkin's fleet and gave the senate cause for funding the Resistance." Salonga swiped bitterly across his datapad, changing the view. "Fortunately, I'm going to see his foolishness corrected. There's going to be grand speech made by General Hux later on. Attendance is mandatory, TN-1063. After that, you're up for flight maneuvers." His thin lips didn't come close to a smile when she saluted him. "Welcome to Starkiller Base."

…

TN-1063 showered under real water. Her black hair clung to her scalp; the longer strands framing her face clung to her cheek. She washed with a sliver of sharp smelling soap taken from a rebel camp. She had touched the scar on her shoulder curiously, the wound was the width of a blade, the edges puckered, the center a thin red line of burned tissue.

Ren had rested the lit blade against her shoulder for a few seconds. The menace was unmistakable.

When she had touched the wound she had felt envy had caused it. He had walked in and seen her - watched her perform those movements with the baton in place of a light saber- the very same thing he had taken years to master, Form II Makashi.

 _Who trained her?_ The words, the astonishment had echoed in his thoughts. _This thing that is nothing, not even a Force sensitive._

"I am a thing to him." She pushed her sodden bangs out of her eyes. "Not even a woman or a pilot or a trooper. But, a nonentity." Saying the words embittered her. TN-1063 clenched her fists for a few minutes trying to get her breathing under control. She couldn't have explained the memories, the linking of minds. It wasn't a Force Bond, but rather the reading of consciousness.

She turned the water off, toweling herself briskly. The scar hurt when she brushed her fingertips over it. _I am not a thing…I am a pilot. I've survived longer than anyone else on the squadron._ She dressed in the light black heat reflective clothing, donning the full chest plate and breathing apparatus. The helmet was last after fluffing out her short hair. BB-9e had been polishing itself with a jar of machine wax.

"Looks good." She said to the droid as they fell in step beside the stream of pilots. The Stormtroopers had fallen into formation as the black-suited pilots formed loose boxy squares below an elevated platform. The crimson banner of the First Order hung behind the podium. General Hux and Captain Phasma were present with a line of officers. She sensed the tension in the air, something momentous was about to occur.

"Today is the end of the Republic! The end of a regime that acquiesces to disorder! At this very moment in a system far from here, the New Republic lies to the galaxy while secretly supporting the treachery of the loathsome Resistance!" His voice echoed all around them, broadcast into the frigid winter air. She watched the Stormtroopers raise a salute in unison to the man. Those around her followed suit and she hesitantly matched them, disturbed in mind. _This …this was the man who spoke almost kindly to her? The same man who had a ginger cat…,_

"This fierce machine which you have built, upon which we stand will bring an end to the Senate, to their cherished fleet! All remaining systems will bow to the First Order! And will remember this as the last day of the Republic!"

 _This whole planet…is a weapon._

The ground rumbled beneath their boots. The light of the distant star siphoned off into a brilliant golden haze charged up the cannon embedded within the planet's core.

She had a flash of the Hosnian system. The pitched battle fought over the skies, the collisions, the explosions shattering across her cockpit window tainted red. Captain Salonga stared up at the sky, not at Hux, but on some distant far thing.

Vengeance.

The red beam spliced through the sky gilding everything in an unholy violent glow. TN-1063 caught her breath, the moment suspended in her consciousness. She could feel its power; the brightness of it hurt her eyes through the UV filtered lens. She flowed with the beam as it traveled across space, minutes, seven, the time it takes for light to travel across the universe - the planet of Hosnian Prime - she was there for a second of breathless horror, amid the spires of a city, standing beside senators who knew in a single gut wrenching moment that their lives, their homes, their planet was ending.

The Hosnian System exploded.

The bright light that washed the galaxy, the light of souls became a gaping wound in the _Force_. The resulting echo of their screams ripped through her body and she staggered slightly, nearly falling sideways. BB-9e bumped into her right leg, she leaned slightly against the droid, her lungs sucking in air through the filtration unit.

Hux's moment was over.

The Republic was dead.

…

She couldn't stop trembling.

"It was glorious," Salonga said, "simply breathtaking." The captain couldn't stop smiling. The sight was rare on any officer of the First Order, on Salonga's face, it was merely disconcerting.

 _It was murder._

 _War breeds nothing but cruelty, loss…this was not peace, nor could such a war ever bring about peace._ TN-1063 had a cold layer of sweat beneath her confining uniform. The only thing she wanted to do was take another shower, let the water wash down her body, ridding it of the phantom stench of grease and oil - she felt unclean, her soul filthy with horror.

"Captain Salonga, may I request another shift? I-I'm not feeling well."

"Too much excitement, eh?"

She could easily see he was in a good mood.

"Y-Yes."

"I'll…hmm…ordinarily, I would say your tough luck, but," he swiped through the mission roster. "Ah…looks like someone has put in a request for you. Someone with high clearance; I can't change it." He looked up with a shrug. "Report to dock B1. They're moving out soon."

…

"Of course, I'm not alright."

She had gone to the 'fresher closest to dock B1, to splash water on her face. The coldness did little to raise her spirits. The droid sat at her feet, tilting its head at her, beeping suggestions.

"I don't want to go." She almost smiled. "Just don't vomit in the helmet or in the fighter, right. I'll try not to." She fanned her face quickly, then patted her skin dry. Her wrist comm started flashing. "There it goes, they're looking for me."

 _I'll be alright._ She rolled her stiff shoulders, reaffixing her helmet. Switching the lens to the specifications favored for space flight, she headed out to join the squadron. As she climbed into the cockpit of her fighter, she noticed the lift off of several troop transports.

 _Ground forces…? What is this?_

Once she had strapped in BB-9e, she dropped into her seat and switched on the comm unit. "Omega four to Squad Leader. This is more than flight maneuvers. What's going on out there?"

"TN-1063, the parameters of the mission are on a need to know basis."

"Just trying to understand the situation. No one wants to go in blind, sir." She looked straight ahead to where the lambda-class shuttle lifted up from its docking. "I have a bad feeling about this." She switched the comm back on. It was rare for the space superiority fighters to have hyperdrives like hers did.

As one, the fighters lifted off into defensive formation.

"Set a course for the Tashtor system, our destination is Takodana."

…

 _I don't like this._

The blue-green marbleized world of Takodana emerged into their view. TN-1063 felt the change in atmosphere when they made their approach swooping over lush green hills, low-lying mountains and serene blue waters. The squad leader identified their target as a castle of stone nestled against a beautiful backdrop as their target. The TIEs loosened a volley of green plasma; she fired along with the rest. Unable to hear the screams of those trapped within the wreckage, she performed the next fly over, surveying the damage grimly.

The troop transports had begun their landing procedures, blasters drawn as they began rounding up those who had survived. These would be shot on sight or relocated for further questioning then sent to a prison camp. She soon lost interest on the planet's surface; Ren's shuttle had joined them below, beginning the search.

TN-1063 resumed patrolling the skies. She had been told as much as they were going to let on, although she had her suspicions. "The droid," she commented, "the one that held the map. Maybe it was seen here."

BB-9e beeped in response.

"Yeah, I bet you'd like to meet it too. Oh-" she glanced to her field screen. "Several fighters incoming - guess I wasn't so far off the mark." She positively identified them as Resistance T-70 X-wings. Within moments, the fight had begun in earnest. Red and green spliced the sky, taking down several of the TIEs, while further bombardment took out the ground forces below.

She took evasive action, dropping below the blur of proton torpedoes. Her stomach did flip-flops as she pulled hard to level off above the forest. As she cleared the tree line, her eyes flickered below to movement in the emerging form of troopers surrounding Ren. Instead of the droid she had expected, she saw a girl - at least she believed it was a girl. The form was slim, clad in light-colored garments. Ren was carrying her out of the forest to his waiting shuttle.

The droid started beeping shrilly, rotating out of the straps securing it to her seat.

"I know! I know!" She had an X-wing on her tail. "I-kriff!" Light lit at the corner of her screen arcing for her fragile wing system. Swerving for open ground, she plummeted down, narrowly brushing the forest floor. Pushing the thrusters hard, she shot up for the sky, firing away. The moment her target sight lit up, she was gratified to see the X-wing explode. She soared up and out of range of the rest, doggedly tailed by one that broke away from the main pack.

 _He thinks he has everything_ …, she thought, evading fire from the black and orange X-wing. The comm unit crackled near her.

"Disengage! Let the rebels think they've won."

TN-1063 shifted her flight path, following the ascending arc of the TIEs. Ren's shuttle had already breached the upper atmosphere, preparing for the jump to light speed. For a moment, she replayed the image of the girl lying in his arms.

That's strange…why did I think it was something meant to be?

BB-9e punctured her thought process, chirping.

"The rebels…? Yes, it is frustrating. They're right there…they'll be heading back to their base?" She listened to the droid's suggestion. "The base…one fighter could track them and then….yes! You're absolutely right!" She switched channels quickly, piloting steadily out of alignment. "Requesting permission to delay return, Commander."

"Return to Starkiller, TN-1063. That is an order."

 _Knew it._

"Sorry, the much bigger prize is right here."

She punched in the coordinates for the neighboring system. "Hold on." Outside the cockpit window, the darkness of space became a stream of stars.

"Okay, so the plan is to jump through several star systems then return…," the droid beeped in concern. She smiled beneath the helmet. "Yeah…that's a warrant for arrest. But, it's going to be worth it."

…

Time passed differently in space than on the ship. TN-1063 sat back in her seat, shifting her feet from the pedals. She had inserted a holodisk into BB-9e's visual recorder in order to capture the moment. With the fighter anchored to a low-lying asteroid within the belt near the star, she could easily wait it out in stasis mode.

 _I saw him_ …she felt almost sleepy after the initial rush of adrenaline was over. Taxing the suit's absorbent qualities, she felt sweat clinging to her skin, her brow felt damp beneath the confining helmet, the rasp of her breathing apparatus filled the silence.

"He was there for the map and he took her instead. Why? Is the map all that important and why her?"

The droid beeped quietly.

"Skywalker? My mother used to tell me stories about him. _He lived in the light_ … _She said he left and no one knew where he went._ I never understood the light and why it was so important. People's actions dwell mostly in the grey, in between good and evil, why rigidly contain someone with something so nebulous as light or dark?"

She listened to the droid's reply, smiling faintly. "Hey, I take offense at that! I didn't get us killed - I _almost_ got us killed. There's a difference being that we're still here." She caught the glimpse of movement from the scanner, sitting up straighter.

"There they are."

…

 _At least I knew what to expect_ , she thought humorlessly, docking in hangar B1. A contingent of Stormtroopers was waiting below to escort her to the brig.

TN-1063 waited until Phasma had stepped closer before she spoke. "I have an urgent message for General Hux."

One of the troopers paused in securing BB-9e.

"Speak it and I'll relay it to him if it is of importance."

"No, I think not." She let them disarm her. "Take me to him."

…

The vast viewport windows overlooked the breathtaking snowy landscape. Heavy cloud cover obscured the light of the system's star. The general was overseeing preparations of some kind when they arrived. TN-1063 stood with her wrists in handcuffs flanked by two troopers.

"I was aware of one pilot not returning with the squadron. Phasma, what is this?"

"The deserter, sir."

"If I was deserting," she sent a pointed look to the troop leader. "I wouldn't have come back."

"What _were_ you doing?" Hux motioned for Phasma to stay silent.

"I tracked the Rebels to the Ileenium system. Their base is on D'qar." She said in a rush, holding the general's gaze. Then, she dropped her head respectfully. "Lord Ren believed he had everything with a girl. I knew you would find the location of the Rebel's Base far more important." _Was that too much emphasis on the girl? Was I too obvious?_

"This is unprecedented news indeed." Hux said after a moment. "We'll send out a small squadron to confirm then move to crush them."

"That isn't necessary, sir. My droid has seen what I saw." At her words, BB-9e ejected a tiny holodisk from a hidden compartment. Hux took it, a smile stretching his thin mouth. "I'll apprise the Supreme Leader at once." Hux started to turn away, and then hesitated, returning to her. "That was an unusually bold move, TN-1063. But, well done." He depressed the hidden mechanism on the cuffs, removing them.

"Your future is clear with the First Order." He held her hands a second longer than necessary. "I can see it."

Her eyes flickered to his, demurely dropping them after a long moment. "Thank you, sir."

…

BB-9e rolled after her quick pace through the sprawling corridors of Starkiller. She had been dismissed from two shifts for her report. She could sense the excitement in the air. Something was going to happen or had already taken place. She passed a pair of Stormtroopers walking the opposite way. She caught the tail end of their conversation, surprised.

"They're prepping the weapon?"

The droid responded, head swiveling from side to side.

"What they used on the Republic…," _they're now going to use it on the Rebels_. TN-1063 couldn't finish her own sentence. She had just signed the death warrant for the Resistance. _They…they deserved it for destroying her squad mates - for defying the First Order. But, they were people too_. _There were faces and names in the X-wing cockpits, living breathing people who she had consigned to an immediate devastating end_. Unable to compartmentalize her feelings, she soon gave up.

 _The only thing I want to do is take a shower and rest_. _They should've known better than to challenge the First Order_. With that thought in mind, she returned to the quarters assigned to her. BB-9e kept up a steady stream of droidtalk as she laid out light thermal clothing. "Did I come off as jealous to you?"

The droid didn't utter a negative.

"Hey! You're supposed to be on my side! I…didn't want to think of that girl's terror. Ren is surely interrogating her now as we speak. I couldn't help myself." She undid the straps of her chest plate. "I really am a terrible person. I can't stand the thought of him touching her -" _looking at her_. TN-1063 felt something twist inside her, eliciting pain. "I'm jealous of nothing and I can't stop feeling this way."

TN-1063 turned the water on hotter than she normally used, as if to wash away the stain in her soul. That was the thing with planetary defense. _Real water showers_ , sonic was available if she chose to go down a level. Hux was good for something and she felt almost mercenary thinking of the small things she could get from him.

When she came out toweling her short hair, BB-9e had plugged itself into the wall, operating on stasis mode. She smiled faintly, lightly patting the droid's head in passing. Leaving the towel in a heap on the nightstand, she crawled into the bunk set against the wall, her eyes closing to the darkness. Within the cradle of the blanket she pressed to her chest, TN-1063 shuddered away from the distant echo of imagined screams.

If she dreamed, her visions were nightmares.

…

It was the klaxon that awoke her.

The blaring call for all pilots to report to their fighters resounded in her head. TN-1063 struggled up, rubbing her bloodshot eyes. BB-9e had already disengaged itself from the charger, rolling forward until it bumped her legs.

"Wha-what's going on?" Even as remote as the place where the barracks were, she could still feel the vibration of aircraft flying at a low altitude thundering through the super structure. The droid responded to her confusion. TN-1063 pushed herself out of the bunk, fiddling for the wall switch. Light flooded the small room; she blinked in the blinding illumination, trying to find her outer armor. BB-9e rolled to the door, beeping concernedly.

"Whatever it is, it can't be good." She muttered, stuffing her boots on. Running her hand through her hair, she tried to center herself. Panicking wouldn't help the situation. She tried a few deep breaths before fastening her helmet and switching the breathing apparatus on. The last thing she hesitated on was the officer's blaster that had belonged to BB-9e's former master.

She had carried it wrapped in the set of light sleep wear packed carefully along with her hygienic kit. TN-1063 considered the sidearm carefully then strapped it to her hip. "Come on…,"

She ran for the hangar, joining a stream of similar-suited TIE pilots.

"What's going on?" She asked TN-2056, passing abreast with the stocky male.

"The rebels are attacking the base! We've been ordered to take them down."

"Have they fired on D'qar yet?"

"I wouldn't know."

The rebels….they had showed up after the assault on Takodana. TN-1063 glimpsed the anxious faces of the officers they passed, the whirling servos of similar red-eyed BB-9e droids. Stormtroopers were searching for the girl apparently. _Who was that girl? They were here for her…weren't they? Just who or what was she?_

It was a relief to climb into the TIE's cockpit. Once she was inside, she could distance herself from the questioning part of her mind. With BB-9e strapped in behind her, she briefly touched the butt of the blaster more for luck than anything else.

As one, the unit of fighters flew into the skies above Starkiller Base. TN-1063 counted a handful of Resistance fighters clashing against the first wave of TIEs. She glimpsed scattered, smoldering wreckage dotting the snow, allowing the old familiar emotions to rise within her.

 _Hatred._

 _Disgust._

 _Couldn't they see how futile it was to challenge the First Order?_

Her targeting sight lit up.

TN-1063 fired a barrage of plasma from her cannons. She darted to and fro, evading the mass casualties of the remaining pilots. Few exploded midair, brightening the cold haze with the light of a supernova. She flew through it leading the charge through the upper atmosphere. The X-wings had seemed to be waiting for something, targeting a specific part of the base…, _why?_

Unless…but it was impossible. They had flown into Starkiller with the intent of disabling or blowing up the primary weaponry system. She noticed smoke arising from the deep trench cut into the ground that led into the oscillator. As suicidal as their plan was, she had to give them bravado for that spark of hope.

Explosions lit up the ground below. Taken aback, she dove beneath the squad leader, taking her gaze off the target. Something else was happening down there - as if on cue, the X-wings returned flying for the furrow cut into the planet's surface.

"All fighters on me!" She hit the comm button, shouting. "Take them down! I repeat, take them down now!" Two of the fighters angled after her, thundering into the channel. Cannons rotating, torpedoes flew in an exchange of green and red hail. TN-1063 felt the blow down to her soul glimpsing the third sustain heavy damage. The X-wings were willing to gamble everything. It was too little, too late. The one in the lead - a familiar black and orange X-wing - the one from Takodana, was the one who fired into the oscillator.

TN-1063 pulled up and out, her gasp rasping loudly through the breathing tube.

The base lit up below her.

In her shock, she missed the final shot slamming into her left wing.

She felt her craft shudder, dipping down dangerously low. _I've been hit_ \- the cockpit's lights went red, multiple screens went black. In her head it was a replay of crash-landing on the planet where she had found BB-9e.

TN-1063 veered off toward the trees, the cockpit shuddering as she made contact with their tops. The droid beeped shrilly, frightened. "I'm going to eject!" She kept her hand wrapped around the control shaft, frantically punching the buttons with her free hand for manual ejection. "If we hit the snow - there's a chance…," _We'll get blown up along with the rest of the planet._

She closed her eyes, reaching deep inside herself. Within the light, she projected a sphere of energy. The sudden whoosh of the seat ejecting from the cockpit almost broke her concentration. TN-1063 felt them go airborne, clearing the falling fighter. Their descent slowed as gravity sucked them down to the snowy plain. Somewhere not far, her TIE exploded into a hailstorm of red tile and titanium alloy plating. TN-1063 lost consciousness as they collided into the ground. For seconds, maybe moments she knew nothing.

Then, BB-9e beeped, a tensile arm prodded her side and she opened andher eyes. The visor had a crack splitting her vision. The air tubes were shattered, oxygen noisily escaped in a sibilant hiss. She struggled upright, tearing out of the restraints that had secured her body to the crash webbing. Removing her helmet, she blinked at the fast falling darkness. Beyond the trees to her left smoke arose from crackling flame. Somewhere far beyond them, the roar of the planet killer lay in its final throes.

"We have to get out of here…," she made quick work of the straps from her seat, fashioning a harness for the droid. Hefting the astromech onto her back, she reached for the blaster at her hip, removing the safety. "Keep a look out. If you see something, tell me."

The droid beeped an affirmative. She started walking, her steps unsteady. She felt slow, aware of the impossibility of making it off the planet. Briefly the thought came to her of leaving the droid. The moment she entered the forest, walking in a southwesterly direction, she knew the droid would be unable to follow given the unevenness of the terrain.

 _How can I even think of it?_

 _Even if I survive…I was part of planetary defense._ The TIEs failed to protect the base, that's tantamount to failure. The droid was the only thing that belonged to her, not even her uniform was hers. She wanted to laugh, but as she drew in air to her lungs, the coldness made her gasp, eliciting a coughing fit. TN-1063 dropped to one knee, her back bent beneath her burden. She covered her mouth with one hand, blinking past the sudden onslaught of tears.

Somewhere, she heard the sound of an ion engine displacing snow drifts. The droid began beeping excitedly, drawing her attention to the familiar shape of the Lambda-class shuttle descending not far through a gap in the trees. TN-1063 scrambled to her feet, falling into a ragged run. Clearing a thick belt of undergrowth, she glimpsed the jagged split in the ground exposing the fiery molten core. A pair of white troopers flanked a man as he surveyed the scene in disgust.

It was the general.

"Hux! General Hux!" She replaced her blaster on her hip, putting her hands in the air. The troopers tensed, raising their own blasters at her but caution prevailed seeing her pilot uniform. He turned at the sound of her unfiltered voice, surprise alighting in his green eyes.

"You're…TN-1063."

She stepped onto the ramp, unthinkingly reaching out for him. "Sir! I'm glad you survived - I didn't think anyone else…,"

"Where's your-"

She quickly released him, dropping her gaze in respect. "My TIE was shot down. I ejected not far from here."

"Well, come on then! No time to lose, the whole thing is going to blow up." He motioned impatiently; she followed him into the small compartment. The troopers followed, depressing the ramp lift. The last of the frozen air of the planet sealed away with a hiss as the shuttle lifted off smoothly from the planet's surface. Hux walked past the other occupant, who sat wrapped in his own silence, continuing into the cockpit. TN-1063 stopped moving, frozen by the sight of the man.

"Kylo." A whisper of relief.

Suddenly embarrassed by her informal lack of address, she dropped into the last seat, slowly sliding the straps off of BB-9e. The droid's head swiveled on its magnetic casters, observing Ren, then moved to stare at her in meaning.

TN-1063 felt her heart rate increase, rapidly beating beneath the metal chest plate. She tried to train her eyes on anything else, but found them lifting to him. It was impossible for her to want to look at anything else when he was there. Sometime, somewhere he had taken off his helmet, exposing his face. Ren's dark hair lay damp with melted snowflakes, sweat mingled with the horrific slice across the right side of his face, bisecting his cheek and upper brow, narrowly missing his eye. He caught her stare, glaring with the heat of a star.

"What're _you_ staring at?"

"You need medical attention." TN-1063 said calmer than she felt. She got to her feet, hardly a thought in her head. The droid motioned with a slight nod to the wall beside the rack of blasters. Beyond them, a standard medical kit mounted to the wall. TN-1063 went to it, ignoring the glance of the troopers. Let them think what they liked. She ran her fingers along the edge, finding the lock mechanism. The lid popped open displaying the usual assortment of NU-skin, bandages, sterilizer and antibiotic ointment. The last she pulled out was a pair of plastic gloves.

Ren watched her approach without a word.

"Don't-"

She sat down beside him, perching at the hard edge of the seat. "You're bleeding…," she could see the stain through his dark clothing, the frayed edges where the wound to his abdomen began. TN-1063 removed her elbow-length gloves, snapping on the pair of flimsy plastic. "We'll be onboard the Finalizer soon, I'm sure. But, until then you shouldn't let yourself go."

"You know nothing about me."

She hesitated before putting her hands on him.

"No, I don't."

She swabbed the area carefully, loosening some of the charred bits of fabric from the wound. Knowing she couldn't do much, she finished cleaning the area.

"Your efforts are wasted, TN-1063. Ren is incapable of understanding human kindness." Hux stepped back into the cockpit, knowing his voice carried. "He is little better than an animal - and that's an insult to Millicent. Just let the medical droids take care of him."

Her glance flickered upward; Ren had accepted the insult with the slightest clenching of the fist he rested against his thigh.

"I don't …believe that."

"Do you think your opinions are worth something?"

She restrained her flinch, remembering her training. The emotionality warned against in holovids designed to create perfect First Order soldiers.

He had that look in his eyes, the one he had when he had broken BB-9e and she had screamed. "Ah, yes… _you do_. You think I'll be grateful to you for the little you can do. You think you mean something because you're here now and not dying with all the rest."

"I don't." She said tightly. "I…," her throat felt thick. It was ridiculous to feel the urge to cry. She wasn't going to give him the pleasure of seeing how much he was hurting her. "I think you're the one who wants someone to notice them. Inside…," her voice had dropped to a whisper. "You're that boy whose mother hasn't seen him in years, whose father doesn't understand him." She pressed the edges of the facial wound with a packet of gauze staining the cloth crimson. "You're so lonely... you want the darkness to hold you."

Ren's hand curled around the hilt of the saber attached to his belt. He ignited it with a vicious thrust, boiling waves of heat poured from it; sparks flew from the unstable blade spattering her shoulder and chest. Any closer and the blade would've bit into her neck, killing her epidermis, boiling her cells the way the light saber had done to his face.

"Get away from me."

Hux stepped into sight, his hand twitching toward his holstered blaster. "What's going on?!" Ren switched off the saber, the beam disappeared between them. "First, I have to rescue you from your own mess - next you're assaulting my pilot?!"

"Shut up." Ren breathed; silencing the general.

TN-1063's hand closed over the bloodied gauze. She rose silently and walked past him into the cockpit. Hux glared and kept closely behind her. TN-1063 leaned against the wall unseeing of the blurred stars. Millicent meowed from a wire cage strapped into one of the empty seats.

"I want a full report on Starkiller Base's defenses. After you've turned it in, I want you to resume normal flight duty - after resting."

"Yes, sir."

…

In the hangar of the Finalizer, white armored troopers stood in orderly formation for Hux's return. Ren was first off the shuttle receiving a few nods of respect. He swept by them wordlessly. Hux and the retinue of troopers along with the pilot and copilot of the shuttle stepped down the ramp. TN-1063 was last with BB-9e at her heels.

Without another look back, she broke away from the group and went her own way through the ranks of Stormtroopers.

"Why?" She answered the droid's query. "Because, he was looking at me. He has noticed me now. The one thing he doesn't understand is how I knew those things."

 _I saw them, the same way I saw his own blows to his abdomen. I saw him draw blood that stained the snow crimson. I saw him invade the girl's mind and watched her fight back_ -

She finished her report and sent it off. Her old quarters had been given to another pilot. She had been reassigned a berth closer to the turbolift. TN-1063 could hear the metallic hum as it rose between floors in the distance.

"He killed his father on Starkiller Base." BB-9e slotted itself in between the control panel and the bed. "I couldn't hear his words, but I could feel his emotions. He is a monster." TN-1063 absently rubbed the edge of the bandage compressing the wound to her brow. The med droids could've had her as good as new in a few hours, but she had left quickly not wanting him to find her there.

The droid plugged itself into the charging outlet, beeping as it did so. TN-1063 smiled faintly, she leaned back, curling her body into the nest of blankets. "Sounds like a fairytale, doesn't it? The dark prince and the princess…I'm no princess." She yawned, drawing the blankets around her. "When I was a little girl, I used to dream that I was a princess whose parents would rescue her."

She draped one arm above her head, staring up at the ceiling struts. "I wanted them to come and take me away from the Tarkin. I used to pretend I had different parents who were heroes of the Rebel Alliance…they would come looking for me…they would've been looking all that time. They would search the unknown regions and find me among the remnants of the Empire's fleet. They would take me away from there and I would live in a real house by the lake. They would love me and hold me and no one would ever beat me for crying again." She lapsed into silence listening to the droid's murmur of binary.

"What happened? Well, I kept believing and hoping until one day when I realized it was all a fantasy I had built up to cope with conditioning."

 _No one was saving me._

 _No one cared enough to save me._

She subsided soon into a fitful slumber, her dreams a mixture of black and silver corridors and a little girl who called for her mother, running through them.

…

The Finalizer had been joined by several other Star Destroyers along the way through hyperspace. Talk buzzed in the mess as to their predicted destination. TN-1063 felt them leave light speed, tensing for the call to arms.

"They're saying we're not to see action," said one of the younger pilots. She had heard he was nineteen, light on his feet, considered for promotion to the Snowtrooper ranks.

"So it's not a fair fight."

"After Starkiller, I would expect the Supreme Leader to wish to make an example of them."

 _Wasn't the Hosnian System enough? Millions were obliterated in an instant of chaotic destruction_. Sickened with the excitement on the faces of her mess mates, TN-1063 excused herself as soon as possible. BB-9e questioned her as she walked down the corridors of the Finalizer.

"Blaster practice, real blaster practice." _I need to relieve the tension in my body_. She had felt wound up since awakening, discovering the flight roster had been temporarily canceled with all pilots on standby. She took quick steps to the training hall finding a few Stormtroopers practicing hand to hand combat. A silver protocol droid monitored their progress.

TN-1063 entered her code into the blaster rack, choosing the smaller hand-held pistol rather than the larger rifle with scope used by troopers out on the field. She moved into one of the empty stalls, setting the target rotation to medium skill level. She breathed in and out, calming her heart rate, then raised the blaster, squeezing off several shots. The target centers lit green every time she made a direct hit. TN-1063 adjusted her aim faster, clearing the round in good time.

She glanced at her score, lowering the blaster. "Not bad, huh?" BB-9e chirped an affirmative, tilting its head up at her. TN-1063 reached over to up the skill level -

She felt it suddenly.

The primordial scream of hundreds of crew members burning up alive in a sudden flash fire that spread throughout the ship.

It was the Dreadnought.

She could see it suspended in space, interior decks collapsing into themselves. The scream of the officers on the bridge followed by Captain Canady's composure. Their deaths ripped through her, tearing her soul to pieces. Light years away, she had felt the death cries of the Hosnian system, now beyond the Finalizer, the Fulminatrix caused her to collapse.

TN-1063 shut her eyes against the onslaught, kneeling beside the droid; she breathed noisily through the air tubes of the helmet _. I have to cut myself off. I have to_ …in a flash, she saw herself beside the lake with its dark waters reflecting a stormy sky. She pulled back from it, deliberately sealing it off within her mind.

At last, she became aware of her own breathing. The troopers that were training had stopped, she could hear the shock in their voices as multiple comm units reported from the bridge what she already knew.

"Dreadnought down! Rebel forces have escaped!"

…

 _I saw it._

The TIE pilots sat around the few tables, some in animated discussion about the destruction of the Dreadnought. A few commented on the lack of action on part of the bridge, they were eager to restore the reputation of the TIE fighter squadron by combat after Starkiller's devastation.

It was arrogance, she thought. Hux believed the Dreadnought would end all within a matter of moments. She hadn't been there on the bridge, watching the inevitability of the larger ship's demise.

"The Supremacy has joined our fleet!" TN-3002 said, looking up from a datapad. The others crowded around him, curious. "It's really happening; the rebel scum are going to meet their end!" A few cheers came from those gathered, watched over by a Lieutenant of the squadron.

 _Or Hux is going to be censured_ , she thought, glancing over to the displayed projection of Ileenium space. The Finalizer was minuscule in scale against the larger proportions of the flagship. BB-9e beeped to get her attention, prodding her leg.

"My mother transferred there from the Tarkin years ago." She held the cup of caf, her fingers curled tighter around the plastic container. "I haven't seen her since." It was enough once to know her mother was alive. The child she had been had stopped crying to be rescued once Jessika Ionone had left her behind.

I didn't need her - how many times did I tell myself that. How long had it been before I began to believe it? TN-1063 thought back to her childhood in a blur of faces, memories, something like madness. Back then, she was the one who helped me. She made those things go away. TN-1063 stood up abruptly, replacing her helmet on. The droid rolled out from beneath the table.

"Come on, let's go visit my mother."

…

She found Commander Soren alone in the flight tower overlooking the main hangar.

"Requesting permission to visit the Supremacy before light speed."

"Out of the question. You've been absent for too long, TN-1063." Soren didn't even look up from his paperwork.

She reached up and removed her helmet, aware the voice modulator distorted her voice. "You will grant my request and say nothing of it to anyone else."

Soren stiffened, his glance flickering upward.

"What did …I will grant your request and say nothing of it to anyone else."

TN-1063 smiled slightly as BB-9e looked up at her. She held her finger to her lips. "When is the next transport?"

"With Captain Phasma, she and her troopers are going aboard with General Hux."

The troop leader might question her presence going onboard the Supremacy. Rather than risk confrontation, she opted for something else.

"You will authorize a TIE fighter craft for my use.

…

The flight was brief into the hangar. She had felt the pull of the tractor beam guide her to a docking post. _I don't know where she is…it's been years. I'm positive she never left the Supremacy, but the ship is so massive, it's going to take some time to find her. I hadn't thought this far ahead._

Somewhat embarrassed with her lack of foresight, TN-1063 disembarked with the droid following closely behind. Once on the hangar floor, she blended in with the milling pilots, unnoticed by troopers. TN-1063 walked past rows of docked fighters, pausing only to consider the droid.

"You stay here."

A predictable number of complaints in binary came.

"Not at all. Pilots here don't have droids unless they're doing maintenance on their fighters."

The droid nudged her legs, beeping.

"We're being watched? Of course, we are. There's security feeds in here and some of the other droids will notice you." She patted the droid's head, futilely trying to straighten the crooked antenna. "Now, stay here and keep yourself out of trouble. I don't know how long I'm going to be gone."

…

The droid watched her stride through the archway leading deeper into the ship. A few other BB-9es consulted each other concerning an elite fighter's malfunctioning weapon system. The droid considered rolling over to give its expertise - likely it was a fried chip or circuit in the main panel that was causing the trigger failure; but decided it was better to let the other BB-9es figure it out.

They didn't have a personality chip embedded in their directional programming that overrode directives to obey the First Order, and humans second. The droid's former pilot was reconnaissance in deep space missions, he had gotten the chip off the black market and been tinkering with the droid's programming during a long journey through hyperspace. The droid was aware that this made it different than the other BB-9e models who considered themselves rotating pieces of machinery rather than assets to the pilots.

The other BB-9es scattered for someone's passage. BB-9e's blue photoreceptor eye flickered in alarm. Its head swiveled on its magnetic casters; someone had walked up behind it. The droid associated the man with rendering it nonfunctional, tearing its head off while TN-1063 screamed. Other images surfaced from the droid's databank. The man's light saber held to the pilot's neck while she stared so calmly into the man's eyes.

Kylo Ren stood there seemingly looking at it - perhaps trying to remember where he had seen a blue eye on a BB-9e model before.

"The pilot's here."

The droid wasn't going to take any chances. Rotating swiftly around, its body rolled fast across the hangar, disappearing through a gap of Stormtroopers. Through several snaking corridors, the droid spotted TN-1063 stepping into a service lift and started rolling faster to make it. The pilot held the door open as the droid slipped inside, rolling to a stop at her feet.

"I told you to wait - oh, never mind. My first mission on the Tarkin after I got you - and you wouldn't listen then either." She subsided into silence, lapsing into her own thoughts. There was a slight shift in the Supremacy around them as the ship made the jump into light speed. When TN-1063 spoke it was without a trace of hesitation in her voice. "I know where she is."

…

TN-1063 faced the wall, arms loosely crossed. BB-9e had resisted her attempts to leave it behind in the main hangar. The droid tilted itself at a slight angle, resting against her leg. She had tried to compose herself for the meeting, running through a litany of mantras programmed into her since childhood. None had offered her what she needed, clarity, guidance.

 _I can't even think of him now without remembering the vivid spark of his anger, the viable threat of his light saber held to my throat. In short, I have nothing and no one_. She wasn't sure how to feel anymore. She certainly felt nothing at the prospect of chasing down the Resistance's pitiful fleet through hyperspace.

The door opened and closed with a quiet snap.

BB-9e rotated to look at the woman.

TN-1063 removed her helmet, caught between a smile and a nod of respect. Her mother had aged, fine lines stretched beneath her brown eyes, her dark hair was shot through with silver. She wore it up fastened into a heavy bun at the nape of her neck.

"Mother." She almost couldn't speak the word. It choked in her throat, reminiscent of her younger days.

Her mother wore her peaked cap at a slight jaunty angle; the dark uniform was neatly pressed, creaseless on the slight form. Jessika was thin, almost dainty in her trousers and trooper boots. She didn't smile looking upon her daughter's face.

"Why have you come here?"

She had expected rejection. It was fine; she had only come for information. TN-1063 kept her expression implacably calm. "I came to ask you something. I couldn't ask through holocall." _Plus, I wanted to see you. I feel such disconnect in the fleet._ She studied the woman's face hopefully. "The Supremacy hasn't left the unknown regions in years. I thought this was the time to come. I…I'm glad to see you're doing well." Embarrassment was a new sensation for her, one she wasn't pleased to discover.

"What did you want to know?"

She held onto her helmet tightly, gripping it almost painfully to her chest. "When I was a child, I used to have visions. I used to see things that had passed years before. I would see things to come and I could see things others had seen, viewing them through my own eyes."

"No-"

"I saw Darth Vader's death. I saw the fall of the Jedi Order. I've seen so many things - then they stopped. I need to know how because they're happening again and I…I can't shut them off."

Jessika bit through her lip, her impassive façade shattered. "I told you they weren't real. You were six years old, you believed me. You wanted to believe me so you closed off that part of your mind."

"What are they?"

" _Force consciousness_. You're a _Force_ sensitive. Contact with a strong _Force_ user likely triggered an awakening of your latent ability."

 _Kylo Ren._

"You are…strong with the _Force_." Jessika drew closer, her voice dropping intently. "Pol was the one who wanted you to become Snoke's sword. But, I had seen - I knew the _dark side_ corrupted the body and soul. My father was an Inquisitor of the Empire. He was a monster beneath his mask - I-I couldn't let you become what he was."

"Were you and Pol …gifted in the _Force_?" Her old training surfaced. She couldn't think of Pol Ionone as her father anymore.

"No. My father hated me," Jessika's tears shone. "He hated me so much because I couldn't even feel it the smallest bit. Pol was jealous of those who could manipulate the Force. But, he too was deadened to it. I wanted to keep you safe -"

"You let me go! They used to hit me for crying for my mother! When you left - they dragged me kicking and screaming through the Tarkin. They locked me in a dark room by myself with an endless loop of First Order conditioning playing! I could've died out there." TN-1063 felt pain, the old familiar ache in her heart. "And all this time, you've never once tried to call me or look for me."

"You did what you wanted to do. A pilot in the most dangerous military in the world. You used to tell me when we lived on Chandrila that you wanted to fly through space. You have your father's skill in the cockpit." Jessika brushed her cheek with folded fingers. TN-1063 felt the rasp of leatheris against her cheek. Jessika's hands were warm.

 _Pol wasn't…he was an intelligence officer._

"Who do you-"

Jessika drew her into her arms, breathing the words in her ear. "Snoke ordered the destruction of _Force_ sensitive children once he realized Ben Solo's rival in the light was rising. That's why I wanted you to suppress your gift for the time when the purge happened. Never doubt I do love you very much. I've done so much to protect you."

She saw her father's death in a searing flash. _Pol Ionone was going to present her to Snoke the evening of his death. In her vision, Jessika lowered the blaster, remorselessly watching her husband fall to the floor._

"Stay away from Kylo Ren. He will sense you and he will kill you." Jessika threaded something small around her neck. "Once he knows who you truly are, then he will not hesitate."

She stepped back, her hand sliding to catch the pendant where it lay against the hard chest plate. "Why would he want to kill me? I'm just a pilot; I have nothing to do with the Jedi or Sith."

…

In the turbolift, she studied the pendant her mother had given her. It was a red crystal wrapped with a tongue of tarnished metal suspended on a hemp cord. _"Someone once told me, the strongest hearts are made of kyber."_ Jessika had imbued the crystal with her thoughts. As TN-1063 held it, she heard the words whispered in her ear as if Jessika had stood there and said them to her.

 _"It belonged to your grandfather. The crystal will produce a red blade once it is reunited with its other half. Use it wisely."_

 _It was once used for dark deeds._ She could feel the hum of its power, a shadowed echo of the past overlying the jagged shape.

 _"Only you can shape it to be what you want it to be."_

She held it out and saw the metal guard and slim handle. She saw herself ignite it with a crackling hum, the blade a vivid red splashing the floor with a brilliant fiery hue. Someone breathed in the darkness, less man than machine _. What was meant to be….who was I…facing?_

…

She moved slowly through the vast cityscape of the Supremacy. Officers milled about, some off duty, others overseeing the more mundane aspects of the flagship's operations. She had heard six Star Destroyers could comfortably be housed within, another two were its full accompaniment. The mega-class Dreadnought had its own production line, producing All-Terrain walkers, parts for the armada. She watched personality-less BB-9es accompanying officers, their photoreceptors shining red.

"I wouldn't want to be stationed here. It's so…big and impersonal." The Tarkin was large enough for its accompaniment of crew and troopers. She had been raised there along with the other children, trained under Duma's watchful eye. She had never been sent to one of the First Order's secret flight schools.

"Let's go."

TN-1063 noticed the stationary forms of the TIE pilots standing at rigid attention. Someone was making an inspection or - she shook her head, she needed to get back to the Finalizer. The Supremacy had left hyperspace not long before. Ship to ship communications weren't great and she needed to make sure her name hadn't come up for flight duty.

"Lieutenant ...," The voice almost gave her a pause. She skirted the outer edges, purposefully moving toward the lift that held her fighter.

"And you, TN-1063."

She stopped, the droid ducked in front of her.

"With all due respect, I'm not part of the Supremacy's TIE Wing." She felt the pilots tense. They were aware of the instability of the individual who had called them for selection. They were likely bracing themselves for a blow up.

"But, if it is your command." She turned to him, glimpsing the livid scar. _I suppose I have no choice in the matter_. Scowling behind her helmet, she climbed into the fighter she was directed to. The cockpit came alive at the touch of her fingertips. TN-1063 listened to the murmurs of the other pilots. Ren was taking a light squad. The best with the red-striped helmets of the elitist ranks.

"Follow my lead."

Accordingly, they dropped behind his TIE Silencer.

She couldn't speak to the droid; ship to ship comms had to stay open. TN-1063 began the assault the moment the others did. Firing on the Resistance cruiser as it ponderously turned to face the First Order task force.

 _This is wrong._

She didn't feel the usual thrill from space flight, the excitement from the possibility of instantaneous death. She felt nothing except the wrongness of the attack. _Where were the T-70 X-wing fighters? Where was the challenge she had come to expect from the Rebel forces?_ Ren sent the Silencer into a tailspin, firing on the cruiser as if he alone could eradicate the memory of it.

 _He's trying to destroy something._

 _Or someone._

Unable to break formation, she followed along the side as he entered the runway. The resulting sonic boom from his proton torpedoes tore through the Resistance hangar obliterating their fleet of X-wings. Ren emerged, leading the TIEs in a thundering sweep past the main bridge.

She braced herself; it was coming. _The end. Complete obliteration of the Resistance high command._

The TIE Silencer drifted above, cannons charged.

She didn't move, waiting for command.

 _Whoever it was…they were there._

 _I'll help you - I'll help you destroy your chains._

She began her firing sequence. Her hands were wrapped around the controls, thumbs depressing the trigger. Her companion fired beside her and then they were soaring up and through the resulting wreckage. TN-1063 felt more than she could see the look Ren shot them.

….

She docked first.

The only TIE to return.

One more mission under her belt.

She unstrapped the droid, lifting it onto her back. On the lift down to the hangar floor, she heard the particular high-pitched whistle of the Silencer as it swooped in low through the tractor beam.

She started walking. It didn't matter where. They were bound to gravitate toward another. _She was a dead star and he was the galaxy_. He caught up to her outside an empty room. Ren was pale, bereft of his helmet. TN-1063 looked at him once and dropped her gaze. The _Force_ pushed her into the room; she felt it at her shoulders, a pressure that built up beneath her temples. Something whispered to open herself up to it, surrender her defenses, but she held back afraid.

"It was you."

She froze.

"Remove your helmet."

Mechanically, she did as she was told. Something in his eyes warned her, burned her down to the core. There was hatred within them, an abyss so deep she felt herself drowning in his grief.

His hand shot out for her throat.

She had seen it before. The closure of the esophagus, the pinch of the flesh like the squeeze of immaterial fingers. TN-1063 sputtered, her lips turning blue. She couldn't breathe any more than she could hope to loosen his grasp.

Ren was going to kill her now.

 _I have nothing, absolutely nothing left to lose._

So she reached out.

One hand faltering in the space between them.

TN-1063's fingers closed on a handful of his tunic. Her vision blackened and she pulled backward, falling with the presence in her mind deep into the depths of the lake in her mindscape.

They emerged into the afternoon light of twenty years before. The day her parents had gone into the service of the First Order, the day when they had renounced her as their child.

"Let go of the past."

 _I did. I had to in order to survive._

"I couldn't be the sword they wanted me to be. So I became something else, what I was meant to be." TN-1063 mirrored her emotions, the loss, abandonment. The sensation of being an outcast. They were emotions she saw in him.

"You are nothing. You're a pilot among hundreds."

"I am only a cog that's true, part of the wheel that keeps the First Order in power." TN-1063 felt the physical grip on her throat loosening. "But, that doesn't mean my life is worth less than anyone else's."

She surfaced from the lake, her conscious and subconscious merging. TN-1063's eyes flickered open; she let her hand fall to the side, fingers curled over the remnant of warmth from his chest.

"Someone was there on the Resistance cruiser, someone you couldn't let go of. Remember your duty, Ren. Don't lose sight of who you are meant to be."

His eyes narrowed and for a moment she thought he would clasp her throat again in the embrace of the Force. TN-1063 steeled herself for the assault, for the inevitability of her death. But, he did nothing.

"Return to the Finalizer…and speak of this to no one."

"Yes, sir." She inclined her head respectfully. "Is it…is it at all possible to transfer to the Tarkin?" The hopelessness of her situation took hold of her again…once she had bared her emotions to him; the need for darkness, for a place to hide possessed her. She had lost her mind for a moment, convinced he would see something similar between them. In her wildest dreams, she had hoped he would open up to her…none of it began with the feeling of the _Force_ crushing her throat.

He seemed to consider her request; she glanced upward, peering through her lashes. TN-1063 could read nothing in his expression to tell what he was thinking.

"No."

"The Resistance will die within eighteen hours by the cannons of the Supremacy. The First Order has won. They have no need of one space superiority fighter." She said with a hint of desperation coloring her words. She knew she needed to get away from him. Something about him made her feel reckless, needy, wanting more than the occasional glimpse or word. TN-1063 stepped closer, her hand lifting to catch the side of his face. It was frightening to her, just how much she wanted him.

Beneath her gloved hand, she felt the uneven edge of his scar and felt hatred for the one who had harmed him. Ren's dark eyes turned down to her, fathomless, alight with something like curiosity. The moment stretched into eternity before her lips brushed his.

"Goodbye, my Lord." She stepped back the moment she felt him respond. The ever present hunger was there in his eyes, naked, brought to the fore by her stirring of his emotions.

"I hope to see you victorious." She bowed from the waist formally before walking away with BB-9e trailing after her.

…

TN-1063 reported for duty sometime in the early hours. In the mess, talk had still buzzed about the destruction of the Dreadnought by Resistance bombs. She had listened with interest to the details she hadn't known, fascinated by the desperate ploy of the single starfighter.

 _Poe Dameron_.

The pilot was the very same interrogated by Ren days before, captured on the surface of Jakku. Dameron's BB unit had been carrying a vital piece of a map that would lead to the galaxy's living legend, Luke Skywalker. She suspected part of the ploy to utilize heat-seeking missiles against the 101st squadron had been Ren's way of getting back at the TIE pilots who had failed to retrieve the BB unit from Jakku.

TN-1063 rubbed her throat absently; her vocal chords were still raw from the night before.

 _Why was he so angry she had fired on the bridge?_

 _It was you - you -_

It hadn't been just her. There were two twin jets of green fired onto the Resistance cruiser. She had been the only one to survive, returning to the Supremacy under orders. Only for him to send her back to the Finalizer.

Her lips tingled.

Absently, she brushed her thumb pad over the smooth puckered surface. It had been nigh impossible to sleep for a few hours in between shifts. Ren had utterly possessed her thoughts, her waking mind. TN-1063 knew she was falling hard for him. Dropping her head into her hands, the edge of her chest plate bit into her chin.

She needed the openness of space.

She needed to be in the cockpit again.

The stasis of waiting for the Resistance cruiser to come within range had sapped the energy of the chase. Now that victory was on the cusp, she wanted to go back to the days of dog fights, proving her skills as a TIE pilot. She thought distantly of the black and orange X-wing…Black Leader…who had shot her down above Starkiller Base. Tangling with him had been almost… _fun_. She morosely reflected that the pilot was likely one of many casualties experienced by the Resistance.

It almost didn't seem fair - hunting them down like animals.

 _I can't take it anymore._

She went to find Commander Soren.

"Requesting permission to join patrol."

"TN-1063…very well. Looks like the Supremacy pulled something in." Soren glanced at the information running on his datapad. "Join the 103rd, dock D3."

…

"I'll feel better I think. I'm sure I will."

The droid expressed doubt in a series of blips.

"Things were much simpler before I dropped my ID card. I still don't know why you didn't tell me."

BB-9e protested volubly until she held her hands up.

"Alright, you did. He picked it up with the _Force_ or something. Calm down, okay?" She switched the comm unit on, falling into formation. Dropping from the underbelly of the Star Destroyer, she became one with the dark, fathomless nothingness that was space.

TN-1063 let her thoughts go.

Her hands knew which controls to manipulate, which flight path to follow. The cold beauty of the distant stars captivated her with the promise of freedom, new worlds, alien tongues, the rich life of the galaxy so different from the harsh sterility of the First Order.

 _I want to let it go._

 _If I could be with him once it would be enough._

Reluctantly, her eyes flickered to the inescapable bulk of the Resistance cruiser. It was within range of the fighters if they chose suicide. She averted her face from it, performing the sweep over the Finalizer. The Supremacy's own TIE squadron moved in slow arcs over the width of the mega-class Star Dreadnought. TN-1063 drifted beneath its shadow, her thoughts passive.

 _Ren._

 _He knelt like a knight from a fairytale._

Her heart dropped to her knees.

She could see a red room, vast, occupied by a single black chair. A throne room she had never seen before. _He was there screaming in fury and sorrow._ _The blue blade twisted itself through the air piercing the body of the scavenger._

 _"Ben."_

She pulled back from the vision, her heart slammed painfully in her chest. "I saw the Supremacy. It was -it was -"

 _Guards covered in head to foot armor wielding an assortment of weapons she had never known existed_.

"Snoke…," _Snoke killed the girl_ \- she switched off the comm quickly. "I saw it…,"

The droid beeped a reply that she failed to smile at.

"It hasn't happened yet. They're onboard the Supremacy. If I focus hard enough, I can sense where they are. The girl - whoever she is, is still alive." The air tubes rasped with her deep inhalation. She felt like she had run a long distance without breath, but at the same time felt her blood rising. There was darkness to the Supremacy, within it, something truly malignant resided. "I think what I saw is going to happen."

 _"Kill him!"_

 _He's going to fight alone._

TN-1063 changed their flight course for the Supremacy's tractor beam. Switching frequencies, she cut to the air tower onboard the flagship. "Requesting permission to dock. Change of schedule."

A crackle of static preceded the response.

"Pilot TN-1063, return to your established route."

 _No!_

She had to think quickly. "Lord Ren requested my presence for a future mission debriefing!" _I must be crazy. What if I'm wrong - what if I'm not? What can I do…,_

Interminable silence, then a reluctant docking number was sent to her fighter's computer.

 _Thankfully, they're so afraid of him, they wouldn't question it. No one would think to lie with his name out of fear._ She bit her lip, guiding the fighter into the hangar. The brightness of the overhead lights made her blink several times from the darkness of her cockpit. BB-9e beeped and she nodded.

"I could be wrong…but I can't just ignore it." If it happens…or is happening. She hurriedly unstrapped the droid, reaffixing the spherical body on her back. Climbing out in seconds, she headed for the lift between fighters, reaching the ground level. With a glance as she ascertained the TIE Silencer was still docked where it had been before.

 _I can help him - maybe - I won't even be a distraction because he doesn't care if I get hurt…_ the thought almost made her pause, but she shook it off and ran for the turbolift, catching the notice of a few troopers.

"Is everything alright, TN-1063?"

"Yes! Yes, it will be." She pulled off her glove quickly, hesitating. The keypad was locked only to those with high security clearance. TN-1063's fingers brushed the metal plate. In a split second, she had seen the code. Her fingers flew over the keys, waiting for the doors to slide open.

In the lift, she removed her helmet, setting it down at her feet. The droid had rolled in after her, beeping a stream of binary. "If I'm wrong -" she glanced at the counter indicating the floors they had rode past. "I'm probably going to be executed." She reached for her blaster, clicking the safety off. "I want you to get away…find my mother. Tell her, I'm sorry." BB-9e nudged her leg gently, head tilted back.

"They'll probably reprogram you." She dropped to one knee, setting the blaster down. Enfolding her arms around the small round body, she hugged the droid closely. "We've pulled off so many crazy stunts together." The droid beeped quietly in agreement. TN-1063 loosened her grasp, straightening. She stopped four floors down below her destination. "Mother is in quadrant forty-four. She's at her station. Stay with her."

The doors revolved open.

BB-9e rolled a few feet and stopped to look at her.

"Go on." TN-1063 tried to put on a brave front. "Go!" The droid backed up and watched until the door closed sealing away their last sight of each other. She felt her expression crumple. _This is devotion, isn't it? Running to save someone who doesn't care…I really am stupid._ She looked down at the pistol in her hand.

 _Blaster practice, right. Right_. She took in a deep breath and watched as the panels slid open to the throne room, a place she had never been before.

"Ren!" She surveyed the slain, her heart in her throat. He was struggling in the grasp of a Praetorian Guard, the staff edge of the weapon held across his throat as a second guard wielded a segmented whip like a rapier blade. Without hesitation, she raised the blaster and started shooting -

…

BB-9e rolled to a stop. Something was going on. One of the other BB units had discovered Rebel scum sneaking aboard. While it wasn't against protocol to congratulate the other droid, BB-9e observed the platoon of troopers led by Captain Phasma escort the interlopers from a particularly sensitive area of the flagship. BB-9e waited until they had been cleared from the sector before continuing to the service lift used by common troopers.

The droid considered the actions of its pilot during its slow progress. TN-1063 was unlike the rest of her squad mates, unique, human, and susceptible to emotion. The last was something the droid's superior programming defined as a strictly human fallibility. _She was willing to do anything she could to protect someone_ … _even to the point of putting her own life at risk._ When the droid had gotten between Kylo Ren and TN-1063, the droid had calculated the odds of being destroyed by the volatile young man as increasingly _high_. But, the droid still had, ignoring basic reasoning programming.

 _Why?_

TN-1063 had saved the droid once.

TN-1063 was as good or a better pilot than the droid's former master.

But, none of it explained why the droid reversed course, picking up speed as it zoomed through the corridors back to the distant turbolift.

…

The shots bounced off the armor.

A dozen curses went through her head.

She halted her advance, stricken by the realization that maybe this was a fight she couldn't win. _Sorry, mother…I just couldn't stay away._

The Praetor dropped Ren. She had seen his glance at her. A slight struggle as he shifted with difficulty to see who had arrived.

 _Who are you?_

The unspoken words vibrated between them.

 _Someone who cares._

She ran for the vibro-arbir blade thrown near the edge of the platform. Her hand closed around it as the guards charged at her. Ren had collapsed into strangled unconsciousness. _For now, she was prey_. TN-1063 went into a dive, evading both narrowly, tucking her body into a roll; she sprung up to her feet in a defensive crouch. She couldn't imagine how they could see through their flat featured helmets. They were broad and tall in height, with greaves on their arms and thick gloves on their hands. They reminded her of old guards of the senate she had seen once in a datapad.

The vibroblade crackled with an electric charge. She drew it back, parrying the high blow that came for her face. The other went for her side, wielding a bilari-electro whip chain. The edges scored close to her flight suit. She aimed low, kicking the guard in the chest, disrupting his balance.

 _Kriff…who are these guys?_

Retreating a few steps, she ran through her options liking none of them. The pair was mismatched with one long reach weapon and the shorter rapier whip. They paced around her, assessing her, she was an unknown variable in their eyes. Something they couldn't predicate unlike Ren whose presence they were familiar with.

That fact alone made them cautious.

 _Which meant she had a slight advantage_. She tensed when they came at her. Ducking sharply, she struck low against the guard's thigh. The blow made him stagger as she completed her turn; she slid herself between his wide-legged stance, jumping up to slash at his back. Sparks flew from the contact between the armor and the blade edge. He started to turn, wielding the whip in a crackling hail. She bobbed and swayed, evading the next lunge from the voulge-staff - the edge of the axis shaped weapon struck the floor. Switching grips, she slashed sideways, searching for the soft edge where the ornate robe met the edge of the helmet. Blood flew, sparking on the edge of the second blade. TN-1063 drew it out as the whip lashed across her back. Her scream stuttered to a groan as she bent forward, kicking out.

He was ready for her this time however, catching the slack in the chain. It snapped through the air threateningly, catching her around the ankle. Thrown off balance, she crashed to the floor, bruising her shoulder. Restraining her grunt of pain, tears sprang to her eyes, blurring her sight. The chain had bit unmercifully into her boot, slicing through her skin as he unraveled the length for his next attack. TN-1063 lunged for the vibro-arbir blade that had flown from her hand, scrambling up to her feet; she winced at the suddenness of putting weight on the ankle. When he came at her again, she weaved beneath the whip slower than before. Now on the defensive, she tried to put distance between them, finding the platform narrowing behind her.

 _Kriff!_

The next blow sent her off balance, catching her right wrist. The sharp curved links spliced through her thick flight glove, ripping her flesh. She screamed in pain, dropping the vibroblade. The Praetor sent her stumbling with a swift, brutal kick to the abdomen. _Teräs Käsi!_ She had been trained and become an adept in the form of hand to hand combat, recognizing something of the fighting style. Despite the pain blurring her sight, she evaded his next blow, moving her body in sync with the whip. TN-1063 tried to loosen the grasp on her wrist - the edges around them darkened. She felt the pressure in her temples increase until she was three places at once.

 _Oh, .no._

She was there standing on the bridge of a cruiser as it turned in slow motion, beside a woman she had never seen before. She knew innately the woman's name as sure as she had heard it spoken in her youth. _Vice Admiral Amilyn Holdo._ She saw what Holdo saw, the might of the First Order firing on the Resistance transports, disregarding her and her mission to protect the light.

 _They're not going to win._

 _She wasn't going to let them win._

TN-1063 saw through Holdo's eyes as the blue streaks of light speed thundered past the cruiser's viewport windows, her final surrender not of pain or loss but of triumph. She wasn't only there. There was another place, a room of black chrome with computer stations. She stood behind Jessika as she quietly worked processing files, watching on with a feeling of inescapable futility as Jessika stilled, lightly pressing her hand to her brow.

"Sweetheart." _Her mother was thinking of her, always was. She had never forgotten her not even for an instant._

"Mom."

TN-1063 wanted to reach out through the space between them, cross the lost time spent apart - _most of all she wanted to say she forgave her._

The cup next to Jessika rattled, the floor vibrated.

The two parts of her recognized the imminence of a moment, a second when there was life and when life had been extinguished. The last second of consciousness coinciding with a blinding flash of white light splicing through the Supremacy, its reach scoring deep into the stationary Star Destroyers. It was the most beautiful and terrifying thing she had felt or witnessed the sheer nature of _sacrifice_.

TN-1063's lips parted, her scream echoing up from the depths of her soul harsh, unrelenting. She flew apart into atoms, flesh and body disintegrating, Holdo, Jessika, and countless others gone in an instant.

She slammed back into her body, screeching into the face of the guard, the _Force_ rose within her released with the surge of emotion. The whip loosened and she toppled over the edge of the catwalk with the sickening finality of the collision.

…

The doors opened.

BB-9e rolled out, photoreceptor eye probing the interior of the massive room. There were five Praetorian Guards lying in various states of dismemberment, the fifth whose throat had been slashed lay not far from the bodies of Kylo Ren and a woman who was not the pilot.

A sixth Praetorian Guard had fallen across the catwalk. BB-9e risked a trill of binary, calling the pilot's numerical designation. The droid rolled down the catwalk as close as it dared to the guard.

"BB-9e!"

The pilot's voice was muffled, but came from the left. The droid backed up, drawing closer to the edge where red platform lights contrasted sharply with the ebony plating. She was down there, dangling by a cable wrapped awkwardly around her arm. TN-1063 had begun the arduous process of climbing back up. The droid noticed she wasn't using her right wrist, blood and lacerated flesh dribbled from the raw-looking wound.

BB-9e asked _if she was alright_ in droidspeak.

"I've been better." She grunted, hauling herself up one-handed, she swung to the side and braced with her gravity boots. The droid tilted its body at an angle, various tensile arms emerging from hidden compartments. TN-1063 had reached the underside of the catwalk, slotting her fingertips into the grooves; she clumsily reached upward for the droid's metal claw.

"Almost."

BB-9e noticed wetness in her eyes, a shine to her sweaty face streaking sweat and blood. She had been crying. Her hand grasped ahold of the metal claw; the droid rolled backward a few inches, pulling her weight. For a second, it felt itself sliding toward the edge, set off balance by her weight dependent on its interior cable.

She grabbed the top edge of the catwalk, her head emerging. TN-1063 relaxed her hold on the droid and started to lift herself up, her sudden shout seconds too late.

A shadow fell over the droid - the only warning before sharp metal cut through it, splitting its chrome skull down to the body.

…

Her scream deafened her, tearing through her raw vocal chords as if she could deny what was happening feet away from her. TN-1063 swung her body sideways, grappling onto the catwalk. With the propulsion of her legs, she rolled up and onto the narrow footpath as the Praetor faced her with his bilari-electro whip.

She could see herself surrounded by the lake in her mindscape. The water at once so reflective was a deep dark blue-black choppy with emotion. She felt nothing inside and everything on the outside. The pain gave her strength and she knew what she had to do.

Her hand shot out of its own accord, fingers curling into a clawing gesture. The guard felt the brush of invisible fingertips slowly crawling up his collarbone, encircling his throat. She felt the _Force_ as an extension of herself, feeling the guard swallow beneath her curled palm. Slowly, she hooked her fingers into his flesh, piercing through to the sticky gurgle of blood. TN-1063 drew her hand toward her, closing into a tight fist. A shower of blood erupted from his throat, the hold of the _Force_ loosened. The guard collapsed into a sack of meat.

Her hand fell to her side.

She hurried to put BB-9e back together. The droid beeped weakly once its head rolled back on the magnetic casters. "I know." She glanced around. "I'm not finished yet." Leaving the droid, she picked her way across the room grabbing the vibro-arbir blade and the bilari-electro whip. She studied the circular depression in the floor where the throne had rested. She glanced at it then dropped at Ren's side. Contusions marred his brow; he had a slice across his chest, but he was still breathing.

"I'm coming back." She bent forward quickly pressing her lips to his. It felt good even for the fleeting second it lasted. Reluctantly letting him go, she moved around the body of the scavenger. A clean hole had been punched through the girl's chest. TN-1063 felt the malevolence within the ship, the Supreme Leader was alive. He was hiding somewhere licking his wounds. Removing her remaining glove, she brushed her fingertips over the depression in the floor, taken back in time. Phantom-like the images were recreated around her, _Ren bringing the girl - kneeling in respect. He had brought the prize, a Force sensitive who knew where Skywalker was_.

He thought she could be turned.

 _The girl was powerful, untrained still. She was power in its rawest, untamed form. He saw potential in her to match him._

"Why did he kill her?" Despite the flare of jealousy, the girl was younger than her. She had her whole life ahead of her. _The scavenger's murder was a loss of life, ultimately purposeless._

 _Snoke had considered bringing them together - Snoke looked into her mind. He saw everything - not just the conflict in the girl's soul. He saw a vision of his own destruction -_ she looked through the Supreme Leader's eyes and saw something she had never hoped to see again.

 _Darkness, a hooded figure and the flash of golden eyes._

 _A new Sith Empire._

 _One that wasn't controlled by him._

He was afraid of the girl becoming one with the _dark side_.

She withdrew from the vision, her lips pressed tightly together. Shifting her weight, she bent and depressed the hidden mechanism. The circular indentation opened into a seam as the floor around her began to lower.

BB-9e trilled after her.

"Yeah, I'm scared too." She tried to smile one more time reassuringly before descending into the darkness of a subterranean corridor lit by flickering red lanterns.

" _Snoke's boudoir_ indeed." TN-1063 muttered thinking of a joke she had heard cruder troopers say, stepping off the lift. The moment her weight was off of it, the calibration sensors lifted the platform back into place closing off her sight of the throne room above. She moved slowly away from the sharp corridor end into the richly carpeted hallway, fumbling momentarily to find a glow tube from her belt.

She had walked on for some time before a set of double doors loomed ahead of her. _I can feel it…Snoke's Force signature, that's what it is, isn't it? That intense feeling of evil that Kylo doesn't have. But, even Snoke is nothing compared to Vader_. She laid her hand on the keypad, glimpsing the code put in by the Praetorian Guards he had taken with him.

The doors unsealed to a massive room filled with glass display cases. She glanced at the _history of the Galactic Empire, remnants of the Sith Empire, and relics from Korriban_ …the latter she shuddered at, repulsed and somehow drawn to them at the same time.

"Korriban…,"

She drew near to the legacy light saber of Emperor Vitiate _whose will was that of the stars_ , framed by a panel depicting Ashla and Bogan, the moons of Tython, _light and darkness_.

 _Where did he get it?_ She touched the glass reverently. _And how do I know the name? Why does it…,_

"Who are you?"

They were behind her.

She could hear the clink in the armor, the sizzling snap of their weapons. "It doesn't matter." She turned slowly, shielding the _Force_ within the darkness of the lake. The moment before they came at her, she gestured with a flick of her hand. Their weapons flew to each other's throats, biting deeply into flesh. They uttered no screams, nothing but the wet gush of rich, warm blood.

"The _dark side_ is strong in this place." TN-1063's eyes flickered around the mausoleum hidden within the heart of the Supremacy. "So much malice and evil has been done with these objects."

Someone moved between the cases into the center aisle. Tall and thin, clad in a gold khalat robe, Snoke's withered face observed her. "I was wondering when someone else would come. I thought mistakenly it was her - _young Rey_ , but I see I was mistaken." There was some surprise, some awe in his deep sepulchral tones. " _What_ are you?"

"It doesn't matter," she said, imagining the lake beneath a serene sky. "At least, I don't. But, I know who you are, Snoke or should I say _Starkiller,_ murderer of Jedi?"

"And how do you know that?" The ancient face smirked in amusement, the widened gash down the brow shifted into something less monstrous.

"You've had many names. Your first was Galen Marek, a name you shed when you became the secret apprentice of Darth Vader." She shifted stance into a defensive position. "That was why you sought to corrupt Ben Solo. _You_ , who were the child of Darth Vader's creation couldn't abide the living flesh and blood of the man and were abandoned when no longer of use!"

"In the end, Vader was betrayed by his children!"

She shook her head vigorously. "You promised Ben Solo the world and your affection. The love of a father - only to take it away from him. You didn't want Ben to rule beside you - you just wanted to destroy him!" _He was never meant to become the new Vader._

 _That was why -_

"That's why you killed the girl - you thought it would hurt him!"

"Yes…my apprentice wasn't as distraught as I would've expected from him. His hatred for her destruction wasn't even enough to kill me."

She refused to wonder about that now. She needed to focus, keep projecting the darkest of Starkiller's emotions around them. "Vader cast you aside, the man you looked up to as a father that was why you preyed on Ben Solo's loneliness." She could see it all with everything she had touched. TN-1063's lips curled into a sneer. "That ring on your finger has stone from beneath Vader's castle. It's your most precious possession of the man who never loved you!"

"No!"

She withstood the _Force_ , the blackness of his control. "Deny it all you want! Lie to yourself- but it's the truth. Instead of setting yourself free, you've chained yourself to his memory!"

"Pah! Bold words from a pretty face! What do you know of Lord Vader-when you've never held a light saber before!?" He summoned his blade, the haft was silver-black, the blade a thick crimson swath.

"I've held many throughout the years." She curled her ruined fingers around the kyber crystal, inhaling the strength the crystal gave her. TN-1063 released it and parried the blow that came for her. "You're a failure, Starkiller. The Sith code is…,"

 _Peace is a lie, there is only passion._

Starkiller disarmed her swiftly. The vibro-arbir blade crashed into the one of the cases, shattering the glass. She snapped the whip from her belt, tangling with the light saber, wrenching it aside. The blade thrust dangerously close to her body - she grappled with his free hand, their hands joining for a second of connection.

 _Through passion, I gain strength._

She pushed through his mental blocks, digging deep past the protections he had placed - _if the day ever came when his apprentice surpassed him and found his way into his mind._

 _Through strength, I gain power._

Into the decaying recesses of the old man's memory, she tore open the wounds from his past. The darkness and sorrow he had wallowed in after Vader had discovered Skywalker was his son.

 _Through power, I gain victory._

Behind the corrupted essence of his body, she saw the man he had been, the faithful apprentice within the embittered old man who had taken the reins of a fallen empire, bringing it back from its collapse to the near height of its glory. She let go of his grip, breaking the crushing hold he had maintained.

"Through victory, my chains are broken."

She swiped her hand out, calling the ancient blade from its resting place. The metal hilt flew into her grasp, thrumming with renewed life; the blade once ignited was a vicious deep reddish black, ruby light danced around her. Starkiller released his light saber, thrusting his hand toward her chest. Force Lightning crackled to life between them. The immensity of the pain almost made her lose concentration.

"The _Force_ shall free me."

The blade spliced upward, sweeping his head from his shoulders. "And you're wrong - Vader wasn't destroyed by his children. He was saved by them."

…

It was done.

She staggered up to her feet, her grip sweaty around Vitiate's light saber. She wanted to let go of it… _only I can feel it…the darkness in it._ _The suppressed memories long dormant within the blade._ Her hand shook clipping it to her belt. Slowly, by touch, she found her way out of the mausoleum into the hallway. Activating the lift, she watched the light from the throne room become clearer as the platform lowered. Clambering onto it, she tucked her memories, her emotions into the lake of her mind. Within it, her _Force_ sensitivity sank within its depths.

Someone was standing there beyond her, reaching for their blaster.

BB-9e chirped, sighting her.

TN-1063 stumbled from the platform, her legs felt like rubber, refusing to carry her weight. The man started forward, catching her in his arms, supporting her as she sank to her knees. "Don't try to talk…," Hux steadied her. "Shush. I don't know how you got here-"

"You don't want to know." She tried to smile, looking into the general's green eyes. His folded fingers tentatively brushed her cheek.

"TN-1063-"

"It's Jaina, sir." _My name…the one I was called for the first six years of my life._ Leaning against his shoulder, she closed her eyes, drifting into the sea of her subconscious.

…

"I suppose you're going to say you don't know what happened here?" Hux's voice instantly put him on guard. Ren clambered up to his feet, glancing around the room. Memories surfaced from the lake he had visualized, sluggish with the churning of water. A lake…, his gaze fell on Rey, someone had closed her eyes. Guilt stirred his conscience. He had brought her to her death. Almost reluctant to tear his gaze from her, his glance narrowed on Hux.

The general tensed for an attack, grip tightening around the woman he had lifted into his arms.

TN-1063 _…Jaina._

The vague memory surfaced of someone fighting for him, someone who had promised to return. The pilot's damaged droid rolled closer to Hux, silently analyzing the woman's injuries.

"I'll take her." He summoned the Skywalker light saber to him from where it had been left beside Rey; he clipped it beside his own, noticing for the first time that another, one of burnished metal with simplistic gold styling, was clipped to Jaina's belt in place of a blaster.

 _Blaster practice._

Someone had said that…after his training sessions, when he had walked out into the shooting gallery. It had always been her with the droid sitting at her feet. She had _always_ been right in front of him, the entire time. _The one who would stand at his side_. Neither seduced by the light nor the dark, but balanced between them. Hux relinquished her with no little sneer, fury sparking in his gaze.

Ren now knew she was a _Force_ sensitive.

-TBC

AN Update: Since this is fanfiction, I'm going to disregard a few cannon facts regarding Snoke's identity. That was a major disappointment for me reading the TLJ novelization. Anyway, onto the next one :-)

Thanks for reading!

No flames!

Please Review


	2. Chapter 2

_"Evil is a word used by the ignorant and the weak. The dark side is about survival. It's about unleashing your inner power. It glorifies the strength of the individual."_ _―Darth Zannah_

* * *

She was dreaming.

It was safe in her dreams.

There was no war, no fighting, no pain, no censuring or harshness in her dream. She was a little girl again, dazzled by the sunlight of another world. Someone held her in their arms; a woman affectionately ruffled her long black hair.

In her dreams, the woman was always smiling and laughing.

"Jaina."

 _I don't want to leave this place_.

"Time it is."

She felt safe and warm.

"Rejoin the living, you must."

She opened her eyes at the quiet note of command present in the voice. She glimpsed a small hunched over form, elongated pointy ears and wispy white hair covered a domed wrinkled head. But, it was the eyes round and protuberant that had seen cities rise and fall. She almost knew the name behind the thousand memories of a Temple at the heart of a city.

Jaina extended her hand, the currents of the liquid within the tank flowed around her body. Her fingertips touched the glass. She felt the sudden whoosh of the glass breaking. The bacta tank shattered around her, sending her cascading to the floor in a heap of tubes. Jaina struck hard, gasping, ripping the oxygen mask from her face. She took in deep lungfuls of air, her eyes darting around.

"Who…who was that?"

She was alone.

…

"Who is she?"

"Jaina Ionone, formerly TN-1063."

"One of the TIE pilots…under our very noses."

They had engaged in a light sparring match within the aging starship's training hall. The knight who had been closest to becoming his apprentice had answered the summons before all the others. Soramar Ren depressed the ignition on his light saber, the beam dissipated quickly.

"How long has she been a pilot?"

"The records say she was ten years old when she began the flight simulator program. Commander Duma's own notes suggest she was a prodigy. Sixteen years if the record is accurate."

"They always said _the Empire needed children_."

He wasn't sure why that phrase had always disturbed him. Certainly, the Stormtrooper program recommended children taken at birth. He had preferred the instigation of clones similar to the Empire's early beginnings. Yet something had been off. Jaina had showed him the brief passage of twenty years from her memories…, she was six in her memories, but the record claimed she was ten years old - he couldn't understand the discrepancy and pushed the annoyance aside.

"What about her Force sensitivity?"

"She is the granddaughter of an Inquisitor of the Empire, Loress Jade. The Jade family had a long history of producing Force sensitives until the Jedi Purge."

"It was said the Inquisitorius and their families were wiped out by New Republic forces." Soramar kept his interest in check. He knew the lineage of the Jade family, tracing it through the years to the supposed date when Loress disappeared from Galactic history. He had never been able to confirm the Inquisitor's death.

"Yes…apparently some of them escaped detection. The Inquisitor had a daughter who died in the attack on the Supremacy. Her name in the files came up as Jessika Ionone, but that was a falsified name she adopted after the Empire's fall. I was able to find out her original name, it was Mara. Jade wished to make a gift to Emperor Palpatine in the form of his daughter, but from most accounts, his daughter had no Force sensitivity."

"Yet it came out in her child. What is the lineage of the girl's father?"

"Pol Ionone was a member of the ISB on Coruscant. He had no Force sensitivity either." There had been something strange in the files, a lack of corresponding dates. _Ionone had been written off as KIA during the time when Jaina should've been conceived. It was possible Ionone was not her father, yet the presence of the midi-chlorians in her blood stream could've come from Loress Jade's bloodline_.

"Ionone was part Dathomirian Zabrak. He was sent off-world because of his apparent lack of Force sensitivity. I was able to trace him as far as the Executrix, the second Star Dreadnought of the armada, then he simply disappeared."

Soramar splashed water on his face from the running faucet. The smudged tattoos from his former life appeared lurid beneath the fluorescent light. "There's so few Force sensitives. It's certainly a pity that the scavenger girl died. She could've been an asset to us even as a breeding animal."

Ren had a flash of her death. "The scavenger could've been turned."

"What about Ionone?"

"Her lineage is impressive. She is the last of the Jade clan; both sides are balanced within her so there's little chance of her falling prey to madness."

"She isn't as young as the scavenger. If she can't be turned…,"

"There will be other uses for her."

The knight shrugged, he had suggested the very same thing that they begin breeding Force sensitive females in order to produce Force sensitive younglings. "What is that?" He noticed the hilt clipped to the other side of Kylo Ren's belt.

"The light saber of Emperor Vitiate."

"…The Sith Emperor whose reign lasted a thousand years?" Soramar released a low whistle, awed. "The Supreme Leader had it all this time?"

"Yes."

"Why didn't you use it?"

"The kyber crystal shattered inside it. The light saber's only a relic. No one can use it."

…

The protocol droid who found her, guided her into a room of her own. The medbay was spacious, silver walls with perforated bracketing framed top of the line equipment designed to treat any number of injuries. Jaina sat on the edge of the cot, her legs crossed. She had asked for BB-9e, but the protocol droid confused the numerical designation with the other BB series. Jaina had felt cold after the submersion in the bacta tank and pulled a short robe out of the adjoining closet. The color was a dark grey beside a pair of loose pants.

She had seen the folded tunic and trousers in navy blue beside a peaked cap left on the foot of the bed.

Presently the door opened.

"Sir!" She jumped off the bed, falling into a precise military stance. Jaina straightened her back with a flinch. She had a sore spot running around her hip and lower back from the fall.

Duma nodded, "at ease."

She dropped her gaze to the floor, hands curling at her sides. "Sir, what's going on?

"You're…onboard the Tarkin along with other crew members who suffered injuries after the attack on the Supremacy."

"I know…I've been in here enough to recognize the Medbay." Jaina was almost afraid to ask more. "Sir, I can resume normal flight duty. I'm fully recovered-"

"I checked over your vitals before coming here. I know you're fit for duty." The old man looked tired, worn out from the tension between Hux and the new Supreme Leader. The Tarkin responded from patrolling the western reaches, arriving before the newer Resurgent-class Destroyers.

"But, the fact of the matter remains…" he had accepted the burden of providing medical facilities to the injured; among them, TN-1063. Hux had briefed him on the official word spread to the rest of the fleet; Snoke's murder by the hands of the Resistance, the new Supreme Leader in the form of Kylo Ren.

 _Ren…ah, young Ben Solo. The gangly youth with his ill-formed features who resembled the worst of his parents_. Duma had accepted the news with respect; he still remembered when Solo had arrived with his so-called knights. They were neither Sith nor Jedi, but something worse. Duma despised their arrogance, knowing it was military battles that won the day, his space superiority fighters who took the fight to the Rebels, not the mystical dark side or light side.

Now, it had fallen to him to break Jaina's heart.

"You're not a pilot anymore."

…

In the silence that followed, she struggled to accept his words. She had done this, her foolish actions onboard the Supremacy had taken everything from her. "Can I see BB-9e at least?"

"The droid's exterior refurbishment was finished earlier. General Hux and Supreme Leader Ren will be apprised that you have awakened. They're currently in meetings to discuss the potential of a new capitol world."

"I-I don't understand." Her shoulders slumped forward, she was trembling all over. "Can I hear the charges against me?"

"Charges? Why would there be charges against you? You were injured in the collision of the Resistance Cruiser and the Supremacy." Duma kept his private assumptions about the extent of her internal injuries to himself. It looked to him at least, that Force lightning had been used on her.

"Now get some rest and we'll talk later."

…

 _Is that what they're saying?_

She heard the rest of the news spread to the rest of the fleet. Snoke's body had been collected from the bowels of the Supremacy and burned in a pyre days before. Jaina relived the Supreme Leader's death in her nightmares, failing to destroy the monster. In her worst nightmares where she awoke soaked in sweat and gasping in the darkness, Snoke tortured Kylo Ren in front of her before killing him.

"I don't think I'll ever forget it."

She had never killed deliberately before. In the cockpit, she could distance herself from her kills, but this was different. She had known Snoke had to die in order for Ren to live. He would never accept his former apprentice alive. Frowning down at her hands, she reached up suddenly, patting the open collar of the shirt.

 _They always removed personal effects. Sometimes destroying them in the incinerator_. BB-9e watched her curiously, head tilted at an angle. Then, the droid beeped and a compartment opened up on its side. "You had it? Oh, good!" Her fingers curled around the thin chain. "I thought I'd lost it." _It was the last thing she physically gave me_.

Jaina fastened the chain around her neck, rubbing her fingertips over the crystal's jagged surface. Blurred memories of a volcanic world drifted through her head, the crystal was close to becoming an empty receptacle for her own feelings. Jaina could feel them now, faint emotions, hazy after images on the things Duma had touched. The commander was not a Force sensitive, but he had left behind an imprint on everything he had touched. Jaina felt the impression of concern, something he had seen was worrying him. It could've been anything; Ren as Supreme Leader, General Hux wanting to get rid of the Tarkin, concern over the direction of the First Order, but no sadness over Snoke's death-

She pulled back from reading the residuals, someone was coming. She wondered why she hadn't noticed it before, that palpable aura of malice like the eclipsing of a star. Coldness wrapped around him, resultant images of a cold, wet cavern with moisture dripping down the walls surfaced. She could see darkness and decay; the skeletons of small creatures lined the bottom of the inland cove. Jaina pulled back at the echo of screams -

He had entered quietly, standing not far from her.

"Come with me."

Jaina felt her heart rate slow to normal levels. He had startled her more from what was inside him than anything else. A passing thought of refusal went by like a fleeting shadow.

She stood up and found a pair of ankle boots, slipping them on. Ren waited at the door, his heavy cape settled around him reminiscent of Vader. _That's what he aspires to be_ , she thought, lowering her gaze respectfully to the floor. BB-9e rotated slowly behind her, keeping a goodly distance between it and Ren. _But, he'll never become Vader_.

"Where are we going?" She glanced at his back, noticing that once they passed through more populated corridors, officers gave hasty nods of respect. Ren didn't dignify her curiosity with an answer. Jaina made a face; apparently saving someone didn't entitle her to any answers. He expected her to follow him and do what he said without question. Well, that was only for pilots and she wasn't a pilot or a trooper or an officer. _What am I doing here anyway?_

They entered the turbolift at the end of the hallway. Jaina stood to the left with BB-9e wedged against her leg and the wall. The droid occasionally tilted its head, peering around her. Ren caught its glance.

"You should've left the droid in the room."

"My droid goes wherever I go." The defensive edge held bite to it. Jaina glared, slightly infuriated with his blank look. "At least, tell me where we're going."

The doors opened and he gestured mockingly into a familiar corridor. She felt immediately stupid not remembering the starship's layout. This was the area belonging to the training hall and shooting range. Unlike the newer Star Destroyers, the Tarkin had them separated into long open galleries.

Jaina walked out first, her feet drawn to the door of the shooting range. "Not blaster practice." Ren muttered passing behind her; she flushed, embarrassed.

"Well, it's not like I can read your mind."

He had stopped in front of the door to the training hall, waiting. Behind the door, she could feel two Force signatures. They were dark siders, male and female, they were close to her age, but there was imbalance in them.

 _Vader training the Inquisitors, Force adepts showing off their light saber combat skills_. She relived it in a flash.

They were waiting for her, the mismatched pair. The male was of medium height, muscular beneath his form fitting leather vest over a long sleeve heat reflective shirt over trousers and combat boots. He had a narrow saber hilt, reminiscent of light foils from antiquity. The most fearsome aspect of him was the helmet that hid his discernible features.

The woman was heavier with well-defined muscles. She wore a long halter style top over trousers and sleeves up to the shoulder cap exposing silvers of dark skin. Her hair was plaited into a thick shining braid down her back. Curiously, she utilized a dual hilted saber. Jaina felt her heart begin pounding.

"These are two of my Knights of Ren. Soramar." The male indicated a slight nod. "Saskia." The female observed her through the narrow visor of the helmet.

"Begin."

The hum of saber blades spliced the sudden silence.

…

 _Where was that grace, that skill?_

Ren watched Jaina Ionone stand there between the two knights, unarmed. She didn't run for the wall rack or summon anything to her. She gauged them nervously and he thought, like she didn't understand what was going on. She was like a different person. He knew she had slain the remaining guards; she had killed Snoke mercilessly within the Supremacy.

He had seen her Form II display.

She had mesmerized him with her intricate dance.

 _Why was she just standing there?_

…

 _What is this?_

 _Vader training the Inquisitors came to mind_. She vividly remembered the clash of sabers, the sparks that flew from blades bouncing off of one another. Jaina swung aside narrowly evading Soramar's charge. He had a heavy strike, putting a lot of strength behind his hacking swings. Saskia had ignited only one blade and twirled the blade in an acrobatic display designed to intimidate her.

She saw the weaknesses between them.

Saskia always used her right hand which meant that the left was weak. Soramar fought with his left using his wrist twists and turns to manipulate the blade. Jaina risked a glance at BB-9e. The droid looked at her then swiveled meaningfully to Ren.

 _His saber._

She reached out for it the way she had reached for the guard's throat, unrelenting. The hilt flew forward, slapping her palm violently. He glanced from her to the droid, a slight furrow in his brow. Jaina twisted out of the way, her sudden kick catching Saskia's thigh.

She thumbed the switch, realizing how heavy the hilt actually was. _Kriff…there was no way she was using it one handed_. The blade sizzled and popped, the beam wavering with sparks flying against the floor, dripping down the length of the hilt from the shunts burning her hands.

 _Oh, well, better than nothing maybe_.

She countered Soramar's parry, riposting in a wide upward cut that forced him into defense. Jaina whirled around, sensing movement - Saskia bore down on her with a high swing, the blade arcing up from behind her in a move designed to split the head of an enemy.

She stopped thinking.

She was aware of her breaths, her rapidly beating heart- gripping the hilt; she deflected upward, the edge of the blade smelting the metal of the knight's helmet, shearing through it to the crown of her hair. Jaina released one hand, swiping outward. Soramar expected the Force to hit him, a bodily punch or to go flying backward - instead, the hilt of his saber trembled and deactivated in the midst of his charge. The moment was over. Saskia stumbled back, shakily reaching up to touch the split metal halves, throwing them from her.

Her face was young still, a rounded cheek, dark brown eyes and pert nose. A tiny split cut through her chin, the slightest burn from the saber scarred her. Jaina powered off the blade, her hand trembling from holding it aloft.

"It's over."

Saskia bared her teeth, holding her aggressive stance.

"It's done."

Soramar dropped his offense, returning the hilt to his belt; Saskia glanced across the room and reluctantly deactivated the dual hilt. Jaina walked across the room, returning the saber to Ren. BB-9e rolled around him, still maintaining distance between them. _I have no place here_. _I am only a pilot. Strip away everything I've ever been and that's all you'll ever find_. "I'm sorry," she offered with the same tone of voice she might've used in apologizing for arriving late for flight duty.

He stopped her in the corridor.

"Wait. There's something I want to show you."

…

The massive shadow of the Star Dreadnought drifted above the smaller Star Destroyer. Jaina stood by the viewport panel, her arms folded over her breast. Ren sat in one of the seats lining the belly of the shuttle, watching her. His scrutiny didn't bother her. She was used to being seen, but remaining anonymous. The heavy armor over the flight suit had obscured her body, without it, she was conscious of the curves of her chest, the thin lightweight cloth covering her arms. The lack of gloves exposed her small hands, thin fingers. She looked down at them occasionally slightly surprised the pale pink nails and slim digits belonged to her.

 _Was she attractive?_

She could see a faint afterimage of her face in the reinforced pane. She could feel her body, her skin remarkably cool in the temperature controlled craft. She hadn't worn a binder on her chest; she had forgotten to wear one since the flight suits had under clothing for just that purpose.

She tried smiling, wondering at the effect of her features _. How did she look in the training hall? Weak? Frightened? Did she make strange faces?_ Jaina let her face relax into impassivity as they came into the large bay of the Ravager.

Stormtroopers stood in formation, saluting Ren.

She walked behind him, glancing around. It was similar to the Supremacy in look and scale. Someone who she thought was the Captain detached from the colonel and subordinate class Stormtrooper legion. "Supreme Leader, Captain Farady wishes to know when we will be resuming our patrol." The man who spoke was thin, skin pallid from a life spent in space. When he smiled, she thought the look was ingratiating, the look of a weasel. _So this wasn't Farady._

Ren dismissed the man's words, gesturing with his hand. She didn't understand the power behind the gesture until the man backed away warily. _The Force! He didn't use it…he only threatened. Curious and curiouser._ Jaina flexed her own hand experimentally to see if she felt anything.

"Why was I banned from flying?"

They had entered a less populated stretch of the ship. Jaina saw white-coated officers in the company of black and silver BB units. BB-9e rolled with her, head swiveling occasionally, but refrained from commentary.

"I should think being blown up is detrimental to your health."

"I survived sixty-nine missions. Death can come at any time or any place."

Rather than answer her, Ren led her deeper into the ship, eventually slowing once they reached the quadrant where political prisoners were held. Jaina had heard of kings and queens from royal worlds held for ransom or for the signing of favorable treaties in the Empire's past in similar apartments.

"I want the map to Luke Skywalker."

He leaned close to her, hand hovering over her shoulder as if he was afraid to touch her. The extent of the ability he thought she had, he couldn't be certain it wouldn't be turned on him even now.

"Get it for me."

A slight whisper in her ear, his resonant tones dusting the wavy strands tucked behind the shell of her ear lobe. She exhaled sharply, affected by his proximity. The corridor was cold like a prison, but the interior was warm. _Who was behind the door?_

Ren input the code, unlocking the panel.

 _His mother. She knew it without a shadow of a doubt_.

The room once revealed to her, was large in size, spacious with a light color scheme as befitting the apartment of a former senator. A bed occupied a central platform with a chaise lounge in pale blue occupied by a grey-haired woman attired in a simple yet elegant dress. Jaina glanced over the woman who had been many things in her lifetime, now she was nothing.

"I don't know how to address you anymore."

 _Princess Leia._

 _Senator Organa._

 _General Organa._

"I have no army anymore, so whatever pleases Kylo Ren."

…

Leia thought of nothing and everything in the galaxy. She remembered Luke, his young face, his idealistic mind contrasted with the old man he had become. She didn't recognize him anymore, no one did. She didn't recognize herself, this old woman with the feisty heart of a young princess. _Why did she do it? To save them. What happened now? She was interrogated by a woman she didn't know or recognize. She supposed it was better than having her mind ripped open by the monster she had given birth to._

"General Organa." The woman said, testing the moniker. "Even defeated, you were still a commander of people." She sat down on the edge of the soft lounger, turned toward the wall. Leia was aware of her at the edge of her sight, slender yet strong. The woman had fine hands, delicate hands. Her eyes were downcast, a solemn blue. Leia had looked into many eyes, but she couldn't say she had Maz Kanata's ability.

"I never thought I would ever see you." The woman said. "I was sorry, you know."

"Who are you?"

The woman turned to look at her, face impassive. Leia had never seen anyone stare so blankly without passion, without life animating the clear eyes.

Kylo Ren looked at her as though he hated her, sometimes.

Hux loathed her.

Someone had taken this woman as a child and beaten the emotion from her. Whatever they had done to her hadn't faded. Finn was the closest thing she could compare her to, except Finn had a reason to live. Finn had lived for Rey and now he lived for Rose Tico. This woman was dead inside. Leia had begun to suspect she was a Force sensitive sent by Kylo to get inside her mind, but she felt nothing, not even a whisper of the _Force_ , only emptiness.

"TN-1063. A pilot of the First Order."

 _Well, her son had to have a reason for letting her into the prison cell._

"I am the one who exposed the Rebel Base on D'qar."

Leia thought she had heard wrong. She hesitated, lips parted then her mind cycled through each individual moment that had taken place until the moment of her capture.

 _It was too much to absorb_ \- she stood up and walked around, leaning heavily on the polished wood cane.

"I didn't do it for the First Order." She had slid her hand across the space on the lounge. "I…fired on the bridge of the Resistance Cruiser eliminating almost all of the Resistance high command."

Leia found she couldn't speak, returning to her seat.

 _You, poor, poor child._

"Do you know what you've done?" The horror of it hushed the normal brusqueness of Leia's speaking voice.

"I don't think I do."

Leia's look softened into pity; she gently covered the back of the pilot's hand -

…

She saw something - a room, dimly lit. She saw people who were dead, who were living. She saw an astromech blue and silver familiar from Kylo Ren's memories.

 _"Artoo."_

She saw the orange and white BB unit.

 _"Beebee-ate."_

She saw Rey, alive.

 _The map of stars showed the way._

Jaina started to pull back, hesitating.

There was something else. Organa was always thinking of Ben Solo, the dead boy. _The lost boy. What a cruel irony this life is_ , Jaina reflected in the part of her mind that processed rational thought. _Leia and her mother had always thought of the children they had abandoned._

"You have such sympathy for other lost children when you sent away your own." She could see it, snapshots of a life that could've been. Stolen moments when Organa consoled a small boy's nightmares. Little Ben Solo following his father around, playing with gold dice, telling everyone he was going to be a pilot someday like his father. "You're always trying to fill the void in you. First, with Dameron, then with Rey. But, Rey's gone and Dameron is far away." She felt Organa trying to pull away from her. "You look for him everywhere, but all you see are facsimiles of Ben Solo. You never once saw the boy who needed you. You only saw what Ben Solo could never be."

 _Ah, Luke…she felt Luke's presence in his sister. She saw Skywalker in their apartment, talking to Leia_. She saw _Ben being held as a little boy, grasping the pendant around his uncle's neck…the red crystal - the other half_. Leia ripped her hand away, rising to her feet. " _What_ are you?"

Instead of answering, Jaina averted her face and walked out of the room.

…

"Pull up a map of the unknown regions."

The holographic map expanded from the sensor. Jaina glanced it over, her eyes searching for the planet she had seen in the memory of the Resistance Base.

"There."

Farady had joined them on the bridge. He was a spare man, thin and sour-featured as if something permanently unpleasant was beneath his large nose. "It'll take us a day to get there on our current hyperdrive, maybe longer. What is that place?"

"Ahch-To. Skywalker was in search of the Jedi Order's origins. That was his final destination."

"How do you know that?" The Captain glanced her over, sneering. " _Who_ are you?"

"Does it matter?" She studied the old starmap from the Empire's records.

"I should think so. You're on my bridge, presuming to command my officers -"

"Captain Farady."

The man stiffened, his complexion turning the color of soured blue milk. "With all due respect, Supreme Leader, this woman is a nobody."

"I'm a former pilot of the Finalizer, who was the only survivor of the Battle of Hosnian Prime."

"The war is over," Farady said unpleasantly. "Skirmishes during the war account for nothing."

Jaina's eyes flickered to him; she felt a frisson from her fingertips, a slight electrical charge reminiscent of the Force. It was true, the war was over. Why couldn't she make herself believe it?

"If you think you can find Skywalker faster, go ahead." BB-9e rotated around her, unseen, extending a small extensor arm crackling with internal electricity. Farady jumped from the sudden jolt applied to his leg.

" _What the_ \- droid!"

Ren discreetly rolled his eyes.

…

"What did my mother say to you?"

"She asked me what I was."

Away from the bridge, she could still see the map of stars clearly. She knew it was impossible to hide that she knew the truth about Organa.

"What happened in Snoke's throne room?"

"I don't remember."

It could be worse. She could be strapped down in an interrogation device, bloodied and beaten. Jaina had buried those memories deep down, hiding them. Ren had found her in the training room, he held something out now. The cylindrical hilt patterned gold with its inscription in an ancient tongue.

 _The will of the stars_.

"You had it with you, why?"

Her hand shot out of its own accord, summoning the weapon to her. Kylo felt it fly from his grasp, zooming across the room unerringly into Jaina's outstretched hand. Her fingers closed around the hilt, depressing the switch. For a fleeting moment he was reminded of Rey challenging him in the forest.

 _Then, nothing._

 _The blade was dead._

 _Why did she expect it to work?_

Jaina's eyes flickered to the useless hilt, then accusingly to his face. _That was the way of the Sith. He was not one of them_.

"That is a Sith blade."

"It belonged to Emperor Vitiate. He had many, but this one remained in the tomb his children erected in secret."

"Did you see that?"

Jaina stroked the worn design. "I'm not sure." She sounded almost confused.

"How did you kill Snoke?" They were alone except for the droid. No one else could know the truth. No one would believe it. _A pilot slaying the leader of the First Order and four of his elite guards?_ He gauged her carefully, restraining from an outright probe of her mind. She might've taken it as a sign of hostility.

"I beheaded him."

"He used Force lightning on you." Ren had seen the extent of her internal injuries. He had been the recipient of it several times in the past with the same pattern repeating itself. Most of the time, he had been able to keep his emotions in check, knowing that an outburst or direct challenge put him on the receiving end of _Force-generated lightning_.

"There are ways to either use or compartmentalize your physical pain. It can be quite useful in battle."

 _Yes, that was good. She was aware of certain aspects of the dark side_. _She wasn't_...shying away from them, _rejecting them the way Rey did._ He noticed the difference, equally pleased and disappointed at the same time. "I am going to show you the ways of the Force."

"I told you before. I'm only a pilot."

"Stop hiding it. I already know you're a Force sensitive. I felt it before during the training exercise and again when you touched me."

She colored, averting her face. "But, you didn't want to believe it."

"No. How could I? Someone who was right there all along." She sensed embarrassment in his admittance. Ren had been searching for a Force sensitive to become his equal in the darkness. He had thought Rey could be turned. Jaina was never certain that had been the girl's intent for charging into the Supremacy only days after being held captive on Starkiller.

That in itself was something she didn't understand. Rey had gone of her own free will, because she believed in something or someone. Ren had affected her as well. Jaina observed him askance, how did he feel about Rey? The girl was gone through the airlock with the rest of the recovered bodies.

"What made you so certain now?"

He looked at her in meaning, his stare direct. She had a flash of memory, the Force choke, grasping onto his tunic, showing him her memory. Ren had known what it was inside her the moment he saw it. The light of the sky, the dark coldness of the lake. "Light and darkness inside you," he advanced slowly toward her. "You go to the darkness when you use the Force. I felt it on the Supremacy…you killed Snoke."

"Among others." She hadn't hesitated or stopped herself. She had used her physical pain as strength, but through it all she had tempered herself with sympathy for Snoke's victims. "Rey was full of light, even I felt it. You thought by turning her you could control her…that's why you went for her…you thought one day I would turn on you, but since Rey's gone, that's why you want me now." Jaina exhaled, releasing the subtle hurt she felt glimpsing his surprise in her knowing the truth.

 _Of course, he didn't want her for anything else…only for her power, for her potential._ Disgusted, she turned away from him. "Remember, Ren, the rule of two."

"That was the Sith! The Sith are dead!" He burst out, grasping her by the upper arms. "And you will let me teach you!" Spit flew and struck her cheek. "I see so much potential in you, Jaina. You are special, if only you could see it."

"Not this way, Ren. Not like this."

 _I killed for you._

She shook her head back and forth. "I can't."

 _I would die for you._

Ren stilled as if struck by the emotions he felt in her. "Let go of your feelings - they have no future."

She couldn't speak.

"That's what holds you back. Let go." Ren said almost gently. "You know what you have to do. Those feelings are a bother, a nuisance."

"My feelings…are a nuisance?" Jaina felt the edges where the _Force_ lay dormant inside her. It was always there, waking or sleeping. She had felt it since she was a little girl and been comforted knowing it was there with her. "I saved you." She pressed her hands against his chest, shoving hard. "I saw what was going to happen- I know Snoke ordered the guards to kill you. Everything I did for you was because of those feelings. Because I give a damn whether you live or die!"

"I'm asking you to join me…but, not in that way. What is love? Love fades. It dies. Let go of your little dreams." Through his outstretched fingers he could see the color of her emotions flash through her _Force_ signature subsiding into a blue of an ocean. Her anger had dissipated into sadness.

Jaina backed away from him, disappointment sharp in her voice. "Power will never be enough for me. You could hold the galaxy in those hands, but there is nothing you can tempt me with." _I want nothing except for you_. "Just you."

"I had hoped you would be present when I destroy the last Jedi, but I see you have to stay behind."

 _Skywalker…,_

He exhaled and the action was almost painful. The pain was weakening; he couldn't draw strength from it. "Saskia Ren will resume your training. If you fail to master the seven light saber forms, you'll be considered dispensable."

Jaina accepted the words gracefully without the tears he had thought she would shed. Lesser forms of life would've begged or pleaded for their lives. Anyone less than her would've accepted his offer of tutelage, hungering for power and influence. But, she stood resolute, content with her sky of light and lake of darkness. Jaina had understood something so fundamentally simple about the Force without training. Again he vividly recalled her Form II exercise he had come upon. _What was that? Where was all her skill now?_ _Who trained her? Now, he doubted she would ever tell him_. He trusted his own judgment in so far as he suspected her of hiding knowledge from him as a form of spite.

"I'm not trying to spite you or be difficult." Jaina said suddenly as if reading his thoughts. "I'm not afraid of dying or becoming dispensable as you put it."

"No?" He advanced toward her, "false bravery. You think I'll stop now." The hilt fit into his hand, weighted, heavy once ignited. The glow bathed their faces in a hellish light, sparks flew, scattering to the floor. The heat seared a line of sweat down her brow.

"I don't think you will. In fact I would never assume so." She lifted her hand, Ren expected to feel the _Force_ hit him; instead Jaina encircled his larger wrist with her small hand. "You didn't stop when Han Solo called you his son." Her eyes were deadened of compassion. Ren could see himself reflected in them, his reflection closer to her than he could ever be. "Rey called you a monster in the forest. You saw that look in her eyes, and felt ashamed. But, you don't know how to feel shame only anger."

Her hand moved over his clenched fingers, brushing the back of his glove to the black durasteel hilt, depressing the ignition.

"Who is it you didn't want to feel ashamed in front of?" _Who were you afraid for? Who did you see when you looked at Rey of Jakku?_ Jaina released his hand gently. "Who did you think of," _that elusive memory_ , "when you looked into Rey's eyes?"

"No one." But, he was lying even to himself. "I only saw her."

…

Jaina watched from the bridge as the Ravager jumped to light speed. BB-9e chirped in the silence she maintained. "What am I going to do now?" She asked, her voice coming out calmer than she felt. Inside, her emotions were in turmoil. Instead of answering the droid, she looked to her former commander.

"Now that those two pups are gone, we can resume our patrol." Duma took a datapad from Lieutenant Noventa, smirking.

"Where are they going?" She knew of course, but wanted it spoken aloud.

"Oh, wherever Ren's fancy takes them. I don't much care. They're gone for the time being so let's all just focus on keeping our sector under control." He sighed. "For as long as the First Order lasts."

"What do you…mean?"

"You were too young to remember the power struggles that went on after the Emperor's death. Vader was dead as well on the second Death Star so numerous warlords emerged in the absence of true leadership."

"It must've been terrible. My…father spoke of the disastrous Battle of Jakku that saw most of the Empire's fleet destroyed."

"It was after that mess that we were chased down by New Republic forces." Weariness flashed through the old man's eyes. "Admiral Sloane had sued for peace, then broke her word with them. It was all a ruse that created more bad blood when we were left alive at the end of the day."

"That was when Star-Snoke," she caught herself in time. "Snoke took over."

"Yes, through ruthless methods, he took control of the squabbling fleet. He made us strong, made us believe we were invincible such as in the case of General Hux. I knew his father," Duma's lip curled. "Without Brendol's restraining influence, the boy has run amok."

"Hux…has two sides. I've seen him show kindness, but I was there on Starkiller Base when they fired on the Republic." She hugged her torso closely. "I never knew anyone could be so horrifyingly cruel until that moment." She remembered Captain Salonga's joy, shivering.

"Vader was…something else. So were the Emperor's legions." Duma seemed to recollect himself. "Now that Snoke is dead, Ren will attempt to hold onto the reins of power. Everyone knows he is more child than man. I can't imagine that it will end well." It's as if we don't have a leader.

Coldness crawled down her spine. "What about us? Without the First Order…," she shook her head slightly. "I can't imagine life away from this." She gestured to the bridge, the stations with officers quietly working. "So many would have nothing and no place to go," she thought of the TIE pilots, the Stormtroopers taken from their parents as infants. Even those children being trained now as future Stormtroopers were in essence orphans. "What can they be thinking in destabilizing the First Order?"

"If we're not destroyed in their struggle, we'll rebuild and rise again." The Tarkin's commander patted her shoulder gently. "I'm sorry to sound so negative. You're young yet and I am old."

"It's okay, I…I would rather know and understand what's going around me then be blinded to it. Before, I just did what I was told without question. I thought I would live and die as a pilot." Something painful arose in her throat and she couldn't say more.

"You're not a pilot anymore, Jaina. At least according to Ren. You have a chance to find someone the way your mother would've wanted and leave this all behind."

…

 _He's going to Ahch -To._

 _My mother left more questions than answers._

"I know he's gone to kill Skywalker."

BB-9e rolled after her quick pace, chirping.

"I don't know why…he wants to kill the last Jedi. He thinks the Sith died with Vader, but he's wrong. He's always been wrong. The dark side is fed through emotion, but in some ways he has cut himself off of it. When I touched Leia's mind, I saw something else. Skywalker has the other half of this crystal."

 _He has some of the answers I need._

She found her old co in the pilots lounge.

"TN-1063…?"

"I need a TIE fighter." She knew she needed to focus, inject authority into her voice. "You will authorize a TIE fighter with a hyperdrive for my use. You will say nothing; you know nothing of my whereabouts." Jaina almost thought she needed to repeat herself, then his eyes glazed over.

"I will authorize a TIE fighter with a hyperdrive for you and say nothing about your whereabouts."

 _Mind tricks are convenient, makes me wish I had known about them before_. BB-9e rotated after her when she ran to change into a flight suit. "This feels like the good old days." She tossed her shirt and trousers into a pile, changing her laced up boots for a pair of heavy gravity boots. She remembered to tuck the old blaster into the holster at her hip and switch on the air filtration system. Leaving her old clothes in a storage room, she ran for the hangar slowing her pace once she fell in beside a pair of pilots. Jaina watched a squadron of TIEs dock while a new set prepped for their fly over.

Dock D2 held a set of elite fighters.

Once the wrist comm flashed with the number, she took the lift up to the fighter cleared for flight. Once in the cockpit, she made sure the comm unit was off. BB-9e was strapped into the second seat of the fighter, chirping worriedly.

"If we're caught, we're dead."

 _If he finds out, we're dead._

She had one chance to slip past the Ravager; it was good to finally have a mission where the uncertainties ended on the same note.

"Here's to the seventieth mission."

…

The blue streaks of hyperspace bathed the Star Dreadnought. Although slower than the lighter resurgent-class starships, he had chosen the Ravager as his flagship much to the chagrin of Captain Farady. The man showed little emotion like a true officer of the First Order; but Ren could read his dislike dwelling beneath the surface. Farady was observing the holographic representation of the star map that contained their projected destination. General Hux offered little commentary, bored with the proceedings. He had given up using snark for a while, knowing it got him nothing but _the Hand of the Force_ around his throat. Instead, Hux had retreated somewhere else in mind.

Hux was thinking about her. Ren could feel it. He caught glimpses of the ginger-haired general's thoughts. _Her lips when she smiled, touching her hand in the medbay- he had never thought holding someone's hand could be so wonderful. The look in her eyes when she had been told she wasn't going to be a pilot anymore_ ; Hux had never known sympathy until that moment. They were all small nuances he had missed.

 _"Please!"_

 _Please, what?_

He had never felt the same until her look watching the droid - _an artificial lifeform_ \- ripped apart in front of her. Her pain and agony were fascinating. Ren had felt a rare sort of vicious pleasure watching her hurt. Ren likened it to an almost sexual release, the same sensation of twisting the saber into a victim's body.

 _"Ah, you think you do."_

 _You think you mean something to me._

 _He was brutal in his honesty. That's all it ever was. TN-1063 had continued cleaning his wounds, her touch as gentle as a mother's belying her words. "I think you're the one who wants someone to notice them." He hadn't been able to define it then, the feeling that somewhere, sometime in the past, he had looked into those eyes. They had been staring into his with that same look in them, not of hurt, nor of sympathy for his wounded soul but as if they could peel down to the bone and see into his heart._

 _"You're so lonely…you want the darkness to hold you."_

Rey had touched upon his fear of failing Darth Vader's memory; TN-1063 had split him down to the soul. Masochist he was, he had been drawn to the enigma she presented. Rey had felt malleable; he had thought he could shape her into something useful whereas the pilot had something he was almost afraid of.

 _She knows me._

 _She knows me inside out and doesn't even realize it._

Then, she had saved him. The pilot who was nothing but a tool or a living, breathing thing they could use, had killed his Master and freed him.

 _Why?_

Not for glory or honor or anything but for something as pitiful as love.

He had felt it when he had gripped her arms, held her at arm's length, staring into her eyes. He hadn't expected anything - fury, maybe surprise or some other emotion then what he had seen laid bare in her mind.

 _She loves me._

Ren was stunned.

Jaina had looked at the floor in misery as if she had seen it and heard it all already.

 _"Let go of your feelings - they have no future."_

He was offering her everything, a place beside him, the galaxy, the power to unleash the dark side in her -

 _Nothing can tempt me._

 _"Just you."_

He was nearly undone by those words. Jaina didn't want him. She couldn't want him. Rey had wanted an ideal, someone in the light. Ren could acknowledge it now that they were bound to break before they had begun.

" _Who did you see when you looked into Rey's eyes?"_

 _Someone else who he couldn't remember anymore._

As if he had summoned her presence by thinking of her, he felt something in _the Force_. _A feeling of surprise, recognition, vindication._ He could almost see her through the blurry edges of his vision; the armored flight suit, the light saber clipped to her belt. She shouldn't have been wearing the uniform of a pilot. Jaina stood on the sloping edge of a mountainous path, seemingly unaware of him.

"There is equal light in me." The words were a thought that gave her hope. Then, she was gone.

"Has the Tarkin moved from its current position?"

Farady looked up from the datapad he was perusing. "I wouldn't think so. Commander Duma hasn't any orders to move out of his patrol."

"Why? Something happen?"

"No, I felt something-"

"There's only one person aboard the Tarkin who you could possibly feel." Hux said nastily, striding slowly up the narrow footpath between the pits. Farady edged across the room, likely concerned with getting caught up in something that wasn't his business.

"Are you sure you're not becoming infatuated with her?" Envy twisted Hux's words. Ren could feel it suddenly, the man's own feelings were on display hidden behind his stiff upper lip and bearing. Rather than answer, he gestured dismissively with his hand, sending the general skating backward across the floor. Ren stalked past the heap the general made. "Send me a comm when we reach the planet."

"We're almost there." Farady said hesitantly. "But, very good, sir."

…

She set the fighter down on a plateau of rock. "Stay here." She ordered, unstrapping her belts. BB-9e protested immediately. "No! It'll take too long!" She snapped, popping the hatch. Grasping the rungs of the ladder, she clambered up rung by rung out into the blue sky of the island world. A slight breeze picked up the briny scent of the sea. Jaina jumped from the cockpit ball to the ground, springing to her feet. A rocky path stretched ahead between a verdant outgrowth of sedge grass. Small brown and white alien birds fluttered overhead. "This place looks deserted." She started up the path, passing by someone small. Jaina came to a stop, heart pounding.

"It's you." Slowly, she turned to face the apparition. The tiny green alien sat on a smooth boulder, clasping a gnarled stick as a cane. A faint blue glow surrounded him. "He's here, then. Skywalker, right?"

"Here for the wrong reasons, you are."

"I'm here for answers." She removed her helmet, tucking it beneath her arm. "Ren is coming."

"You told him where and now you're here. You betrayed every person you come into contact with."

"I only betrayed Ren." Jaina swallowed thickly. "I told Hux where the Resistance Base was and now I've disobeyed his orders to stay put. I'm doing this because I want to do it, not because anyone told me to come here."

"Your emotions are guiding you, Jaina. You need a teacher."

"I have one."

"Ren wants you to become an instrument of the dark side when in you, there is equal light."

A flock of the strange birds descended. Their sharp cries distracted her. When she looked back, he was gone.

 _There is equal light in me_ …no one had ever said that to her before. She started running up the path.

…

The crystal hung from a tongue of tarnished silver above a compass of stars. Jaina had seen nothing and no one only silence and a strange reverent peace she had felt through someone else within the Jedi Temple on Coruscant before its destruction.

She plucked the pendant free, her gloved fingers sliding through the worn chain. Two shadows played against the opposite wall and she turned quickly as the man ignited a green blade. The hum of the saber cut off her next words.

"Skywalker!?"

The man had light brown hair fading into grey trimmed ragged around his ears. A thick beard framed his sullen mouth. He wore the beige robes of a Jedi Master, yet he was not the legend come to life. He was only the man Kylo Ren hated and sought to destroy.

"Who are you?"

His blue eyes darted over her uniform, lingering on the black star pauldron of the First Order on her shoulder.

"No wait! I'm here to help you! Ren is coming in a Star Dreadnought!" Even as she spoke, she ducked beneath his wild swing. Jaina wove around him, evading as she dashed out into the brisk air. Skywalker followed, tripping her with a Force push. She collided heavily onto her left shoulder, wincing from the immediate rush of pain. Skywalker snatched the blaster from her hip with the Force, sending it flying across the open space between the domed huts.

"Could you wait!?" She screeched, rolling out of the way of his lunge. The green blade struck the ground inches from piercing through her side. Jaina glared, pushing up to her feet. Skywalker corrected his swing, advancing slowly toward her. The wall of sea wind buffeted her back overlooking the promontory of stone ending in a steep drop.

Jaina reached for the hilt clipped to her belt. When he came at her, she ignited the blade. Crimson flared between them.

"A red light saber?"

"I know how it looks -" she parried his wide swing. "But, you have to believe me." Luke kicked out as he completed his turn, catching her in the abdomen. Jaina staggered back, maintaining her defensive stance. Luke moved slower than the opponents she had faced, Saskia and Soramar came to mind. Yet the knights lacked his skill.

"Stubborn-"

Jaina's feet lifted off the ground at the same moment Luke's did. "What the -" then they flew apart, sliding across the ground. He grunted from an undignified heap of robes while she nursed a bruised hip.

"-you both are." The little green alien relaxed his _Force_ gesture, releasing them.

"M-Master Yoda!" Luke blinked at the apparition.

"What did I tell you before with Rey? Always looking toward the horizon and yet you missed that." Yoda pointed with his gamma stick to the light of the twin suns, an ominous shape hovered there visible through the spatial atmosphere.

 _Oh, no…_

"It's the Dreadnought!" Jaina mentally tallied up the remaining time until their auto cannons were fully charged. "C'mon!" She scrambled to grab Luke by the arm. "We have to go now!"

"Go."

He looked between them, this stranger he hardly knew and his former Master. "What…but, the porgs and-"

"Leave them! There's no time!"

Luke pushed her off, summoning his light saber to his hand. Jaina sent one more glance at him, then backed up and ran for the path.

"So he's finally come to end it?" _Ben Solo was there above in the starship, observing the world of Ahch-To._

"Luke! Talk later if you must, go now!"

He ran back into the stone hut, grabbing the compass and his outer cloak, then he headed for the path, injecting the Force into his legs to run faster. Down the steep path to the rocks and the edge where the sea spray lashed the wings of the TIE fighter.

"BB-9e, start it up! Hurry!" He spotted the woman struggling to climb up onto the cockpit ball. Her boots were slick with water and she slipped off the wing structure, catching herself by a hand hold. _Really?_ He thought and sent a push from the _Force_.

"Hey!" She pulled herself up with a glare.

 _No time_ , he sent her a look.

Annoyed, she clambered down inside while he Force-leapt to the top and jumped down after her. A spherical black and silver BB unit sat in the pilot's seat, manipulating the controls with tensile arms. The droid's head swiveled around, beeping worriedly.

"Red? Kriff!" She scooped the droid up, glimpsing the backwash of red filling the sky. "They're firing on us!"

"I hope you have a plan." Luke calmly closed the exterior hatch from the side panel, dropping into the second seat. The pilot yanked the straps over herself and the droid, not answering. The craft shuddered upward off the plateau into the sky. The pilot veered toward the left beginning the sequence for light speed.

"TIE fighters usually don't have hyperdrives."

"Well, this one does." She felt sweat break out on her brow. She had forgotten her helmet down below. Switching on the interior life support, she anxiously watched the system engage for the jump. "Cut yourself off from the Force." The moment when they cleared the planet's surface into open space, she could see the Dreadnought on her monitor, it was far behind them, its auto cannons likely priming for another round.

Jaina couldn't feel the explosion below, but it could be seen from their position. Luke glanced at her without comment. She wasn't sure if he had listened or not. "Hold on." She muttered, punching it. The blue streaks of the hyperspace lane shuddered past them. She rested one arm on the lower half of the droid.

 _They had made it._

"Who are you?"

 _Now came the difficult part, the questions._

…

Captain Farady stood beside the targeting screen console, listening to the ravings of a lunatic. The Supreme Leader stood in front of the massive viewport window affording the best possible vantage point of the blue-green planet below. Farady had listened to his rant during the jump to the planet's previously unknown position. The Dreadnought's engines were slower than a resurgent-class such as the Dauntless or the destroyed Finalizer.

"Sir! Shall we prime the cannons one more time?" They looked to Farady for orders. General Hux had given up on directing anything on the bridge.

Ren's childish shouts for _more_ had stricken the crew into mortified silence. Sweat slicked Ren's face; his eyes bulged wildly as he turned toward the Captain. Farady began to wish he had been posted on an aging starship or anywhere else than with an unstable man-child. "Do it."

Across the room, Hux glanced over Mitaka's shoulder. He had been allowed to keep a skeleton crew of loyal officers from his former starship with him. So far Farady hadn't taken well to having his Dreadnought compromised by Ren's foolishness. Hux's thoughts drifted, he was bored. He wished he had invented a reason for staying onboard the Tarkin, conversation with Jaina was much more interesting than being stuck with Ren in the middle of nowhere. Mitaka leaned closer to the screen, displaying a pattern of the system they were in. Ahch-To was to the left, prominently displayed on a lower subset of maps. "Sir, there's an unknown craft the size and shape of a TIE fighter…um to the far left."

Hux blinked; he hadn't been expecting that. Shifting toward the viewport windows in a feinted stroll, he noticed the tiny speck that did indeed look like one of their fighters prepping for light speed. Returning to Mitaka's station, the Lieutenant tentatively asked, "should we…?"

"No."

"But, sir-"

"It was nothing but passing debris." The TIE fighter disappeared off their screens.

Ren hadn't noticed a thing.

…

"My name is Jaina Ionone."

"That tells me nothing. I don't make a habit of learning the names of First Order pilots."

She had strapped the droid into the crash-landing gear.

"I'm not a pilot anymore - and I don't have the time to explain my life story to you." She snapped, checking their position. "On the mineral planet Crait, General Organa surrendered to Kylo Ren."

He had known that much.

"The others escaped somehow. I'm not in possession of the full details."

"Anything else I should know?"

She exhaled softly, her gaze drifting to the hyperspace lane beyond the red tiled window. "Snoke is dead, I killed him."

 _Now that was…unexpected._

"How?"

He felt her bemusement. "I'm not even sure how. Ren has told the rest that the scavenger girl, Rey, and a few others killed him. Rey's dead as well. She was Snoke's last victim."

Luke lapsed into painful silence. The sarcasm he had worn as armor to protect himself fell away. Rey was gone. The light she had inspired him to believe in had faded into the darkness of the galaxy.

"I'm sorry," the pilot offered.

"But, you didn't simply have a change of heart. You're no rebel." He endeavored to get back to the real reason why someone had risked their life to bring him back. Rey had been searching for a father, a mentor to guide her. This woman…was unreadable. Luke could see the sharp edge of her profile, the slender slash of her brow framing a blue eye, the thin line of her nose and lips. Her hair was cropped boyishly short with longer strands framing the sides of her face.

Rey was a girl-child, still uncertain of her place; what he saw now before him, was a woman with the confidence to avoid a Star Dreadnought for reasons all her own.

"What do you want from me?"

"Answers." She fumbled with the collar of her flight suit, fingers tangling in a chain. "Someone close to me gave me this pendant." She handed it to him. Luke knew what it was before his bionic hand closed around it. "It's a kyber crystal or was…from a light saber. She told me that when it was reunited with its other half, it would produce a red blade."

"This crystal belonged to a Sith Lord."

"Then, _you do_ know who it belonged to."

Luke turned it over in his hands; the droid was watching him intently. "I might…,"

"She said it belonged to my grandfather. I was hoping you could tell me who he was."

"That light saber you have," Luke decided to deflect her question with one of his own. "Where did you get it?"

"Is it important? Look that crystal was given to me by my mother. She was killed by the rebels. I…I want to know more about my past now that she's gone."

Luke leaned back in the seat, closing his eyes briefly. "I-I see. This crystal belonged to Jade. It was…from his collection."

"Why did you have the other half?" Jaina asked suspiciously.

"We tangled once on a mission long ago. I kept the broken saber crystal. I'm sorry that I didn't have more answers for you."

"You're lying to me." Jaina said after a moment. "Loress wasn't a Sith Lord and I never told you my mother's maiden name. Who did that crystal belong to?"

"Loress Jade. The Inquisitors were dark siders who were close to being the new Sith if you want to be technical!" Luke snapped, glaring. "Jade was a flashy bastard - I never forgot his light saber after he slew an entire family of Zabrak down to one child. Is that so hard to believe? Jade was a monster in the guise of a human."

Jaina shot him a glare, her lips pressing tightly together. Someone else had made that same look whenever she was displeased or angry. "Well, I won't disagree. Jade was a monster, but there are many still living including Kylo Ren. He has made himself the new Supreme Leader and plans on ruling the galaxy."

"That boy always had foolish dreams of grandeur." Luke discreetly rolled his eyes, fingertips rubbing circles on the crystalline plains of the kyber fragment. "Were those all your questions?" He had reverted to sarcasm again. "Or would you like to hear how I blew up the first Death Star? That one always got the kids in giggles."

" _Please_." Jaina muttered, turning back to her monitors. "Stop or I'll eject the galaxy's living legend into hyperspace."

Luke could respect her a little for that. She wasn't like Rey with her load of hero worship.

"There is one other thing, did you know Mara Jade?"

His fingers closed over the crystal.

"No…who was she?"

"She was my mother before the Empire was destroyed."

…

Time lapsed before they exited hyperspace. Jaina checked their coordinates again, setting in for a southerly entrance point.

"Where's our destination?"

"Corellia." _Leia had tried to keep the possible hideout of the Resistance from her_. "Han Solo was from Corellia so they believed they would receive shelter here." Jaina had seen it all in a flash, the conscious stream of memories flowing like a geyser into her mind.

"The Resistance…,"

"The dozen or so odd people left, yes."

"I have nothing to do with them."

"I don't care. I need some place to dump you off and here is as good a place as any." Jaina shrugged, trying to hide her disappointment. She had hoped to find answers with Skywalker now she was forced to admit he was only a broken, embittered old man. She didn't understand why Kylo had been obsessed with him.

"You fly well."

"Thanks. It comes from having flown all my life. Weren't you a pilot once?"

"What, your mother fed you Imperialist propaganda on a spoon?" He had heard all kinds of variations of his adventures all false of course. Nothing had touched the truth of the farm boy from Tatooine.

"No, actually. She told me stories about you. How you survived a trash compactor aboard the Death Star, how General Organa once called you short for a Stormtrooper when you had gone to rescue her. You were attacked by a Wampa on Hoth and Han Solo rescued you during a snowstorm." They left hyperspace above a haze-filled planet. "My favorite story was always how you had redeemed Lord Vader. When all seemed lost, you retreated from the dark side and refused to kill him in front of Emperor Palpatine."

"Most of those…were wild tales indeed." Luke watched her approach the spatial atmosphere. "Don't tell me you believed them?"

"I don't know what to believe anymore." She noticed the presence of armored transports. "Great, looks like I'll blend in just fine here." She flew in low over the city skyline, looking for a place to land. Jaina finally chose a flat roof, alighting on the gravel spit. "There's a backpack of survival gear in the mesh under the seat. It's got food capsules and water for seven days."

"That's awfully generous of you."

"Yeah, I'd like to think you'll come away with this knowing we're not all monsters like Kylo." Luke unstrapped himself from the seat and reached under, finding the bag.

She had turned to watch him, one hand resting on the gear ready to fly off once he was clear. "What happened to Lord Vader's light saber?"

"Do you think I really know?" Luke stood, straightening. He had put the few things he had taken from Ahch-To inside the bag. "It blew up on the second Death Star along with Vader's body."

"Vader's helmet survived. Kylo Ren has it."

Luke had a passing memory of Ben Solo; the boy's lank black hair grown long to try and hide his large ears, his long face, his awkwardness so unlike his mother's poise and Han's charm. Luke forced the memory away. Ben had looked for something to idolize, something to give him pride and he had found it. Luke figured Ben probably talked to the helmet every night, imagining the emanations in the dark side was Darth Vader speaking when it was only his own loneliness he felt.

"I'm not going to ask how you know that."

Jaina wasn't smiling, she ignored his attempt at humor. "Hurry before they come around this way."

Luke nodded, moving toward the ladderway.

"My crystal?"

For a moment, he hesitated, then his hand opened up and he placed the crystal in the palm of her gloved hand. "It was my grandfather's after all. It's too bad the other half stayed on Ahch-To." Jaina watched his face carefully, but could detect nothing with her connection to the _Force_ severed.

Jaina waited until Luke had cleared the roof, disappearing over the edge before she began the flight sequence. She had reprogrammed their flight path back to the western reaches, settling back in her seat as the fighter made the jump to light speed. BB-9e trilled a question in binary as she slipped her hand into her pocket finding both halves of the kyber crystal.

"He's a liar and not a very good one."

…

 _So, that's my assignment now_.

Saskia had reviewed the message sent to her personal comm. It had been brief yet explicit in meaning. _Bring Ionone over to the dark side_. _Make her an ally, a Knight of Ren_. "Destroy the light in her." She had sighed over Ren's choice of phrasing. _One could never truly dissever themselves from the light side unless through decades of immersion in the dark side_...Saskia pushed those thoughts away, stretching her arms up over her head. _The Force had seemed weak in the woman_. She wasn't certain why Ren was suddenly interested in one of the TIE pilots. Briefly, she recalled her and Soramar's conversation after Ren had left for the Ravager.

 _"What do you know of the Jade family?"_

 _"Nothing much, why?"_

 _"That woman was one of them."_

 _She had nodded slightly, then shrugged. She was bored. The Dauntless had sat in the airspace above the aquamarine waters of Terramaire for years within sight of the rich resort world orbited by its mining colonies. She had been stationed there for four, living, breathing the same recycled air, given the sterile comforts her station entitled her to. She was there to keep Radford in line. Saskia refrained from voicing her displeasure aloud. Her shuttle, Starfall, had crossed the distance from the outer rim sector to the western reaches in a day. She had traveled a day for this, for Ren's summons. For nothing._

 _"Ionone is weak."_

 _Soramar had removed his helmet, polishing the face-plate with a rough cloth furnished by the protocol droid. "She was holding back. I could sense it...she doesn't want Master Ren to know her limits."_

 _"She doesn't seem strong at all to me. You're full of it." She had pulled her gloves off, studying her tiny pointed nails. "The woman should know what's at stake here. If she can't be useful, then she has to die." The other Force sensitives had failed them. They had died with little fuss. For a while, her own conscience had bothered her. They were children, small and afraid. They couldn't understand the thing inside them, their control over the Force fuzzy and uncertain. She had stopped caring after the fifth one. It was easier and better to go along with madness._

 _"I am going to tell you something that Master Ren does not know. It is preferable that it remains here between us." Soramar had light eyes, they unnerved Saskia the few times they had been on mission before._

 _"What is it?" She watched him from the corner of her eye, setting the helmet down._

 _The knight considered the slim hilt of the light foil with its delicate beauty. "Ionone's mother was the former Emperor's Hand. Mara Jade was a powerful Force sensitive assassin who failed multiple times to kill Master Skywalker. I wasn't aware she was part of the fleet until Master Ren apprised me of her identity taken after the Empire's fall."_

 _"I don't see -" she did, gradually. "You're suggesting she could have some importance if she turned out to be stronger than initially assumed."_

 _"Yes, there is also some doubts I have as to her parentage. Mara Jade was her mother, but her father couldn't have been Pol Ionone."_ Soramar had left the conversation on that note, leaving to answer the message via commlink sent by the Executrix's Captain. Saskia wondered whether or not Soramar had been disappointed the future of Ionone's training had been taken from him.

 _..._

 _I don't know what he wants._

"I'm only a pilot."

BB-9e rolled a safe distance away, watching her perform a set of swings with an electroblade. _For so long, I wanted him to notice me and now that he has, I don't know what to do with his attention_. She had managed to return to the Star Destroyer with little incident. A message sent by comm informed her that the knight, Saskia Ren, would be organizing a training routine for her. The message had been sent by an officer from the Star Destroyer Dauntless. Jaina had wondered at the impersonality of it all, certainly she had been underwhelming at best, knowing better than to use Form II against the two knights _. Form II's weakness was against multiple opponents_ , _someone had told her that once_.

"I can't give him what he needs." Jaina consciously repeated her footwork, slowing to match her arm movements. The flick of a wrist, the turn to deflect a glancing blow. She moved quietly through the pool of overhead light.

 _He doesn't love me._

 _I don't think he knows how to love someone or something. For a long time, he didn't even see me as a person._

The droid trilled in binary.

"I have to improve. I need to become better." She said, shaking her head. "You saw what happened earlier." She listened to the droid's complaint. "I know I'm not like them. I know, alright?"

She stilled, waiting for BB-9e to release the blaster droids. A vent across the room opened up, admitting a stream of five spherical machines. Jaina ignited the electroblade, falling into the stance for Soresu. She didn't know it was the stance for Form III, but it was familiar to her all the same.

They came at her all at once, orbiting in difficult to deflect circles. She grimaced, absorbing a hit to the upper arm. Twirling the electroblade, she punted one shot to the floor, catching the fourth droid that hovered close to her legs. BB-9e rotated out of their range, chirping a stream of suggestions.

"Use the Force…?" She felt the burn through her loose trousers. Jaina winced, swiping her hand out. "Well, it's worth a try." She flexed her hand open, visualizing a loose net that was part of her. Seizing the strands, she tightened them around three of the droids. Closing her hand in a fist, she set them hurtling into the wall in a shower of sparks and circuitry. The last one darted out of her range, firing on her back and shoulder.

"Kriff." Jaina spun around, hand outstretched. She caught the blaster bolt midair. Sweat broke out on her brow as she pushed it inch by inch aside. Her concentration wavered with the distant sound of a door opening somewhere. _The Force_ shifted around her fingertips, suddenly unable to grasp it, she panicked. The bolt flew forward striking her in the chest. Jaina gasped, staggering back. Her hand flew to the scorched fabric. BB-9e rolled to her feet, beeping. She felt the bruise forming, the skin enflamed.

"I don't need medical attention!"

The droid rolled backward at her sudden shout.

"Look, I can't go back to the way things were before." She felt sore and bruised all over; reminiscent of her crash-lands from memory. _Ren won't let me. He wants someone to stand with him on equal footing. I'm not that person_. "The best thing I can hope for is to survive." _Survive being put through the wringer as many times as it takes until I can escape._

"Again."

…

 _It was done._

 _It was over._

 _The last Jedi was dead._

Ren had felt Luke's connection to the _Force_ wink out of existence. Aboard the Star Dreadnought, he restlessly walked the hallways, receiving mingled looks of fear and forced respect from those he encountered. _Luke was gone_. He had nothing to fear. His thoughts turned to TN-1063- Jaina Ionone. She was hiding things from him, memories, power kept submerged into the lake of her emotions. It was a useful trick. Ren hadn't wanted to submerge himself into her mindscape, delving into her balance. _He had been afraid of that balance._

 _"Bring Ionone over to the dark side."_

She used the dark side naturally, unafraid of it as if it had always been a part of her like fingers or toes.

Someone had to have trained her.

 _But, why wasn't she desperate to be at his side?_ He had sensed her feelings - _why was she holding back?_ His steps slowed as he came to the bridge overlooking the AT-M6 docking station. Bright red caught his eye. Hux was below with one of Farady's men. They were too far away to hear their discussion, but he assumed it was a tally of the all-terrain walkers stored aboard the massive starship. Something about the general reminded him of sensing Hux's own emotions, _ridiculous, petty_. The general had fostered grand notions about his own capability, his importance in the First Order's rise. Ren had assumed there was nothing else to the man save for his ambition and greed. _He had been wrong_.

A memory resurfaced, the Supremacy, the attack on the Resistance Cruiser. TN-1063 firing with their wingmate onto the bulbous-nosed cruiser. The explosion that ripped the darkness of space, eliminating Leia Organa - so he had thought, for a time until her appearance on the salt planet. But, none of that had mattered. He had wanted something to take his frustrations out on. He had chosen TN-1063. She was always there, somehow or another in the background. He couldn't have known she had gone to the Supremacy searching for her mother. He had thought he was the cause. She was always there, bound by his center of gravity.

His hands reflexively tightened into fists, remembering the feeling of grasping her by the throat.

 _Force-choking her_.

It had felt good, beyond good to watch the life slip out of her eyes.

TN-1063 had stopped being afraid; she had touched him and shown him her memory instead.

Why hadn't he killed her then for that smallest infraction?

 _No one touched him_.

 _She cupped his face and he had wondered how it would've felt to feel those fingertips bare. Then, she had done the one thing no one else ever had. He had felt the surge of need, his Force signature alive with it, starving for any kind of human contact and he had been half-ashamed of his weakness and disappointed she had pulled back, when he wanted more. He had been thinking of her in the turbolift with Rey._

He was thinking of her now.

Ren pushed those thoughts away. They were troubling, weakening. They had no place in his new order, his galactic empire. She would be trained, brought to heel and if all else failed, he would ensure Saskia killed her. _Soramar's other prospect, using her as...debasing her_...he already knew he could never allow that fate to befall her.

...

"Oh, Jaina, I have something for you."

She stopped on her way to her quarters. "Sir?"

Duma left the pilot console, "Some of the personal effects from the Supremacy's dead were recovered. I thought you would like to have your mother's."

A flash of the Supremacy's demise went through her head. Jaina managed a weak smile. "Thank you."

"How is your training going with Lord Ren's knights?"

"I…well, it's different than jumping in a cockpit and blowing something up." _More like night and day_. She admitted chagrined, still sore from Saskia's brutal Form V display. "They all think I should be grateful to Ren for the opportunity to train with them, but this isn't what I wanted." She dropped her voice lower. "I never asked to further my understanding of the _Force._ "

"You were always one of the best pilots in the Tarkin's wing, Jaina. You're intelligent, a fast learner. Keep what you've learned from them and maybe someday you'll find use for it." Duma smiled. "Besides, there is something in your mother's possessions that can help you."

...

"Why do you wear those helmets?"

It was the first question she had asked in the hour since Saskia had arrived. The knight had spent that hour explaining how light sabers were not toys - they were dangerous pieces of weaponry from the age of the Jedi. She had demonstrated her dual crystals, retrieved from a rich man's collection.

"All the Knights of Ren wear them." She expected her brusque tone would shake off the woman's curiosity.

"So you're hiding your faces."

 _Ah_ , how could she explain the emotions that had driven them to wear those helmets? How could she explain how much easier it was to believe she was unstoppable when her masked face inspired so much fear? Kylo Ren always had such an expressive face, someone well-versed in reading emotion would've had no trouble at all understanding his emotive state. He had viewed his face as a constant reminder of Ben Solo, weak, emotional Ben Solo.

"It makes you feel powerful to see the fear in the eyes of those who see you. I would never wear one. I prefer seeing the world through my own eyes, not distorted through a visor."

Saskia had stared at this woman, this upstart who had won through some fluke - not through real skill, define her very thoughts. She wanted to rebuke her, strike her - but, Jaina wasn't looking at her. She was studying the electroblade, likely trying to figure out how it worked.

...

The crate was delivered to her quarters sometime in the middle point of her daytime hours. _There is no time in space_ , she thought, chastising her calculated hours.

There were a few tunics, pants and boots. She laid aside the older clothing, the Darshaa silk tunic with bare shoulders. There had been nothing left of her mother's body. She had read the official report with its lack of details.

 _Rebels._

 _Suicide._

 _Desperation._

She thought of violet-haired Amilyn Holdo, wishing she believed in the Maker to say a prayer for the repose of their souls. More than the souls of First Order crew had gone screaming into oblivion. Jaina hugged one of her mother's jackets to her chest, the tears wouldn't come. She had cried after falling from the catwalk in Snoke's throne room. Suspended above an impossible depth, she had cried for the lives lost, for her mother and for the unfairness of the time separating them.

BB-9e bumped her legs gently, photoreceptor eye fixated on the jacket. "Yeah, it was hers. I'm not sure why I thought it would be easier now. I thought accepting who I was would help me understand my place, now I don't know." I just don't know. Laying aside the jacket, she looked through the old laminated ID card, a personal datapad and stylus. The last item on the bottom was wrapped in an old scarf of crimson edged black silk. Jaina reached for it curiously, finding the heft and size familiar.

"Is this…,"

The scarf unraveled around the light saber's hilt. The handle was ornate with silver and Haysian smelt wings framing the funnel. Jaina fingered the dark green cabochon set above the kyber crystal's chamber. "Loress Jade's light saber." She whispered, thumbing the switch. The blade ignited swiftly, washing her face in a vivid crimson glow. BB-9e rolled to the side as she experimentally swished the humming blade through the air.

"If this is Jade's light saber, then whose kyber crystal is this?" Unfortunately, there was no one living to answer her.

...

"Who trained you in light saber combat?" Jaina set aside the datapad that contained Galactic history. She had been reading through a condensed version of the events that had led to the destruction of the Death Star above Yavin 4. The story was not the same one her mother had told her before bedtime on Chandrila.

"I understand the Jedi Order was purged with Order 66, but surely some remnant survived for how else has something of their combat styles remained?"

Saskia had been going through the Jar'kai spin and step. "I…I'd rather not talk about it."

"Why?"

"You really don't know?"

"Saskia, you know I was a pilot. No one ever told me anything about what was going on in the galaxy."

The knight stilled, deactivating the saber staff. She had mismatching crystals in the conductors.

"I…I was trained by Luke Skywalker. I was one of the students in his academy. We were the hope of the galaxy, the spark that would restore the Jedi Order."

 _Luke's training academy…,_ Jaina sat up straighter. "I never knew there was a revival to restore the Jedi. I had always heard them talked about as legends, myths."

"They were to our parents," Saskia clipped the hilt to her belt, striding over to the cabinet against the far wall. Retrieving a clean towel, she buried her face in it for a few seconds, drying the sweat from her brow. "The Jedi purge had wiped them from the face of the galaxy. The Empire kept strict control on whoever took an interest in them. That was when Luke Skywalker and the Rebel Alliance fought. Luke was heralded as the return of the Jedi, he had been taught by Obi Wan Kenobi and the former Grand Master of the Temple, Yoda."

Jaina remembered Luke's surprise on Ahch-To. _That explained his fighting prowess, his skill exemplary to the roughshod skill of the knights_. "What happened?"

Saskia dropped the towel in the laundry chute, pushing back a few stray hairs from her temples as she composed her thoughts. "It took many years for Luke to build a suitable place. He had funding from wealthy citizens, mostly Organa's friends in the senate. Eventually, he began searching the galaxy for Force sensitive children to bring up in the ways of the Force. He had located a hidden chamber of archives from the old Jedi Order and used some of them for the names and birthplaces of children who were descended from Force sensitives."

"You were one of them….and Soramar?"

The knight met her gaze and in her look, she wasn't sure if she saw relief or guilt. "We all were."

"Even…?"

"Ben Solo was older than most of the students in the academy. He was fourteen and his Force abilities had barely emerged. But, he was strong. Master Luke said contact with a powerful Force sensitive had drawn his latent ability out."

 _What Ben made up for in lost time, he did so with raw strength._

"He was frightening. He challenged the older students who had spent years in the academy honing their skills to duels. Ben never had the patience for saber combat, but he would always win."

 _He spent nine years in the academy._

Jaina leaned forward, fascinated with the secondhand telling. _This was nothing she knew nor guessed from Ren_. "I can't imagine Kylo Ren as a child or a padawan."

"He went through that awkward phase where no one knows if they're a child or becoming an adult. Ben wasn't sure where he fit in. We all saw him struggling to adapt. His manners were maladroit, he was unattractive, he was Luke's nephew and maybe that made it worse. In the first few months of his arrival, he would use the holocall terminal every night. We all thought he was calling his mother."

"Was he?"

"No…well, I never knew who it was. I know that it stopped and his unhappiness grew. One time, I overheard him asking Luke about someone who was gifted in the _Force_. He asked when that person would be brought to the Temple. Luke told him that whoever it was had been abandoned somewhere in the galaxy. He kept saying _she was gone - she was gone_. Ben broke down in tears - I had never seen him hurt so much, not even when the padawans called him names."

"Please go on." It was strange, but as Saskia spoke, Jaina began to picture the academy with its beautiful white stone, domed roofline, grassy hillocks, and small thatched huts - the dormitories. She could see Ben Solo with his own, too old to be with the younglings, an awkward young man with a few possessions on the bedside table, the most important of those being the light saber he had constructed on his own.

"It was nighttime when we awoke to the sound of destruction. We were the first out into the cool air, myself and my roommate." Saskia twined her braid over her shoulder, catching the thick shining rope between her palms, her hands shook as she did so. "She was a young girl - she wore her hair like this, in braids. Every morning we would braid each other's hair." The memory almost brought a smile to her face, but it quickly faded. "Ben came toward us, his saber drawn. He…claimed Skywalker tried to kill him."

"Why?"

"Ben said that he had sensed his power - that Luke feared it and him. My roommate asked where Luke was and Ben - I think he already knew nothing was going to go the way he thought. He cut her down in front of me." _No screams_. Jaina saw a flash of the night sky, the hum of the saber cutting through flesh, sizzling from the scorch of blood.

"Why did you join him?"

"We had decided - the others and I, that Ben would lead us. We were waiting every day for the catalyst, holding our breath for when the moment would come when we would forsake the path of the Jedi."

"So you had turned…you were already dark and you allowed the darkness to fester in your soul." Jaina said, her hands resting on the tops of her thighs.

"It wasn't like that! Not at first…," Saskia protested, scowling. "I didn't…want to join him. He killed her - and when he asked me to join him, I didn't refuse. We killed them, the others and I…it's not something I'm proud of. We slew them in the fields surrounding the academy beneath a large moon. Someone set fire to the temple, smoke and ash consumed the greater part of the night sky. It wasn't until later that we learned Luke had survived."

"You betrayed Luke and killed all those innocent students."

"Yes, but how is it so different from a bombing run by a TIE squadron?"

Jaina's lips parted, she tried several times to speak, finally choosing her words with care. "There isn't much of one, except I didn't have a choice, you did. The dark side is the unleashing of power through passion. Killing indiscriminately makes you nothing but a murderer."

Neither spoke for a time. Saskia averted her gaze, "I think that's enough for now. Practice that footwork I showed you and I'll come back in a few days to check on your progress."

Once the knight had left, Jaina powered off the datapad. BB-9e rolled closer, beeping quietly. She nodded, "becoming a knight is overrated. I was trained to fly a space superiority fighter. Ren, Saskia and the other knights begun as Jedi initiates only to turn on everything they had ever known."

The droid beeped in agreement, rolling backward when she stood up. "I'm right, aren't I? The dark side is only concerned with gaining power through passion. That's why…," I was able to defeat Snoke. I used that passion, my emotions gave me strength. Those things I knew or figured out how to do…summoning the legacy saber to my hand, grabbing the guard's throat and ripping it out…

"I had seen Ren grab someone by the throat, Force-choking them, the same concept could be applied to picking something up with the Force."

The droid trilled a reminder, turning around to rotate after her stride across the room.

"Or picking up droids." She stopped, arms at her sides. She didn't reach for the saber, nor summon a weapon from the wall rack. "What else could you do with the Force? In your fists," _punching_. "In your legs." To enhance running. "Or for jumps. I wonder if there was a saber combat style that utilized acrobatic leaps?" She turned and spotted the datapad lying on the bench where she'd left it. Her hand flew out; she felt the stirring in the air, the tentative tremble of the energy reacting to her gesture. The datapad wiggled, but didn't lift up. BB-9e watched and trilled an opinion.

 _I grabbed Ren's saber._

 _I grabbed the legacy saber from his hand an hour or two later._

 _How?_

She tightened her grasp, concentrating harder. The datapad lifted a few precious inches, then levitated shakily from the bench. _I did it!_ She thought. The datapad wobbled a little then fell to the floor, the screen cracking upon impact.

"Kriff!" Dismayed, she surveyed her failure. "Alright, I'm not levitating droids anytime soon." Jaina flexed her stiff fingers, thinking hard. "I'm going to try again. There's no failure if you don't keep trying." Again, she reached out - focusing at first on the seemingly impossible task of lifting the datapad up off the floor.

 _Remember,_ she thought. _Remember how you felt - scared, afraid, any other word for fear of failure and dying on this same floor._ She withdrew her hand, surprised. "It was the dark side?" Jaina recognized the surge of emotion from her memory; the dark side had come to her naturally. She had done it without conscious thought, reaching out for the cross-guard hilt the same as breathing.

"I can't do it, because I'm not afraid. I'm not feeling anything right now that the dark side could feed off. I could draw on that emotion, but only through anger. There's got to be a way…Kylo does it with ease, because…because he is always angry! He draws on his negative emotions, his hatred, his disgust. The dark side is strong in him, but someone who gained power through passion, who used other emotions wielding them as a weapon."

BB-9e tilted its head back to look at her, beeping gently.

"Love? Yes, that is an emotion the Jedi forbade." _He could be defeated through the dark side. Love is stronger than hate_. _Love can be passion for someone_. "But, there is the light side. The Jedi found a way to use their peace to manipulate the Force. But, how…?"

She flexed her fingers once again, slowly opening up her palm outward. This time as she drew on the _Force_ , she remembered the feeling of being in the cockpit of a fighter. Hands wrapped around the dual controls, thumbs hovering over the triggers. That moment of breathless waiting for the targeting sight to line up - the serenity she felt knowing she had the skill and strength to accomplish the mission.

Jaina felt something then, a slight stirring. A warmth in the air like breath without substance, it came from within through her exhale and flowed outward connecting to the disparate strands of energy in the room. Through her searching fingertips, she felt the _Force_ move and her will along with it.

Something bumped her hand.

She cracked open one eye then the other, grinning suddenly. Her hand reflexively closed around the datapad, ignoring the cracked screen. Even as she relinquished the hold she had maintained through the Force, she could feel the energy present around her.

Leaving the datapad on the bench again, she extended her hand, the clip opened up on her belt, once free the hilt floated in front of her. Jaina kept a slight hold on it; the hilt trembled from her control. She grimaced and steadied her grasp. The droid silently watched her, she was aware of her surroundings, of the droid, of the possibility of dropping the saber. But, it didn't matter. She was consciously forgetting the impossibility of moving things with her mind.

Slowly, gesturing with her fingers, she mimicked thumbing the switch, reapplying the pressure in a different way. She caught her breath as the blade ignited, with the same hand, she reached out and grabbed the hilt.

"Wow."

…

Saskia reclined in the lounge aboard her private shuttle. They were currently traveling through hyperspace with four parsecs to go before they reached the Terramaire sector. Her personal guards stood watch outside the sliding door. She had removed her helmet, combing back the loose, sweaty strands of hair from her brow.

The holocall terminal pinged. She leaned over, recognizing the tug in the _Force_.

"Lord Ren," she acknowledged, glad the image feed didn't show up. Saskia didn't think she would ever get used to the sight of Ren's true face, she had forgotten it after so long of being confronted by the heavy helmet with its voice modulator that it was still a shock to hear his deep somehow dulcet tones through the speaker.

"How is her training progressing?"

"She is…deficient in skill. I don't know if I can do anything with her." She lifted the glass of Corellian wine, sipping from the crystal rim. "If you're so curious, why don't you call her yourself?"

"I put you in charge of her."

"Why me? If this had been the scavenger girl - we all felt her through the Force, you would've taken command of her training. Jaina Ionone you pass off to me."

"You know if you haven't guessed already."

"She refused." Predictable response. Saskia was bored of her assignment. She had expected someone with the reflexes of a pilot with the skills on her feet of a Force user. Jaina was heavy on her feet; she was clumsy with the saber, not used to anything lighter than a blaster. "Or…you're concerned her feelings for you would detract from her potential." It was ridiculous even to consider those words. Saskia restrained the bubble of mirthful laughter that was reminiscent of a Fathier's neigh.

 _Imagine - anyone liking him…Jaina was completely transparent with her feelings. It was almost…cute. She was hyperaware of his presence, nervous, easily flustered whenever he spoke or when his name was mentioned. Most of all, she could scarcely keep her eyes off of him and that included the picture from the datapad._

"Was she that _obvious_?" He sounded annoyed.

"If you had complimented her once, I think she would've died of joy." Saskia said honestly, fighting off giggles. "What did you do? Did you mind-trick her with that Gungan face?"

"Don't be ridiculous."

"What're you going to do about it?" She ignored the coldness in his tone. She could tell he wanted to move past the discussion of Jaina's unrequited feelings.

"What do you think?"

"Well, I'm not a mind reader."

 _You can't just ignore her._

 _If Jaina began to hate…_

"Do you think I was wrong in not killing her?"

Saskia fell silent, staring into the swirling depths of the wine. The claret color reminded her of spilled lifeblood. "You killed the others who were Force sensitives." Under Snoke's orders. "We purged them until the galaxy ceased producing them and we were left with so few. Jaina is twenty -six years old. She is someone you can command - but not everything of her. Why didn't you kill her on the Supremacy?" _You always killed them before_. "Things would've been a lot simpler if you had killed her then. We wouldn't be having this conversation as a matter of fact."

Across the stars, the Supreme Leader of the First Order listened to the rationality of his knight from the dimly lit room. "If you think she is useless, dispose of her." Then, he disconnected the call. He couldn't have explained it away none easily, Jaina had always been there near him, maybe not so intelligent, not so very useful, nor strong but she was devoted without caring about power or fear and he had been fascinated with the idea that _someone, somewhere had those feelings for him._

…

"Jaina."

She stilled her exercise, turning around. "Yoda!"

"Saved Skywalker, you have, yet here you remain."

"I couldn't stay with that grouchy old man!" Jaina powered off the saber, scowling. "He didn't even thank me - well, not that I expected it or anything, but still. I don't support rebel ideology and neither does he anymore."

"Support mass genocide, do you?"

"No! I thought it was wrong. But, what could I do about it?" She colored, embarrassed.

"Weapon, you are, like a dull blade that can be remade into a sword."

 _The sword of the Supreme Leader, the blade they wanted me to be_. "Why come to me? What're you here for? I've been with the First Order since I was a child, I can't go back and forsake everything for an ideal."

"No?" The ghost moved slowly, leaning heavily on his gamma stick. Jaina followed him to the benches lining the far wall. "That is an ideal you hold onto. The First Order, the Resistance, they're names for groups of people. Kill each other, they do, tell me, does that make either of them right?"

She started to see what he was getting at. "No, it doesn't. All life is precious; each life is equal in the _Force_. Power wise, maybe not so, but Saskia is my equal, Ren is my equal and all the others who I do not know."

"There," the tiny Grand Master tapped his stick on the floor producing a dull ringing noise. "You have already learned something of use. You need a teacher, someone who understands the temptation of the dark side."

"Who? I thought the Jedi were all gone." As she spoke, a soft blue glow expanded around the form of a tall woman clad in the ancient ceremonial dress of the Jedi Order, her elaborate headdress and reddish skin were evocative of the Togruta race.

"This is Master Shaak Ti."

"Hello, Jaina. I am here because of your empathy toward those cut down by Galen Marek's blade."

"You were one of his victims," Jaina whispered, her eyes widening. "When he hunted down the Jedi who survived Order 66."

"Offered to teach you in Luke's stead, she has. Master Ti had a Padawan after the purge that was tormented by her darker emotions, on Felucia. She is knowledgeable because of it."

Jaina's eyes slid to the small Jedi Master. "Why did Skywalker have so much bitterness? I sensed it from Leia's memories. I was told about the Jedi Academy. What happened the night it was destroyed - was all of it true?"

"Do you think it is?"

"I-I don't know. If I had prolonged contact with Kylo Ren, I would be able to see what he saw." _I could get inside his head, go through his memories. I can do it_. Suddenly the possibilities were endless. _Most of all_ , she thought, trying to tamp down her excitement. She could see how he felt about her. _It's nothing_ , she was certain there wasn't anything but a desire for her power, _yet what if there was something_ …, she realized she was stupidly hoping again.

"But, you would see a biased perspective. Luke Skywalker and Ben Solo have different minds; they saw the world differently back then. You would only see Ben's feelings, his mind at being betrayed, but you wouldn't understand Luke and how he felt."

"I would only be seeing one perspective." She nodded, dropping to a crouch. "That makes sense. But, why approach me? Surely there is someone else-"

"Luke has refused to train a new generation of Jedi. Disappointed, we are. In you, our hopes lie."

"Me? What's so special about me?"

"You're different than the girl, Rey. She was Kylo Ren's equal, however she was unbalanced emotionally. I believe," Shaak Ti's glance narrowed, belying her disagreement with Yoda. "The girl would've fallen to the dark side in spite of her intentions. We couldn't give her the support she needed. But, you, you have the equilibrium to carry out what needs to be done."

"What if I fell?"

"That's a risk we all took once."

"Jaina, doubt will undo you. Think back and hard, remember how you felt."

 _Snoke…,_

"Tempered your passion with sympathy, the dark side gave you strength to overcome the killer of Jedi. Empathized, you did, with Marek's victims. That empathy sets you apart."

 _No one remembers the dead. No one thinks of the lives lost or the ones that could be lost if something doesn't change_. "Is peace really a lie?"

"There is always some form of conflict in the galaxy." Shaak Ti exchanged a glance with Yoda. "If you take all the death the _Force_ has accepted, it creates a wound in that same energy. The worst you can become is a wound in the Force."

"I-I see, but I don't know what I'm doing." She looked down at the hilt in her hand. "Not so long ago, I was on a set schedule. I flew in a TIE fighter; I didn't have a name or anything except a droid." _But, someone gave me meaning. He brought color, violence and hope into my empty world._ "What'll happen if I stay on my current path? Do you know?"

"We cannot see the future, only you know what you have seen."

 _The ashes of an Empire risen again…a darkness filling the galaxy_. "Then, what I've seen…those visions are what'll come to pass if I fall to the dark side?"

"They are images of the future, one of many if you allow it."

Jaina fell silent, her thumb absently rubbing the Jade cabochon. When she spoke it was with a trace of wistfulness or sadness. "It's strange, but I feel like someone once told me I had darkness in me."

 _I was born from dark siders. I can almost see someone who was filled with blind rage and loneliness, spitting the words out so they would take root in my mind, so I would be afraid of the Force._

"It's a memory," Shaak Ti said quietly, "a long suppressed one."

"Then, who…who said them to me?"

"Only you can answer that for yourself, Jaina."

"But, you know….you've been watching me for years. You chose Rey because of her strength." _Just like Kylo Ren_. "Why am I always second?" _The last resort. The only one left_. "Why?"

"You cut yourself off the Force willingly. We could not reach you before. You didn't even understand what it was inside of you. That's why they chose the scavenger instead of you."

She felt there was more to it, but hesitated to ask. She felt like she was hitting a Durasteel wall. "Answer me this, how old was I when my Force sensitivity came out?"

"You were…very young. Given your lineage, it wasn't surprising."

"What about my mother?"

"She was an assassin of the Emperor. She was known as the Emperor's Hand. When the Empire fell, she changed her name. All of this happened before you were born."

 _No…no._

"She lied to me? She said she couldn't feel the Force!" Stricken, Jaina almost couldn't gather coherent thought together. "It's not true! My mother was an archivist. She graduated from the University of Coruscant- "

"Mara Jade is dead, we can't answer for her."

"She could feel the Force - that's why I knew where she was - I can't…not right now. I need time to think this over."

"Jaina-"

"No. Please, not now." She got up to her feet, unsteadily and walked to the door. By the time she punched in her code, they were gone.

BB-9e was waiting in the room.

"My mother lied to me."

 _She could feel the Force the entire time._

 _Why couldn't Kylo Ren feel her?_

 _Why didn't Snoke sense her?_

 _Force stealth._

She exhaled and struggled to regain control of her emotions. "I need to know if it's true or not. I have to know…,"

BB-9e asked in binary how she was going to go about it.

"I could ask someone with high clearance if they could look into my mother's records. The First Order came out of the Empire's remnants. Somewhere there should be a data file with her information on it." Jaina switched on the console, hesitating on inputting the code to connect her to the main bridge. "Should I call Kylo?" She had the code to connect her to his personal communication unit. Vividly, she recalled their last meeting and shook her head. He'd be angry if she called him for something so trivial. Or worse, he might think she was trying to make a connection with him.

It was tempting to input the numbers, to watch the screen light up, transferring the data across space to the Dreadnought. She could always reach him through mechanical methods or through the Force. She could touch him through the Force. Jaina pushed aside her own need. Reaching out to find him was the same as reassuring herself that she wasn't alone - _she was alone, she was pretending the way she had done all her life, that someone, somewhere out there, cared about her. Ren wouldn't want her to find him, or contact him._

She was shaking all over, trembling violently from the brutal thoughts going through her mind. They were necessary. She had to let go. He was right. Her feelings were blind, irrational _. They had no future, no place_. "Am I ever going to accept it?" The droid rolled and gently bumped her legs, reminding her that she wasn't alone. Jaina sniffled, absently reaching up to smear the hot tears across her cheek.

"Right…my mother." Her hand fell to the keypad, typing in a different code. The communications console answered. "Yes?"

"Could you patch me through to General Hux onboard the Ravager?"

…

Jaina waited for what seemed an interminable amount of time while the call went through. She had never considered the general's sleeping hours, somewhat guiltily surprised when the holographic image appeared on her monitor.

"General Hux? I apologize if I awoke you."

He had left off his coat; his tunic was unzipped down to the midriff beneath which he wore a white shirt. Hux's red hair stood up in spikes as if he had been pulling on it in frustration - or someone had been. She wondered where that thought had come from.

"No, _oh_ , TN-Jaina -" he cleared his throat. "I didn't think -" he cut off abruptly, disappearing from sight. Jaina self-consciously smoothed her hair down, wishing she had thought to drag a brush through it. Hux reappeared, his hair noticeably smoother. The desk shuddered beneath the monitor in his room and something large and furry moved into sight. "Down, Millicent." He muttered, grabbing the cat.

"How is she?" Jaina interjected, smiling.

"Unhappy from being on the same ship as that bantha poodoo."

She burst out laughing, clapping her hand over her mouth. "That's a new one." The sound surprised her. How long had it been since she had heard herself laugh?

"Oh, I've got plenty." He scratched the cat behind the ears affectionately. "Is there any specific reason why you called me instead of Ren?"

"Um-yes, there is, I…I was wondering if you could look up the files on my mother? Her name was Jessika Ionone, she was an archivist on the Supremacy."

"She passed in the attack, didn't she? My condolences. I should've given them before."

"It's alright," Jaina said with difficulty, "she gave me up years ago. I did get to see and speak with her before she died. The only thing I'm glad for is that the war is finally over."

 _We should be celebrating….instead there's tension, everyone is ill at ease. It's Kylo Ren. No one can accept his rule_. Jaina pushed aside her disquieting thoughts.

"I can try, but Ren has restricted some of my access. How far back did you want to go?"

"Well, what I really wanted to know was if we had records from the Empire?" She was aware of the general's scrutiny. "I-I remembered something my father said and I wanted to know if it was true."

"You think your mother worked for the Empire?"

"I'm not sure. For so long I thought she was an ordinary person whose line descended into the Empire's dealings. But, that information, if it was true would cause me to reevaluate my whole life and everything she ever told me." Jaina had never been so verbally honest with anyone.

"Very well, I'll try and see if I can access the records. Like I said, Ren was changing the access codes and cutting me out."

"But, why?"

"Does he need a reason? Look, I'll get back to you if I find something."

"Thank you," she said, "oh and hug Millicent for me."

…

Sleep wouldn't come.

Jaina tossed and turned beneath the blanket, unable to sleep. BB-9e's eye was dark in stasis, the droid was plugged into the wall beside the bed. She couldn't sleep and Ren wasn't the cause. Pressing her hands to her face, she exhaled noisily. Saskia had given her seven days to improve her blade skills. The knight had come and gone several times a week until she had finally issued her an ultimatum.

Seven days in which to prove herself able to learn proper light saber combat.

The memory drifted through her head, _the training hall and burnt blood. Saskia had disarmed her violently. The electroblade had bounced across the floor, sizzling in half. Jaina had stumbled back, her footwork forgotten in a desire for evasion, distance. Saskia had twirled and slashed, a whirling dervish of blade and crudity._

 _She had hit her with the Force._

 _"Weak."_

 _"I'm not!" Jaina felt her lip burst, the second blow knocked the air out of her. I don't know what I'm doing anymore. She had panicked once she had been disarmed._

 _"Ren said I could kill you if you don't show improvement." Saskia had stopped to examine the rip in her glove. Jaina's eyes darted around, there was blood in her mouth. The blow would bruise her face, swell up her skin._

 _"No. He wouldn't." He would. "He offered me a place at his side."_

 _"Oh, that? That was before, when he thought you were powerful." Saskia's glance flickered to her. "Or did you think you were actually worth something in his eyes?"_

 _She snapped. She felt it. The edges where her power lay. Jaina was no longer certain of anything. But. She could feel it rising within her, a consciousness that was alive, magnifying her agony hearing those words until all she felt was pain splitting her skull and chest wide open. Someone screamed - she barely registered the decibel shattering sound tore from her own throat._

 _She snatched at the hilt clipped to her belt, igniting the blade decisively. The crimson glow flared to life in her hands - Jaina couldn't remember anything else. The memory began again with the saber powering off in her hand and BB-9e beeping her name._

She pushed the blanket back, swinging her legs over the side. She wore loose trousers and a long sleeve top to sleep in. Jaina smoothed the rumpled shirt down over her stomach, reaching up to run her hands through her hair. The loose fringe stuck up in crooked angles from her tossing and turning. Stuffing on her boots without socks, she grabbed the Jade light saber from the bedside table.

In the training hall, she stood alone in the center of the room. The protocol droid stirred from the clean up room, but stayed away. Jaina ignited the saber with a whoosh, staring down the length of the blade. The beam was a pure vibrant crimson, shading her body with its bloodshine glow.

One. Two. Three. She practiced her stance, falling into a slow measured pace of footwork. Without BB-9e monitoring her progress, she felt lonely. There was no one to talk to, no snarky droidspeak to correct her.

 _I have to learn to be alone._

 _I can't rely on anyone else except myself._

Jaina went through the litany of the back and forth stance until she felt comfortable enough to place one hand behind her back. Single-handed, the blade's reach extended, she knew she had to watch for saber locks and disarming moves.

...

"Has she shown improvement?"

Saskia had finished her training routine, returning to her quarters aboard the Dauntless. She had taken a sonic shower, missing briefly the heated waters of a natural hot spring. At the sound of impatience in Ren's voice, she frowned.

"Why not ask her?"

"For the same reason, I placed her in your hands."

Saskia shrugged, she sat cross-legged on the sofa, observing the static interference play out on the monitor. "She attacked me eighteen hours ago after sufficient goading using you."

"How were her skills? Has she used Form II at all?" Ren ignored the latter half of her statement.

"No, she…she used…are you certain that saber she had was dead? It was useless…wasn't it?" She felt ridiculous even considering anything else. _She knew what she had seen_ -

"The crystal was shattered inside it." Ren sounded irritated, she supposed _he was irritated_. He had expected a knight, he had thought Jaina would do anything to be at his side - he had been utterly mistaken. _Jaina's reasoning was based on logic. She had already known he wasn't going to give her what she wanted, hence her rejection of becoming a knight_.

"I gave her seven days to prove she could learn light saber combat." She rubbed her face tiredly. Maybe she was over thinking things. "Jaina's attacks were raw, unfocused. There was no style or grace to them…there was no recognition in her eyes. It was as if she had gone somewhere else in her head. She was not there and that frightened me most of all."

"I felt someone drawing on the dark side." Ren said, pleased. "So it was her."

 _Her eyes._

 _"Abomination."_

 _They were golden…I couldn't have mistaken that through my helmet._ "Ren, I felt nothing from her. No fear, no pain, no love. It was like hitting a wall of something I didn't understand. It was the same thing I felt when Snoke was murdered. Who killed him?"

"The scavenger girl -"

Saskia thought he had convinced himself of it enough to lie to the First Order. "You're lying. All of us know the girl was murdered by Snoke. We felt when she passed through the Force. The only two left alive were you and Jaina to face him. Ren, are you certain you want her?"

If she becomes one with the dark side…

Saskia had never been afraid of much, she had her ordinary deep-seated fears aware they were what made her who she was. She had been afraid once, following instead of turning to the side of right, afraid for her own life. But, she couldn't have said that to Jaina ever, that she still wondered what kind of Jedi Knight she would've become.

She had almost known true fear in the training hall of the aging Star Destroyer.

And it was the droid who had brought Jaina back. Saskia couldn't forget it. She didn't think she ever would. _That monstrous thing, the primordial beast behind her golden eyes reverting back into the confused blue of the former pilot. The droid was beeping her name in alarm and she snapped back_. _She came back because of a droid_.

"You've seen her potential. Now, continue with your mission."

...

08:35.

She had been up until her comm had beeped with its set alarm schedule. She had reluctantly given up on improving her footwork, taking the turbolift down to her quarters. Jaina had collapsed into an exhausted sleep after kicking her boots off. Now as she gradually awakened, she groaned from the soreness of her arm muscles, wishing she could sleep for a million years. The console chose to beep then, alerting to an incoming call. Jaina glanced over, suddenly remembering her request. Pressing accept, she waited while the signals crossed through open space. Hux looked like he had come from a meeting, his uniform was pristine beneath the great coat, his red hair neatly slicked back.

"We were moving through a meteor shower earlier so communication was patchy. I didn't find much in the First Order's records." He leaned forward on the desk. "The files indicated your mother's age, her rank, the year she joined the First Order fleet on the Executrix."

"That's right." It was in line with what she remembered. Jaina yawned into her hands, blinking rapidly in a vain attempt to clear her spotty vision.

"Ionone's husband, daughter and - father, it looks like were with her."

"My grandfather was still alive?" She came more awake at the unexpected news.

"At the time of this ship's log, yes." Hux had a datapad in front of him. "There was fractional infighting among the fleet and Jade disappeared when the Battle Cruiser, Vengeance, and other smaller support ships broke away. That was a number of years ago, it was assumed they were fired on and destroyed by our later armada on the planet Niruan."

 _Was he killed?_

She remembered her mother's words. _"My father hated me."_ But, that wouldn't have been true if she had been a _Force_ sensitive, certainly Jessika/Mara might've resented being used by Jade. Or had repented of her former life once the Empire fell. But, why go back into the service of the Empire's remnants if that was the case?

"Is there anything else?"

"No, it's showing the disappearance of her husband. It was assumed that he turned tail. The armada was going into the unknown regions at the time, many refused, wanting to make a stand against the New Republic. Your mother transferred to the Tarkin under the newly promoted commander Gaius Duma. That old man has had a lifetime of service to the Empire." Hux muttered. "There isn't anything else you probably don't already know. There should've been earlier records from the Empire - or to me, it seemed there had been, but the entire thing was excised. That speaks of tampering from someone within the New Republic."

"Where would the original holodisks been kept?"

"They would've been on Hosnian Prime in the Hall of Records."

In the absence of things to say - _blown up into trillions of atoms_ , she thought, furious. "What about my grandfather, Loress Jade? If he was among the Imperial remnant, then he could still be alive." She knew she was hoping, ridiculously, against all odds. _The man - the dark sider, who had shown her memories of the Jedi Temple on Coruscant, who had shown her Darth Vader, who had inspired her to think beyond her worthlessness ascribed by others_.

"Jaina, he was part of the Chiss Empire of the Hand. They refused to accept Supreme Leader Snoke's rule. They were disgraceful cowards!"

"I know, you're right. He probably was killed on Niruan."

She was back to square one.

Or maybe not.

…

 _Where is this place anyway?_

"Niruan is located in Wild Space beyond the Outer Rim." Jaina pulled up several star charts, minimizing a view of the inhabited galaxy. "I can find a hyperspace channel that would lead us there, but the journey would take days on a TIE fighter's hyperdrive. We would need a shuttle or several stop offs."

BB-9e rolled over to the console, inserting a needle-like appendage into the socket, the monitor displayed a green and black schematic of the hangar. "Hey, what're you - oh, I'd forgotten about that." In another part of the hangar, there was a docked merchant shuttle that the Star Destroyer had detained for selling illegal goods.

"I'm not sure if I can fly that. Besides, who knows what kind of hyperdrive it has."

The droid issued a few select blips.

"You can analyze it - but still - wait! We could switch hyperdrives!" Jaina started to pace. "Great, but there's no TIE Silencer onboard. That would have the fastest - or Saskia's shuttle."

But, how would we clear the Tarkin? There's no way I could….unless…, a slow grin spread across her face. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" _She could use the Force to short out the electrical system, escaping in the confusion_.

"It can be done." She dropped down and grabbed the droid, hugging the spherical body. "And with my ability, I can see what happened there!" Once her decision was made, she couldn't sleep. _It was far too exciting - taking a ship out into unknown territory with the end goal seeking out her family_. Finally deciding to try something productive, she got up and slipped her shoes on. BB-9e woke up with her movements, detaching from the wall outlet.

"You've gotten more observant." She commented, heading out the door. The droid almost tripped her in its hurry to keep up, beeping cheerily.

In the training room, she slipped into the Makashi stance with the blade angled downward slightly behind her. With a quick flurry of motion, she crossed the saber blade in an x-shaped slash then low for the opening offense.

As the blade met air, she felt a stirring in the _Force_. Slowly lessening her aggressive stance, she thumbed the switch, deactivating the blade. "You're back."

The tiny Grand Master stood behind her, a faint blue glow surrounding his form. "Remind me of someone, you do. Taught by a dark sider, showed his memories."

"It's one of seven light saber combat forms approved by the Jedi Council hundreds of years ago." She returned the hilt to her belt. "Do you…did you…know my…grandfather?"

Yoda's brow furrowed, "hmm, Jade. Fell to the dark side. Have his strengths, his mastery over Form II. Count Dooku trained him in the Form when Padawan he was."

"I know, I've seen the Temple. He showed it to me. Grandfather became a dark Jedi after the fall of the Order." She hesitated, dropping down to one knee so they could be nearly eye-level. "Is he still alive?" She studied the ancient face of the Jedi Master. "Please, I must know."

Yoda regarded her steadily, "what will that knowledge serve you? Alone, you feel, but never alone are you. The Force is always there."

"It's hard to remember that sometimes."

Yoda motioned with his cane. "Come, sit, sit. You say you don't want to know the ways of the _Force_ , show you, I will, one lesson."

"What is it?" She sat down on the floor, folding her legs. The tiny Grand Master garrumphed at her pose. "Legs crossed, hands on your knees."

"Um okay…,"

"Close your eyes."

She saw the darkness of her eyelids, frowning. "I can't see anything."

"Ooh, thinking of your harebrained plan, are you?"

"Well…," She felt something knock into her head twice. Jaina's eyes flew open, "ouch! Hey, it's a pretty good plan!"

"You seek the past when you let it go once. Is that not taking a step backward?"

"That was different," she rubbed her brow. "I didn't know until that day who my grandfather was - I didn't remember. He was a dark sider, but he…he must've cared. He didn't abandon my mother or me when she needed help."

"Or had another reason, did he."

Jaina looked down at the floor, averting her gaze. "That's the same as Kylo Ren. He only wants to use me for my power."

"Accepted you have. Blinded you are not, but lost your path you have. Come. Close your eyes. When you close them for sleep what do you see?"

 _Ah, she understood now._

"I see the stars. I see planets, life within those places. Flowers blooming in darkness."

"What else?"

"The _Force_ …it's always there. Whether awake or asleep. I can feel it within me." She could feel the light and the darkness dwelling in calm balance. "They cannot exist without the other." Beyond the delineation of the Force, she felt something else. "There are others," _like bright lights in a sea of darkness_ , "I can feel them in different systems."

Saskia slept aboard a Star Destroyer hovering above a golden-blue planet.

Kylo Ren existed in a swarm of angry darkness, the echo of voices he refused to hear, dwelling within them. He trained hard until he collapsed in his conception of nighttime, exhausted from having physically run himself ragged. She couldn't resist from reaching out. She was physically safe, separated by a legion of stars.

"Kylo."

Then, she saw the boy. He was little more than a child, thin, bright-eyed, gazing up at the stars. He had a broom in hand, he had been sweeping out animal stalls.

"I see a race track." She didn't know how she knew what it was, or how she recognized the glittering gamblers haven. She could smell the musty straw, the earthy scent of tall four-legged beasts. "On Canto Bight…that child," she could see the light in him. White and piercingly pure. "He's a Force sensitive."

Jaina could feel herself in two places at once.

In the training hall with Yoda, who listened with serene benevolence - and on the stone floor of the Fathier stables. The boy sensed a disturbance in the air, she thought he might've sensed the inherent darkness lying inside her. He started running, Jaina started up to her feet. "No, wait-" she felt herself pulled backward into her body, constrained by the limits of her meditative state.

"That boy," she blinked in the bright overhead light. "He's a slave on Canto Bight. He's strong in the Force."

Yoda hummed, "yes, aware of him, we are. Troubling it is to leave him there. Do nothing for him, we cannot. That is up to you."

"What can I do?" She gestured helplessly. "Even if I took him from that life I would only be delivering him into Ren's hands." She hesitated, realization coming to her. "You want me to…to become a Jedi." More than that, they wanted her to resurrect the Jedi Order. She could feel it suddenly, a conscious will, a wish for the light side warriors to return.

"You are the oldest of the students we have ever taught. There are few to teach you who will." Slight disappointment colored the ghost's words. "But, train you, we must. For too long, we have let matters stand. Luke let Rey be lost."

"His greatest fear was losing her to the dark side and he lost her to death instead. But, what if I fail?"

"Failure is part of learning. Do you think if you failed we would be any less proud for what you become?" Shaak Ti appeared from a halo of blue light. Her solemn gaze pierced Jaina through to the core. She felt ashamed suddenly for doubting their wisdom. Her grandfather had once trained under them, so had Vader. They had been part of the Jedi Order during the twilight of the Republic. "Yes, you are descended from the dark side, but also from the light."

"Alright." Tears filled her eyes. "Okay."

…

While navigating through the Core worlds, the Ravager traversed its own gravitational line. Farady stayed on the bridge, allowing little respite for himself in front of the Supreme Leader. Farady's grandfather had been one of those disposed during the twenty year reign of the Empire in service to Lord Darth Vader.

Distinctly, he remembered the failure from the failed capture of the Rebels on the ice planet Hoth had led to his grandfather's preeminent demise or so the story went. Farady's lip had curled over the remodeling of the training hall aboard his Star Dreadnought. Ren was there, could be found, training his body into screaming exhaustion as though one slip of rest allowed the flood of nightmares within.

Farady watched from the monitor as the man collapsed -

"As General Hux seemed to suggest, the man is insane." Then, he resumed watching the old spice world drama on the datapad.

…

 _Shut up. Shut up. Shut up_.

The voices were louder than before, an angry hum that lived around him. A faded echo of the life forces he had extinguished during his three decades of life. Kylo felt them rise up from the pitiful remains, their ashes kept in different places, the powdered grey ash like sand mixed with bits of twisted bone. Burnt and forgotten. Never forgotten. He pushed himself until his muscles ached, absorbing strength from the raw, shredded feeling in his abdomen and arms.

He decimated the droids.

Reduced them to scrap.

Gutted circuitry crunched underfoot. He kicked at it, sending the debris flying into the pile he had made of the BB-9e droid Hux had sent hours before. He had taken his time with it, ripping its extensor claws, sides, circuitry apart to see if it screamed.

But, the droid was silent, mute to the abuse he heaped on it. Disappointed, he had crushed its head into an unrecognizable mass.

Only her droid screamed.

She screamed for it.

 _Why?_

 _How could she have such a humanizing bond with a piece of machinery?_ He refused to consider his hate stemmed from simple envy. There was no bond between him and anything living or artificial that came close.

Now.

The darkness was absolute behind his closed eyes. He almost wished Hux would cease being a sniveling gutless coward and come with his blaster, then he could Force-choke the cur - Ren's need for violence remained unquenched like a thirst for which he could never slake.

He saw the galaxy. The darkness became symmetry and shadow, rewriting the stars into a canvas of conquered worlds. Ren dealt in absolutes. This was his, everything - the galaxy had bowed to him. They all bowed to him.

He saw the pilot and her droid. The little droid that was everything to her. He saw her most of all. Brutalized, overwhelmed by his mastery of the Force. She had lost and would keep losing, but her eyes had promised him the tide would turn. Was she thinking of him even now? Wanting him near her, unsure of how to put her longing into words?

Unsteadily, he climbed up to his feet, snatching the hilt of his light saber from his belt. The blade blazed in a shower of red sparks, harmlessly scattering over his clenched fist. How long until he shattered her spirit? Until he bent her so far that all that was left were broken pieces? Or was she something else? Had he underestimated her strength of spirit? He had let his guard down for Rey, he had allowed himself compassion and hope.

Not anymore.

He punched the button for the droid release.

He couldn't stop thinking about her.

The vent rattled, the red light flashed. For a few seconds, he stared at the empty light and punched it repeatedly until he had flattened the panel into a mess of circuitry and dented metal.

He slashed futilely at the remnants of the droids he had crushed. They posed no challenge, no interest to him anymore. Powering off the saber, he sat down on one of the low benches against the wall. The Finalizer had not had similar equipped, but he had requested their installation reminiscent of the Tarkin's old design.

The voices fell silent.

Instead of Rey's plaintive, _Ben_ ; a living voice spliced through his consciousness.

 _"Kylo."_

…

Jaina carried a protein shake to the training hall. She had taken a nap in between blaster droid practice. Being up for hours wasn't conductive to maintaining balance.

"I'm used to sleeping at odd hours anyway." She had said to the droid, laying out fresh clothing. BB-9e had wedged itself between the bed and the console, charging itself. When the hour was sufficiently late enough, she had dressed in loose trousers and a long-sleeve shirt.

"You know, I used to think these things were nasty." She sipped at the thick mixture of vitamins and bland paste. "It's not so bad."

The droid expressed doubt in a series of blips, remarking _it would rather have a nice juicy power outlet than something biologically created for optimum functioning._

"Really, really." She input her code into the panel beside the doors. Once the authorization was granted, she pushed open one side and stepped into the quiet chamber, her bootsteps breaking the stillness.

She didn't have long to wait.

Shaak Ti materialized from a shimmer of pale blue.

"Hello, Jaina."

She wasn't sure how these things went. Was she supposed to bow or greet her differently than Saskia? She didn't think she could ever accept Saskia as her true teacher. They were close in age. She felt she understood things more than the knight did, limiting her world view through the lens of her own narrow-minded assumptions about the Force.

But, the Force ghost was different. Shaak Ti inspired respect, she possessed the gravity and wisdom of someone who had once served on the Jedi High Council.

"Master Ti." She bowed slightly, affording the courtesy she gave to Kylo Ren or a superior. "I was certain…well I was hoping you would appear. It's my first lesson with you. I don't know if I'll catch on quick or be able to do anything right away." She realized she was babbling. "Um, I'm excited." Jaina felt self-conscious admitting it to the Togruta's smile.

"Since you aren't a child and are aware of some aspects of the Force, we'll begin with an explanation of Form I."

Jaina sat down cross-legged on the floor trying to ignore her legs falling asleep after a few minutes of remaining in that position. The Jedi Master sat down across from her, the black Jedi robes pooled around her elegantly.

"The Way of the Sarlacc, or … the determination form. All younglings were trained in the first form, the base of all combat forms to come."

Jaina tried several times as the time passed, to visualize what she was being told. She had gotten as far as the breezy stone rooms, open walkways, and fountains of the Temple, but couldn't see more.

"What about the light sabers?"

"What about them?"

"I mean…they're powered by kyber crystals. But, the Jedi never had red blades. Only the Sith did, that's why…," _Skywalker saw the legacy saber in my hand. I don't know what he thought._ The Sith reborn, a Knight of Ren…,

"The saber you have," Shaak Ti indicated the hilt clipped to her belt. Jaina glanced down at it, frowning. "What about it?"

"Do you think it is made for destruction?"

"I - well, it's just a weapon. It can be used for good or evil."

"In a way, you are correct. Take it up. Look at it. Tell me what you see."

Jaina unclipped the saber, turning it over in her hands. She saw the ancient metal work, the detail in the design. The stone was Jade, a slight ironic touch there, rare Jade from some faraway place. Jaina held it in the flat of her palm. The hilt was perfectly balanced unlike Ren's heavy black metal hilt. Someone had made the saber with an eye to balance and aesthete. The heft was less than Vitiate's saber, she noticed. The legacy saber had its own elegance expressed in the intricate metalwork.

"I see skill. Someone wanted to make a beautiful yet functional weapon."

"Is there anything else?"

"Oh! The kyber crystal!" She had almost forgotten the crystal inside the hilt. She focused on the conductors holding the crystal, sensing the blood red color of the stone contaminated through dark Force use. A vague remnant of emotion seeped through - startled, she looked up to see the ghost watching her.

"Yes, you felt that, didn't you?"

"Loress made the crystal bleed. He didn't create this saber."

"No, he didn't." Shaak Ti agreed with a slight shake of her head. "It was given to him as a padawan. The saber was kept in the hall along with the other light sabers of antiquity. The saber is an heirloom of the Jade clan. It was always meant to come to you, Jaina. Your mother wielded it for a short time as well."

She felt the immensity of the evil that had been done with the blade whose inherent design was Jedi in origin. "Can it be healed?"

"Through a cleansing in the light, the crystal can be restored. But, as you are now, the dark side would only react to your own nature."

…

The seven days were up.

She awoke with a feeling of expectation in her soul.

"Ren's away with the rest of the fleet which I'm glad for." She ran a brush through her hair, studying the reflection of her face in the mirror. BB-9e beeped from the bedroom prompting a faint smile. "I'm doing much better now."

The droid expressed doubt in a series of blips.

"Really, I am. I've been practicing my Makashi. It's a duelist's style, but against her Form V, I think if I keep her on her toes, I'll have a chance." Jaina chose a loose blouse over her fitted trousers, tucking them into knee-high boots. The last thing she clipped to her belt was the light saber.

Saskia twirled her dual-bladed weapon with ease, her twin braids flying with the brutal elegance of her movements. Jaina watched her belted robes fly around her long legs. She waited until Saskia's warm up had slowed into a singular pace.

"Hey."

"Hey, yourself." She flicked the switch on her blade, dismissing the beam. Saskia nodded approvingly over her loose garments, then she noticed the light saber clipped to her belt. "Where did you get that saber from?"

Jaina unclipped it, finding a small smile. "It was my grandfather's. Personal effects from the Supremacy were finally distributed. This was among my mother's possessions."

"The workmanship is old, but it's beautiful." Saskia commented, admiring the Haysian metal craft. "Does it work?"

She nearly laughed, "let's see." She never would've admitted it to anyone, but she had ignited the saber in the 'fresher before continuing into the training hall. Thumbing the switch, the blade's hum filled the air. Saskia bared her teeth in a grin, "I'm not going to go easy on you."

"I know and neither am I." She fell into her stance, the blade held back, angled to the floor.

"Makashi…that's weak against other complex forms."

"I'll manage."

…

BB-9e watched from a safe distance away. _The Force could touch it, it could lift it up and destroy it - but the pilot was there. The pilot could stop it from happening_. The droid recorded the sparring match across the room, catching the light play of the saber clash. The pilot held her own, her footwork fast and unchanging from the back and forth stance. She moved flawlessly, without breaking her quick blocks and evasive slides. The knight's Form V was harsh and almost ugly in its brutality.

At the end, neither won.

Jaina was lighter on her feet, faster recovering, but the stance was still lethal. The droid watched the two women locked in combat - they could kill the other, each posed for a fatal wound. Jaina shifted, her hand behind her back slightly gesturing. Saskia's blade retracted, deactivating.

"That was a cheap move."

She shrugged, "anything it takes to win."

"I never noticed you using the Force."

"Sometimes you have to be subtle." Jaina said, striding to the droid. She crouched down and the droid opened up a compartment where a tiny water flask had been kept.

"How much can that droid carry?" Saskia asked, returning her hilt to her belt. She had seen the droid carrying water, an ID card, a cooling towel, packets of food, protein bars, the legacy saber, a wrist comm unit - she thought it might've been everything except a kitchen sink.

"A lot." Jaina took a swallow of water, reaching out one-handed to pat the droid's head. The droid trilled happily in response.

"I've never seen a droid act like that either." She had seen the other BB units rotate stiffly, their replies curt. They acted like tin cans on wheels that frequently shocked unsuspecting troopers. Jaina returned the flask to BB-9e's compartment and got to her feet. "My droid is one of a kind."

The droid waited until they had moved onto discussing the next steps in her training routine. Saskia left with a grumble about the Dauntless. When Jaina was in the shower, the droid rolled to the console unit in her room, filtering out the latter part of its recording leaving part of it intact. Inserting a metal arm into the console unit, the droid uploaded the recording, sending it to the code programmed into the computer's system.

"What were you doing?" The sound of the pilot's voice distracted the droid. The metal arm retracted into its side compartment as it swiveled to look up at her, chirping about processor upgrades.

…

"Always on time." Saskia muttered, noticing the comm unit beeping. "How did you know I wasn't entertaining someone?" She flicked the switch, leaning back in the curved alcove of pillows. The Dauntless ran as most did into a monochromatic color scheme of black-grey uniformity.

"Because you knew better than to be distracted. At least I would assume you capable of intelligent thought."

 _Ouch. That was harsh_. "I've decided to keep training her. She used Makashi- you know," she caught the slight smirk playing on his generous mouth. "How…you knew the entire time she had been trained by someone. Who?" Saskia had imagined Luke's basic teaching had barely scratched the surface of light saber forms. Jaina had shown aptitude, skill. She was beauty and deadly grace in motion.

"If she wouldn't tell me, what makes you think she'll ever tell you?"

"Hey, quit the smugness, buster. Is there anything else you're not telling me? Why haven't you simply read her mind. You always take what you want."

"I tried and she had nothing. She kept me out. I couldn't see anything until she pulled me into her own memory."

"How?

How could he explain it? Jaina had grabbed a handful of his tunic and pushed them into her own memory. Had that been necessary? Had she only wanted to touch him? She had been capable of reading him on other occasions with minimal effort. "I don't know how. She had full control the entire time. I could only see what she wanted me to see."

"Whoa, that's…surprising. I wouldn't have thought…anyone could keep you out." Saskia almost didn't believe him. How could an untrained woman keep him out? But, then there was her Form II. Someone had trained her at some point in her brief lifetime.

"Once her training has progressed, I'll take over."

"You might be planning all these things with her," Saskia remarked, noting the longing look on his face. "But, her temper is as bad as yours."

…

"You're quieter than usual."

She was used to the woman talking non-stop about the droid, about how ridiculously clumsy the footwork was against a more skilled opponent. Mostly about the droid. Saskia watched her perform a few glancing strikes, her balance slightly off. Jaina wasn't putting enough strength behind her swings. She was off.

"Am I? Maybe I got tired of talking." Jaina mildly retorted, launching into the first steps of Shii Cho. She had waited two nights straight for the Jedi Master to appear for nothing. Then, on the third night, the Togruta had made an appearance.

"We were conferring with the others who have passed, our peers, our ancestors as to how to best approach your training." Shaak Ti had explained.

"Have you come to a consensus?"

"There is some formation of a plan. However, we are in dissent as to your age. Master Windu has argued you are much too old for the Jedi path and that we should wait for someone else."

"How old were the Jedi initiates?" She determinedly ignored the stinging reminder of her age.

"They were young, only children."

"Younger than that boy?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"They were taken from their families at an early age to curb attachments, also to guard against Force Bonds from forming with non-Jedi. You have no attachments to anyone except a droid. The droid is a machine." BB-9e's head swiveled toward the faint blue glow its processors could see, but not detect the figure present. "Your love for Kylo Ren is a fool's dream. You cannot save him and if you don't let go, he will destroy you."

 _…a fool's dream._

Jaina wished she could meditate instead of being forced to learn something the wrong way. _Shii Cho, Makashi, Soresu, Ataru, Djem So, Niman, Juyo. Seven forms_. She felt sweat slide down the collar of her tunic. She had spent one hour listening to Galactic History afterward answering questions on the legend of Tython, the homeworld of the Jedi Order.

She closed her eyes and deactivated the saber. The blade's heat had begun to disorient her. The room felt stifling. "I need a few minutes."

"What if this was the middle of battle?" Saskia interjected cuttingly.

"Sorry," she wobbled on her feet. BB-9e rolled forward, beeping concernedly. "I don't feel so good."

The knight's scowl softened, she went toward her, grabbing her by the arm. Saskia touched her forehead, "hey, you're burning up. What's wrong with you?"

"I'll be alright in a little bit. It's something that comes and goes." Jaina pushed her hands away. The droid sat at her feet, holding up a flask of electrolytic fluid in one extensor claw. She took a long draught, holding the thick liquid in her mouth then slowly swallowing it.

"Thanks." She placed the flask in the droid's claw. Saskia watched doubtfully as the extensor arm disappeared into the droid's side. "Are you sure you're not coming down with something?"

"I'll be fine. Let's continue."

Saskia grinned suddenly, "I just remembered something that'll perk you up! Captain Radford told me that Ren is going to make an inspection of the fleet. Now might be a good time to show off everything you've learned."

Jaina shrugged slightly, her lips compressing. Ren was a subject she preferred to avoid. She had enough reminders of his presence around her every day

"The Tarkin's old, I doubt the starship ranks very high on his priorities."

…

The blade cut the air cleanly, vibrating from her hand. Saskia immediately dropped her combat stance, bowing. "Lord Ren!" Jaina did the same, surprised. Soramar ignored the obsequies exchanged. They had come from the Ravager for a surprise visit. Ren hadn't said as much, but Soramar could tell he was eager to see her.

Soramar's attention was drawn to the light saber while they talked. The handle was silver with Haysian smelt detailing framing a cabochon of rare Jade from Earth. _The wings…he had always thought of the Jedi Order, the symbol of the winged saber. But, this one was different._ He could see it descending through the air, carving a merciless path through someone's body.

"That light saber…," he knew it. He had seen it before. Soramar's twin hearts pounded in his chest painfully. "That's-"

"It was my grandfather's," she said as if simply stating a fact. Soramar read nothing of pride in her. Ren was different. He was proud of his lineage, his descent from Vader. That had been part of the reason why they had followed him. Ren was born from light and darkness yet didn't embody the light as Luke Skywalker had.

 _Loress Jade._

 _There had been others he had thought, always uncertain._

 _It was destiny_ , he thought, _mine_. She was the last Jade by blood. She was weak in the dark side and the light. After six months, he thought it would be easy. Saskia was no task master either. Saskia would've let her pass the first tests so as not to be the lone female among the knights.

"Let's spar. I need to loosen up and you're easy pickings."

Saskia's eyes slid between them narrowing in displeasure; she allowed it with a curt nod. She and Ren cleared the floor, Soramar paced and set up his Ataru lunge. Form IV's aggressive strikes for sure would overwhelm her. His eyes narrowed as she settled into Form III with the familiar backhand stance, blade extended forward, parallel to the arm. Soresu was weak, perfect for countering blaster bolts or close quarters fighting. Soramar shook his head slightly, pushing the Force into his body to augment his natural skills.

He force leapt at her, pulling off a slash across the body. Jaina blocked him with a quick zone two from the hip upward. Soramar lost ground to her, retreating to swing for her chest. Jaina pulled off a deflective slash parrying his offensive blow. Soramar followed it up with a series of quick stabs, sparks flew from the connected blades.

She had no interest in harming.

He read nothing from her, no killing intent, nothing.

She was mocking him.

He was nothing to her flawless execution of Form III. In the middle of his leap, he reached out with the Force, grabbing the droid. She always had the little droid with her, he had even seen her talking to it - expecting it to answer. _How pathetic_ , like it was a person.

The droid beeped shrilly, feeling itself levitate off the floor. Saskia glanced and looked fleetingly concerned; Ren continued observing, his expression betraying nothing. Jaina had spun to counter his next move - at worst, he could merely throw her off or she would slice through the droid as he expected.

Soramar landed with his saber blade level to the floor, with his free hand motioning sharply to the left. Jaina had the blade downward with a drop stance he didn't recognize.

Now.

 _…_

She felt the emanations from the Force.

Soramar had BB-9e.

The droid was beeping her name in binary. It was a feint. The Zabrak wanted her to swing around and slice through the droid. She spun and caught the droid with the Force, countering his push with a graceful arc. BB-9e touched the floor and started to roll backward - Soramar was on her in an instant, taking advantage of her distraction. Jaina blocked his swing for her back, switching into the deflective slash. Their sabers collided and bounced apart from one another, sparks flying. As he sprung into a mobile crouch, he switched to a one-handed grip reminiscent of Saskia's zone one attacks.

Jaina saw resolve in his light eyes. The streak of his smeared tribal tattoos throbbed with the pulse of a vein on his temple. One-handed, he whirled into a frenzied burst of Ataru and Djem So's rapid, aggressive movements, they were sloppy in their cadence she saw, nothing of the elegant execution of a master, but devastating all the same. Her Soresu faltered with his heavy upper cuts. Each move had to be precise, her footwork timed with her swing, her body twisting to match and counter the blows, deflecting them from her.

He hooked her saber, breaking her tight defensive formation. Jaina gripped the hilt between both hands, calling on the _Force_ to aid her. Soramar's lips peeled back over his teeth - she stared at him over the crossing of the blades and heard metal strike metal with an agonizing screech.

 _What?_

Her concentration wavered.

He had the droid with his free hand. The _Force_ had a hold of the droid, he was slamming the droid into the ceiling strut repeatedly. It went through her head in a millisecond, Jaina unhooked her cramping fingers from the hilt of the saber and reached out, freezing the dented droid in midair.

BB-9e trilled in relief.

"You're so predictable." Soramar whispered, his dominant hand controlled the saber, pressing hard against her weaker grip. Jaina realized her mistake in switching hands. The left was always weaker. She could feel her wrist throb from the unnatural duress placed against it.

 _That's your weakness. Your inability to let go_.

"Let go."

BB-9e wobbled and levitated across the room, beeping weakly. She thought the droid's voice box might've been damaged. Her anger started to rise. She could feel it within her, giving her strength. But, no…she needed to use the light. Disarming him proved enough. _I don't need to harm. I don't need to harm - I must harm._

Soramar slowly closed his fist. Jaina glanced at his hand quickly. He was forcing her to choose. _No. No. BB-9e belonged to her. Now that her mother was gone, BB-9e was the only one who cared for her. BB-9e was a droid. Just circuits and wires. But, no one else cared about her_. She kept her grasp on the droid, hearing the snap and pop of circuits and a tug of war ensued. Soramar threw his weight behind his saber lock, forcing her wrist to bend, the blades lowering, descending closer to her. The combined heat drew sweat to run down her face. She gritted her teeth, restraining the urge to scream in agony and fury.

 _Master Ti…I need you. I need something to remind me of the good left in the galaxy._

BB-9e's head sizzled with electricity, its photoreceptor eye futzing between blue and black stasis.

 _They're always trying to destroy the one thing that belongs to me._

 _Destroy him first._

 _Destroy them all._

She caught her breath, the truth was brutal. But, the truth could set someone free.

She knew what to do.

Her hand opened up; the saber fell and in his surprise, Soramar's lunge broke through, sending him off balance. His hold on the droid slacked and she caught BB-9e with the gesture of her left hand, catching the saber in her right. As she ducked beneath his swing, she slashed awkwardly across his thigh.

The wound instantly cauterized, the blood vaporizing through his muscle. Soramar staggered as Jaina spun on the balls of her feet, swinging out of his way.

"Enough!" Saskia called suddenly.

"No." Ren stopped her; there was interest in his look. He had seen through her ruse. Ren didn't have to put a restraining hand on the knight. Saskia should've known when to back down. "It was good enough, Lord Ren."

"No." Jaina said, surprising him. "No, its not."

Rage boiled through the Zabrak's veins. She could see it tainting his Force signature. She raised her voice to ensure they heard. "I've been training late night, every night for the past six months. I want to show you what I've learned, Ren."

Kylo Ren met her stare with a slight nod of acknowledgement.

Then, she slid into the stance of Form II, Loress Jade's preferred combat style. He had learned from Dooku during his days as a Padawan in the Jedi Temple. Dooku, the master of the elegant form, had seen promise in the Padawan before the fall. Loress could never have been a true Sith. She knew that now as the saber's memories ignited her own of Jade's training. _He trained me…he showed me his memories. He wanted me to become the Sword of the Sith_. _Thank you, grandfather. Thank you for everything you taught me_.

"Makashi-!" The Zabrak gasped, endeavoring to hide his initial reaction. "Makashi is…weak against other forms!"

"Is it?" Jaina held the blade downward, her feet spread apart. "You're not worthy of the salute." New confidence had been born in her, she sprung forward, lightly crossing sabers. Soramar reacted quickly, his counter pushing her back into a defensive angle. Jaina recovered quickly however and began her offense. Makashi, she could hear the echo of Jade's rasping tones. _"The most elegant of the seven combat forms, effective against a single opponent but also weak against a dedicated Form V user. Darth Tyranus was overcome by Anakin Skywalker's Djem So. But, I have never been bested in single combat now that the Jedi are extinct."_

She sliced across Soramar's face, the blade edge cut shallowly, eliciting a scream of agony from his throat. She drew back and performed an elegant falling leaf saber descend. The Zabrak deflected her with a clumsy parry, swooping in with the strong style's heavy hack and slash assault. Jaina danced away from him, her evade deft with precision. She had broken her back and forth stance with the evasion. Her defensive counter kept her out of his reach dueling his desperate fury.

 _This was it…throw him off._

The arrogance grandfather projected through his memories, cutting down weaker opponents. In Soramar's anger she knew he was liable to make mistakes, what she needed was focus, precision. Jaina kept her movements tight, aware of the tension coiled in her body.

She feinted a lunge on her right foot, drawing him out into a lumbering charge. In the moment when he was in momentum, Jaina pulled back and performed a wide sweeping move, disarming him. Soramar growled low in his throat, the sound guttural, resembling nothing human. She saw darkness in him, he was drawing on the dark side to give him strength, more than wounded pride, for some other reason he refused to back down.

The _Force_ caught her by the throat as his hand shot out - instantly she felt an all too familiar feeling she wished she could forget. The closure of the esophagus, the breathlessness, her lips parting for air. One hand flew to her throat, knowing nothing tangible could be felt.

"That's enough!" Saskia shouted, the sizzling hum of her light saber joining theirs. Black spots danced in Jaina's vision, the room wavered into a kaleidoscope of colors. Through it all, she could feel Soramar's emotions.

"Let her go."

Saskia held the red blade sideways, prepared to slash through his spine. "The match is over. Let her go now."

"Soramar."

Ren's voice reverberated through the tense air.

He was so close to ending it.

 _Jade. The Jade lineage_. The last one was within his grasp. All of it. In his fury and confusion, he felt himself breaking inside. Jaina's fingers depressed the switch on the saber. The winged hilt fell from her suddenly nerveless fingertips. _**Yes**_. A few seconds more -

…

 _Why won't they do something?_

 _Saskia._

 _Ren._

 _Someone. Anyone_.

Jaina felt herself slipping down, the loss of air discoloring her lips. Her life was unspooling inside her, disjointed images passing through her mind's eye. The pain from being unable to breathe lessened, she could feel the _Force_ so much greater than before. She was dying - but, she was going to become part of that same energy. _This life_ , the anguish she had experienced for someone else, all of it was falling away with her consciousness. _It was all right_ , she thought fleetingly. _The Force was with her and she was one with the Force-_

Something flew forward, cutting so closely to her that she felt brief heat flare. Jaina heard the screams - the vise loosening on her weakened vocal chords. She passed into the blackness of unconsciousness silently, hitting the floor.

…

BB-9e saw the saber lift. Jaina had depressed the switch seconds after it had left the knight's hand. The hilt has bounced harmlessly across the floor, skittering to a stop near it. The droid had stayed far away after the knight's last two attempts to render it non-operational.

Now, the former pilot was in trouble.

The droid calculated the odds of her getting out of the choke-hold alive were increasingly fading. The female knight - Saskia had moved behind the unstable male with her laser sword and Ren, the leader of the knights, had his laser sword in hand. But, they weren't doing anything useful. They were trying to coax by words when the knight was already gone.

She was going to die.

The droid rolled forward, uncertain whether or not it could do anything. A slight blue glow suffused the air, the droid felt someone lay their hand on its head gently halting its motion.

There was purpose in the figure the droid couldn't see. The light saber lifted flying forward in a blur. At the second, the hilt turned and ignited with its signature hum slicing through the Zabrak's outstretched arm.

Jaina hit the floor as the knight crashed to his knees screaming and cradling the stump of his arm. BB-9e was aware that the ghost was gone.

…

 _I failed her._

Saskia paced up and down outside the medbay. She looked up at Ren's approach, he had been seeing to Soramar from the surgical room down the hallway. Commander Duma had stopped by briefly, mostly to comment that they did have advanced equipment and the capabilities of smaller medical frigates to repair and reattach limbs or there was the mechanical option. He had said this slightly sneering behind a respectful bland look.

Reattachment was never an option with saber wounds. The blades cauterized the nerve endings, frying the muscles and flesh. Wounds were never gory, but they could be far more fatalistic from the extreme heat. Saskia heard Soramar screaming from down the hall; she flinched, chilled.

Ren was remarkably calm, although paler than usual. She noted his side glance to the doors. "She hasn't come to yet. How is…?"

"He lost his dominant hand. He can control the _Force_ from the other, but not as well. Soramar expects me to kill him."

Yes, that was a given. His usefulness as a knight was almost gone. The question remained…who had thrown that light saber?

"Soramar didn't stand down."

 _He was going to kill Jaina._

She had felt it, his killing intent, nothing else could sway him from it. "Ren, Soramar didn't listen to you or me. He didn't care. Why?"

"I couldn't get anything out of him. I suppose it could be attributed to misplaced pride."

"Pride? So you're saying he was enraged because he lost to her?" Saskia would never accept that explanation. It was a cop out. "I failed her as a master and so did you." She cut him off before he could say something. "No, whatever else you may think, I can feel how much you want her to become one of us." But, you didn't stop him. "You pushed her into this, you did. No one else. Master Luke wouldn't have let someone harm us like that."

"Don't speak to me of Skywalker."

"You know it's true." Deep down, she had never believed his version of the night the temple was destroyed. Saskia had her own reasons for following the dark side, but as for Skywalker, she knew she had let down the example of a master she had wanted to be.

"You know nothing!" Ren said tightly, getting into her face. She glared at him, her hand twitching toward her saber. "Maybe I don't - and I'm wrong. But, the truth is you let her down by not stopping him." Saskia caught her breath. She could feel his sudden anger as unstable as Soramar's. For one second she thought he would strike her down. "Go ahead." She hissed. "Do it and prove that the dark side kills everything it touches."

He exhaled and stepped back after a long moment. The _Force_ signature surrounding him lessened in intensity. Saskia knew she had come close to crossing over his line of tolerance, the border that separated his sadistic instincts from being taken out on his knights, his closest comrades. That bond had stopped them both from inflicting harm on Soramar. Saskia was damned sorry now.

"The dark side is our ally. It doesn't control us. When you forget that, you're lost." She said, shaking her head. She finally turned and walked away, her long braids swinging against the flow of her long cloak.

…

BB-9e chirped quietly from the bedside.

"A blue light…?"

She swallowed with difficulty; _why am I always ending up in here_? She had thought her feint had worked. She had won by skill and yet he had persisted with the _Force_. Jaina lay on her back elevated by pillows. The room was off the main medbay with the occasional hover droid passing through.

The blue light had been Master Ti.

There was no one else who it could've been.

She closed her eyes tiredly, wishing she could sleep. Her throat felt sore from his stranglehold, she had choked on a glass of water brought to her by the protocol droid. They had reassured her that once the swelling went down, her voice would return to normal. Jaina wasn't sure anything was ever going to be normal or all right again.

BB-9e rotated slowly to the door, beeping.

"Someone's coming?"

 _Kriff…I don't think I can handle anything right now._

She shifted her arms into a more comfortable position and closed her eyes.

The door opened; someone crossed the small room. She knew who it was without sight. Ren's Force signature hovered over his form, delving into a swirling grey-black. Jaina could see it pressed against her eyelids, brushing against her side.

He extended his hand, hovering over her face then down to her throat. Reflexively, she flinched expecting something else. A year ago, she accepted hand gesticulations without malice, now she tensed assuming they were going to be directed in malevolence.

She wanted her light saber.

She felt small and afraid.

"Don't be scared."

Her eyes flew open wide, Jaina couldn't help it. She couldn't pretend she didn't feel fear in his presence. She had no reason to believe she was safe without her light saber. She wasn't naïve enough to think her own Force abilities could win against him. _But, with a blade…a sword…,_

"Don't touch me." Her voice came out as a whisper.

"I'm not going to hurt you."

She could see frustration in his look. Jaina pulled away against the wall, shrinking from his touch.

"I have no reason to trust you."

Ren moved faster than she had thought possible. Grasping her by the upper right arm, he yanked her closer. Before she could consider grabbing his light saber, his free hand pressed against the curve of her throat. Jaina immediately froze at the sensation of his fingertips lying against the bruised skin.

"No, you don't."

She felt something then, the gentle pulse of light, a pale green glow passed from his fingertips into her throat. _Healing?_ The emanation reflected a shift in his Force signature, a subtle lightening of color. Healing was known only to the light side. She hadn't yet learned the technique. Slowly, she could feel the bruised tissues being restored, the swelling easing until she could swallow again without wanting to cough and sputter.

It wasn't perfect, but she felt better.

"Thank you."

Ren dragged his fingertips away from her throat, the gesture gentler than she expected.

"You summoned Soramar's saber?"

"Yes, it was me." She knew he needed to be convinced of it. Ren was foolish enough to believe it of her as a last ditch effort to save herself. He nodded and released her.

"Rest. I'll deal with him."

…

"When is he leaving?" Duma was heard to mutter on the bridge. Jaina was there to witness the lunar eclipse of the star they were passing. Through the special plated windows of the Star Destroyer, eclipses were viewable safely.

"Sir?"

"General Hux is coming aboard later and he's going to be saying that this old tub needs to be retired from service! When we're lighter and faster than those behemoth Star Dreadnoughts." The old man was chewing over Buttersweet puffs and tea while his Lieutenant held the tea tray for him.

"This is a Victory-class II Star Destroyer, isn't it?"

"Oh, hello, Jaina, didn't see you there. We have an updated Hoersch Kessel Drive…," the commander muttered other technobabble that the officers sighed at. "My point is we can fight a Star Dreadnought into a standstill with our cannons and shield capabilities."

"The Resurgent-class have larger TIE wings attached to them.

"Yes, well, after Salonga lost our wing in the Battle of Hosnian Prime, I reorganized the troop defense for a larger TIE accompaniment." Duma set his tea cup down hard on the tray. "That fool made us the laughingstock of the First Order."

One of the officers from the communications console piped up helpfully. "Sir! General Hux and his retinue have been cleared for landing."

"Noventa, make fresh tea."

"But, sir, don't we have droids for that?"

"Extra lemon, sugar on the side. On the double."

"Yes, sir!"

Noventa had begun to walk off when the commander called after him. "Make strawberry tea, not blackberry, remember General Hux is allergic." The old man chortled unpleasantly, offering Jaina the second cup of tea from the tray.

"I haven't seen General Hux in a long time."

"Everyone thinks he's a cur, when he's still a pup." He observed her surprised expression. "But, not you. You like him, eh?"

"Well, I…," she felt herself blush.

"Jaina, his father, Brendol, had an affair with the kitchen help from the flight academy on Arkanis. Hux is a bastard child. You can do better than that."

"That doesn't matter, not to me. My mother said my father was skilled in the cockpit. Pol Ionone worked all his life behind a desk and was half-Zabrak. I think she had me from someone else." She had seen the holovids of Ionone, looking for a resemblance in the dark-eyed male.

"Jaina…, there are things you don't understand. Ionone was considered dead after the bombing in Coruscant…besides, Hux likely won't live long."

"I don't care."

…

"Are you going to give me a reason?"

"No."

Soramar sat hunched forward, his remaining hand wrapped around the black bacta bandaged stump. He had changed into a loosely belted robe and soft trousers. Pale blue tendrils of smoke-like tattoos crawled down the back of his hand disappearing beneath the sleeve.

"I don't like losing to a nobody."

"Jaina has undergone training for months. She isn't nobody."

"You say that," said the Zabrak aggrieved. "You say that now when you thought so too."

"What happened?" Ren chose to disregard the latter half of the statement.

I sensed something within her.

"I was jealous. We can use the _Force_ , but in the twilight of the Republic, there were Jedi who were gifted in different ways. Jaina Ionone doesn't view the _Force_ the way we do, she sees it as a separate consciousness existing within her and around her." The knight hung his head. "I don't have such an ability. Force sensitives are rare enough. I was wrong in persisting with my attack."

"You showed admirable skill even when disarmed." There was something else kept hidden, he could feel it. Soramar wasn't deserving of mind-probing, yet his gut instinct felt wrong. The Zabrak never gave in so easily.

"Don't let it happen again."

…

She entered the training hall before midnight, slightly uneasy in mind after going over the sparring match. Something had been off and she couldn't put her finger on it. Jaina thought to meditate and maybe practice a few kata.

Someone was already there.

"Oh!" BB-9e ducked behind her. Jaina stilled on the threshold, realizing she had been so lost in her thoughts that she hadn't sensed his presence. "Ren…, I'll come back later."

 _I can't meditate in front of him_.

He stood in the center of the training hall, light saber raised. Blaster droids lay in pieces around him. "Stay. I want to see if you've improved."

"Saskia reports everything to you. You don't need to see."

She felt the slight pressure on her temples. _The Force_ …she could feel the dark side thickening the atmosphere. Jaina forced a shrug and closed the door. "Prepare to be disappointed." She reached for her saber as the droid rolled to a safe distance away.

Ren slid into Form VII, his stance wide, aggression pouring off of him in waves. Jaina chose Form III, the way of Resilience. She could hold him off almost indefinitely with the defensive stances of the Form.

 _She had no intention of harming him._

 _She was…predictable._

The blade drop of the opening stance suggested the tightly coiled spring of her body. Jaina countered his heavy blow with a strong upper cut, changing angles with deft precision. Ren kept up the barrage; knowing he had the advantage of height and weight against her. Jaina retreated a few steps, evading his lancing strike. She retaliated with a swift stance change, slipping into Form IV's kinetic flow.

He could feel nothing of her emotions. No killing intent, no bloodlust. Jaina held her emotions close to her chest, hiding them within. Perhaps he had been wrong about her. She couldn't be swayed to the dark side - and yet, Ren had felt the darkness in her.

"You don't want to hurt me." Once he had spoken the opposite to Rey, surprised she had harbored such viciousness in her soul.

"What's the purpose of inflicting harm?" Jaina mused, her kick skimming inches above his wrist. The blade followed, smelting the air; Ren saw his opening, lunging for her side. Jaina switched hands, blocking one-handed, the saber in a drop stance. Frustration crawled beneath his skin as they broke apart. He was used to the strong style that had no finesse, no defense, only offensive capabilities that would certainly be lethal if he landed a hit.

Did he want to kill her?

The strike he missed could've cut her open, a slight angle change and the blade would've entered her side resulting in a fatal wound.

He never fought with anything less than killing intent. The thought pestered him now, if Rey had lived and she had been in Jaina's place, would he have held back from harming her? Ren became gradually aware of Jaina watching him. She held her stance, but there was something off about her. She wasn't consciously present, she was reading him.

He already knew the answer.

She powered off the light saber, disappointed.

…

"That's odd."

BB-9e rolled after her, following her down the corridors of the Tarkin. Jaina went to the cafeteria, fully awake now. Any thoughts of sleep had fled. _He was thinking of Rey, imagining her in my place_. _He was wondering how it would've felt to train her instead of me_. Jaina received a cup of caf from a protocol droid with its unceasing operation. Officers from the bridge during the graveyard shift, often came and went with cups of the hot, caffeinated drink.

Jaina carried her cup out of the cafeteria slowly; she had struggled with the concept of detachment for months, uncertain which path she had wanted to take.

Ren wouldn't have hurt Rey, that girl he knew for a few moments. "That's what he was thinking and feeling." The droid asked in droidspeak _if she was still going on about Ren._

"How can I stop?" He was here on the ship. She could feel him without casting her senses far. He was here and safe. Every part of her sang with rejoicing that he was alive. The fleet had been conscious of various plots by opportunist factions to take over command of the First Order. But, nothing had come of them so far. Jaina felt selfish she was keeping Saskia away from her duties as a knight. Surely, Ren needed the knights around him…or did he not need anything or anyone?

"I don't want to understand the Force. I feel like I do in some ways already." She wasn't ready to commit to becoming one of his knights, it wasn't enough. It would never be enough to be a few steps away, always present but never close enough, she wasn't enough herself and it bothered her. Even after all this time, he was thinking of Rey.

She had never imagined it was possible to stop loving or to feel anything less than those feelings for someone. Jaina knew her views were ridiculous, naïve. There were love stories in the old holonovels some of the officers bought with credits secretly and downloaded to private datapads. "Don't worry, I'm starting to hate him now." Finally after nervous pacing up and down the hall outside the turbolift, she took the lift down to the level where her quarters were and tried to sleep.

…

She was sitting on the floor, legs crossed, fingertips touching the floor. She looked strangely peaceful on a ship built for war. The droid rotated behind her, sighting him. Ren held his hand up for silence. _The droid was…afraid of him?_ Given the machine's experiences with the _Force_ , it was understandable. The droid was devoted to her in the same way R2-D2 had followed Luke around.

He pushed thoughts of his former master out of his mind. Jaina wasn't aware of his presence thus far. Why was she meditating? Had Saskia showed her?

His irritation caused a ripple in the Force.

Jaina's eyes fluttered open, she frowned realizing she had been observed.

"You shouldn't rely on meditation. That's a Jedi technique."

"I was centering myself for Form II." Jaina mildly protested, picking herself up off the floor. "Makashi is finesse, artfulness and economy of motion."

Yes, he had seen it all with her spare motions, her precise footwork and flash of the saber. Jaina had impressed him before. "Who showed you how to perform Form II?"

"I can't say. Leave a girl her secrets, won't you?" She smiled mischievously, winking. The droid orbited around her legs, rolling to a stop when she did. "Couldn't sleep?"

 _Why did he come? Because he knew she would be there?_

He always slept lightly and rose at whatever hour he pleased. He had no pressing duties such as a pilot nor kept the strict routine of an officer.

"It's none of your concern."

Jaina accepted the dismissive tone without comment, striding out of the training hall.

…

 _I don't understand why they follow him_.

"I think I've improved."

BB-9e had returned from having its exterior chassis repaired. Jaina rubbed the scuffed silver sides of the droid, fondly. "Right?" The droid trilled happily from having the dents in its siding replaced. Jaina missed conversing freely with Master Ti, knowing very well the Force users onboard would sense the light side being drawn on. Ren was already suspicious of her meditation.

"C'mon, let's go practice Soresu."

…

The first of the floating droids exited a vent in the wall.

Jaina knew her Form III was weak. _Once she had mastered Shii Cho, the plan was to advance her into Form III. Master Ti had already spoken of Kenobi's willingness to train her in the combat style he had used during his lifetime_. Jaina pushed aside her extraneous thoughts, settling into the backhand stance, sensing the serenity of _Force_ around her, with her. She deflected the red bolts with a flick of her wrist, her movements tight, controlled. Some of them struck the floor, sizzling into nothingness. Another was deflected into the wall, leaving a sizable crater behind. Jaina had little time to glance at it - more were coming.

A slight frown touched her face.

 _She hadn't cleared the round_.

 _Why -_

BB-9e hit her legs suddenly, knocking her off her feet. Jaina struck the floor, narrowly avoiding the hail of blaster fire. "What?!" She stared wildly around. "The droids are…," _live rounds_. BB-9e cycled around her, beeping shrilly. Jaina scrambled to the left, sending a _Force_ push to dislodge the nearest from their trajectory.

 _Who could've done this…?_

She staggered up to her feet, performing a quick deflective slash, realizing there was too many of them now. BB-9e ducked behind her quickly. _It was now or never_ , instead of reaching for the _Force_ , she surrendered herself to the energy. Jaina felt it all around her, in the places where the crew dwelled, where some slept and farther away on planets they drifted past, she felt their life force brush against her own, filling her with renewed purpose.

…

 _Battle meditation…,_

He watched her display of Form V, channeling her aggression into refinement. Jaina moved elegantly, perfectly in rhythm with her emotions. Her focus was complete, revolving on her heels, slashing with a complex set of moves he recognized from Saskia Ren paired with the tightly controlled back and forth stance of Makashi.

Jaina had the potential to become the jewel of Ren's Empire. Soramar hesitated, considering the long road his actions had taken him. _It was too late_ , he thought suddenly. _Ren would know -_ before he could lose his nerve, he stepped out from behind the column, saber igniting. The little droid alerted her to his presence - if she hadn't already sensed him through the _Force_.

"Why?" She seized the rest of the droids he had modified with live rounds, hurtling them into the walls.

He sensed her confusion. _Jaina thought Ren had sent him to kill her. Little trust there was in her for their Master. But, why?_

"You know why." Soramar said carefully, "he doesn't want you, he doesn't need you. You're nothing to us."

 _Ah, there…the heart of the matter_. Humans had only one heart in their chests unlike the Zabrak race, and he glimpsed it breaking in her face.

"I know." She drew in trembling breath, the color had drained from Jaina's face. "I'm not her." Sweat shone on her brow, her eyes flickered, the blue deepening in them. "But, you're wrong …the dark side is in my blood. You're the one who is nothing." Then, he watched as a subtle change spread over her.

Gone was the trembling woman, she had become something else, a nexus of tightly controlled emotion. Her Force signature blazed brightly like a dark star, ferocious and untamed like her spirit. Jaina dropped into the opening stance for Shii Cho. Soramar knew the weaknesses of Form I, smirking as he swept into his favored Form V high cut. Jaina blocked him, parrying with a side to side move, then she adjusted her grip, angling for his torso. The whoosh of the blade skimmed above his body as he twisted around, stabbing toward her unprotected side. Jaina parried low, her knees bent for the inevitable clash. Red sparks flew around them as he pressed the advantage of his weight. Jaina broke out of the lock, parrying fast from the hip upward.

"You have too much of the Sith in you." Soramar remarked; she could be thrown off, he knew. Ren was her weakness, the key to defeating her. "The Sith of the past lie rotting in their graves. Ren will kill you once he sees the Sith reborn in you!"

"I told you once- I'm a pilot." She broke his defense, coming at him with a renewed surge of blows. Their sabers clashed, sliding against one another then breaking apart. The red glow twisted their shadows into crimson specters of the past. "I never wanted this-" she spun around, her saber lowered. Soramar expected another futile zone two move, instead, she thrust her hand out, seizing him by the throat.

Soramar felt the deceptively gentle grasp tighten. _This was no Force choke, this was a Force crush._ He could feel his larynx folding, his breaths becoming choked wheezing.

"You're a - a- monster!"

Jaina pushed him down to one knee, yellow slashed through the blue of her eyes. The dark side pulsed in triumph, thickening the air. She was gone, he could see it. Her Force signature was slashed red descending into an intense abyssal black. The light of a star had died, reborn into a pulsar of magnetic negativity. The Force around her was a curious void, an emptiness yearning to absorb him.

"If I am, what are you?" She was frightening in her calmness. Soramar felt the finger-holds in his flesh loosen. Jaina's hand opened up, shifting to his brow. Invisible fingertips closed over his skull, clenching his flesh in an unrelenting vise. Soramar was a Padawan again in Skywalker's Jedi Academy. He could see Saskia as dark as he was pale with her many braids, trailed by a little youngling girl with as many tiny braids. Ben Solo lingered like a shade in the background of his memories.

Jaina lingered for a split second on the memory; he could feel nothing from her. No emotion surveying the boy Kylo Ren had been. Then, she moved on, rifling through his memories, the way she would the pages of an ancient book.

He saw the light foil surface from her probing. He saw the hand that had once wielded it. _The face, the woman's red lips bared in a snarl, the coils of hair the color of indigo ink spilling down white shoulders._ "You look like her." He felt the need to explain, to unburden the thoughts he had buried away from Ren. "So very beautiful. Your mother and you."

"You killed her."

"All of them."

"She was my…," _grandmother_. "Why?" The ice in her tone froze the blood in his veins. He felt the coldness of the dark side manifesting around them, a living thing of malignant intention. He had never felt such malice, such desire to dominate.

"I had reason."

Jaina slowly shook her head, she had bitten through her lip, her control never wavering for an instant. "There is never a reason to end life." Then, he felt her _Force_ inside him, tearing through his mental barriers, exposing his gut-wrenching cowardice and lusts for what they were.

…

 _There's something wrong._

Saskia disconnected the call from the terminal, concerned. Soramar should've left on the transport back to his assigned posting aboard the Executrix, yet Captain Amaral reported the transport had arrived without him. "What's going on?" She frowned, pinching the bridge of her nose.

It was unlike the Zabrak to disregard a direct order from Ren, yet he had for no apparent reason gone off the radar. Or had he? She thought back to the day of their arrival, his first words to Jaina.

 _"That light saber…,"_

 _He collected them. The blades of Inquisitors, dark siders who had come from faraway sectors. The light foil he preferred above the white blade, the crimson and black durasteel…,_ Saskia remembered the second year after the academy's destruction.

 _"Where did you get that blade from?" She liked beautiful things, they always caught her eye. She had felt some envy with the delicate metal work sheathing the intact kyber crystal. The Zabrak's words evaded her. They had been on mission together. He had disappeared on her for a while. When he had returned, the light foil had been clipped to his belt. The stench of blood had been thick on his clothing._

"Jade…a woman who was connected to- no, couldn't be." She grabbed her saber from the table and ran from the room.

…

"I know I don't have to remind you."

Luke's weathered face, his look gently remonstrating, mechanical and flesh hands on the shoulders of a scowling boy whose age was indeterminate. Faded tattoos from impermanent ink striped the strong features, framed the pale eye and sullen lip. The hairless scalp had numerous horn-like protrusions through the flesh denoting his Zabrakian origins.

"There are others who weren't so fortunate as you to have their parents living."

The old man was always preaching about good will and kindness to others.

"So what's his story?"

Luke sent the boy off to Tekka's care, for stories of the old days, indicating they should walk. "He's been here a number of years, before you in fact. His family was targeted by the Empire and because of that, he lost them all. I found him unfortunately too late."

"Was it Darth Vader who killed them?"

"No, it was another emissary sent by the Emperor to collect Force sensitive children." As if noticing his curious look, Luke elaborated quieter. "One of the Inquisitors."

Luke faded from his mind's eye before he could conceive of his dream-self attacking his master - former master. Ren lay awake in the darkness of his sleeping quarters, the sheet crumpled down to his midriff. He hadn't dreamed of his Academy days in years. Why had the memory resurfaced? He had challenged Daran - Soramar to a duel and the Zabrak boy had cried when he lost.

He had called him an orphaned weakling and Skywalker had taken him to task for the harsh words. The memory of Luke filled him with rage. Even in death, the man's memory wouldn't let him alone. Shoving back the sheets, he sat up in the gloom, consciously opening himself up to the dark side, hoping Vader would answer him this time.

A few minutes passed and he felt nothing but the reflection of his own strength. He slowly lowered his hands from his face. He felt something else in the wavelength of the _Force_.

Soramar and Jaina clashing somewhere not far. He felt it strongly then, the pulse of their Force signatures, one light, the other dark pushing and repelling the other. What was going on? He had distinctly ordered the knight to return to his station days ago.

 _Why was this happening now?_

Rising, he hurriedly dressed and left the room. Saskia exited the turbolift at the opposite end of the hallway, she had forgotten her helmet in her haste. "Ren! Soramar never returned to the Executrix!"

"I know."

Her dark brown eyes flashed in disapproval, "you knew, but then - what does this to have to do with her? I don't understand."

I don't either. Instead of speaking his thoughts aloud, he went ahead of Saskia to the doors of the training hall - the keypad had been blasted from the inside. Drawing his saber, he cut through the metal panel into the interior lit by the glow of another blade. Jaina released the knight with a glance in their direction. Saskia pushed past him, scrambling inside. Her eyes surveyed the shattered blaster droids to BB-9e, who rolled out from behind a column.

"Is it true? Did this scum rape and murder her?"

Soramar collapsed onto his side, spasmodically twitching. Saskia noticed the blankness of his eyes, the vagueness of a surface memory from his mind caused her to draw back. She felt herself nod slowly, words alone couldn't explain the shame she felt.

…

"I saw what he did to her."

 _It was years ago_.

"He had gotten into the records, he had found personal correspondence between my grandfather and her. He knew they had a daughter who had disappeared after the Empire's fall."

 _He was always looking for that daughter - my mother, in secret. I think he was the reason why she fled Chandrila and came to the First Order under anonymity_.

 _On a mission, he found himself in the same city where they lived -_

"He raped her, tortured her and then killed her with her own blade." She held the deactivated light foil in her hands. Saskia had crossed her arms tightly over her chest, sensing the hurt behind the words.

"He said I was beautiful like her."

 _I saw what he wanted._

"He was going to injure me enough to leave me conscious while he took what he wanted."

Saskia flinched, her disgust growing. She was sorry they had ever taken the groveling worm with them. "Don't think of it, Jaina. Just try and get some rest."

 _I can't._

"I felt her emotions. I saw her last moments. Because of him, I really am alone. It wasn't just her. He hunted down and killed anyone remotely connected to the Jade clan as well as other Inquisitors and their families who had escaped detection."

"But, why? That's what I don't understand. Why would Soramar have gone to such lengths to destroy part of the Empire's remnants?"

"I just don't know either."

…

Ren passed Saskia in the outer chamber. Her look said it all: _She's distressed, comfort her._

 _It's not my place._

"Listen," she whirled around fiercely. "You brought him here, you wanted her to become one of us. It's one thing to kill an enemy, it's another to go after someone who has nothing to do with the First Order."

He brushed off Saskia's gloved hand, with a sneer. He cared nothing for the First Order, only for what he could use them for. "Perhaps, your allegiances need to aligned in with reality instead of Captain Radford."

"The Dauntless is my posting. You put me there. Don't you try and twist it around and say my loyalties lie with him."

"We'll speak more of this later." He could feel the agitation in the medbay, the source coming from only one person.

…

"So is that what the Knights of Ren are, scum and murderers?"

She was understandably embittered. _If his own grandmother, Padme Amidala, had lived after giving birth to her children and been murdered by a dark sider years later_ , he wouldn't have stopped at torture. Ren refused to give into the initial reaction of anger. She was right in some ways and most importantly, he felt compassion for her.

"Soramar was always scum. The others are different. Once you meet them…"

"I don't want to become one of your knights if it means giving up my humanity."

"You will- " ah, yes, he could feel his vent of anger opening up inside. She was denying him, rejecting him out of some false notion of right and wrong. All the light he saw around her, was vibrant, pure. The darkness had receded - she hadn't killed the Zabrak out of pity, only because it had been wrong. "You have no choice." Ah, but she did. She always had a choice. Jaina's blue eyes cut like knives, challenging him.

She was brave, he thought. Brave and foolish. Anyone else with a light saber or a blaster looking at him the way she did now, and he would've cut them down.

"There is always a choice and sometimes you make the wrong one."

He exhaled quietly, placing a restraining collar on his own emotions. "I can wipe your mind of those memories from Soramar if you'll let me."

Jaina said nothing, watching him approach. She sat on the elevated chair for the droid to work on stitching flesh wounds. Her legs were spread as he maneuvered between them, his hand extended to the side of her face.

"Wait."

He could feel the echo of her thoughts, a slight buzz of energy tingling his palm through the leather glove. He suddenly had the strange urge to remove the covering from his hand. The cloth acted as a dampener, he couldn't feel her Force signature as strong as he would've thought given their proximity.

"No. I want to keep them. So I'll remember and won't keep wondering if I'm really alone or not."

In her, he saw resignation, calm acceptance. It was unlike Rey's denial, her deep-seated refusal to accept abandonment. In hindsight, it was ridiculous. Children were abandoned all over the galaxy every single day.

"When I was little, my mother came to say goodbye to me. They had recommended she leave to accelerate the process of removing my identity."

The room changed - Ren couldn't say how. It was the same Star Destroyer, the same rooms he had walked through, but time had shifted around them. The Force bloomed in her, expanding sight, sound and memory, painting the hazy image from her mind into reality.

"They locked me in a room with a looping video of conditioning playing. There was a vent in the room, I climbed up to it and escaped."

The artificial light faded, he could feel slight claustrophobia from an enclosed space even though he remained standing, motionless. She wasn't projecting into his mind, she was projecting outward -

"She was in the hangar. Something was guiding me there, it was the Force, I suppose. I climbed out behind crates, where astromechs serviced themselves. I ran past them, trying to find her."

He could see the main hangar of the Star Destroyer, the energy field where ships passed through, black-suited pilots conversed and Stormtroopers kept watch.

"I saw her about to board a shuttle heading for the unknown regions."

 _I was going to use the Force._

Ren could feel the energy gathering, building up - then abruptly dissipate into hollow grief.

"But, she said, you're nothing to me now. Go back."

 _It's because of you, that I'm alone now_.

"I stopped. She had never said those words to me. I felt," her voice caught, "I felt the floor disappear beneath me." She exhaled thickly, tears in her throat, glistening wetly in her eyes. "I realized," she said with difficulty. "I realized I was alone too." The energy petered out into the essence of grief, a smothering sadness that lied against his skin. It was more than that. She had her arms around him, her head buried in his chest. Ren hadn't even realized she had moved forward until she was wrapped around his torso, her legs hooked around his hips.

"I knew it." Her features screwed up as she forced the words out. "Every day. Until six months ago, when I learned who my grandfather was. Deep down, I had this secret hope that I could find them only to find out now that he had killed them all."

"Let go." Physically. Emotionally, those were wounds he couldn't force her to get rid of. "Jaina." A slight warning. She was motionless, hugging him with her body, unselfconscious like a child. Ren moved his hands to her shoulders, trying to pry her off. "Let go of me." He applied pressure gradually, until he squeezed her shoulder blades hard.

 _I could use the Force_. He thought so immediately when she gave no sign of letting go. She wasn't thinking of how he felt beneath her hands, or how she could feel his heartbeat under her cheek. He could feel nothing, no desire, no lust or affection - just a physical need for closeness. Reassurance.

She was such a child.

It struck him then that she didn't know what to do with her feelings. She didn't know how to express them in so many ways. The conditioning had stunted her emotive level into something he had a hard time understanding. Once he had been almost the same, craving affection, needing something more than empty promises. But, not no more.

Almost unconsciously, the dark side reacted. He felt the energy leave his palms, repulsing, painful - her grasp loosened up. And he pushed her away.

"Come aboard the Ravager."

"No, I'd rather stay here for now."

"That wasn't a request."

"I know it wasn't."

When he looked into her eyes, he saw nothing reflected in them. Only a wall, unbreachable by no one.

…

 _I saw her eyes._

Golden irises, glittering black pupils. The eyes of a Sith. Soramar lay shattered on the hard edge of the prison cot. Ren stood on the other side of the door, peering through the slot.

"Shall we station more troopers, sir?"

"No, that won't be necessary."

He listened to the heavy tread of Ren's footsteps walking away. He breathed through his mouth, inhaling the metallic scent of confinement.

She had made him feel things.

Agony.

Torment.

The physical pain of being penetrated forcefully.

She had made him feel everything his victims had endured before the bitter release of death.

Jaina was an abomination that only he understood the danger of. She couldn't be allowed to live. That power, that unnatural ability had to die with her. Soramar's eyes flickered to the door, how foolish of Ren to think he could be contained by so little. He was doing him a favor, killing her before she could turn - a knife's edge and she could fall into the darkness.

Slowly, he rose and seized control of the Stormtrooper's mind. Their lack of individuality made them perfect mental targets. Soramar waited while the door opened, while they brought his armor and his helmet and another blade from his collection. He never went anywhere without the set of light saber hilts.

Then, the slaughter began.

…

 _I can't sleep._

She had been treated for the blaster burns from the droids. Her shoulder was still sore when she turned over on the narrow cot. "One more scar for the collection." She had said to BB-9e. The droid had plugged itself into a holo terminal receptacle across the room, unable to find one closer.

"Come aboard the Ravager."

She was scared of herself.

"No, I'd rather stay here for now."

Ren had given her a look, "that wasn't a request."

"I know it wasn't."

They had ended on that note; she had been shipped to the medbay while Soramar was clapped in binders and taken to the brig. It was without precedent, none of his knights had ever rebelled. She was aware that he was considering letting Soramar go with a warning, yet she couldn't agree. He had attacked with the intent to kill which was a Sith mindset, he had been blinded enough by something that drove him to attack her when she was alone.

Ren's mercy was something that disturbed her.

He had been merciless on several occasions, yet when it came to one of his knights, he held back. Why? Was Soramar acting on his orders? She couldn't refute the fact that he had said something to that effect. Part of her wanted to deny the possibility of Ren ordering her death, insisting that the Zabrak had only wanted to trip her up. The other rational part of her mind, pointed out that Soramar had seemed to insist she was weak, hence the reason why she was failing. She was a failure in Ren's eyes. Then, there was also the dark side. She had gone straight to it during the fight, allowed herself to feel emotion. She had felt powerful, she had known exactly what to do feinting with a weaker light saber form only to trap the Zabrak with a Force crush. That hadn't been enough. She wanted to cause pain, see it ripple through his face, see his body convulse with agony.

 _I tortured him, the way grandfather did to his victims._

 _I couldn't see the light anymore._

 _There was nothing but the darkness that fed my strength. It was intoxicating, it was the power that I had long denied inside me. It was my birthright_.

Then, she had felt Ren, his Force signature a muddled grey spiked with light. She had felt it and him, seen his face flash through her head and she retreated in guilt, pulled away from the darkness. The dark side sank into the lake in the mindscape, submerging with her outer emotions. Jaina had felt drained physically and emotionally. The light was there for her, but she hadn't tapped into it.

The pain was needling, she shifted onto her back, staring up at the ceiling. She couldn't sleep anymore than she could resolve her feelings. She had felt his worry. The emotion had tightened his chest, made it difficult to breathe. Ren had felt something else for her that she hesitated to name. He could've stayed away if he had ordered her killed, but he had pushed her away in the end when all she had wanted was comfort.

Then, there was also Saskia.

They had forged a training bond similar to the Master-Padawan bond prevalent during the age of the Jedi Order. She could feel when Saskia was particularly annoyed with the Captain of the Stardestroyer she was assigned to or gleeful acquiring a piece of adornment. She was certain Saskia could feel her emotions as well. The knight hadn't seemed pleased she had turned to the dark side.

 _Maybe, I'm reading too much into it_. She pressed her hand to her temple, absently massaging her brow.

…

"We shouldn't have left her there." Saskia rarely spoke up. It wasn't her place to question Ren's motives. She hadn't liked what she had seen in Soramar's mind. His inner desires had been gutted, flayed open, something only a master of mental manipulation could've achieved. Jaina had tortured him, but the scum deserved it.

She received a slight shrug in response.

"Ren, what if it isn't safe?"

"Soramar knows his place."

"He attacked Jaina with the attempt to kill." The smooth glide of the turbolift descended down to the belly of the Tarkin. Saskia's brow furrowed, she crossed her arms over her chest. "Soramar knows she is meant to become one of us. If he turned on her then he can't be trusted."

"Is she meant to become like you? She seems bent on defying me at every turn."

"You can't simply ignore what he did."

"What do you think will happen if I kill him without reason?"

"You have a reason, so do I." Saskia turned fully to face him. "Soramar was one of the weak links among the students. When he came with us, you took him under your wing. He was different, I'll grant that. But, whatever he is now, he's not the same." He's a stranger. A sick, neurotic stranger. "If you're not concerned for Jaina, let me be. I'm the one who is training her, she's my apprentice."

Her words stirred a memory in his mind. Ren remembered Snoke, "my faithful apprentice." Someone else had called him Padawan once and betrayed him. It was true he had helped Soramar, apprenticed him to overcome certain weaknesses. If he turned on Soramar now, he would be no better than his former Master.

 _What was she worth to him?_

 _Nothing_ , Ren could almost say. She was nothing compared to the bond he shared with his knights.

Jaina was a stranger. She hadn't had a place with his knights until the incident onboard the Supremacy had proved her worthy of his notice. Then, he remembered her words and her arms wrapped around him longing to be held and reassured.

 _"Because I give a damn whether you live or die."_

"Let me take her tonight. I'll take her to the Dauntless just like you wanted."

"There's no time in space."

"Are you really going to be sarcastic with me now?" Saskia punched the number in the panel, the turbolift glided to a premature stop. "Go ahead, then. I'm staying."

…

Jaina felt the slight waver in the air, the calming serenity of the light dispelling her dark thoughts. She turned and bowed slightly in respect. "Master Ti."

The Togruta frowned at her, "I'm disappointed in you." Shaak Ti was never one to mince words.

"I know."

"You let your emotions take over. You shouldn't have relied on the dark side to win."

"I didn't think - no, that's no excuse."

"Your feelings for Ren clouded your judgment. The Zabrak made you angry so it was easier to strike out to harm rather than disarm him."

"I almost lost myself. I couldn't see the light until I felt Ren."

"There is no real light in him, Jaina. I'm sorry."

"I felt it, Master. I felt some in him and it made me pull back. I know I need to learn detachment, but if I do, I'm afraid I won't be able to feel anything, that I simply won't care."

"It's a fine line between detachment and not caring about anything, Jaina. You have to learn it. I can feel the darkness gathering on the ship. You're in danger."

"From who? Ren?"

Shaak Ti indicated no with a slight shake. "Arm yourself." She faded from sight. Jaina set down the paper cup she had been carrying and went to find BB-9e. "Hey, do you have my light saber?"

The droid came awake with a beep, sliding open a hidden compartment on its side. One tensile claw emerged with the hilt of the saber end first. "Thanks." She had no belt so she carried it around, retrieving her cup from the sink edge. The water onboard was filtered through mass tanks in the bilge. The result was a slightly metallic taste infused with a special vitamin blend.

The water hit the back of her throat, pleasantly cool. Beyond the door, she heard metal crash and the sizzle of frying circuits. She lowered the cup from her lips, turning slowly toward the door. The familiar hum of a blade approached unseen.

"What…?"

It was Soramar.

His mask was flat with a diamond-patterned grill filed into sharp Durasteel points. He wore a loose cloak over his tunic and trousers. Jaina glimpsed the saber slash from her earlier strike, surmising he had escaped the brig or was let loose. With Shaak Ti's warning in mind, she dropped the cup, snatching the light saber from the counter.

Jaina dropped into the defensive form for Shii Cho, the blade held perpendicular to her body, its hum resonant in the air. For the first time in her life, she had begun to feel the pull to the light. Running her mind through a litany of kata, she discarded the notion of killing him. It wasn't her place to enact judgment.

He swept into a charge, imbued by a Force run. Jaina evaded, whirling around to counter his zone three strike. She backed it up with a series of quick deflects, building up for a disarming move. Soramar switched grips, thrusting his hand toward the equipment around them.

Glass flew, metal trays rose up. She couldn't deflect them all. Jaina shot a quick glance, shouting, "get out of here!" He half-turned glimpsing the droid rolling quickly out of sight.

Jaina twirled the saber in a defensive circle, the red arc becoming a blur of light. She had practiced a blending of Makashi and Soresu for defense. The blade cut through a majority of the things he threw at her, with the Force, she propelled a number of them away. In the moment of her distraction, he charged at her. Jaina fell into her practiced back and forth stance, the sabers skated against one another, eliciting a shower of crimson sparks that spattered the floor.

…

In the doorway of the shuttle, Ren stilled.

"Sir?"

He held his hand up. Something - something was needling him. A memory or a feeling. Soramar never gave up so easily, never backed down. Memories of their sparring matches went through his head, _the Zabrak baring his teeth, snarling in incoherent fury_.

The darkness he felt within the Tarkin wasn't one of them. _It was madness_.

"Send a squadron to the medbay. I have to check on something." He turned and hurried down the ramp back into the hangar. Once inside the turbolift, he descended down to the prison level, contacting the bridge.

"Supreme Leader Ren, what can I do for you?" The voice that came through was polished, brisk.

"Check the security feed for the prison level."

"Ah- okay, what're we looking for?" Other voices came through the channel, the commander issued orders to them. Ren glanced up at the number counter. The lift moved far too slowly for his taste.

"Looks empty. The console at least - that's odd. The warden isn't supposed to leave his station."

The lift halted at the end of a corridor. "I have a feeling…," he said grimly, striding out. He saw nothing at first, nothing except empty rooms with barred doors, somewhere water dripped from an exposed pipe. Ren didn't find the blood until the panoramic view of the camera verged out of sight.

He glanced over the beheaded guards, the wounds raw, dripping viscera. The foul stench of death was familiar to him, yet this was controlled execution. It had been done while they knelt under the knight's control. Ren turned away and found the other lift. The prison warden lay slumped against the interior wall, an x-shaped gash spilled blood across the man's chest, cooked intestines sprawled across the man's creased trousers.

"He's escaped."

…

BB-9e left the medbay behind, rolling as fast as its processors would allow. Down the hallway, past closed doors to the turbolift. Once inside, the droid calculated the odds of a legion taking down the knight. The lift glided to a stop, the doors sliding open to one of the floors. Immediately beeping out a message in binary, the droid rolled down the hallway, searching for someone, anyone.

"Droid!"

It was the female knight.

BB-9e beeped frantically, trying to explain how much danger the former pilot was in.

"She's -what-then, that surge in the dark side-I knew it!" Saskia reached for her saber hilt, running for the nearest turbolift. She punched in her code quickly, stepping inside once the doors revolved open. The droid rolled in beside her, feeling its inner processors overheating from panic."Ren," Saskia sent a call from her wrist comm. "Soramar's escaped. He's gone to kill Jaina." She felt the turbolift rising, her hand slightly shaking as she tightened her grasp around the hilt of her saber. "It's too late to save him. _I'm sorry_."

…

The doors slid open behind her. Jaina turned, her saber lifted. She had gone through several interconnecting doors, exiting through the surgery bay into the main corridor. A squadron of Stormtroopers exited, rifles primed. The leader sighted her, speaking into his commlink. "Halt!" They dropped into assault mode. "We've sighted the target."

She turned slightly, sensing the disturbance in the _Force_.

Soramar exited from the same door she had minutes before. Jaina froze, he had been tracking her the entire time.

 _He was reconnaissance, wasn't he?_

She swung into the doorway opposite her, barely missing the sudden hail of blaster fire. The rifles discharged all at once.

Jaina shut her eyes - the thunderous assault stopped.

She heard the creak of the white armor.

The rifles flew upward suddenly, ripped from their gloved hands to the ceiling. She felt her heart in her throat - briefly considering a suicidal charge. If only he was distracted, she might be able to take him down. Her eyes slid over the wall, opposite, the troopers -

 _Run_ , she thought, her hand slid over the panel slotting over the keys. The hum of the saber burned close to her side. The blasters dropped in unison, only one remained, sliding in a perfect arc across the troopers. Jaina felt the panel give, retracting into the wall. She stepped back as the pressurized door resealed itself. _Force_ -punching the lock mechanism, she backed away from the door, flinching at the distinctive pew-pew of blaster fire followed by the thud of bodies hitting the floor.

It was over in seconds.

She started running again, through the opposite door into part of research and development's lab. She glanced over the counters lined with glass beakers, the microscopes with their antiquated slides. In her panic, she had forgotten the map of the Star Destroyer. The intersecting corridors, the maps she had learned as a child, curious about the ship around her.

Hearing the door cave in beneath the slashing heat of a light saber close by, she spun to face the door she had just come from. She could run and run and it would never be enough. She had known that, rather than stealing a TIE fighter, jumping to another system to escape the First Order. She had known she would be found unless she learned how to use the _Force_ , learned how to fight. Once again, she stilled her breathing, ignoring her physical pain. She reached deep within for the serenity she had felt, for the light - and all her fear was gone.

…

 _They had sent the squadron for a reason_. He knew he had taken too long - underestimated her evasion tactics. Jaina was far more cunning than he would've thought. Soramar stalked through the labs belonging to research and development, long emptied of their usefulness. Jaina was beyond him, waiting somewhere, her balance the light for its peace and the darkness for its power. He had felt her determination, her sudden release of fear. Soramar stepped into a large gallery devoid of its equipment and saw her at last.

 _She thought to challenge him still._

 _She thought to get out of this alive._

 _She was mistaken._

He sprinted toward her, injecting the _Force_ into his legs.

She still hadn't learned the weakness of Shii Cho. He found himself grinning as he struck aside her wide swing with a single calculated move. In the second before she corrected her misstep, he carved an arcing path across her stomach. She screamed in agony, falling back. Blood sizzled on the edge of his light saber, evaporating into nothingness. Soramar advanced on her, a mad grin twisting his thin lips into a sneer of triumph.

She stumbled away from him, one arm clasped loosely over the split cloth where the wound lay. Any deeper and the wound would've gutted her. He almost regretted it was going to be over so soon.

Soramar let her reach the hallway, powering off his own light saber. Stretching his hand out, he summoned her saber to his grip. Jaina heard it ignite behind her as a _Force_ push sent her skating across the floor, tearing the wound. She groaned from where she had fallen, pushing herself up to stare at him. Soramar clicked his tongue, motioning with the Force. Jaina lifted up to her knees, frozen in his grasp.

"It's alright to be afraid." Soramar looked over the slice across her belly, the flesh was burned, the blood boiled away. He was almost surprised she had gotten as far as she had without collapsing. Soramar focused slightly, noticing the fluctuating points of her Force signature. It had wavered before during their sparring bout, then he had seen it darken facing against the droids. She was drawing on the light now to keep her conscious. It was an admirable effort, one he could see straining her body.

Her Force signature glowed with the light of a sun, radiance he couldn't bear to look at for long.

"I…I'm not afraid." Her voice contained the ice of a frozen world. "You were…when Jade came for you." Soramar slowed to a stop, igniting her light saber. "Jade had heard of a child strong with the Force. He traveled far for this child who had the promise of becoming the Emperor's Hand. He found where they were hiding with no trouble at all. He cut them down, all of them." _All of the boy's protectors._ "The boy's mother was last." Soramar leveled the saber to her shoulder, the burning heat smelt through the layer of cloth, burning through to the skin. He couldn't look away from her. "Jade tortured and killed her while the boy watched." She had seen it all when the light saber had cut into her body. She had seen the truth behind the blow, the mindless fury of the small child locked away inside the Zabrak's soul.

"You were afraid when Jade looked inside you. You were scared he would see the sniveling coward you really were. Jade let you fall to the floor. He stood over you and said _garbage_." Soramar's hand twitched, he drew back the saber, preparing to sweep her head off. "He didn't want you. No one wanted you, not even Skywalker." She smiled thinly, amused. "Because you're weak."

"Shut up!" He roared, slicing forward - the blade froze midair. Something had caught him in a vise, his body - he couldn't move - but someone was making his neck twist, turning it excruciatingly inch by inch.

Saskia and Ren stood in the hallway along with BB-9e; their hands were outstretched, manipulating the _Force_. Saskia switched the light saber off and it fell to Jaina's side. Once released from his control, she slammed to the floor and remained unmoving. Soramar could almost see Ren fully now, the stark pallor of his face, the bruised circles beneath his dark eyes. There was hatred and rage within his stare, the _Force_ around him emanated in painful, sickening waves. _Ren thought he was too late_. Soramar's joints began to pop, his throat constricted from the sudden crushing force applied to his windpipe. Soramar reached up for his throat, realizing what was happening.

"Filth." Ren pronounced coldly, snapping his neck around. Saskia snapped out of her daze and ran forward. "Jaina!" She dropped to her side in a flurry of robes. "Ren! She's been cut!" He nearly pushed her aside, grasping the smaller woman by the shoulder, easing her over onto her back. He surveyed her torso grimly, "bring someone, hurry."

"Alright! I'll comm the bridge and let them know what happened!" Saskia pushed up to her feet, darting around Soramar's twisted remains. The droid was already gone, beeping for help.

His glance slid across the bloodied edges of the wound. Red wetness seeped from the gash, along with the slight jump of muscle and scorched tissue when she breathed inward. "Kylo…?" The sound of his name drew his gaze upward. Jaina had lapsed into semi-consciousness. She looked at him, through him. "I'm sorry." An exhalation as her curled right hand lifted, trying to capture some part of him.

"I failed." Her fingertips folded over nothing.

"Why didn't you call me through the _Force_? Why did you call Saskia?" He had answered the knight's comm, meeting up with her on the floor below, assuming something else. "You should rely on me. Not her." If he hadn't been there, Saskia wouldn't have been able to stop Soramar alone. Not in his maddened state.

"I thought you wouldn't…,"

"There isn't a time when I wouldn't want you to contact me." The words he had spoken made him pause. They were familiar somehow. He had spoken them to someone once. Almost the same tone, the same desperation.

Jaina's brow furrowed as if she was having a hard time remembering something. "Liar." The word was a forced whisper, a movement of her lips. _You always lie to me_. Her hand fluttered against her chest, the _Force_ emanated from her fingertips in soothing waves. Ren watched her eyes flicker and she slipped into unconsciousness.

…

"Thankfully, part of the medbay was intact." Duma muttered, looking up from the datapad displaying her vitals.

"We have a far more advanced bacta bath on the Ravager." Hux said, nose wrinkling in distaste.

"I don't think she should be moved for now. The saber's heat scorched her internal organs. The cut was a shallow one, but any deeper and she would've died."

"You're right, I suppose." The general sent a look of disdain to the other who had scarcely moved. "Any idea why your knight went on a killing spree through the ship? Why was Jaina his target?"

"Soramar lost his mind." Ren said quietly. "I remembered something I was told long ago…he was an orphan whose parents had been killed by Loress Jade, Jaina's grandfather. The only thing he held onto was the memory of the light saber."

Hux's gaze dropped to the winged hilt in Ren's hand. "All for revenge?"

"Seeing her and the light saber was too much. He saw something of Jade in her and it pushed him over the edge."

"It was the dark side." Duma had been around dark siders long enough to know the effects the _Force_ exacted on their conscious minds. "I cannot feel the Force, but I do know what happens when it's abused. Jaina used the light side to keep herself awake, she was able to heal some of the damage done to her body. The way I see it is, the dark side ultimately corrupts the mind. That knight killed some of my crew without hesitation." He held the attention of the two men now. BB-9e's head rolled on its body, silently observing them.

"Can you in all honesty, say that you can protect her from yourself?"

"I would do anything to protect her."

-TBC

AN: I'm disappointed with the novelization of TLJ, but oh well. That's what fanfiction is for, haha. I've decided to continue this story, using elements of _The Force Unleashed game_ and SW EU along with current cannon.

Thanks for reading!

No flames.

Please Review


	3. Chapter 3

"Why have you come here?"

He wasn't sure why, facing the viewport windows with its retractable blind, the stars drifted in monotonous unity beyond the Star Dreadnought. Ren felt the cold vacuum of fear in his chest. He hadn't been able to rid himself of it so easily. Soramar was dead. _The knight he had trained once. The boy who had stared sullenly at the floor when the other padawans spoke fondly of their parents. The boy who had become something else under his tutelage, who had promised to watch over his Empire from the shadows_.

Soramar was another monster, perhaps that was why he had been closest to him.

"I killed someone."

"Do you expect me to sympathize with you?" Leia sounded tired, defeated. Her old eyes sparked with irritation. "You killed everyone who stood in your way. What was one more? Even Snoke, your second master."

"I didn't kill Snoke."

Leia had no quips, no snide remarks or retorts. He had surprised her. "Then, who did?"

"That woman," _TN-1063_. "The only other person you've seen other than myself."

Now it was his turn to be surprised as a faint smile lifted his mother's mouth. "Now that explains a lot. I figured she must've had some importance for you to bring her here months ago. I wouldn't have thought…why'd she do it?"

 _Ah_. He knew why she had done it. He couldn't say those words to his mother. _She did it out of love, misguided, misplaced, intense, naïve and hopeless. She kissed him, she saved him, freed him, laid the galaxy down at his feet through her actions_ \- and he had wanted to make her into something she didn't want to be. And he had almost lost her because of it.

"I don't know why."

Leia studied him, her hands folded in her lap. She had known there could've been a few reasons for the pilot's self-disclosure, her confession.

"I didn't do it for the First Order."

Leia had simply thought it was a product of brain-washing, hatred for the loathsome Resistance as they put it. But, then there was one other reason she had never considered until he stood there resembling the lost boy she had raised. He was at a loss on what to do once someone cared for him.

"There's only one reason a woman would risk her life for someone." She should've known. _She had wanted to go charging across the stars to rescue Han when he was sealed in carbonite_. "But, you know," Leia watched him turn slightly, expressionless. "You already know why." From the tense set of his shoulders, Leia could see the misery in his eyes. She wasn't sure what was going on or what had happened, but she guessed it had something to do with the pilot.

"Well, I've met her and don't have any objections to her. TN-1063 is pretty enough, I suppose." She thought to lighten the mood, shrugging slightly. Kylo Ren's gaze narrowed. Apparently that had been the wrong thing to say. _Oh, well_. Leia thought he needed to grow up some and what was he going to do, _kill her? Darth Vader, her own father, had tortured her once on the Death Star._ Leia wasn't afraid of the dark side of the Force, not anymore.

"I have no intentions toward her."

 _Oh, so what was with that conflict in his Force signature?_ Leia wasn't blinded to his lies. Whatever he was thinking had everything to do with the pilot.

"What happened?" There was a time when her son would've told her everything, when he followed her shadow as much as he had tagged after Han. Leia looked at the dark-haired man he had grown into and saw something of what she remembered. The glimpse of emotion that wasn't anger or fear sparked a glimmer of hope in her heart. Leia tried to compose her expression into serene detachment.

"I shouldn't be here." He said after a moment longer of hesitation. The long black cape he wore swirled around his body, reminding her of Vader. Leia pushed aside the imitative thought. Ben wasn't Vader no matter how much he idolized the Dark Lord.

"Wait, you came here for a reason. I would like to hear it." Leia lessened her demanding tone when he stilled. Ren half-turned, fury sparking in his eyes. "You presume to command me?"

"No, _oh_ , you've never changed. You don't like anyone telling you what to do. Something happened to that girl and I'll own that I'm curious about her."

"One of the Knights of Ren went crazed. He attempted to kill her." Kylo allowed her that much. Leia wasn't lying so far as her surface feelings. He watched the play of emotions on her face, the bewilderment, concern.

"Why?"

"Her grandfather killed his guardians during the waning days of the Empire."

His mother closed her eyes with a sigh. "Revenge doesn't make someone crazy. There are limits to how much someone can take." She blinked and glanced up. "Was she alright?"

"He almost killed her." That was what Ren couldn't stop thinking of. A few seconds, maybe a minute slower and they would've been too late to stop the light saber from slicing through her throat. In response to his thoughts, the reflexive memory of her throat beneath his hand came to mind. _I can't lose her_ , he thought and changed his thought process immediately. He couldn't lose someone of her strength, the potential of her bloodline.

"But, he was stopped - this knight, right?" Leia's voice drew him back to reality.

"I killed him." Ren forced himself to stop thinking, stop everything. He sounded like Snoke to his own mind, thinking of her power. _Hadn't Saskia challenged him befor_ e…then, there was Saskia's suggestion. He had planned that she be taken to the Dauntless for further training. Since Soramar's rebellion, he was hesitant on following through with that plan. It was preferable, much for the comfort of his own mind that she was removed from the Tarkin and placed where he could feel her through the _Force. On the same ship where he always knew where she was._

 _He killed for her. Killing had become second nature to Kylo Ren, however the conflict she saw around him, spoke volumes for his true emotional state_. Leia thought to say something else and hesitated, realizing it was useless. She was lucky to have gotten as much as she had out of him. _This woman…TN-1063 had brought out a shade of Ben Solo_.

It wasn't enough to hope for his redemption, but it was something that gave Leia reason to keep believing in a better future. "Well, only you know how you want to live your life. You should probably go to her. I know what it's like to love someone." Leia deliberately held his gaze, those hazel eyes framed by long lashes set into the long face with an expressive mouth.

"I'm sure she misses you terribly." _Ah_ , _there_ , she caught the slightest twitch of his expression. _Ben was thinking of her, that woman_. He was craving the confirmation that he was wanted. _The terrible thing was_ Leia thought when he left her without another word, her son didn't even understand his own _need_.

…

 _Where am I?_

She had been put to bed, taken out from the bacta tank by med droids. Jaina felt the slight itchiness from the bacta fluid remaining on her skin; absently she scratched a patch near her elbow that extended faint prickles up toward her shoulder blades. She stretched, grimacing at the pain. The pain she had ignored while caught in the hand of the _Force_ came roaring back, making her feel dizzy and sick.

BB-9e wasn't around.

No one was around.

 _She was alone…not alone_. Jaina stilled her frantic breathing, slowly lowering the hand she had clapped over her mouth. "The Force is with me. I am one with the Force and the Force is with me." She closed her eyes and folded her legs beneath her with difficulty. "I am one with the Force." Beyond her darkened vision, she reached out for the luminescence that was the living energy, the strands woven into every living thing. She felt it respond to her, breathing through her, easing some of her physical pain. There was coldness surrounding her, but there was light as well and beyond the Star Destroyer, she could feel the boy, whose light pierced the darkness.

 _"Temiri."_

She withdrew from her meditative state sensing someone approaching. The door opened and closed behind him. The tall dark figure from her meditative state, observed her.

"How's your wound?"

"It's fine." She didn't remember much after being cut open. She had felt her flesh melt, splitting apart against the burning edge grazing her skin. She remembered enough to wonder how she avoided being gutted.

"You're a terrible liar." He had felt her pain through the _Force_. Jaina made a face, refusing to show fear at his approach. "Lie back." Ren said tonelessly. Another glance at his face and she turned, sliding onto her back, wincing when her stomach muscles contracted.

His right hand drifted down to the hem of her shirt coming to rest on the edge where the bandages lay flush against her skin. "It'll scar."

 _Yes, she knew_. She had seen what a light saber wound did to the body. "You gave me my first scar." She said, head reclining against the hard pillows. Ren's hand glowed a faint green, transferring some of the _Force_ into the wound. Jaina felt the dead edges of her epidermis react to the living energy. She felt it spread throughout her scarred tissue, tendrils

touching her insides, healing the damage done to them. She felt something else, heat rising in the center of her being. She refused to focus on it, blinking past the ache induced by the pressure of his hand against her stomach. The wound hurt. It would always hurt, always be etched into her skin as a reminder of how close she came to death.

Some of the itchiness left her shoulders.

"What kind of technique is this?"

"Healing." He said with a trace of sarcasm.

"I meant light or dark."

"I was told it was a Jedi technique." He said no more, lifting his hand from her body. Jaina shifted upward, trying to see if she was still reduced to gasping fits of pain. "Feels better. Why do you hate the Jedi?" She could detect the underlying tension in his voice mentioning the long dead Order.

"Does it matter? The last of their kind has been reduced to ash."

"I was just curious and wanted to understand your perspective." She explained patiently. "Our perspectives will always be different, so how can I appreciate your point of view when I don't know it."

He seemed to consider her words before almost smiling. "My reasons are my own; however darkness and light cannot exist together."

"You're wrong. That's a dogmatic view held by the Sith." Before he could consider lashing out, she caught his wrist. "I saw when you were growing inside Leia Organa. You were light spiked by darkness. Both existed inside you," as they do within me. "You were not meant to be Jedi or Sith-"

He pulled away from her and for a second, she almost thought he was going to attack her - the response of violence in place of reasoned understanding. Jaina held her ground, refusing to be intimidated. "I have become what I was meant to be." He hissed; the _Force_ was aboil with danger between them. Jaina forced herself to look into those angry eyes, "and what is that?"

She could almost see the memory surfacing in his mind; a windswept coast, Ahch-To. The choppy ocean preceding the storm to come and the scavenger girl, her eyes full of fire.

 _"You are a monster." Rey was the one who spoke it, she said it remembering her paralysis on Takodana._ Rey said it without understanding so many things. _That was why she failed. She wanted to remake Ben Solo into the image of her own making._

"You're not a monster." Jaina said, pulling back consciously from the memory. "You're not Soramar."

Ren drew closer to her, his gaze running over her body in meaning. "I can be."

She caught his wrists, holding him back from touching her. "But, you won't be." She felt the _Force_ around him raw and alive with hunger. Jaina felt her own stifling, heavy, dominant. Enacted without conscious will, she knew he could feel it -

"No? How can you be so sure?"

She gently slid one hand upward over his arm to his face, lightly cupping his jaw; her fingertips stroked his scarred cheek. "Because I know you." Then, she let go.

They stared at one another, each parsing the last few minutes into something they could both understand, he decided to pretend she hadn't challenged him and won.

"When you've fully recovered, you'll resume your regular training with Saskia." He hesitated for a beat, then continued. "I'm also going to show you the ways of the Force so you can learn to protect yourself."

"I suppose I should…," Jaina wasn't surprised. He hadn't given her the option of outright refusal, although given her near demise; she thought it would be better to learn more than swordplay if it could be useful in the future. There were light side and dark side techniques that once learned she could choose from. The thought of technique and blade skill made her almost smile. It was better to be well-rounded as much as possible.

"I do remember that… you saved me."

She held his gaze and this time he didn't look away.

"Thank you."

A slight nod sufficed.

"Send me a comm when you've fully healed up."

Ren opened the door and the droid rolled backward to let him pass. He hadn't seen the droid since the bacta chamber, never quite noticing when its servos had gone silent. BB-9e waited until he had walked by, beeping a quick thanks for the door being held open. Jaina tilted a brow, watching the exchange from the bed.

The droid waited until its audio sensors could no longer detect Ren's footsteps. Jaina uncurled her legs from the bed, slipping to the floor. The droid chirped finally in greeting. "Where were you?" She burst out, grabbing the droid's round body and hugging it to her. BB-9e chirped a full explanation that silenced her then, surprised, she held the droid at arm's length.

"You - switched the hyperdrives? You found another shuttle that was better?" The droid chirped an affirmative quieter, explaining how no one noticed little droids that looked like all the others in the main hangar.

"You did this all for me?"

 _So…I could…escape_.

"You're the only one who cares." The droid tilted its cylindrical head against her shoulder gently. "Is now the time?" Jaina wondered, rising eventually. She paced absently, rubbing the flat array of bandages secured snugly around her middle. "I would rather learn as much as possible before…,"

The droid chirped about the light side.

"I know." There was so much she didn't know and couldn't possibly learn if she left now. Ren held some of those answers, the knowledge to unlock _Force_ techniques. The Jedi Masters felt she needed to progress further in light saber combat before beginning advanced techniques. She turned to face the droid who had opened a side compartment.

The hilt of her light saber emerged into sight.

The green cabochon caught her eye, vivid with its waxy opaque luster. _Grandfather_. She bent and took up the light saber. _I can still control my fate_. "Okay…, once everything's settled down a little, then we'll slip away."

…

The repairs had been finished on the training hall; she noticed walking through the long corridor. Work was progressing much more slowly on the quadrant where the medbay was located. She had seen the bodies, the carnage Soramar had left in his wake. Saskia felt the malevolence left behind from his actions, tainting the Star Destroyer like a psychical imprint of negativity. He slaughtered them for no reason, simply because they were alive, because they had seen him.

" _She's going to make a full recovery."_

 _The glow of the bacta liquid filled the chamber with diffuse blue light. Saskia had stared at the figure suspended in the tank, the woman's black hair floated around her face, the strands not yet long enough to brush her collarbone_. _The faded bruise from the Force choke remained visible on her throat; the red split line of scar tissue abraded her shoulder. She was scarred. She would always be scarred by Soramar's memory_.

" _Is she?"_

 _I failed her_.

 _I should've killed him when I had the chance, the first time_.

" _You shouldn't hold yourself accountable. The dark side influenced the knight's actions, no one else. The way Lord Ren explained it was the knight simply lost his mind. The pain of losing his family as a child drove him to despicable actions."_

" _So it was his inner demons. He unleashed them on others."_

 _Duma looked at her, truly looked at her. Saskia knew most humans and aliens averted their gazes from her, not wanting to be confronted by the heavy helmet with its voice modulator. "No, I think he unleashed them upon himself. Anyone who falls to the dark side can be lost at any time. Whenever they forget who they are, whenever they let go of their connection to humanity, they become the true monster."_

 _She hadn't wanted to let him know how much those words stung, how much they reminded her of the knife's edge she walked with the dark side. Saskia had lifted her chin haughtily, knowing her eyes swimming with tears weren't visible through the black razor line of the visor. "You sound like you knew someone who was a dark sider, old man."_

 _He smiled; sadly it seemed and shifted toward the bacta tank. "Oh, I did. I did indeed. She turned back toward the light once she had someone who was worth living for."_

Saskia had left with the droid following her out. She had been aware of it down several hallways until it branched off into another corridor. It was just as well. She had wanted to be alone. Ren had left for the Star Dreadnought that drifted above the smaller Tarkin some hours before. _He was afraid of himself, uncertain how to get past his own fears_. _He killed for her and can't bring himself to understand why_. Saskia sighed, pushing open the door to the training hall, _he was being foolish and immature like usual_.

 _He had found her on the observation platform._

 _"_ _What happened back there_ _?" She was still trying to process the moment when she had realized Soramar had finally snapped and seeing Kylo kill him in front of her._

" _Soramar rebelled, he had to be killed as an example."_

 _That was all well and good, tied up into a neat explanatory package, but it wasn't enough. Kylo was lying to himself. He was more than shaken up at the notion of rebellion. He had been damned scared, but not of Soramar. "That's easy to say that. Soramar had to die because he defied you. I'm sure Radford will be pleased to have two Force users on his ship._ _"_

" _I…I haven't decided what to do with her yet."_

" _Really? Not so long ago, you were demanding I take her to the Dauntless. What's wrong now?" Despite her complaint, she drew back, glimpsing the rising anger in his face. "You're thinking of keeping her with you." The more she thought about it, the more she had come to the gradual conclusion he was hiding something from her. He and Jaina had lived on the Finalizer for two years. He wasn't completely disinterested in her to say she had come out of nowhere - and killing Snoke - well, he had covered up for her in his own clumsy way. Saskia stared hard at him; even now she felt he wasn't being entirely honest._

 _"Are you questioning my decision?"_

 _"After eight years of following you, I don't see why I would." Saskia finally tilted her head up, regarding the stars. The platform's tubular catwalk was only opened during long patrols when the potential for attack was nonexistent. The expanse of the galaxy sparkled like a million lights._

 _"It's so very beautiful when you take it in. We're just a microcosm, an infinitesimal fraction of life in the universe. Sometimes, we get so absorbed into our notions of wrong and right, that we forget what we really are."_

 _"Your meaning eludes me, Saskia."_

 _She sighed, folding her arms beneath her ample bosom. "What did you see when you first looked at Jaina?"_

 _Kylo didn't immediately respond; he was looking past her into the galactic darkness. "I was envious. She could do things with ease. I thought she was nothing."_

" _Why? Because only a Skywalker should have greatness? Be a part of your story?" Saskia's lip curled in derision. She had always hated his flaunting of his bloodline. "The scavenger was nothing."_

" _I know." Instead of the vicious anger tied into the girl's memory, Saskia saw defeat. "I thought she was someone else."_

 _Her confusion deepened. Kylo was confusing a true memory of his own with another. This wasn't the time to be concerned with the past. She was still surprised he had said anything at all and not dismissed her out of hand. "What do you see when you look at Jaina now?"_

" _You know what I see."_

 _Saskia felt her disgust rising. "Her power."_

 _"What else is there? The galaxy is in disarray, we are the ones who must restore order."_

 _"There is more to life and the Force than that, Ren. One day, you'll understand."_

She stood for a moment in the wide open space, exhaling outward, centering her emotions in the dark side. The _Force_ , a living darkness around her, manifested itself with eyes and teeth. But, there was a disturbance, a wavering in the stable energies she had summoned around her. Saskia's smooth brow furrowed as she half-turned, igniting one half of the dual blade. She had thought it was the protocol droid, they rarely made good target practice, but she was willing to butcher the thing if it thought to sneak up on her -

\- but, there was nothing there.

Her wrist comm flashed. She deactivated the saber, accepting the call. "Saskia, here."

"Lady Ren, this is Lieutenant Miura of the Dauntless. Captain Radford sends his greetings. He wishes to know when he can expect you back." The polished voice came through the transmitter. She was surprised the reception was clear. "I'm close to leaving now. There have been some complications here and I likely won't be returning anytime soon."

…

"You seem frazzled."

Jaina powered off the saber, closing her eyes, willing herself to remain patient. "I don't understand why you say I was wrong when I used Shii Cho." She opened her eyes, flickering a glance to the older man dressed in the robes of another era. He was tall and broadly built in the beige tunic, and trousers tucked into soft leatheris boots. His trailing cloak was a dark brown in color, shades lighter than his longish hair. A general during the Clone Wars, survivor of Geonosis, Obi-Wan Kenobi smiled, amused.

"You were forgetting the footwork. The wide sweeping motions evocative of the style had nothing to do with your tight movements."

"So I was using Makashi. It's easier to go with what I already know. Kriff, I think I could do it with my eyes closed." She knew she still had to take it easy. She had been cleared from the medbay soon after Ren had healed her. He would always be stronger than her in technique. If it ever came to that, she doubted she would be able to defeat him in battle.

"Can you?" The ghost looked intrigued.

Jaina sighed, dropping into the opening stance of Form I. "Forget I said anything, please."

"Well, you wanted to know why you failed and I told you."

She thumbed the switch, the red blade sprung forward, casting a fiery crimson glow on the floor. "I wanted to know why things happened the way they did. I almost died - couldn't you have done something?"

"If I counted the number of times I had to rescue or could've rescued my padawan from his misadventures," Obi-Wan chuckled. "I wouldn't have enough fingers or toes to count."

"I get your point, but…,"

"Depending on us to help you all the time cripples you in the end. You'll never realize your full potential by relying on someone other than yourself. Besides, Ben Solo was on his way to your location."

"And I'm supposed to be - _what?_ Ecstatic he stopped wreaking the galaxy to come and reign in his errant knight?" She grumbled, haphazardly stabbing the air with her saber. "Kylo killed Soramar because he disobeyed him, not because of me."

"Did you use your ability to know that?"

"No." She hadn't had to. "I _know_ everything I need to know about him. His motives were never clearer," _than when he ignored my need for comfort_. Jaina couldn't speak her own bitter disappointment to the Jedi Master. Jaina didn't want to speak of Kylo, nor think of him. She thought of him almost constantly - her foolish self thinking everything would fall into place once he noticed her.

 _I was stupid and blinded by my emotions._

"Something tells me his role in your story is far from over." Obi-Wan remarked, glancing at her feet. "Watch your - oops."

She tripped over her own feet, nearly falling on the light saber.

"Stars!" Red-faced, she stopped short of cursing the Maker and all the rest of the galaxy. Obi-Wan waited until she had picked herself up off the floor before delivering his best quip yet.

"Those are very un-Jedi-like feelings."

…

"Master Ti, can I have someone else teach me Form I and Form III?"

"I told you before Kenobi was… _ah_ , one of a kind." The ghost failed to hide her smile. Under Jaina's disapproving look, Shaak Ti shook her head, the ornate headdress swaying a little with the motion. "In his day, Kenobi was a master tactician. He was also respected by Dooku, who despite his traitorous life was one of the best duelists from my era."

She sat down on the bench, frowning at the hilt in her hand. "I guess, but I don't understand. Why did I fail to protect myself? Why did I have to be rescued again?!"

"Is that what's bothering you?"

"I should be stronger."

"Why? Because everyone says you should be? The dark side is the easiest path to power and strength, but it leads to instability and destruction. You're not going to become a Jedi in six months, or a year. Did you think Anakin Skywalker who was the strongest we ever trained from his generation, became a Jedi Knight immediately? You're not nearly as strong in the _Force_ as he was. To think you can become what it took ten years for a prodigy to learn is arrogance."

"I know that, but still I'm not enough." Jaina tightened her fist around the hilt. She felt the pulse of the kyber crystal's dark energy react to her emotions; hastily she drew back and tried to explain herself. "I almost died because of someone's vendetta, yet without using the dark side I couldn't overcome him."

"Why is it important to become stronger?"

"A lot of reasons. Kylo Ren isn't getting stronger in the dark side now that his mentor is gone. But, the threat he poses is still there."

"That's a reason others would say. What is yours?"

"The galaxy needs light side warriors to restore balance."

"That is our reasoning, but that isn't yours."

Once silenced by the realization she couldn't hide behind others, the color drained from her face. Jaina fingered the Haysian smelt wings, her nails following the lines of textured detailing. "The boy in Canto Bight. Temiri. I have to save him. He can't stay there for ten years or longer simply because of my weakness." That wasn't everything, but they couldn't see inside her. Jaina knew she could subtly project her own feelings so that they felt the truth. "Every time I meditate, I can see him there. I feel his pain when they beat him…Temiri is special. I can't just leave him there to rot!"

"Can you save all of the children of the galaxy? The ones like the scavenger girl who was so afraid of the truth of her past, that she pretended she had been abandoned?" Shaak Ti challenged her now, mildly derisive.

"Sounds familiar." Jaina muttered. "She was always pretending, wasn't she?" _Kind of like me. I thought we were complete opposites_. _Guess that was my own jealousy talking._ "Temiri isn't Rey. Maybe I _can_ save him."

"And abandon all the rest to Kylo Ren's decimation?"

"No! I-"

"When you see that boy, you see yourself. The child you were who no one saved. The Jedi did not concern themselves with one wrong, we sought balance and only acted when that balance could be achieved. By seeking out the quickest path to strength, you will neglect the very light you need to protect."

"You're wrong!" She jumped up to her feet, shouting. "That's why the Jedi Order fell! They believed in their superiority, their hubris was their downfall." She felt the _Force_ alive around her, crackling with potential.

"Yes, so you see why we were wrong." The Togruta's voice had an edge of steel in it. "Why we chose to train you when your age far exceeds the admittance into the old Jedi Order."

Jaina felt some of her fury drain away leaving her so very exhausted. "What about Temiri? I don't want to leave him there."

"What is holding you back from learning Form I? To the untrained eye such as from the Knights of Ren, your execution of light saber combat is good or better than what they expected from an initiate."

"I don't know. Well, maybe because I'm consciously thinking of what I already know. The footwork is different between combat forms and I have a hard time remembering to keep my flow separate when switching between them."

"Then, you must unlearn in order to learn the right way."

"What? But, that doesn't make sense."

"Think about it. The answer will come when you least expect it. I do wish you would reconsider your decision to travel to the Supremacy." Shaak Ti faded from sight leaving her alone. Jaina sighed, turning over the light saber in her hands.

...

The hours passed by in the blink of an eye. Jaina dumped the liquid pain killer down the commode in the 'fresher. She didn't need anything potentially impairing to hinder her plan. BB-9e had gone ahead to the shuttle, stowing itself onboard to wait for her. Jaina returned to her room, laying out the flight suit and outer armor. She could pretend she was going to do maintenance on a fighter hence her lack of a life support system. The heavy apparatus had proved too painful to wear, pressing against her upper abdomen. The droid had checked all onboard systems, including fuel reserves and food.

 _I have enough to run away, never look back._

Rather than give more thought to temptation, she polished the domed helmet one last time before switching the visor to interior lighting conditions. Then, she started walking, remembering all the times she had walked through the Tarkin as a _trainee, a pilot. A pilot of the First Order before a Force sensitive._

How things have changed.

She took the turbolift down to the main hangar, standing opposite an officer who never looked up from the datapad displaying consumables.

 _How much they've stayed the same._

She was a pilot again; anonymous, recognizable from her black suit and helmet. She passed a cluster of BB-9es who analyzed the hyperdrive motivator of an advanced fighter.

She kept walking until she skirted the last row of TIE fighters, drifting past Stormtroopers who marched past in single file.

Once she felt she was no longer observed, she skirted the mechanic consoles, the boxes of tool kits left behind by radar technicians. Jaina was relieved when the blunt-nosed shuttle appeared from the gloom. The lightning was lesser in the hangar farther away from the more populated areas. There was just enough room, she thought, to hover and take off from its current position. Striding up the ramp, she emerged into a cargo holding bay scrubbed conspicuously clean. BB-9e rolled out from the hallway leading fore, electroprod extended.

"Yeah, can't be too careful." Jaina said, removing her helmet. The droid retracted the electroprod into a side compartment, beeping an apology in binary.

"The 'fresher is old - there's clothes? And a bed…? Really I wasn't holding out for much." Jaina punched the button for the ramp. Following the droid through the hallway, she left the helmet on the counter of a small lounge. Semi-circular seating surrounded a holochess table. Built-in cabinets lined the tiny curved bar where racks once held wine bottles. Jaina ran her hand over the counter, detecting the presence of memories, whispers of emotion. "Chandrilan wine…I'm going to have to try it sometime."

Jaina loosened her flight suit's collar, striding for the cockpit. Through another short corridor, past wall bunks. She came into the small two seater piloting console. BB-9e bumped into the back of her legs, beeping again. "Oh, okay." Lifting the droid up with the _Force_ , she secured the belts around it, then took the pilot's seat. Another glance over the various buttons and levers made things seem more complicated than the foot pedals and control yoke of a TIE fighter.

"I still don't think I can fly this thing."

The droid beeped a stream of instructions, inserting one tensile arm into the wall socket.

 _You'll help me._ "Okay." She flicked a few switches, nothing happened then suddenly the control panel lit up, the hum of the ion engines fired starboard. Jaina felt the craft shudder beneath her hands, falling into a low vibrating purr. Switching gears, she felt the landing feet retract into the base as the craft slowly rose up from the hangar floor. Through the viewport window, she could see the mechanic consoles she had walked past, the occasional droid arm littering the ground.

The Tarkin was old, an aging relic from the Empire days. But, it had been the closest thing to a home and a prison she had known. Jaina couldn't resolve the paradox in her head, pushing aside her conflicted feelings as she let go of the controls.

"Hands in the air."

The click of the safety being removed came from behind her. Jaina stilled in the seat, her hands slowly rising. BB-9e chirped once in droidspeak, panicked. They had been found out.

…

The shuttle was silent, the landing engaged. Jaina had set her light saber on the dash; it was within reach if she wanted to put up a fight. "Who are you, really? How did you know we were onboard?"

"I was your mother's pilot, a graduate of the Imperial Academy. The Jade Sabre was her ship. I've been saving it all this time for you."

"That's a lie. My mother abandoned me to the First Order. She didn't want me, she never wanted me!"

"I know it's hard for you to understand, but she had reasons. She left you here so she could protect you." The old man reholstered his blaster. "I forged her papers guaranteeing her credentials. As an archivist, she saw every command that was passed down through the Supremacy before it was enacted. In that way, she would always know where and what Snoke was doing without anyone knowing."

"But, why? Why was I such a danger to Snoke?"

"You know why, Jaina. Snoke ordered his knights to murder countless Force sensitive children. Mara left you with me to protect you. I have protected you as much as I could."

"No…,"

He had thought she would deny it. A half-hearted smile lifted one side of his mouth. "You were always my best pilot. Admittedly, better than I ever was."

"Why did you send me to the Finalizer then?"

"Because I knew Hux wanted to remove the Tarkin from active service. It was after the Battle of Hosnian Prime that he began moving to eliminate more of the former Imperials, men I had known in my younger days. I knew for you to stay safe I had to send you elsewhere. Captain Peavey isn't a bad sort, and he owed me a favor. I asked him to look after you. It wasn't until your transfer was agreed upon that I learned General Hux had made the Finalizer his flagship. Only you can say for yourself what went on there."

"But, my mother…even if she learned that Snoke was sending Kylo Ren after me, what could she do about it?" She knew what he was going to say before the words left his mouth. She had wanted confirmation, refusing deep down to accept the things the Force ghosts had said. She trusted them, but not enough to relinquish the deeply held beliefs about her parents. _The same as with Loress Jade. He had been a dark sider_ - _but something of familial feeling must've existed for him to be there with them on the Executrix after fleeing Chandrila._

"Mara planned to kill Snoke. She always used to say that everyone has a weakness; she just needed time to find his. I feel that if you had been exposed to Snoke without the Resistance-"

She held her hand up. "I killed him."

Duma sighed and some of the tension slipped from his posture. "I thought so from the beginning. Ren and Hux aren't terribly good liars. Plus, Hux knows Ren himself didn't do it. I guess some credit is due to the boy. He covered up for you."

She wasn't sure how to feel about that. It was one thing to assume something, another to have a long-held suspicion confirmed.

"Ah, but I was getting ahead of myself, wasn't I? Mara knew Snoke had subverted the lives of the Skywalker-Solo family. He had caused so much pain and destruction and would continue to do so if something wasn't done."

"Then, it was true." Jaina sank down into the pilot's seat. "She was Emperor Palpatine's assassin."

"Most of the things she did were under a type of mental control. She would've been a Jedi in a different era had the Order survived. She was always collecting stories to tell her children, the ones she hadn't had yet when we were young."

Jaina reached out, brushing her fingertips over the console. "You loved her."

"I suppose I did." The old commander said. "I was never enough for her because I had no _Force_ sensitivity. She wanted strong children who were like her, who could carry on the Jade name. She was proud of that name. It was the name of the Sword of the Jedi."

Jaina stirred slightly, they wanted her to become a sword. The phrasing was familiar like something she had heard before. "I don't understand. Whose name?"

"Oh, an ancestor of the Jade clan, a Jedi Knight who during a time of strife and war, united the two factions of the Jedi Order, thus restoring them as the defenders of the Republic."

"That's a nice story." Jaina half-turned, bemused. "I would've thought that was a tale associated with the Skywalker family seeing as Luke tried to restore the Jedi Order once."

Duma looked slightly less comfortable discussing the Jedi Master. "There are others who are _Force_ sensitives in the galaxy who aren't related to the Skywalkers."

"Like me." Jaina said, trying to smile; she was surprised Duma didn't immediately respond. She considered looking through his thoughts. What was he thinking as he stood there in the cockpit of the ship he had piloted for her mother. Then, she decided to respect his privacy. She could sense the underlying sadness behind his composure. Duma had spent years hiding his emotions, that it had become second nature to restrain grief. Jaina was forced to realize now that she hadn't been the only one grieving for the woman who had been her mother. The woman who had been an enigma and someone who she had never truly known.

"What changed? Why did she come back to the First Order after leaving it all behind?"

"She never told me why. She used to say it was something her father told her that you could never outrun the past. That it would always find you. The way I figured it was someone who had a vendetta against Jade came looking for her or that was her fear anyway."

"There was someone," Jaina said hesitantly, remembering Soramar.

"One of Ren's knights. Yes, he explained how he knew about the Zabrak's past after everything had happened." Duma leaned tiredly against the doorway of the cockpit. "I'm sorry things turned out that way, Jaina."

"But, not my grandfather." She turned steely eyes on him. "Soramar didn't kill him. He couldn't find him."

Duma motioned, his gloved hand beckoning. "I want to show you something, come."

…

She assumed Kylo was going to be alerted about her failed escape. BB-9e trailed between them, depressed and silent. In a room of polished old equipment, he pulled up an inventory list using his personal code.

"Supreme Leader Snoke was a savant of _Force_ knowledge; he collected numerous objects for their immaterial value, their connection to the dark side." He cycled through the items some of which she recognized from her brief passage through the mausoleum of Sith history.

"This was recovered from Niruan."

Her eyes slid almost frightened from his face to the screen. The holographic image depicted a silver light saber hilt with burnished black detailing. The most unusual aspect of it was the etched star motif that drew the eye. "What…,"

"What I'm going to tell you now is classified information. Years ago, the planet Niruan was exposed as part of the Empire of the Hand. There were Imperial remnants stationed at the garrison that refused to conform to the First Order. They were betrayed by a spy among them. General Hux led the attack on the base. As you can imagine, it was devastated. He also had the native Chiss peoples slaughtered in number to discourage them from hiding the Imperials."

"But, we _are_ Imperials. The First Order was the Imperial remnant. Why would they fire on their own people?" Jaina stared at him wordlessly, paling. "I knew… _well_ …he told me about Niruan."

"Did he? Did he also tell you how Admiral Sloane - _Maker bless her soul_ , was betrayed by his father?"

She shook her head, lowering her gaze. "No." A whisper of shock. _Admiral Rae Sloane, one of the few women to ever reach high rank within the Empire. She had been substitute Captain for the infamous Star Destroyer, Ultimatum, and had taken the reins, leading the Imperial remnant into the Unknown Regions…to have murdered her…what lengths would they go for power?_ If that was what it meant to have power, then she was willing to let it go.

Duma magnified the image, striking a few keys. "Niruan was a mess. They abandoned it after a spell of acting like conquerors."

"Then, that light saber…," she knew what he was going to say. The organ in her chest seemed to shift, lurching with the plummeting sensation in her guts.

"It was confirmed to belong to Loress Jade. It was found among the rubble by one of the Knights of Ren."

She shut her eyes tightly. If she never opened them again, she wouldn't have to see the proof. It was true. Her grandfather was the only one not killed by Soramar. Instead, he had died for another man's lust for power. She swayed a little, physically sick. BB-9e bumped her legs, leaning its head against her knees.

"I'm sorry."

She forced herself to look, committing the image to memory. "Where is it?"

"On the Supremacy. Lord Ren refused to take any of the artifacts. The Tarkin was the ship that responded first after the disaster and I distinctly remember his orders."

"Thank you for telling me." Jaina pictured the Supremacy drifting through space, the shattered wing where her mother had passed in a white and blue hale of stars.

"Jaina," he looked at her sternly. "You can't retrieve it."

"You can't stop me. Stun me with your pistol, lock me up and I'll find a way out." She said, touching the hilt of the light saber. "With or without your help, I'm going to get it."

He stared hard at her knowing words alone weren't going to dissuade her. "Alright, go if you must." He slipped his hand into his breast pocket. "There is something else you might consider. Mara had a safe deposit box in the bank located in the heart of the Supremacy's cityscape." He held up an electronic card in the shape of an old-fashioned key. "You might have difficulties opening it if there's anything still there." She took the key from him, fingers folding over the slim metal.

"Do you know what would be in there?"

"No, not at all. The thing about your mother was that she had odd notions about what constituted worth. It could be nothing, or it could be something you seek."

…

 _It was still there_.

"I was so close to it." The red beam spliced the air with its signature hum. She felt the wavering stability of the energies in the room. She was tense, wired up. BB-9e had finished analyzing a route to the Supremacy's last known location. It was all she could do not to go running to the main hangar and steal a TIE fighter with a hyperdrive.

"I wish I had known." Suddenly impatient with her deflective swings, she crushed the droids with the _Force_. BB-9e rolled closer, beeping indignantly.

"I know, I know! You don't like me to kill droids." She rolled her eyes to the ceiling. "I'm supposed to be healing up and all I can think about is my grandfather. He said that you can never outrun your past." She dropped down to one knee, deactivating the light saber. Laying a hand on the droid's cylindrical head, she tugged gently on the crooked antenna. "I think he was right. The Jade family is my past, Mara Jade was my mother. Loress was my grandfather and I think…he did care about us." _I choose to believe that at least._

The droid trilled softly.

"The Empire and the fractious fighting that went on after its dissolution were his past…" _someone betrayed them. General Hux was the one who ordered them fired on. He knew grandfather and the Imperials were there. He killed them_. She let the knowledge sink into her. _Armitage Hux._ _The man she had begun to trust - she had trusted him because he was almost kind to her. He had noticed her and saw her as a person before Kylo Ren ever had - he knew she had committed the ultimate act of treason_ \- She forcefully stopped thinking - it was too much.

"How long will it take for us to reach those coordinates?"

A stream of binary answered her.

"That's not long at all."

…

 _They would be looking for him soon, if they weren't already. The pups on the bridge couldn't do anything without him_. In the mirror of the 'fresher he had so often stood in front of, he saw an old man. The room was the last he had walked through, remembering the days he had been young, idealistic, a fool. The tube of Depil cream was no longer there on the shelf. The face with its stubborn square jaw, watery blue eyes and sand-colored hair had become interesting, pugnacious with deep furrows and a permanent scowl to the mouth.

Hux wanted to be rid of him.

Ben Solo/Kylo Ren didn't care. He was like a child with a plaything - if the galaxy could be equated to a plaything, then he would discard it once it was broken or had tired of it.

Gaius walked heavily through the corridor, pausing on the threshold of the cockpit. He had placed sensors that the droid had tripped inadvertently, around the perimeter of the ship. Once the alert had been sent to his comm, he had waited until Jaina had left her room and gone for the hangar, knowing her destination already. He thought of standing there with the blaster in hand. The guilty look on her face so much like her mother he had almost forgotten who it was -

Then, the momentary lapse of memory had faded. Mara had brown eyes…not the wide, innocent blue of the former pilot.

The last time he had seen Mara, begged her not to leave - she had slapped him for calling her by the name she had abandoned.

"Mara."

Now she was dead. Half a year gone and her child had her stubbornness.

"I watched over her for you. I trained her in the things I could. I tried to make her strong." He wished he could feel the _Force_ , hoping for a resonance, a trace in the air for him to know something remained of the woman he had loved. "I'm sorry I can't keep Ben Solo away from her like you wanted. I can't keep them apart. I'm sorry." _Yes, he had failed in some things_ , there was little else he could do for Jaina who was always chasing after the shadow of her past, afraid of her future.

His wrist comm flashed.

He had authorized one of the elite fighters for her.

It was the air tower contacting him.

Gaius sank into the pilot's seat, suddenly so very tired. He opened the channel, speaking into the transmitter.

"Let her go."

…

The air tower sent her the number of one of the TIEs mounted above. Mixed excitement and sadness quickened her steps. The Tarkin's hangar reminded her of the missions she had gone on in her younger days. The essence of danger, the frisson of pride she felt knowing she was an elite pilot of the First Order.

 _I was such a fool._

 _I was following the orders of murderers._

Once she had strapped the droid behind her seat, she input the coordinates into the flight computer. Several other TIEs were being sent out on patrol. Jaina loosely joined them, flying in defensive formation as they dropped from the underbelly of the Tarkin.

Jaina broke away from them as the fighter prepped for light speed. The tug of gravity shuddered through the body of the craft as it leapt forward into a tunnel of shifting blue and white. She leaned back in her seat, conscious of her own breath, the haze of her thoughts.

Jaina lapsed into a meditative state, reconnecting to the living _Force_. She drifted through the vast dark sea of starlight and shadow, briefly touching the sectors of ancient mist-shrouded ruins, cavernous valleys where mynocks flew above burnt out Starfighter wreckages. Somewhere, she could feel Saskia and the Knights, pinpricks distant from the hyperspace channel they traveled through. Kylo Ren was oblivious to the world, lost in an exhausted sleep. She moved past him, she didn't want to think of him now. Leia Organa was another light, small but bright, shining through her son's darkness. Beyond her, there was another similar, almost the same. Jaina thought of twin stars - knowing instinctively who it was.

 _"Luke."_

She felt his light across space, shielded by darkness. Someone, a dark sider, had placed heavy wards around the place where the Jedi Master was. She couldn't see him, but feel him in an almost indescribable way. Luke was made up of luminescence, existing in the _Force_.

 _"Pilot?"_

 _"You reconnected yourself."_

 _"And you're a Force user."_

 _"I prefer Force sensitive."_ Jaina huffed mildly. _"Are you aware of the danger?"_

 _"Ben Solo doesn't meditate. He doesn't reach out to connect to other beings. He is blind in the darkness."_ Luke said slightly sneering.

 _"Is that why you meditate?"_

She sensed his hesitation. Luke, the old man she had saved inadvertently, refused still to answer her questions. Questions led to uncomfortable answers, even after all the years since the temple's destruction; Luke hesitated on forging bonds with anyone.

 _"You meditate so you won't feel alone."_

She shrugged, it was true. She had no reason to hide it.

 _"You connect to the Force so easily. I don't understand how or why."_ His tone changed. _"How did you kill Snoke?"_

 _I don't know. "It was the will of the stars."_ She half-joked, aware that the legacy saber had the words inscribed in an unspeakable tongue on its hilt.

 _"Alright, I'm surprised they would choose you. Master Yoda told me about you."_

She shrugged fluidly. _"Does it matter? You wouldn't train me. It's fine, actually. I could never have better than with true Jedi Masters."_

 _"I asked him why they wouldn't appear to Rey."_

 _"She needed something that they couldn't give."_ Jaina said, her sympathy sending soothing pulses into the _Force_. _"She needed you."_

 _"She needed a father, something I couldn't give her. I have never been a father so how could I be one to her?"_

 _"Or you didn't want to offer her that."_

 _"Fair enough."_ Skywalker hesitated. _"Why you, pilot?"_

 _"Why you once, farm boy from Tatooine?"_ She sensed his faint smile before even the essence of Skywalker faded and she was alone with the droid.

…

"I never see you here."

The man she addressed wore a slight crooked smile. His black jacket and sharply creased trousers were tucked into polished knee-high boots. The peaked black cap perched atop his light brown hair.

"An officer should always be prepared for conflict." The sight of the DDC Defender-5 pistol took her back to Gatalenta. The elegant weapon was held loosely in Radford's hand. "Couldn't sleep?" He finally offered, noticing her tentative silence. Saskia felt strangely exposed to his scrutiny despite her helmet hiding her discernible features.

She shrugged and deactivated the saber. The hum distracted her. They were still uneasy with each other after all the time that had passed.

"You've been leaving a lot lately. Every week until now. Why?"

She supposed it wasn't so much a secret, refusing to accept the lingering hope he had noticed her absence out of the thousands aboard the Dauntless. "Lord Ren asked me to train someone in light saber combat. She was injured however on the Tarkin and required rest. I'm waiting for her heal up before we resume her training."

"So you were too rough on her and she hurt herself, boo hoo."

"Cut it out, V'lane. Soramar tried to kill her, alright? With everything that's happened, I'm just not in the mood for any of your stupid games." Saskia said disgustedly, stalking past him.

"Where's Soramar Ren now? He isn't coming here, is he?" Radford upped the skill level on the target computer, squeezing off round after round of blaster fire. The distinctive pew-pew sound had always irritated her.

She paused on the threshold. "He's dead now after carving a bloody path through the Tarkin. If Ren hadn't been there, I don't know what would've happened."

…

The shifting patterns of the tunnel made her sleepy. Jaina stared at them until her sight blurred, the motion of traveling through shifting space, felt like the lull of a cradle. BB-9e had powered itself off to conserve energy cell life. The cockpit was silent save for her own breaths. Jaina disengaged the life support system, removing the helmet. The bulky thing had plastered sweaty hair to the sides of her face. She blinked at the dimmed reddish light filling the cockpit ball.

She didn't want to fall asleep.

She didn't want to think.

This was her rebellion against the First Order, Kylo Ren, and the fate decided for her. Why was this so important to her? The saber belonged to her. In the same moment, she remembered Kylo's words battling Rey and the traitor, FN-2187, in the forest. The light saber had belonged to his family. She felt the same possessiveness over the Jade saber. The legacy saber belonged to her family, to the Sword of the Jedi. The other saber belonged to Loress. It had been with him at the moment of his death.

 _Closure_ , she thought. _It was closure_. Her eyes started to hurt from the dryness of the recycled air in the cockpit. Jaina turned her head slightly, trying to get comfortable; eventually she drifted off to sleep _:_

 _"Why do you wear this mask?"_

 _Stubby little girl fingers roved over the etched silver surface. The filigree work was stunning; the mask was a work of art. The eyes were a calm hazel that peered at her through the sockets._

 _"I have always been a vain man, little one. My form is no longer what it used to be."_

 _"Why?"_

 _"The dark side corrupts living tissue. I have drawn on it all these years to sustain my life."_

 _She didn't know what the dark side was. The breeze felt pleasant and she wanted to go play by the water. Loress touched her temples and she could hear the gentle buzz of his thoughts and surrounding them, the taint of energy. It reminded her of the heat of the sun, the glow of a vibrant sunset._

 _"Papa doesn't like it when I see his thoughts." She didn't want to say he and mama had argued. Papa had accused mama was teaching her mind-reading, whatever that was. Jaina didn't see one thing; she saw everything even papa's fear. Papa thought she was too strong to be so small._

 _"He wouldn't. No one did. They were afraid of me as a youngling, the same as you." She saw the Temple with its vast library, the tinkling of water from the courtyard. She saw the children with their electroblades practicing Form I with blaster droids, strange bulky helmets limiting their vision. "The Jedi Masters thought the gift was of the dark side. Their secret thoughts, their misgivings and follies were laid bare. No one is perfect," Loress said quietly, his voice muffled. "But, you don't have to be afraid of yourself."_

 _"Does mama have it?" The it she referenced seemed strange and wonderful suddenly. There was nothing in the galaxy that could be kept hidden from them. She was just like him._

 _"No." She could feel his smile, the secret they shared. Loress lifted his fingertips from her brow to the faintly smiling lips of the mask and back to her brow, pressing a faintly metallic kiss there. No more words were needed. She smiled and mimicked the gesture, pressing her fingertips to the metal that was cool to the touch._

BB-9e's chirp awakened her.

She sat up quickly, blinking the vestiges of the dream away. "Sorry, I didn't mean to sleep so long." She checked the coordinates, feeling her heart rate speed up. They were close to exiting the hyperspace lane. Jaina adjusted the flight computer, falling silent as the fighter exited into open space. She saw nothing at first then as she resumed manual control, flew forward, searching.

"Are you sure this was the right place?"

The droid chirped about the salt planet visible on the far left. The screen identified the world as Crait, catalogued as a former Rebel Alliance hideout. From computers they had analyzed on the surface, the data had revealed several other hideouts unknown to the old Empire on other worlds. Captain Amaral's Executrix had been sent to obliterate them recently.

 _Even the memory of the Resistance is destined to become nothing. That was what they wanted. To reduce them to a faint blot on the history of galactic domination like the Jedi_. Jaina piloted them steadily onward when a huge shape loomed on the edge of her scanners.

"There is it. It drifted far from its former location. But, I suppose that is to be expected." Jaina said, shifting the gear higher to angle over the massive remnant drifting through space. She was unable to keep her eyes off the shattered wing, gutted interior trailing like the viscera of a wounded animal. The malevolence from Snoke was gone. It was a ship, just a derelict ship. Looking at it now it was hard to believe she had ever docked a fighter within its mass main hangar. She had spoken to her mother on that ship. She had walked the corridors; she had flown a TIE fighter from it against the Resistance.

She had killed the Praetorian Guards.

She had killed Snoke.

Snoke had her grandfather's light saber in his collection. _That sick bastard…_ she cursed in her thoughts, wishing she could kill him all over again. She would've taken her time with him, made him relive the agony of his victims the way she had done to Soramar. A new thought occurred to her. _Had her mother known when Loress had passed? Had she felt relief that he was gone?_ She couldn't shake the memory of the gloved fingertips against her brow. _It wasn't a dream. It was a memory_.

"I'll be back, okay." BB-9e swiveled in the pilot's seat where she had lifted it, beeping warnings. Jaina couldn't find a smile, pressing her fingertips to her lips then to the droid's head. She fitted her helmet on, switching the view for nightscape.

Before her nerve could fail, she attached the line to her belt and climbed out into the vacuum of space. She walked along the edge of the ship, her boots thumping hollow against the metal encrusted with space dust. She felt the pressure against her body, weighing down the slight ring in her ears. She walked until she could descend down to the ruined gap, jumping down weightlessly. She switched the magnetic strips off the boots, reactivating once she had hit solid ground. She swung herself inside the shelled room - the bolted down equipment appeared lurid, darkened in the light of the glotube she shone over it.

She imagined a thousand ghosts living and working in the vacant rooms, the people living and dead who had risen from the ashes of the Empire. She started walking aware of her limited supply of filtered air and the long distance she had to go.

…

"Captain Farady."

Leander Macias, petty officer of the Star Dreadnought, approached the balcony where Farady was overseeing preparations. The ship was going to hold host to a meeting of the First Order commanders. Droids waxed the floors while officers from other departments scurried around contributing to the general chaos. Everything from the food that was going to be served in the massive kitchens to the main hangar where the shuttles were going to be docked had to be perfect and above all else, spotless.

"Yes?"

He leaned close to his superior, who looked briefly surprised. The pinched expression lifted, his eyebrows shot up, then doubt clouded his eyes. "Are you certain?"

"What?" The voice drew a curl of fear around his heart. Kylo Ren had approached, bringing with him the subtle malaise the petty officer had always felt whenever he was on the bridge.

Macias clicked his heels respectfully, trying to hide his discomfort. "Supreme Leader, there is activity detected around the former flagship of Supreme Leader Snoke's. It could be salvagers." He hesitated seeing the fleeting look of consternation on Ren's face. "What shall we do?"

"Send a squadron of TIE fighters." Farady suggested, grinning wolfishly. "That'll scare them off."

"No."

Both men turned to him.

" _No_ , well, what do you want? We can't make the jump ourselves not with the notices sent out. Some of the Captains are coming from faraway places. It'll take a day or longer for Captain Radford to get here from the Terramaire sector." Farady waved away another officer who wore a look of anxiety. A silver and white BB unit orbited in panicked circles around the man's legs. He thought the man might've been in charge of data analytics regarding food consumption.

"Who is the closest?" The sound of Ren's voice took him from his dark thoughts concerning gourmand appetites. _They hadn't made planetfall in years…,_

Macias had a datapad tucked under his arm. He consulted it now, checking the general flight patterns of the primary Star Destroyers in the First Order's armada. "Captain Amaral is exiting hyperspace. He is still onboard the Executrix, sir-uh, sirs. Shall we contact him?"

"Tell Amaral to decimate the Supremacy. It's a symbol of the past that is no longer needed."

Farady's color worsened; the mention of the past reminded him of his grandfather. "Order him to use his auto cannons. Make sure nothing is left of the First Order's beginnings."

Macias felt the malevolence in the air, his skin prickled beneath his grey uniform. Ren's distant gaze flittered to him and he felt himself quake in his boots. He had begun to understand why none of the officers on the bridge had wanted to find Farady and sent him instead. "Um, very good sirs!"

…

 _Do they think I am at their beck and call?_

Amaral stared at the message flashing on his datapad. He laid it aside and massaged his temples. Radford was on the other end of the line. The younger Captain had broached the subject of the flight school on Arkanis months ago, now that the time for addressing such matters was at hand, he had called to ask for Amaral's support.

"Has something happened?" Radford was taking the call on the bridge, surrounded by some of his most trusted officers.

The Dandorian felt the Star Dreadnought shift around him. His crew had begun the sequence for light speed without orders. "My crew is rebelling, V'lane. They're more afraid of Kylo Ren than myself. What is going on here?" His mutter was more to himself.

"Well, that's what I'm asking. What happened?"

Amaral hummed to himself. He was an effusive man, known for his gesticulating and frequent torpid furies. "Oh, nothing much. Seems someone triggered a sensor on the Supremacy and so now Farady thinks space pirates or salvagers are making off with First Order tech. Mind you, some of which was still good onboard." He was always thinking of hyperdrive motivators, coils and shiny bits. Amaral supposed his inner scavenger thrived inside him. "They want us to obliterate the Supremacy. Farady made sure to tell me to use the auto cannons. Do they think I'm an imbecile? What bloody else am I going use?!"

Radford disguised his chuckle as a cough. "Lady Ren told me about what happened to Soramar. I know he was stationed on the Executrix. On behalf of the Dauntless's crew, my condolences."

"Good riddance, I say." Amaral snorted, rising. He had been going through his wardrobe of uniforms and suit jackets. One in particular with a Darshaa silk interior had possibilities. Strict adherents to military code such as Duma, who was commander merely of the Tarkin, would wear their black uniforms without a touch of luxury. Radford would likely choose an enameled red plom bloom pin on his breast pocket as a reminder of Gatalenta. Amaral had heard the Gatalentian customs concerning color often enough.

"That fool was never here. He was always chasing down rumors about former Imperials. What were they called - Inquisitorius or something." Amaral laid out his finest gloves made of buttery soft leather. "I used to wonder why he never partnered with that other knight - you know, the hunter."

Radford shrugged, feigning interest. On the Dauntless, he was aware of Miura who glanced his way, nodding slightly to the BB unit rolling between the bridge pits. "Lady Ren always acts alone. I'm sure the others are like her. Coldhearted, inhuman freaks."

"You're just sore still over what happened." Amaral said sagely, laying out his dress shirt. One hand missing the tip of the third finger from a childhood accident fingered the wrinkled cuff of the right sleeve. "I always told you not to mix business with pleasure, V'lane. I'm the closest person you have as a friend in the First Order and you never listen to me anyway."

…

 _I have two choices_.

The gravity remained stable in some areas of the ship. _A testament_ , she thought, _to the Kuat shipyard's engineering marvels_. Jaina had checked the schematic on her wrist comm, pulling up the shortest route to the Throne Room. She knew the way to the cityscape having studied the maps interspersed through the Supremacy's corridors.

 _The bank_ …, hesitantly she turned from the turbolift shaft. The place where officers kept their credits, made their purchases from the tailor, paid for little bon mots with secretive exchange. Every ship had an underbelly of illegal goods going through it. She doubted Snoke's ship had been the exception. BB-9e always used to pester her about processor upgrades until the droid learned how to hack into the system and steal them from the droid pool.

 _When did I ever get such a thieving droid?_ She wondered, smiling behind her helmet. Jaina crossed through pools of shadow, the rasp of her breath through the air tubes loud in her hearing. She walked past shuttered stores, past automated droid cleaners who were silent, locked in stasis.

She checked the number on the key.

9146.

The hum of the saber cut through the absolute stillness. Jaina sliced through the barred doors, triggering an alarm of sorts. The blare caught her off guard. She immediately dropped into a defensive stance, then spotting the red light on the interior wall, hurriedly crushed it with the _Force_. She couldn't be bothered with such minor trivialities. Once the alarm was silent, she stepped into a long room with a wide counter where protocol droids had once stood. Against the far wall, she saw a massive vault-style door with an electronic lock combination.

The droids were gone.

She hopped over the counter, sweeping the glotube over the scattered flimsiplast sheets with sums written on them, a few datapads remained beside electronic styluses resting in stands.

"They took everything out of here." Setting the light down at an angle, she found the switch on the datapad. The screen booted up to the stylized black cog logo of the First Order. "But, the key…," she had started to think she had gone on a wild goose chase. She navigated over to the search field, imputing the key code into the box. Jaina waited while the screen loaded the results.

 _Nothing_.

"Try Personal Deposit Box." She read the suggestion below the zero results found. _10,000 personnel had safe deposit boxes within their personal quarters. The rest which had higher coded numbers were contained in the vault. A safe…a personal safe…one that would be in a room_.

In the middle of the vast darkened heart of the Supremacy, she connected to the fighter's comm unit. "BB-9e," her voice came through distorted, mechanical. "I-I need to know where the quarters were for - for my mother." _If they still exist and didn't explode into nothingness_. Jaina felt the cold grip of despair clenching her chest. "The safe wasn't here. It was in her room." She forced the trembling of her jaws to stop. "Please."

The droid's responding beep was quieter. Far above, the blue photoreceptor eye watched the slow passage of space beyond the red cockpit window. BB-9e's internal computer pulled up a map of the Supremacy, running a search on personnel. The name came up almost immediately.

 _Jessika Ionone._

The droid then transmitted the quadrant number to her wrist comm, including a beep to be careful. She looked down at the number, struggling to compose herself. She was sure now. The quadrant wasn't far.

 _The place she had returned to after each shift._

 _When I spoke to her, I never thought that would be the last time I would see her alive._

She hurried up a flight of emergency stairs, climbing up to the next level. The corridors were longer, lined with nondescript doors secured by biometric keycard readers. Jaina went by tens, running through the hallway, her light shining in crazy arcs. She passed by the door set in an L-shaped alcove and backed up slowly.

This was it.

She made short work of the flimsy panel with the saber. The smoldering edges of the door exuded heat against her body when she slipped through into a modest sized room. A twin-size bed with a plain nightstand occupied the central space. The communal 'fresher was in the hallway with sonic showers. Jaina looked around the room with its wrinkled bedding; one corner of the top grey blanket was drawn back.

The small detail caught her eye.

She peeled off her left glove; her slightly curled fingers damp from the confining fabric lightly stroked the fabric. Instantly, she saw a light airy room, the willow frame headboard was painted white, the sheet was lifted on both sides, fluffed up with the rippling movement by a set of hands. The sheet fell in wrinkled folds back down, mother and daughter alike, grinned at each other.

Jaina sank down on the edge of the bed, fumbling to depress the button on the helmet. After several tries, she removed it. The tears had already begun flowing, hot and fast down her face. She couldn't stand it anymore, the bulky pilot helmet, the reminder of what she had been. Jaina rubbed her face, smearing the tears and sweat. Her plastered strands of longer hair clung to her cheek, sticking to her lips when she gasped for breath. After a few minutes, she lurched to her feet, running her bare hand over the tactile surfaces.

She saw so many things.

The Supremacy in orbit over strange worlds.

The strange tall and thin alien navigators who charted the Unknown Regions, finding lost hyperspace channels for the Mega Star Dreadnought to travel safely.

She saw the bland food, the routine of patience Mara wore in like a groove into the floor. Jaina touched the console and saw the occasional message to the Tarkin. Her mother wasn't important enough to warrant watching. If anyone asked what she used her credits for, it was to purchase a data pass.

She found nothing concerning Loress Jade.

There were so many days interwoven into years that it was too much to separate into a conscious stream. Jaina, knowing her time was running out, tried to take in as much as possible, wishing she could gather up the disparate streams of emotion, memory and take them with her.

Finally, she came to the bed again, touching the folded corner. No one else had touched it after her mother had left it just so. Jaina balled the fabric up in her fist, lifting her eyes to the place where her child-self had been in the memory.

The only thing on the wall was a plaque of the First Order symbol. Mara Jade looked at it every day when she got up and made the bed, thinking of her daughter.

 _Why?_

Jaina went around the bed and lifted the plaque off the wall. A spherical indentation of a keyhole had been hidden behind it, the outer circumference the exact shape of the plaque. Something light colored fluttered at the edge of the plaque, falling to the floor. Jaina set the plaque down and bent to pick up the piece of what she now recognized as flimsiplast. It was a static image of them in front of a rain-streaked window. The little dark-haired girl she had been, cried while her mother knelt, arms around her, trying to comfort her. The sad thing was she couldn't remember that day, or the sound of the rain. She couldn't remember Mara's arms around her as a child. She couldn't remember anything.

She slipped the photo into her pocket, pulling the key out. Inserting it into the keyhole, she turned it with difficulty until the tumblers cranked, aligning with the inner pattern. The spherical door popped open. She didn't bother with the light; she reached inside probing the empty space. She was almost sure there was nothing, and then her fingertips skated over a holotape.

 _That's it?_

She slipped it into her pocket with the key. Taking one last look around, she went back and smoothed the covers with one corner turned over. Reaffixing her helmet, she switched the life support system on and stepped out into the hallway. She had planned her route out. Deliberately not thinking of anything, she headed for the stairs. It was better not to think about it now. She would think about it later. She had to keep moving. At the door on the landing to the city level, Jaina stilled, hearing movement. Labored grunts, the sound of something being dragged.

Wrapping her hand around the light saber, she flung open the door and stepped into sight, igniting the blade. Someone leapt back into the shadows, abandoning their bag of loot. The glow of the saber lit the air around her. She could see the tensed figure - unusually small, holding the muzzle of a blaster.

"It's been a long time since I've been challenged by a light saber." The voice was faintly rustic, the accent tones deep and definitely female. A bright light suffused the surroundings, dispelling some of the gloom. Jaina squinted, her visor blinded by the nighttime view setting. Now, she could appreciate the blindness experienced by Stormtroopers in the field. She couldn't see a blasted thing.

"Who are you?"

"Who am I?" The tiny woman released a hearty chuckle. "Who are you?"

She thought about how she was dressed. "I - well I was a former pilot." She thought the woman might've been a salvager or a space pirate. They were a rare breed now that the galaxy had some semblance of order from chaos. "We're probably here for similar reasons." She thumbed the switch on the saber, ignoring the feeling she had disarmed herself. _I am never alone. The Force is my ally._ Her gaze slid down to the bag that lay on the floor between them. She could feel something within the bag, a faint stirring of energy. Dark side energy. The woman had been in Snoke's mausoleum.

"I gathered that much. Are you sure not currently a pilot?"

She felt the subtle change in the air. The woman maintained a distinct hatred of the First Order. The dark side objects were reacting to it. _But, not to me_ , she realized, surprised. Her glance flickered upward, her fingertips twitched, depressing the ignition. She had seconds after ignition for the blade to spring forward. The little woman fired off several shots. Instinctively, she spun the blade in a circle, each shot countered off harmlessly.

Somewhere distant, the droning echo reminiscent of a massive starship exiting hyperspace went unheeded by the two women.

…

BB-9e's audio sensors detected the sound. The droid saw nothing, just the limitless expanse of space beyond the wreck of the Supremacy.

There was something…a shadow…the droid leaned above the pilot's console, head tilted forward. Far above, the massive wedge-shaped starship recognizable as a Star Dreadnought class hovered, stationary.

 _/Uh-oh/_

…

The lights had been lowered for optimum viewing effect. Amaral paced between the bridge pits, his suit jacket halfway buttoned over his high-collared dress shirt. "Are the cannons charging?"

"Fifty seconds until full charge!"

He blinked at the rapid fire response from the cannon station. His officers looked more excited than he felt at random destruction. He supposed they had been falling into routine boredom without Resistance scum to be fighting. He could see the outer edge of the Supremacy and nothing else. "Why are the lights dimmed if we can't see anything? What's going on here?!"

"Sorry, sir! Our coordinates were a bit off."

The radar station officer looked up, embarrassed. "Sir! There was something the size of a TIE fighter perched on the southwest quadrant of the Supremacy."

"Where?" Amaral strode to the massive viewport windows. "I can't see a blasted thing from here! Are you sure, um - whoever you are." _Why were his officers shouting? This whole thing was getting blown out of proportion._

"Thirty seconds until full charge!"

"Well, whatever. Let's just get on with it." Amaral muttered; surprised when the comms officer swiveled around, lowering the headset from his ears. "Sir, Supreme Leader Sno- Ren, is making contact from Captain Farady's ship."

"Oh, very well - wait. Give me a minute." He hurriedly flicked the buttons on his jacket, impatiently waiting for a protocol droid to bring his spare hat. Amaral folded his arms behind his back, straightening his pose. "You may accept the call."

…

The blue holographic glow of the Executrix's bridge expanded in view. Kylo eagerly studied the background. He could see the stars beyond the tinted lighting and reflective panes. Amaral hovered into view, a slight dark-skinned man erect in bearing. His narrow, pointed features had a vague element of elfin cruelty and refined taste belying the origins that Kylo Ren knew. The Dandoran native had grown up amid the remnants of the Imperial Installation on the planet. An outcast because of his father's participation in Project Blackwing that had seen a portion of the planet's population devastated; Brendol Hux had found the boy living as a scavenger in the ruins. Something about Amaral's animalistic nature had appealed to the former instructor.

Amaral had risen through the ranks, a favored son among the many Brendol had viewed as replacements for his disappointment in Armitage. Kylo was aware of Hux's look of sneering hatred toward the holograph of the Captain. It was another slight that Hux had never forgotten.

"Ah, Supreme Leader, General Hux, Captain Farady." Amaral's voice came through slightly tinny. "Good, we're in position to fire when ready."

Kylo watched as a separate screen appeared from the underbelly of the Dreadnought revealing the wreckage of the ship he had lived on for five out of the eight years since the Academy. A microcosm of the humiliations he had faced at Snoke's hands went through his head, the taunts, the Force generated lightning he had been hit with when his temper got out of hand surfaced with a vengeance.

It belonged in the past. Consigned with the pyre that had burned Snoke's body.

"Kill it."

Amaral nodded to someone off screen.

"What're we waiting for? Fire."

…

The first of the explosions ripped through the outer hull of the ship. Jaina felt the floor rock as her wrist comm unit came alive with frantic beeping. BB-9e's voice box tripped over beeps trying to explain.

 _Get out of there._

 _Dreadnought._

 _Amaral._

She deactivated the saber, taking one look at the little woman. They had been at a stand off for the last few minutes. Blaster scorch marks had hit the walls and ground near her. She hastily dropped her Soresu stance as the other peered over the low architectural wall framing an artificial box garden outside a café.

 _We need to get out of here._

They nodded to each other and ran off in different directions.

Jaina switched the responder on. "Get out of there! You're right on top! Yes - yes, you can fly the ship!" She was aware of the haphazard dash through the hallways, the suddenness of the silent droids coming to life as a klaxon blared from somewhere.

A hundred deafening voices in droidspeak rose up around her. She saw several red-eyed BB-9es rolling fast down the corridors, beeping for officers who were either dead or had left them behind.

 _So many._

She raised her voice, shouting to be heard. "Amaral is firing on us! There's no one else left! I'm -I'm sorry!" _We're all going to die here_. She had almost reached the end of the corridor with a few protocol droids who were jabbering amongst themselves. She half-thought to use the light saber to cut through the bulkhead door. Before she could reach for it - air rushed through the corridor. Her heart nearly stopped in her chest. Air. There was only one reason why air would be rushing through the sealed ship..

"BB-9e!" She gasped, bringing the wrist comm close to her face mask. "I'm going to try and reach the escape pods. Maybe there's one left." _I'm only saying this for the droid to move. I know there's none left_. She felt the stitch in her side, her lungs screaming for more air than the suit could supply.

BB-9e's protests began again.

"No! No! Listen, happy beeps." _That's all I want to hear_. "Just happy beeps."

One tiny trill came through the comm unit, then she disconnected it as gravity sucked her backward through the ship.

…

The comm unit went silent.

BB-9e held on for a few seconds longer then reluctantly dedicated its many tensile arms to flying the TIE fighter away from the blast zone. The Star Dreadnought didn't notice one space superiority fighter jetting off, precariously tipping from side to side. The droid wobbled in the seat, powering off all unnecessary functions to turn and face the far off destruction of the former flagship.

The slightly domed line of the roof angled into shattered edges. The cannons had blasted into the Supremacy once - twin streams of red plasma punching through the resistant hull, setting fire to the interior. Amaral was powering them up again.

The droid dialed in the code for the Executrix, desperate to stall them. The comms center picked up the broadcast - the droid started beeping only to watch the line go dead. / _Ridiculous officers didn't know droidspeak./_ The second volley was so bright, it lit up space, a vibrant vicious glow reminiscent of Starkiller Base. The droid's arms retreated into its round body, watching as the interior decks canted, the ship collapsing into itself. BB-9e released a long mournful beep; it was doubtful anything, even a droid could've survived.

…

Snoke's memory belonged to history.

Silence reigned on the bridge of the Ravager.

"It cost an untold amount of credits to build it." Hux commented, seemingly unimpressed. Farady had already resumed looking at a datapad. "If I'm no longer needed here, I must see to preparations elsewhere." The Captain clicked his heels and walked off with one of the petty officers following. Kylo held his hand up, causing the comms officer to stop from cutting off the connection.

It was strange, he almost felt something viewing the total collapse of Snoke's ship. _More than that it was a familiar sense of someone._ He had the sensation of _floating - breathing through the shattered rasp of airtubes_ -

He dropped his hand into a fist and strode off. Hux stared at him for a moment, then exchanged a glance with Peavey. The older man was at a loss on what to say. Ren's mood swings had seemed better when they were docked above the Tarkin. Peavey endeavored to suggest it with a shrug to the general's irritation.

"Can you turn that thing off?" Hux snapped, gesturing violently to the camera feed of the Supremacy.

…

He had felt something.

A sense of realism _, a presence there, exhaling charred air in the ice cold vacuum of space._ The filtration system couldn't stop the acrid odor of burning metal from being sucked into the tank.

In his quarters, he put her personal code in the console, expecting her to pick up. He waited for several minutes, waiting for the dial to turn green indicating call accepted. _Something was wrong. She always wanted to talk to him. She was hurt when he wouldn't talk to her. Without reading her mind, he knew her weakness_.

 _I can't feel her through the Force._

 _They were too far away._

 _To feel someone through the Force, he would have to_ \- violent rejection pulsed through his body. He slammed his fist into the wall, only vaguely registering the tingle of pain splitting through his glove. Through meditation, through a Jedi technique he could open himself up.

Kylo thought of Luke's instructions, his uncle's calming voice as the others - faces he couldn't remember, looked up raptly. He couldn't stop it. The glass bottle on the table across the room ratted in response to his emotions. He couldn't do it. Not without remembering Luke. Not without associating everything in the light with his betrayal.

 _I can heal._

 _Can't I?_

 _Or was she lying?_ He hated doubting himself. He always doubted himself. She didn't doubt herself. Not in the self-crippling way that stopped him. Kylo glanced at the console. Nothing had come through.

The bottle clinked.

He knew without looking around that anything not bolted down, was levitating.

 _"You're not a monster."_

 _Why did she say that?_

 _"Because I know you."_

Kylo left his cape on the edge of the bed. His quarters were as spartan as the others he had on the Star Destroyers. He sat down on the floor, folding his long body into the old cross-legged position. He thought of Luke. It was inevitable that he thought of the man. _Summers on Chandrila…a summer house_ \- those were things he hadn't thought of in a long time. Those things had no bearing on who he was anymore. _They belonged to Ben Solo, the dead boy._

He pulled away from the faint memory.

He was back in the room, unable to detach himself from his present mind. Kylo growled in his throat, furious with himself. Even if he succeeded, she would think something else. She would assume he was trying to make a connection with her. That he wanted her needed her.

Kylo climbed up to his feet, refusing to accept the reason for his own concern. The nervous tension remained in the set of his shoulders. Going over to the side door attached to his bedroom, he input the code in the keypad. The door unlocked revealing a small circular sitting room. On the center table, Darth Vader's helmet rested, the serpentine lines crushed into deformed eye sockets and mouth respirator. Beside the helmet, lay the Skywalker light saber.

 _"That's mine!"_

How childish he had sounded then.

As always when he entered the small room, he felt the presence of the dark side. It had lessened in intensity as the months had passed and now he felt very little of it beyond his own strength. Was it another trick of Snoke's? _To make him believe and identify in Darth Vader's legend?_ Kylo sat down facing the helmet, his glance straying to the saber hilt.

He could see it piercing Rey's body.

 _"Ben."_

 _My old name._

 _It was time to let old things die._

 _Rey wasn't going to let him forget the past._

 _"Who did you see when you looked into Rey's eyes?"_

 _Who did he see?_

 _I'm not sure._ Why couldn't he have said that? Why couldn't he admit the uncertainty he felt magnified in her presence? Because TN-1063 had seen what was in his mind - an elusive memory, or something when he pilfered Rey's memories. Rey's abandonment…but she wasn't abandoned. She was thrown away like garbage. No one had seen how much she was worth…no one, except him.

And Snoke, that corrupted, vile thing. He hadn't wanted to believe something so precious, the bond between him and another person had come from something so hideous. _Then, what stops me from her?_ He had no control over her, no way of pillaging her memories the way he had gone through Rey's head.

His gaze slid over the third object on the table, small and saucer-like, the playback feed emitted a small holographic beam upward, replaying images downloaded onto it. Lightly gesturing with his fingertips, the holograph projector began to play.

…

 _It's her._

Somewhere, he could feel the spark of light cutting the darkness. Luke turned away from the probing look of the Jedi Masters. He could ignore them all he wanted and eventually they would leave him alone. Over the past six months while he had tried to figure out what to do with his remaining life, they had appeared to him. Sometimes Master Yoda alone, sometimes a tall woman he had never met before, and rarer still, Obi-Wan Kenobi. Their hopes were with the pilot. The pilot who was brave and stupid all at the same time. She reminded him of his younger self, far too much.

"She needs you."

"I can't give her anything."

The Gilad Pellaeon was different than most starships he had flown on. He had distant memories of Home One, the Rebel Alliance's Mon Calamari cruiser… _oh how far they've fallen_.

"Then, what are you doing here?"

 _I don't know._

He wasn't a prisoner nor treated as such. He was a hero, a damned hero to the cause…the so called Galactic Peace. Dameron needed to shut up about the spark that would burn the First Order down. Luke felt his old disappointments rise up, overshadowing his initial curiosity.

"I'm here for Leia."

He needed them to rescue her.

His Master's eyes bore into him. "All that is?"

"She's my sister." Luke's gaze shifted away from the shiny surfaces, the mirror-like silver and gold, the carpeting, the furniture. In those reflective surfaces he saw an aged man, the beard trimmed, the brown hair greying but respectable now. He was no longer the ragged hermit Rey found on the island, nor the man she had danced with at the Lanai village.

He was Luke Skywalker. Just Luke Skywalker and they were asking him to be the legend.

" _You_ can help her. The kid has survived long enough _without_ me."

A new voice he hadn't heard in years spoke from the starviewing platform. "Just walk away, Luke. Walk away from decency and humanity, always abandoning people. It's alright." Anakin wore an unpleasant smirk on his face. "We understand. Rey was too much. Jaina isn't enough. Neither are what you wanted them to be."

"You stay out of this." He pointed at the youngish man who laughed snidely, revealing too much teeth. "I was fine without you."

"Touché."

"Typical." Shaak Ti said disgusted. "You connected with her and yet you deny the light you saw."

"Someone else can help her. I can't do anything."

"That's where you're wrong." He turned and came face to face with Obi-Wan. The ghost held a bluer tint to his outline, but the same eyes of old Ben looked into his. It was the closest he had seen him come to anger.

"Right now, she feels the way you did when you lost them."

 _Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru._ Luke had a flash of Tatooine and the twin suns setting in the distance.

"Someone was there for you, Luke. I was. No one is there for her right now."

He blinked reluctantly drawing in breath.

"I can't reach her. I can't save her."

"She can save herself. You just have to remind her why she has a reason to live."

He stared hard at the ghost then looked down at the tiny Jedi Master behind him. Anakin shrugged, failing to look disinterested. For a moment, he almost relented, then he remembered Rey holding the light saber out to him.

Twice, she had done so, her Force signature dull with desperation and what had he done about it? Let her walk into Snoke's trap and die. Along with her, the galaxy's spark died.

"I'm sorry; you're looking at the wrong person." Luke said, furious with himself. Shaak Ti faded along with Obi-Wan, disappointment lingering like a shade in their place.

"Changed you have, Luke." Yoda murmured and then his old Master faded. Only Anakin stayed behind, the young man who had been a legend in his own day.

"Go away. Go bother Leia. She always wants to do something for the greater good." Luke stalked past him onto the starviewing platform. He couldn't wait for the Star Destroyer to move into position so they could begin putting together a plan to rescue Leia.

"She doesn't want to see me. Even if I could appear to her, she refused to acknowledge me." The ghost of his father had lost the cocksure attitude. "They may say I was not myself when Alderaan was destroyed, but I do remember it and _I am sorry_. I'm sorry, Luke, but I don't want you to make the same mistakes I did."

"Well, you appear to _her_." Luke felt the cold of the metal railing segmented into the circular tube, bite through his glove into flesh. His mechanical hand tightened around the railing. He remembered Bespin and his youthful naiveté. "I don't want to have anything to do with the Jedi anymore."

"That woman is the future of the Jedi Order."

"I don't care!" Luke snapped, turning to glare at him. "You appear to her. You help her. You're going to train her, aren't you?"

Anakin scowled at his son; sometimes he hated the fact that the Skywalkers were either a pain in the ass or stubborn idiots. "She doesn't know who I am."

"Doesn't she?" Luke's challenge went unanswered.

…

She was drifting through the stars.

Conscious of the weightlessness of her being, she felt unbearably light drifting in the vast cosmic sea. It was cold, so very cold. There was no bottom, no top to space, only the vastness of infinite star systems, pinpricks of light painted in a tapestry of night.

Her fingertips twitched - the blast had catapulted her through the walls, tearing through durasteel, through the interior with its rampant black and crimson design. She probed open space, unconsciously searching for something. The flimsiplast image remained out of reach, floating with the remnants of debris. She didn't have to open her eyes; she could feel it drifting just beyond her reach.

So close.

Her fingertips encased in the thick flight glove curled over the sheet. The moment she had it within her grasp, she could hear the sound of the rain spattering the window. Someone was droning about the lost art of photography - _a droid, a noisy old bipedal droid with the scuffed insignia of the Empire on its metal shoulder blades._

 _"Kay-too."_

Yes, how could she have forgotten?

 _He was as talkative as Threepio_.

The Imperial security droid spoke Basic and never stopped talking. He was one of a kind, someone used to say, saved them time beyond count.

 _But, who was Threepio?_

 _"I want to go outside." She was drawing stars on the datapad instead of practicing her letters. Someone with slender hands, pretty feminine hands tugged the datapad away from her. They were sitting at the table, four chairs occupied. The light was dim, the day dark from overhead storm clouds._

 _"Well, you can't. It's raining." Someone said waspishly, they were looking at a flight simulation on a datapad. She could vaguely see their outline, but she knew it was a boy hunched over the table._

 _"Kaytueeso, I have an idea. Can you create a physical image?"_

 _"I've studied human photography, Mistress Jade." Said the droid eagerly. "I can produce a reasonable facsimile according to Master Jade." Once Kaytoo warmed to a subject, the KX series droid never stopped. "He has numerous images of you and the child in his study. I made a very good image of her grandmother-"_

 _"That's enough, Kaytuesso." She felt herself pulled out of the chair. She was so tiny; her feet never touched the floor. Mara/Jessika was holding her, setting her down. The droid's white photoreceptor eyes blinked owlishly, its grey metal head swiveling to follow her movements._

 _"Why don't you make a photo of us?"_

 _She wasn't sure if she said anything. Maybe she did. It was novel, exciting. They were posing in front of the window where the diffuse rain-washed light framed them. K-2SO had a set of colors, the flimsiplast sheet specially treated with albumen to preserve the image._

 _She wanted someone else in the picture; but he was refusing._ _"I don't even want to be here. Why would I want something to remind me of you?"_

The scene was fading from her. She could hear and see them, but it was less as a participant and more of a spectator.

 _"See what you did? Now she's crying!"_

Jaina felt herself surfacing; the cold had left a sheet of ice crystals on her visor. She could see nothing; feel nothing except the emptiness around her. She blinked, exhaling inward, the last few gulps of air filtered into the mouth respirator. _Had she imagined the shadow passing overhead?_

…

The droid had exhausted its algorithmic calculations.

The life support system was running out of air. BB-9e was running low on battery life. Hours had passed since the Supremacy's final destruction. The droid watched the fires die out in the cold, airless vacuum of space. The scanners had detected nothing living among the debris field. The concept of hope was impossible for the droid to understand. BB-9e knew what its processors were saying, but still it kept searching.

She was out there; she had to be out there. The droid had seen nothing launch from the Supremacy's ports before the blasts.

 _/Six minutes/_

The droid trilled one last time, holding the comm channel open.

…

Maz hesitated on pulling her blaster. She had no patience for _Force_ users and even less tolerance for the First Order.

She thought of emptying out her cargo hold into space. The pilot would die within minutes of exposure. As she was unconscious, Maz was certain she could punch the airlock button at least before the woman was aware. But, then that would defeat the purpose of why she had patrolled the debris field.

 _Or the woman could kill her without opening her eyes._ She could break her the way Maz had seen Jade, the Emperor's Hand, with her victims. Some of her comrades, her friends had fallen under the influence of an ill-fate, falling prey to Jade. The woman looked like her, resembled her so much that Maz was taken back to the moment when she had first lain eyes on the assassin.

There were some like Bazine Netal, who operated for both sides if the price was right and then there had been that beautiful young woman who spoke little, whose power was an armor she wore around herself.

Maz couldn't forget she was the one who had presented the Skywalker legacy saber to her.

 _"Keep it safe."_

She had given it to Rey on Takodana, imagining the future was written in the stars. _Rey, the vergence in the Force was meant to restore balance, not the daughter of a murderer._

 _Why was fate so cruel?_

She thought of Rey, innocent sweetheart, who was gone now while Jade's daughter survived. It didn't seem fair. But, maybe life wasn't fair. Jaina's blue eyes slid open as if sensing her dark thoughts. Maz didn't want her there any more than she could help it. The woman came to with a slight start. She glanced around herself as if ascertaining she was not still drifting among pieces of burning wreckage. Then, gradually, she shifted her gaze from the crates, barrels of foodstuffs and slung rope draped in the corner.

 _She didn't ask where she was._

 _Of course she didn't._

 _She had Jade's power; she already knew._

"You met my mother. She frightened you." The pilot's eyes pinned Maz in place. She knew she was reading her, but she couldn't feel it.

"She was an assassin."

 _I hired bounty hunters to track her down._

 _I had reason._

"That woman took her share of blood." The former pirate queen said. She had been many things, but she was known mostly by that name.

"But, she let you go."

 _I couldn't forgive her._

"She turned toward the light. Anyone can have a reason to return if they have someone to live for." Jaina said as if it didn't matter. Maz slowly adjusted her corrective lens, moving slowly toward the pilot. The blue eyes stared into her eyes. The _Force_ was calm like a sea around her, so deep so cold unlike the _Force_ around Rey that everything had bent to it.

"You know what I did."

She could see the truth in those eyes.

"Yes, I do. You recognized this light saber on the Supremacy."

Maz inclined her head slightly. She had seen the winged blade cut through some of her closest friends. "Your mother wielded it. It was passed down through her father to her and now to you."

Jaina's lips parted, the photo lay in her lap. Maz couldn't say whether she saw light or darkness in her face. "You're the one who sent bounty hunters after us on Chandrila. You were the one who grandfather warned my mother about."

 _The past will always catch up to you_.

"Since when did you know? Did she tell you?" Maz's voice was rougher, higher than it usually was.

"I saw on the Supremacy. When I felt your hatred seeing the light saber." The pilot blinked and her gaze slanted toward the bag propped on one of the crates. "You were retrieving dark side items from Snoke's collection; those same items reacted to your negative emotions. You're a Force sensitive." Her lips curled into a tight, bitter smile. "You should be happy. My mother is dead now."

Maz thought of Jade, the assassin, the wife, the mother. She had thought so. Slowly, she backed up and sat down on one of the low crates facing Jade's child. "Your father left her - and you. I saw my chance, not let bygones be bygones like the New Republic. Jade was the one thing I couldn't let go of." Maz knew Emmie was going to come looking for her eventually. The ancient protocol droid would likely insist on making the pilot comfortable. "I saved you because I was sorry."

"Even after living a thousand years, you haven't learned that there is no death, there is only the Force." The small bitter smile relaxed into a look of serenity. Maz saw the light subside into peaceful balance within the woman's Force signature. _That acceptance, that peace…Rey never had it_. "That is something the Jedi used to say. Do you believe it?"

"I do. I know we will be reunited one day."

…

The Tua-Lu hovered above the drifting TIE fighter. Jaina guided the anchor supports with the _Force_ , pausing in front of the airlock. "You should know," Jaina said her helmet tucked under her arm. "Mara Jade buried herself alive on the Supremacy waiting for a chance to destroy Snoke. She was not the murderer you thought she was."

Maz observed her and nodded slightly. She had accepted the consequence of her actions long ago. "There is…one thing." She said hesitantly, her space helmet muffling her voice. "I had something that belonged to you-"

"It's alright. I still have this one." The pilot smiled, touching the saber clipped to her belt. "The only thing that matters is how I use it." She affixed her helmet, making sure the line was hooked to the back of her belt. "I'm sorry too…for Takodana." Her last words were whispered as she hit the button for the airlock.

…

BB-9e's fuel cells were empty.

Jaina watched the pirate queen's ship jump to light speed. She had mixed feelings on Kanata. Revenge had driven her and Soramar, yet Soramar had lost his mind, surrendering to his darker instincts. Kanata had lived with her pain for thirty years or longer, yet the decades had seemed to pass in the blink of an eye for her.

Inputting the system coordinates, Jaina missed the droidspeak in the background as she leaned back in the seat. The space superiority fighter rocked as it shifted forward into the hyperspace channel. Once the craft remained at a comfortable speed, she lifted her gloved hand off the control yoke.

The cockpit was cold from its drift; the space frost has barely begun to dissipate from the red tiled window. She slipped her hand into her pocket, finding the edge of the flimsiplast sheet. The image had burned itself into her mind, she could've lost it in space and still remembered the colors, the play of light captured on her mother's youthful face. Jaina studied the spattering of tears on her child-self's face, the parted mouth wailing, the messy black hair gathered into little hair-buns - _why did my mother do my hair like that? It looked awful_. Then, she wondered as all did when confronted with an image of themselves from a past they vaguely remembered.

 _Was that me?_

A sob wrenched itself out of her throat.

 _Was that a memory or something I made up?_

 _I don't know the difference anymore._

…

There was a message in the computer system when she returned to her room. _"Did you find what you were looking for?"_

She plugged in the droid, waiting for the blue photoreceptor eye to flicker on. "Sort of." _I learned something else about my past that I didn't know before. My real father abandoned us. He definitely wasn't Pol Ionone who was there with us on the Executrix. Maz Kanata admitted she saw her chance to take revenge._ "My mother was many things. I know that now. She was an assassin who caused much suffering and grief. She was a wife to two men and she was the woman who wanted to protect me from Snoke."

Gaius had answered the comm in the sitting room of his personal quarters. "I always knew she was quite a woman. She was a duelist like her father before her, but she was also skilled in the dark side of the Force. You are a lot like her."

"Hmm, I'm not sure if that makes me happy or not." Jaina turned the holotape over in her hands. BB-9e couldn't decrypt it. She had no way of knowing if anything was even on it. "Kanata said my father left us, who was he?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"I'm not sure why…I guess it's part curiosity. I want to know why, I think. Why he left. Was it because of me? He left us and she came to the First Order. Why didn't Luke Skywalker help her?"

The old man looked about to say something, then stopped. "Skywalker was…many things as well. From what I gather, his own legend got to be too much for him. He wasn't some superhero from the Holomovies or the chosen one. I would like to lie and say he didn't care about the people around him."

"He didn't care." Jaina said, shaking her head slightly. "He let Leia Organa be captured. He let the scavenger girl walk into a trap. In the end, he created Kylo Ren. What love could he ever have had for them?"

Duma said nothing to that, whatever thoughts he had weren't visible to her. "You've met Leia Organa?"

"She's being kept on the Ravager." She noticed his surprise. "Why?"

"No, well, it's nothing. I'm surprised Ren hasn't ordered her execution."

She felt the immediate need to defend him. "He would never do that. Leia is still his mother…I think that's why the dark side hasn't consumed him because of his love for her." They talked a little more on the upcoming meeting. The time for departure was coming up. Duma signed off with a warning to be careful.

 _He doesn't know how right he is._

 _My whole world is balanced on a knife's edge._

She had minor bruising and cuts from the free fall through the starship's collapse. The destruction of the Supremacy would likely become part of her nightmares for many nights to come. Jaina almost loathed the idea of sleep, finally dragging herself to bed after a quick shower.

She subsided into sleep after a few tossing and turning motions. One arm had a bruise scoring from the elbow up to the shoulder, the other hurt occasionally from the saber scars. Finally, she shifted onto her back, drifting into an uneasy dream where she was lost among the stars.

…

 _I have to learn this._

She folded the scarf over her closed eyes, fastening it beneath her low ponytail. She felt a little shaky standing in the middle of the open space, one of her senses taken away. Her hand slid down to the hilt clipped to her belt, plucking it free. She depressed the switch. The blade sprung forward as she held the edge tilted upward at a slight angle. She corrected her grip, frowning. The hilt had to be waist level as she bent her knees with the right side being the non-dominant leading and the dominant left trailing behind.

"Alright."

 _I'm ready as I'll ever be._

BB-9e chirped across the room, releasing a single floating droid. She could hear the slight whir-whir of its hover mode approaching. The first blast came without warning, catching her arm. She grimaced from the sting, performing a wide slash. The hover droid darted out of range, catching her on the back. The non-lethal bolt sizzled on impact. She spun around, maintaining her footwork.

The saber hummed through the air - she thought, missing the droid still and the bolt. This time her hand smarted from contact.

 _What am I missing?_

"Ouch!" She cried, burnt in the same place. Switching grips, she roughly pulled down the scarf, deflecting the next shot to the floor. "Alright, alright, Solah!" The reprogrammed droid stopped, hovering mid-level near her hip. BB-9e rolled forward, beeping commentary on how funny she looked being blindfolded and waving the saber around.

"Very funny, har-har." Deactivating the saber, she returned it to her belt. She grabbed the floating droid from the air, turning it off. "Let's go get something to eat." The droid followed her to the cafeteria. A constant stream of officers filed past the glass-domed countertop. After selecting a protein bar and a cup of caf, she sat down near a cluster of grey-coated officers from data analytics who were discussing resupplying the fleet.

"I heard from Macias on the Ravager, that Captain Farady is going to make a resupply run after the meeting."

"Do you think anything's going to be decided?"

"What -" the second one was a redhead whose face was a map of freckles. "- like the new capitol? The Supremacy was our floating capitol and now it's long gone, blown into smithereens."

"How do you know?"

"It was broadcast on the HoloNet."

She and BB-9e glanced at the table across from them. The other officers exchanged looks at the one in the center. "Lavigne, who broadcast it?"

"I don't rightly know. The link was gone otherwise I'd show it to you now. But, even the page gave me an error after I watched it. But, that was nothing compared to that footage of the Knight of Ren slaughtering the prison guards." Lavigne shrugged uncomfortably, resuming eating his salad. "Makes me afraid of those Force users. Ordinary humans can't know what's in their heads."

Jaina and BB-9e looked at one another.

 _There's a spy in the fleet._

She finished the caf, ill at ease. She wasn't sure whether or not to report what she heard or not. The man likely had some curiosity, was bored at his job in data analytics. He was probably using up some of the bandwidth meant for strict communication between Star Destroyers. _But, what he had seen…someone had filmed the destruction of the Supremacy and gotten a hold of security footage from the Tarkin._ She returned to the training hall, feeling restless. _All the more reason to make progress on her training_.

"What am I missing?" She remembered the third-hand vision from her dream. _Grandfather as a youngling, practicing Shii Cho with the other students_.

"They weren't relying on their senses."

The droid sat at her feet, chirping suggestions.

"Use the Force. But, not to disable the droid."

 _Was it so simple?_

She nodded and pulled the scarf out of her pocket. "I want to try again. I'm never going to master Form I if I don't keep at it." She blindfolded herself again, taking up the Shii Cho stance. Instead of listening for the distinctive whir-whir sound of the droid, she ignored her physical feedback.

 _I can't feel anything._

 _I feel blinded_. Her heart rate increased. _Take away one sense and how does a blind person do it? By compensating with something else._

 _How does a Jedi handle a situation where they can't trust their senses?_

The floating droid burned her hand. Jaina flinched and tried to calm herself. _Center. Find your center. Let the Force guide you_. She tried and felt nothing. Just the sting where she kept getting hit. "Kriff!" She batted the droid away with the _Force_. "Solah!" The droid stopped firing and floated harmlessly away from her. BB-9e chided her impatience, chirping criticism.

"What am I doing wrong?" She felt the _Force_ stir behind her. Jaina half-turned to face Shaak Ti. "What is it?! I know the six zones. I know the footwork. Why can't I do simple blast deflection?"

The Togruta sensed her impatience. "Instead of asking what you're doing wrong, ask what you're doing right. Feel the _Force_ , feel it flow through you. You're tense on the floor, concentrating on the result and forgetting how to bring it about. This is not Soresu. You are not the eye of the storm. You are the determination, the will to be the victor."

She stared at her and then hung her head. "It's the most chaotic, second only to Form VII. I've been taught to value economy of motion." _Wild swings. Unpredictable movements. They have no place in my repertoire_. "I have to think about it." The Jedi Master accepted her decision with a slight nod. "Very well. You have everything you need to succeed. Remember, it is up to you to overcome your limitations."

…

 _They rely on the Force to guide their hand._

She lay in the darkness of her room.

"How does Kylo fight?"

BB-9e's blue eye lit up.

"Unpredictable, violent movements meant to always stay on the offense." She frowned, flexing her right hand. "Determination. What is determination? The will to win. The desire to succeed. Never give up. Never ever give up."

 _That's it._

She got up suddenly, startling the droid. "One more time." She switched the overhead light on, blinking in the sudden suffusion of brightness. Jaina found her shoes, grabbing the light saber from the table.

 _I'm not going to give up._

She saw few officers milling the corridors. The rotating guard shifts of Stormtroopers patrolled nearer the bridge during late shifts. Even nighttime falls in space, she thought, entering the training hall. Pools of shadow lingered on the edges; she closed her eyes seeing the faint glow of the _Force_ surrounding her, pressing against her eyelids.

"Turn all the lights off, BB-9e."

A responding beep came.

The bloodshine glow of the saber cut the darkness. She gripped the hilt in both hands, focusing on nothing and everything all at once. She could hear the droid's whir-whir as it propelled itself around her, but it was inconsequential. She didn't need to see where it was. She could feel it. Abandoning her physical senses, she let the blade move as extension of herself, swinging wide _. Cutting down. Across. Offense. Defense_. Switching back and forth until her arms hurt, she was out of breath, drenched in sweat.

But, she understood it now.

The base of all light saber forms.

 _Shii Cho_.

-TBC

AN: Thanks for reading! (I'm so tired right now, I can't think of anything to add here)

No flames

Please Review :-)


	4. Chapter 4

_The moon was high above the low grassy plain. A border of trees framed the backdrop of the marble white dome of the temple roofline. Saskia had heard the low rumbling in the air, a tremor presaging the shaking of the ground. She didn't want to move from the roll of blankets supporting her back. She wasn't all that good at dueling and Hvitur hadn't gone easy on her. Zahara's hand touched her shoulder. "I sensed a disturbance in the Force. Did you feel it too?"_

 _"Oh, go to sleep. It's probably one of Solo's nightmares." They were often disturbed by ground tremors, manifestations of his power in breakdowns of equipment. Saskia had heard him cry out more than once in his sleep when she was passing by on her way back from the 'fresher. She grasped the hard pillow wanting to wrap her head in it. She had an exam tomorrow on galactic history, Solo was in her class._

 _"Saskia-"_

 _"I said go to sleep!"_

 _Zahara's slight weight slipped off the bed. "I'm going to see what's wrong. You can stay there."_

 _She lay awake in the gloom, her hair frizzy down to her shoulders. Zahara was the bleeding heart she wasn't. Zahara wanted to befriend Solo; she believed they should show kindness, compassion for others. She felt sorry for him in a way Saskia didn't._

 _"Oh! I'm coming too!" She sat up in the nest of blankets she had made for herself, her bare feet swinging onto the woven grass rug. She found her shoes in the dark, hesitating once. She was the fourth or fifth student in her age group to construct a light saber. Zahara was envious of the yellow crystal in the simple silver hilt; the beam that shot out from the reflectors was solid and unwavering. Solo's was blue. He had finished after her, silent, a dark cloud hung over him whenever he was near the others. Saskia had thought of emulating by example and couldn't find the words to say to him. What could one to say to a loner like him?_

 _She grabbed the saber._

 _Zahara stood just outside their hut, stock still. Saskia stepped behind her, close enough to sense the slight palpitation of the youngling girl's fear. Solo stood there beyond them, his white night shirt trailing down to his knees. He had shot up in height, thin without the muscular physique he cultivated in later years. His black hair was past his ears, wavy, ruffled with dust. But, his eyes, wild and angry struck her the most. She had the immediate sensation this was no longer Ben Solo, but an animal in his form. An animal that wouldn't hesitate to attack if provoked._

 _"Ben," Zahara was ten years old, calm, so very calm beyond her years. "What happened? Are you alright?" Saskia winced; the words were full of compassionate concern. Zahara would be a true Jedi; she had the spirit of one._

 _"Skywalker tried to kill me." Ben's voice shook. He was not a boy; he was older than her by years. He was not yet a man in the true sense of the world. Saskia's gaze shifted to the lit saber he waved around. He was close to hysterics. This could go either way. She thought it would end badly no matter their best intentions. Everything was all too late._

 _Zahara accepted his explanation with a slight head-shake. "Ben, where is Master Skywalker? I don't disbelieve you, but where is he?"_

 _Don't ask. Don't think. He knows what you're thinking. He knows you don't believe him. He's used to being disbelieved, abandoned by his parents and now by his guardian. Saskia knew it all in a second of breath and then, she grabbed Zahara's thin shoulder, whirling her around. She ignited her own saber and blocked his sudden wild swing._

 _I'm not going to kneel to you, not this time._

 _"Get away!" She shouted at the small youngling girl. "Go!" She didn't have a moment to spare to see if Zahara ran or not. Ben crossed their sabers, lowering the two blades. Blue and yellow hummed in a blaze of sparks and heat._

 _"What do you think you're doing?"_

 _What I want to do._

 _"You're no Jedi."_

 _She heard Zahara's scream and knew Soramar had caught her. Little Zahara Trace would never become a Jedi nor would she. "No…but, I can die as one!"_

She awoke with a start, her hand swiping out. The _Force_ flowed around her fingertips searching for a living target. The holocall pinged from the terminal across the room. Saskia pushed the sheets aside and rubbed her face anxiously. It was always the same outcome no matter how many times she replayed the night of the Temple's destruction in her mind, her dreams.

Whether or not she saved Zahara from the first killing blow. Rallying the students…dying as a Jedi in her heart even as everyone was slain around her. Kylo could never know of her nightmares. They were poison to her position as a Knight of Ren. They were treasonous to the extreme, wishing she had taken her light saber, wishing she had fought back instead of remaining mute with horror and fear.

 _I knelt to him, to the monster he became._

She got to her feet, crossing the room in quick strides. "Yes?" Saskia answered without checking the ID. "You may forgo training with her." The voice undistorted by a modulator came through, chilling her blood. Saskia had a fleeting image of their imaginary duel from her dreams. Her sharp intake of breath she hoped was audible only to her ears.

"That's fine. Any particular reason why?"

"You're going on mission. The exact parameters will be sent to your communication device in a few hours."

"Do you want me to move her to the Dauntless or…,"

"No. Leave her where she is."

 _Right. So he can't make up his mind. That was fine with her_. Jaina was partial to the old Star Destroyer. She doubted the woman would want to leave her old berth to live on the same ship as him again. She had confessed as much once when they were resting after an intense sparring match. She had told her how she had asked for a transfer back to the Tarkin and how when everything was said and done, she had found herself back on the Star Destroyer she had lived on most of her life.

"Have you taken her completely off my hands?"

"For now while you're gone. She is going to begin learning force techniques..." From his clipped, brusque tones, the knight sensed an element of irritation. Jaina hadn't sent him a comm once she was healed up, preferring to start her training over slowly. Ren's brutality had likely made her reluctant to be in close proximity to him. _And there's no one else to blame except himself_ , she thought, smirking. "Have fun with her." Saskia said gleefully, cutting off the call.

* * *

 _I've barely begun this journey and sometimes it feels so late…I feel so old sometimes._ She pushed her extraneous thoughts away, trying to focus on the cracked datapad. "I know some of the letters in Basic." _I can spell my name at least_.

"Whether or not you can read, isn't the point of the lesson." Jocasta said. "The Jedi were peacekeepers. Huttese, Shyriiwook, it's all a matter of learning different languages to converse with others in your future environment."

Her irritation pulsed in the _Force_. Madame Jocasta Nu, the last keeper of the Jedi Archives, was a thin woman with her hair pulled back into a severe bun. She had a pair of glasses perched on her nose and unusually sharp eyes. Her voice was a faint raspy croak befitting that of an elderly woman. Jocasta frowned at her, "someday, you're going to need Shyriiwook to convince the co-pilot of the Millennium Falcon to give you something hidden on that ship."

"The _Falcon_ was Han Solo's ship. I thought it was shot down some time ago." She had seen a little bit of the battered old freighter from Leia's memories, along with the pain that had come from the woman's heart concerning her broken family.

"That's what the First Order wanted everyone to believe. You shouldn't accept everything at face value, Jaina. You know better."

Chastised, she shifted on her crossed ankles. She was feeling sleepy; the hour was late and her arm muscles were tired from practice. Maybe she was just getting old. Certainly, she didn't feel like she had the same amount of stamina from when she was nineteen. "How long did it take for a youngling to become a Jedi Knight?"

"Oh, years, ten sometimes more depending on the individual and the trials they undertook to prove themselves worthy of a master. You are not the oldest to follow the path of a Jedi. There was Nomi Sunrider, whose legend lived on in the annals of Jedi lore. She was strong in the _Force_ and particularly gifted in _Battle Meditation_. She was married to a Jedi Knight and had a child from him. After his death, she began her journey into knighthood."

 _So love can be experienced by those in the light_ , she thought, filing away the name. _Sunrider…,_ the reminder put her in mind of the younglings from Jade's memory. "What kind of child was my grandfather?" Jaina laid aside the datapad and stylus.

"You should be concentrating on your studies."

"I've been studying for hours!" _My eyes hurt and I haven't been able to feel my legs for quite a while._ "Please! Just tell me a little bit!" As she was wont to do whenever she was stressed or thoughtful, her fingertips glided over the waxy green stone set into the hilt. The action didn't escape the librarian's notice.

Jocasta paused to gather her thoughts, clearing her throat slightly. "He was a very thin, very pale boy. In the old Jedi Temple on Coruscant, children had to learn to live with no possessions in the dormitory in order to instill in them a detachment from worldly concerns. Jade had been taken as a young boy from his parents, but he was always hiding things in his mattress, small rocks, and colorful feathers. They were always thrown away once the doorkeeper was told."

Jaina leaned back, supporting her upper body on her outstretched left arm. Her palm rested flat to the flooring. "Was he intelligent? He seemed a little rebellious." _And somewhat like me_. She thought of her old quarters, the hard bunk, and the impersonal thin blanket where the hum of the engines used to lull her to sleep. There were no possessions to speak of, nothing except the droid and herself.

"Oh, yes." The librarian smiled reminiscently. "He was always in the archives. He loved history, languages and the stories of ancient Jedi and their deeds. I had never seen any of his generation so dedicated to learning."

"My mother probably heard many of those stories." She thought of the myth of the Sword of the Jedi. "Was he close to anyone?" She had nearly forgotten the rule of emotional detachment they had practiced.

"He had a fondness for droids. Republic era cleaning droids and security droids, anything artificially created. He was good with them; he could take them apart and make them work better."

She smiled, glancing to BB-9e. The droid trilled gently in response.

"Loress used to say he couldn't hear anything from them."

Her smile slowly faded.

"He was always alone, buried in the archives, beneath a table or hiding in a nook or cranny away from the other younglings. I worried for him sometimes."

"What do you mean?"

Jocasta looked like she was going to say more, faltering. "I thought it was a waste of potential, his thirst for knowledge lost if he was sent to an Ag world. That would've been the equivalent of being buried alive, the absolute worst thing for a mind like his."

"But, Loress became a Jedi Knight." Jaina said, frowning, sitting up straighter. "He was a year or two younger than Anakin Skywalker when _he_ was taken to the Temple. I saw his memory. He knew you when you were alive. He lived through the Clone Wars and - when the Jedi Order fell, he became a fallen Jedi." No one had ever told her all that per se, but she had assumed based on the little bit she had heard and remembered. "Loress wielded this light saber that meant he had passed the trials. Master Ti said they gave it to him."

Jocasta's gaze dropped to the winged hilt, _how she remembered it so well from where it had lain gathering dust in the hall beside the other legacy sabers from the Jedi Order's ancient past. She had almost reached for it when Anakin/Vader had come for her, but she had chosen another blade and left the legendary saber behind_. "I remember that light saber. The crystal was violet once. A pure lilac hue before it was corrupted."

"It's such a terrible thing when the crystals were made to bleed, although I think the red hue is lovely." She curled her palm over the kyber crystal chamber. The _Force_ resonated through the living crystal as it flowed through all things. "There's such sadness within the crystal, and loneliness. But, I suppose there would be after the Temple's destruction."

Jocasta studied her face for a moment, sighing softly. "Practice your vocabulary. I must speak with the other Masters now."

…

 _The stronger the light, the darker the shadow._

He said that once seeing the fear in his sister's eyes. _Leia rested her hand on her growing belly and tried to believe. They all wanted to believe in the strength of the light. Darkness wasn't going to taint the Skywalker blood. There was always a choice._ Luke leaned against the railing on the sky bridge overlooking the central plaza of the Star Destroyer's cityscape. The lights were dimmed in accordance with Coruscant time. Only the wraithwatch kept the starship running.

He was conscious of the man fifteen paces away from him. Conscious in another way because of the bundle the man bounced gently in his arms. The man was an officer on the bridge, in charge of radar or shield defense. He was newly married with a son or daughter wrapped in the grey blanket. The Gilad Pellaeon was cold at what passed for night.

The baby was crying.

They had two thousand children aboard the Star Destroyer born to the officers and mechanics whose spouses were mostly scattered across the fleet.

The Imperial Remnant needed children for their future as Snoke had needed them once.

Luke wished he could shutter his senses to the sound of the baby. He thought of Leia stroking Ben's downy black hair, amazed such perfection had come from her. He thought of a tiny hairless head, the furrowed little brow and seawater eyes watching the world. The baby, who was wrinkled and pink, new to the world, didn't smile, didn't cry or pee on anyone as Ben had done to Han.

"Ugly."

"That's not nice, Ben." Han didn't hold the little one. He was not the best of fathers, but Ben loved him like nothing else. Ben, with his round cheek and sulky little mouth, pouted as he peered distrustfully up at the tiny bundle that had been passed into his mother's arms.

The officer's baby quieted down into tiny hiccoughs. He was humming the fragment of a lullaby - or was that Leia in his memory, humming Mirrorbright? She was humming the lullaby Breha Organa sang to her in the cradle, she was humming it dreamily to the hairless newborn that was made of dark luminescence. Ben, whose brightness was like a star striated with darkness, hummed along.

"Luke." Leia chastised him with her eyes. It should've been his turn first.

He ached suddenly for that long gone moment. The infant slotted in his tentative grasp, not happy, not angry, observing him as he observed her.

 _Who are you, little stranger?_

His throat constricted, his face felt wet when he brushed the back of his flesh and blood hand across it. He looked up, the officer had left. He was alone on the sky bridge.

…

She stilled, sensing a slight tremor in the Force. It was there far away from her, existing as he always had. She was surprised he had chosen to reach out. He was always wary, always refusing to connect to others. Like uncle, like nephew. Luke was one to talk about Kylo.

 _"Pilot."_

Almost warily, she acknowledged the slight brush of his luminescent presence.

 _"Skywalker?"_

 _What does he want?_ In one way or another, they always wanted something from her.

 _"You should be asleep."_

 _"I always train at night."_ She sensed he wasn't leaving so quickly, setting aside the datapad.

 _"Why did you save me from Ahch-To?"_

 _"Was that what the island was called?"_ Jaina drifted into a meditative state at once. Luke's surprise pulsed differently than other emotions.

 _"How is it you meditate so easily?"_ He remembered Rey sitting cross-legged, facing the ocean, sunlight bathing her freckled face. The switch of a plant stalk rolled in his chapped fingers. Rey was so gullible, so eager to please. He had looked at her three hair-buns and thought how achingly familiar they were.

 _"It's the easiest thing. Swordplay is harder, but not as difficult as physical combat."_

 _"I wouldn't know much on that."_

 _"Terӓs Kӓsi was a style designed to combat Force users. It's a very old martial art."_ Jaina fell silent, realizing she hadn't answered his question. _"I wasn't going to save you. I had no intention of it. But, you attacked me."_

The Dreadnought happened.

 _"Things just happened. I feel like I owe you, pilot."_

 _"Why? You're still kicking; the galaxy hasn't collapsed into itself. Life goes on."_

 _"What?"_ He was mock-surprised, acerbic sarcasm flowing through the connection. _"You don't want any pearls of my wisdom?"_

 _"I don't want anything from you."_ She said annoyed. _"It's pointless to kill someone who wanted to die alone on that island."_ Jaina thought of Rey, the scavenger who had gone to the island in search of a legend. She had likely been bitterly disappointed.

 _"What did you see when you looked at Rey?"_ She asked before she could stop herself.

 _"Raw power, light so bright everything bent to it. I was going to go with her, you know. I had stopped wanting to die on Ahch-To after I felt her in the Force."_ He thought of Rey's bitter words at the Lanai party. _"Our real friends are dying out there."_ She was impassioned, full of righteous fury. Every emotion that it was wrong for a Jedi to have, had inspired some long forgotten hope in him when he saw it in her.

 _"What happened? Why didn't you go with her?"_

 _"I saw her and Ben holding hands. I saw with her what I had seen before."_ They were looking into each other's eyes, _the two halves of the Force_. " _I saw what I had tried so desperately to prevent ..._ " - _what I lost everything for,_ \- _"happening before me."_

Jaina fell so silent he thought she had disconnected herself. Luke felt nothing at first then gradually he realized she was concealing her emotions. She was deliberately walling off her feelings. She was good at it, yet the fact was her silence spoke volumes for her true thoughts.

 _"Wait…how did he…they…,"_

 _"They had a connection of some kind. I thought it was a Force Bond, but I believe now it was something Snoke created."_

She subsided into her own silence. _"You're right. I had forgotten….,"_ she had seen it in the throne room months ago. So he had cared for Rey. He had started to love her, hadn't he? _"He thought he had a connection with her. You had said he was incapable of connecting with others."_

 _"I was wrong in a way."_ Luke admitted grudgingly. Rey hadn't been enough to pull Ben from the darkness, if she had lived, who knew? _"He had a similar bond with someone a long time ago."_

 _"Oh?"_ He could feel her desperate curiosity. _"Who, his mother?"_

 _"No."_ Then, he went on quieter. _"You still care for Ben Solo."_

In the dimly lit room, she could see the luminescence of her own being

They told him, didn't they? Kriff…am I so obvious? This was getting ridiculous already. _"Not really."_ At least, Kylo's mother didn't know how pathetic she was. She had been careful to hide it from her the one time she had seen her. _It's been months and nothing. He cared for someone he had only known for a few days…what am I doing here then? What am I waiting for?_

 _"What does not really mean?"_

 _"No! N-O, no!"_

 _"Amazing, every word in that statement was false."_ Luke deadpanned.

 _"Go away."_

 _"As you wish."_

The Force flowed around her and the droid, agitated and alone.

…

In the wavelength of the living Force, the voices gathered. They could choose to appear to one another with the forms they wore during their lifetimes or as many of them chose, with only the consciousness surfacing yet they were aware of one another. They had been called forth by the undercurrent in the galaxy, the cosmic force summoned them. Jocasta was among them, her peers, ancestors. There were some she didn't know entirely, whose living essences were centuries past from her brief lifetime. Some were Jedi Knights, some were Masters from Dantooine, and some lost in the Galactic Civil War. They were ancient and numerous -

She addressed them now as equals in the Force.

"Why are we lying to her?" Her challenge sent a rippling murmur. The others were aware of what went on with the girl, watching her closely, waiting to assist in some small way.

"I already told them they were making a mistake." Anakin answered; Jocasta felt his presence suddenly, thinking of him as a little boy who always had an impertinent reply, whose fear of loss drove him into the darkness. The ripple shifted and she was conscious of the clear separation between them. They were clearly at odds on how much to tell the girl.

"What is keeping her in the dark about certain uncomfortable truths going to accomplish?" Jocasta rephrased her question; faces shimmered, corporeal forms clad in Jedi robes, some in ancient armor and others from a hundred different systems, talked amongst themselves.

"She will turn once she knows." Mace Windu said; he was foremost among the Jedi Council from its last days. "She will become one with the dark side and there will be no one to bring her back from the abyss."

Shaak Ti, who had perished long after the others, challenged him. "We have not completely lied to her. Luke Skywalker wasn't told the truth about his father-"

"Yeah, I told him." Anakin said bitterly. "Along with taking off his hand."

"-for good reason. It was kept from him until he was stronger in the light to prevent his fall." Shaak Ti spoke over him. "But, he was almost lost once he knew the truth."

"She should be told." Insisted Knight Surik; the former Exile had nearly fallen herself once she had learned of her own true nature during her lifetime. "There is always a chance she will turn as long as she lives or-" Surik offered; she had materialized in her human form, blonde, blue-eyed, clad in brown robes. "She may become stronger in the light and reject the Whills prophecy."

"It's only a matter of time." Aayla Secura shimmered into existence; the blue-skinned Twi'lek wore a slight frown. "She will find out one way or another. We don't know what Jade told her before."

"We know enough. We've been watching her since she was born." Anakin protested, looking from those familiar to his own life. "She should be told! The Jedi Order kept too many secrets in the past." Obi-Wan Kenobi appeared behind him, laying a restraining hand on his shoulder.

"Well, some of us have vested interest in her." Windu remarked, unphased from the heat in Skywalker's voice.

Brown-eyed Kerra Holt, whose one woman mission into Sith space centuries before the fall of the Jedi Order, had led to her youthful demise, shook her head in the disagreement. "If I may venture an opinion, no one is taking into account Jaina's feelings. We let go of our emotions, but she hasn't. It's true, she may turn to the darkness out of anger for wrongs she cannot undo, but…isn't better to simply tell her the truth and let her decide how to handle her future?"

Surik and Secura nodded; Kit Fisto and Adi Gallia looked merely dubious. Jocasta waited for Yoda to speak, but he was silent. Encouraged by the support, Knight Holt continued, stepping forward. "She has shown courage to stay among the enemy. Jaina knows how to play Kylo Ren without giving up her principles. Once, I too, pretended to become a Sith apprentice to blend in among the Sith Lords. Jaina will not give into the dark side."

Jocasta noted the slight passing resemblance the dark-haired Knight had to the girl, beyond them; she glimpsed the slender form of a male swathed in white. The young man's smooth chin and melancholic look set him apart from the other more familiar Jedi. Through it all, he had not spoken a word, solemnly watching them from a distance.

"Come too far we have to falter." When the tiny Grand Master spoke, the others stopped speaking amongst themselves and looked to him. Yoda was not the legend Knight Revan was nor the Hero of Tython; Jocasta quieted her own concerns in light of his wisdom. "Know what will happen and also accept that in the past, mistaken we were. Light can come from darkness and no one is beyond redemption." Skywalker met his gaze, sighing; Kenobi smiled sadly.

"You're saying that it's possible to…redeem Kylo Ren?" The young woman who was scarcely past her nineteenth year, manifested with a slight waver to her form, her hair was past her shoulders, pulled back from her face. Rey had lost the vicious hard edge to her brown eyes. She had become one with the Force and joined them only once before when they had gathered to lay out the groundwork for Jaina's training.

"Ben Solo _and_ Saskia." The voice that corrected her was soft, youthful. She could barely hold her form, this youngling girl with long braided hair. Jocasta watched the girl in padawan robes detach from the luminescence, facing Rey. "They can be brought back from the darkness. I believe in them as we should all believe in the light." Small Zahara Trace looked at them in turn, her belief unwavering.

"One day…what will feel like the blink of an eye to us, Jaina will let go of her mortal life and be here with us." Nomi Sunrider with her russet brown hair and Grand Master attire from another age stood beside her daughter and redeemed Knight Qel-Droma. "And we will watch over the new generation as we have always done. Let us not fight amongst ourselves, comrades. The Force is with her." _She may fail and falter every step of the way, but she'll become who she was meant to be_.

…

"The original Ravager was a Super Star Destroyer that was destroyed by New Republic forces above Jakku." Duma said, glancing over the communique Captain Farady had sent out. "I remember this ship being in alignment with it, occasionally moving aside to allow the Ravager's cannons to fire on the besieging cruisers. That was before the Mega Star Dreadnought and behemoth Star Dreadnoughts became the war horses of the new era."

"Sir?"

"Never mind me. They're just an old man's memories. Did you need something?"

"I thought to ask you about this before I leave." She had carried the holotape in the pocket of her black jumpsuit. "Can you tell if there's anything on it?"

The commander looked it over. "So this is what was in…?"

"Just that." She had put the flimsiplast photo in one of BB-9e's slots. Everything that belonged to her, rolled along in the droid's hidden compartments. "Is there any device onboard that can read it?"

"Hmm, I believe this particular tape was produced by the security droid models. Some of them were outfitted with recording devices and produced holotapes that could be playable by them and on similar technology. This is Empire tech basically. The Tarkin was retrofitted years ago to come up to standard specifications."

"You said…a Kaytuueso model from the KX series, right?"

"That's correct."

 _"Kaytoo."_

"What is it?"

"It's nothing really." She turned over the holotape in her hands. Somehow the pieces were slowly falling into place.

"You must be excited to begin training with Lord Ren." The commander attempted to find a reassuring smile. Jaina covered the comm unit with her free hand, "not really. I have to watch my every move with him. Every time I'm around him, I have to keep my guard up." She glanced up and met his concerned gaze. "I can't let him read me, no matter what."

A few minutes later, her wrist comm pinged.

 _The shuttle's ready._

…

He was waiting for her in the vast training room onboard the Ravager. Jaina felt the curious glances of the officers, the near belligerent attitudes of the Stormtroopers who considered challenging her. Jaina ignored the brush of their thoughts, focusing on the Force surrounding Kylo Ren.

There was none of the reverence and admiration she felt for the Jedi Masters. She felt the starkness of his aura, an absolute will to destroy never create. Jaina paused on the threshold considering those thoughts. That was something she had never thought before. An Empire needed an Empress, children. What was she going to do or feel when he chose someone from a royal world for trade agreements or armaments - only one thing occurred to her. She pushed it away violently, refusing to consider it.

She knew she hadn't fully hidden her surface emotions, murderous thoughts, when she caught his bemused look.

"There are different ways of using the Force."

No preamble, straight to the point. She wasn't sure whether or not to stand and listen or actively question. "Force punch, injecting the Force into your legs for faster running or healing through the manipulation of light side energy." She said, "among other things." Those were the safest topics that didn't touch on anything she wasn't supposed to know. It stood to reason that the possibilities of Force manipulation were endless.

"Yes, also the method of using pain as a means of sustainment."

"Or the rejection of coarse physical sensations through Crucitorn." Jaina couldn't have explained it so easily, but she understood it as a means of detaching one's mind from the flesh in order to keep fighting indefinitely despite wounds. "That is a useful dark side ability."

"They're similar."

"No, they're not. One technique as described by you uses pain to feed physical strength. The other is a method of detaching one's mind away from - say a blaster wound or the loss of one's hand. It was known to the Banite Sith after the long line of Darth Bane's rule of two Sith Lords." He looked at her perhaps too closely. Jaina felt his scrutiny disturb the living Force around her.

"Why do you hate the Sith so much?"

"Because they were weak-minded fools who fell prey to their own lust for power. It was what destroyed them in the end."

"I don't believe that…Darth Sidious broke Bane's rule of two by converting Dooku into Darth Tyranus. Maul and Vader were his apprentices and it was their multiple failures that brought the Empire down."

She saw his eye twitch at the mention of the Dark Lord. "Darth Vader's failure was his sentimentality. If the father had killed the son, then the Empire never would've fallen. He made no other mistakes." Ren said through gritted teeth. Jaina saw the flash-fire in his eyes, holding her ground. She nearly added that a certain somebody wouldn't have been born as undoubtedly Vader would've murdered Leia as well.

"Alright, I don't particularly care. You'll continue on thinking whatever you're going to think and I'll give up trying to start a decent conversation that doesn't end in an argument. What am I here for?" She felt proud of herself for not giving into Ren's lead. She knew he was convinced of Vader's brilliance when tactical errors had devastated the Empire on numerous occasions. Trying to convince him of it was the same as punching a durasteel wall without the Force.

The eye twitch had returned. He made a concerted effort to calm down. "The technique I am going to show you is useful in a variety of situations. You will create a sphere of energy in which to wrap an energy bolt from a projectile weapon to reduce injury or to deflect."

"Sounds interesting. Why couldn't the saber be used in place of raw strength?"

It was a good question one that she saw him consider briefly.

"There may come a time when your light saber is out of reach or there isn't time. Instinct will always guide you."

She stepped back, conscious she had nearly overstepped her bounds. It was hard to find the right balance between curiosity and opinion. She couldn't broadcast too much caution as that would arouse immediate suspicion. Jaina searched her mind for something to hide behind. As random thoughts went through her head, her thoughts lit on Hux from the Finalizer. She had sensed his surface thoughts once, skimming the surface of his desire for her. Yes…that would do the trick.

She ran her gaze over his body, from the thick combat boots with straps and buckles to the loose trousers visible from the knee to his upper thighs. The edge of his long tunic came to the hip, parted up the center and held in place by a wide belt. She knew she was staring, drinking him in with a kind of physical hunger that she could never satisfy. She almost thought she was getting into it too much, feeling her own body reacting.

 _Down, girl_. With some difficulty, she returned to her previous train of thought.

Her first instinct was to always use the saber, use the Force second. Why? Jaina analyzed her fighting style to his while watching him contain the blaster bolts, shoving them back into the droids that fired them. Smoldering wreckage soon littered the floor; scarcely winded, he crushed the remaining droids with an impatient shuttering of his fist. Jaina understood the basic concept behind the ability, the same as Crucitorn. Yet the latter delved into the spiritual body, by tapping into mental strength rather than relying on the channeling of raw strength.

"Here goes nothing." She murmured, striding across the room.

"Don't rely on the saber."

She stopped abreast of him, facing the vents in the wall where the droids exited. "It's second nature to use a sword."

"The Force is second nature." Ren corrected, stepping back. Silence preceded the distant drone of droid servos. Jaina flexed her hands, stilling her thoughts, her mind seeking the balance between serenity and instinct. Her right hand twitched for the saber hilt, longing to draw the crimson blade. Her hand had grown accustomed to the familiar heft and weight of the slim cylinder of metal, the hum and heat of her swings.

The first droids appeared, resembling the small buzz droids that could tear ships apart. Her eyes slid across them, gauging their attack path. Three shots dispensed from the muzzle loaders, bright green bolts of energy that she tried to stop, then when she failed, dodged, snatching the hilt of the saber from her belt. The moment it was in her grasp, she felt it fly suddenly, ripped out of her hand by an invisible Force. Jaina winced when the bolt made contact with her shoulder, burning through her shirt to the skin. Irritated, she shot him a glare and made a shoving motion toward the droids, sending them crashing into one another.

Once their center of gravity was thrown off, she finished them off with a force-crush. Jaina couldn't deny how good it felt to watch their metal skeletons reduced to a metallic heap of scrap.

"Maybe it's my second nature to use a sword." She snapped, turning to face him. Jaina reached out with the Force, yanking the hilt from his gloved hand. Her fingers curled around the warm metal. Anything residual on the hilt, she wiped it clean without conscious thought. She didn't want to hear his thoughts, or know his excuses. Thumbing the switch, the beam sprung forward, responding to her surge of dark side energy.

"I want to try again."

Their eyes met; she let her resolve sing through the Force. Grudgingly approving, he nodded curtly, releasing the next round. Jaina readied her backhand stance, deflecting the first shots with the quick deflective slash, followed up by a saber spin. Her wrist protested with the sharp twists and turns. Jaina restrained her initial inclination to switch into Shii Cho. She needed Soresu's close quarters not slide into the easy wide strikes that parried anything that came at her. She was conscious of Ren at the edge of her vision, being watched by those eyes. There was always anger behind them, fear and need.

One shot got by her.

She felt her conscious body reacting to his stare. He was making her nervous. She felt the fabric singe on her hand, burned by the glancing blow. Jaina felt her skin smarting, consciously pushing away the physical sensation of pain. Blood dribbled from the edges of her palm spiraling down her wrist to her sleeve. She blinked as the second's glimpse drew a memory forth.

 _His blood on her gloved hand._

On the shuttle escaping from Starkiller Base.

 _I saw him capture the energy blast from the Wookiee's bowcaster._

Jaina lowered the saber blade and reached out, seizing the strands of the Force. The technique was neither light nor dark, she understood that now. The energy warped around her fingertips, wrapping tendrils around the bolts fired seconds before. Jaina felt them vibrate the air, pulsing toward their intended target. Inch by inch, she shifted them aside and twisted out of the way. The fifth blast she deflected with Form I. The blasts scattered against the scorched wall that bore the remnants of many such deflects from Ren.

"I did it." She understood now what Shaak Ti had meant. Unlearning her conceptions about technique and understanding of the Force allowed her to progress past her previous limitations. Jaina turned toward him, a grin splitting her lips.

…

She was smiling at him.

It was the kind of look that he had seen before. A look of mingled pride and excitement. There was such innocence and enthusiasm in her face - he wasn't certain how to react. Show condescending pleasure the way Snoke had - he said nothing and she finally looked away, embarrassed. Luke had been much the same, sparse in doling out praise. Luke had felt it encouraged arrogance, inflated confidence. Reminded of Luke, he felt his anger rise, striating the Force with streaks of red.

"If there's…no more today, I'm going now." She sufficed a little bow, deactivating her light saber. Jaina, who had been all smiles, left with a furrow in her brow. Her complacency had struck him as almost resigned. She was always ready to be happy, eager to prove herself. He was surprised she wasn't crippled by serious self-doubt. But, then her training as a pilot should've dealt with those unnecessary emotions. Yet she still felt them.

Kylo had seen the other look on her face, the look he had never received from anyone. She wanted him. She ached for him in a purely physical way that was somehow gratifying and wonderful at the same time. He glanced at the door she had exited through. _Distractions_. She was distracted by his presence, but not enough to fault her later performance. She learned quickly as well. Once something was explained to her or she figured it out, _the Force was there, ready to act on her will_. Then, there was also the silence surrounding him. Kylo had been able to focus on her without trouble, without constantly thinking of a hundred different irritations that drove him wild with fury. _There was...something...,_

….

 _Ag world_ …an agricultural world. She had heard the term before mentioned when it concerned the four-year food supply carried by the Star Destroyers, sufficient enough to feed thousands on basic rations. They were floating cities, self-sufficient unless severe damage occurred that required shipyard repairs. Jaina tried to recall the names of green worlds. "BB-9e, pull up a star chart of agricultural planets circa the age of the Empire." The droid produced her datapad from a large slot on its side. "No…earlier. Do those maps exist and who had control over them?" She listened to the beeping complaint. "It's not _impossible_." She knew the droid was waiting to test out its new translation program stolen from the Ravager's droid pool.

She couldn't concentrate on the ululating sounds produced by her throat at that moment. Jaina stood in the dimly lit room, studying the hilt in her hand. Her fingers fit it firmly without room for excessive sliding. She laid her thumb flat along the length, reminded of the heft of Ren's cross-guard hilt. That blade was heavy, unstable, sparking and growling from within the fractured crystal's chamber. The kyber crystal had once been blue in his light saber. A pale aqua hue reminiscent of the Skywalker legacy saber; Jocasta had said the Jade saber was a pale violet.

 _The Force is a tension…a balance…,_

Her hand opened up; the hilt floated, turning to rest sideways. Jaina slowly slid her fingers over the Haysian smelt wings and down to where the base encircled the crystal's chamber. She turned the tube and the metal gave way to reveal the glowing blood-red crystal within. Both halves of the saber hovered stationary. BB-9e had stopped chirping search results to watch her. She exhaled softly, sensing the tremor in the vibratory energies contained in the kyber's crystalline structure.

She extended her hand toward the pulsing crimson light, fingertips probing for the source of the anguish emanating in nebulous waves. Nothing happened for minutes then, she felt the air thicken. The kyber crystal keened in the _Force_ suddenly, a terrible wailing erupted from it and she started violently. A flash of violet light flared up - the room spun into a place of desecration and slaughter. Jaina lifted her eyes from it, aware that she wasn't alone. There were bodies surrounding her, shattered armor, blaster scorch marks in the walls. _So much death_. _So much chaos_. The room became a resolute figure who faced the ignited crimson blade. She saw grass and trees. A young man with weariness to his shoulders wielded a green saber and his opponent - older, yet potent in the dark side, wielded the mockery of a dead Order. The symbol of the Jedi clove the air, its vibrant vicious hue sang with sorrow in Jade's hand. Screaming against Skywalker's Jedi blade the longer they dueled beneath the light of twin suns-

She started to see it.

Beyond them - what she had reached for.

The moment the crystal bled-

The tremor in the Force displaced her concentration. Jaina snapped back to the present, Jade and Skywalker's duel receding into scattered energy. _I was projecting without consciously…,_ she gestured with her fingertips, fusing the two halves together again. She tried to calm her rampant emotional state down before turning to face him.

"Master Kenobi. I…I wasn't planning on live combat tonight." She wasn't entirely certain how to feel about her first lesson with Ren. She had been able to mimic him once but probably not again or at least not without practicing the technique. It was useful, she had admitted silently, but she preferred the saber and knowledge of _crucitorn_.

The hilt came to rest in her hand.

 _I thought I would find answers_ ; she succeeded in calming her force signature. Inside, conflict dwelled, _but I saw nothing that disapproves or proves my suspicions_. "I'm tired." She injected a slight plea into her tone, turning to stride for the doors.

"You should meditate and release your agitation."

She stilled, her hand shook slightly around the hilt. "What is an ag world?"

"An agriworld or _agricultural world_ primarily cultivated to ship food across the galaxy. But, that wasn't your question."

"Who was sent there from the Jedi Order?"

"Younglings who had failed the test to become apprenticed to a Master. Some who were never chosen by Masters could be sent offworld. There were some who were taken from their families and chose to leave in later years for one reason or another." Obi-Wan regarded her calmly. Jaina turned around, unable to quite find the words.

"Come, you have contention in your heart. That isn't necessarily a terrible thing if you transform it into a weapon."

 _I can't - I just don't want to - not tonight._ She wanted to refuse, to go away from there and crawl into bed. She wanted to pull the covers over her head like a little girl and get some sleep. Jaina didn't want to think of terrible things, she didn't want to relive Skywalker's duel and see Loress's terrible ravaged face. Worst of all, she didn't want to think of her growing power, or of Kylo's strength in the dark side that would ultimately corrupt his body and soul. It was already eating away at his mind, leaving only madness in those haunted eyes.

But, she didn't say a word.

As if she had sparred a hundred times - a lifetime, she returned to the center of the room, legs spread, the saber hilt downward. The blade sprung forward and she saluted, drawing an x-shaped scar through the air. There was no formal bowing, no ritualistic tradition to follow. Obi-Wan faced her with the hilt of his blue saber downward in the slightly angled drop stance; an alternate of Soresu's opening form.

" _You don't have to be afraid of yourself."_

She swept into the strike, her back and forth pace measured, precise. The two sabers struck, sparking as he pulled off a Shii Cho slash. Jaina countered, her left hand resting curled against the small of her back. Obi-Wan narrowly disarmed her with a saber lock. She spun up and away, riposting with a counterslash that he parried aside. They continued trading blows, the sabers sparking and flashing each time contact was made. She sensed his weakness, his lack of true offense. Some of his moves were a lesser form of kinetic art - Ataru and Soresu for defense, Shii Cho for balance. The blending of the three combat forms were rendered weak against her leverage and precision. Jaina defended against being disarmed, breaking his circular slash. She spun out of range - thinking of nothing, not the vibrating hum of her blade, or her footwork which fell into a rhythmic pace. She wasn't thinking of Kylo Ren aboard the Star Dreadnought, so far away or the crystal that cried out through the _Force_.

 _Through power I gain victory._

She saw the opening between his bladework, sensing the stirring of destructive energy and dissonance. Slipping forward, she stabbed inches from his face, the blue tint enveloping his form brushed against her living force signature, life and death existing in the balance.

It was a draw.

"No one will ever duel like this again." She said, expressionless; Obi-Wan looked fleetingly surprised, then relaxed as she stepped back, deactivating the saber. "There are no living Masters, no Jedi, no Sith to fight against. There are only the Knights of Ren and Kylo himself. They are but shades compared to true mastery of technique."

"That is arrogance to believe like that."

"No, it is the way of Makashi. You were _the Master_ of a classic form in your lifetime, but you held back from releasing the kinetic flow needed to overpower a duelist versed in advantage."

"For you, that is as simple as breathing." Obi-Wan remarked. "Do you think that is enough to win against Ben Solo?"

"I-I don't know." She didn't want to betray her previous thoughts. All those long years ahead, becoming a Jedi Knight, training students, somewhere at the end of it lay a duel between them. It was fated, inescapable. He wouldn't allow the Jedi Order to return, not while he lived. "He isn't Ben Solo anymore. He is Kylo Ren." Somehow that saddened her more to say it aloud.

"Do you believe he is gone?" Kenobi regarded her seriously.

 _Did she?_ "I…can't say. The person I know is Kylo Ren. I didn't know Ben Solo, the boy he was, the Jedi he never became. I know that I want to help him." _I like all the bad and terrible parts of him without ever knowing the good_. "But, I don't know if I'll ever be able to defeat him."

…

Kylo awoke with a start. He had collapsed at an angle, draped across the bed. He was cold, conscious of the discomfort lying against his face. The console unit beeped with an incoming call. Sitting up, he rubbed at his rough cheek, sandpapered with a slight shadow of facial hair. Finally, irritated with the sound, he gestured impatiently, the speaker came on.

"Supreme Leader, we've received a response. Over half the fleet has reported minor problems in their sectors. The Captains and Commanders are not coming in person. However, Commander Duma was the first to arrive. Captain Radford has reported his leave-taking ten Terramarian hours ago." Farady announced crisply.

"How many are coming?"

"Five."

Three Captains and two Commanders. Radford and Amaral were attached at the hip when it concerned military functions. One wouldn't go without the other. Serotte was recently promoted for distinguished service.

"Myself and Captain Peavey will be present."

Kylo snorted, slumping forward. His hands looked pale in the diffuse light. Farady and Peavey had no choice. They were aboard ship. Captain Yago from the Supremacy, whose posting was decimated, stayed with another Battlecruiser that was supposedly having difficulties with the native peoples…

"They'll be beaming in through holocall." Farady added, hesitating. "Is there any other response you wish for me to send them?"

 _No._

They had given him their response with a brusque dismissal. Snoke never met them in person. Yet to prove his difference, he had offered to host them on his ship.

"Is that a no?" Farady prompted.

"Have there been any arrivals?"

"No." The electronic sound of monitors and keys hummed through the background. "Ah, I misspoke. Other than Commander Duma and his requisite crew, that woman - Ionone, arrived with them."

Ah, yes. He could feel her through his senses. He hadn't been mistaken. The hollow rime of voices dwelling in the coldness of his aura, lessened to a soft murmur. There was nothing but the sound of his own thoughts, his own solitary breaths and the static crackle of Farady's communicator.

Kylo had noticed the difference once. The silence of his surroundings had pressed against his eardrums while she was onboard. The quiet had grown in intensity during the brief time they were in the training hall together. The swarm of furies…calmed, somehow fading until he felt in control of his faculties, his senses no longer reacting in blind rage.

 _How was it possible? Was she projecting it to affect him - but, no_. _Was it the balance in her force affecting the environment?_ "Where is she?"

"Shall I send her a comm to meet you at your location?"

He almost thought Farady was toeing the line of sarcasm. Kylo was certain she would've jumped at the chance to see the inside of his room. It hadn't escaped him that she had followed him around on the Finalizer. "She is an apprentice, Captain Farady, nothing else."

"What're you talking about?" The man sounded annoyed. "She's in the cafeteria with General Hux. If you don't need anything else, I'll be on the bridge."

…

The officers' lounge was almost empty when she received a cup of caf from the protocol droid. A mild headache pulsed beneath her temples, she moved sluggishly to one of the long tables, sinking gratefully into the padded chair bottom. BB-9e rolled to the end of the table, pausing beneath the edge.

She hadn't heard anyone approach.

"I haven't seen you for a while."

The voice caused her to start, hastily saluting. "Sir! Sorry, I didn't see you."

Hux had left off his heavy great coat, beneath which he wore a hip-length tunic and trousers tucked into polished boots. She noticed the thin layer of cat fur on the sleeves, restraining a smile.

"How is Millicent?"

"She's happier now with cat-toys courtesy of Captain Farady. He couldn't stand her yowling at the door to be let out."

"I don't know why they don't let her have run of the Dreadnought." She commented. "Millicent's a lovely cat."

"I believe the Captain has pet allergies." Hux smirked; the protocol droid shuffled over with a fresh cup of caf.

"Oh…," she subsided into silence, taking a sip of her lukewarm drink. "How is the work on the flight school progressing?"

"Everything is fine, the work's almost finished in fact. All around the major cities, posters are being up for recruitment."

"Your father…he was Commandant of the flight school, wasn't he?"

The general stiffened at the mention of his late father. "Yes, he was. I was born there on Arkanis. Reopening the school there was…difficult."

"I can imagine. I never had bad memories of Chandrila, but my father and grandfather, ah, on my mother's side, he was an Inquisitor and so I gather had something of a nasty reputation."

"That's the first time you've ever mentioned him." Hux leaned forward slightly, green eyes intent on her. "Do you have many memories of him?"

"No…well, it's strange. I do remember him. He was an old man already when I was born. The dark side had corrupted him much the same way it had Supreme Leader Snoke." _Loress Jade, the name manifested the red ornate robes, the silver mask and head-covering from her memory_. "My mother spoke of him as a monster and maybe he was. Sometimes, you can't help who you're related to. Some people forget that you aren't responsible for what someone else said or did."

"You said Inquisitor…they were…"

"They hunted down the hidden Jedi and sought Force sensitive children for the Emperor's use." She thought of Soramar, discomforted.

"All this talk of the Force and I never understood what was so important about it."

She reflected this was the longest conversation she'd had with the general. "The Force is inside every living thing, it is a tension or a kind of balance that keeps everything together."

"I'm afraid you lost me there. I don't believe in something I can't see." He smiled ruefully.

Jaina frowned a little, extending her hand across the table. "Give me your hand."

Hux hesitated, dropping his gaze down to the palm offered. "I don't…,"

"Do you trust me?"

"Jaina, that's neither here nor there." He started to pull off his glove. "You're serious."

She motioned with her fingertips. The general laid his hand in hers, surprised at the coolness of her skin. "Close your eyes." She had closed hers, subsiding into a faint smile.

When he felt something, he almost pulled away. _The Force had made him wary. He expected it to be directed in malevolence_ , but it began slow like a breath that reverberated throughout his body. It was her breath, soft like a whisper. He could almost visualize images; the light of a distant star, the green of a lush planet, the harsh desert of a dying world. The Star Destroyer and its TIE fighters circling it. He could see them sitting at the table, hands joined. The droid sat at her feet silently. The droid was a hole in the Force, nothing alive in it except for circuits and wires.

"You don't have to fear it."

"I don't." Hux sounded petulant, whining even to his own ears. He could feel something within her, the same gentle pulse inside her body. A new thought occurred to him, something he had never considered until he became aware of its existence.

 _What was it like to look at her through his own senses…that gentle light like a flame illuminating immeasurable darkness?_

 _Was this what Ren saw when he looked at her?_

Jaina released his hand, relaxing. The moment their hands disconnected, the feeling was gone.

"I've never felt anything like that."

…

Nothing was as perfect as Farady wanted them to believe. Five minutes of conversation with Edrison Peavey had led him to realize the ship was a hotbed of dissent. No one knew whether or not to follow General Hux or Captain Farady. The latter whose temperament had earned him several unpleasant sobriquets mostly involving martinet, demanded absolute obedience. Peavey who ranked equal with Farady, kept his trap shut most of the time.

General Hux, who was used to holding the flag of leadership above Captain class officers, recognized a competent adversary who he couldn't easily supplant with the more pliable Peavey.

Farady wouldn't lessen his influence an inch.

"Lord Ren prefers to poke and prod at Hux so he allows Farady to get away with insubordination." Peavey breathed, they had walked several hallways where he knew there were no audio recorders or cameras.

"That seems to be the extent of his willingness to intercede in their conflict. How is Captain Yago faring?"

"Oh, he is just fine. He isn't coming and neither is eighty percent of the fleet commanders. Young Radford and Amaral are on their way so thank goodness for that. Radford hasn't much to do these days, but his blood is what's needed - ah, Maker rest Sloane's soul."

"I didn't think you were religious, Edrison." Gaius commented mildly amused. _So the old rumors hadn't been laid to rest_ , he thought. _Dyen Radford and Rae Sloane were said to have been more than close comrades during the years of Imperial service._ He was never sure where those rumors started up from since no one had ever seen Sloane pregnant. Privately, he had always thought V'lane's mother had been some dancer or cantina singer on Gatalenta. _Still, sometimes it didn't hurt to perpetuate the old myth or two._

"I don't believe in the Force or anything, but with times like these…,"

Peavey fell silent, blanching suddenly. Duma sensed the malevolent cloud hovering at the perimeter of his vision. He turned and gave a full salute, a generous smile wreathing his face. "Supreme Leader! It is good to see you well."

Kylo had come upon the two old men gossiping in one of the deserted corridors of the ship. He had slowed with them in sight. They were relics of another age, young when the Empire existed. He looked at them indifferently. They were useless, neither having accumulated glory nor power.

Probing lightly, he skimmed Peavey's surface thoughts.

The man was afraid he had said something wrong. He had taken verbal cues from years of Imperial service, perfecting his unimpeachable bearing. The other was calm, not attempting to hide anything. He had the natural composure of a leader. Gaius knew he could never hide his true thoughts from a force user so he didn't even try.

But, there was something.

There was pity behind the old man's look.

He already knew Kylo had different ideas concerning the galaxy. But, he knew as well that the First Order had slaughtered any ideals of peace with the destruction of the Hosnian System.

 _I don't need your pity_ , old man. Kylo barely acknowledged them, sweeping past the commander and Captain. He needed nothing but subservience, power and the will to carry on and complete Vader's legacy.

 _Ben Solo is still that child hiding behind a mask._

The thought drifted from only one man.

…

BB-9e trailed after her, questioning in binary.

"How? It's impossible to show a non-Force sensitive what it's like to connect to others. I broadcast my own feelings and through them he knew the _Force_." She slowed, her thoughts becoming a jumbled mass of confusion. There had been something else in Hux's memories. It had been a gamble to see if he would open his mind up to her without resorting to mental torture. She had wanted to see his memories on Niruan.

The droid rolled after her quick pace. "I saw something else in his head. He was looking at orders that were going down through the chain of command. He was thinking about how it used to be when Snoke was alive." BB-9e nearly collided into another BB unit rolling the opposite way. The red-eyed droid beeped something mechanical and rude sounding after them. Jaina scarcely acknowledged them. "He was thinking of the _Mission to Bilbringi_."

BB-9e trilled quietly.

"That was the mission where the entire squadron except for myself was lost." _The only one I can ask is Commander Duma. He'll tell me the truth._ She passed several corridors before realizing she needed to backtrack to reach the turbolift that would take her back to the level where the training hall was located. Somehow, she got off on the wrong floor.

"Is now not a good time?"

"No, it's fine. Appearances are everything among the top brass. This is Farady's time to impress the others." He had answered promptly from his wrist comm. "Fortunately, I don't rank high enough for the Captain himself to greet me. Edrison and I were just catching up. He was your former Captain of the Finalizer in case you weren't aware of the name."

"I-I see." Jaina peered through the glass partition overlooking the southern quadrant of the Star Dreadnought's hangar. "I wanted to ask you about the Bilbringi Sector. What was there before?"

"What do you mean? Before…oh, well, it was the site of the Battle of Bilbringi where Grand Admiral Thrawn lost his life. He was betrayed by a bodyguard and slain on the eve of the battle against fledgling First Order forces. The garrison there in control of the shipyards surrendered and was placed under the auspices of the First Order. Many of our later repairs came from that sector. Why? What brought up your interest in ancient history?" He was undoubtedly smiling wherever he was.

 _Two years ago…_

"Two years ago," she said, faltering. "I was part of a mission sent to that sector." _We were told it was Resistance scum entrenched in the planet_. _There were seven of us in the squadron. They were the strongest in the TIE Wing. I barely escaped with my life_. "I was the only survivor."

"Jaina…you must understand, many lives have been sacrificed for the greater good. You wouldn't be here in this moment if you hadn't had something inside you, protecting you."

"You're saying the _Force_ kept me alive." Her left hand balled into a fist at her side. "That there is a reason for all of _this_." She could see their faces, their numerical designations. She could see them around her, etched indelibly into her memory. "Were we sent out there to die?"

BB-9e's audio sensors sensed an unusual thing. A slight cracking sound faint at first. The blue photoreceptor eye swiveled around searching for the source, and then gradually located it. A fine hairline crack spread through the bottom half of the glass plating.

" _That_ …is beyond my personal knowledge."

…

On the bridge, Captain Farady observed the destruction in the training hall. One of the monitors from the bridge pit spoke up. "Sir, Captain Serotte of the Tormentor is within four parsecs of arrival. Commander Karajan of the Indomitable has reported his leave-taking."

 _So they're on their way and look at the mess our Supreme Leader is in_ , Farady thought, sighing. "Send a message to General Hux, request his presence in the hangar the moment Captain Serotte arrives."

"Yes, sir! And, sir, shall we apprise Supreme Leader Ren?"

"Redirect it to his room. He'll retire there eventually once he's spent his rage." Farady glanced as one of the officers climbed up the steps opposite from the left bridge pit. "Ah, scratch that. Macias, inform the Supreme Leader, that Captain Serotte and Commander Karajan will be here presently."

"M-Me, sir?" The man in question lugged an overflowing black trash can from between the monitor stations. _Clearly someone on the wraithwatch had been remiss in their trash collecting duties._

"Well, why not? It's not like you're doing anything important." Farady looked around and located his favorite datapad behind the radar monitor. Dopheld Mitaka's brows lifted as he kept a low profile among Farady's other monitors. He remembered a time all too well when he had been sent to alert Kylo Ren to the failed capture of the BB unit on Jakku, the end of that particular mission had been a force-choke and a note to himself to always look busy and occupied whenever a suicidal mission regarding Ren came up.

…

"I don't understand."

She had said as much in as many minutes.

"What don't you understand?" The reply had the hint of a bite. The edge that his patience was close to being at an end. Figures, she thought. It was all well and good if she caught on quick, but finding the balance between pleasing Kylo and understanding his unorthodox teaching methods was nigh impossible. He had no patience. Communicating by curt gestures and cold silences were the extent of his communication skills on this particular day.

He was angry about something.

The first time she had asked what it was, he had brushed her off with a sneering look that implied whatever had made him angry was none of her concern. Well, it probably wasn't anyway. So she had dropped the subject not wanting to add to his fury. _He's more likely to take it out on me_ , she thought. She was his preferred target, a living, breathing target that wasn't silent to his abuse.

"Oh, I don't know. Let's start with you're not clear on what you want me to do." She deactivated the light saber, returning the hilt to her belt. "You stand there and gesture for me to do something without telling me exactly what you want. It's not like I can read your mind." She had started to turn away, hesitation stilling her. Jaina faced the empty stretch of the room. She had deliberately cut herself off of Kylo's thoughts. The room - the ship should've been full of his angry thoughts and feelings.

He was projecting something, she realized, hand sliding around the hilt of the saber.

False intent.

She didn't see one thing.

She saw everything.

Jaina spun around, igniting the blade.

…

So this was the extent of her ability.

He had thought she had reached the limits of it. Striding away, her back turned to him. She was complaining he wasn't being clear when he had in his mind, the image of what he wanted her to do. She wasn't able to read him without touching him. Contact pointed to that from when he had watched her with his mother.

Force consciousness.

Soramar had described it similarly.

It was interesting, but ultimately useless.

He started moving, running toward her with the glide of a Force run. His light saber ignited seconds after gaining momentum, buzzed to life, the beam sprung forward, spitting and growling, the shunts sparked to life a second after. But, Jaina was already turning, her own saber lit to block his attack.

She had surprised him yet again.

The blades crossed. Kylo's wild swing blocked by her downward angled blade. The hilt turned a little as she broke off with her deflective shove. Jaina followed it up with a midair twist, countering his next strike shoulder-level to her. The collision sent a tremor through her wrists. Instead of the single-minded fury he had seen in Rey from the forest, there was an unrestrained feeling to her movements yet an underlying sense of calmness pervaded the Force inside her.

The fleeting thought arrested him, like a Jedi.

The saber wheeled around in her grip, the flash of searing heat splashing his face. Sweat broke out immediately on his brow. He tried to force her into a saber lock, attempting to catch the backs of her fingers. That was the Makashi grip, the thumbs lying flat along the hilt. It was loose enough to not hinder movement, but strong enough to maintain her grip.

 _What was she going to do next?_

He wanted to watch her footwork.

 _What was her step sequence?_

It wasn't the back and forth flow of Makashi yet her balletic spin was reminiscent of the dueling form. Their sabers clashed low. Her spin had put her at a disadvantage or so he had thought. Jaina parry-riposted without breaking stride. Kylo felt his blood rising. He hadn't had a thought of physical combat until he had thought to test her ability. Even then, he hadn't meant to carry it so far. Surprise her. Maybe let her go with another scar or at best, disarm her; it was hard to let go with just that. His instincts were screaming at him. He wanted more.

…

She was out of ideas.

This was bad.

Kylo wasn't letting her go so easily. If his aggression had levels, she would've thought it was past boiling point. The Force she felt around him was beyond hunger. It was the lust to deform, to destroy. It was frightening in its intensity. He was scaring BB-9e, who couldn't sense the Force, but could see his malevolent intent.

He wasn't going to be satisfied with a few demonstrations of her shoddy Form V footwork. Saskia didn't know what she was doing. He didn't know how to teach anyone. They only knew how to harm, how to hurt. Jaina evaded him, feeling the air smelt from the glide of his light saber. The sparks flew grazing her thigh. She blinked, scarcely acknowledging the smarting sensation through the cloth.

She needed to end it now.

Pivoting on her heels, she feinted a high strike only to drop and catch the saber hilt for a mid-level sweep. Kylo had thought to block her with a sideways twist - he had seconds to react. Not this time, she thought and spun the blade in a disarming flourish. The hilt flew from his hands, ripped out of them by the violence of her movement.

Without hesitation, she stabbed the air above his left shoulder. His hand had thrust out, probing for the light saber. His eyes were wild, darting from her face to the one-handed grip she maintained.

"Makashi!" He spat almost disgusted.

She had switched into the duelist's form to protect against being disarmed herself. "Wrong." Her dominant foot trailed behind, her stance was bent forward in a hybrid of Shii Cho.

It was both.

Who knew the earliest forms of light saber combat could be combined? She swung the blade in a controlled arc, the edge slicing where his hand had been. The waver of the _Force_ from his attempted summon had met resistance against the saber blade. She cut through it, redacting the tip to rest above his heart, one hand tucked behind her back.

She saw the slightest twitch of his cheek, a nervous tic whenever he was emotional. Reluctantly, he straightened, hands slightly curled into fists at his sides. Jaina lifted the blade upward, flicking the switch. The red beam vanished and the silence rested heavily against her ears.

"You've improved."

"You're good yourself."

He accepted the compliment without comment. She could almost imagine his thought process without probing his thoughts. He was going through the fight, analyzing her moves, likely his own trying to see where he had erred and shown weakness allowing her to gain the upper hand. Well, he didn't need her around to do that. She started to walk away, hesitating only when she sensed him turn slightly. It was less than a motion, more of a sense. It was the _Force_ telling her. Was he still a threat? No. He was calmer than before, but curious.

"You're staying onboard?"

"No. I'm staying on the commander's shuttle. Captain Farady offered the crew below sub-par accommodations. I gather the standard quarters for the TIE Wing include those above bilge. I would've gone on a suicide run if I'd been posted here." She rolled her eyes; BB-9e rolled out from behind a column after her. "If you want to continue - you know where to find me."

…

C-3PO had been left to his own devices. "Goodness, gracious me." He had been hard pressed to find something to occupy his time. For sure there was activating his droid spy network, making himself useful to their new benefactor. He somehow doubted Fel required the services of an old protocol droid when he had a fleet of BB units with their own individual personalities. They still had the nasty propensity to shock unsuspecting people who included the former Stormtrooper, FN-2187.

If C-3PO had been honest with his circuits, he missed Princess Leia. She had refused accompaniment - no human, alien, or droid was to go with her to meet Kylo Ren.

"It's been seven months." Threepio muttered to himself, shuffling down the corridor. He was a common enough sight on the walkway, occasionally passed by officers in olive green military dress. The color of their uniforms hadn't changed in the days since Grand Admiral Thrawn had separated the fleet from the fledgling First Order. "Oh, I do hope the princess is okay." The droid's mumble ceased, laying eyes on the man leaning against the railing.

Luke was aware of the golden protocol droid. His thoughts drifted as they so often did down the pathways of memory. His tired old legend, old bones had been rehashed so many times he felt sick whenever he heard it. He hadn't wanted to be a hero in the end. He had wanted peace and his father back. He wanted Leia and Han to be happy and for his friends to stop dying. He was no Master, he was no one.

 _"I was never a father."_

 _Not to anyone._

 _That was only half the truth._

 _I didn't know how to be one._

"Master Skywalker! Do you think the princess - ah, General Organa is alright?" Skywalker had aged since the last time the droid had seen him. He was no longer the young boy from Tatooine whose uncle had purchased them from the Jawas. "Ben Solo was a brute of a boy! He was so mean to the little one -oh! Beg your pardon." The man's blue-eyed gaze drifted toward him, the sullen line of Luke's mouth was unrelenting. "Oh, dear." The droid worried his bionic hands. "I'm sorry, Master Luke. It has been a long time." R2-D2 rolled up behind them, beeping a stream of whistles and bleeps.

Threepio took offense. "Of course I know it was tactless! Be quiet, you! Master Luke doesn't want to remember!"

The man looked between them, the artificial life forms who had changed his world once. Luke shut his eyes, praying for patience. The protocol droid's tactlessness got him yelled at by Dameron occasionally. The only one who had boundless patience for the golden protocol droid was Leia. "At ease, Threepio. I can't reach Leia without alerting him to my presence." Luke flexed his mechanical hand, the fingers tightening through the glove. "I can feel her in the Force, so I know he hasn't killed her."

…

"We'll be the last ones in the accompaniment." Lieutenant Reece Miura said. He was a small man with a slight yellow tint to his skin. His round face and brown almond-shaped eyes were distinctive among the Dauntless officers. He was a survivor of Hays Minor, who vaguely remembered the cold mining planet. Sometimes he found himself tracing the constellations, trying to find a pattern representing Otomok.

Captain Radford stepped inside the cockpit, lips thinning in displeasure. They had spent a day traveling through hyperspace from the far away Terramaire Sector. The moment they had left light speed, they were swarmed by TIE fighters. He had watched from the window in the lounge, wondering at the show of force. Was this General Hux or a direct result of Kylo Ren's paranoia? The implications were worrying. He felt a nervous itch beneath the pristine high collar of his neatly pressed suit jacket.

"Close to the last." He said after catching the tail end of Miura's sentence, noticing the elegant shape of a Naboo shuttle exiting hyperspace. Amaral had always claimed the shuttle belonged to a former queen of the royal planet, although what scrap heap he had found it in, V'lane never knew. The TIE fighter swarm flew off, brutishly circling Amaral's shuttle; he could already imagine the Dandorian's rant.

"Everyone else is accounted for, sir." Miura said, glancing to the datapad displaying arrivals. "Commander Karajan and Commander Duma are present along with Captain Serotte. The rest are beaming in through holocall later according to Captain Farady's manifesto."

"Hmm, Karajan is the commander of the Battlecruiser Indomitable. Duma's from the Tarkin…a stand in for the former Captain who was killed during the Battle of Jakku. All these years, he's never received the rank of Captain despite being in overall command of the Star Destroyer." Maybe there was such a thing as favoritism.

"Sir?"

"No, it's nothing really. Duma is the last man in the galaxy that would ever break his honor. He will support Kylo Ren no matter how harshly his own beliefs diverge from our new Supreme Leader. Ironically," V'lane said, "He should be in command of the Ravager, better than that coward, Farady."

Miura looked confused. "Why?"

"Farady will jump to save his own hide. Fortunately, Kylo doesn't know what he has until it's gone."

"Sir, are you going to be alright in there?"

"Of course. Kylo is blind to everything except his own anger. He is one man, one man bound by his fear and anger at the world." Both men fell silent as the pilot received a transmission from the Dreadnought. The air tower sent a docking station number to their flight computer for them to begin their final approach. Radford felt his inner self tremble. He couldn't suppress the shudder invoked by the harsh slice of open space delineating into the energy shield layer allowing ships to pass. TIE fighters were out in force, flying in defensive formation over the massive wedge-shaped Dreadnought.

"Into Hell we go." He murmured more to himself, twisting the brim of his black hat in his gloved hands. The slight remnant of panic from his boyhood remained. He couldn't stop himself from remembering the cavernous hull of the Supremacy and the nightmares that came with it.

…

V'lane Radford was the last Captain-class officer to arrive. He stood a head or so shorter than Hux, his confidence and good breeding evident in his accented speech. He was friendly, but reserved among the retinue who lingered. Captain Peavey greeted him as the _Golden Boy_ _of the First Order_.

"Oh, I keep my head above water." Radford's blithe response was at odds with his darting glances. Kylo was aware of him from the fringe of the group. By all rights, he should've been the center, the gravity drawing the elite military officers. He was aware of his deficiency in social customs. Farady played host, subverting General Hux's place. Farady was still the Captain of the Dreadnought, the second promoted after the Fulminatrix. Kylo's gaze returned to the youngest in the throng. The smallest accent of red marked his left breast pocket. "Shall we adjourn, gentlemen?"

The man was deferential, polite and behind his faint attentive smile, there was the usual greed, the hunger for glory. _Admiral Radford had a nice ring to it; better Grand Admiral Radford like dear mum_ , thought the man. The greed didn't extend to his gaze. The shine, the lust for distinction wasn't present in the light brown eyes. He saw hardness in the glance, calculation. The Gatalentian native had the look of a bilge rat absorbing its surroundings.

Radford's social graces permitted him to move freely. He greeted Amaral like an old friend, his roving eye attracted to something across the hangar.

"I say! Who is that?" He nudged Amaral, who sent him a chiding look.

"Looks like one of the TIE pilots." Amaral finally looked when Radford wouldn't let up.

"She's beautiful."

"Ever on the prowl." The latter's comment held smothered laughter.

"So much security!" He commented mock-surprised to Amaral, yet his glances kept straying to TN-1063. The Dandorian shrugged, tugging on his gloves. The former scavenger flaunted luxury, but lacked the ease which Radford carried himself. "Come on or we'll be left behind."

…

 _She's beautiful._

The words disturbed his thoughts. The offhand comment by Captain Radford in his presence wasn't something he immediately associated with anyone or anything. The few who has chosen to come in person moved through the main hangar, greeting compatriots, old cronies.

Farady had outdone himself. The interior shone, the black flooring reflected their shadowed forms. Boot heels clicked in unison as the Stormtroopers offered a minor salute in passing. Radford was distracted, measuring the shape of the prototype TIE Silencer docked above.

"Is something concerning you, Captain Radford?" Ren's voice alone should've snapped the man to attention. Radford flashed a disarming smile, "Ah, Supreme Leader. I wasn't aware the Silencer model was available from the Kuat shipyards. It really is a beauty."

"Yes. I've flown it before. It is one of a kind."

"Oh, that's right. You're terribly good in the cockpit as well. Piloting skills come in handy every once in a while. Are you good with a blaster?" Radford began walking with him, entirely at ease. "I have this model from my late mother." The blaster pistol was attached to his hip. Kylo had heard of the rumors concerning Radford's parentage, although he gave them little credence. The Captain walked in an uneven line, angling closer to the holocall terminal. He had diverged enough from the main group that Farady looked around, then away noticing him.

Radford tipped his hat to the former pilot with a quick flash of a warm smile. Jaina smiled embarrassedly in return. She barely glanced at Kylo, managing a slight nod after the droid bumped her leg in reminder.

"I've checked out on the weapon before." Kylo answered shortly. Amaral half-turned from the group ahead to see where Radford had gone. The Dandorian paled a shade lighter than the snowy white glimpse of his high-collared dress shirt visible beneath the confining jacket. Amaral turned quickly, stepping after Karajan. The main group entered the turbolift at the end of the hall, leaving them to ride up together.

"Why aren't you afraid?"

"Why should I be?" Radford checked his wrist comm, cycling through a holograph of messages between his shuttle and the Dauntless; a common habit of a dedicated leader. "I'm perfectly safe aboard this ship. You and Captain Farady have seen to it."

"You know what I can do."

"Yes, yes. I've had Lady Ren stationed for four years. I'm quite aware of Force users unlike the masses." His smile had a patronizing tint to it, a dash of careless cheek. The smile dropped meeting Kylo's hard gaze. "You can't do anything to me. I've done nothing wrong."

"I never said you had."

The doors slid open; both men stepped inside.

"Then, what were you implying, Supreme Leader? You can't touch me. This is not Palpatine's Empire. Every important Star Destroyer Captain on this ship knows I got on this turbolift with you. What do you think would happen if you snapped my neck?"

Kylo remembered Soramar as the Force twisted his head around. That was a pleasant image thinking of the Star Destroyer Captain in the knight's place. Or that handsome face contorted in horror and fright as he force-choked him to death.

"If you…Force-choked me?" V'lane Radford folded his arms respectfully over his breast. "This is the First Order, my Lord. You are only in power so long as the military supports you." So long as the military is afraid of you.

"Is that a threat?"

Radford's complacent smile returned as the lift glided to a stop. "No, only a friendly warning."

…

Things were much simpler back then.

Leia watched the transit of stars. She could lower the reinforced plating, expanding the view of the galaxy. She supposed her apartment was somewhere above the main levels of the starship. She thought of Chandrila for some reason. The blue of her gown reminded her of water. The distant hum of a fighter flying low reminded her of yachts on the calm surface of a lake. She remembered being a young wife and mother in the aftermath of the Empire. She was busy trying to put together a semblance of acceptance that the war was finally over.

She didn't have to keep running or hiding. In the deepest hour of night, she didn't have to feel the terrible sadness from losing Alderaan, not when they were rebuilding everything the Empire had ruined, the way Luke was rebuilding the Jedi Order.

He had sacrificed as the last of the Jedi religion.

In the first few months of Ben's birth, she had gotten up frequently to check on him. Even when he was older, she had checked on him, waking from her own dreams of bombing raids on the New Republic destroying everything they had sacrificed for.

She had sacrificed.

She had been the dutiful mother in her heart.

"I was thinking of Chandrila." The glass revealed the panel sliding open. She knew it was him

"I remember our apartment there. You always wanted to live near Lake Sa'hot. Do you remember spending the summers in the countryside?"

"That was in the past." He was dismissive, bored almost. Leia wasn't sure how much of his memories remained. What had Snoke done to him all those years to make him so unrecognizable? "I suppose it was." She turned to face him, refusing to show the heavy sadness in her heart. "Well, since you didn't come here to reminisce, what's wrong?"

Kylo looked at her and couldn't speak. He knew what was wrong, every single thing he could use fear to gain and lose was inside that room with him. They wanted her dead as an example. Leia was far more intuitive about him than he had realized. She came toward him, breaching the invisible line drawn of tolerable proximity.

"What's happened?" Her concern emanated in the Force, a steady palpable wave that failed to reach him. Kylo felt the resonance of it, wondering as he looked into her face, when she had ever become so frail. The spitfire woman of the past was a distant memory in the aged face peering up at him now.

"You're going to die."

"Oh, is that all?" Leia's concern relaxed into something close to pained acceptance. "Everyone dies eventually. No one lives forever."

No. No. No. She didn't understand. They wanted him to kill her. Not now. But, eventually as a dying symbol of the loathsome Resistance. The very thing he had almost destroyed on the Raddus. TN-1063 and his other wingmate had fired in his place. The fires of his anger flared up at the memory.

"Is there anything else wrong?" Leia returned to the window, pausing to pick up a shawl and wrap it around her shoulders.

"No."

 _Maybe I shouldn't say anything._ Leia corrected her thoughts. She wasn't going to be afraid of him. "I thought maybe something had happened to TN-1063 as you called her." A trace of sarcasm lingered. Leia was tempted to ask if that was a first name or a last name, knowing very well the numerical designations of military ranking. _Did she have a first name? A last name? Anything outside of that dehumanizing moniker_ …but she sighed, realizing Kylo had stopped listening to her. Maybe she had been wrong before. Blindly hoping, grasping for something to remain of him. She could feel the darkness growing within him like a malignant growth seemingly pulsing with the mention of the pilot.

"Why would I concern myself with her?"

"Oh, I don't know. Is _TN_ a first name? How about Tina? That's a nice name."

Kylo stared at her, his look inscrutable. Leia thought she had irritated him. "She has a name." He said slowly.

"Then, why don't you call her by it?"

Why didn't he? Rey was the girl, the scavenger, but he had always thought of her by her name. TN-1063, who had followed him around the Finalizer, who had rearranged her schedule just to look at him, was _the pilot_. _The former pilot. TN-1063._ The pilot he had taken his frustrations out on in the flight exercise. She was skilled in the cockpit, if circumstances had been different, a Leader of a TIE squadron.

 _Why…because it demeaned her? Made her feel less than human?_ The echo of Radford's words replayed in his mind, plaguing him. Radford, a vile, disgusting creature who was self-absorbed with his own looks and future, thought TN-1063 was worthy of attention. Radford wasn't aware of her worth as a Force user; he had appraised her based on her face, her well-shaped lips and blue eyes.

 _"She's beautiful."_

"You know how she feels about you."

 _I didn't come here for her._

"I don't care about her."

"Alright, what do you want me to say?" Leia accepted his scowl with composure. Kylo knew what he wanted her to say. The acquiescence he needed to hear. "The Resistance is decimated. Skywalker is dead."

"You know…there was a time when I thought you were right. The spark is out, but it won't stay gone forever. There will be others someday, Ben. The Rebellion will be reborn even if I'm no longer around."

"That was my old name." He stirred slightly, the name heard thousands of times in his youth.

"It's still your name."

He looked at her, the trembling beginning in his clenched fists. He could see Lor San Tekka defying him on the trash heap of Jakku. _"You can't deny the truth that is your family."_

 _"You're so right."_

"Ben Solo was weak. I killed him. Your son is dead, Organa. Either you bow down to the First Order or you accept death as punishment for your crimes."

Leia flinched from the acid in his tone. She held her ground however, regarding him with eventual, saddened resignation. "Then, we have no more to say to one another, Kylo Ren."

The sound of the door slamming preceded the descent of silence before the storm. In the hallway, Kylo clenched his jaws so tightly, his teeth ground themselves together. Leia had stoked the fire of his anger with her censure. He had felt her disgust, her pain. She was angry with him and it had taken more self-control than he thought he had to leave the room without screaming at her..

…

The meeting was over.

 _He was handsome, Saskia's Captain Radford_ .

"He smiled at me." She commented to BB-9e in the crew quarters. The crew had gone aboard the Dreadnought, visiting the cityscape. For one reason or another, they weren't leaving so soon. Jaina had emerged from the sonic shower in a loose long-sleeve top and pants. "He seems nice." The droid beeped about what male smiles usually meant based on data concerning bodily temperatures and that sly look in Radford's eyes. "Oh, don't be so disapproving! I know he wanted to have...you know...but, still it feels good to be noticed as a woman." The droid rolled after her, internal processors cycling through images saved on its holodisk.

Finally choosing one, the droid's eye projected on the floor between them. Jaina turned toward BB-9e, surprised. The holofeed depicted the shadowy contours of a room. Three men observed the edge of a large glass tank. The central most figure was recognizable to her from his profile, he had turned slightly to regard the ginger-haired man who had spoken, answering the commander.

 _"I would do anything to protect her."_

"He killed my grandfather…indirectly…but…," _Hux did think of me for more than my force powers. Unlike..._

BB-9e froze the recording, magnifying Kylo's face. She saw the confusion, disgust and mockery in his expression. "Well, I already knew he did what he did to punish his rebelling knight." She sat on the floor beside the droid. "I wasn't figuring into that equation at all." She stared at the tiny figure of Kylo Ren frozen in stasis. "Still it hurts to see it." As she spoke, she felt the disturbance somewhere on the ship. A displacement of stable energies suddenly whipping into a violent fury. She could feel him leaving Leia...making his way to the training room. Something had happened. Something was wrong. Jaina hesitated, pushing herself up to her feet. "Should I...," she shook her head slightly. _He had come from visiting his mother that meant something had to have happened that concerned her._

...

Objects levitated around him.

Kylo was a storm in the Force, a torpor of fury released through dark energy. She stood just beyond the safety of the doors, feeling a slight tremor of fear run down her spine. She flinched hearing the resounding crack of something strike the wall. She had the sense that he wasn't even aware of her presence. _He was punching the wall, having no other outlet to release his anger on._ Instinctively, she snatched at his wrist, her physical hand closing on nothing yet the Force gesture itself was gentle. "You're hurting yourself." She snapped, aware that the levitating fragments of shattered blaster droids floated around her. They fell without ceremony, clanging as they struck the reinforced flooring. She moved across the room, lightly, unhurried. He took in deep breaths his bent body heaving with the ragged physicality of his anger. Jaina reached his side, conscious of the temperature having dropped several degrees. The dark side pulsed from him, seething with his emotions. She hesitated on reaching out, her hand lingering above his right shoulder.

"Don't do this." She reached instead for his clenched fist lying flush against the wall; the lightest brush sent a tremor of burning pain into her nerve endings. Resolutely, she encircled his larger hand with her own. Kylo turned toward her suddenly; his hair fell forward into his face, a look of savagery twisting his expression into something like insanity. She almost thought she glimpsed a flash of yellow flare through the hazel.

"What would you know about anything?" He demanded harshly.

"I never said I did." She muttered, glaring. With her free hand, she gestured to the med kit fastened across the wall. "But, I do know that the military elite are still aboard the ship. What if they saw you like this? What would they think then?" She tugged his glove off, exposing his pale hand with a rounded palm and thick digits. The knuckles were bruised, reddened from impact. The Force had given him the strength to continue his mindless destruction yet hadn't shielded his flesh.

"What if you had broken your hand?"

"Pain gives me power in the dark side."

He was stupid, glaring at her like that. She was only trying to help. Jaina entertained the thought of leaving him there and returning back to the shuttle; hopefully he would continue his idiocy and hurt himself. "There are other means of gaining power through passion." She hissed, tightening her grip. She was rewarded by a slight flinch. _Ah, yes_. Two could play that game. He thought she was that stupid to not figure out his little trick of causing pain. Her eyes narrowed on him, his expression warring between pride and fury. Well, she could cause pain in other places as well; other more discreet places.

"Come on." She yanked on his wrist, indicating one of the benches that had escaped his destruction. Reluctantly, he stumped after her.

"Your Force control has improved," he commented, glancing as the roll of bandages lifted up and began winding around his hand. She switched her grip, gently tugging the end of the bandage between his fingers.

"Wow, thanks. I'm glad I met your exacting standards." Jaina said sarcastically, fastening it too loosely.

"You really are hopeless. Can't you do anything right?" The heat was gone from his voice. A slight bemused smile played on his lips. Jaina stilled her motions, stricken by the familiarity of the words. She could see her small hands clumsily wrapping cloth around a blaster burn.

 _"What're you going to do when I'm not here?"_

 _"You're not going anywhere."_

 _"Yeah, I am! I'm going to be a pilot and travel across the stars."_

 _"Quit copying me! I said I was going to be a pilot when I grow up!"_

She looked down at their hands, suddenly lost. _What was I doing?_ Who was that with me? He had started to fix the bandage himself, their fingertips bumped awkwardly. She pulled away as if burned.

"How do you…read minds?"

"I break down their defenses with pain."

"Pillaging their memories and feelings."

She could see him cupping the side of Rey's face, leaning in close as if her inner thoughts were whispered into his ear; the illusion of intimacy was unsettling. "But, you can't do it now."

He studied her face, the flicker of her eyes.

"You want to test your mental defenses."

She shrugged slightly, her shoulders lifted. "Maybe. I didn't come all this way to play nursemaid."

No, she hadn't. She felt such an absurd pleasure at holding his hand. Such a small thing she expected him to crush her fingers at any moment to punish her audacity. Kylo reveled in cruelty. She had sensed his pleasure at causing torment and pain to those he perceived as wronging him.

She had an image in her mind, draining all thought away. "What am I thinking?" She deliberately withheld reading him. That part of her conscious mind, she sealed away. The _Force_ stirred, pressing against her eardrums, probing the interior of her head, the physical sensation of discomfort gave way to needle-like pain intensifying into head-splitting agony. He had none of the invasive finesse her grandfather had. His mental probe was brute force applied into the mental pathways.

It was easier to understand - and combat.

"You're thinking of someone."

She allowed him that much. "Yes."

"A human male."

She fell silent, projecting a double image in her mind.

"No, a droid."

She saw the frustration simmer in the _Force_. His jaw tightened, he squeezed her hand, covering the backs of her fingers. She felt the blood rush from her fingertips, the skin reddened in patches. He was breaking her hand.

"I'll give you a hint."

She pushed the image back into the invading force, shoving with the strength of the dark side. He felt the flare of pain behind his senses, releasing her suddenly. Jaina flexed her right hand experimentally, trying to regain feeling into her fingers. "You don't know what's real and what isn't when you invade someone's mind. Let that be a lesson to you."

"Only yours!" Kylo snapped, visibly discomforted. He wasn't the only one who could play at torture.

She shrugged again, "more machine than man. That's what you aspire to be, grandson of Vader." Yes, she had shown him what his emulation of the Dark Lord made him in the end; someone clinging to life through a respirator, his face a patchwork of scars, one eye a saber slash scar, sinking into the withered flesh, the other remaining eye a startling yellow slit.

"That is what the dark side will do to you."

"You've seen it." He said, at turns horrified and fascinated at the vision she had thrust into his head.

"I don't claim to be a prophet of the dark side, just someone with a vivid imagination if it makes you feel any better." But, she was lying. She had hidden it away where he could never find it. "Now would you tell me what's wrong." She looked at him earnestly, sensing the slight hesitation. Kylo had lost the edge of vicious anger she had seen in his movements, now she saw it rise again as if reminded of whatever thorn was pricking him.

"It doesn't concern you."

"Try me. Look, there's a lot I can't do anything about. I used to fight battles on a small front." She propped one hand on her hip. "If I can help you, I will without you demanding it of me."

His only answer was to walk away from her.

 _Why do I even try?_

She stared after him for a long moment, before leaving the training hall herself. BB-9e waited in the corridor, silently rolling after her unhurried pace. Something was eating him up. _Whether it had to do with the First Order, or with more immediate concerns such as Farady or Hux…,_ she went over what they had said and done. The most logical cause possibly stemmed from the meeting of the First Order military leaders. Jaina briefly considered calling Duma to ask if anything untoward had happened at the meeting, then recalled it wasn't her place to pry. _It wasn't my concern, well that's what he said. Maybe he's right_. She was unusually tired after his impromptu attack. She yawned hugely, covering her mouth with her hand when the turbolift doors opened. A dark-skinned man stood inside. Thin with a narrow direct gaze, she noted the detailing on his uniform designated him as Captain rank.

He held the door for her, nearly leaving BB-9e in the hallway. "The droid's with me." She explained to his curious look. The droid wedged itself between her and the Captain, head swiveling to him occasionally.

They had passed a few floors, when he spoke. "Is that Haysian smelt I see?"

Rather than most men, she found his gaze was fixated on the hilt of her saber rather than her breasts, or a close second, her lips. "Yes, it is."

"May I look at it?"

She unclipped the hilt and held it out to him.

"I am Captain Amaral of the Executrix." He introduced, taking the hilt firmly in his gloved hand.

"Jaina Ionone. I flew in convoy escorting you and your staff to the Executrix after repairs were made some years ago." As with all leaders, she noted he nodded vaguely, more interested in the metal comprising her light saber than anything she had to say.

Amaral turned it over, whistling softly. "Absolutely gorgeous detailing. You know, Haysian smelt is the best energy conductor? It's certainly a pity that the Otomok system was devastated. Soramar Ren had a number of light sabers in his collection, but none whatsoever like yours. It's a fine piece of craftsmanship."

She stiffened slightly at the mention of the Knight of Ren. "Oh, you were acquainted with him?"

"He was stationed aboard my ship. But, you're…an initiate? Otherwise why carry a light saber?" He handed the hilt back to her. Jaina felt his surface thoughts, saw a fleeting memory of an argument the knight had with him. She was surprised. Amaral was somewhat pleasant, yet had a vicious streak beneath his polite exterior.

"Yes, I…suppose I am." _I wouldn't have known what to call myself._ "What did Soramar do on the Executrix?"

"He was reconnaissance, he went on assassination missions. Thought he could keep me in line. Things of that ilk." Amaral smirked, glancing at the number counter. Jaina half-nodded, it was everything she would've expected from a dark sider. As she observed Amaral from the corner of her eye, she wondered if he knew the cause of Kylo's fury, if there was a cause rooted in his immediate surroundings.

"How was the meeting?"

"It went just dandy. Now we're all stuck here with droid cleaners who ruin silk shirts and serve poor food. How Captain Farady can tolerate their programmed ineptitude, I don't know." He pressed one of the buttons. The lift glided to a stop. Amaral touched the tip of his hat to her respectfully and walked out. Jaina waited until the lift had closed again before brushing her fingertips over the keypad.

 _"Boring. Everyone knows it was."_

 _"Kylo Ren just sat there and didn't say anything of importance to us …not that he knows a jot about running the most powerful military in the galaxy."_

 _"V'lane needs to watch his mouth - going to get us both in trouble."_

 _"I say off with her head and be done with it."_

The last thought had a spark of irritation along with it. Jaina retracted her hand, her fingers curling loosely into a fist. BB-9e bumped her leg to get her attention. She had a flash of the board room style meeting. She saw the faces of the First Order Captains along with holocall images of the ones who had refused for one reason or another not to come in person. Amaral sat next to his friend, young Captain Radford, who paled considerably, but endeavored to hide his initial reaction.

It was Leia, last princess of Alderaan, General of the Resistance. They were going to execute her. Kylo Ren was given the choice of method.

…

 _I have to save her._

"If I don't…he'll fall to the dark side completely." The droid looked at her doubtfully. She felt the droid was looking at her as doubtfully as possible. Jaina rifled through the rack of suit jackets, trying to find one in her size. "You know I'm right."

The droid beeped she was trying to get into his good graces - if he had any.

"She's his mother. What does that have to do with anything?"

/Yourself/

Frustrated, she tried kicking the rack and missed, knocking down a bunch of neatly pressed slacks folded on lower rung hangars. Finally finding the right size, she slipped into a hidden corner and began dressing. BB-9e kept lookout from the doorway. Jaina stilled her hands buttoning up the row of shiny black buttons.

 _I'm not doing for this myself…maybe I am, just a little. I know he'll regret not fighting to save her…the same as anger leads down the path to the dark side_. She smoothed her hair back, fastening the longer strands with a tiny matching binder.

"How do I look?"

She stepped out into view. The droid beeped in approval. _Right…good enough_. She started walking for the turbolift, her stride matching the confident poise of the other officers. The only thing different was the blue-eyed droid rolling after her.

…

V'lane sat aboard the Blackhawk's lounge, motionless. He had scarcely moved or spoken since returning to his shuttle after declining the quarters opposite Karajan. Miura knocked on the inside of the door, momentarily startling him.

"Was the news terrible, sir?"

"The very worst and the problem is…I'm right here and can't do a blasted thing about it."

"You're only one person, sir. There are forty-seven thousand personnel aboard the Ravager. We are seven in number." Miura looked at the datapad displaying the total number they were up against. "I can recalculate the totals, break it down by number, but the result is the same. We're outmatched completely."

"Not including Kylo Ren and Hux's officers." He smiled bitterly. "It would take an army to do what needs to be done and somehow…I must do it."

"Sir?"

He sat up straighter, glancing at his Lieutenant. "Where there is a will, there is a way. If I can find out where she is on the ship, then we can figure out something." Radford got to his feet, thinking fast. "Where is Lady Ren?"

"Um…she was en route to the Kobol Sector, but made the jump to the Gordian Reach a few hours ago according to our tracker. The most noteworthy place is the moon Yavin 4 orbiting the gas giant, Yavin."

 _Yavin 4…that was in the Outer Rim_.

 _Saskia was faraway and wouldn't return for a while yet_. Radford started to see the beginnings of an opportunity. "Can we loop security feedback now?"

"Yes."

"Good." He rebuttoned the top of his suit jacket, smoothing the thick black material over his breast pocket, then touched the Defender-5 pistol holstered at his hip. Checking the firearm, he removed the setting from stun to kill. "How do I look?" Miura tried to find a reassuring look despite the concern he felt being in enemy territory. "Like you're going for a stroll, sir. Oh, but don't forget your hat."

…

Leia knew who it was before the panel revolved back revealing TN-1063. The woman wore a buttoned suit jacket down to the hip, creased trousers tucked into polished leather boots. Instead of the blaster of an officer, she carried a light saber. Leia glanced at it, surprised. The hilt had a pair of curved wings that would frame the blade when ignited. She thought of the symbol of the Jedi Luke had showed her once. But, the saber carried the unmistakable taint of evil within it. Leia sat composed, setting aside the datapad she had been allowed.

"I think I can make an educated guess as to why you've come."

"Probably." The woman was remarkably calm despite pale in color. "I want to help you. But, you have to tell me how."

"He already came and told me what was decided."

"Please." The woman said and dropped down to her knees. "I lost my mother to your people. I can't let him lose you to the First Order."

"He has made himself Emperor in everything but name. He can't sway them and neither can you." A spark of old fire came to life in her. Leia gently laid hands on the woman's thin shoulders. The Force signature she felt radiated from within an ocean. "You can't face down a Dreadnought."

"Luke Skywalker pulled a Star Destroyer from the sky above Jakku. I can do anything I want if I set my mind to it." Leia saw the conviction in her blue eyes. The most frightening thing was her surety.

"Besides, Kylo needs you. He doesn't need anyone else."

"That's where you're wrong." _He needs someone like you._

"He isn't fully dark yet."

She sighed, how could she explain how she knew he was gone? "There is no light left in him. When I felt him above the Raddus…" the woman started to speak, but Leia shushed her. "He was as black as space. Within that absolute darkness he was screaming. There is nothing left of him, I'm sorry."

"You're wrong. I know I felt it. I saw darkness, but there was also light." In her face she saw the glow of hope. "I don't want to turn him. No one is fully light or dark, but he needs you. He needs his mother." The woman tugged her glove off her right hand. "Let me show you what I saw, please!" Leia watched her fingertips lift to her forehead. She wasn't going to be afraid. Not now. Not ever. She felt the slight pressure rest against her brow and she saw a room lined with columns. Benches ran against one wall. A young man of Zabrakian origin knelt down in rigid force restraint. He couldn't move, he could barely breathe in her control. She could feel his lungs, his internal organs, the two hearts pounding in his chest through the course of blood flowing in his veins. His every thought and memory he had ever lived was laid bare to her.

He was only alive because she didn't want him dead yet.

She could feel herself an essence within the woman's body. She was part of the memory, part of the moment. Such immense power danced at her fingertips, the _Force_ breathed with her, flooding her lungs with the exultant triumph of the dark side. She was one with the Force. She had only to reach for that power and it was there, waiting for her. Then, she sensed a slight disturbance entering her field of control. Someone was coming. She felt Ben/Kylo as a searing flash ripping through her mind. Yes. There was concern. He was concerned for her. He knew something was wrong. He had let things go wrong.

The woman let go and she sat with her in the apartment. Leia blinked in the sudden brightness, unsure how to feel or think. She had never felt anything quite like her, never experienced the dark side…how it felt to have that power at one's command was unfathomable. As a leader of people, human and alien, she knew what it was like to be looked up to, respected, command through vocalization. _But, something as invincible as the Force - how had the woman been able to let it go?_ _Why had she simply let it go for Kylo Ren? Why didn't she kill him now?_

"So you see?"

Leia didn't know what to say at first. Words failed her for a moment, and then she slowly collected herself. "I don't know what you think you saw, but I saw nothing. Only darkness."

…

 _I imagined it…is that what it was?_

Jaina stood on the sky bridge overlooking the glass plated wall. Below, the main hangar spread out with the docking stations of fighter craft and the air tower in the far distance. "I should go." BB-9e bumped her right leg gently. "You're saying I shouldn't give up?"

The droid beeped in binary.

"I should talk to him. That's what you think?"

 _Leia doesn't want to be saved. She won't pledge allegiance to the First Order. She won't bow to Kylo… come to think of it…I'm not going to anymore either._ "I don't know how to save her. I… should just go back to the Tarkin." BB-9e nudged her leg again. She wasn't moving. She didn't want to move from that place. Jaina blinked at the clanking of Stormtrooper armor from a pair on patrol. She couldn't let it go. She couldn't force her body to move, to leave knowing the moment she came back, Leia would be gone. "Let's find him then."

…

Kylo bit down on the protein bar. He had retreated to his quarters after the time spent in the training hall. He couldn't rest. He wasn't tired enough to sleep. She had worn him down enough to take the edge off his anger. In a slightly calmer state of mind, he paced around his room, thinking of the vicious swipe that had narrowly taken his hand off. _Did limb loss run in the Skywalker family?_ Unconsciously, he flexed his hand, fingertips curling over the soft cloth wound over the back of his bruised knuckles and palm.

The biometric scanner beeped red.

He glanced at it, sensing the irritation on the other side of the door. "It's key coded with secondary fingerprint identification." He said, inputting the authorization. The panel slid open to reveal the former pilot and droid.

She put her fist down hastily.

She had thought to use a force punch on the scanner. "Sorry, but I need to talk to you."

Kylo sensed the shift in the Force, nodding slightly. He stepped back allowing her to slip into his quarters. The droid stayed in the hallway. "Mind-tricking my guards?"

"They're only Stormtroopers. You said once that I could talk to you any time or was that a lie also?" Jaina stood a few feet away from him, resisting the urge to look around. She had already seen the narrow, hard bed, the center table with a few glass bottles on it. The console with the holocall receiver and the pile of folded clothing. He had the sense she would've sat on the bed, looked at the bottles, ran her hands over the console top to try and get a sense of him, if he hadn't been physically present.

"No, it wasn't." Kylo walked around her to dissuade her from taking up temporary station in his room. He could tell what it was weighing heavily on her mind. She was the kind of person who had a secret bleeding heart for injustices, sympathy for broken souls. Her pity disgusted him sometimes.

"Your mother, Leia, you can't let her be executed. You have to do something."

"She doesn't want to be saved." He said bored, he had gone through the conversation with his mother over and over until he had to stop. Leia had stopped fighting. She wasn't going to do what he wanted and he wasn't going to be her son again. Once they had come to that separate conclusion on their own, they had realized they had nothing to say to one another. Leia was nothing to him. Once he had affixed a label to her in his mind, he became bored of the whole ordeal.

He wanted to finish it.

He wanted it over already; Leia Organa Solo consigned to the airlock.

"She doesn't think there's a way to be saved." Jaina corrected him. He glanced at her narrowly. He could see her determination, her persistence. The contention in her heart was her willingness to fight his stubbornness. She wanted to save his mother for him. How pathetic. "There must be a way. I'll help you-" she saw him recoil from her, stricken by some familiarity in her words. "We'll think of something! How long do you have to decide?"

A day. Maybe more if he threatened them enough. He considered her earnestness. There was no time in space. No reason why he should delay the execution. "There is no _we_ , there is no _us_. You are _on your own_ as you've always been. You're the only one who wants to save a war criminal."

He watched her face go through degrees of color; pink with humiliation, red with fury then white as the color drained from her face.

"How can you say that about her?" He could see the hurt in her eyes. "I may have almost hated my mother at one time, but then I realized that she had never stopped loving me."

"You were abandoned on a war ship for no other reason than that no one wanted you. You didn't have a name. You didn't exist outside of the TIE squadron. You were nothing, TN-1063." She was deluding herself again. She had shown it to him once. It was only the truth he was repeating, something she chose to forget.

The slight anger was there, a thread of it within her. "Let's discuss me some other time. I'd rather know the reason why you refuse to save her."

 _She didn't want me. Do I need any other reason to destroy the past?_

Kylo felt his old boiling anger overflowing his reserves. His patience drained away to the spiraling dregs of deep-rooted bitterness. "She doesn't want me to live. Her cause is gone. She has nothing!" He spat, stalking across the room toward her. Jaina held her ground, staring at him. "You're lying. There was never a time when Leia wanted you dead. Even above the Mon Calamari cruiser, you know how she felt."

 _She wanted me to return to her._

He turned away from her.

The woman knew the truth.

"You know I'm right. She loves you and would never want to harm you. I'm not asking for anything. I just don't want to see you hurting."

Hurt? Oh, he was beyond that minor pain. The galaxy was his. He had convinced himself that he didn't care what happened to his mother that to see the sympathy in her face was too much. He couldn't stand it suddenly. Being watched by those eyes; _being_ _understood by them_. Kylo spun around quickly, his hand flexed open, probing the _Force_ for warm human flesh. The only one there was the former pilot, who stood with crossed arms, regarding him with sadness in her eyes.

He had her throat in his grasp - _the Force let him feel it, let him see it._ The slim column of her throat lifted and fell beneath his palm as she swallowed. Kylo _saw himself strangling her, experiencing the blackest of pleasures as she collapsed to the floor, choking and sputtering -_

The moment was gone.

"Is that your answer?"

His hand fell to his side, relinquishing the _Force_. Kylo wasn't sure if he had stopped or if she had stopped him.

"Is that _all_ you know how to say?" She shook her head slightly. "I'm wasting my time here."

…

 _Who stopped in that moment? Him or me?_ She didn't know anymore, but didn't care either. She collected BB-9e and walked past the Stormtroopers who had let her pass after a moment of subversive tactics. Jaina walked furiously and tightly, her movements betraying the imbalance of emotion inside her.

She stopped an officer in the hallway. "Where is Captain Farady?"

"Uh-" the man's eyes flickered over her face then down to the light saber hilt clipped to her belt. His tongue clove to the roof of his mouth. "Um-On the bridge!"

Jaina swept by the stammering man without another word. She rode up to the bridge level with another officer and a BB unit similar to BB-9e. The other droid scanned them, red photoreceptor eye clicking until the hand she had curled at her side, curled around its inner processor with the _Force_ , squeezing it emphatically. The droid uttered a mechanical beep of alarm and quickly averted its eye to the doors.

The lift glided to a stop. She waited for the officer and droid to exit, striding toward one of the offices lining the spacious corridor. The black steel and red trimmed theme continued to the vast open archway at the end of the hall. The Star Dreadnought's bridge was full of BB units, officers standing at attention. Some monitored the screens situated on the sides of the front wing facing the viewport windows, others lined the bridge pits. Captain Farady stood with another man of similar rank. It was Amaral, she recognized when he turned.

"Captain Farady."

"Ah- you're the former pilot, TN-1063." The man's gaze traveled over her uniform. "Where did you get that clothing from?" She detected the note of apprehension in his voice, likely assuming Ren had done something behind his back.

"Does that matter now? I want you to remove the flying ban on my record."

Amaral had been pretending to look over the shoulder of a nervous radar officer.

"I can't - that's for the commanding officer of the flight tower to-"

"And you're Captain of the Ravager, the Supreme Leader's flagship. Your word supersedes all others when it concerns personnel." She stared hard at Farady whose throat bobbed as he processed her words.

"Well, there must be a rea-hrk!"

Her hand curled into a claw at her side. BB-9e tilted its head around her, looking from her hand to Farady's sudden futile gesturing at his throat. "No. There is no reason. I want it removed. I want a ship of yours. Give me one." A greater portion of the officers on the bridge made themselves scarce including Captain Amaral who went to stand with Peavey. The latter was frozen by the viewport windows, his blue eyes wide in his face. She knew he was reliving every time General Hux had been body-slammed to the floor of the Finalizer by Snoke.

She plucked a thought out of random from Farady's head. "Oh. Die now or later? Ren isn't going to concern himself with this. At least not for a little while so enjoy your life while you can. Including _El Clone_." The last bit caused Farady's eyes to bulge wildly from their sockets. She had seen the old spice world drama in his thoughts.

"H-Hu-rts."

"It does, doesn't it." She had hooked the claws of the energy surrounding her into his face. The droid beeped a little to remind her of the Stormtroopers who stood guard at the entrance. She gestured slightly with the same hand, extending her reach. They straightened abruptly and resumed position.

"So what is your answer, Captain Farady?"

He nodded with a quick shake of his head.

"I expect to be cleared for flight by the time I reach the hangar." Jaina slowly released his throat, the drone of the inner voices surrounding her faded. The dark side fell into a low murmuring ebb. She shifted her glance to Peavey and Amaral. The younger Captain smiled pleasantly, commenting as she walked away. "That was the Force…that intense feeling of dread in one's soul?"

"Pretty much." Peavey shrugged uncomfortably; unable to quite rid himself of that deep fear clutching his heart.

"Interesting. The Knight of Ren who used to be stationed on my ship never force-choked me."

"Lucky." Farady remarked, massaging his throat, moving onto patting his face to make sure it was intact. "That wasn't a force-choke either."

…

"Not too shabby." She commented to the droid, studying the starfighter number sent to her wrist comm. Farady understood what was at stake when his life was in danger. Jaina changed into a flight suit and helmet in a room off the hangar floor. As they rode the lift up to the fighter striped red designating it as an elite craft, she glanced down at the droid's beep.

"Where are we going? Not too far. I just know I couldn't stand being on the same ship as him. At least for now."

The droid bumped her legs affectionately, beeping.

"Oh? Don't use the dark side too much…I know. Lord Vader could force-choke multiple targets around him. I figured it's more like dividing one's focus." _It was a useful technique without using one's light saber._ The latter thought reminded her of Kylo with his insistence that the force was instinctive. Well, in some cases it was. She thought he was right concerning saber combat especially blast deflection.

 _"You can't face down a Star Dreadnought."_ Right, even Leia didn't believe in her. It was such a waste to feel Leia's force sensitivity. What had the New Republic ever done for her and the Skywalker-Solo family? Jaina climbed into the cockpit ball, levitating BB-9e after her. "Maybe Kylo was right about a few things. Leia's cause was always rebellion, yet what did the New Republic stand for?"

The droid beeped about the long history of the Republic before the Empire dominated the galaxy. "Well, the Empire wasn't perfect, but how many systems responded to the Resistance?" She had heard how they were crushing small rebel pockets throughout the Outer Rim territories. The droid fell silent as she strapped it into the back of her seat. "The answer is none did. Granted, I don't know that much about Republic history…but I'm probably not wrong."

The droid beeped finally when she piloted them into open space. "They stood for…hope?" She chuckled softly, setting the coordinates into the flight computer. The onboard nav system displayed the visuals from the sector they were in. Jaina checked corresponding hyperspace lanes, finally choosing one whose destination was an hour away. "I can think of one person who would disagree with you. For him…the Rebellion's victory ended in the same darkness."

…

"Is everything to your liking?"

The man who spoke was younger than him by decades. Tall with an imposing presence lightened by the warm smile and resemblance to a former flying mate; Jagged Fel had black hair and green eyes. Luke saw something of Wedge in Fel's profile.

"I can think of nothing that lacks." Luke said honestly. After leaving the droids on the sky bridge, he had stiffly walked to the cafeteria. Some still stared openly as he walked among the officers. His light saber especially drew the most stares.

"You've been keeping to yourself lately. Dameron thinks you might be feeling unwelcome."

 _Oh, he does, doesn't he?_

"Leave an old man to his habits. Why have you really come here?" _Surely, he was the least of the man's concerns._

Fel didn't seem perturbed with Luke's conscious use of the Force. He stepped inside, closing the door firmly behind him. "Something is troubling you, I can tell."

"There is no plan, no nothing to save her. Why is it taking so long?" That was part of his concern, the other half remained unnameable.

"General Organa isn't going to be executed from one day to another. The First Order will want something advantageous to come out of it. Executing her is the same as declaring the old galactic order is dead. I would expect it to come about as a result of a capitol world being christened."

"You don't know Ben Solo the way I do. He doesn't care about making a statement or stopping because of human feeling." Luke held his gaze. "Ben Solo is a monster. You can't fight insanity with hope." He sank into the window seat overlooking the transit of stars. "I already tried fixing what was broken in him and nothing good ever came of it."

"I understand how you feel, Master Skywalker. I know what's like to _wait_." Fel's tone dropped off, behind his militaristic exterior, Luke sensed the sadness underlying his confident poise. "I've been waiting decades to strike back at them for what they did to us…always running, always hiding and being betrayed in the early days. But, we must be patient. General Organa is helpless in their hands, but we have you and…,"

Luke's gaze turned probing. Fel was hiding something from him, deliberately hesitating on revealing whatever secret weapon they had going for them. He wasn't blind to the dark side wards shielded by barriers that kept the fleet safer than anything else he had seen before. _It all spoke of a Force user…but who?_ His outward mental probe was weak against the mental shields Fel practiced.

"I will tell you this. We have someone on the inside."

 _For the last two decades…everything we know about the First Order has come through strategically placed loyalists. But of them all, only one knows where and who they are._

"How do you know this man isn't going to turn on you?" It seemed highly risky to trust on the good will of one person. Luke had seen where misplaced trust led. Thousands of people were counting on remaining hidden away in the darkness of the galaxy. Thousands of people including the handful of Resistance fighters were counting on Imperials and an old Jedi Master to save the galaxy.

"Oh, he knows what's at stake. Besides, we know his secret heart. All his misgivings, his fears…he hides them behind the face of a profligate scoundrel, but he is actually very nice. His reputation among the First Order is practically untouchable due to his father who created _Hyperspace Tracking_ for the Empire."

 _Thankfully, we know its flaws and how to turn it off remotely_.

"Sounds good so far. Except there's only two people in the galaxy who could tell you those things and one of them is dead." He flinched at his own words. "You're working with a Force user. I've known for a while…now I want to know-" Luke held his hand up."Pilot?" He felt her presence through the _Force_ suddenly. Fel straightened, surprise in his look. Luke frowned and made a shooing gesture. The younger man shrugged and stepped out, closing the door gently. The Jedi Master felt his knees creak when he sank down to a meditative pose. _I'm getting too old for this_ , he thought.

 _"What is it? Decided you wanted wisdom?"_

 _"No."_ Her reply was flat, then her tone changed _. "The First Order has decided to execute your sister. I...I'm sorry."_ There was no mockery in her, only a sense of sadness. Luke wasn't entirely surprised. They were taking too damned long to do anything about it and yet he had the feeling Leia had already come to the same conclusion that it was time to let go.

 _"I sensed her less in the Force. I could always feel her across space whenever I was connected as I am now."_

 _"She has given up hope, Luke. I don't think I can help her."_

 _"You've spoken with her?"_

 _"Two maybe three hours ago - I'm not sure. I tried talking to Kylo -"_

This, he snorted at. _"Ben Solo wouldn't lift a finger to help his mother. He has tried to kill her numerous times. I'm just surprised he dragged his feet this long after capturing her."_

Soft silence met his response. He could feel her disappointment. Whatever else she was feeling, she was letting it go through the _Force_. So much blue surrounded her luminescent form, so much sorrow. _"I'm starting to think you're right. Kylo won't help her because she won't be what he wants. Leia isn't going to accept his galactic rule so they've come to an impasse of ideals."_ She exhaled and the sound was resigned. _"I'm sorry I doubted you."_

Luke thought of everything he knew, knowing his mind wasn't on display for her to read. There was safety in distance, yet at the same moment, he was glad she had reached out to him. _"I'm just sorry I was right."_

He felt her drifting away from him, breaking the connection.

 _"Luke?"_

 _"I'm still here, pilot."_

 _"What created the rebellion?"_

Oh, that question. What could he say? A lot of rash decisions, dreams, fears, belief in a better future…the spark that Dameron believed in. It was a little bit of everything he had ever lived through and survived, loved and lost. "Someone once said hope is like the sun. If you can only see it, then you'll never last through the night. I can't say…since there is no hope anymore."

…

They were drifting through space on low power, her hand on the control kept their course upright. Jaina had felt Luke's acceptance to the news of his sister's eventual demise. BB-9e had tried talking to her only to give up after a few noncommittal responses.

The droid turned its head. A blue beam shone from its eye between them.

Jaina heard herself.

"You were recording me?" She half-turned in the seat.

She saw the red beam of the saber cutting the air, deflecting the blaster bolts. "I'm not going to give up." She stared at herself, at the flicker in the recording. "Form I is the Way of Determination. What does determination mean? Never give up. Never ever give up." The projection stopped. The droid chirped gently.

"I already tried with Kylo. I can't make him change his mind. I can't do anything to help her." As she spoke, she dropped her gaze to the console and trigger system. For a long time it had been second nature to climb into a cockpit and feel nothing. Losing the sense of right and wrong had propelled the First Order into galactic domination.

 _"A Jedi only acts when balance can be achieved."_

She turned again, studying herself. "Kylo is imbalanced. He is more darkness than light. Maybe Leia was right. I was only seeing what I wanted to see. Kylo hasn't any light left in him. I guess I was fooling myself the whole time."

 _"That's why the Jedi Order fell!"_

"The only one who probably would care is…but I can't ask him. He would say there was always a way, that I would have to find it. Otherwise, they would say that Leia was one person I was risking everything for and it wasn't even because I believed like her."

The droid cycled through its store of recorded images, finally finding the oldest from when its data disk was wiped clean. The record was preserved on a hidden folder from the day they had first met on a barren, rocky spit of a planet.

The image was full of static. Sand had clogged the audio record, distorting the pilot's voice. Jaina blinked seeing her much younger self in a ripped black flight suit standing on a plateau. She held a blaster toward the sky, fuzzy pew-pew sounds followed blast rings aimed at small alien birds unseen above. The droid wedged in sand and rock, chirped an opinion.

"I missed? Thanks for pointing out the obvious, droid! I don't know why I didn't pay more attention when the commander was teaching me how to shoot." She lowered the blaster, checking to see how many shots were left. "Oh, well, I'll just have to go for blaster practice when I get back."

BB-9e commented someone was being naïve.

"No, I was being hopeful. And no. I'm not wasting precious energy digging you out of there because BB units like your model number always shock me on base."

She watched as the recording ended. "I dug you out of there…remember? And I did go for blaster practice."

The droid beeped that wasn't the point. Jaina stared at the droid. "You're saying I'm not myself if I lose hope and keep believing…in what? What is there to believe in anymore?"

/The light/

... _even if you can't see hope...that doesn't mean there is none._

"Alright." She took the ship out of stasis. "I don't need Kylo. There is someone I think who might help." _Captain Radford…Saskia's Captain, V'lane Radford._ She had seen his concern in Amaral's memory - _he had voted for amnesty. If at the very least he disliked the loss of life. That made him different than anyone else among the First Order. He was concerned for Leia. Maybe he could help or offer advice_. Or it was all for nothing and Stormtroopers would arrest her and take her to the brig.

 _Well, I can always mind trick them._

…

"Did you ever meet Gallius Rax?" The board was set. Radford sat across from Farady, his interest seemingly absorbed by the game of Shah-tehz. Operatic music played in the background, the androgynous alien voice raised in unearthly wailing. Amaral had excused himself to his quarters. He never had the patience for games of strategy or for that terrible music as he put it.

"Yes, I did. It was a long time ago…on Jakku, as a matter of fact. I was in my teens accompanying my father. He was a minor Naval officer who died on the Empire's last Super Star Destroyer. Fittingly enough it was called _Ravager_."

"The loss of life was devastating." Radford said sympathetically. "Simply dreadful." Yes, he could see now why Farady fought for control of the Star Dreadnought.

"Why'd you ask about Rax? The fellow died on Jakku, that barren trash heap. It was nothing but sand and misery for everyone involved. I suspect," Farady advanced his piece across the board. "Brendol Hux went mad out there. He was already showing signs as Commandant of the Flight Academy. Now, his son thinks he can supplant me in command of the Ravager." Farady watched Radford's move, the computer cycled through the odds of either winning. "I'll tell you now, this ship means a lot to me. The crew depends on my decisions to get things done. Hux has always hidden behind Peavey and later Yago on the Supremacy to cover up his ineptitude."

"He went behind Kylo Ren's back to present the votes of the other Captains in the fleet." Radford's gaze drifted to the glass of untouched wine within reach. "My crew analyzed his private channel and the evidence is certain."

"Sounds more like a personal vendetta against Organa. Not that I care a whit. For sure, Armitage is losing his grip on sanity."

"It's a tie." Radford murmured, reading the number counter. "What do you say about our Supreme Leader?"

Farady had removed the peaked black cap from his greying brown hair. The sour expression on his face had relaxed with the flow of wine. He sat back in the curved black armchair. "He is terrible I suppose and sometimes I would question his sanity. But, the one I would watch out for is the initiate."

"Lady Ren mentioned her. Who is she? Where did she come from?" Radford leaned forward, curiosity alight in his eyes.

"She is a former TIE pilot from the Finalizer. I had them pull her record out so I could see it. I must say…she is something else." Self-consciously he rubbed at his lean close-shaven jaw. "You and I cannot feel the Force, but I don't want to imagine the day when she comes into her own."

"What're you saying? She is …talented?"

Farady looked at him piteously, at the younger man who had known nothing but favor, who had never felt the force gripping his life, ready at a moment's whim to wring it from him. "Never underestimate the power of the dark side, Captain." As he spoke, he thought of everything he knew about V'lane Radford, son of a genius. Handsome, young, never seen a battle in his life summarized the man. "I can't figure you out, either." Farady said slowly, aware that the other's ever-present amusement had returned. "This is a game of strategy. Yet you played admirably well for someone who has never directed troops in any real capacity."

"What can I say?" Radford lifted the wine glass up by the fragile stem. "Wager more than you have to win all you've got. The galaxy is the prize. It's the same…isn't it in a game of war?"

"The War is over." Farady thought of Organa who had undoubtedly been apprised of her fate.

"Ah. The War never ends. The war between ideals has begun. I am a betting man, Captain." He lightly tasted the wine. "Armitage Hux no longer has Brendol's shadow to hide behind. His inconsistencies and foibles will be exposed and we'll be looking for a new general soon."

"What would you like?" Farady could see where this was leading. He couldn't deny it was good to have the support of a popular man and the other Star Dreadnought on his side. Amaral was…difficult on his own, but with V'lane bringing him onboard, anything was possible.

"What do I _not_ want, I think, is the question. I think I could start with a few TIE Silencers - they are beauties, I saw one in your hangar. I want six. One for each Captain of my future TIE Wing. Once I rebuild my squadrons from that unfortunate mission to Bilbringi."

"That would be difficult to arrange. Lord Ren's is the prototype. He may or may not notice an order sent to the shipyards. It depends on how long until General Hux…steps aside."

…

"Captain Radford isn't here right now. But, I can take a message." She studied the face of the young dark-haired man dressed in the uniform of an officer. "No, it's…do you know when he'll return?"

Miura pretended to look thoughtful. "Ah…I believe he has gone to dine with Captain Farady." His face took on an apologetic cast. "Sometimes they take hours to return. I'm terribly sorry. Are you sure you don't want to leave a message?"

Disappointed beyond measure, Jaina gave a negative and walked away from the shuttle. _Back to square one_ , she thought, heading for the turbolift. _For all I know, Leia's been executed or about to be…no. Mustn't think like that_. She chastised her doubtful thoughts. _I would feel it in the Force. Leia's still there_.

She took the lift up to the floor where the apartments were housed. Outside of the set of rooms belonging to the former Rebel Leader, she hesitated and knocked. "General Organa? It's…it's me. Jaina."

 _The woman can sense the Force._

 _She can probably sense me._

Jaina input the code and waited while the door unsealed itself. BB-9e rolled in after her.

"You're very persistent." Leia remarked, looking over the food tray a protocol droid had delivered to her.

"Thanks. I try to be."

"That wasn't a compliment."

Jaina's lips curved into a slight smile. She could start to see where he had gotten his sarcasm from, excepting where it delved into mocking cruelty.

"What…is _that_?"

"Haven't you ever seen sunfruit?" Leia saw the longing look on her face.

"No. I spent most of my life on a Star Destroyer. We were fed protein bars and shakes filled with the appropriate vitamins and nutrients to keep us in optimal health."

"Protein bars…? That takes me back to the Rebel Alliance days." The woman's wistful look vanished. "So you _are_ a pilot."

"Formerly. I just had my flying ban removed." She kept her expression studiously innocent, yet wanted to smile. "I love flying."

"Your name is Jaina?"

"Jaina Ionone. I want to take the last name Jade but it sounds kind of strange." As she talked, her gaze wandered down to the strange fruit slices arranged beside a salad. Everything was so colorful; she couldn't stop looking at it, wondering what it all tasted like. _Certainly nothing like a protein bar I would hope_. BB-9e's photoreceptor eye was roving excitedly over the tray as well, likely trying to identify things from its database.

"It's a last meal of sorts." Leia said drily. "I suspect they think senatorial food takes the sting out of murder."

Jaina hated to say that sounded about right. This was probably similar to what they served the Star Destroyer Captains.

"I warn you, it might be poisoned, but since that isn't the First Order way…would you like some?"

"They always prefer executions to hurt." She said thoughtlessly, coloring. "Sorry!"

"Your candor is refreshing. I seemed to have lost the ability to be surprised by anything."

 _May I?_ She slipped her gloves off, plucking up a wedge of striated fruit.

…

She was with his mother. He shouldn't have been surprised. They were sitting beside a meal eaten not long before. From the look, the former pilot sent him; he could tell that she already knew what he had come for. They had even rearranged the furniture to clear a space. He watched her rise, doffing her cap to place it on the droid's flat-topped head. The droid rolled behind her, positioning itself in front of his mother.

Leia looked between them, seemingly about to protest. She was going to fight him - not to the death. Incapacitate - and then, what? Flee?

"What're you now, a rebel?"

"I could never support the Rebellion or the Resistance. I'm doing this for you since you won't do it for yourself." Jaina calmly slipped into the _Makashi_ stance. She would use Form II despite its weaknesses. He supposed he could indulge her a moment of triumph before he crushed her. Jaina couldn't win. She should've known it was impossible to win. Still, he liked that look in her eyes.

He ignited his light saber and watched her advance toward him. Jaina swept into the opening strike, catching him by surprise as the blow was light. She spun around, her body pivoting gracefully like a dancer to switch into a wide strike parrying his swing. _Shii Cho_. He came at her viciously, breaking her attempted saber lock. Without changing stride, she blocked him at each turn with the tight movements of _Soresu_. He recognized a little of each combat style, almost perfect in her deft hands. There were some moves he was incapable of executing with the sparking shunts of his saber. She knew it too, watching his almost awkward handling. Kylo corrected his grip, the red blade twirled in a brutal curve, cutting the air. Heat waves simmered above the boiling surface.

Jaina watched the smelting swing arcing for her. She gave herself a push upward, tucking her body into a leap and she sprung over him. _Force-assisted acrobatics_. He wasn't fast enough to catch her in the midst of her jump. Instead as he started to turn, she landed, spinning her own blade in a Soresu move meant to disarm.

 _Not again._

He caught her between defenses.

It was over.

…

The duel lasted minutes.

Leia exhaled softly in exasperation. She was an old woman; _didn't they see how ridiculous it was to be fighting over her already?_ She knew she had been a symbol to the Resistance. She had been a lot to many people including Poe; but she was also tired. Jaina wasn't fighting for the altruistic goal of the Resistance. She was fighting for Kylo Ren as she had once fought for the First Order.

They were almost enemies, this woman and her.

"Stop it- both of you."

Jaina stood motionless, his blade almost touching her. It would burn. It would scar. She would bear the mark for the rest of her life the way his shame at losing to Rey, scarred his face. Leia detected anger in him, grudging admiration. He was willing to behead the woman rather than stab her the way he had done to his father. Kylo Ren wasn't known for showing mercy. She had never seen him show mercy to anyone and at the same time was saddened. He hadn't hesitated to murder his father, but he did contemplate slaying the woman.

He didn't love her, but he didn't have boundless hatred for her either.

Leia could see the sliver of her face.

There was no pleading, no begging in the calm eyes. She accepted her death if it came through the quick stab of his saber.

He deactivated the blade.

"It's a waste to kill you."

Yes, so her son was cunning as well. He knew he would be losing a valuable ally. Jaina waited until proximity had lessened before she spun and tossed her saber. Leia watched the arcing blade spinning end over end - she had a second of seeing her life ending - the saber froze. Ben had stopped it automatically, unthinkingly. The woman's black droid chirped an angry stream of blips and whistles.

She did it to prove something to him.

Calmly, Jaina put her own hand out, summoning the hilt to her. The blade deactivated midair, slotting into her grasp. Leia felt her heart rate slowly returning to normal levels. She wasn't sure how much more of this she could take.

"I thought you came to kill her." Jaina fixated a cold stare on him. Ben's hand flexed and returned to his side. He trembled, lips moist from exhalation. "Shut up!" He screamed suddenly in her face. Jaina drew her free hand back and slapped him soundly.

For a moment, she thought it was over. He was going to murder the woman in front of her. Leia felt the near frenzy of his fury chaotically raging within the _Force_ surrounding him. Then, he dragged his eyes to her, to the woman who was coldly rational and unafraid.

"We're running out of time."

…

His face stung.

She hadn't used the Force to enhance her blow. Likely her hand hurt from the open palm outward to the slim fingers. She cupped his sweaty face, her fingertips a light pressure against the lean bone structure.

"You have allies."

"I have none." He hissed, baring his teeth. His mother excused herself out of sight. She needed to regain composure after the last few minutes. The sound of water running broke the quiet. They were alone with the droid. Kylo covered the back of Jaina's hand with his own, his firm grip sliding to her wrist. Such a fragile thing. Remorselessly, he clenched her wrist, trying to break her hold.

"I am on your side. I'll always be on your side."

Kylo dug his fingers into her flesh, his grip a vise around her hand. Surely it must be numb by now. She can't feel anything he thought. She was manipulating him, challenging him then forcing him to acknowledge his own desire to protect Leia. She was…effective.

That was the second time the woman had almost killed his mother. There wasn't going to be a third time. Strangely enough, he wasn't even sure she was reading his thoughts. Jaina stared at him steadily, her Force radiating a calm blue. She was sad, he realized. And tired. The soft buzz of her thoughts was silent; he couldn't feel anything except the steady warmth of her palm pressed hard against his face.

"You're hurting my hand."

"Let go then."

"You're the one who's holding it there."

He flung her hand away from him.

"How long do you have?" Jaina went on as if nothing had ever happened. Kylo felt his mother watching him. How long had Leia been standing there watching the exchange?

"The equivalent of one day."

He wasn't sure.

 _How much time had passed since the meeting? He remembered eating, showering, training. She had disarmed him once…but how long ago had that been?_ Time seemed to disappear whenever she was around. He watched her from the corner of his eye; Jaina had gone and knelt in front of the BB unit, hugging the little droid, who trilled in response, tilting its head against her shoulder.

"I'm sorry I put you in danger." He watched her ridiculous display, talking to the droid like it could be harmed; they could only be rendered non-functional. Then, again, his mother had spoken to C-3PO and R2-D2 similarly. Jaina glanced over her shoulder, her eyes flat and hard. Ah, so she had known what he had thought in a split second - crushing the droid in retaliation. The blue photoreceptor eye tilted to the side as the BB unit observed him. Her look said it all.

 _Always the droid_ , he thought lazily. Understanding the whys and ways she reacted was the first step in knowing what made her tick. Kylo couldn't have said six months ago he was curious about her; she was different, he granted her that much. Her predictability should've started to wear his patience thin yet it hadn't. Her ability to get under his skin remained something he failed to understand. Sometimes, she simply kept him second-guessing her motives.

…

 _You haven't changed._ She had said that thinking of his temper. Ben's small furies, his flashing eyes, the spark that would set off an immediate onslaught of arguments between her and Han ending once Ben was gone for a few months. Then, they could go back to their routine; dinner parties, glittering galas with her constituents in the Senate - Pod-racing for Han and training new pilots in a distant sector. They were too dissimilar to stay together long, their brief time at home marked by argumentive days and passionate nights.

She wasn't wrong. Ben was the same somewhere deep inside. He was picking on her. Leia watched his face, the expression he wore sparking a memory. One of many holocalls during those early years. _Ben, unrepentant, coloring to the roots of his hair._

 _"She called and told me what happened. Ben, do you know what you've done? Aren't you sorry at all?"_

 _He had shrugged; Leia was off world on a relief mission to a planet devastated by a natural disaster. "You only call me when I do something bad." His mutter had been furious, his gaze shifting away from her sudden sigh. She could only wonder if it was his way of getting her attention by acting out. Had he done it on purpose?_

 _"Besides, she didn't have to…," Ben trailed off awkwardly. "I didn't mean…,"_

 _"She was stung all over by Natoth hornets. She was allergic to them, Ben. She could've died and then what would I've told your uncle?"_

 _"Whatever you wanted!" He said suddenly. "Uncle Luke isn't here and neither are you! I told her to just poke the nest and run. It's not my fault she tripped! She's just a dumb little kid!"_

 _Leia had stared wordlessly at the holographic image of her son, still so young, so petulant with his thrust out bottom lip and raging around the room. Ben wasn't sorry. He simply didn't care. "That's it. I want you to come home on the next shuttle."_

 _He had stilled and looked at her hopefully. "Are you coming home too?"_

 _"No, you're going to be punished. No datapad. No going anywhere. I'll have my secretary look in on you." Leia was far too upset with him to feel guilt watching the play of emotions on his face. "In fact, since you dislike going over there so much, you can forget next summer, young man." Even more than his fury, she saw it drain away into white-faced panic. Ben hated it, but didn't want to leave either, not if it meant he was going to be alone again._

I'm sorry, she thought, wishing she could apologize, do whatever it took to rectify her mistakes. He would've rather have been with her than with anyone else. Acting out, throwing fits, showing deliberate cruelty to someone who was much younger…those were all signs she had missed. _What had he done then…? Broken into Luke's study and found a treatise on force healing…Luke had been upset, but said Ben was already showing his future potential. He was such a determined child, wanting to have his own way. How had he convinced Luke to let him stay? To allow him to keep going every summer until-_

They broke stares mutually.

She had been forgotten.

Ben approved of whatever he had seen. Leia could see it in his expression before he resumed the normal indifference. But, Jaina…she could see the hatred radiating from her. The coldness emanated from her inner being, infecting the atmosphere. Leia was reminded unwillingly of the place where Obi-Wan Kenobi had killed Darth Maul, the place had radiated similar coldness from the long ago death of the Sith Lord.

He was turning her into the darkness.

 _He doesn't even know what he's doing, the mistake he's making_. Leia wasn't even sure if the woman would respond to her or anyone living. She had the droid, the droid was important to her, but there seemed to be no one else. Pushing aside thoughts of her own safety, she went and touched the woman's shoulder. A slight resonant pain burned her hand. She thought of touching a frozen knife or blade edge, keen and sharp, bitingly frigid. The coldness slowly abated into nothingness.

 _Don't let him do this to you._

She felt her stiffen slightly.

"You could transport her to another ship and on the way, have an accident and let her get away." Jaina gave no sign of hearing her.

"I'm not going to let her go free."

 _Typical._ She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "My cause as you say is gone. I'm tired of running. Do I want to live? Of course I want to live as much as anyone."

"Pledge allegiance to the First Order. It may work."

Leia pulled away. "I would never do that."

The woman half-turned toward her, rolling her eyes. "I knew you would say that. I just thought I'd put it out there. Appeasing their suspicions is the main thing. The First Order is not Palpatine's Empire. The Empire executed Rebels."

Leia tried to keep her expression neutral. It was impossible not to remember the names and faces that went along with _failed raids and_ …,

"Kylo Ren can use that to his advantage."

What happened to _we_ \- from the glance her son sent the former pilot, she thought there was something unspoken there. Something had opened up between them.

"If he can take amnesty to the table by playing on their ideals there is a chance to get the execution order removed."

"They would order her sent to a prison colony and simply send an assassin from the inside."

Jaina bit her lip, worrying it to pieces. "I suppose so. But, then what do you suggest?" She was becoming frustrated and worried. "You can't have them executed on some trumped up charge of treason or because you don't like them."

"You're only speaking of it out of concern for your ex commander." Ben said dismissively.

"Commander Duma is a good man. He's loyal despite everything." Jaina protested. "He doesn't deserve to be murdered with all the rest."

"Why? Because you think he might be your father?"

The color had drained from her face. Leia grabbed the woman by the arm before she could think better of it. She wasn't sure who they were talking about. There were so many officers from the Empire who had been part of the First Order and yet, from the look on Jaina's face, that startled almost horrified look - it was clear that Ben had hit upon a particular truth she had been suspecting.

"I didn't see it in your mind. I thought so too seeing as how much he took care of you…no. There must be some other reason." Ben studied them both, "not that it matters. Whether I choose to kill him or not is entirely out of your hands. Even if he was your father, I wouldn't hesitate."

"I know…you're just like your master." The sadness in her tone was unmistakable now. "Snoke never hesitated either."

…

V'lane waited across the apartment suite in the gloom. He hadn't dared turn on any of the functions of the luxury room he had let himself into. He waited in silence, leaning against the wall, occasionally shifting position in case of attack. The Defender-5 was never far from his hand, although he doubted against Kylo Ren, there was hope of victory. _The man had survived a bolt from a Wookiee bowcaster if reports were to be believed…,_

 _Shah-tezh...I learned from the best_.

He input the code he had scanned from the dark-haired woman's visit, watching as the light flashed green for reentry. V'lane glanced up and down the stretch of corridor before trying the panel; the mismatched pair had left sometime before. He stepped in quickly, aiming the pistol to the floor. The room he found himself in was similar to the others on the level, tastefully furnished in moderate light colors. Those hadn't had the faint burnt trace of ozone and scorch marks decorating the carpet.

"Princess Leia." V'lane said as the older woman turned toward him. Leia's eyes dropped to the blaster pistol and she straightened with dignity. "An assassination attempt? Surely I warrant a firing squad."

"Actually, no." He put on his best charming smile which was difficult since he was trying to doff his hat and listen for returning footsteps. _With force users, a normal fellow never knew their habits or minds._ "I'm here to rescue you."

She nodded which was good. She was playing it all very calmly like he had expected of royalty. "Now where have I heard this all before? A dashing young man-"

" _Well_ ," he blustered, embarrassed. "I try to be-"

"-no conceivable way off the ship."

"I have my Blackhawk! It's as fast as a Lambda-class shuttle!"

"-all to rescue me. That was a nice story once." Leia shook her head and made her way to the lounger. She had no doubt that her son would murder this man in a heartbeat despite his uniform denoting his ranking as Captain. Likely he had stolen it from somewhere as he looked like no officer she had ever seen. "But, I'm not interested."

V'lane deflated; he had been proud of his hastily scrapped together plan, knowing his men would hold the ship for a jump to light speed from the hangar. His head had always been full of derring-do stories about Kessel Runs and escaping space slugs and dangerous, beautiful women like Mara Jade and Princess Leia of course.

"But, why?"

She sighed, tired of the whole day. Her son and a former pilot had been fighting over her, add to the mix some hotshot with a pistol and no plan…it was too much. "Who are you?" She asked instead. "Wait. No names. I don't want them to know about you. The least said the better."

V'lane recognized the wisdom of it, advancing slowly away from the door, his stance recognizable as a shooter's. "I met you as a boy during the celebration held when Kashyyyk was liberated. Liberation Day festivities were being held on Chandrila that same day."

"So you're a Rebel."

"With all due respect, your Highness, I am an Imperial."

…

 _Snoke_.

In the 'fresher attached to his quarters, he splashed water on his face. Droplets rolled down the edge of his cheek, clinging to the edges of the scar. He raised his head, observing the reflection he made in the glass above the sink. He had hated that look on her face, it didn't belong there. The sorrow in it was for him, wasn't it? Unless she had seen something when facing Snoke. Others he had killed? Echoes of them…it was possible. But, no, she was looking at him when she said it; why would she think of the long-dead shades murdered by Snoke? She had meant it for him.

He wasn't Snoke.

In the mirror, he imagined the face she had showed him and drew back his fist, force-punching the glass. Fine cracks erupted, splintering his true face into a distorted image of narrowed hazel eyes, his nose and parted mouth. He punched the glass repeatedly until the fragments burst outward, spattering the sink with shattered glass. Jagged pieces dotted the interior frame. Kylo stared at the wall, then down to his hand. His knuckles were scarcely bruised. _"You're hurting yourself."_ Her voice drifted through his mind. He clenched his hand into a fist. Thoughts of her weren't going to stop him. He had gone on rampages before through his own quarters, destroying the furniture, wrecking the console unit. He had been young and full of anger at whatever lesson he had failed, furious with whatever criticism Snoke had doled out.

Then, the few times he had been punished and left without a place to sleep…he had begun taking his frustrations out on equipment, on officers once he grew older and more certain of his position as apprentice. Now, there was no one and nothing to stop him. _"Don't do this."_ An incoherent snarl left his lips. The woman wouldn't cease tormenting him. Kylo snatched a towel from the cabinet beside the shower stall. Drying his face, he walked back into his room, depositing the towel beside his clothing. Something small and light colored fell to the floor. He stopped to consider the small pile of bandages she had wound around his hand.

 _"I didn't come all this way to play nursemaid."_

No, she got involved in saving his mother from execution.

Kylo bent and picked up the bandages, the moment his fingers closed on them he remembered her hesitation. She had stopped as if reminded by something or someone. It wasn't until later he realized he could've taken advantage of her abstraction and forced his way into her mind. He could've seen her memories and feelings … _yet she wouldn't have trusted him again_. The thought was tempting for a reason beyond the passive need to ascertain her loyalties. He already knew where those lied. _"I'll always be on your side." What was she doing - she was touching his face - the place where she had hit him. She was going to apologize. He was the one holding her hand to his face, pressing her palm to his cheek-_

Ridiculous. He left the bandages on the table beside his saber hilt. His thoughts lacked some of his accustomed venom. He recognized it less as a weakness and more of an associative sense. The woman had surpassed his assumptions with her saber skills, her force control was strong. They had been on the floor twice in live combat with different end results. Jaina had made his blood boil, caused him to instinctively react on the floor as if he were facing his deadliest foe. Once this nonsense with his mother was over and done with, he could look forward to furthering her training, satisfying his hunger for more of her.

…

BB-9e's translator provided a rough approximation of her words. Jaina sat back, exhausted in body, but not in mind. "Why is Shyriiwook so difficult to learn? Other than it being growls and howls…okay. Don't answer that." The droid beeped reminding her of the time. "I should be sleeping, but I'm not sleepy. The most obvious ways to stay Leia's execution are off the table." She sat back cross-legged on the cot. "There is no one else…I mean I thought of suggesting Captain Radford, but Kylo wouldn't hear me. He thinks he is completely alone in his own private world. He doesn't see or hear anyone around him." She still hadn't resolved her feelings on the general. "And then, there's Hux. Hux hates Leia with a passion. He hates her almost as much as he hated his father."

 _They sent someone to retrieve him and his father when Arkanis was besieged._ "I can understand how he would despise the New Republic for destroying his childhood. He blames Leia for a lot of the losses they suffered. I don't…hate him." She set aside her datapad with the Huttese alphabet. "The Empire made Brendol and then their legacy created Armitage. Kylo fits into the cracks, in his own mistakes and desire for power. I…pity them both, but I can't save them." As she leaned against the wall, the distant hum of the Star Dreadnought's engines became a faint thrum. Kylo had touched on one of her secret thoughts, even so knowing that it wasn't true. She had thought for a fleeting moment that her secret, her Jedi training, had somehow been exposed. But, she had been wrong. Kylo had been purposefully blunt, truthful to the extent she expected. She had felt such mixed relief with an equal amount of sadness that he hadn't detected anything out of the norm. Kylo reminded her of Snoke, uncaring of the bodies he felled, the lives he destroyed, no longer thinking of consequences.

"I _was_ hoping he was my father."

The droid trilled mournfully.

"But, Maz Kanata said whoever he was, abandoned us and that isn't what Gaius did. She knows who my father is, but the truth was buried inside her I would've had to have ripped the knowledge from her mind through torture." Jaina curled her hands loosely in her lap. "I couldn't do that. Not to someone who had saved my life." _Saving people_ …the thought had triggered a memory.

 _"He made us strong…we believed we were invincible."_

Jaina swung her feet off the cot, bounding upward. BB-9e had slotted itself beside the narrow bed, retracting its plug from the charger.

"It was all propaganda. Just like the Empire…after years of slaughter and bloodshed from the Clone Wars, the galaxy accepted Palpatine's rule. But, that doesn't…yes…don't you see?" She clapped her hands excitedly. "All they have to be convinced of is Leia's renouncing of the Resistance. There's only five or six men in that room who need to believe it and then why would they turn on an ally?" She grabbed the pair of slacks from the foot of the bed, hurriedly stepping into them.

The droid expressed doubt, following her to the door.

"I know she refused to pledge allegiance to Kylo, but she doesn't have to- oh, come on." Jaina paused long enough to push her feet into her boots before she took the quickest route up to the apartment level of the starship.

…

The panel keypad lit green.

Leia had tucked the floor-length robe around herself, glad that the Imperial officer had managed to slip away before her return. Jaina had hastily thrown on clothing, her throat a little hoarse-sounding when she spoke. "I have a plan." Then, she had outlined something so incredibly ludicrous Leia had almost laughed. She had stopped because the woman had put much thought into it. She didn't want to say that Luke charging into the Death Star's prison to save her had been worse and potentially more suicidal.

"You're crazy. It's never going to work." She hesitated; oh, to be young again, to have an Imperial officer on the side of the Rebellion and belief like _her_.

"Leia, _no_ , listen."

"No, I want _you_ to listen." She laid her hands on the woman's thin shoulders. She could see the fire in her eyes, she was bright, but she was also passionate about her beliefs. Leia gently guided her over to the lounger. "I want you to stop. You're young; you have your whole life ahead of you. The First Order, the Resistance…it's time to let it go. I've accepted it. Someone else will rise and the spark will be ignited." She didn't want to admit she had some hopes the woman was the spark. Such strength and determination could bring about real change, not someone old. She sighed and saw her pain reflected in the woman's eyes, transferred through touch. She somehow knew the words the former pilot was going to say, almost hearing herself saying them many times when all seemed bleak.

"Somebody told me that hope is like the sun. If you only believe in it while you can see it then you'll never last through the night." Jaina looked into her face earnestly. "Just because we can't see any hope doesn't mean there isn't any. We cannot always see the light either, but it's still there somewhere in the galaxy even without the Jedi Order. I don't want to save Kylo. I wouldn't know how or where to begin, but I do know that I'm fighting for something bigger than me…and you are part of it."

-TBC

AN: Yes! It has happened! There is a trailer for this story! Instead of working on my math homework, I put it together last Sunday. Personally, I almost chose a different song (Lorde's Everybody wants to rule the world cover) but, the video got too long so I changed it out for a cover of Duran Duran's "Ordinary World" the theme song from The Evil Within II. It has such a dark thematic sound with a touch of innocence. Thanks for reading! I'm not sure if the video link will show up on my fanfiction profile, but you can find the video on Vimeo if you type in the searchbox _yumegirl91_ the video will show up on my profile :-)

No flames!

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	5. Chapter 5

"What do you want out of this?"

Moments after she had recited the words Luke had spoken to her, confusion gripped her. _When did it turn into being about her?_ Even BB-9e, who sat between them on the floor, had suggested she was motivated for selfish reasons.

What _do_ I want?

No one had ever asked before what she wanted. Whether she wanted to go out on patrol in the early part of a routine day broken up into 00 hours, whether she wanted solid, real food or a protein bar. Her clothing was the same, the regulation shirt and pants. No one had ever asked her if she wanted to be a Jedi Knight or a Knight of Ren. They said she needed to be trained, _but why? Because she was the last of a legendary bloodline?_

"I-I don't know." She said embarrassed. "I've never thought about it like that."

"It has something to do with my son." Leia's look turned knowing. Jaina stood up abruptly. _Was it something she had done to betray her feelings? Or had Kylo gone and said something?_ She doubted that was the case. Leia and he were still at odds with one another.

"I'm not here to censure your choices." Leia could see the unease in her expression. "There was a time when I too thought I was falling for the wrong man. He was brash and impulsive, a scoundrel. He wasn't the proper sort at all. We used to argue so much over the silliest things." She smiled thinking of the Death Star, Hoth, so many places. "But, I married him and we had a child." Her reminiscence became a sigh. "I wish you could've known Ben, not what he is now."

As she had spoken, Jaina had gradually come to the conclusion that she had to share what she had seen so Leia would understand why they had to act. _I'll say it again and keep saying it until they finally understand how I feel._ "I didn't know Ben Solo or what kind of person he was. When I look at Kylo Ren, I see him for who he is, not what he was."

 _That's what I want to keep_. _That violent child-like man_ _who hurts me_ _and reminds me every day what I'm fighting for._

"That's what they all saw, Rey, Luke and you. You think of him as Ben Solo when he doesn't want to be Ben Solo anymore."

"Kylo Ren isn't my son."

"You're wrong." _You're still wrong. You'll always be wrong_. She wanted to scream in frustration, _but that wasn't proper padawan behavior_. "Let me tell you…I saw something." She had a hard time putting the image to words. "Just a flash, but it was clear and solid. She didn't have to describe her vision to Leia. "It was the future." The woman understood the sadness in her eyes. "Kylo Ren is _not_ gone. He could be…so much worse. So you see…I have to do everything I can to prevent that future from coming true." She saw pity in Organa's look, she saw sympathy. "I think for now, that's all I can ask for."

…

"Really. Who sleeps shirtless aboard a starship?"

The droid pointed out the obvious in binary while they waited in the hallway.

/he does/

"I know he does! But, still…," _the nerve, suggesting that there wasn't any reason why I couldn't stand there and explain my plan with that in front of me_. She rolled her eyes to the ceiling, tapping her foot impatiently. "Are you done yet?" _I know he doesn't see anything wrong with walking around like that in his room. But, that doesn't mean he isn't distracting enough_ \- she had to stop her line of thinking.

/some people like to sleep with no clothing/ The droid responded cheekily, head rotating as something caught its attention.

"Maybe I should start sleeping naked. Or at least topless, that sounds comfortable actually." She muttered, sensing someone's stare boring into her. "How long does it take for you to…put on a shirt? Oh." She colored some; _how much had he heard?_ Kylo's hair looked sleep-tousled; he had dressed in the clothing he had worn before. She could almost say she remembered the crease in his tunic.

Curtly, he gestured for her to enter his room. BB-9e peered around her legs, taking the hint to stay out. Jaina shrugged uncomfortably. "Okay, if you say so." She walked past him into the room. Kylo closed it behind them, the snap belying the tension in his body.

"Don't make this a habit."

"I don't want to do this either." _Sounds like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed_ , she thought uncharitably, stinging from the cold look he sent her. "Being in your room doesn't really do anything for me." _It's not like I expect you to fall at my feet in gratitude or even say thank you._ "The plan…," she felt the aggravation through the Force. Maybe this wasn't going to work if he was getting angry just by her standing there. _Or maybe he needed to be slapped again._

"The plan is Leia will renounce the Resistance."

"She won't." The indifferent look had returned.

"She has already agreed that it is the best course of action available to all involved." Jaina said with a slight trace of smugness in her tone. Her eyes met his and she smiled. "Once recorded with suitable props, you're going to present it to the First Order Captains who attended. It'll make them seem special… _because_ they came in person. The others will have to make do with some kind of announcement."

"That doesn't make sense. They'll say she must do it in person. They won't believe her - her whole life -" Kylo's voice rose into a shout. "She has rebelled against order and brought chaos to the galaxy! I can't-"

"What?" Jaina remained calm, calm like the eye of the storm. She knew she was at the center of his turmoil and sudden boiling conflict. Kylo stared at her. "What is it you can't believe?"

But, he shook his head, refusing to give voice to his thoughts.

"I'll tell you why you're doing this. You love her; you still love her and need her."

"I don't need anyone!" He could rage about the room, furiously destroying his quarters and she would stay there, the center of the storm. He couldn't break her implacable calm and it infuriated him to no end. Then, little by little, despite the hate-filled looks, he felt his simmering emotions die down. Somewhere between the passage of night and the early hours displayed on his wrist comm, he had begun to accept the sincerity of her words. She had already known what was inside his head before he had sputtered to a stop.

"Who else knows how Soramar died?"

 _Saskia. Duma. Hux_. The latter was a guess. Her blue eyes were suddenly sharper. _Us_. The thought escaped his control. _We know_. "You and I."

"You're going to use his death as proof that the rebels had infiltrated the First Order. Hence the reason why Leia's turning must be kept quiet and if General Hux or any of the Captains raises objections to what you know to be true, then that is treason." Rather satisfied with her plan, a cocky smile played on her lips.

"It isn't going to work." His gaze roved over her face, over the slight dip in her smile. Under his scrutiny, she faltered, the slightest bit of agitation rippled across her expression. "The only thing separating them from tearing me apart is the _Force_."

 _It's the fear I command, not trust and belief_.

"I am your ally. The _Force_ is your ally. You don't have to be alone." She said, crossing the space between them. "If you can't believe in me," Jaina reached for his hand, catching it between her own. "Trust in the _Force_."

…

 _I'm not sure what I'm doing right now_.

Reconsidering wasn't an option, BB-9e beeped about the likelihood of her plan working was almost nil.

"I'm willing to accept those odds." Jaina said, rifling through the racks of clothing. "While you were dozing earlier, I took the liberty of going through the itemized lists of apparel approved for Saskia. We're close to the same height, however I'm much thinner than her and not quite so...," the droid looked at her. "You know, well-endowed. _Petite_ is the word for it. Thanks to your hack in the system, I put in an order to the replicator." The smooth fabric met her fingertips. She held the garment to her body. "It was in Kanata's memory. The way she looked, that quiet power she possessed. I was glad to be able to see her living in those memories." _But, I was also saddened_."She was a murderer. Kanata despised her enough to want us both dead." Jaina gathered up the clothing, folding it within a knapsack.

I didn't want to believe it.

"It's terrible to know that the person who gave you life, also _took_ the lives of many others."

They rode the turbolift back up to the floor where the apartments were located.

"I need a few minutes." She said, letting herself in.

"Are you sure you want to go through with this?" Leia asked, her gown simple in style yet elegant in the full skirt and tailored sleeves ending in a scalloped edge. "Jaina-"

"I'll be fine. It's silly really to be so upset. These clothes." She hugged them to her chest. "When I put them on...and look in the mirror. I'm not sure if I'm going to see myself or my mother."

"I am sorry for that."

She nodded slightly. "I know you are. I can feel how sorry for the First Order's rise, for not stopping it with your spies and your intel. I know that deep down you want to escape and somehow rebuild your Rebellion."

"I can't hide anything from you. So why try?"

Jaina moved closer to her. "The Rebellion isn't hope, Leia, not to me."

"That's because you're still holding onto their beliefs. You don't remember what it's like to live in a galaxy free of tyranny."

She accepted the woman's opinion. She wasn't going to be able to change Leia's mind. Accepting the First Order's flaws and murderous past didn't absolve them in the future. "I _saved_ Luke, Leia. But, not because he was a symbol of hope to the galaxy."

...

Her expression hardly changed when he walked into the room. The droid was plugged into the wall near the bed, charging its interior battery. Kylo hardly spared his mother a glance; his gaze went immediately to the former pilot, to the smooth expanse of black material encasing her body from the sloping mounds of her breasts to her slim hips wrapped in intricate belts.

"Adequate." He allowed the word to breach his impassive façade. But, it was more than what he said. Jaina couldn't stop looking at him from the breadth of his shoulders to the drape of the cloth embroidered in red detail down the front from the rounded collar. The tunic ended below the waist over trousers, cut to past the knee. They could hardly take their eyes off of each other. Her lips curved into a slight smile.

"Why?"

"This is similar to what the _Emperor's Hand_ wore. Peavey, Duma and Karajan will recognize it as a way of saying you're _Emperor_ without declaring it so. Sometimes the power in symbolism speaks volumes for your image."

His gaze drifted to the waist he could almost hold in the span of his hands. His stomach tightened, something fluttered inside, _nervousness_. Kylo was sure she could feel the small jitters and spikes in the Force. She stirred a strange conflict of feeling in him, the same as Rey but somehow more. It was all over if this…plan failed. _Look at me_ , her eyes demanded. Somehow he dragged his gaze away from the curve of her hip. "It's going to work." He could hear the confident lilt in her softly accented voice. Her belief was stronger than anything else she might've felt yet she was still armed.

The blaster was a polished black model from the armory strapped to her left thigh.

"No light saber." He commented, internally struggling to rein in his emotions.

"No. Emperor Palpatine never carried one. I'll carry yours."

They observed one another and he assented with slight hesitation. The saber was part of him; it had rarely left his side. Yet as he watched her fasten it to her right hip, the black crossguard rested flush to her thigh he could've said it belonged to her.

"You want to make a statement, Kylo." She faced him, her lips curved into a soft frown. Her boldness surprised him when she reached out and plucked a stray hair from his shoulder. "Without resorting to violence…you can prove you are different than the Empire. If…," she bit her lip, searching for the words. The white flash of her teeth sinking into pale pink - _distractions_ , he reminded himself, flushed and excited at the same time.

"If it comes to that road. I have your back."

He was starting to believe her little bit by little bit. She had put so much thought into her plan; she had even found a red dress and heavy outer cloak for his mother to wear. White was the color Leia had worn as a princess defying the Empire. Dark somber colors for her flight with the Resistance. Red was passion, the color of blood and life. Leia met his look with one of her own. There was defiance in the glance, but an element of tenderness remained.

 _Ah, so mother has found it in her heart to forgive the slaughter of her cause_. _How typical_. He hadn't truly expected her anger at him to remain.

Across the room, the droid detached from the wall outlet. Jaina took up the heavy helmet, the black metal and silver detail framed a mouthless mask, the visor was narrow, the slightest hint of facial sculpture molded the mask into a blank-featured canvas. Kylo thought it passably safe to look at her again, _feast his gaze on the dark side warrior she could become_.

"Are you ready?"

"Since you and my son seem hell-bent on preserving me, I suppose this is as good a moment as any." Ah. So he was her son again. A touch of irony came through Leia's voice. "Just don't seal me in carbonite for future generations."

Kylo saw the fleeting smile.

"Okay, but no promises."

…

 _You're going to call them to assemble_.

Amaral and Radford left the kirgatz board on the Nabooan shuttle. "Fantastic timing! Right when I was going to make my Crimson Rush!" Amaral tossed the wooden tiles on the board. The other chuckled darkly. "Oh, it's not so bad. We can continue after dinner. There's nothing like a little bloodshed to wet one's appetite."

 _Don't be waiting on them. They're waiting on you_.

Peavey and Duma were sitting in the officers' lounge, reminiscing over whiskey. "Lord Ren's personal code. So, it's finally going to happen."

 _Same place. Same men. Different alignment. Serotte and Farady. Radford and Amaral. Peavey, Duma and Karajan. General Hux on your left side_.

"I'm going with you."

The droid rolled forward to follow them out.

"No, BB-9e, you stay with Leia."

"I don't need you there."

"You can't do what I can do." Jaina insisted with a shrug. "Your dark side abilities are stronger than mine at the moment, but that doesn't matter."

"What…you think I need you there as support?" The helmet hid her face. He would've liked to have seen her expression then, the look on her face. Without being able to pry at her mind with ease, he had begun to rely on her facial expressions, guessing whatever she was thinking. With the helmet, he could only rely on her answer.

"You really are clueless." The modulator distorted her voice into a soft growl. "I'm not wearing this for play. I'm not doing it for any other reason than to complete the objective." She crossed her arms over her chest. "If you want to debate what you want and don't want, we can stand here all day wasting time. I can stay here and you can see what you accomplish on your own."

 _On my own? She was throwing his words back at him_.

That sounded like a threat. One she was willing to back up. "Or…you can see what I can do."

 _It's your choice._

He had a choice.

She was giving him everything she could to make her ridiculous plan work. _Alright_. He nodded slightly. "What're you going to do?"

"They'll feel something. Because of General Hux, I know what I can do now."

…

The droid looked at her, small and round, she was reminded of Poe's BB unit. The droid that had carried so many hopes across Jakku, into the stars. She thought of Poe Dameron, inevitably her thoughts spiraling down into the last memory she had of those brave people.

 _"We fought to the end, but the galaxy has lost its hope." She had hesitated, thinking of the desperate battles they had fought, for the speeches she had given to give them strength and courage to keep fighting. But, there was nothing and - they deserved better than to keep searching for hope when there was none. The spark is out, she had thought those words and then - the transmission screen registered a faint yet undeniable bleep._

 _"Someone has…sent us a reply." Connix said stunned. She had turned from the ancient computer console, seeing the shock on the faces of the few that were left. "I don't know who it is…but they're coming."_

 _She had held out hopes for Inferno Squad, for Luke with Jedi Battleships. But, it was only one ship._

 _It's all too late._

 _She had thought of the mine gutted open, the haggard-faced people surrounding her. Someone had needed to buy them time to escape. It wasn't the galaxy responding to Leia Organa's plea; it was one ship who was on their way, someone who was crazy enough to still believe in the spark._

 _And now she was here, waiting for the enemy to return_. She looked at the droid whose round eye was a solid blue. The droid was scuffed, dented, had sealed vents on its sides striated with compartmented lines. The BB unit had a personality likely the result of tinkering with its programming.

"How long have you been with that girl?"

The droid tilted its head in a gesture of curiosity, the magnetic casters allowed the flat bottom to roll along the spherical body. The BB unit beeped in reply.

"Since the Battle of Hosnian Prime." She should've known. That had been years before. The Republic had begun funding the Resistance after the First Order's unveiling of its plan for galactic domination. _Those were the early days,_ she thought, when everyone had still thought there was a chance of Luke turning the tide. "You've seen quite a bit, haven't you? Reminds me of BB-8." She chuckled when the droid rolled closer, beeping proudly about the high success rates of the missions they had gone on, the pilot and the droid. The beeps didn't detail everything, droids were only droids who had artificial minds and couldn't know how much it hurt.

/Rebel scum/

 _All those people she killed_.

"I think Luke would've liked you otherwise." Leia tried to find a reassuring smile.

…

BB-9e understood pride was an organic life form's emotion. Still, the droid analyzed Organa's statement. Skywalker…the galaxy's living legend hadn't seemed like much, but the droid assumed he had been different once. BB-9e's audio sensors scanned for approaching sound, catching nothing amiss, once it had ascertained silence, the droid was emboldened enough to roll closer, projecting onto the floor. The former pilot had seemed to say that Organa had lost her hope; maybe she needed to be reminded of Skywalker to have hope again. The droid calculated the odds as being very high its algorithms were correct.

 _The cockpit was in shadow; Skywalker was in view as well as the pilot who had half-turned in her seat._

 _"What do you want from me?"_

 _"Answers."_

Organa leaned closer, astonished.

 _"Someone close to me gave me this pendant." The pilot tugged the cord from around her neck. "It's a kyber crystal or was…from a light saber. She told me that when it was reunited with its other half, it would produce a red blade."_

 _Skywalker in the recording had taken the crystal fragment. "This crystal belonged to a Sith Lord."_

Organa studied the aged face of her brother; she hadn't seen him in years. Yet, perplexity crossed her face as the conversation continued.

 _"Why did you have the other half?"_

"Wait." Organa put her hand out. "Please go back." The blue glow of the hologram bathed her face, reflecting in her startled eyes. BB-9e's audio sensors picked up on the catch in her voice, the slight tremble of emotion. The image rewound seamlessly into a flurry of images cycling backward through the space of a few minutes of recorded conversation. Organa touched the droid's bent head. "There! Stop." The image froze on the pilot holding out the kyber crystal pendant.

"It can't _be_."

…

She had gone through every possible reason the woman had the broken crystal. None of it made any sense. Leia always thought better when in motion. The droid observed her from its station by the lounger. Inner peace destroyed, she half-thought of reaching out for Luke. She had known he was alive somewhere, his light reflecting across the galaxy. She had been angry at some point in the years since Ben had gone into Snoke's tutelage. Luke had lost him to his own mistakes, he had been partially responsible for creating a monster. _But, now she saw hesitation in him_. Fragments of his old self, the bad and maybe a little of the good. He had saved her because he didn't hate her deep down. _Jaina almost killed me twice_ , she thought. _The woman had done so without hesitation, nothing but her end goal in sight._

 _That mercilessness reminded her chillingly of Darth Vader_.

At length, she became aware of the keypanel flashing green.

They had returned.

She buried her suspicions down far into the place where Ben wouldn't touch them. he wouldn't think to find them there. She struggled to compose herself as they walked in, her gaze unavoidably drawn to the woman's face. "Well?"

The woman nodded. "I-It's done. Armitage was the same. I didn't expect anything else from him." The droid rolled to greet her. She bent to rub its sides, the helmet tucked under her arm. Leia felt some surprise; _they were on first name basis?_ Seemingly unaware of the looks sent her way, Jaina glanced over her shoulder. "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable."

 _Oh, sweetheart, you shouldn't tell a man that_.

"She needs a mother." Leia commented when the door to the 'fresher closed. _She needs more than you_.

Ben seemed to not care one way or another. He was looking at the door she had disappeared into. "Her mother is dead, your cause killed her."

 _Here we go again, playing the blame game_. Leia thought to remind him it was the First Order's task force that had driven them into desperate measures. She could be as fiery as she had once been, but somehow she didn't want to argue at the moment. "Ben." His gaze swiveled to her sharply. "I know you don't like being told what to do, but please take care of her. If you don't want to do that much for her then let her go." Those angry eyes stared hard into hers, she could almost imagine his thought process, simmering conflict as he churned over her advice, trying to figure out if she was manipulating him.

The door opened; Ben's gaze slid away from her as if no longer interested in what she had to say.

...

"What is it you want?"

They stood side by side, half-turned toward the other. Jaina said nothing, observing him with a silent look of detached curiosity. Then, she understood gradually. "I don't want anything from you. No reward, no prize."

"You must want something." _Everyone wanted something whether it was power and authority or monetary wealth, ships, position. Amaral's Executrix would eventually require someone posted there and with further training, that place could be hers if she didn't stay with him on the Ravager._

"A new droid?"

The battered BB unit's head swiveled to him, alarmed.

"Are you trying to be funny?" Jaina's gaze was cold. He could derive no warmth from her force signature, only coldness. She wasn't happy nor relieved. He had sensed the change in her and thought she was still stinging from his remarks the night before. "You saved my life, I saved hers." Her glance slanted to the third person in the room. "We're even, Kylo Ren. I don't owe you, you don't owe me." She pushed past him into the hallway. The droid rolled after her silently.

That isn't how this works.

Before he could understand his motives, he went after her. A few steps from the open door, he caught her wrist. "We're not finished." She turned back toward him, her eyes flashing. _Yes, there was that fire he liked to see_. The coldness thawed in her _Force signature_. Kylo caught at her free hand, their fingertips brushing one another as he gained a better hold, wrenching her right wrist aside. She grunted in pain, her glare hot enough to burn. Anyone else would've released her, recognized the dangerous precipice tread with that look.

But, there was something else in those eyes. She loved how roughly he pulled her back, how his hand slotted around her wrist, encasing it completely in his grasp. "We're not even. We're not done until I say we're done."

"Don't you know it's a woman's place to tell a man when to stop? I am not your apprentice and you are not my Master." She was in his face as he had been in hers, spitting those words out. The _Force_ was thick with tension. He could feel his breaths coming short and fast. He couldn't draw in enough of her scent, the electrical taint of her dark side power. Kylo had the exhilarating sense of something beginning. Something beyond their intertwined destiny as master and apprentice - she wasn't his equal, _not yet_. There was time…they had years to expand her knowledge of the _Force_ as it was she sparked and burned in his conscious mind, eager and hungry for him.

"That position is already taken."

"What do you think this is?" He wasn't letting her go without answering.

"I don't know, Kylo." They were so close now he could see nothing but her. Her face swam in and out of focus; her parted lips drew in his exhaled breath, sending him over the edge. "Maybe you should learn to say thank you every once in a while?" _Or_ …he could see her thought surfacing as her gaze dropped to his mouth longingly… _you can show me how thankful you are with those lips_.

Before he could come up with a suitable reply, the BB unit rotated around them, electroprod extended to maximum charge. He released her with a start; his right leg smarting from the instant burn. Kylo furiously aimed a kick at the round black and silver body. The droid rolled around her legs quickly, hiding.

"Goodnight, Kylo." She licked her lips deliberately- _a nasty curse word in Huttese came to his mind_. "Pleasant dreams."

…

"What're you looking at?!" He demanded roughly, turning to glare at his mother who had been observing them from inside the room.

"Maybe you could be gentler, that way you won't get shocked next time." She remarked drily. "Besides, you don't have to sweep her off her feet like your father did to me. That girl is already yours."

"I don't want to hear it!" Punctuating his shout, the door slammed with a reverberating _thud_ , the lock engaging. Kylo breathed hard, his hands clenching into fists. Those few seconds he had almost given into madness. _What had he been thinking?_ Giving in was the same as surrendering to weak human emotion - _the same as becoming Ben Solo_ \- no one was going to dominate him. No one was going to bring him down to those pitiful levels again. _Killing her, his initial thought. Letting her go…wasn't an option anymore._

…

Jaina and BB-9e stood in the turbolift descending levels down to the main hangar. The BB unit's head kept swiveling to her to see if she was angry. Finally unable to process the silence, a few tentative beeps issued forth.

/he was going to bite you/

The droid had come to that conclusion by evaluating heart-rate levels and bodily temperatures that pointed to obvious signs of excitement and aggression. Not to mention, that hungry look on his face. The droid didn't think humans devoured one another, but maybe Ren was the exception.

"It's called a _kiss_ , BB-9e." She said bemused, rubbing her wrists. "Although, I think to Kylo those are one in the same."

The crew was preparing for take-off when she returned to the shuttle. "It'll be good to get back." She muttered, stretching her arms up over her head. "I'm tired of being here." _Captain Amaral was mostly right about the droid cleaners getting in the way, the terrible food being served_ , but she was lying to herself even just a little bit. She missed being on the same ship as him. Every time she thought about leaving the Tarkin's routine, flying to the Ravager's position, she felt a little of the old thrill. The familiar excitement that flying a space superiority fighter on mission brought; a few moments, his undivided attention, that mixture of pride and conflict she could feel through the Force - was about her.

 _I still have one thing left to do_.

She retreated to the escape pod located in the rear of the ship, waiting for the familiar shifting in the craft as they entered light speed. With BB-9e guarding the entrance ready to electrocute anyone coming to look for her, she tried meditating. It was more difficult than ever to release her emotions through the Force.

 _He wanted to kiss her._

Jaina felt giddy and lightheaded thinking of it. Happiness bubbled up, brightening her inner energy. _Focus_ , she reprimanded her mind. _Focus on Luke_. She struggled for a few minutes to center herself, finally when she closed her eyes, she could see starlight.

" _Luke."_ She had the sense the Jedi Master was looking at the stars through a viewport. He was alone unlike the last time she had spoken to him. _"Leia's safe for now."_

" _What does for now mean? That gives me a bad feeling."_

" _It's a figure of speech. Kylo will protect her."_

" _What did you do?"_

 _I didn't do anything other than almost kill her with a light saber throw,_ she thought, but didn't add. Jaina somehow doubted Luke would take it well that she had narrowly killed his sister to see if Kylo would move to save her. Jaina hadn't been entirely certain she could've stopped the saber in the event that he hadn't. _"I made him realize he couldn't let her go."_ She said slowly. _"I lost my mother to Leia's cause, but I couldn't let the same thing happen to them."_

…

 _You don't know how much that hurts to remember_ , Luke thought, feeling her retreat through the _Force_. The brutality of war had never ceased to astound him. It was easier to forget that the bucket-heads were humans, that no matter what, peace came with a price. _Ben Solo unable to let go of his mother; would wonders never cease?_ Luke recognized his bitterness as doubt. He doubted Ben's intentions. They were never what they seemed to be and yet...Jaina was aware of them and believed in him. Or was she blinded to his true intentions? Luke decided not to delve too deeply into that troubling thought. It was impossible to think she wouldn't know them. _Ben couldn't hide them from her even if he tried. Maker knows I used to try and failed_ , he thought, leaving his quarters.

Luke stopped an officer on the sky bridge. "Where can I find Captain Fel?"

"Oh, ah…he's overseeing preparations. I can send him a message if it's urgent."

"Please do." He had considered waiting, but since Leia concerned a greater part of the meeting's agenda, Luke thought he should tell him what had happened.

…

"What are those, sir?"

"Credits I won from Amaral. The man never learns." Radford locked the safe, straightening as the shuttle floor vibrated beneath his boots. "How long until we reach Ursis Minor?"

Miura checked his wrist comm. "Two hours, by Terramarrian time. It'll be seven in the evening Coruscanti time."

"Good." He dusted his gloved hands off. "And where is Lady Ren? We don't want her returning to the Dauntless in my absence."

"The Starfall left Yavin 4 a few hours ago. Lady Ren is currently en route to continue her mission. Probe droids sent down to the surface of three former Rebel hideouts have collected enough information to warrant pick up. She is retrieving them."

Radford frowned as he absorbed the news. "That is troubling. Has our EM pulse erased the data disks?"

"We cannot know for sure, but it can be assumed the information collected is on non-essential personnel who are deceased." Miura fidgeted with the collar of his jacket. He saw that the Captain had been analyzing the micro-recorder that had been hidden inside his plom bloom pin. The delicate enameled petals lay disassembled on the white center table.

"Ursis Minor…, the rendezvous point." Radford turned toward the viewport window affording a view of black space spackled with a million stars. "The solar storms I gather are active in that sector?"

"They always are, limiting communication between First Order Star Destroyers. There are none in that region for that reason alone. It's a no man's land."

…

Luke was guided to the private study off the main level of crew accommodations. Fel would be with him shortly, informed the polite protocol droid. It was a reprogrammed First Order machine, likely taken in a factory raid. Luke glanced around the tasteful furnishings, the large warm wood desk. The holocall terminal looked new and up to date with the only element of personal possessions in the form of flimsiplast images mounted in metal frames. These last items drew his attention for their uniqueness. Someone had made them of a family posted on the known boundaries of the galaxy.

Fel's younger self was recognizable from the mischievous smile and bright green eyes. Baron Fel, his father, retained the stiff bearing of an Imperial officer, intelligence in the weathered face beside him, a beautiful blonde woman vaguely familiar, leaned against his shoulder. A landscape painting in sand hues and stark grey rock occupied a central place. Niruan…Luke had traveled there once with…but that was long ago. Now he better appreciated his former foe.

"I see you're admiring my family."

"These are very good likenesses as far as I can judge. Who made them?"

The younger man cleared his throat. "A droid did. He was versed in the lost art of photography. He captured them from life."

"They look happy."

"My mother was an actress from the holodramas. She left that life behind to live in the Niruan outpost. It was harsh and barren out there. As you can see, there were good times as well as bad."

"I had similar once," Luke's gaze traveled to the static images of the family. "But, I lost them a long time ago."

"You said you wanted to talk to me about something?" Fel sat down behind the desk, gesturing to the seat opposite. The Jedi Master moved closer slowly, but didn't sit. "Leia was almost executed by the First Order. It happened during their meeting." He watched as degrees of emotion went through the man's expression. "She is safe for now." Luke felt strange repeating almost the exact same words Jaina had said.

"We already know. The moment _he_ was in hyperspace, we received a communique from him."

"The spy?"

"Seems like we're not the only ones with a spy aboard the Ravager." Fel remarked coolly. "Because of recent First Order movements, I've decided to hold my own rendezvous."

"Who is coming?"

"Everyone who is somebody in the fleet; I know very well the danger of exposing our leaders, but we've taken every precaution for safety," Fel smiled, a habit Luke had noticed whenever the man felt nervous. "And you're here."

"If the worst happened, I couldn't face down the entire First Order with a laser sword."

"Well, then, war would be unavoidable. Right now, we have the element of surprise. Now tell me, who is it you were talking to yesterday? That someone is the person you're getting information from. Who is this _pilot_?"

Luke sighed, hands folded. What could he say? The truth? He had kept it hidden for so long he felt loathe now to reveal it. He thought about how much he knew about Jagged Fel beyond his parentage, his kinship ties to Wedge Antilles. Sometimes, he felt he knew very little, trust in itself was something that had to be earned. For everything the man had done for the Resistance, he felt he owed him a tiny bit of the truth and not just a mind-trick that might not work.

"When your people found me…on Corellia, I wasn't looking to be part of this," he gestured to the well-appointed study, to the faded Imperial banner side by side with the Rebel Alliance symbol. "I was done with whatever Dameron calls them now." _The Resistance had to change along with the new Galactic Order_. "For a time, I was resentful that people were depending on me again. People had come looking for me, trying to get me back into the fight. I let them down. I was always letting people down." He exhaled and felt older than his many years. "Then, someone else came. That person made me want to live selfishly again. Oh, I wanted to live my remaining years away from it all." _They told me about her as if I didn't know already_. "In some ways, she gave me back my will to live, and now she saved Leia." He wouldn't give credit to Ben Solo. Ben was too far gone to care about his mother. _But, Jaina must've done something. It was always her_. "She doesn't even know what she's done for this family."

"She's part of the First Order?"

He nodded heavily. "She killed Snoke and someone covered up for her."

"Word was the scavenger -"

"Rey wasn't strong enough yet to overcome him." _She barely had three lessons from me and went to face monsters. There was no other conclusion to her life than death_. Carefully controlled interest sparked in Fel's expression. "She is a Force user and strong…Luke, you must turn her. With her on our side, we can win without needless bloodshed!"

"You're asking the wrong person. I want to help. I didn't see…any hope before, but you know what?" Their eyes clashed heatedly. "I'd forgotten that sometimes you can't see hope, but it's still there." _She reminded me of it_.

"That is the same hope that pushed me to save General Organa's people. I care a great deal about this fleet. I don't have the resources the First Order has. If I could spare them the suffering and fear of a long-drawn out conflict then I will. Luke, you _must_ try and bring her to our side. We need all the help we can get."

 _She is the key_.

Luke averted his face, regretting his admittance of her existence. It was always the same for them. Someone wanted to use them for their Force abilities. Someone wanted to use her without giving anything in return. Granted, Fel had intentions for peace, through honor and discipline he wanted to redeem the Empire. But, he wouldn't find what he was looking for in Jaina.

"I'm sorry." _How those words haunted him even now_. "This is not going to go the way you think it is."

…

Finn and Rose were lost. _It's always us_ , he thought, wishing BB-8 would magically appear down one of the endless hallways. There were Stormtroopers posted at the entrances whose responses were a directive to another of higher ranking who they couldn't find. Finn knew the meeting was top secret and all, _but was this really necessary?_

His inner map of Resurgent-class Star Destroyers and Star Dreadnoughts failed him. This was an Imperial-class or something similar. They had come from the smaller Victory-class II _Vengeance_ whose outer hull resembled the grey wedge-shaped Star Destroyers of the Imperial past, but he had been suitably impressed with the interior. Finn's companion on the other hand preferred studying the interior workings of shield defense.

 _It's strange it feels like the place I grew up_.

The paneled lighting, the polished floors, droids, Stormtroopers with flat featured helmets…it was a far cry from Crait's former rebel base. Finn remembered _running side by side with Rose as they went deeper into the cave system. Someone had been transmitting a signal from the outside. There had been light up ahead, spilling inward into a sloping chamber. Natural rock had been carved away; Finn had noticed the precision in the smooth walls. He had passed the flat of his palm against them; the stone was ice cold to the touch. Someone had carved through the rock and for a moment, his hopes had lifted. Maybe something out of this terrible day had been salvaged. No normal human had cut through the cave wall with machinery; only the mystical Force could've done the impossible. Rey had come for them. But, the signal wasn't the binary beacon Leia had pressed into Finn's hand._

 _The handful of fighters had streamed out into a low salt-covered valley, blinking in the sudden influx of daylight from the darkness of the cavern. Two men had stood there beside the sleek lines of a silver ship, not an army, not a pair of starcraft ready for battle. The younger man smiled as he stepped forward, dressed in civilian clothing. Finn saw the blaster rifle slung over his shoulder and looked to the other whose slightly bent form indicated someone of advanced age. The dark red lined cloak and brown and black garments seemed almost impractical. The face was hidden by a mask that stopped many of them short._

" _Master Skywalker!" Poe exclaimed in the sudden quiet, wild hope laced with doubt; distant explosions had rocked the ground. Several people had turned back toward the entrance, dismayed._

" _Please! I'm not that fool."_ _The hazel eyes that surveyed them contained some amusement. "We'd better hasten our departure. The shields only work so long with this kind of proximity."_

 _The younger man had nodded, extending his hand to Poe. "Commander Dameron, I'm Jagged Fel of the Imperial Star Destroyer Gilad Pellaeon. We're here to rescue you."_

 _They had no choice of choosing allies. Finn had seen Rose's look of pure disgust. She equated the word Imperial with First Order. Likely still did_ , he thought.

"There's someone who might be able to help." Rose led the way, her shorter legs working fast to catch up to the dark-haired man exiting decon.

"Hi! We're lost!" Rose burst out, putting on her best smile. "Can you tell us the way to the bridge?"

"I would, but I barely got here myself." The man extended his hand. Finn scrutinized him from his hastily buttoned green jacket and flared trousers above tall boots. "Reece Miura, Lieutenant of the Dauntless."

The name of the ship brought to mind sleek black lines. The dominant shape of a Star Destroyer in orbit above Jakku. Yet the Dauntless had never been there. Finn grabbed Rose by the arm, pulling her back. "The Dauntless is a First Order ship. Who the hell are you?" His hand twitched toward his blaster, making sure Miura made no funny moves.

Rose looked briefly startled, her friendly expression turning into hostility. "The First Order?" She pulled out a blaster faster than he did. Finn glanced around noticing the Stormtroopers were merely observing, but hadn't advanced. _What was going on? What was Fel playing at?! Was this a set up?_

Miura hastily put his gloved hands up. "No, no, we were invited here! We're on your side."

…

" _Killik Twilight._ Such a marvelous painting." Radford complimented. The long gallery was lit by diffuse light. Contained within the large cityscape, the collection was guarded by a pair of Stormtrooper guards at either end of the corridor. They saluted Fel once, resuming their stationary pose. Radford had noticed the older man walking almost abreast with him; slighter of stature, dark beard and hair softening to a wan grey, the blue eyes remained vividly bright in his face. The most telling thing about his identity was the light saber clipped to the belt securing his Jedi robes.

"It's Alderaanian moss, compiled by Ob Khaddor. Grand Admiral Thrawn sent someone to win the painting at a Mos Espa auction. It truly is one of a kind."

"Far better than some of the artwork peddled to the rich on Terramaire." V'lane fidgeted with his cuffs. The jacket he had been given in decon was half a size too small. Amaral would've noticed something like the edges of his black gloves peeking out, the imperfect crease on his trousers. Skywalker looked at him slightly harder than he expected.

"This is the spy?"

 _I beg your pardon!_ "I prefer Imperial officer, Master Skywalker."

"Oh, ho! The legend lives on then." Skywalker jeered none so pleasantly. V'lane was inclined to correct his assumptions. "Actually, it's the light saber. It's an easy deduction as to your identity."

Skywalker looked briefly surprised. "I've dealt with your kind before. As necessary as they are in wartime, they're rarely ever honorable."

V'lane's impassive expression betrayed none of his inner indignation. Skywalker was testing him. He fancied he could almost feel the _Force_ probing him as Ren likely had on the Ravager. Skywalker seemed almost satisfied, nodding slightly.

"That's how you shield your mind?"

"We were taught by the best."

Sometime later, they were seated around the table where the meeting was to take place. Luke sat across Radford while Fel remained at the head of the table. "General Hux has a spy in Captain Maxilian Avior. He took over for Phasma in the Stormtrooper program when she was stationed on the Finalizer. He is a brutal piece of work, let me tell you. He has endurance training, combat weaponry training and checked out on most ordnances available. I'm no light weight hand to hand fighter, but even I wouldn't want to tangle with him." Radford shuddered slightly, disturbed. "Kylo Ren has made a grave mistake in trusting Avior with the Stormtrooper legions aboard the Ravager."

"You're saying they'll turn on him with a slight provocation on his part?"

"I believe if General Hux commands them. They follow Hux's orders and not Captain Farady despite being stationed on his ship." Radford explained, pausing to take a sip of water. "Usually they're in overall command of the ship's Captain, but because of Hux's unique position as General, he has final say over the Army. I was hoping Farady would take advantage of Hux's foibles and be rid of him. But, it's far too early to tell how that scheme will pan out."

Luke had been silent the entire time, listening to the duo talk, now he turned to the spy inquiringly. "Ben Solo can read minds. How can you be certain he didn't read you?"

"He did to a minor degree." Radford shrugged, setting the glass down. "There was a moment when I thought I'd blown my cover. Kylo looked like he was going to murder me in the turbolift."

"With a mind like yours, I'm not surprised." Luke commented, holding back from another mental probe. Radford had his shields up; he was also an astute observer. The Rebel Alliance had many spies during their fight against the Empire. It was the hardness in his gaze that betrayed him most. They were the eyes of a survivor, not a young man with a rosy future ahead of him.

"I'll take that as a compliment." Radford said with a wink causing the other to chuckle. "But, more likely it was a remark I made about a pretty dark-haired girl. Big blue eyes, the works." Radford described her shape in the air with his hands, adding lightly. "I think someone has caught his eye. I have very good confirmation from Lady Ren and Captain Farady that she is a Force user. Kylo is personally training her on his Dreadnought."

"You're not seriously…,"

"The _Force_ doesn't make him any less a man than us, Jag. The way I see it is his emotions have been stunted into one direction. It certainly seemed like jealousy to me." Whoever it is will teach him how to feel, how to think beyond his anger. "It could be viewed as a blessing in disguise. As he becomes wrapped up in her, he's going to lose focus on what's around him."

"Or he could use her and discard her like most men." The glance was calculated enough for Luke to assume Fel was merely gauging his response. The man suspected something, but only looked for confirmation rather than outright accusation. "V'lane here seduced the only female Knight of Ren when she had found evidence to bring to Snoke's attention concerning our…continued existence." Fel said, smirking. "After the deed was done, he retrieved and destroyed the evidence."

"All in a good day's work." Radford's blithe sigh was at odds with the conflict in his heart. Luke felt it through the living Force, not fooled by the spy's act.

…

"Why the Imperial Remnant?" That answer eluded Finn. Why anyone would voluntarily join an institution that condoned the suppression of worlds was beyond his understanding. Reece Miura sighed. "No one ideal is correct. I would never join the Resistance for the simple fact that they represented the New Republic who never gave a damn when Otomok was destroyed."

"That's -" Rose blinked in surprise, her instinctive urge to defend the Resistance deflating. She hadn't really thought of it in that way. Where was the home fleet of the Republic when the First Order raped their home world? Likely bogged down in political fights in the senate, she thought. Paige had known and understood more about the differences between Centralist and Populist planets than she had.

"I respect your desire to fight, but don't judge me or anyone else especially Captain Radford for our loyalties." Miura bowed formally, his boot heels clicking. "It's always good to see a fellow Haysian, Ms. Tico. Now if you'll excuse me, Mr. Finn."

Finn's brows lifted. He could never get used to the politeness of these people. Sometimes it reminded him too much of the First Order without a vicious ginger-haired general at the forefront.

…

 _So this is Crait_.

The Starfall initiated landing procedures not far from the line of blasted trenches, scars in the red pocked salt world where First Order AT-M6s had fired on the last remnant of the Resistance. Saskia saw the far off glimmer of a Vulptex, multiple refractive hues of light catching on its crystal-like body. She walked down the ramp of the shuttle, her boots crunching on the encrusted white top soil.

"I won't be long." She said to the Stormtroopers flanking the Starfall, not expecting a reply. Her thoughts wandered as she set off. Fragments of her dream had lingered in her mind for a long time afterward. She hadn't visited the site of Luke's academy in years, not walked through the thick grass, traced the line of the rubble left behind nor visited the pyre where he had burnt the bodies of the slain. She had thought of Jaina most, with that debilitating injury, wondering at the silence of the other four knights.

She stared past the gaping ruins, blasted rock and twisted metal. Rusted mine carts exposed to the elements spilled salt chunks glittering like the finest Rubellite crystal in the weak shafts of sunlight. Saskia stepped inside the vast echoing space, checking her comm unit. The probe droid sent out a signal that she followed through a communications room full of shattered transparisteel and overturned seats. People, desperate souls had played target practice on the ancient equipment. Nothing could be salvaged; likely nothing was worthwhile on the old datadisks.

In a distant room with a few dismantled ski-speeders, the signal came strongest from there. _How ironic_ , she thought, carefully picking her way through the rubble. The probe droid had found a computer, something someone had likely taken from the larger cruiser before its destruction. Saskia's suspicions were confirmed the moment she saw the pile of newer equipment left behind a mechanic's console.

It was a simple matter connecting to the droid's mainframe, performing a quick manual run through of the data. Saskia watched names cycle through the list, worlds where family members resided. One name leapt out at her. _Mara Jade_. Saskia accessed the file, thinking back to the bits and pieces Soramar had told her. _Mara Jade, Emperor Palpatine's assassin._

 _Jedi Knight Luke Skywalker spoke for Jade during the tribunal held after Liberation Day. Skywalker presented evidence of Jade's innocence in the various crimes of which she was accused. Jade received acquittal five days later. She and Skywalker departed Chandrila searching out rumors of Dark Lady Lumiya. The Sith Apprentice was later defeated by an alliance between the Jedi Knight and the former Assassin._

 _They returned to Chandrila where they…_

"In years to come, Jade and her daughter were murdered by an Imperialist faction." _Jaina and her mother_ …Saskia rechecked the dates; the file hadn't been accessed in years until her probing. _But, what did it all mean? What was Jaina's mother doing with Master Skywalker of all people? And they retired into seclusion…what the hell did that mean? It almost sounded like they'd been in a relationship._ Soramar had never said anything about it, neither conjecture nor otherwise. He had sworn that Ionone wasn't the woman's father, but someone else. An image of the bearded dark-haired man who had taken her from Gatalenta, surfaced in her mind.

Luke's bright blue eyes remained the most vivid thing in her recollection. She compared Luke and Jaina in her mind, trying to figure out if there was a resemblance. _Skywalker with a child…a wife and child…Couldn't be…, he was dedicated to the Jedi Order. He spoke out against romantic attachments, citing stories of nameless fallen Jedi Knights_. _Knights who had fallen because of love._ She could see him in her mind's eye regaling those stories to them, _Luke's stare hard on his nephew, never on anyone else._

Ren could never suspect it. He couldn't even think there was some kind of connection between Jaina and their former master. The realization came to her; the longer she stood there surrounded by broken down equipment. _Ren had accepted his mother's surrender and then in the next breath commanded every gun they had to be fired on the mine_.

 _No quarter, no prisoners_.

She could hear people screaming and the clashing hum of a light saber carving a bloody path through a rain-soaked night. She could see the long line of faces of people Ren had tortured and killed seeking Skywalker, his mercilessness - she could see him twisting Soramar's neck around, Ren's gloved hand outstretched, gesturing as one might turn the cork on a slim-necked bottle of fine wine. She could see Skywalker's fear and concern as he watched his nephew training. Ben taking pleasure in violence, the dark side fueled by hatred, forgetting the way of the Jedi is to disarm. At the end of it, she could see him cutting down the youngling girl who wanted to befriend him.

 _I can't_ …

Saskia saw her wrist comm was flashing. She looked down at the probe droid projecting the data stream. Somewhere, they were waiting for her to authenticate it wasn't a false positive and transmit the data to the Star Destroyer's server. Coming to a decision, she shuttered her fist quickly.

The _Force_ crushed the droid into scrap, then she accepted the incoming call.

"Lady Ren, we're ready for the transmission."

She glanced down at the fragmented metal and claw-like legs twitching at her booted feet. "I haven't been able to locate the probe. There seems to be a magnetic field messing with my homing beacon. I'll keep looking."

…

 _That girl is something else_.

"There wasn't going to be any Masters or Apprentices anymore."

Leia reflected that this was unprecedented. Ben felt free to speak of Jaina in her presence. He could talk of her openly as he could with no one else. She appreciated the confidences he gave her and in some small way, she could see a little of the awe he reserved for the woman.

"I had decided to end it all." But, he hadn't been able to get her out of his mind. "Those were all old things, carry-overs from the Republic, the Empire. None of it belonged in the new Galactic Order."

"Then, why didn't you?"

"I saw her."

 _I already knew…I think…what was going to happen once I took Rey to Snoke._

"I wasn't aware of her at first. She was nobody, nothing. But, I was someone to her." _She followed me around as much as possible, she learned my routines. I almost caught her when she dropped her ID. That was how I knew someone was there_. "Without me, her life was going to continue on a set course. I could've let her go. Six months, a year…and she would forget anything had ever happened to make her different."

 _I was selfish._

 _I wanted to be her Master. There was no raw, untamed power within her. But, it was power all the same. She was unafraid of the dark side unlike Rey's inherent rejection of it. Jaina was different. She would embrace my teachings. I was never anyone's Master until now_.

"I persisted and…I called out to her."

Snoke was focused on Rey; the light around her, so radiant and bright didn't let him see what was beyond the Supremacy. _But, he had known_. Standing on the bridge, overlooking space and the flight of space superiority fighters, she dominated his thoughts.

"I was starting to wonder how you met her." Leia held back from her usual quips. "Funny that. You met her and she rescued you." She almost said _that was the opposite of how your father and I met. Han was always rescuing her until he couldn't do anything anymore_. "That's the story, isn't it?"

 _Must she say it that way?_

"I didn't need to be rescued." But, it sounded weak to his ears. They weren't even. She had saved him from the Praetorian Guards - he had saved her from his knight - and she had found a way to save his mother. Then, she had implied he needed to verbalize his gratitude - _but, I'll accept it with your mouth_. Yes, those were her thoughts. _His mouth on hers_ \- and he had wanted to destroy something. She had driven him crazy simply by thinking of an alternative to his offer. The woman in her baggy, regulation clothing out of the body suit that had Farady staring; somehow appealed to his senses. _She was alluring as a Knight of Ren, beautiful in plain clothing._

"May I see her?" Leia had prepared her arguments, the ways she would fight Kylo/Ben on all fronts. "I'm alone here except for your sporadic visits." She caught his look, imagining his refusal forming. Well, the world didn't revolve around him, it was time he learned it. "If you're worried I'm going to tell her about how you used to run buck naked from the bath as a toddler, don't be."

He averted his face, but was determinedly silent.

As amusing as that anecdote was, she had a far more pressing matter on her mind than little Ben Solo. Leia kept her real reasoning behind mental shields. Except for a few frustrated attempts to break into her mind twice before, he hadn't violated the sanctity of her memories.

Sensing she wasn't going to entreat more, he said, "I'll consider it."

…

 _There is always conflict somewhere in the galaxy_.

"Close your eyes and reach out with your feelings. Somewhere in the galaxy, the native inhabitants of a world are at war. It is a microcosm of conflict in the greater darkness brought about by First Order rule."

She concentrated on the striation produced by the battle. The taint of death, the holes piercing the living web of energy.

"What can you see?"

"Life, death. Violence. It's all so chaotic; they're just blurs in the _Force_." Jaina said, her smooth expression rippling into discontent. Her senses were steadily being overwhelmed by the confusion of the battle.

"Now imagine if you were there, physically present." Obi-Wan instructed carefully. "Think about it. How would you direct the _Force_ to aid you?"

"I-I don't think I could. At least not for long."

"Okay, so what does that tell you?"

"That my force control requires improving"

"No. The point of the lesson is to show you that you are an instrument of the Force." The ghost said patiently. She let go of the faraway battle, focusing on the soft blue glow encasing the man seated across from her. "You do not control the Force, you are part of it, enacting its conscious will.

 _"_ _You wouldn't be here in this moment if you hadn't had something inside you, protecting you."_

"What happens when you are an instrument of the dark side? Does that make you a Sith or a dark sider?"

"No, they sought to control the Force, bending it to their will never realizing that the Force was flowing through them, twisted to their own desires. There was also a splinter sect of the Order who believed the Force was neither light nor dark, they were called the grey-Jedi." A touch of wry humor could be heard in his voice. "My first Master, Qui Gonn Jinn was considered radical in his day for his similar beliefs."

"I think I've heard of him before." She could almost picture a kindly middle-aged man, long brown hair, clad in traditional Jedi robes. Those beliefs were somewhat like her own realization about some of Kylo's techniques. He may have been a dark warrior yet the concept behind the techniques was neither side.

"You'll meet him when the time is right. He has already said so."

She hummed under her breath thoughtfully. "Why did the Jedi forbid marriage?"

"Ah, that's a fun question Knight Revan would've been able to answer better. Mostly because love leads to passion and jealousy. Dark emotions can come about as well as fear of loss."

"Yes, but, if one was taught that the spouse or loved one never really dies- as the code says, then why be afraid of it?"

"Does everyone believe as strongly as you?"

"Well…no, I guess."

"How do you think Luke's Jedi Academy was?"

She thought about the little bit she knew. "It was similar in structure to the Jedi Temple on Coruscant. I believe he followed the tenets of the Order quite rigidly. He never married." She shook her head slightly. "He tried to right the wrong Anakin Skywalker, his father, committed by loving someone too much."

"Ah, but what if Luke did marry someone…would that have changed the perceptions held about his Jedi Order?"

"I don't know. The old rules," she didn't want to sound so offensive. "If you don't mind me saying this, were kind of harsh."

Obi-Wan smiled slightly amused, waiting for her to enumerate her reasons.

"I mean - no possessions _like droids_ , no attachments _not even to droids_ , no marriage, no children and age restrictions - what is that?"

"A system that had survived thousands of years."

"Okay - I give up."

"Luke modeled his Jedi Academy after the Temple on Coruscant. He searched for a long time for the archive of holocrons Madame Nu had hidden away. From them, Luke gained a vast store of knowledge on the ways of the Jedi Order. He used what he thought would work to restore the Order. Unfortunately, these holocrons were destroyed when his temple burned to the ground."

"But, still no marriage."

The ghost fell silent observing her pout, finally he quietly laughed. "Do you think you can dedicate yourself to someone and still live for the Force?"

She looked down guiltily; she had been wondering that same question. "I'm not sure. If it was the right person, I think they would make me stronger in the light for wanting to protect them."

"Wouldn't you be tempted to use the dark side instead?"

Jaina had the uncomfortable feeling he was testing her. "No, because the dark side ultimately corrupts everything it touches. I might start out with good intentions, but I could lose control and…harm that other person. I think stopping yourself for someone else proves that light will always be stronger than darkness."

…

"Your fighting style is different than anything I've ever seen." They had engaged in a light sparring match. He could see the fatigue in her movements, but didn't ask the reason. It could've been anything from pressure she felt to keep meeting his standards, from concern over her unhealed wound. There were other options such as skin grafting, regrowth from stem cells. But, that option would take a year or longer and the healing time would place her out of his reach.

He was selfish, pushing her along.

Kylo thought of it as his right.

The last blow sent her reeling. Her pain was a bright scream of agony in the _Force_. She doubled over, stricken by a gasping fit.

"Use your pain. Come on! Come at me!"

Jaina straightened with difficulty, her eyes were watering. She was shaking all over, two-handed grip tightening. She gritted her teeth and braced her stance. Kylo was aware of his pounding heart. She was beaten, but she wasn't down. Jaina ran at him suddenly, her gliding run enhanced by the Force. The saber cut the air dangerously close to his body. Kylo evaded, just beyond her reach. The fire was back in her eyes. But, it wasn't enough. She was weakening fast. Kylo kicked out, skimming her legs. Jaina nearly toppled, stumbling hard. She caught herself and charged again, sweeping wide strikes blocked by his heavier swings. Her footwork was misleading. He glanced at it, at the way she moved when she wasn't swinging in his face.

Dominant foot behind, trailing foot leading.

The next moment he had caught her in a saber lock. Sparks flew between the blades, scattering against their gloved hands. Jaina pressed her slighter weight, throwing herself behind the disarming move. Kylo shoved back hard, sensing her disorientation. Jaina recovered faster than he expected, catching the right shunt. Both blades flew through the air deactivating harmlessly with a curl of her fingers. Unthinkingly, he struck her in retaliation. The blow scissored her body, she gasped, hitting the floor.

 _Come on. Get up._

Then, as she pushed herself on her arms and knees, her hand shot out - at the same moment as his. Kylo watched his hilt shudder as the two opposing summons struck it. He wasn't surprised. It flew into her hand. The hilt hit her palm, fingers curled around it. The weapon ignited in a snarl of energy, the hellish red glow splashed her face. Kylo glanced quickly, the hilt of her saber trembled from the floor, flying forward suddenly as if sensing there was only one seeking it. The hilt fit into his palm without room for error. Kylo flicked the switch, the red beam responded immediately without the vibrating static he was familiar with. He had never touched her light saber before. Not this one. Not the winged saber whose balance was perfect from weight to collision. They crossed blades. Jaina wielded his saber with precision, aware of the sparks that flew from it, unafraid of its vicious growling and sputtering.

 _Fight me. Don't stop._

She was wild with emotion, her footwork a precise balance of lunges and slides. He almost didn't notice the dampness of her shirt, the cloth clinging stickily to her skin. Jaina was breathless as if she was pushing herself beyond her limits, pulling off a spin around him. He whirled around to follow her, the two blades gliding centimeters apart. She spun his saber in her hand, the arc appearing a crimson flame that burned the atmosphere.

 _There, drenched in sweat, her body unconsciously moving to attack she was stunning in her ferocity_.

Her saber surged in his grip. He felt the conscious longing to return to her resonate through the crystal. The blade was violently rejecting him; refusing to accept him as its temporary master. _Reminiscent of its true wielder_ , he thought. Yet he sensed nothing of the same from his own kyber crystal. The black crossguard hilt looked as though it belonged to her. _Those slim fingers skating up and down the shaft_. _Her grasp firm as she took his saber to hand_. Twisted and turned, malleable to her will, the cracked crystal cried for destruction.

 _That's it. Come. Come to me_.

Jaina's grip flexed around the hilt of his saber, her stance slipped back into the opening offense. He shifted and prepared for a force-run. When she darted forward, he was ready. They clashed again, high. Then, low as she dropped into a skating slide. He narrowly jumped over the slicing curve that ran level to the floor.

 _What you feel…that is the dark side_.

She picked herself up, breaths coming in ragged gasps.

 _I will be the one to unleash it in you_.

He saw the viscous patches slicking the floor, staining her garments. As much as he wanted to continue until they were both bruised black, he knew when to stop. Kylo didn't want to break her, not yet.

"Enough."

The blades deactivated.

She merely nodded; she was too tired and bloodied for anything else.

…

 _All I want to do is sleep._

She lied full-length on the cot, exhaustion overcoming her modesty. Kylo cut away the soaked fabric, peeling it from the wound. It had reopened; she had known it had, from the moment when he had sent her reeling. The pain existed as a roar in her ears, a rushing crest of waves eating away at her defenses. She closed her eyes against the pounding headache at her temples.

He was gentler than she had believed him capable of being. His hands moved over the seeping gash, pushing green tinted Force energy into her body. She wanted to squirm. The initial contact was always the worst. Her skin burned as though he had set it aflame, the flesh never quite sealing into wholeness. She needed something to distract her mind.

"Who taught you the healing arts?"

She imagined Skywalker, surprised at his bemused response.

"No one did. I taught myself."

Well, that certainly fit into her view of his independence. "So you decided one day to learn how to heal. I want to learn too so I can deal with my own injuries." She felt his irritation linger over her. "I feel like a burden not being able to do it myself. Even now, I'm keeping you here away from your duties."

"Is that what you think you are?"

"I don't know. I'm far below the place where I want to be and it drives me crazy sometimes to see how little progress I'm making."

"You already know what holds you back."

She opened her eyes briefly. "I…I'm not having this conversation with you." Jaina was tired, her muscles screamed in exhaustion. She shifted against the rough pillow, wishing she were back in her own room instead of in the medbay. It wasn't safe to sleep in his presence, _but she was so tired, surely it didn't harm to close her eyes for a few minutes_ …

"No?"

She was silent, so quiet which was surprising. He had expected her to challenge him. Kylo glanced up and saw the rhythmic lift of her breathing. She had fallen asleep. His glance shifted away from the curve of her breast down to the edge of the cot where the droid peeped. Kylo motioned for silence. The BB unit registered his gesture, head swiveling to the sleeping woman, then back to him.

Jaina was training hard every night to impress him, to get his attention. So much so, she had worn herself out. _In her slumbering state, her defenses should be low_. He pulled his glove off, lifting his hand to her brow, cupped palm resting above her ear. The soft buzz of her thoughts was muted, but he could feel the warmth of her force signature luminescent against his skin. There was nothing else for a few minutes. She was fast and steadily asleep. Kylo lightly probed into her mind, careful not to induce pain. The droid was watching him, waiting to see if he meant her harm. _There_.

He saw space superiority fighters flying in formation against the backdrop of a setting sun. He saw a Star Destroyer hovering above a pale white and blue planet; white moons glowed, water moons shivered, dancing in orbit around distant worlds. The purplish-blue glow of a nebula painted her dream. She was dreaming of flying across the stars. Why had he thought there would be something else? _Was it the silhouette of her light saber in his hand that had an echo of the Jedi? She was no Jedi_. Kylo's hand slid against her cheek unable to come up with a reason to cease the affectionate gesture.

The door opened.

"Supreme Leader-"

It was Farady.

He half-turned, gaze narrowed.

"Oh, ah…," the man retreated hastily into the corridor. Once alone, Kylo retrieved a blanket from the closet, spreading it loosely over her chest and legs. Leaving a pile of clean clothing on the table for when she awakened, he walked out to see what the man wanted.

"I sincerely apologize for the intrusion. However, I thought you should know that one of the Knights is within an hour of arrival. The ID code from the ship doesn't match the _Starfall_. I'm positive the ident code called it the _Ysalamiri_."

Kylo had thought it was inevitable that the others come for one reason or another. Names, faces went through his head. They shouldn't see her like this. They would question his motives as to why he would keep someone with an obvious debility as an initiate. There must be a way to heal an injury of that severity. The only answer that came to him was dark side meditation.

"Don't let _anyone_ come near here." _Whoever it was, whether_ …he was certain their curiosity was paramount concerning her especially since her force signature had strengthened in recent months. He could see if it he turned around, radiating brightly.

"I can station guards." Farady's expression hardly showed surprise. "Just say the word and where you want them."

More than ever, he had begun to see the worth of having someone who obeyed him and didn't challenge his orders. "Use discretion, Captain." Another glance and he saw the blue eye of the droid peeping out through a gap in the door. "Also have food brought when she awakens."

"Is there something seriously wrong with her?"

"No. She is tired and needs time to recover." Kylo caught the man's thought behind his impassive expression. _What were you doing to her that made her tired? Men usually tire out first_. Farady's mind had instantly leapt to something else because of her state of undress. Kylo felt his irritation growing. Rather than respond to his inclination to strangle the man, he left to prepare for the knight's visit.

…

The woman was still asleep. Farady checked on her himself as he gave last minute instructions to Captain Avior. The Supreme Leader had circumvented General Hux's traditional chain of command by having Farady issuing orders; that in itself was calling a bluff that he wouldn't immediately defer to Hux. _For a woman no less_ , Farady looked her over. Slender, dark-haired, she slept peacefully. So fragile seeming yet he had been held in the thrall of her power on the bridge of his own ship.

Everyone knew of Ren's interest in the woman. They spent time together more often than not and he could be found frequenting the training room for hours with her. _And now he had guards stationed, protecting her from one of his knights_. _He doesn't even take this much care or precaution for Organa_ , thought Farady. _Lord Ren interested in a woman._ _Radford would find this development interesting._ The crackle of electricity punctured his thoughts. Farady hastily left after noticing the BB unit rolling threateningly forward from a shadowy corner.

…

 _"Why shouldn't I kill him?"_

 _He was Ben Solo still. Young, fierce with an overwhelming need to prove himself. That lack in his soul he never satisfied. Ben wasn't enough, he needed to become Kylo Ren. Ben knelt before Snoke, ignoring the stinging of his wounds. Valkyn had used a light whip vibrating with electricity. Against brute strength, Valkyn failed._

 _"He is nothing."_

 _Valkyn had nothing. No name. No blood. No family to mourn his life. The one thing he had was his face that some had described as an Angel's. Valkyn was descended from no one of importance._

 _"Yes, he has his life." Snoke had seen the livid fury and hatred in the knight's eyes. The others despised Kylo, especially the girl. Her teeth bared themselves in his presence. Her fear and hate of him were not strong enough to push her power however. She was an incipient insect against a larger predator. But, Valkyn, who was nothing and no one, whose sole distinction was being the first of Luke's students - hated with a passion that went beyond the indifferent slaughter of the students._

 _"But, it is not yours to take."_

 _Ben looked up quickly, his hair dusting the sides of his face. "I am to be their Master! Their lives are mine-"_

 _"And you think like a child. Your child's mind cannot discard something once you tire of it. Valkyn has purpose and desire to overcome you. He is useful against your enemies." Snoke's expression hardened. "You are the one who hasn't learned the value of a tool."_

 _I have many_ , he thought, observing the stars. He had showered and dressed, awaiting the knight's arrival. _And I have learned_. Jaina's importance couldn't be underestimated. He had to keep her protected as much as possible until her physical weakness could be dealt with and yet, he wondered at his own motives. _Was it entirely for her future use that he treated her differently?_ Conflict simmered in the _Force_ , brooding with his thoughts. The answer eluded him. Presently, he became aware of another presence dwelling in the pools of shadow in the room.

The helmet had the shape of a hawkbat. The ugliness of the elongated beak was worn by only one Knight. Kylo's glance passed over the man's slim form, the curved hilt of his light saber built for dueling. "Master Ren. My belated congratulations on your new position."

"Rise." The knight's theatrics never ceased to tire him. "I have always been your Master, that has never changed."

"No. But, you are Lord of the First Order and the galaxy."

"Surely, you didn't come here to remind me."

"You are quite brutal, Master Ren." The knight remained kneeling, the narrow visor tilted to the floor. He made no move to remove his helmet. "I heard her screaming through the _Force_."

Kylo ignored that. The knight's words were gauged to tear into defenses.

"You know _who_. In the midst of my meditations, I saw a bright light piercing the darkness. The light came from one person, one woman. I want to see her. This initiate you and Saskia are training."

 _Yes, he had been correct_. Valkyn cared nothing for politics among the lesser peoples. His concern was for _Force_ sensitives, gauging power and ability. "You traveled for nothing. She isn't to be disturbed right now."

"Why?"

"I don't need to explain anything to you." Kylo intoned; the knight's unreadability were some of the things he found discomforting being in his presence. He never could see the knight's true thoughts behind his faint smile, the faint smile he wore when administering the killing blow to the worthy.

"Just a peek." Valkyn's hidden eyes followed him around the room. "Soramar told me she was _so very beautiful_ just like her mother. I wanted to see if it was true."

The words brought to mind her face, _her sorrow cutting the Force like knives._

"I know you don't see things like that." The knight continued. "The Jade family was on the whole, attractive people. I could see why Master Skywalker was always chasing after Mara Jade's tail."

The name was familiar. _Jaina's mother. What did she have to do with Luke?_ Both were dead. It shouldn't matter. But, it did matter. Somehow, someway. He could see Valkyn's intimation was calculated to get a rise out of him. "That's in the past."

"And the past is everything we were." Valkyn shrugged, slipping his hand into a slit in his fitted tunic. "How much do you trust, Saskia Taverre? After her sordid little affair with Captain Radford a number of years ago, I wouldn't trust her much." The knight produced a holotape from an interior pocket. "This is from Eridu. Saskia said she couldn't find the rest."

Kylo's gaze shifted from the tape to the helmeted face. "And why do you have it?"

"Oh, I'm a finder. A seeker of lost things. Rude Captain Radford calls me a hunter." Valkyn said amused. "But, I'm something much worse."

…

BB-9e waited for her to wake up. She slept soundlessly, unmoving except for a few twitches and the steady even breaths the droid measured to ensure she was comfortably asleep and not simply comatose. The woman's sleep was unlike the nights she slept restlessly on the Tarkin, tossing and turning in nightmares she never remembered in the morning. She was dreamlessly asleep and at peace.

Then, there was Ren.

The droid had kept its electroprod ready at full charge, positive she hadn't had a cut on her face that required his hand to linger there. Ren always caused pain no matter what he did. The droid was sure of it. They had looked at one another; Ren had touched his finger to his lips indicating silence. BB-9e had complied ready to shock him and beep loudly to awaken her if he did anything remotely threatening; caution prevailed however, the droid had settled for watchfulness waiting for Ren's next move. The odds of something else occurring were significantly higher the longer Ren gazed at her.

His next actions were curtailed by the unexpected arrival of Captain Farady. _One of the knights had set course for the ship, the reason lied with Jaina. Ren seemed to think so_. BB-9e had strained its audio sensors to catch their words spoken in a quiet tone. _Guards were suggested_. Farady, soul of discretion had even commanded the guards to move slowly so that the clanking of their armor wouldn't awaken her. Ren had left once he was certain his orders were being carried out. He didn't look back, _but there was something_ \- the droid heard the shifting of limbs, the soft groan as the former pilot came to.

"I fell asleep?" Her slightly muffled voice drifted from the bed. BB-9e explained in a few cautious beeps the presence of Stormtroopers. The woman listened without comment, reaching for the light saber left nearby. The droid peered upward from the bedside, watching her face. Her hand had closed on the slim hilt that so recently had been flesh-warm from touch. Her expression flickered from surprise to something else the droid couldn't define easily. _Elation. Happiness. Concern_.

Jaina sat up, fingertips stroking the saber.

 _So it's happening._

 _The very thing I was waiting for._

The droid asked her if something was wrong.

"No, but…everything has become a lot more difficult."

…

He knew it was her by the instinctive flare in his chest, _the sense came from the Force._ Subtly he was relieved it was her. Kylo turned away from the clear partition, no longer absorbing the satisfaction that the galaxy belonged to him. The stars seemed a strange place of otherworlds, an infinite sea of life untouched by his whims. Life went on as Saskia had claimed it would. Kylo felt his gaze straying from the chair that represented a throne, another symbol of his dominance. The chair held little meaning apart from a place to sit and contemplate matters. Jaina didn't look at it despite never laying eyes on it before.

She had figured out how to override the biometric scanner into the viewing platform, drawing near. "Are you alright?" She had dressed in the loose pants and shirt he had left out for her. Jaina had her light saber hilt in hand and glanced about cautiously as if expecting someone else to be there. The droid followed closely at her heels.

"Why?"

"I had a feeling…," she shuddered and stopped. "I had a sense you were in danger." She seemed at a loss on how to explain her concern. "I think it was the _Force_ telling me."

"One of the Knights of Ren came briefly." Kylo refrained from reminding her of the ridiculousness of one of them being able to harm him. Perhaps there was some truth to her sense since she had identified Snoke as a threat without ever seeing the former Supreme Leader face to face.

She clipped the hilt to her belt, sighing. "Be careful with whoever it was. I sensed…something off about him."

"Did you eat?"

"No, I…came here as fast as I could."

 _Mind-tricking the Stormtroopers again…, she was impossible to contain_. Kylo almost smiled. Her concern brushed his conscious mind. She was looking at him, not past him at the canvas of space beyond the partitioned transparisteel.

Encouraged by his silence, she stepped closer, something crunched underfoot. The droid rolled around her to inspect the crushed remnants of the holotape.

"Think nothing of it." The edge remained in his tone. He had crushed it, refusing to be led on by the knight. Valkyn had wanted to manipulate him, cause doubt to dwell between them. He didn't trust Saskia, he didn't trust anyone. But, the past was dead. It didn't make her what she was.

"Every time I'm here, there's always something destroyed." She said conversationally, stepping onto the platform beside him. Side by side they stood. He observed that the color had returned to her face, the bloodless pallor had gone, replaced with a slight flush. Small jitters in the _Force_ disturbed the calmness he had expected from her.

"Does that bother you?"

"No, I'm used to it." Jaina leaned on the railing. She seemed better, rested. "I'm going to start flying without escort." She hesitated, testing the waters. "I'm not going to run away if that's what you think."

 _Why would she?_

She would come back. Come running to him always. He sensed that truth after reading her dream state. She was flying through the stars in her dream, but she was always coming back to him.

-TBC

AN: I was originally going to post on May 4th, but due to time constraints with finals, I decided to hold off until now. Thanks for reading! (update 7-4-18) rewrote a few paragraphs.

No flames!

Please Review


	6. Chapter 6

" _Don't worry, you're ready."_

The Nautolan Jedi Master stood at a slight angle, feet moderately spread apart, the saber held in a two-handed grip. She had chosen the traditional opening stance, feeling slightly nervous. _This is it_. She was conscious of BB-9e staying at a safe distance away, peeping out from behind a column.

 _This could make or break my Form I training._

Her slight glance afforded an opening. Fisto ran at her suddenly, his style wild. The green blade carved a deadly path through the air. Jaina evaded, whirling on her heels to block his horizontal strike. He was unusually fast, she noted. She had barely noticed him move. The heat from her saber sizzled against the pure energy of his. Fisto pulled off and followed up with a fast offense-defense velocity of strikes and blocks that left her feeling winded. She matched his pace halfway, catching the slack with a strong saber hook. The legacy saber sliced through the green blade, emitting a shower of sparks.

She was sorry for a lot of things at that moment.

"We have an audience." Fisto smiled slightly, disregarding her sadness. "Really, why?" She kept out of range, pulling off a balletic evade. She didn't dare glance around. Distractions weren't something she needed right now.

"This is the moment you're proving our belief in you was well-founded." He blocked her wide sweep, crossing the saber edges.

 _I'm not sure I believe in anything right now_.

Life and death dwelled in the Force; she could feel the balance magnified by the light, the darkness drawn out by Form I.

"I wish this was the Jedi Temple."

 _I wish - so many things._

 _I wish I could hear the true hum of our blades meeting_.

She spun around, aware of her seemingly clumsy movements so unlike Makashi's precise back and forth stance. "I know I should be grateful, and I am. But, I wish I could've known you when you were alive."

"I understand." His smile was wider, but there was nothing condescending in it. There was peace, the serenity of acceptance of how things were, not how they should've been.

…

"They're…evenly matched."

The Korun Jedi Master's scowl deepened, but he allowed a soft clap in approval. "Perfect footwork, enhanced speed to match your opponent and a sharp, keen eye for blade work. Impressive."

Jaina flushed in embarrassment, turning to bow. "Thank you." She thumbed the switch on the saber, clipping it to her belt. "I still feel I have a lot to learn. That was only Form I." She didn't want to complain about her age, refusing to think of another year gone meant she was a year older. "About Form II, I uh…" she felt more confident under Kenobi's gentle regard. "I think I'm -"

"You're strong enough in the Form to merit passing it."

She brightened considerably, relieved. "I wasn't sure, but I mean…Count Dooku-" she cursed her slip of tongue.

"Dooku was no longer a member of the Jedi Order at his death. He fell to the dark side of the Force."

Kenobi tried to soften Windu's cold assessment. "That is true about him; however he is part of the grey. When he passed on, his spirit was in conflict with the two halves of the Force. He went to find his former padawan, my Master Jinn, and gain some semblance of peace."

"Qui Gonn Jinn's loss affected him terribly. The bond between a master and student should remain strong even after separation." Jaina said, a little surprised the words had formed on her tongue without permission of her brain as if she repeated something someone had told her once. "How long will it take me to master Form III?"

"You already know some of the basic kata of Soresu." Kenobi said; Fisto nodded slightly. "I can't imagine it will take you over a year to master the Form."

"Another year!?" She burst out, disturbing BB-9e who had been dozing. "Form III is the last of the classic forms. The other four combat styles are better suited for fighting." _I won't be much of a threat to the Knights of Ren without mastering the other advanced forms_. She hadn't forgotten that sensation in the Force when the knight she had never laid eyes on before had been on the Ravager.

"You would do well to learn patience, girl. Your path is clouded by your obsession with Kylo Ren. You'll progress no farther if you don't learn to let go of your attachments."

…

 _There's got to be a faster way._

Jaina still stung from Master Windu's rebuttal. Unable to sleep, she paced the small room she had been given. Tucked away from the main operating floors of the Star Destroyer, the hum of the engines became a soothing vibration in the walls. She looked from her small cot up against the back wall to the tiny console where BB-9e had slotted itself in between the bed and the communication device to charge for the night. The room had very little meaning to her. It was a place to catch a few hours of sleep here and there, hardly larger than a closet in the apartment suite on a Star Destroyer; she wondered if she was being ungrateful.

"How did Luke become a Jedi? _No_. I know he trained but who knighted him?" She ceased pacing, dropping down to the floor. Jaina settled into a cross-legged position, her hands resting on her knees. Once in contact with the flow of the Force, she struggled to achieve the proper mind state. She lacked serenity. She hadn't expected to feel like a failure after passing Form I.

 _"Luke."_

She could almost see him drifting in sleep.

" _Luke."_ She prodded him through the Force causing him to start awake, cursing.

" _What do you want?"_ He demanded roughly. She almost smiled. Same grouchy old man; it was good to see that some things never changed. _"I wanted to ask you something."_

" _In the middle of the night?"_ Sarcasm dripped from him.

" _Now's a good a time as any."_ Jaina launched into her questioning without preamble. _"When you were training to become a Jedi…how long did it take you?"_

" _Oh, that."_ He sounded mildly inoffensive. _"Well, after I blew up the Death Star-"_

" _I'm being serious, Luke."_

" _So am I."_

" _Go ahead."_ Her expression twitched in meditation.

" _As I was saying, I was green around the ears. I had lost my first teacher and by some stroke of luck managed to not get blown up along with the Death Star. The Rebel Alliance scattered to the four corners of the galaxy, one of the worlds they occupied briefly was Hoth, an ice planet in the Anoat sector." Briefly, he drifted into faded memories of Echo Base. "Six months after the Battle of Yavin, I could barely move the light saber from the snow into my hand to fend off a hungry Wampa."_

He could feel her disappointment and surprise. _"Not the answer you were expecting, eh? You're already accomplished. You know so much more than I ever did back then. The Force…responds to you, Jaina. When I thought the Jedi should end, I hadn't seen you. No matter what I or anyone else thought, you're meant to be on this path."_

" _I'm going to be twenty-eight years old tomorrow. You were twenty at the Battle of Yavin. Sometimes, I feel like they're…holding me back. They're deliberately protracting my training for some reason."_ She hated sounding whiny despite the conviction in his voice.

Luke chuckled _. Ah, the bane of all masters when they had a student eager to prove themselves. "Let me tell you something. I learned this years ago when I faced the fact that there were no more Jedi - that was before Master Yoda…I learned the things that were the most worthwhile, took the longest. There's no easy road to get where you want to be in the end. If you thought it was going to be easy, then you're deluded by your own power."_ He sighed and tried to smile. " _But, I know you're not that kind of person. You should be proud of yourself. Now let us both get some sleep."_ Gradually, the connection between them relinquished and he sat alone in the darkened room. "Twenty-eight, huh. Time sure is flying."

…

"I need to know."

The realm of shadows surrounded his conscious state. Through the dark side, he could feel numerous beings who wandered in and out of his line of sight, some not deeming him worthy of their attention. Kylo felt himself bypassed by the Sith he had scorned. In that place where they dwelt between worlds, their power held sway. He inhaled and his lungs seemed to fill with the choking miasmic stench of the Korriban charnel pits.

 _I want to heal her wound_. One day it would endanger her life. No matter how strong she became, she could always be undone by it. Valkyn would strike hard once he learned of her physical weakness. It seemed only fair Kylo do that for her. Saskia had been right; he had come to that conclusion. He had taken Soramar there. He had let it happen. The wound was her shatterpoint, without understanding the basic essence of the technique; he knew his assumption was correct.

 _"Apprentice."_ The oily voice of his Master came forth. He could see a shade of Snoke, or what had once been him, draw close. The skeletal visage loomed from the greater darkness. Kylo's loathing for the dark sider grew. _"Why have you come? Seeking greater knowledge?"_

"I need to heal a light saber wound."

 _"Your own?"_

He sensed amusement, reliving the moment when he had removed his helmet in the throne room _. No Vader. Just a child in a mask_. "Yes." He dropped his gaze respectfully to the mist-shrouded ground.

 _"No. I think not. You're thinking of that woman."_

His skin prickled. Snoke could always read his mind, plumb his deepest fears. Even after death, Snoke's presence leached off his strength.

 _"My murderer."_ Snoke was larger than life, hovering over Kylo's kneeling form. _"You soften when you think of her. Pathetic child, do you think she wants you?"_

 _She wants me like no one else ever has_.

 _"Do you think she **actually** wants you - a **monster**?"_ A chuckle floated over him. _"It's only pity for a failure. Her destiny is to be greater than you - we all know it."_ The ever present whispered chant of the Sith code spoken in an ancient tongue waxed and waned in the distance.

He felt his confidence withering away. His chin sank to his chest. Doubts were threatening to pull him under. "She doesn't…," his conviction lacked strength. Kylo heard himself and was reminded of Ben Solo arguing with his nightmares. _His parents surely didn't feel that way. Uncle Luke didn't hate him or think he was useless_. "I can still use her power. But, to do that I need to gain her trust."

 _"Using her, remember that, apprentice."_ Snoke was retreating into the shadows. _"I have the knowledge you seek. But, you must prove yourself dedicated to the darkness."_

The moment he opened his eyes, he felt alone.

 _I'm not alone_.

He thought of her dark side energy, the slice of light contained within her. _What more could he do to prove himself to the dark side?_ The energies shifted in the room. Someone had been listening in, communing with the dark side as well. Disturbed, Kylo prodded forcefully, causing the woman to appear. Saskia bowed formally, her helmet concealing her expression. He almost felt her disgust _. How much did she know?_

"You weren't called for. Is there a reason why you're here now?"

"I finished my mission."

Surely that didn't require her to report face to face. Kylo saw her shift anxiously. "But, that's not all."

"Why were you contacting Snoke's dark side ghost?" Through the vocoder, Saskia's tone sounded hard, full of bite. "What would you have to say to him?"

"Why did you claim to not find the holotapes from the salt planet Crait and the desert planet of Eridu?" Kylo didn't expect a reaction. The woman tensed, her shoulders lifting. "Your fellow knight, Valkyn, presented the evidence from Eridu not long ago. What was on it, Saskia?"

"You should know if he gave it to you. The reason I couldn't locate it was simply because he had taken it already." Her fisted hands at her sides loosened. She chuckled softly, the sound grating, harsh through the helmet. "Valkyn chafes at being under your command. He walks a knife's edge with you after losing the favoritism Snoke bestowed on him." Kylo sensed her challenge. Saskia was smart. She knew she could win through words. "Why wouldn't he sow discord among us? He looks to weaken your position and how else better than to accuse your allies? Feed your rampant paranoia by seeing enemies in the shadows." She folded her arms over her breast. "Valkyn tried to kill me once, Ren. You may have forgotten it, but I certainly haven't."

…

 _Through victory…my chains are broken._

She held her defensive posture, aware of the blazing heat of the saber in her two-handed grip. "Why was the Sith code considered wrong?" She had thrown herself into her Form III training immediately; glad when Master Kit Fisto had offered to test her defense against the form she was currently most familiar with.

Her opponent pulled off a quick slash that she instantly blocked, counter-riposting. "Hmm, why do you think it was wrong? Recite it to me." Jaina didn't get a chance to watch his footwork. Fisto was fast on his feet, faster than most opponents, without the Force augmenting his natural ability. She kept up a light defense, the sabers flashing from contact. "Peace is a lie, there is only passion." She ducked beneath his sharp upper cut, slicing low. Fisto leapt upward over her. "Through passion I gain strength. Through strength, I gain power." Her hand touched the ground, propelling herself around. His green saber lanced where she had been. Jaina sprung up to her feet. "Through power, I gain victory." She spun around him. "Through victory, my chains are broken." The two sabers clashed against his side. Fisto had twisted the blade around, blocking her vicious side sweep. In the hands of a seasoned duelist, the blow was potentially fatal. She was a little surprised he didn't immediately criticize her break of momentum.

"The Force shall free me."

She pulled off with a shower of sparks flying harmlessly against the flooring.

Fisto grinned at her. "Alright, now recite the Jedi code."

"There is no emotion, there is peace."

He attempted to disarm her. Jaina kept a hold of her saber, breaking off with a blade spin. The hilt twirled through her grip, revolving a narrow deflective circle. "There is no ignorance, there is knowledge." She resumed the blade drop stance of Soresu's alternate opening. "There is no passion, there is serenity." She became the eye of the storm, a calm center diverting his flurry of Form I attacks. "There is no chaos, there is harmony." She came close to disarming him. The two blades crossed, unable to break the defensive posture. "There is no death, there is the Force."

He stepped back, dismissing the blade. "There you go. The Sith were obsessed with immortality. One thousand years ago, the Ordu Aspectu believed they'd found the key to immortality. Rur was a heretic, condemned for his teachings. He was a fallen Jedi, whereas the Sith who possessed knowledge of soul transfer already had the means of preserving themselves. It was this selfishness that the Jedi Order rejected. In the end, we are luminous beings, Jaina."

"Soul transfer…why didn't Emperor Palpatine utilize the technique once his body was destroyed?"

"Some five hundred years ago, Darth Gravid, a Sith Lord who fell to the light, destroyed many of the ancient holocrons of the Sith Order. He was condemned as a heretic by the later Sith Lords and viewed as a crazed lunatic by the Jedi. It can only be assumed that the knowledge of transfer was lost during his lifetime."

 _That isn't very nice._ The crimson light from her blade dappled her slight shadow. Jaina studied the effect it had as she turned the blade over. The emitter hummed in response. "He saved the galaxy in some ways from an even worse threat of undying Sith. He sounds like an interesting character. I would like to meet him."

"He isn't of the light side. I'm not even certain he is among the dark side ghosts."

"Why? He turned toward the light - if Lord Vader, the galaxy's most hated man could be redeemed, then why not someone else?"

"I don't know everything, Jaina. I only know for sure that those who accept redemption can become one with the Force." He saw her sudden frustration, chiding. "Come now, you've been having nightmares for a while. What is it you see? Reach into your memory. You can pull out your own memories. Tell me what it is you see."

She hesitated then began to speak. "I see…a swamp world located in a vast nebulous void. There is a sprawling city hewn from a natural forest. I usually dream about flying a starfighter, but as of late, I see only the city like I'm coming closer to it. One day, I walked through a deserted industrial quarter. Another time, I could see the fortress-like palace in the distance. There were hooded figures waiting in a long double row framing a walkway between rising black and white towers. I feel…," she felt self-conscious under his scrutiny. "I think that if I keep getting closer to that walkway, I'll find something I'm looking for."

"What are you looking for?"

"Answers."

…

There was a flurry of activity on the bridge of the Ravager. Two years of quiet on the fronts of galactic rebellion had served to stagnate Farady's crew. The man himself gave orders, strolled from station to station, brisk and as far as anyone who ever knew him would say, cheerful.

"We'll be making our final approach within an eta of twenty minutes." He said aloud, reading off the stats from the monitor. General Hux's disdainful sneer had lessened as his green eyes flickered over the distant shape of Arkanis.

"The shields will be up."

Farady looked unconcerned. "They know we're coming." The captain's gaze slid over the other who stood wrapped in silence, brooding over his own thoughts. Ren was paler than usual; the color had fled his long face leaving his skin waxen. He looked sick if Farady was any judge. Ren's gloved hands shook slightly as he accepted a cup of caf from a circulating droid.

"Is everything alright, Supreme Leader?"

The other man scarcely paid him attention.

"If there are any visitors," Farady stepped closer, prompting. "Shall I have them await your return?"

"No."

 _So he's back to one word answers - and he was making such progress._ Farady retreated to marking down planet fall. _I wonder if this has anything to do with the absence of that Ionone woman_. As his thoughts drifted, he caught motion from the corner of his eye. Cups levitated off the droid's tray, scattering hot caf all over the polished black floor. An army of mouse droids deployed from a hidden vent, scattering underfoot to clean up.

Hux glanced as if to ask _now what's wrong with him._

Farady shrugged minutely, their silent communication unnoticed by Ren.

"Sir, long range scanners indicate a flotilla of ships approaching." One of the monitors spoke up.

"Wonderful." Farady picked his way over the droids, crossing to the monitor. "They're the Arkanisian fleet, I presume. Alright, shields up. Patch me through to the lead ship."

 _Likely this is their way of offering an escort_. He hoped it didn't come to blowing ships out of the sky. Hux shifted impatiently, throwing him a dagger-filled look. Farady could see the shapes of the ships emerging from the planetary atmosphere through the massive viewport.

"I'll take over now, Captain. You have no experience in the art of negotiation."

Farady stepped aside, blandly gesturing to the holoplate. "I wouldn't think you had either."

Hux drew up short, his green eyes flashing. "Need I remind you of your position? You are subservient to me."

"I meant your preference has always been gunboat diplomacy." Farady offered with a smirk. "Take it as an observation, sir, not an offense."

…

She leaned against the railing overlooking the AT-M6 docking station, her thoughts drifting back to her brief conversation with Luke. _The Force…responded to her. Wasn't it the same for all Force sensitives?_ She couldn't imagine Luke as a young man struggling to save himself from a Wampa, monstrous creatures. She had a vision of Luke albeit a false one she admitted now, as being stronger than most. Luke was a living legend, but how many of the stories about his life were true? How much of it was popular heresy?

 _I couldn't be wrong. I felt his strength even being disconnected from the Force on Ahch-to._

Luke claimed to be the last Jedi. _But, there is another Jedi now, or somewhat of one. It counts doesn't it? I can call myself a Jedi padawan, right?_ The sound of a slow measured tread came up. Jaina half-turned surprised. "Commander!" BB-9e peered around her legs, beeping its own form of greeting. Hand sliding along the railing, the old man surveyed her with his usual grim amusement. "Ah, Jaina, I haven't seen you much lately. I suppose you've been occupied with your training with Supreme Leader Ren. How is he these days?"

"I wouldn't know, sir. I've been keeping my distance."

"Oh? No problems, I trust. He doesn't seem to be the type to control himself."

She colored, tardily realizing his meaning. "No, well...I felt like I was getting too wrapped up in him. I thought that now was the time to start working harder. It's difficult to see him this way. He...distracts me."

Duma stopped beside her, regarding her concerned. "Unrequited feelings?"

Jaina couldn't think of her berth, her home, the Star Destroyer than anything less than a machine of war. She couldn't see the AT-M6s down below and not think of Obi-Wan testing her tactics. _"What would you do if you were facing a ring of AT-M6s, similar to the kind housed on this ship?"_ She felt sick at her own duplicity and not at all comfortable in her skin. "Some." The word came from her lips hesitantly. "I'm afraid of next year and the year after that. I'm afraid of his feelings changing and being unable to keep standing at his side."

"I don't think I quite understand. You want there to be change between you two, but you're afraid of hurting him...well, let me tell you. It's difficult to hurt Kylo Ren. He isn't...a good person or even worthy of admiration." The commander's blue eyes crinkled in the corners. "General Hux wants to move against him. Oh, he's plotting on it all the time, but what he needs is to prove Kylo Ren is incapable of leading the First Order - say through insanity. Lord Ren doesn't always act like the sanest person."

"I know." She found herself smiling and wanting to cry at the same time. "I-I...slapped him not too long ago."

"I'm not too surprised he didn't kill you." The old man muttered, gaze far off. "He always cared a great deal...,"

"What do you mean? He is hardly ever nice to me." She could list the reasons why Duma was wrong. "He called me a thing for a long time and still sometimes calls me by my old numerical designation. He...wanted to force-choke me when I only wanted to help him." She looked down at her hands. "There's only so much one can take."

"That's true in a lot of ways. So you're saying you care about him, but find it impossible to love him. Well, that isn't so contradictory. I was hurt when your mother married someone else, of course if she had turned to me in her later life, I would've embraced her all the same. I always did feel blessed that she left you in my care."

"Sir, I-" _I'm sorry_. "I-I thought so sometimes. I...I kind of wished you were my father."

Some of his impassivity slipped. He smiled slightly if not a little pained. "Wouldn't you prefer to have a father who was someone in the eyes of the galaxy and not just a nobody continually passed up for promotion?"

"I would rather have someone who is there for me even if he wasn't anyone at all."

...

 _Luke Skywalker turning over a new leaf_. The thought was one of sarcasm. Helping out in the medbay which received its daily share of accident prone people, occasional scuffles broke out among the children in the nursery, ensuring there was no shortage of arrivals. Luke worked alongside the med droid and Dr. Kalonia, channeling healing through the Force. It was the least he could do.

The one thing he refused was to train another group of Force sensitives. Fel had suggested picking through the fleet, to gather a possible group together leading him to assume someone had already marked the appearance of Force sensitives. They didn't need a group of individuals strong in the Force garnering attention to their corner of the galaxy went his reasoning among other things.

He sat back and glanced over the datapad provided. It was almost time to clock out for the end of his shift. _Force healing required a positive connection to the light along with a well of inner strength to manifest_. It was also draining his energy reserves. There was movement near the door to the ward. Luke glanced, catching a glimpse of dark hair. It was a little girl who had entered, hesitantly edging closer.

"Hello there."

The little girl put her head down, mumbling the words. "Syal Fel."

"You're -"

"Jag's niece."

 _Oh_. He saw it now. The tiny black-haired girl shied away, her shyness reminiscent of someone.

"Do you need a check up, Syal?" Luke was rusty with children, but he figured a gentle tone would put her at ease.

"No. Are you…are you really a Jedi?"

 _Oh, that question_. Luke could see she had put a lot of thought into her question. Syal wore garments of a slightly finer quality than the other children. Her silky black hair spilled down her shoulders, her one concession to childishness, a pink bow fastened to the side of her parted hair.

"Yes, I am." He said in utmost seriousness. Luke extended his hand, applying the minutest of pressures to the closest object near at hand. Syal brightened, her eyes rounding with wonder.

"The Force doesn't belong to the Jedi alone."

"I wish I could do things like that." Syal said, pouting.

 _Away for three years, searching the galaxy for knowledge on the ancient Jedi ways…and for answers,_ Luke saw himself returning home to the house by the lake. He could see _his younger self smiling almost reminiscently at the house he had built within the low rise of the hill sheltered by high winds surrounded by trees and soft grass. He could see a little girl skipping stones across the water with a slight motion of her hand_.

 _"Papa! Papa! Look at what I can do!" The little girl turned, exclaiming. The smoothened stones lifted from the water, balancing perfectly atop one another rising like a miniature cairn._

" _How do you know who I am?" Luke walked up slowly behind her, reliving his own early attempts at controlling the energy between all living things._

" _I saw it."_

" _Where?" Her mother must've shown her the holovids he occasionally sent. His mind leapt to the only explanation he wanted to accept._

" _Here." The girl tapped her head._

"Not everyone thinks the Force is something wonderful."

 _"I don't understand it."_

 _He sat at a long gone table, face buried in his hands. Across the room, a datapad played a video of singing Kowakian monkey lizards. The little girl lay on her stomach, feet kicking in the air in time to the music._

 _There's always a choice to be light or dark._

Syal watched his face, saw the spasm that went over it. "Why do you look sad, Mister Jedi?"

"I'm not sad…when you're older you'll see that sometimes memories and regrets pile up on you. One thing leads to another and all you're left with is what was." Luke forced a smile to reassure her. Syal regarded him doubtfully, slipping her hand into the pocket of her jumper. She had a number of squares wrapped in waxen paper. The sugary scent hit him before she slipped the candy into his hand.

Someone began calling her name nearby.

As Luke watched her skip away happily into her guardian's care, his smile disappeared. He opened his hand exposing the pink square of sweet taff.

 _Three years old and six going on seven._

 _They were growing fast._

 _"Give it time, sweetheart." That's what she said, draped across his back, her warm breath gentle on his cheek. "The light will come out in her. My father said I was born wrapped in darkness, why shouldn't the same be said of our child?" That's how Palpatine knew she was special._

 _But, there's still darkness in you…and her. . ._

 _He was thinking of fate and destiny. His fate to always fight the darkness, his greater destiny neglected for two lives. It was hard to remember it when there was soft hair tickling his bare shoulder in the morning, when he picked up the giggling, squirming little body in his arms and thought the darkness was maybe a little less today. She was somehow brighter in the Force and growing with love and care into radiance._

 _But, not at that moment._

 _T2-LC, affectionately called Elsie by Han and Leia, had gone into panic mode over the bright red scratches and bite marks decorating both children. They fought like wildebeests, rolling on the floor, hissing and spitting. The droid had managed to separate them, chastising the smaller, hunched little figure who shuffled over to him. She made a perfect imitative version of her mother's angry face, but Luke wasn't fooled. She was about to start the waterworks._

 _"I don't need that, Elsie." Luke said, extending his flesh hand for the little girl to come closer. The droid stood back with the med kit and bacta spray. He was aware of Ben's angry stare from across the room. Ben was tall for his age, but he cried often and threw temper tantrums whenever he didn't get his way._

 _"What happened?" He asked as the soft green healing light erased the scratches._

 _"Ben said I was…dark." The tiny murmur came, her gaze transfixed by the green Force glow. "I was born from a dark sideeer…," she hesitated, her sentences a little broken, a little unclear. "He wouldn't take it back." Luke touched her chin. Ben was still watching them, greed and jealousy seething in his eyes. Ben had Elsie to patch up his scrapes, he had empty rooms to talk to. Now more than ever, Luke was painfully aware of the difference between people; Leia's in particular._

 _"Go to the kitchen, Beex will give you blue milk."_

 _"I don't like blue milk! I want sweet taff!"_

 _"Go on. We'll get sweet taff later." He patted her shoulder. The little girl toddled off appeased, dragging the battered Stormtrooper doll that had sparked innumerable fights. Then, Luke faced his nephew, gesturing for him to come closer. Ben dragged his feet. It was his birthday and his parents weren't home yet. Luke gently took his arms, studying the small circular bites; the top row had a crooked tooth._

 _"Ben, why did you say that?" Luke healed the bites, feeling the boy try to pull away. Flashing dark eyes flickered up to his face, defiance in them. Ben thought he was going to receive a whipping from his uncle. "Ben, tell me." Luke persisted, holding his gaze._

 _Finally, as the sullen look abated into one of guilt, he mumbled, coloring. "Daddy said…she was a beast. He said her mom was a …a…dark sider." Ben's smooth brow beneath his mop of curly locks, furrowed. "She told daddy something. It made him angry."_

 _Really, Han…after all this time…, he thought perhaps Han's fear was getting out of hand. They had all decided since Leia's pregnancy, that they would keep Vader's legacy secret. It was far better to maintain silence as the New Republic struggled to gain support from the galaxy. But, a beast…? What had she seen in Han's mind? Luke wondered if other people saw less of him in his child than he did. Sure it was unsettling when someone so small saw something in your head -_

 _"I don't want you to ever repeat it. Ben, do you hear me?"_

 _The boy had never seen him angry. He flinched and tried to pull away again, tears moistening the widening hazel eyes. "Is it true?"_

 _Does it matter?_

 _Luke didn't want it to matter, not with the sunshine of Chandrila streaming in through the window leading to the apartment's balcony. Everything that had made them what they were was in the past. Darth Vader, the Empire, the Emperor's Hand…it all belonged dead, buried and forgotten._

 _"Let the past die, Ben." He pulled the boy into a firm embrace. Unused to affection, Ben stiffened and then finally relaxed, burying his face in Luke's shoulder. "Someday, when you're older, you'll understand why you shouldn't say those things."_

 _..._

The rain fell endlessly from the late afternoon cloud cover. Kylo observed the cadence of droplets against the transparisteel pane. He was restless. This was purely Hux's territory. There was decorum to be followed, greetings to be made. He uncrossed his legs, foot tapping quietly under the table.

 _What was the point of this?_ They could simply bombard the world from above if the terms weren't favorable. He affixed a slightly irritated scowl in the general's direction. Arkanis may have been Hux's homeworld, but that didn't mean he had any such attachment to the regency world.

"There are other methods of assuring future prosperity and shared interest." One of the ministers said. They were grey-haired, robes in ridiculous colors with adornment the cost of several thousand credits between them all. "If Lord Ren will take a look over our proposal."

He didn't make deals.

He didn't accept anything less than what he wanted.

"The matter has gone on long enough. There are no deals, no proposals. Acknowledging the First Order's conditions is your sole duty." Kylo's mild rebuking tones silenced the room. Hux glared at him, but made no move to speak otherwise. The ginger-haired general was learning his place.

"I'll wait your favorable response."

Once away from the lavish rooms of the little palace, Hux strode after him, entering the lift with a quick glance around to see if anyone had noticed his hasty exit.

"They were going to suggest a union, one that could arguably benefit both sides. Important men always need to secure their legacy." The domed lift offered perfect views of the spires of the city washed in grey hues. "Unless you think you're going to live forever." Hux sneered softly.

"You're suggesting marriage?" Kylo watched the rain spatters contort into a myriad of shapes. The word summoned up a host of images, not altogether pleasant ones of his parents and dimly, Luke. The latter he pulled away from, his lips twisting in distaste. Vader had been married once in his lifetime or Anakin Skywalker had been, depending on the view one took of his illustrious grandfather. He wouldn't marry anyone. The thought was repugnant mostly for the attendant reminders.

"I would think that described a union. Consider it a gesture of security. What kind of image would that present to the galaxy…a dynasty."

"That is the farthest thing in your mind." Kylo remarked caustically. He could sense the seething bubble of Armitage's thoughts. They were mostly focused on something or someone.

"I referred to image." Hux persisted haughtily. "If you were displeased at the thought of touching the woman-"

 _Ah…so Hux was suggesting there was something deviant about his physical mores_. _How wrong he was_. Kylo came close to enlightening him preferably at the end of a Force choke; how the thought of one woman could arouse feelings he had ridden himself of. As pleasant as the thought was of strangling the general, he held back. They had to present a somewhat united front.

"There is someone else far more suitable." The words hung between them. He didn't have to say the name or describe her in any detail. Hux was thinking about her, jealousy and fear intermingled. He almost thought it was a pity Hux's cowardice made him contemptible as well as his greed for power. Real power came from the Force, not through the petty contrivances of domination. As Kylo's thoughts drifted, he glanced skyward. The lift had stopped at the glass-walled tunnel leading to the hangar where the ships of dignitaries docked.

The feeling of wrongness persisted.

…

 _I can't sleep...,_

With her sudden frustrated toss of the blankets, the droid came awake with a chirp.

"I just can't sleep right now." Jaina twisted her hair up into a bun, blinking in the sudden profusion of light from above. BB-9e removed an arm from the wall socket. "I'm...I'm not tired enough and besides, I can just take it easy later." She bounded up, stuffing her feet into her shoes. Tossing on a long-sleeved shirt from the foot of the bed, she carried her saber in hand. "It's not like I'm disturbing anybody." She muttered to the droid. "It's late right now. Nobody's awake except the wraith watch."

The training hall was silent, darkened in the corners. Her breath became a soft mist, the cold felt a living thing against her skin. She felt the first stirrings of trepidation, the slight lick of fear kept her hesitating on the threshold. Jaina didn't understand herself. She didn't feel threatened exactly, but there was something. Darkness pooled in the shadowed corners of the room. She tried to shake off her unease, forcing herself to take up her usual position in the middle of the room. BB-9e released the blaster droids from the wall. Jaina had gone through her customary practice, advancing through the spinning deflects of Soresu. Obi-Wan had promised that if she improved her deflection skills, he would begin showing her his famous or rather infamous defense velocity technique. She knew once he had impressed Count Dooku with his superb mastery of Form III. She twitched her shoulders uneasily, motioning the blaster droids away with the Force.

"Someone's here." She said fretfully as BB-9e beeped, asking if she was tired already. The droid rolled around her, its photoreceptor eye intently probing the room. "Who are you? Show yourself!"

A low throaty chuckle emanated from thin air. The temperature dropped further, registering on BB-9e's interior senses. Jaina tensed and reached out, shoving the non-entity back. A vague outline of trailing robes had begun to form, the body rippling as the invisible energy struck it. Jaina had a glimpse of darkness - a glimpse of a discolored, claw-like hand shoving.

She slammed backward with a suddenness that took her breath away. Pain erupted up and down her spine. BB-9e swiveled around, beeping anxiously. Jaina collapsed to the floor, grimacing as she staggered upright.

 _My own Force…turned against me…_

"I wouldn't expect you to know my face or name. My time was long before yours, child." The Muun's withered face emerged surrounded by the deep black cowl-like hood.

She shrank back in horror. "I know what you are."

"Plagueis was my taken name after I was apprenticed. Darth Plagueis, my full title in life." He seemed to take delight in her repulsion, smirking.

"Sidious's Master." She raised her saber. "What do you want with me?" The red beam ignited, shading her face with crimson light.

"Strange, you bare your teeth at me, but do not wield your saber in malice. Why?"

"You're not Snoke. I can defend myself well enough without resorting to hatred. You still haven't told me why you're here."

The Sith's forward motion appeared a distorted glide as if he couldn't be bothered with a pretense of life "I wanted to see you…this light shining in the galaxy's darkness."

She followed the path of his pacing motion with her eyes, turning slightly to adjust her stance. "Curiosity then. You've been watching me."

"We all have. But, that's only a minor technicality. Your mother -"

"What do you know about my mother?" Jaina asked sharply.

"I never met her in life." The Muun waned. "My unfaithful apprentice - ah, always an apprentice to a master, wished to make her his apprentice. Sidious knew she wasn't powerful enough to challenge Vader. Nevertheless, he trained her in the dark arts the way he trained Maul."

Jaina hesitantly lowered her saber. She felt a slight flicker of warning, sensing the apprehension from the Jedi. "So what? My mother turned to the light. She repented all the bad she had done in her early life. She sacrificed to find a way to kill Marek who called himself Snoke."

"Really now? What is it the Jedi say? Only those who accept redemption can become one with the Force?"

Disturbed, she remembered Fisto's words. "I don't know what you're talking about. Leave me be. I have no quarrel with the Sith."

Plagueis drifted closer to her. Ice punctuated the room, absorbing the warmth in the air. Jaina felt the cold down to her bones, shivering as his soulless golden eyes surveyed her. "Have the Jedi told you where she is?"

"I…," _they wouldn't tell me_. "N-No."

"Have they kept it from you?" He surveyed her sympathetically. "What else have the Jedi kept hidden from you, my child? She is among us."

"No." Jaina denied it with one word, calm, so calm she could almost believe in her denial. But inside, the Force heaved violently like the ocean deafening her reasoning.

"Yes! That was the outcome of all her good intentions." Plagueis said gently. "Her dedication to the light was forgotten in her hatred. She died full of it and not even her love for you saved her soul."

Jaina let loose a sudden shriek of fury, the saber carving through the air. She had moved thoughtlessly, without acknowledgement of what she was trying to do. The one thing in her head remained the need to silence the Sith. Plagueis didn't move; he waited for her to give into her cathartic _need_ to destroy. Jaina swung the saber down from behind her head, splitting the crown of his brow down to his lips. She felt the ghosting edge of his cloak rip, the wet gush of cold, gelatinous blood and brains on her hands. The sensation was unnervingly fleeting.

"You can see her, Jaina. All you have to do is meditate on your darkest emotions." Plagueis' form dissipated into smoke with those last words. "Free yourself from their limitations. Through the dark side, you'll come to know unimaginable power."

...

"Can't sleep either?"

He looked up to see he had been joined on his vigil by someone. The younger man had unbuttoned the top half of his green jacket. His black hair stood up like he had risen from a restless bed.

"You could say that."

"For me, it's worries. One problem fixes itself, another dozen crop up. The Steel Talon reported the other day that its shipment of hyperfuel hadn't come as scheduled. Lekauf authorized a party of trusted men to investigate the drop off location aboard a derelict space station. We received word earlier that the men were slain with the insignia of a sunrise painted in their blood."

"Gruesome. The insignia…it's a syndicate's? Those are the worst people in the galaxy to owe."

"Way to state the obvious. They were the only ones who came to our aid. The New Republic wouldn't lift a finger to help despite the capitulation we made to their demands. We were labeled as traitors and murderers, with death promised to any Imperial officer who dared approach the New Republic."

"Anyone recall the Battle of Jakku?"

"Rax led them. Thrawn saw the folly of the plan and argued long with the Shadow Council, but he was eventually overruled. It was people loyal to him that recognized his abilities as a leader who left in the early months while Rax destroyed the Empire's fleet from the inside out."

"So you took refuge at Niruan and other far flung Imperial outposts trying to make sense of yourselves."

And when the dust cleared, there was nothing left; only scarred survivors Sloane tried to rebuild into our beloved Empire.

"After Thrawn's murder, command devolved to Gilad Pellaeon, who this Star Destroyer is named for. He passed command to my father when bloodburn claimed his life."

"Now, you're in command."

"Among others. I can tell you, being Captain and Commander isn't all it cracks up to be. Now, what's your sleeplessness about?"

Luke tried to smile. "It's far more personal than worrying over people counting on your leadership."

 _There was fire and blood beneath a stormy sky. Destruction and my students slain…flesh burned beneath crackling flames. Hvitur side by side with Taverre and not far away from Saskia's out flung hand, little Zahara split from throat to stomach, the sides of her flesh scorched from a plasma blade._

"It was the old nightmare of the night the Jedi Academy was destroyed. But, it was much worse."

 _Someone was still alive out there._

"I followed the sound of crying to part of a low bearing wall that had collapsed. The stone was cool to the touch while the heat from the flames bathed my face in sweat." Luke's voice broke. "I was so glad one had survived."

 _It's a father's worst nightmare._

 _Sweetheart…what're you doing here?_

"She was in pieces. I couldn't put her back together fast enough. Then, he came with his tear-stained face. His light saber sizzled in the light drizzle that had begun to fall."

 _Ben was not a boy, not yet a man. He was the way I remembered him._

" _Ben, no! You're not taking her from me!_ I held her to me, my hands slipping in the hot sticky blood flowing from her wounds. My nephew glared at me. I could feel his hatred, his rage blistering beneath his skin.

 _"You lost her yourself, old man."_

 _As he spoke, she looked at me, those seawater eyes round with pain and fear. I could feel her slipping away from me. The Force was taking her piece by piece, swallowing up her radiance. "Father, why have you forsaken me?" She asked and I couldn't answer her. "My life is gone."_

"He stabbed her in my arms. I know it was a mercy killing. Ben Solo only had mercy for her, not for anyone else." Luke flinched from the imaginary echo of sizzling plasma piercing flesh. "I woke up still able to feel her blood on me."

"Did it really happen?"

"No. It was just a horrible fantasy." He lifted his face to Fel who saw the tears swimming in his reddened eyes. The younger man walked over to him, clapping his shoulder gently. "Hey, you look like you need a drink. Come on, let's go to my office."

…

"That girl…who was she?" Fel had poured out a generous hand of whiskey. The amber liquid glowed in the fine cut crystal shot glasses. "It may seem insensitive to ask, but I know something has been troubling you. Of course we have a mountain load of problems between us and where we want to be in the end, but I can tell that your hurt is much deeper."

Luke lifted puffy, bloodshot eyes from the offering. "You're very perceptive. I feel that's partly what makes you an effective leader."

He lifted up the glass, inclining it slightly as a toast. "I try."

"Have you ever had a family, Captain?" The surrealism of the moment didn't fail to pierce his reservations. Luke couldn't help but stare at the Imperial banners, similar to the ones that had haunted his dreams on _Home One_. His bionic hand twitched from where it rested in his lap.

"No…I…I've never had the time, my duties consume most of my attention. Someday, I hope I'll find the right woman."

I hope you do.

The whiskey went down like fire. "Not many people know this…or even would believe it, I know, but at one point in my life, I had a family."

…

 _The hour was late._

 _The panel overlooked the nursery with the occasional med droid passing through. Luke's reflection was soon joined by a woman with braided brown hair crowning her brow. Side by side, they stood, observing the tiny lives in the room beyond._

 _"There was supposed to be two."_

 _She looked surprised. "Twins?"_

 _"Like us." The other infants were dim sparks of life in the Force. He could see them through his senses, with closed eyes. One enveloped the room with an aura of darkness. The others sparkled like tiny lights in the resultant luminescence. Leia was looking through the rudimentary human sense, her gaze darting from the infants to the stony cast of his face. She didn't need to feel with her emotions, to sense the source of his concern._

 _"You don't think-?" She tried to smile. "Luke, the old story of the midi-chlorians in the bloodstream…you don't really believe it, do you?"_

 _He didn't know what to believe, he only knew what he could see defied his knowledge of the Force. "We were going to name the boy, Jacen. If you and Han have another…he could be Anakin."_

 _"No, thanks. Ben is enough." She disclaimed with a soft laugh. Luke failed to smile entirely at her lighthearted attempt. "She's alone now." He mused watching as the baby who hadn't cried as the other infants had at one point or another, stretched out as if trying to find someone who wasn't there._

 _Brightness intruded into Luke's senses._

 _Unnoticed, someone had crept into the nursery, tentatively seeking out the source of darkness, although little Ben Solo didn't understand the compulsion._

 _"Luke, look." Leia gestured to the small boy trying to peer into the plastine cradle, smiling. "She'll never be alone." The next moment, the baby burst out crying, a wail of pure agitation and anger in the Force as Ben poked and prodded her little face._

 _"I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing."_

…

"Before I knew it, I had a wife…I was going to be the father of twins."

 _I had a family._

"I was a Jedi at heart. But, somehow it was all falling away. I had responsibilities to my wife and to those children who weren't born yet. I hope you find someone who will love you as much as I was loved. My wife loved with all the passion of the dark side. There was nothing she wouldn't have done for me. No trial or foe she wouldn't face at my side."

"She certainly sounded unique. What happened to her?"

"She was murdered - oh, I was careless. I left them behind for my greater destiny as Ben Solo's master. I could see so much potential in him." He sighed, hands resting on the table. "So I neglected the people who depended on me most. My wife…capitulated just like you, to the demands of the New Republic. She could wield no light saber, nor have a weapon in our house. She was planet-bound under pain of execution on any civilized world."

"The twins…your children, where are they?"

"There was only one who survived birth. She was murdered alongside her mother on Chandrila."

"Are you sure they couldn't have survived somewhere? Your wife was a Force user and strong as you say. I find it difficult to believe they were both killed. What if the First Order came after them?" He refilled the two glasses. "Snoke would've been interested in your daughter. Correct me if I'm mistaken, but your child had you and her mother's lineage, both powerful Force users; Ben Solo had only his mother's side. Your child should be stronger than him."

Luke could see his reflection in the tiny circle of amber liquid. "She would've been, but…that was why I refused to train her. She could never be a Jedi." _And that's where I made my first mistake_. "You don't know how much it killed me when she was born, Captain Fel. When I held her in my arms for the first time, I saw nothing but darkness in her."

...

The Star Dreadnought hovered stationary beyond the gravitational orbit of a small moon. Arkanis appeared as a green world shrouded in heavy atmospheric pressure manifesting as cloud cover. She flew in low, careful to follow all docking procedures. BB-9e beeped about the command shuttle missing. Jaina pushed aside her discomfort, "I know, that's why I had you analyze the flight patterns." Jaina parked the shuttle, disembarking as a squadron of pilots jogged by. She garnered a few glances from the stationed Stormtroopers, but not enough to warrant suspicion.

The turbolift at the end of the hall glided to a stop. The panel revolved open smoothly to the last person she wanted to see. Captain Farady held the door for her and BB-9e. His uniform was neatly pressed; he carried a datapad under his arm.

"You missed Lord Ren. He is attending a summit on Arkanis with the queen's advisers."

"I didn't come to see him."

Silence lapsed between them. She could hear the man's mind working, the churn of his thoughts -

Jaina attempted to clarify his assumptions. "Kylo Ren seeks to train me. He and I are nothing to one another." Farady was bold enough to look her in the eye. Despite her dislike of him, she admired his composure.

"You want there to be more. Anyone can see it when you're in his presence." Farady broke glances to check the number counter. Jaina silently counted off the number of floors to reach before her stop. BB-9e's head swiveled between her tense posture and to the captain's pensive expression.

"They say the queen of Arkanis is widowed recently. She is young yet and in control of resources. It could be a political match."

"Is that supposed to mean something to me?" Jaina asked roughly. She felt her hands shake, her insides twisted in agony.

"General Hux is pressuring the queen's advisors. He traveled there on the pretext of arranging cadets for the new flight academy rebuilt on the ruins of the old one." Farady put his gloved hand out, pausing the lift. "I merely wanted to ensure there isn't a problem in the time to come. Fractional fighting among the upper echelon of the First Order is the beginning of the end. You are powerful, Jade. I am not the fool Hux is. His underestimation of the dark side nearly cost him his life on numerous occasions."

 _You know who I am_.

Farady nodded slightly. "Gaius explained to me about your little stunt with the Emperor's Hand. I know whose line you come from as well as who your mother was. She hid within the First Order fleet for sixteen years on _the_ _same ship_ as Supreme Leader Snoke. Now either Snoke's power was inflated heresy or she was something else entirely."

Jaina swallowed with difficulty. "Then, we are of the same mind, Captain. Why tell me all this?"

"I don't want to be your enemy."

Jaina gestured with a curl of her fingers unseen by Farady. The lift began gliding upward once more. He took his hand off the panel, glancing to her. Jaina could see a mirror image of her own face in the cross-shaped panel segmenting the doors. The gleaming chrome reflected her unhappiness.

"Kylo Ren is his own person. Whether or not through machinations of General Hux, he can make his own decisions." She shrugged. "I just have to accept them."

…

"That's strange; I thought there would be someone here." Jaina entered the training hall after a brief pause on the apartment level. She had considered going to visit Leia, but thought better of it. She needed a clear head and wanting to pick through Leia's memories of Kylo as a youngling was much too tempting.

 _Oh, well_. Releasing her disappointment, she went through a minor litany of saber kata.

She felt something - a sense of being watched. Jaina spun around, the saber raised. In the darkened corner, someone stood there. The gleaming black lines of a hideous mask loomed outward. She caught her breath, startled. Someone was there, watching her and she hadn't felt them until now. _This was getting to be too common an occurrence_.

"Who are you?"

But, she thought she knew. Who else would wear a helmet and ribbed tunic made of heat suppressant fabric. The chest was thin, narrow, the body slim for a male yet his physique contained muscle. Jaina's gaze drifted over him, measuring the casual indifference in his pace.

"Officially, one of the Knights of Ren. But, you know that already." The slight amusement in his tone irked her. "I've been watching you for about twenty minutes. You almost sensed me." He clapped his gloved palms together, producing a dry rasping sound. "But, you didn't. I'll give you points for that. Not many notice me the first time."

She blinked in surprise, deciding to play his bluff. He thought her comment to BB-9e referenced him. It was a good thing she hadn't spoken aloud who she had thought was there.

"I was going to visit you a while ago, but Lord Ren said you were indisposed. I don't understand why he was hiding you away." The knight lightly fingered the curved black hilt fastened to his thigh. She had never seen anything like it.

"You don't seem special." He came within ten paces of her. Something about her stance amused him even more. "Why so aggressive? We're on the same side."

"Are you sure? Your Force signature is anything but welcoming."

He was silent for a moment. "More points. Saskia underestimated the degrees of ally and for her trouble, I smashed her face in."

Jaina had a flash of the Supremacy, a ring of knights forming a circle around the two combatants. Blows enhanced by the force smashed into Saskia's face plate - he was projecting it as a warning. "Well, I'm not Saskia and I don't need Kylo Ren to protect me." She watched as he flipped the saber out. The hilt resembled a black horn in his palm, the curved form stabilizing his grip.

… _it's a duelist's saber._

"You'll find that I was one of the few who thought the scavenger girl was far too old for our ways."

"The scavenger is dead. Besides, anyone can learn the ways of the Force."

The knight shifted his stance, huffing softly through the vocoder. She chose Soresu for defense, waiting to see how he fought. It would've been a mistake to use anything less until she had an accurate picture of his strengths. She waited, her saber held downward in the drop stance, body half-turned. The knight shifted his posture, the blade held perpendicular to the body - Shii Cho, but not quite.

 _Come at me._

 _Come on._

Soresu taught patience wore down an implacable enemy. Jaina thought she could use a good dose of it right about then. The moment when her arms began to tingle from holding position so long - he ran at her, pulling off a barrage of blows. The sabers flashed, plasma sparking from the violence of the assault.

Jaina felt herself trip over her footwork. Pace broken, Valkyn stabbed above her. The blade came within inches of piercing her body. That was too close. She sensed the redirection of the Force retracting at the slightest motion of his fingertips. Force push. She pulled off a wide slash causing him to retreat hastily, the edge of the saber scored a searing line across the toughened hide he wore as a vest.

"More points!" He said excitedly. "I haven't been scarred in years."

"Why would you be? There are no Jedi or Sith around to challenge you."

"Oh, that…Force sensitives are born in every species across the galaxy. I don't share the limited world perspective of the Knights of Ren." The knight studied his upraised blade. "Greatness can come from nothing."

And then, his stance changed.

 _I thought I'd seen it all._

Her shock ran deep tracing the edges of his Form II. He wielded the blade like an adept, not a master, not nearly so perfect. She could see the errors in his footwork or perhaps they were simple preferences. She had been led into using the weaker Form I against the more complex Makashi.

 _"Don't think of your failures."_

 _Remember dueling Kit Fisto, Master of Form I to a tie._

 _"In the hands of a Master, true saber form is unstoppable."_

She cast aside extraneous thought. She had everything she needed. Her wide offensive strikes shattered his careful back and forth stance. The knight still flowed with the rhythm of his own movements, yet retreated several times, losing ground. Jaina felt her confidence soar. She could win - the light side was showing her where to strike, how to evade his short stabs.

She almost had him where she wanted him - something invisible pulled her feet. Jaina stumbled almost onto his saber edge. The tip loomed up, thrusting close to her chest. She pushed back with the Force, deflecting his aim.

Darkness and light collided.

In that moment, she saw something - a jumbled mass of images and emotions seething beneath his skin. There was no cohesion, no seamless stream of recollections or feelings. Jaina likened it instantly to a patchwork of frayed memories that someone had stitched together in the form of a human being.

He was human, she knew that. There was no Zabrakian blood, no multihued skin color beneath the dark clothing. She could see him, sand-haired, all of ten years old, found by Luke in the wreckage of a world. But, he was so much older than that. The green eyes that turned up to the Jedi Master were old eyes full of hatred.

Anakin. He saw Anakin in Luke.

Vader. He saw Vader and everything else he hated reborn in Ben Solo.

And she could see Snoke using him. Twisting and turning the knight's dominant emotions as a weapon. Always being used and manipulated by a monster, but through it all, he was trying to find - she lowered the legacy saber.

The knight hesitated as well. She saw his stance falter, he had seen something too. Before she could formulate any question at all -

The Force hit her in the solar plexus, flinging her against the far ceiling strut. Her back struck hard, her scream choking off with a wet, crunching sound. Valkyn lowered his hand, fingers twitching minutely. Jaina crumpled down to the floor, blinking past the spots dancing in front of her eyes.

Her saber flew out of her hand into his grip. The knight turned the hilt over in his hands, held it aloft, held it out on his level fingers. "The star is etched into the blade emitter. It's much faded and the wings are beaten metal, perfectly curved upward. The balance is perfect…even ignited, the weight is evenly distributed."

He spun it around a few times, chuckling when it surged in his hand. "All crystals resonate through the Force, through their wielders. This saber resonates with you." He deactivated his own red blade, striding toward her. "Inherently Jedi in origin, this blade was made to protect."

Jaina shook her head slightly, her eyes sliding to the left. BB-9e had been rolling behind each column closer and closer until its path ended behind the knight. _No. No. Don't do it_. The droid had been funneling its full electrical charge into its body, turning the spherical ball into a weapon. The droid rolled out suddenly, rolling fast for collision.

Seconds from impact, he gestured with his hand - such a small thing - and sent the droid flying backward. She surged up to her feet, summoning her saber to her hand. BB-9e bounced hard along the floor, colliding into the opposite wall, head and body detaching.

"There are almost limitless ways for the Force to be used." The knight said, twisting with his now emptied hand. Jaina staggered back, gasping. She could feel something wriggling its way into the seam of her wound - tearing at the lining of her stomach.

"Crucitorn's different aspects shouldn't be ignored for brute strength." He watched as she crashed down to her knees. "Let that be a lesson to you."

She clamped her mouth shut, withholding her agonized breaths. The knight gestured with a flick of his gloved hand, yanking the cord from around her neck. Jaina snatched at the crystals clinking together, feeling them torn from her from her grasp. His hand curled around them, staring down at the heap she made."Why would they choose you to be a Jedi? Pathetic." Her heart nearly stopped at his words. But, he said no more, turning on heel and walking away. Jaina listened to the doors sealing shut behind him, wincing as the silence fell.

...

She showered after a submersion in the bacta tank healed a majority of her physical aches. Nothing however alleviated the bitter disappointment she felt toward herself. BB-9e joined her in the training hall as she reached for the collective energies.

"I know you're there."

The air shimmered and the likenesses of the two Jedi Masters manifested from nothingness. Jaina's eyes slid from Obi-Wan to Shaak Ti. They had said nothing about the Muun Sith's appearance to her. She wondered if they were testing her to see how truthful she was.

"I was not a threat to him."

 _I lost_.

She felt her eyes water, filling with stupid, angry tears. After two years, she wasn't strong enough to defend herself. "He defeated me with ease. Why couldn't I defeat him with the light side?"

"It was your arrogance, Jaina. You cast your enemies in the mold of Kylo Ren, when they're not the same."

"What must I do?" She asked frustrated. "I don't know anyone except for what- three people?" She could count them on her fingers. "I don't have tons of experience fighting a galactic war and I won't be a rebel." _Before you even start up about the evils of the First Order_. "I was raised by the First Order. I believe in some ways they can stop useless bloodshed. I'm not young Luke Skywalker with a sunny disposition and a lot of luck to hope things turn out right." She sighed, exhausted in heart. "I'm at my wits end. He knew."

Obi-Wan glanced at Shaak Ti. The latter nodded slightly. "We're aware. It's nothing you did rather we suspect the answer lies elsewhere. My instinct tells me that if he assumed harm do to you, he would simply tell Ben Solo. There must be a reason why he says nothing."

Jaina rolled her eyes. "More likely because he secretly hates and wants someone to destroy Kylo. I saw how much he hates him and Luke."

"Now, you're assuming the worst." Obi-Wan chided. "You should talk to Luke. He'll know more about the knight who calls himself Valkyn."

"Luke doesn't want to talk to me. He only cares for Leia, or have you forgotten he tried to kill me on Ahch-To?"

"Jaina…,"

"I don't want to blindly be hoping, waiting to be noticed by the last living Jedi Master when he's made his position abundantly clear. Luke made his bed a long time ago, let him lie in it."

…

 _What is it about her…?_

The room of windows reflected a gloomy exterior of rain-washed hues. Kylo studied the effect of light on the crystal goblet set before him. The luncheon had involved the highest ranking members of the court presided over by the incipient slip of a girl who called herself planetary ruler. Had she possessed even one aspect of Force sensitivity, he might've found her interesting for choosing politics over greater knowledge of the Force.

He fingered the cold crystal stem, fingers sliding over the cut facets. The Queen's insipid beauty failed to catch Hux's attention. Hux was thinking of her throughout the whole ordeal of minstrels, singers and other tedious entertainment. Hux was thinking of Jaina winning over Captain Avior sometime ago, deflecting his shots with the Shien variant of Djem So. She moved too much like Saskia during the exhibition for Kylo's taste.

 _"I want to get better at defense."_

 _"You shouldn't rely on it."_

 _She tried to look serious and failing that, smiled. "Anakin - your grandfather was skilled in Form V. Defense is a natural part of Djem So unlike Makashi whose weakness is a lack of defense. The two augment one another beautifully. Besides, how else am I going to watch your back?"_

 _"Don't be ridiculous. I don't need you or anyone else." When he had turned sensing her movement, he had found she was quietly walking away with the droid trailing after her._

What more can I give?

Lost in thought, he almost missed the blinking comm unit.

"There's a minor rebellion on the mine colony Ampuroon. TIE squadrons have been sent to assess the threat. If further action is required, the _Advantage_ is prepared to send Stormtrooper legions."

"Anything else?"

Mitaka hesitated, a sign of nervousness. "Reports are suggesting a contingent of Force sensitives enslaved on the planetary surface. General Hux referred the decision to you because of their identification."

He had never heard of such a thing. "Slaves?"

"Likely, yes. The Viscount of Serenno, former New Republic Senator, Rand Taliesan, owns a quarter of the slave population. He provides leases to mine colonies and other industrial worlds, controlling the market. Viscount Taliesan is said to be the third richest man in the galaxy, specializing in Force sensitive slaves."

 _Flesh-monger_ ….he could think of a number of unsavory words to describe the slave owner. _His mother likely was familiar with the name…_

"Supreme Leader Ren?" Prompted Mitaka.

"No quarter, no mercy. I want them decimated."

"S-Sir?" The Lieutenant sputtered.

"You have your orders."

...

Amaral awakened with the shifting of the Star Dreadnought around him. A water glass on the table vibrated beside the protein bar he had taken from the cafeteria. His crew had likely received orders during the wraith watch, and hadn't sent him a message about it. _I really need to demote the upper tier,_ he thought, groggily pulling on his uniform.

On the bridge, he looked over the orders General Hux had sent. A protocol droid brought fresh steaming caf, circulating the tray around the wearied, but alert officers.

"A pocket of Resistance scum? I thought we killed them all already." He tossed the datapad onto the holocall terminal, grabbing a cup from the tray.

"Orders from General Hux, sir?"

Blandly, he glanced at who had spoken. One of his Lieutenants or something, he couldn't place a name - the young blonde woman wore her hair fashioned into small pigtails peeking out beneath her cap. "Ah - Connix, right?" He thought he remembered her transfer from the Interceptor.

Kadel Ko Connix or something to that effect. She was cute maybe not someone V'lane would've been all over, but attractive nonetheless, he observed idly. "Yes, it seems that a probe droid picked up on the relocation of a former Imperial Captain, Ciena Ree. I'm not familiar with her as that was before my time." He snapped his fingers, "more caf, droid." Once the shuffling protocol model has meandered out of sight, he glanced at their projected eta. "Apparently, Ree was pardoned by the New Republic for her war crimes. One of their more generous stunts designed to impress the masses." He was aware the tail end of his sentence held some bitterness. Connix looked at him inquiringly.

"There are always some who fall through the cracks, Lieutenant Connix. I would say Ree wasn't one of them." Amaral hadn't missed the explicit execution order handed down that left little room for doubt in his mind. Ree was the target. Hux wanted her dead for more than one reason.

After a moment of silence broken by the clicking of keys in the background, Connix's gaze drifted over the hyperspace lane visible through the massive viewports.

"We're almost there." She said to herself.

The cups rattled in the returning droid's tray. Amaral took one and carried it over to her. Connix accepted the cup, wrapping her small gloved hands around it.

"Sir, General Hux is making contact from Arkanis. Captain Farady is also calling from Lord Ren's ship." One of the monitors called out.

 _He says jump and we ask how high_.

"Split screen, accept both calls." Amaral faced the holoprojector after checking that his jacket was buttoned correctly. "Good afternoon, General Hux, Captain Farady." He greeted as the holographic glow expanded of the _Ravager's_ bridge, a mirror image of the Executrix. The ginger-haired general scarcely acknowledged the greetings from his location within a large chamber decorated with tasteful furnishings. Farady nodded to him. Amaral didn't see Kylo Ren which was strange, but he decided not to remark on it.

"Have you reached Waskiro?"

"We've nearly arrived. I noticed the high priority placed on Ree's death. Is there some importance attached to Ree?"

"None that you need concern yourself with."

"Sir! Long range scanner detects an upwards range of sixty TIE Fighters in planetary atmosphere." The radar monitor interrupted. Amaral nodded slightly. That was good. It meant that Captain Yago and likely another Star Destroyer had sent support. He could likely keep them in drift with the smaller ships as a warning.

"Shall we prep the auto cannons?" This came from the gunner station.

"No, that won't be necessary."

"And why not?"

"The TIEs can provide aerial bombardment if necessary. Who would dare challenge a Dreadnought?" Although he spoke lightly, no doubt the other man was remembering the _Fulminatrix_. He was inclined to add _who would challenge my Dreadnought?_ The _Executrix_ had battered the planetary shields above Lothal, assisted in the subjugation of a dozen different systems all with the same result. The Executrix had always been the executor of the First Order's will. If they had been sent in place of Captain Canady's ship…well, he was positive Moden Canady would've been enjoying an early retirement on some tropical world.

"Such arrogance leads to a downfall, Captain." Hux had spoken barely above his normal tones yet the stridency snapped Amaral to attention. "Those are known rebels below. The performance of the TIE squadron has been lacking lately. You're basing your assumptions on competence when a number of times the First Order's pilots have failed!"

He tried to find something less than condescending in his mind. In the holograph image, Captain Farady's gaze slanted concernedly from the general to Captain Peavey. The duo shared a mollified look.

"Once we've arrived," Amaral explained patiently. "The Executrix will be in place to devastate any escaping crafts. There isn't much else we can do other than send our TIE squadron as backup."

"Nothing else -? Are you unaware of the devastating potential of your armaments? I want you to fire on the location of the settlement!"

Amaral grimaced, his complacent smile cracking. "Thank you for reminding me about my auto cannons, General Hux. Really, how could I have forgotten their existence?" He heard a few snickers from the crew that were inaudible to the holotank. "But, I don't see any threat being levied against the First Order. Two elite TIE squadrons are enough to suppress any ground threats." As he reasoned out, he became aware of the silence, a tense snap before the storm broke. "As for your orders…are they the Supreme Leader's, or your own?" He had never openly challenged the general. V'lane had brought up a valid point concerning him. While it was true they were both in places of power, they owed it to the long dead Brendol Hux whom Kylo Ren had disliked, verging on hatred.

 _We have to prove our usefulness to him._

 _He believes himself the heir to Darth Vader_.

 _"I don't know about you, but I know where my allegiance lies."_

"You dare challenge me, you filthy scavenger? You know nothing about war! Kill them! Kill them all!" Hux shouted, his face reddened in fury. "Why do I have to put up with you ungrateful wretches who don't understand the meaning of annihilation?"

"B-But, to open fire on the planet-when our people are down there?!"

 _Do you not know the meaning of decimation?_

Hux had given the prior order that the direct vocalization authorizing hostile force be played at his command. Farady saw the signal, staring at the holotank visual of the far away sector. He felt his own heart slow to sluggish thumps. The time ticked down. It took one full minute to reach full charge. Edrison Peavey stood to his left, grimly surveying the same scene.

"What would you do, captain?" Farady asked him quietly.

"Follow the general's orders, captain." Peavey's look seemed to say, _what else can we do?_

...

"You have your orders, Captain Amaral."

The Dandorian's swarthy face ashened and for once he truly looked sickened.

"Full charge, sir." The gunnery station called.

"Fire." Amaral forced the word out of his lips, spitting as he did so.

"But, sir, the _Tarkin's_ Wing and Captain Yago's 109th Squadron have secured the -"

"You heard the man. Fire at will!"

The gunnery crew moved as one, engaging the auto cannons, priming the smaller laser cannons. The heavily armored Dreadnought shifted as every gun aimed on Waskiro's mining colony. The lights lowered on some unseen signal, optimizing viewing conditions from space. The holocalls disconnected, in their place, the transmission from below came through on garbled waves. Surprise and shock filled the stream of voices. Amaral removed his hat seemingly having no remembrance of doing so. He crushed it in his gloved hands. Red washed the holotank visuals of the planet below them. The transmission registered nothing more. Some of the bridge crew had turned in their seats, waiting for some sign of the captain's to resume duty. Connix looked at him, at the bitter grief etched into his face. _This man_ , she saw now. _Wasn't so much the monster, rather a victim of circumstance_.

"Sir," interrupted the radar monitor. "Cronau radiation reported from quadrant six." The man read off the screen. "The _Tarkin_ has arrived."

Amaral forced himself to nod. It was expected for the commander to join them at the rendezvous point. The grey lines of the Victory II class ship registered on their monitors.

"Commander Duma is making contact."

He raised his hand, gesturing. The planet exploded at numerous points. The blast radius wouldn't have permitted anyone to survive long on the surface.

"Play back Supreme Leader's Ren message and everything afterward."

…

 _Hux has given Amaral enough to hang himself_.

Radford received the report on the bridge. His crew had informed him of the HoloNet running rife with rumors and footage of the tragedy. Grimly, he surveyed the footage culled from multiple TIE fighter craft coupled with the last horrifying minutes of their lives.

 _This isn't peace and everyone knows it; Jag...maybe you were right about needing a little more time until they self-destructed_. As if his thoughts had summoned contact from the man, Radford glanced at his wrist comm. He covered the signal with his other hand, now wasn't the time to be noticeably away from the bridge.

"Enough."

The bridge monitor cut the feed on a woman's scream.

"What's going on?"

At Saskia's voice, he turned to face her.

"The Executrix fired on a rebelling mine colony forty minutes ago." Voice an octave lower, he stepped closer to her. "There were two elite squadrons securing the planet. They've all been annihilated. General Hux has given Kylo Ren everything he needs to appear a monster to the First Order." _If there's any lingering doubts.. The slate has been wiped clean_.

The knight accepted the news with composure. She paled a little, her fingers skating over the platinium cuff on her right wrist. He had gifted it to her from the estate collection of a senator. "What ships were they from?"

"The Battlecruiser _Advantage_ , and the _Tarkin_."

...

Jaina watched the banners lower. The halls were rife with rumors of Rebels. _The rebellion beginning anew_. She started walking, glad she had returned before they made the jump to hyperspace. BB-9e had analyzed several different blocked channels on the HoloNet, reporting the earliest accounts reaching the galaxy on the Core Worlds. "They're always one step ahead." She commented quietly, entering the bridge. The planet was a seething, boiling mass. Disfigured from the eight pounding cannons of the Dreadnought's arsenal; she drifted closer to the viewports.

So this was the disturbance she had sensed in the Force.

 _A literal tearing asunder of the stable energies, leaving a ragged, gaping hole behind_.

"What is it?" She asked behind closed doors. Pale, filled with unease, she could hear echoes of the dying whenever she closed her eyes.

 _"It's a wound in the Force." Shaak Ti said quietly. "When the First Order fired on the planet, they obliterated a sizable number of Force sensitives, they along with the other lives lost created a ripple effect across space."_

 _The human woman who had manifested into the living plain along with the Togruta, nodded somberly. Jaina had never seen her before, assuming from her ancient robes she was another Jedi Master or Knight. It wasn't until the woman had introduced herself as Meetra Surik, that Jaina started to recall the story of the Exile Madame Nu had recounted._

 _"Astrogeographical positions can hold negativity for centuries, similar to what occurred on Malachor V and Alderaan." Surik took up the thread. "Because of your gift, you'll gradually begin to absorb the emotional imprint of the dead, manifesting it around you and others. As soon as possible, you should leave this area."_

"How many?"

"Too many." Duma said briskly, attempting to present a façade of normalcy. He fidgeted with his dress uniform, barking orders as he strode through the Star Destroyer. "They're going to present a wreath…a wreath of sea flowers of all things! Here and to the _Advantage_. Yago's beside himself as he hasn't lost this many since the _Supremacy_."

"How could this have happened? I read the report," she winced thinking of Lieutenant Valens. They had flown together a few times in the past. "The planet was secure with the mine boss and other hostages under surveillance. Why did Captain Amaral fire on them?"

"I wouldn't know."

"It doesn't make sense."

"Jaina, please. Not now."

She fell silent, tucking the datapad under her arm. "I know it isn't the time, but…what we talked about before…, are…we," Jaina hesitated, it felt wrong to be excited and happy at a moment like this, but... "Are we going to go through with it? Unless you weren't serious."

The old man turned, his shoulders slumping. "Of course I am…if you really want-"

"I'd be honored if you would adopt me as your daughter. I'd rather have your name than Pol Ionone's." She didn't want to add that her mother -if she was able to see her, she hoped she would be happy for her.

"If you're sure-"

"I can finally call someone _father_." She reached out, straightening the collar of his uniform jacket. "You don't know how much that means to me."

...

The turbolift left him outside the room where Ren waited. Valkyn could sense his agitation stirring the Force. The room was the same he had chosen to meet him in before. _His throne room_. How presumptuous. A single ebony chair occupied the center of the darkened room. Valkyn sensed the diffuse energies shot through with light. Jaina wasn't aboard, but the source stemmed from her.

"I was on my way to a distant sector when your summons came." Valkyn explained, kneeling. "I apologize if my coming was late."

Kylo acknowledged him with a glance. Tall, broad-shouldered, he wore the garments of a lordling. Nothing so fine ever fit him, thought the knight, derisive. Solo's own malcontent robbed him of any gravity he might've had.

"What were you doing on my ship without being summoned beforehand?"

 _Ah, the little strumpet must've said something_. He cursed his luck. "Did she tell you?"

"Captain Farady did."

 _Ah_. He hadn't thought any of the military elite were fond of Ben, so that was surprising.

"Be careful, my Lord. You sound hostile." He felt the frisson of fury lash out, white hot. "It's not going to kill her. She'll be sick for a while. Why would I assassinate one of us? I'm not Soramar." Valkyn's tone implied disgust with that lower form of life. _There simply was no comparison_. As he tilted his helmeted head respectfully to the black flooring, Ren's gloved hand shot out. Valkyn felt himself lifted up roughly, his body rigid as a board, dragged forward.

"What did you do?" He flinched from the ice in his tone. Somehow the calmness of Ren's fury was far more troubling than outright destruction. Temper tantrums were the sign of his immaturity, not reasoned Force probing.

Valkyn felt the invisible hand of the Force pierce his helmet into his face, clawing through his brain. Images came forth, _the shuttle, his Fracti_ \- Ren didn't care. He discarded those images. He was looking for the moment when the knight had struck the woman with crucitorn. Another image surfaced, this time, the woman who was dazzling on the floor. Valkyn felt the presence in his mind reacting to her.

Then, silence and Ren's probing ceased. The two figures in the image were frozen. The knight and the woman whose inner Force had touched.

"It's true." Despite the immense pain he was in, a smile worked its way to his lips. "I connected with her. You never have!" Ren snarled under his breath and shoved into Valkyn's chest. The knight flew backward like a doll thrown by a petulant child, skating into a heap across the floor. _We recognized the same feelings in each other_. "For just a moment, I looked into her heart as she did to mine…and she didn't turn away."

 _That's the one thing I don't understand_.

He tipped his head back to regard the heavily breathing figure across the room. "I want her. When you've broken her, give her to me."

Solo's hand went to the crossguard hilt, the threat tangible. "Get out of my sight."

Valkyn picked himself up off the floor, bowing. "Anything you say, my Lord."

...

"Grand Moff Taliesan is on the line, sir."

Jagged Fel put aside the framed picture he had been studying. Captain Lekauf had sent a private communique of a slaughter aboard the derelict space station Z43, pressing an immediate investigation and contract renewal. A few years before, it had been food until a timely delivery of a consumables replicator machine. Now, it was fuel. He rubbed his face tiredly, sighing.

"Redirect the call to my quarters."

The holoplate flickered blue as the projector shone the form of an elderly man leaning heavily on a bronze cane. The man's heavy senatorial robes were reminiscent of Serenno. "Captain Fel," the sharp-tongued old man observed him.

"Greetings, Grand Moff Taliesan."

"Spare me, surely by now you've heard about the First Order's decimation of the mine colony Ampuroon?"

Yes, he had, but the news reports weren't highly credible. Especially since the HoloNet reporter was some old Sullustan, Dhur-something or other.

"A terrible loss to be sure."

Is that all? Surely, it doesn't escape your notice that a faction of rebels were hiding out on Waskiro. They were seeking to overturn the ruling faction - need I remind you that I had interest in the colony?"

"I'm sorry, sir."

"You should be! The First Order devastated the planet!" His shrill voice rose in fury. "The rebels and everyone else - mark my words, there will be retribution for this catastrophe."

"Eventually," Fel said, unflinchingly. "We will strike back. But, we need a little more time." _For good reason. Two decades of payments and now the troubling report of Lekauf's men being savagely murdered…_

"We're done waiting, Captain. Either you begin mobilizing for war or we'll put a vote up as to the competency of your leadership." Taliesan growled.

"Sir." He struggled with his feelings for a moment, then resumed the poise he was known for. "I understand perfectly, sir."

"Good. You know what it is we expect. Our Empire restored…we are the true Empire, Jag. Always remember it. The rebels…that was your insistence. They don't have a place in the Empire."

"I…I've never forgotten it." He glanced at the clock. At the time he had kept, meaningless night and day in space. Taliesan smiled crookedly, his toothless mouth a black pit of decay.

"May the Force be with you."

The moment the former senator disconnected the call, Jag leaned back in his seat. "The Force…?" He needed luck. He needed a lot of things to bring the fight to the First Order. _"Pilot" Luke's contact he had never seen before_. After a long moment, he leaned over and contacted the bridge. "Send a private message to Commander Dameron. Request his presence immediately in my office."

…

 _Can they do it?_

Poe had been inside Fel's office a number of times. The Imperial banners always turned his stomach. He couldn't help but think of his mother whose fight had been with the Empire.

"I need people you trust to go on a mission for me."

Jag offered him a seat. The chairs were comfortable-looking with reupholstered bottoms in navy blue with bronze rivets. Poe had come back from flying with the squadron. He took the offered seat gratefully.

"What's this about?"

The other man's gaze shifted to the framed image within reach. Poe could see the slant of it, the older man in Imperial uniform. Hazy memories of Yavin IV, agricultural fields and practice flying through an asteroid belt, came to mind. It was times like these when he lifted his eyes to the pair of banners opposite that he thought some ideals were better off laid to rest in a quiet grave.

"I'm going to trust whoever you send with my black card."

"Who? Or what now?"

"Haven't you ever played Shah-Tezh?"

"Sorry, no."

"Alright, let me put it to you plainly. I'm entrusting them with the negotiation of a new contract. It's imperative that we come out on top here, so I need people you trust."

Poe didn't have to think about it. "Finn and Rose."

"Are you certain? Absolutely positive they can do the job?"

"I would trust them with my life."

...

"On the question of whether or not firing on the mining colony Ampuroon was justified or not, one must recall the situation on Crait. The Rebels were in our grasp and Supreme Leader Ren ordered no quarter, no prisoners. I was following the precedent held up before." The four ships dominated the upper planetary atmosphere. The divided holoplate displayed Captain Amaral who occasionally mopped his face with a handkerchief; Captain Yago maintained rigid Imperial bearing to the right framing the center projection of General Hux and Kylo Ren on the _Ravager._ Neither appeared particularly disturbed by the proceedings. Duma wondered if it was remiss to remind Hux on Brendol's breeding program and the sacrifices made in pursuit of filling the ranks in after Jakku.

"Pretty words don't fill empty berths, General. I lost a quarter of my TIE Wing along with their elite space craft. Captain Yago feels that more should've been done to hasten their departure from the planet's surface."

"And shouldn't that have been Captain Amaral's call to circulate the message?"

Duma purpled with rage, barely restraining his outburst. He inhaled several times, his jowls quivering with indignation. "I lost some of my best pilots and you say Captain Amaral is solely to blame?!" He nigh thundered, spittle flew.

"General Hux has a point in so far as the rebels are concerned. They must be eliminated at all cost otherwise more of their kind propagates in the shadows of the galaxy." Ren said coolly, unimpressed with the old man's blustering. "A few lives lost is nothing."

Silenced, Duma stared aghast at the holoprojection. "You can't be serious…"

"Are you questioning my judgment, Commander?"

Hux sneered in the background.

"N-No. I misspoke hastily, sir. I hadn't lost so many in years. They will be missed." Duma said, lowering his gaze respectfully. "May I read the designations of the dead?"

"The list was compiled already? I'm surprised at the efficiency of your crew." Hux commented, affecting a look of mild sympathy. "And it is certain that none survived?"

Duma thought the man could lessen his hostility. Neither were effective leaders in any capacity, they were murderers, traitors and liars. Taking the datapad from Noventa with a slight impatient yank, he began to believe in the spark. "It is highly unlikely. Communication went black almost all at the same time across the board." Comeuppance. Mara had believed in the spark of hope. _Comeuppance, young Solo. Some sins must be paid for in blood_. _After all, blood is binding_.

"Pity."

 _Yes, it was._

"Go ahead." Hux said magnanimously.

Ren hummed a little under his breath, his stare hard. Duma felt his senses prickling. He had the unpleasant sensation Ren was considering testing his ability to force-choke across distance. "Send a copy. I'll look over it later."

"Very good, sir." The commander said through gritted teeth. After a moment, the dismissal came and the call was disconnected. Duma stared down at his clenched fists, attempting to get his breathing under control.

There had been less decorum in the old days, yet as he had been so often reminded, the First Order was not the Empire. The Empire had bled pilots during their many dog fights with rebel scum that Duma wondered where so many had ever come from. He thought of the million lives lost on the original Death Star alone, feeling it paled in comparison to the death totals from Starkiller Base and the Supremacy's loss. _No one ever thinks of them_ , he thought suddenly, stricken by memory. _No one ever stops to remember our wounds_.

…

"Why are you avoiding me?"

She said nothing, focusing on her defensive kata.

Kylo saw her sullen expression, the delicate purse of her lips and darkness in her eyes. Something was affecting her balance.

"We have nothing to hide from one another."

She stabbed the air, pace broken.

"I would never lie to you and I expect the same from you."

She looked at her hand, at the blade humming in her grasp. "People lie to one another all the time. What makes you and I any different?"

"Do you want me to lie to you?"

She powered off the saber. "Why did you order them to fire on Waskiro?"

"You're angry with me."

"There were a lot of innocent people caught up in the blast. What was so important that their lives needed to be sacrificed?" Jaina faced him. "I know you have a reason. I can feel it, but I don't know what it is."

"I'll tell you." He wasn't too surprised she had it almost figured out. "But, not now."

She nodded slightly, trying to get her breathing under control. "Okay, I'll trust you to be truthful with me." One-handed, she pushed hair out of her eyes. She wore it long, past the shoulder. The look feminized her more than the bobbed hairstyle he remembered from when he first noticed her. "Can I ask you something?" Jaina added softer. "Please?"

Kylo waited for her to say more.

"Why-why did you follow Snoke? I don't understand."

He wouldn't have expected her to understand his reasons. "I had many reasons for following his teachings."

"Just give me a reason, please."

"Power."

"That's not good enough." Jaina spat with quiet venom. "You had power already. You had strength in the Force. Why need more? You became the champion of the First Order, Snoke's Knight and for what? What did the dark side ever give you?"

Kylo studied the rising color in her face. He turned her question over in his mind. The darkness had given him purpose, a place to belong. "The dark side showed me the right path to follow. In doing so, I honor my late grandfather's legacy."

"Darth Vader turned to save his son. He couldn't bear to see Luke's pain so he came back!" Jaina shouted, tears glistening in her eyes. "He was hated by all the people in the galaxy, but - love was enough to redeem him!"

"That was his fault! He died because he turned! Can't you see that Luke was the one who betrayed him?!" Kylo stalked toward her furious she would question his grandfather's greatness.

"Darth Sidious killed him, not Luke! I-I saw his death." Jaina lapsed into miserable silence.

Kylo stopped mid-stride. "What?"

"I saw it." She was crying in earnest now, tears and snot mixed into a hot smeary mess. "My grandfather was there too. He meant to kill Sidious, he had seen a way…he was on the Second Death Star, in the shadows. He saw everything and he showed it to me." _I'd forgotten. Plagueis made me remember somehow_. "I-I'm sorry, Kylo. Luke hated him because he wouldn't help him save his father."

His rage vanished as quickly as it had risen. He removed his gloves, the motions gave him time to process her words. She stood there, shoulders trembling, hiccoughing noisily. The droid had rolled forward, bumping her knees, trying to comfort her. Kylo moved toward her, reaching for her face, wiping her tears with his fingertips. She tried to speak, "my grandfather was t-t-telling me why Luke hated him-"

"Shhh. That's all in the past now." He shushed her gently, inclining closer, drinking in her features, her moist lips captured his attention most, pink and swollen from her constant nibbling on them. Ren, the creature of instinct, had only one thought in his head, his reaction instinctual seated in the one attachment he couldn't let go of. He wanted to kiss her. No, needed it like a starving man.

 _I'm the only one who feels this way._

He was astonished to feel the slight repulse from the Force. It was a warning. The dark side wore down the edges of her inner balance, tipping her force signature into the abyss. With some effort, he collected himself. He hadn't been thinking of how she felt.

"What happened?"

…

"I was visited by one of the Sith Lords." Although, she spoke calmer, her heart pounded uncomfortably hard. She had seen his inner struggle, composure instead of instinct. Kylo swept his thumbs along the rise of her cheekbones, drying her tears. His hands felt warm on her cold skin, his touch brisk and yet soothing at the same time. When he looked into her eyes, she saw he had suppressed whatever he had been feeling moments before, effectively restraining himself.

"Why?"

"I think he wanted to goad me into channeling my darker emotions. He told me my mother had become one with the dark side of the Force."

"I wasn't aware of her-"

"She was part of the Empire, Kylo. The Sith who appeared to me was Darth Sidious's master, Darth Plagueis. He said that Sidious had wanted my mother to replace Vader at one point. Sidious knew she wasn't strong enough to kill Vader and made her one of his secret apprentices."

"The records indicate your mother didn't have any Force sensitivity. It seems that was another thing fabricated in the First Order's records."

She looked at him strangely. Kylo stepped back. "The record says you were ten years old."

"What…?"

"I wondered too, when I looked at it. Nothing added up to what you showed me. I thought maybe it was a mistake in the data file, but since then I've come to revise my initial assumption. There's four years of your life that are missing." He gestured and the datapad left on one of the benches came to his hand.

"How can you be so sure?"

Accessing the saved files, he scrolled through them, selecting one. "The Star Dreadnought Executrix rolled off the Kuat shipyards into active service eighteen years ago. Eighteen years ago, you were ten years old. Someone deliberately wiped your mind and created false memories."

 _..._

Leia had prepared herself many times over for the conversation. It's the same as delivering a speech, she reminded herself of all the particulars and facts she knew supported her theory. What was the worst that could happen? Well, there was plenty, but still wasn't the truth better than nothing?

When the knock came at the door it was softer than her son's impromptu opening of the door. Unceremonious though Ben was, Leia glanced and straightened. She was glad she had slept lightly during her usual day time routine. "It's on the late side, but I'm awake."

"Sorry." Jaina hesitated, the panel revolved back.

"Somehow or another, whenever we've met, it's always been about me." She gestured they should sit. The woman's droid followed her in, taking up position beside the chaise. "I would like to know about you."

"Me? There's nothing much to know." Jaina perched on the edge; her knees pressed carefully together, her back straight. Leia saw years of rigid military training instilled in her, biting back her own comments. Criticizing the First Order was liable to make her defensive.

"For starters, I believe you said you came from Chandrila?"

"Yes…we - ah, my mother and I - lived on the outskirts of a village in the countryside. Our house overlooked Lake Sa'hot."

That told her very little.

"It's a very beautiful place although I imagine you mustn't have grown up there. How did you become part of the First Order?" She didn't want to imagine a splinter cell of former Imperials hiding out on the New Republic's birthplace.

"No…we left when I was...still young. My mother believed in some semblance of the Empire from what I remember of her. She brought me to one of the First Order ships and left me in the care of an old friend. He's the one who placed me in the Flight Track on his Star Destroyer."

"The necklace...,"

"Oh, I...it was taken from me recently. I'm not sure why exactly, but it was a kyber crystal from a light saber." Jaina's hand self-consciously crept to her throat, seeming to search for the two broken halves. "My mother gave it to me before she died. She told me the crystal belonged to my grandfather...I suppose she meant from her side. He was part of the Inquisitorius so it makes sense."

"And your father?" Leia studied her face closely. "Do you remember him at all?"

"I don't know who he was. He abandoned us when I was small. I don't…remember him that much."

"Have you ever given a thought to his reasons?"

"Sure. Lots of times. I've gone over it so much that I can name all the different arguments he could've had. But, none of them ever made it okay." She clasped her knees with hands. "We were happy as far as I can remember. My mother was always full of laughter, she was so happy and full of life. Then, after he was gone from our lives, the laughter died. She was somber and quiet. She rarely smiled, even when I saw her before her death. I wasn't sure what to think when I learned he had left us. It killed me to think I was the cause."

"You shouldn't blame yourself. Children are abandoned all the time. I'm not saying abandonment is right, but it's never their fault."

"I've been told that I was strong since a young age. I thought maybe it was the Force inside me that drove him away."

"What if you found him? I admit I don't know too much about the Force, but if he were a Force sensitive-"

"He left us." Jaina's voice had gone oddly hard. "There's nothing to it, Leia. Now, if you'll excuse me." She rose quickly to her feet. The little droid jerked awake with a start, rolling to the door ahead of her. Leia followed, "Jaina…Jaina. Please wait."

Those bright blue eyes had narrowed. She looked angry, restraining her hurt behind a mask of calm.

"Your father had his reasons. I'm sure of it. He wouldn't have abandoned you without good reason." Leia pulled the words out from somewhere inside her. She had made so many speeches during her life she sometimes wondered whether or not she had been talk only. "I'm sure he loved you very much and that it hurt him deeply to leave you."

The thin shoulders dropped in defeat.

"In the Flight Track... sometimes at night in the dormitories, the other cadets would discuss their families. The ones they wished they'd known…I always used to say my father was dead. But, it..." She turned to face her, voice breaking. "It doesn't matter anymore...the man who took care of me for so long-we've begun adoption proceedings. I should be happy," she wiped her face angrily. "Kriff! W-Why am I crying?"

"Jaina, what if you found him...your real father?" Leia wanted nothing more than to hold the young woman and dry her tears. She could feel it without shuttering her physical senses. The Force so deep and cold around Jaina, felt a raw wound, pulsing stridently with each exhalation of breath. "Isn't it better to know who he is?" She pulled away from her, averting her face.

"Maybe he was right. You should kill it."

"Jaina…,"

"The attendant pain and suffering, let it die."

The door closed between them.

 _..._

"Do you know how the Jedi Order was destroyed?" _Mystics empowered with the Force, whose religion had lasted a millennia, were wiped from the face of the galaxy by the machinations of one man. Emperor Palpatine was almost an admirable figure to have risen from the senate to ruling the galaxy._

Captain Avior stood guard on the inside of the General's quarters. A long-haired cat strolled around the leather sofa, batting around a much worn mouse toy made of wool.

"No, sir."

"Order 66. The Republic's clone troops turned against the Jedi, opening fire on them with common blasters. They were so numerous and taken at unawares that almost all perished within a day of execution according to the history of the Empire. I'll say this, they were mistaken on galactic rule, however there were some brilliant tactics that mustn't be forgotten in our new era." Hux set aside the datapad. He knew those fools, Yago and Duma were more than likely to keep making noise over the slaughter of their pilots.

A few lives lost - no one cared least of all Ren. It was convenient that Amaral had taken the bait so easily. _Really….firing all of the Executrix's guns on a surrendered planet…what was he thinking?_ If Sloane or Thrawn had been in Ren's place, that was an automatic Court Martial. There had been some during the First Order's rise who had cared for human and yes, alien life. Pathetic. In that, he and Ren saw eye to eye…

Ren saw nothing amiss in bloodshed if it meant the seeds of rebellion were tamped down at their source. It was also fortunate, that he depended on Hux being the human face of the First Order; Armitage smirked as he reviewed clone trooper tactical formations. The ones who had outlived their usefulness were the cowardly old men from the days of the Empire. The purge would begin again soon enough once he had rewarded Captain Windrider's wavering fealty…,

-TBC

AN: finally an update! Thanks for reading :-)

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	7. Chapter 7

_"There is no shortage of fault to be found amid our stars."- John Green_

* * *

The _Interceptor_ dominated the upper atmosphere of Corellia. Planet-wide submission was overseen by the Star Destroyer's legions, the familiar whistling sound of TIE craft flew through the midday haze, as a threat to the criminal underworld.

General Hux viewed the holovid sent in lieu of an official report. The narration came from the affected tones of Lieutenant Kyrell, an older man whose service record stretched back to the days of the Empire. "Furthermore, couriers as they're called, were rounded up in an effort to clean the streets. It was my suggestion," Kyrell said self-importantly. "That an order of execution be handed down. Captain Windrider was of course notably in dissent."

"They're children, aren't they?" Farady accepted caf from Peavey. "How distasteful to kill children." He shrugged his shoulders disgustedly.

"No quarter, no prisoners." Hux reminded, his eyes sharp on the two captains. Peavey looked between them, uncertain whether his opinion was welcome on the subject.

"Those were rebels. These are youngling Kyrell speaks of." Farady said dismissively. "There could've been a good Stormtrooper cadet or pilot among them. I've seen it." He lifted his cup in meaning. "Give a starving child incentive and they'll excel. It's when you take good old boys like him," Farady jabbed the cup rudely at the static frozen image of Dalven Kyrell. "Who think the galaxy owes them, that become the problem."

"You consider yourself one, captain?"

 _Excuse me!_ His look narrowed. "My grandfather and father were career officers. My grandfather served with distinction under Jedi General Aayla Secura during the Clone Wars and afterward he used his experience to further his station in the Imperial Navy." _So there's little comparison_. "Kyrell is from a second wave family on Jelucan." He thought he remembered Windrider telling him once over holocall while complaining about the lower tier of officers. "I should think Captain Avior is a prime example of my meaning. Or Captain Amaral." Farady stopped short of sneering. "Your father saw the worth of a scavenger on Dandoran."

Hux's pale face flamed brighter than his hair. Farady rather hoped the general might suffer an apoplectic fit sooner rather than later. To his everlasting disappointment, Hux collected himself quicker than he had anticipated, saying coolly. "I'm surprised you would reference the Jedi. They're all extinct now."

"Yes, well, there are a number of us who recall them without much trouble at all." Farady resumed sipping his caf, peaceably. When the general was out of earshot, Peavey glanced at the other man. "What do you think of the Jedi?"

"Oh...do I believe they were trying to overthrow the Republic or were enemies to the Empire like Skywalker?" Farady's scoffed, but he smiled slightly. "Not at all. When I was a boy, my grandfather used to tell me stories about the war. He may have kept his private opinions separate from his military persona, but he never spoke ill of their legacy." Farady dropped his voice lower. "He used to say you don't know what the light is…until it has died in the galaxy. These times remind me of it now."

"You're referring to the Supreme Leader's Knights?" Although, Peavey kept to the bridge and tried to concern himself little with the goings-on of the Force users, he wasn't blind to the sudden arrival of four of the five surviving Knights aboard ship.

"I think he called them to choose a successor." Farady looked mildly uncomfortable, dropping his voice lower. "What he has conveniently forgotten is the power of the dark side to ultimately corrupt. None of them will be content to kneel at his feet for long."

...

 _"The path of a Force sensitive warrior leads only one way."_ Somebody had said it once, determined to fight the rising darkness. The air hummed with the pair of dueling blades, sparking from each collision. It was a fine display to be sure. Violent, unrelenting, something Ren enjoyed watching. The duelists hadn't bowed to one another, observing no kind of formality they'd once known in Luke's ring.

Saskia held her tongue, her arms clasped loosely against her torso. She was cold with the flagrant dark side energies flooding the room. Jaina should've been there. Her presence alone had the power to cut the darkness. Once balance was restored, she would've been able to breathe at least.

 _Why now?_

She cast a furtive glance to Kylo Ren who watched detachedly from the sidelines. She could easily see no enjoyment in his expression, no pleasure or excitement seeing the pair duel in front of him for some express purpose only he knew. Unless…rumor had reached them of the Centrist planets whose populations expected a return of the Empire. She thought they were gravely mistaken in believing the First Order regime shared Imperial beliefs.

 _Ren might want to strengthen his position. Barring selecting a wife from a strong Royalist system and having children, he could choose an apprentice. A true apprentice who would one day inherit the First Order leadership_. The latter made her glance narrow. The cycle was going to continue. He was drawn helplessly to it, seeking someone to stand as his equal. Training Jaina wasn't the same as choosing her as his apprentice. Saskia had suspected that had been his intention all along. _But, why this farce? Or he was serious in choosing from them?_

 _If so_ …her gaze returned to the ring. Hvitur had won thus far.

"Saskia."

She saw him swing his light saber tonfa in her direction; the ridiculous weapon he favored when showing off over his modified saber lance. Saskia returned the cool glare. "I refuse."

"I was looking forward to playing with you." The taller male shrugged, laughing.

Footsteps rang on the polished floor.

"Sorry, I was detained. Have I missed much?"

The other four knights turned to survey the newcomer. Saskia felt the chill seep beneath her heat reflective body suit.

"Aww! No one missed you, Valkyn."

The knight's hawkbat helmet turned, surveyed them.

"You still got that old thing?"

Valkyn shrugged off his short outer cloak. "What can I say? The classics live on. I don't want to waste my time with you, Hvitur. I challenge you instead, Kylo Ren, for title of Master of the Knights of Ren."

She felt her stomach tighten instinctively.

 _Say no_

 _No._

"I accept." Ren said tonelessly.

...

His disappointment ran deep. Two of the four Knights sparred in open contest, falling prey to their same weak blood sporting to impress him. Kylo traced the edges of their Force signatures, displeased. There was nothing beautiful in Hvitur's sloppiness. Only chaos and ugliness. He was a little surprised he couldn't wait for it to end.

 _Had he spent so long in her company he could only think of her and the way she moved?_ Kylo's glance flickered to the other approaching. Jaina wasn't strong enough to challenge the others.

Only one hadn't come. Yet here he was as if manifesting from his thoughts.

"I challenge you instead, Kylo Ren, for title of Master of the Knights of Ren."

Some of his lethargy evaporated. Valkyn's curved saber hilt jabbed crudely in his direction. Kylo was taken back to their youth and sparring until sweat ran down his back.

"I accept." For a moment, he could see himself moving to spring upon the younger fair-haired boy, _electroblades crackling. It wasn't enough to swing the harmless thing, feeling the minor sting imparted by the sparks flying. Ben Solo was angry, he wanted a real light saber in his hand_ -

Kylo moved to the center of the ring, shrugging his shoulders, his cape fell heavily to the floor. Saskia was watching him concernedly from the sidelines.

 _"What're you going to do, Ben?"_

 _About what?_

 _"When she grows up like us?"_

 _The boy was small for his age, unlike lanky Ben Solo; small and fair, almost too pretty. Freckles smattered the bridge of his nose, his eyes were a soft shade of green instead of the indeterminate hazel. The boy was forever saying things that shocked Master Skywalker. Secretly, Ben thought Valerian made his uncle nervous with the things he said._

 _"When she finds a man to take care of her."_

Valkyn's curved light saber ignited, the narrow beam gliding through the air. He chose his favored opening stance of Shii Cho, ready to change into another form like a chameleon at a moment's second.

 _"What's that look for?"_

 _Ben Solo had fallen silent. He said nothing, his brow furrowed, his features some would call strong later in life, brooding, dark precipitating his inner storm._

Kylo held his stance, ignoring the saber's sputtering. He could feel the crystal reacting to his emotions, surging within the chamber. The crystal thirsted for the Knight's blood.

 _"I'll take care of her."_

 _I'll always take care of her._

 _..._

 _What was his game?_

The Knight stared through the narrow visor of his helmet adjusted for the gloomy interior of the room. Ben didn't so much as move. They faced one another, Valkyn's feet shifted. He was antsy, anxious. He didn't expect to win. He was foolish to challenge Solo.

 _I'm the only one who knows._

He felt gleeful, manic. Solo's initiate was here. Valkyn presented an unruffled front. Expressionless, waiting. He could wait. He prized himself on his ability to locate Force sensitives. No one else could sense her.

 _Come at me._

The blade swung for him.

Ripped from his thoughts, Valkyn matched his swing with a wide smack. The two sabers sprung apart, sparks flew. Valkyn saw them sizzle and dissipate into scattered bursts of energy. They reminded him of Solo, broken bits and pieces.

 _"Focus."_ The voice rumbled in his head.

 _Yes, Master_. He needed focus. Valkyn centered himself on his reason for heeding Solo's summons. The light wasn't so bright or vivid existing in the deep darkness of the combined knights. It didn't need to be. Valkyn increased the ferocity of his attacks. He could see it existing like a light in the darkness, the glow of a candle flame comforting his fears. He knew it manifested differently for others - Ben saw it as a sky, Saskia saw it as a clear line like a blade cutting the darkness.

The light side…would show him Ben's destructive path. Speed increasing, he was a second faster, a moment lighter on his feet than the taller, heavier man. Across the room, Saskia flinched as the sabers struck against Ben's side. The pair sizzled, each struggling to overcome the other. In true duelist's fashion, Valkyn sprang aside, following up with a sharp upswing. Solo was a hairsbreadth from being skewered. The blade skimmed the edge of his tunic, close enough to burn the fabric. The Knights tensed. No one in years had come so close to killing Solo, not since the scavenger - and that, Valkyn assured himself was a lucky strike, not skill, not the Force.

Solo looked unnerved, the emotion fleeting. He hadn't expected a nobody to come close to killing him. Valkyn sweated beneath his helmet, heart pounding. Excitement licked his Force signature, he felt confident. He could end it any time he wanted.

"Solah."

"Those rules don't apply here."

Valkyn kept his guard up, his grip one-handed. "Solah!" He called, raising two fingers from his free hand. Saskia nodded relieved, confirming his surrender. "It's over."

Ben tossed her a look of hatred and fury. "It's only over when I say it is."

Valkyn flicked the switch on the saber.

"You would kill an unarmed man?"

Solo leveled the blade, the crimson fire sparked in the black depths of his eyes.

"Your friend?"

He saw the indecision, the fleeting rage pass over his face. Ben seethed inside at this new humiliation. "We were never friends." The saber lowered at last.

The moment was over. The other Knights sensed his withdrawal and filtered out disappointed. Someone else had entered quietly, arms at her sides, slim and dark-haired. He turned his head slightly to keep her in sight. The knight licked his lips, the motion unseen. He had one last parting shot for Solo."Your blade…, had no focus, no clarity. Anger doesn't cloud your swordsmanship, rather it is empty and purposeless. You disappoint me, Ben. I expected more of a showing from you, son of darkness."

...

 _I want to show you something._

Jaina followed his unhurried pace through the Dreadnought's labyrinth of corridors. She stayed at a respectful distance, quieter than normal. He had noticed her pallor and lack of effusive greeting. Jaina was preoccupied with thoughts that didn't revolve around him. Kylo knew enough about her moods from careful study to know it.

"I've been thinking it was time to choose an apprentice."

In the turbolift, they were alone with the droid. The BB unit peeped around her legs at his statement, but Jaina scarcely reacted. "So you chose to find an heir rather than marry."

"Yes." _Are you pleased?_ The unspoken tail end of his sentence hovered between them. The flavor of her jealousy had been tasted on various occasions. Her jealousy burned hotter than his own, stoked by what she thought was beyond reach. He began to wonder, observing the slice of her profile visible to him, if she had simply given up.

"Who?"

"Are you concerned?"

She thought a moment, "not really. I was just wondering who I was going to answer to in the future."

No, she wasn't happy or pleased. There was none of the usual frisson of excitement in the Force surrounding her. He derived no warmth or light from it, only detachment. She was tolerating his summons, but not enjoying anything about their exchange. The difference struck him forcefully. Questions formulated in his mind - the ever present feeling of inadequacy loomed up. Then, he stopped himself. Jaina was only acting as he had wanted her to act for the past two years. Subservient - a weapon. Far from being pleased, he felt disappointed.

Silence dominated the remainder of their ride to the level where his quarters were located.

Stormtroopers went from at ease to attention upon sighting their exit.

Kylo accepted their uniformity with a slight salute of his own. Fear alone often made the difference in whether or not he was obeyed, but sometimes it was a gesture that mattered. Jaina stayed behind him, retaining a moderate distance between them when he accessed the door panel. "Come." He motioned more impatiently than he should've. But, she moved forward, entering in ahead of him. The droid rolled after her, photoreceptor eye turned toward him in passing.

Inside his room, he felt her gaze settle on him - not on anything else.

Instead of speaking, he went to the other door that didn't lead to the 'fresher. The door that had often consoled him in his private moments of desperation. The rite was almost sacred to him, allowing another to see the most important person from his past. Kylo put in the code, his back to her. The door retracted allowing the inner chamber to be seen. Jaina was slighter than him, but even she could see what it was resting on the circular table.

The crushed helmet drew her attention - the tray of ashes from those who had crossed him, resided in an indistinct corner.

"My grandfather, Darth Vader."

...

She saw the ashes.

She saw the helmet. A flash of Darth Vader went through her head. She saw Anakin Skywalker's youthful Force ghost exchanging banter with his first master. She felt her inner reserve crumbling. It was impossible to remain detached. A younger Kylo Ren came to the helmet for solace, as Luke had assumed. He spoke to it, waiting for it to answer. It was a pattern, a habit of steps, moments when he felt lost. She sensed his undercurrent of tension, his confusion creating internal strife. He warred with himself on what to do about her.

 _Kill her._

 _Use her._

 _Love her._

The last one she had been expecting, the expectation wrapped with fear.

 _I cannot follow your path._

"Why are you showing me this?" She said, her voice tightly controlled. The persona she had cultivated as a person had begun to change as well. She was not so much the lovestruck fool as a Jedi. She was bits and pieces of affection, continually rebuffed until the longing had worn down to a distant pain. She reinforced the heart that ached to comfort him with the person she was becoming. _I am a Jedi_. She tried to soothe herself with those thoughts, daring her mental barrier to be breached. She steeled herself against his slight, hurt look.

"I want you to be my apprentice."

Almost as soon as the words had left his mouth, she responded.

"No." She thought he was going to become violent, enraged, but he was calm. The calmness was far more concerning than outright hostility. "The Knights will think I'm an upstart."

"Prove them wrong."

"They'll despise you for it."

"I don't care."

She felt herself tremble. That emotion thickening his voice couldn't be for her, could it? Hope surged in her chest despite her best attempts to stifle it. "Don't…please." Jaina was certain he had sensed it from the triumphant expression he wore. "Don't ask for what I can't give you."

"And why not?" He advanced closer to her, patient, with a confidence she wouldn't have thought he had.

"Because...that was in the past. I'm trying to forget it." _I realized...they were right. Those feelings were incompatible with my path._ "It's better for both of us." She murmured, her throat constricting. "I'm sorry." Jaina turned quickly around, preparing to bolt.

Then, she collided into a wall. It felt like one - created by the Force. Kylo lowered his hand. The droid squeaked from the opposite side of the invisible barrier.

"Say that with a straight face."

She felt him behind her.

"If you care about me." She forced the words from her lips. "Let me go."

After a long moment of tense silence, she felt the shift across her temples, crawling across her skin. The energy retracted; Jaina made herself leave.

...

The _Gilad Pellaeon_ hovered within the vast cloud of dust and gas that constituted the _Ghost Nebulae_. The devastated planet of Atoa could be seen from the viewports on the bridge. Jagged Fel knew they had moved into unofficial Empire space, the people of Umbara had once worked undercover until the New Republic's rise, retreating to their homeworld in the Expansion Region. Umbara's primary export was Doonium, a white-grey metal used extensively in starship construction. After ensuring his orders would be carried out concerning the shipment of metals for future repairs, Fel returned to his quarters, summoning the ex Stormtrooper to his attached personal office. He didn't have to wait long. Finn was prompt, hastily tucking away an oil-stained cloth into one of the many pockets of his tan jumpsuit.

"Captain Fel," Finn greeted barely a shade less precise than one of the many Stormtroopers aboard ship.

"Thanks for coming on such short notice." He gestured to the holoplate which gradually expanded a holographic image of a young fair-haired man in the formal attire of an Imperial ranking Captain. "Finn, this is Jori Lekauf, my unofficial second in command and…a friend."

Finn found himself sized up by the other man. Lekauf's smile however was warm and his gaze friendly. "I don't believe we've met before. I was one of the few who didn't attend the meeting a while back. Imperial protocol to keep a reserve in case of a leak."

 _So this guy is…_

"Uh, nice to meet you too."

"He has overall command over the _Steel Talon_ , an Imperial-class Star Destroyer whose firing power matches our _Pellaeon_."

"So this is about the coaxium?" Finn recognized the name of the ship.

"Just a debriefing," Fel said breezily. "We have people in place to guide you along. Jori thought given the current state of galactic affairs warranted a quick discussion on potential problems."

Finn didn't like the sound of that. "Problems?" He could think of a whole mountain-load of problems that could descend on them, including a First Order-sized one.

"One of them being the amount of planets accepting the First Order's rule." Fel said. "Commander Dameron reminded me of a recruiting mission his Black Squadron went on in the Outer Rim a number of years ago. You may recall the unfortunate details regarding Ikkruk's defensive system taken down by First Order loyalists on the ground."

"I think so. I looked at the files on Kobol that you guys have. In order to reach the sector, you have to pass through a hypergate which leaves you in the middle of Galatica station, a security checkpoint. Each planet is protected by an upper atmospheric orbital ring similar to Imperial tech. The only way in or out is through the ring."

"Yes, something similar was used on Scarif before the Rebellion infiltrated the Imperial archive." Lekauf supplied. "So we know it isn't infallible. All our intelligence points to a lack of First Order presence in Kobol. They would seem to be focusing on infrastructure and establishing Chandrila as their capitol world."

"What about us?" Finn asked. "Do we have a capitol world planned?"

Jagged Fel looked hesitant on sharing certain information with him. "I suppose it's known by some that we've held onto the Braxant Sector in the Outer Rim. Part of the Empire's forces retreated to the fortress world of Bastion after the Emperor's death. Bastion is now being considered as our home base." Lekauf nodded slightly. "The _Steel Talon_ was stationed there while the rabble were being rounded up."

Finn wasn't sure if he liked the sound of that. "You mean there were First Order loyalists on the planet?"

"You could think of them as such." Lekauf admitted, a shadow of weariness passed over his face. Jag knew he referred to a faction of Imperialists who argued for joining the First Order's operations. "Among them was a pretender to the throne, Warlord Harrsk."

"What about Kobol?" Finn interrupted; he wanted to understand the deeper issues at stake such as defeating the behemoth the First Order had become, but the pair were largely talking in way over his head.

"What do you mean?" Lekauf asked.

"If Ikkruk can be overrun, then Kobol's defenses might not be enough."

...

 _I think…that's the worst word in any galactic tongue._

… _is almost_.

She tried not to think of him. _No mindedness_. The eye of the storm was a calm center in the midst of a chaotic surge. The pair were evenly, unevenly matched coming at her from both sides. The unevenness gave her an edge. The Force allowed her to see…the places where they cut down, across. She deflected Secura's blue saber, her single grip swung forward, then down and forward. The blur of light produced by the three blades flickered, flashed in a synchronous hum. Jaina spun and danced between them, the red blade glided in an arc, coming down to block Fisto's wide swing for her chest.

Segura went for her back. Jaina broke off contact, evading to the side, kicking out simultaneously. The Twi'lek Jedi Master smiled slightly, her reserve cracking. Kit sent her a reproving look. Now wasn't the time to go easy on her. His saber swung around his body. Jaina recognized the signature cho move, her blade beginning the orbital revolution of defense.

 _Every obstacle is a lesson to be learned._

Blue and green plasma crossed. Each blow lancing off the revolving cage. Jaina kept her right hand tucked against her abdomen. Feet moderately spread, she felt momentary panic arise in her. One wrong move and the blade could slice into her arm. She felt the heat blur, come close to burning her. But it never did. Secura's saber sought an opening, her demonstration of Form V proved Shien's versatility. Panic made her breath short. She broke the circle of shelter by performing a deflective slash.

The pair leapt back out of range.

Jaina resumed the high guard stance, the saber angled forward above her head, her free hand loosely curled outward. She was gradually improving her defensive abilities, learning how to read the Force flow around an opponent. The technique circle of shelter was reminiscent of battle meditation as it resulted tapping into a moving meditative state. Most of the time she had to focus on not getting the saber smacked out of her hand.

An unseen signal passed between the Jedi.

"I think that's enough for now." Fisto said, dropping his Shii Cho stance. Secura did the same, her twin lekku swaying. "You need to work on your stamina." She said calmly. "Your hands are shaking."

They were...slightly. Jaina hadn't noticed much. She did feel her shoulders protest, her fingers cramped loosening their single grip. She had been sweating profusely since the beginning. It was much more intense with two opponents coming at her.

"What Aayla means," Fisto flashed the Twi'lek his signature disarming grin. "Form IV is physically taxing on the body. She's trying to encourage you without meaning to appear so."

Secura huffed, looking away.

"You've got the basics down for Soresu." He continued reassuringly. "Your defense is good, your stances are on par with what I would expect of an older student. You need to work on your circle of protection with multiple opponents."

Jaina nodded, clipping the saber to her belt. As eager as she was to begin Ataru, the thought of extreme physical activity left her imagining hours of aches and pains.

"Are you still having those dreams?"

"No." The feeling of guilt wouldn't subside. "No, they stopped." She pushed it away, trying to think calming thoughts. Her mind stubbornly kept returning to _Ren and the moment when he_...she couldn't completely rid her body's physical memory of the way his hands felt on her face, the brusque brush of his gloved fingertips wiping her tears away. And then. _"I want you to be my apprentice." He was calm for her. He wouldn't force her if she wasn't emotionally-_

She was relieved when they disappeared without questioning her further.

"Almost." Jaina whispered to herself under the sonic shower head. She had seen the Jedi look at one another with mutual longing, their interactions intense. They fought in synchronized union as if they'd fought a lifetime together. She ached to that have that kind of bond with someone. _Anyone. With Kylo_. If she was truthful with herself, it couldn't be any other. _But, the Jedi disapproved of attachments. They still did_. Furious with herself, she rubbed her hot face. She was letting herself get carried away again. Those feelings were the past. She was letting go of the past in order to move forward.

"Train yourself to let go of everything you're afraid to lose." She consciously repeated to herself, pressing her hand against the cold tiled shower wall. If only she could make herself do it.

...

For one moment, Saskia had dared imagine a future of her own choosing. Wrapped in the cold safety offered by the faraway sector, she thought of a moment when she hesitated. Presently, warm hands wrapped around her upper shoulders. She felt the man's physical _human_ warmth against her back, the tickle of his breath against her cheek and press of his lips to the side of her face following.

"Credit for your thoughts?" The captain of the Dauntless whispered.

"Oh, you." She said instead, frustrated with his ability to fluster her. Two years ago, she wouldn't have entertained the thought of resuming her relationship or...whatever it was with Radford. Then, Jaina happened. She could think of no other way to describe the woman. Jaina made her think the impossible was possible. She had felt hopeful again. _And the most wonderful part of it all, if Ren noticed or sensed anything, he didn't seem to care_. The bed sank down beneath Radford's weight. "I notice you haven't left as much as before. That initiate not working out?"

"On the contrary," she sighed, leaning against his shoulder. "I'm not needed."

"Now _that_...I find hard to believe." Radford twined a loose corkscrew curl around his forefinger, tugging on it gently.

"She defeated me." _More than once_. "I don't know how much more I can show her that she doesn't already know."

He ceased playing with her loose hair, clasping the side of her face to turn her toward him.

"What's wrong?" He looked her full in the face. "I can see something's troubling you."

 _I..._

"There was a moment," she covered his hand with her own. "...when the Knights were going to attack Kylo Ren." _It's all for power._ Their sudden surge of bloodlust like animals scenting prey had startled her from her thinking of them as bonded, an unbreakable unit. Radford surprised her then. "Why didn't you and them get rid of him once and for all?" His tone and expression were serious. Saskia trembled, despising the sudden feeling that she would never be warm again. "I don't know the others' reasons. I only know mine."

"Saskia...,"

"I'm scared of her." I never told you, or him...what exactly I saw..., "It was quite a long time ago...Jaina wasn't doing well. She was failing everything and I was harsh with her. There was just once when she...lost control. It was then, that I saw something inside her."

 _I knew in that room that if I cut Kylo Ren down, I would face something far worse._

She knew it was hopeless, V'lane couldn't understand everything. Turning her head a quarter of an inch, she caught his puzzled frown, endearing him more to her. "That's not the only thing. Ren was seeking guidance from the dark side. I don't know if I should tell her or not...," her face screwed up. "Snoke would want for nothing less than for Ren to turn on Jaina. She can't trust him. No one can."

"I think you should tell her." For himself, he immediately quashed the surge of excitement. "Just my opinion. But, the initiate...you seem close to her. Telling her to be careful isn't being disloyal to the Supreme Leader." He kissed her cheek. "Whatever you choose, I know you'll make the right decision."

…

The light was a spark…he could feel across the galaxy. It was her light. The same one he had been drawn to during his meditation. Jaina existed in the living Force, brightly luminescent. She didn't _appear_ to be as powerful as Rey had been - but there was something. The light drew others toward it for its effervescence.

 _"Jaina."_

She was meditating somewhere, her peace briefly disrupted. _"Not now, Luke."_

She was trying to levitate herself through meditation. Yoda was with her and Shaak Ti. He could feel them suddenly, existing in the Force, part of the Force. Jaina gained a few feet, he could feel her consciousness expanding with the release of emotion. The black and silver BB unit she always had with her, rotated through the air, levitating with her.

There was no doubt clouding her mind, he thought almost enviously. She knew she could do it.

Jaina exhaled and descended slowly down, wobbling twice from her perfect balance. Luke sensed her touch the floor again, remembering Artoo hitting the damp earth of Dagobah. Jaina relaxed, resting her hands on the tops of her thighs. The Force ghosts disappeared from the sphere of light side energy surrounding her.

 _"What is it?"_

 _"I was going to ask how my sister's doing. But, since you're busy-"_

 _"She's fine. I spoke to her a few days ago."_

In between those words, a slight catch, reticence. There was something else Jaina wasn't saying. Luke wondered if Leia had begun to figure it out and if so, questioned her closely. It was just like his sister to not shy away from the truth.

 _"What - no torture sessions?"_ Luke made no effort to hide his sarcasm.

 _"Luke, please. I…"_ Jaina paused, collecting her thoughts. _"I walked out on her. He told me…she wanted to see me and so I went, but I…I think the past…should die. All that was bad, let it go. The old Jedi may have failed, but they never stopped fighting to protect the light. Take what is good from the past and remake it anew, I think that is the lesson you should keep from the Jedi. The darkness may have won, but the hope that inspired the Rebels on Scarif remade the Rebel Alliance."_

 _"I thought you were pro-Empire."_

He had the sense of her smile, luminescent across the stars.

 _"Have you ever heard the story about Jyn Erso and Rogue One?"_

Luke couldn't say he ever had. He remembered Artoo's mission and Leia, the princess he had nearly lost his heart to, but almost nothing from before he joined the Rebels. Now he supposed it wasn't a lack of interest, there was simply no time to converse about fallen heroes. Luke said as much to her.

 _"They didn't think of themselves as heroes, Luke. They were simply people who believed in a better future."_ Then, she paused trying to remember the exact saying. _"So you've never heard them say, Rebellions are built on hope?"_

 _"Not really."_

 _"You disappoint me."_ Jaina added by way of explanation. _"I finished galactic history earlier."_

" _Ah. That was more of an education than I got."_

 _"Oh, don't be jealous. If you asked Madame Nu nicely, I'm positive she would talk to you."_

 _"No thanks. I'd rather stay in ignorance."_ He thought so if it came from that bespectacled stern-looking Force ghost.

...

Five times she failed.

She had kept hitting the floor unable to reach the proper meditative state. _I have to let go of each emotion, become an empty vessel for the Force_. Thinking over what they had said was easier said than done. She was too full of emotion to properly channel her old thought patterns.

 _I don't think I'm going to be able to do that again_ , she thought crossly, her thoughts turning toward Skywalker's request. He wanted to know how his sister was. Understandable, but given the way their visit went the last time, she was reluctant to continue getting to know the former Rebel general. The blame lay within herself, Jaina admitted silently. She handled it badly and looked like a fool for not being able to control her emotions. _Leia didn't see it like that...Leia wanted to comfort her as if she were a child_. Annoyed with herself, Jaina wasn't tired enough to return to her room. Rising to her feet, she began a run through of Form II. Light on her feet, her body loosened up from the stiffness of her meditation posture. Not long after she had begun, there was a slight disturbance in the Force.

"Leave me alone." Jaina murmured, continuing her swings as if she couldn't feel the coldness in the room. The temperature dropped below comfortable levels causing gooseflesh to break out on her bare arms. The Sith's face manifested in the shadows, surrounded by the deep hooded cowl, the remainder of his long, thin body was indistinct from view."Such dedication!"

"Go away."

"You are what they make you. Strong, isolated. A Jedi in training."

"I'm not listening to you." The word _isolated_ struck a chill in her soul. Jaina determinedly ignored the Sith's forward glide until he was less than a meter from her. _That was a fluke. I lost control_. She feinted a wide Shii Cho move, her footwork sweeping her across the floor. _That's the thing. I let myself lose control_. The blade held down before beginning a revolving spin, faster and faster until the arc of light blurred into a Force-enhanced hum. But, the energy surrounding her was far from calm. Jaina could feel her agitation building. _I won't let my feelings control me_. _Mace Windu, the best duelist of his era, could see right through me._

She broke out of her defensive stance, her lunge similar to a Makashi stab. She didn't stumble, didn't need to correct her grip. She felt some of her confidence return. This was proof she was improving. She looked down at her hand, _no trembling here_. "How were you murdered?" Jaina felt her curiosity mounting, she straightened her stance. She had been hostile before. The Muun far outclassed her strength, but she sensed no hostility in the Force surrounding him.

"Sidious, my apprentice, had ascended to the rank of Chancellor. I never slept in all my days, fear of assassination kept me awake. On that night, I let my guard down, drinking freely in his presence. I believed, you see, that we would reign together over the galaxy."

"But, you were mistaken." She looked almost sadly at him. "The Sith have always betrayed one another."

"When I fell asleep, Sidious used force lightning on my breathing device. I didn't need to defend my claim that I had achieved immortality - as my essence here proves it."

"So you agree, then? The Jedi are correct. There is no death." She felt validated in her beliefs. Not everyone believed as she did - it was true, but maybe the future could be different.

"Would you care to test that theory?" He offered, smirking. "I don't believe in the Mist-Beyond, or the Jedi netherworld."

"No, because I know it's true." Jaina said simply. "You were known as Plagueis the wise. Where did you acquire your vast knowledge from?"

"Through my master, Tenebrous. He was a Bith Sith, who had taken on another apprentice alongside myself. Venamis proved to be a minor challenge, believing himself to be Tenebrous' rightful heir."

"I can imagine." She said drily. "But, there must have been other ways you acquired knowledge."

"There were my experiments. Tenebrous was a scientist first and foremost. He possessed a brilliant mind that was bent on constructing a virus to separate the Jedi from the Force."

"That's possible?" Her eyes widened, _now that was a scary thought_.

"He thought it was and there were holocrons from dark masters that contained knowledge not seen in the galaxy anymore."

"I know what those are." Jaina said less confidently. "Even Jedi created them. The most famous being the Tendryn holocron that held the knowledge of the old Order."

"Hmm, yes. Unscrupulous they might be, it's a terrible thing when knowledge is lost. There are still those who seek to destroy these precious artifacts. The location of one in particular has been recently revealed to you."

"What do you mean?"

"The Knight of Ren whose memories you touched, was in pursuit of one. It was stolen from my apprentice's hoard decades ago and only recently the ship has been identified in a Tatooine junkyard."

Her eyes flickered away. "Does Kylo Ren know about it?"

"Pah! I don't concern myself with his lack of knowledge. I would assume you don't need to ask. Their betrayal of him is no different than the legacy of the dark side."

"You sound remarkably bitter for someone who _was_ a Darth." Jaina pretended to cover her mouth in dismay. "I meant to say _is_."

"You're a bit rude."

"Thanks, I try to be with Sith ghosts who interrupt my practice." She said primly, striding to the door. She sensed the Sith melt away, his essence dissipating until the remnant of cold air was all that remained.

...

Sweat ran down his torso.

Moisture, grime on his skin made him think of the hot climate of the jungle world. Wide open gaps surrounded by far off alien trees, flowers, lush undergrowth trampled by many feet and his uncle, the sage Jedi Master in his tan and white robes.

The cold stale air felt good against his face.

Once stripped to the waist, he resumed his familiar routine that had been momentarily broken by the mission to Arkanis. Captain Farady preferred to resume a routine patrol through the capitol world's system while overruling him, Hux insisted on reviewing one of the First Order's many flight schools which included a tedious examination of their holoreports.

Unnoticed when he walked away from the proceedings on the bridge, Kylo had very little interest in the future pilots of his armies. Cannon fodder. Lives wasted tamping down dissent in distant systems. _All trifles_.

"These pilots won't be raised from infancy to believe in the First Order." Farady had said concerned, reading over the manifesto. "How do we know they'll carry out our commands?"

"They'll all come from one place or another, captain. The First Order dealt away with individuality decades ago." Hux had said smugly. Now he could only wonder if the plan to restore the cloning facility had been accomplished. Privately, he had believed it was a better step in following his grandfather's ideals by using clones out in the field. As his thoughts drifted, he thought back to Valkyn's jab at his dueling skills. Kylo envisioned his late grandfather surrounded by the Inquisitorius - Vader never would've showed weakness or fear. He wouldn't have shuddered to feel their sudden tense, the barely held restraint of wild animals smelling his death. If Valkyn had cut him, they surely would've rushed upon him, sabers igniting. Then, they would've fought among themselves, mindlessly for power. Only Saskia stayed motionless, scared. No, not scared for him. She was scared of what would happen to her if she joined in the fray.

Someone knocked on the door, preceded by a flash of an ID code. Captain Farady appeared a moment later in the doorway. Spare, precise in his tailored uniform, he stood at attention.

"I came to address my reservations, Supreme Leader."

Kylo took a towel from the rack, curious, he waited for the man to continue.

"General Hux," Farady said in tones of thinly concealed disgust. "Has made it clear that my pilots and troops are to be replaced. These are loyal men and women who have served the First Order and this ship for years. I just came from a private audience with him where he said in no certain terms am I allowed to keep my current legions. I am supposed to authorize a full trade with Captain Amaral in one week."

"That's your concern, captain?"

The man obviously had put a great deal of thought into his problem and felt it warranted more than dismissal. "If you wish to call it that, then, yes."

"One is the same as the other."

"No, they aren't."

He was only a little surprised the captain wouldn't readily agree.

"That's like comparing two women because the slit between their legs is the same." Farady said straight-faced. Kylo raised a brow at the man's assessment.

"If I might be frank with you."

"I can't think of anything less than you have been."

"Please countermand General Hux's order. I know my pilots, who is the best, which legion performs well. Breaking them apart is the same as disassembling a perfectly functioning machine."

"Why should I do anything?"

"Because, I believe you know better than he does." Farady lowered his gaze respectfully to the floor. "All that's left is for you to act on the things you want to do."

"We see differently, captain. A perfectly ordered machine isn't dependent on the difference of one or two of its limbs. You're speaking of your personal preference, attaching meaning to faceless things. They are your will, captain, not anything less."

Farady colored, but stood his ground. "If you believe it, then Ionone, what is she?"

Kylo had turned his back on the man, attempting to affect a dismissal.

"She is the same as everyone else. That's what you're saying. She has no meaning, no purpose. Why did you save her from Soramar Ren? I know he wasn't part of the rebels. I'm not that stupid."

"Soramar disobeyed me. He had to be punished."

"Why do you want to keep her safe from your knights?"

"I don't have to answer you."

Farady stepped back, retreating from the ice in his tone. "No, you don't. For two years, you've been watching over her, celebrating her small triumphs, encouraging her when she fails. Ionone is the closest person you have in your life to a friend who could be more." Farady stopped at the door. "She makes you happy. What does denying your feelings for her, do for you?"

He raised his hand in a threatening gesture. Farady tilted his head at a slight angle, vaguely disgusted. "I don't know a lot about the Force, but love is the same no matter what form it takes."

...

"She finally left." V'lane's comment was mostly to himself. He had finished his rounds early, returning to his quarters, he packed a light kit of various weaponry and clothing suitable for the mission. Miura met him on the ramp leading into the _Blackhawk's_ cargo hold. "Lady Ren, sir?"

But, he didn't answer. It had been difficult to keep shielding his thoughts from the knight. Thankfully she was distracted enough by frequent kisses to not question his abstraction. So Ren was threatened by his Knights and had chosen to seek lessons from his dead master. Both were interesting developments and possibly the most crucial aspect was the initiate. If she could be convinced of Ren's betraying her, or being a threat to her life... _she could be turned_.

"I've uploaded the flight plan to the onboard computer." Miura continued. "The ship's been refueled so by my calculations you'll have enough to make the four hour jump and return ahead Lady Ren."

Radford shook himself out of his thoughts. "I'm supposed to rendezvous with some of the princess's people. See how that goes."

"Godspeed, captain." Miura saluted him, stepping back. "Oh, and stay away from the casino."

...

The _Tua Lu_ flew in through the tractor beam of the _Gilad Pellaeon_. Maz and Emmie guided the freighter to the docking station sent by the air tower. She despised the uniformed officers, the clanking white armor of the Stormtroopers filling the main hangar. As she disembarked, a pair of TIE clawcraft flew in. Recognizable through their familiar cockpit ball, the outer structure projected a three point shield and was said to be among the finest of Chiss technology. Maz saw small scale AT-ATs worked on in a hub while Stormtroopers drilled new cadets. She had the sense of expectation among the humans and alien races calling the Star Destroyer home.

"Where is that old bantha poodoo?" She muttered to herself, sensing the lack of darkness. There had always been that underlying presence aboard the ship. In a thousand-year lifespan, she had never known a Force signature quite like his. Her eyes narrowed, she rubbed her jaw. Her ruminations were interrupted by the sudden shout of the Clawcraft squadron's leader.

"Maz!" Poe Dameron removed his helmet, his black curls sprung loose around his tanned face. Maz chuckled at his exuberance. She had always had a soft spot for that errant flyboy.

"What're you doing here?"

"Oh, I came to deliver this heap of junk." She muttered good-naturedly. Poe glanced at the metal trolley Emmie wheeled down the _Tua Lu's_ ramp. The burlap sacks distended and tied tightly with a medallion of dubious origin momentarily confused the pilot.

"What is it? Bombs?"

She sighed over his naiveté. "Just a whole lot of artifacts your benefactors hired me to retrieve." Maz figured Captain Fel must've been called as the usual retinue of Stormtroopers suddenly stood at attention. Foremost among them, was a face she almost thought she'd never see again. "Well, hello there, Luke." She could think of a handful of other words, colorful curses to add on as the Jedi Master crossed the deck, surprise alight in his eyes.

Poe must've sensed something as he excused himself to attend to his squadron of trainees.

"It's been far too long."

"That it has been."

The lounge was comfortably outfitted with armchairs; woven textile rugs in traditional patterns covered the metallic floor panels.

"I sent a girl to you." She didn't need to focus her lens on his face to see the downcast expression residing there. "She carried a lot of hopes with her. What happened?" This time, Maz couldn't hold back her accusatory tone. Maybe things would be different now if Rey had lived…

"I refused to train her." Luke had his hands wrapped around the cup of caf. "I showed her three lessons trying to show her that the way of the Jedi was wrong."

Maz nodded a little sadder than before. She had expected as much from the abrupt retelling of Rey's end. "I gave her your family's light saber. I felt it belonged to her."

"She tried to give it to me and I threw it away. Can you believe that?"

 _We all make mistakes_.

"Ben Solo has it now."

"I know. That woman had the Jade legacy saber. I…met her during one of my collecting trips. Those items comprise the first lot from Snoke's private collection." Maz took a heavy draught of whiskey. "She's grown up beautiful like her mother and strong."

"Rey didn't know about them."

"I figured you'd grown up enough by now to be a father to someone."

One side of his mouth lifted in a crooked smile. "Han used to say the kid has a kid. We were both kids who never grew up even when we had younglings of our own." He set the cup down within reach. "So why are you helping the Imperial Remnant?"

Maz had numerous reasons including repaying Fel for keeping the spark of hope alive. Mostly it was credits. "Since my castle was destroyed on Takodana, I've taken to my old ways. It's a tough, but exciting life smuggling goods. I'm on contract with Captain Fel to provide them with certain artifacts of ill repute among other things. It's primarily a business-oriented relationship. What about yourself?"

Her sharp eyes didn't miss the Jedi Master's hesitation. "Well, to be honest I had washed my hands of the whole thing. The galaxy's living legend…some legend I turned out to be. Then, I realized that if I didn't keep fighting, what was I living for? I didn't need to fight for the galaxy, I could fight for my sister, I could fight for everyone else around me. Someone repeated to me the words that gave courage to the men and women from Rogue One." He had heard the story of the Imperial scientist's daughter and her mission to steal the plans for the Death Star. Luke felt he owed their memory enough to commit the words to his own mind as a reminder that some sacrifices had to be made. He chose not to remark about _who_ had told him the story.

" _Rebellions are built on hope_. When I remembered it and saw the hope that spurred the Imperial Remnant, I thought maybe this was the place I needed to be. This was the fight I wanted to carry. I know you can't understand their beliefs and I know - the Empire was…what it was, but they along with Leia's people might have a chance at working together for future peace."

Silence fell between them.

"You came back for her, didn't you? When you wouldn't do anything for Rey."

"I came back for Leia." He said firmly. Luke accepted the blame she attached to him. He had tortured himself with maybes and what ifs the entire time after seeing the Millennium Falcon leaving Ahch-To. It was cruel, but it needed to be said to absolve his guilt. "Rey was nobody. She wasn't my flesh and blood."

...

The look on his face disconcerted a great deal of the bridge crew. Amaral walked up and down the T-shaped catwalk, observing the work done at various stations with something close to good humor.

Everyone knew something was afoot.

 _I'm not going to be destroyed -_

A terse message from Hux had come in earlier during his morning routine. As punishment - punishment for following orders! He rankled at the notion he should be punished for obeying direct orders. The punishment included a patrol of a distant, dull sector faraway from important galactic centers and trading his crew with Farady's.

This last was an observation given with a sneer. Connix had caught up to him in the hallway, delivering a rapid-fire spout of her report. _The Executrix's right cannon had suffered overheating issues. Mechanics were deployed to check the underbelly of the Dreadnought -_

"Do you think the crew is loyal to me?" He asked in the middle of her delivery. Connix broke off with a confused look on her face that quickly smoothened out into Imperial indifference.

"Yes."

"No, they're not. A good portion of them came from the _Finalizer._ The older crew members were favorites of the general's. I've had a mixed bag of loyalties ever since being given command of this ship."

"Since the beginning?" Connix asked innocently.

"I'm not _that_ old." He caught the tail end of her amused smile. It did something to her face. Made her look open, approachable. "This was Sloane's ship for a brief time." Amaral said distractedly. "In the _beginning._ "

"Grand Admiral Sloane? I've always admired her rise in the Imperial Navy." Connix said enthusiastically, somehow it sounded forced.

He hadn't personally liked the women too much from what he recalled of her, she had a core of iron. Nothing soft or feminine except for her long curly hair that somehow always escaped its binder. "She was accused of incompetence after letting a band of Imperials go from this ship. Snoke…or whatever he called himself then, had placed a warrant of execution on the head of a Force user with them." He dropped his tone as they walked toward the turbolift. "I had the feeling, Sloane was all too happy to rebel in some small way."

"Why?" They entered the lift together. Amaral punched in the floor number for himself. "She disagreed with Rax's the Empire needs children memo. She had holed up here on this ship with other like-minded people who believed we should expand the empire with aliens, ending the exclusion policy Palpatine made law. Rax's beliefs fostered a whole host of unsavory plans that the majority acted upon. I was relatively young in those days and considered an untouchable." So don't lump me in with them.

"You?"

He smiled thinking of his younger self. "I was a filthy scavenger. When Brendol brought me here, I was barely above an animal." The effect of his statement loosened up her expression. He glanced at her. "Oh, my father had been a technocrat, but he was gone and so was anyone else who might've remembered me. The New Republic destroyed us." He saw her struggle with her feelings for a moment, then she looked away.

"You seem so…I wouldn't have thought."

"Like one of them?" He had modeled himself after Brendol so the comparison wasn't striking. "I am. I'm just as cruel and monstrous as they come. The Executrix crew despises me otherwise for my background. I'm not one of the good old boys." His lip curled disdainfully.

"A lot of people weren't." Connix said softly, peering at him from under her eyelashes. The effect was one of shyness.

Sloane wasn't. She was from some backwater planet or so he'd heard.

"You really admire Sloane?"

Connix wasn't sure how to answer. She chewed her lip stalling for time. If anything, the action made her appear hesitant, maybe unsure if an affirmative made her look wrong. Amaral was tired of second-guessing his crew, although Farady was in for hell with the crew being in Hux's pocket. But, that was his problem.

"They're trading us over on officers of a certain class. You'd be stationed on the Supreme Leader's flagship." He saw her go pale. "It's a…promotion of sorts. Captain Farady is…bound to lose his authority so you'll be answering to General Hux." He noticed her hesitation, taking it as a good sign. "If you don't mind a long boring patrol through the Expansion Region….I've heard the Ghost Nebulae near the Helgentar system is currently expanding."

...

The _Starfall_ docked in the main hangar. The outer hull had a layer of space dust dulling the silver paint. "I'll be gone a short while." Saskia said to her personal guard. She wore her long outer cloak over a heat reflective suit. She received a few nods of recognition from the Stormtrooper legion performing a routine drill. "What's all this?" She caught the hum of a saber intermingled with the pew-pew of blasters.

The troopers had formed a loose wide ring. Four of them knelt in tactical combat, firing at a central figure who wielded the saber with tight, economical motion. Jaina's deflects were sharp, almost perfect. A few officers watched from the observation deck above, among them, grey-haired commander Duma.

"Blaster practice?"

"Live practice." Jaina limped visibly, absently rubbing the spot where the cloth had burned down to the skin. She had been hit multiple times, proving her skills were novice level. "I've been practicing a great deal lately while you've been gone."

"Ren doesn't do defense. Is there any particular reason why you're learning it?"

"Sometimes, the goal isn't to win, but rather to survive a duel." Jaina said coolly. "Wearing down a difficult enemy and maintaining your strength should be a duelist's primary concern."

"That sounds more like your fighting style." Saskia commented, trying not to smile. BB-9e chirped a cautious greeting, rolling away from a cluster of red-eyed BB units.

"You've never exerted a great deal of kinetic energy in live combat. Using a fighting style that promoted conservation of energy sounds like a good strategy for yourself."

They took the turbolift up to the floor, easily falling back into routine. "It's not really a technique I'm developing. When I think about it, somehow it all makes sense. I think you should always err on the side of caution when facing an opponent."

"Is Ren still distant?"

"The same. I've been busy as of late." Jaina lied. _Distant enough to show me Vader's helmet and ask me to be his apprentice._ "He said to try footwork and a more aggressive pace. I got bored and decided to try blaster deflect. Next time, the whole legion."

"Somebody's ambitious. Ren wouldn't like it if you were permanently damaged."

Jaina went ahead and unlocked the doors from the keypad. "Really now, that makes me feel a whole lot better. Being damaged...sounds like I'm a thing and not a person."

"You know I didn't mean it like that."

She took up position across from her.

"Tell me something I don't know about one of your fellow Knights."

Saskia began her warm-up routine, stretching out her muscles from the long flight. "Curious about them? Don't worry, they don't compare to you."

Jaina tried to find a smile, managing a small tight curl of her lips. Her arms were aching from swinging the saber around in Form III kata. "Tell me about Valkyn."

"Valkyn…" Saskia's force signature flickered into darkness. Her expression turned brooding. "He challenged me once when Snoke had praised my swordsmanship. Valkyn beat me to a pulp. He hammered my mask in and likely would've killed me if Snoke hadn't forbade it. He said I had claws, but no teeth to bare at my enemies." She ignited one half of the dual-saber. "Valkyn was the first of Luke's students. He challenged Ren at one point for the title of Master of the Knights."

Jaina stilled her Form I swings, surprised. "What?"

"He lost to him. I guess that's hardly surprising when we're talking about Kylo Ren."

Through their training bond, Jaina felt the disquietude engendered by her speaking of the knight. Images formed in Saskia's mind punctuated by concern.

Kylo Ren young, unscarred, challenging a masked figure. Ren was still Ben Solo. Fierce, with his power to prove and allegiance to the dark side. Snoke lurked in the background as a purveyor of nightmares.

Jaina saw his savagery in full display

"He was going to kill him. I don't know what would've happened if Valkyn had won."

"You were listening in?" Jaina watched the projected image change, colors rushing together to reform into the throne room. Ben Solo knelt to Snoke, who chastised his apprentice's lack of foresight.

"He's in contact with Snoke's dark side ghost."

Their eyes met.

"I'm concerned."

Jaina endeavored to calm her racing heart.

"I went to see him because something was bothering me about his motives. He was in a dark side meditative trance. That was before he ordered them to fire on the mine colony." She powered off her saber, returning it to her belt. "Snoke still has his claws in him. I had the sense that he wants Ren to bring you to him."

"You're thinking Snoke influenced his actions?" Jaina couldn't deny how likely it all seemed.

"I don't know why he went looking for him now - but I do know that Ren has always hungered after praise. He wanted to cast himself in Darth Vader's image. It might be that he's realized his training is incomplete." She took a deep breath, drawing closer to her. "His master is gone in the flesh, but his presence is strong in the dark side. You need to be careful around him." Saskia searched her face, frowning. "You _can't_ trust anything he does."

She couldn't hold the knight's gaze, her eyes dropping to a distant part of the flooring. "If...," she felt her insides quake. "If it's Snoke corrupting his mind still, I'll fight him off." She spoke more confidently than she felt, her senses responding to the dim glow of warmth suffusing the coldness of the room. It took her a moment longer to realize it was concern for her, pure and simple.

 _Oh, Jaina!_ The knight exhaled loudly in frustration. "You can't fix what's already broken."

"I faced Snoke once, Saskia. He lost." _I'm training. I'm stronger now_. She could look at her clenched fist, open her fingers and sense the Force. That same strength was power, she understood the Sith a little more. _They were right_. That same power broke her chains, gave her a _choice_.

"Jaina, overconfidence-"

"He'll lose again." _And again and again_. "I'll defeat him over and over until he learns to stay the hell away from me and Kylo."

"He knows a great deal of dark side knowledge. Hell, even Master Skywalker was in contact with him once. They were both after Force knowledge. Snoke used to say that Luke wanted to help someone with it, but I never knew what he meant." She looked away from her almost guiltily. "I wasn't going to say anything." Jaina's gaze was sharp; she had the unpleasant sensation of a mind probe without brute force.

"My allegiance should be with Ren. Snoke was once my master too."

"But, you loathed him for holding the one thing you wanted most, just out of reach." The latter stilled, her expression pensive. "Truth be told, I don't care how much knowledge he has. I'm not like anyone he ever fought."

...

The only thing he hated more than a losing streak, were amateurs. Rose and Finn were Resistance heroes, whatever that meant. Nonetheless, he couldn't understand their need to deviate from _the plan which included disappearing after a short conversation on the need to keep a low profile_. V'lane navigated through the milling crowds of well-dressed people, smiling. Occasionally catching the eye of the female of the species. _No Rose. Where did she go?_ V'lane had insisted on lurking near the 'fresher in case she had nipped in, but after ten minutes, he was forced to admit she wasn't inside.

"We've searched everywhere." Finn muttered, stopping short of the bar. Beside him, V'lane stiffened, silently cursing his ill luck. "They're here." His eyes slid over the assorted Abedno, Sullustan and Neimodian gentlemen. In their midst, a petite brunette with her hair touched a frosted silver, passed the occasional comment to the bartender. She had two drinks waiting.

"Finn, go."

"What?"

"Skedaddle. Crimson Dawn is here."

People passed between them. Finn glanced toward the bar, seeing nothing of note. _Amateur_ …he didn't see how one woman commanded the attention of the vicinity. That was power. The simple gold bar necklace adorning her white throat. "She is the leader of Crimson Dawn. She's been in the game longer than we've been alive."

"That woman?"

He felt his hands sweat. "Go."

"Qi'ra!" He chose a mask out of his collection. "Looking marvelous as always." He walked up to the woman, retaining a moderate distance between them. She was slim, yet muscled beneath her red silk blouse and black trousers tied at her waist. No weapons. It was distasteful to bring weapons into the casino.

 _Master of Teräs Kasi…never underestimate your foe…_ he went through a litany of memories, forcing the tension out of his posture.

"You are always supremely flattering, V'lane Radford." She stirred her drink, her eyes demurely lowering to the thin stemmed glass filled with an absinthe green liquid. "But, why so nervous? Could it be the pompous fool from Black Sun, the so-called heir?" V'lane cursed his luck thrice for the arrival of the Falleen half-breed.

"They were once part of our consortium until the unfortunate dissolution of our mutual interests. Never mind, this Prince being an illegitimate claimant to Black Sun's legacy." Her tone sharpened as her eyes narrowed. "I so hoped you had better taste than to associate with lower forms of life. _V'lane_."

" _Qi'ra_ , when have we ever missed a payment? You've always received your share. Need I mention little beanos on the side?"

Her smile dipped. "Promises, V'lane. You and your master have neglected your commitments."

"I have no master." _I have a friend and a lot of hopes that are getting farther away_. "Someday, when I become an Admiral of the Fleet, but alas not now. _Grand Admiral_ sounds nice, doesn't it?" He laughed self-consciously.

She looked at him pityingly. "We all have our masters, V'lane. The First Order rounded up and slaughtered scumrats from the streets of Corellia. Some of our couriers were lost. I want the Imperial Remnant to make good on their promise, full operating rights for Crimson Dawn. And for that, the First Order must be dealt with."

He paled, "Qi'ra…,"

"Credits can't pay for everything we've done for you. I don't want promises, I want results."

...

Rose lifted the trailing hem of the gown as she trod closer to the racetrack. A milling porter had directed her to the staircase leading down to the bottom. As the warm scent of animals washed over her, she thought back to their desperate mission to find the master codebreaker. She had not forgotten the boy who she had given her Rebel Alliance ring in payment for his help. _Temiri Blagg,_ she thought. _Please be here. It was time_ , she thought; time to bring someone with them. They needed children and he was smart and she could watch over him. In truth, she felt lonely sometimes even with Finn, the big idiot, there with her. They didn't see each other as often as she would've liked, not since she had begun working with shield defense to see if her baffler idea worked with existing Imperial tech.

The very notion of working with the Imperials had lost some of its distaste. She found her thoughts returning to Miura, his seeming honesty and indignation over the New Republic had truth she couldn't deny. Rose couldn't ever imagine herself becoming an Imperial, but their cause wasn't so terribly misaligned with the Resistance either.

Rose slipped into the echoing stalls, scattered hay slipped under foot. Within the large pens, the snort of the Fathiers and occasional stamp of hooves brought to mind a happier memory.

She didn't see the children.

Or maybe they could see her and didn't recognize her because of her finery. She grabbed fistfuls of the satin skirt with low heeled flats, wrinkling the cloth in frustration. The lacy black fingerless gloves were a nice touch, albeit useless in combat. _What's wrong with me? I've never worn anything so fine or pretty in my life and all I can think of is my old mechanic duds…at least Finn had seemed to notice her - among others_.

"Are you looking for someone?"

The decidedly male voice came from behind her. Rose whirled around, startled that someone had approached without her noticing. It was a slimly built man in a tailored suit and white high-collared shirt. The pin at his throat had a strange symbol on it that was vaguely familiar. The blade with a tapering edge had a star burst at the apex of the hilt. Her eyes were drawn to it, reluctantly snapping up to his face. Green eyed, with pleasant features she could say were handsome crowned by a head of blonde hair. The only imperfection were the twin scars stretching from either end of his mouth upward causing him to appear as if he wore a permanent smile. _Who was he?_ She could almost sense something about him. She could feel something in his aura. Rose scanned for a weapon of any kind, only noticing the strangely curved black hilt at his waist, glimpsed when he moved.

… _a knife…? No blaster. No revolver…just a knife._

"Yes, I am." Mentally she kicked herself after the words were blurted out. _What the hell was she doing trusting a well-dressed stranger!?_ "I-uh shouldn't be talking to strangers."

Amusement lit in his eyes. "That's something your sister taught you? In that case, let me introduce myself. You may call me Val, short for Valerian."

 _My sister!?_ She struggled with fleeting panic. "I-I'm Rose. How did you know…,"

"It was fairly easy to deduce since your pendant has another half. The other piece of the snowgrape leaf would've belonged to someone special like a sibling." Val pointed out calmly. Rose felt immediately ridiculous. _That was true_ …she reached up more as a comforting gesture to grip the medallion lying in plain sight against the satin of the rounded bodice.

"I _was_ looking for someone, but I don't think he's here." She felt her voice quaver. Temiri's absence could mean a lot of different things. Rose forcibly stopped herself from thinking so negatively. "He was slave kept in the stables."

"You were hoping to liberate him? In that case, allow me to accompany you." He added vaguely self-conscious. "You'll find that liberating children is of supreme importance to me."

...

This was the worst one yet.

She awakened from her hasty sleep, heart pounding, her hand opening up to let the hilt roll across the tangled bedding. In the darkness of the room, she struggled to get her bearings. She hadn't been in the room long enough to think of it as her own. Located off the upper floors of the Victory II class ship, the short hallway contained the 'fresher and closet against one wall, further down, a nook for a caf maker. The room widened for a platform bed and was large enough for a desk and a full size holoplate against the back wall. Getting her breathing under control, Jaina pushed the blankets aside, swinging her legs over the edge. Her movements caused the motion sensor lights to turn on in the grill panel opposite the door. Using the soft illumination to see by, she padded into the 'fresher, turning the faucet a quarter of the way. Jaina splashed cold water on her face twice, blinking at the murky reflection she made in the mirror.

She hardly recognized the youngish woman clad in a loose white shirt over white briefs. Her dark hair lay in heavily, tangled coils around her face.

Dim fragments began to come back to her.

 _Mustafar..._ _The volcanic plain seethed and bubbled rivulets of magma across the planet's tortured surface. In the distance, the single rising spire of black adamantine dominated the skyline._

She was there in Vader's castle.

 _"Standing your ground?"_

 _She turned quickly, shocked to see the Muun appear fully to her gaze. The withered flesh surrounded sockets of deep yellow eyes. The long face creased into a leer surveying her brave stance._

 _"Come to gloat?"_

 _"Yes." Plagueis dissolved into quiet laughter. "You're so ready to fight me when I'm by far not your first nor last enemy." The Muun drew circles in the air with his long fingertips stirring the Force. "Young Solo is resolved to see you dead…If he receives word from what he thinks is Vader." The Muun's voice changed becoming her mother's. "He will kill you, Jaina."_

 _No._

But, she wasn't alone in the castle. Ren or something that had his form, was waiting in Vader's throne room. S _he looked upon the presumptuous scene with distaste, watching him ignite the cross-guard blade. For a moment, her mind ran through the possibilities of the next seconds. Her instinctual reaction was to defend herself - openly acknowledging the path of a Jedi. But, that was just it. She was playing right into the same cycle. "No." She released her grip on the saber hilt. "I will not play the games of a Sith." That's what they want, for us to kill each other. A true Jedi doesn't fight, they only act when balance can be achieved._

The first few moments stood out stark and clear in her mind.

 _Go ahead._

 _Go ahead and give Snoke…give them all what they want._

 _Or better yet._

 _She turned the weapon awkwardly toward herself._

 _"I will never hurt you."_ _She shut her eyes tightly, depressing the switch._

Jaina scrubbed her face, trying to forget the look in his eyes. Saskia and Plagueis' visit had caused the unconnected bits to surface as a warning in her mind. She had tied together his obsession with Vader over her future existence. "Oh, Anakin...why can't you appear to him and try to make him see the truth?" She muttered, dragging her fingertips down her mouth. She was thirsty and at turns feverish, her skin clammy to the touch. When she had calmed down enough to try a cup of caf, the terminal pinged across the room, someone was calling. _Even if you fail, isn't it better than never trying at all?_

...

 _It's no good._

"What did you promise Black Sun?"

They had regrouped on the balcony overlooking the race track. "Support in installing a government favorable to them on the capitol city of Caprica. They're trying to regain control of the Kobol sector." V'lane said dully. "Caprica's a Regency world whose monarchy has brutally suppressed revolts in the past. Black Sun doesn't care about the people, but the First Order also doesn't deal kindly with crime syndicates not allied with their rise."

"And the fuel?"

"Captain Lekauf's Imperial-class _Steel Talon_ needs it according to the debriefing we both received."

Finn let out a long breath, resting his forearms on the railing. "So we've gotta keep Crimson Dawn thinking they're our best friends and help wrest control from Caprican royalty. Sounds somewhat for the people. But, what about the fuel?"

"Black Sun won't refine it for us. They're giving us the raw canisters."

"So…"

"Yeah, we've got someone to make the delivery for us." _The fastest ship in the galaxy…please. I'd like to race my Blackhawk against the Falcon any day,_ he thought. "That's where you and Rose come in to make history in Caprica." _After the contract's been settled of course..._ "Well, if she hasn't been sold into the slave trade yet."

"Wait- so you're not going with us?"

"Are you crazy? I used one day of shore leave! I have one more left to make some moolah!"

"Make - what?"

"That's fancy talk for money, Finn." He winked. "You'll learn. Now, let's split up and see if we can find Rosie."

…

The scent of hay and animals was all around her. Rose watched Tomder's eyes roll back in his bulbous skull. An incoherent stream of words in his native language gushed out. Saliva trickled down his greyish-green skin. He didn't even touch him, she thought, glancing frequently at the smooth, untroubled expression of her companion. Val lifted his hand away from the Cloddogran, responding a few garbled words in the same language, then he switched to Basic for her benefit.

"I'm sorry, Rose. It seems as though someone else expressed interest in the boy. He was sold this afternoon to an offworlder."

Rose paled, disgusted with herself. If they hadn't had to meet up with Radford for the mission, they could've made it in time to take the boy with them. If Finn had agreed…Finn hadn't known she was planning on an extra person stowed away on the getaway ship. Val's sympathy seemed genuine enough and she started to warm to him. "I'm sorry too." She spat most unlady-like on the fallen slaver. "I made you come all this way for nothing."

Val made a funny gesture with his hand.

Yellow sparks like electricity manifested, assaulting Tomder. That was definitely not normal. She winced as he writhed on the ground, growling in pain. "It's no less than he deserves and he deserves _more_." She saw the harsh set of his face and decided not to ask. _Could he have been a child-slave? Or knew someone who had been a slave?_ Briefly, she wondered if it was possible to recruit him into their cause, but wasn't sure how to go about it. The fear of exposure kept her tongue in check. How did General Leia go about recruiting people in the past? Rose remembered her and Paige approaching the Resistance in the early days. They'd been accepted and forgotten as part of the greater will that kept hope alive.

"I'm sorry you had to see that."

They walked along the beach. Rose lifted the hem of her skirts up over her ankles, enjoying the night breeze that cooled her warm cheek. "I…I'm not afraid." She cleared her throat nervously. "I have a friend who knew somebody who could do…things. It's the Force, isn't it?" In the days after their rescue while they situated themselves on the _Gilad Pellaeon_ , Finn had told her his suspicions concerning the other person who had been present during their rescue.

 _"That man…Jagged Fel hardly mentioned him by name. I overheard someone say Jade, or Master Jade. I think he's a Force user like Rey was."_

 _"Why do you say that?"_ Rose had been a little jealous over Finn's constant praising of Rey. Now, she knew it was partly her own loneliness over losing Paige that had caused her to feel that way. Finn was…Finn was a good friend, but over time she had begun to realize her dependence on him was her grief. Rose's mind stubbornly returned to their long forgotten conversation, pushing aside her ruminations over their relationship.

 _"He did something - cut away the rock face like it was nothing, but there was no trace of the stone. It was like he wished it away or made it disappear."_

 _"Finn, you think too much."_ Maybe he did or maybe he didn't. Rey. Luke Skywalker. Kylo Ren. Jade and now Valerian. How strange she should suddenly recall the particulars of the conversation.

"Val?" He was there suddenly, grabbing her shoulders. He pulled her down to the sand swiftly, shielding her with his body. Not a second later, shots whizzed above them. "Who's shooting at us?!" Rose asked wildly, wincing as divots of sand spattered over them. Val said nothing, his expression tight. Pulling her up with strength she wouldn't have thought he had, they were soon running blindly across the beach. Val sent a few careless gestures with his hand that she felt rather than saw, gust past her, causing explosions out in the dunes. A few wet grunts followed. She pushed the image out of her mind of dead bodies spattered with blood.

"We have to get where there's more cover." Val explained, hardly winded.

Rose nodded, hoping he saw. Where were Finn and V'lane? They weren't much help, but there was safety in numbers. As they entered a more populated quarter of the city, she espied a familiar man far ahead, searching the crowd. "Finn!" She shouted unthinkingly, hoping he'd hear her. Val saw him too, gaze darting around.

"They've followed us."

...

"Did I wake you?"

She sat on the holoplate, her feet tucked in. The room behind her was a shadowed dimension. Kylo didn't recognize the edge of the platform bed with the blankets bunched up around the droid. Jaina reached for the cup of caf within reach, taking a sip before answering him.

"I've been up for a short while." The bare tops of her thighs were visible. She wore very little clothing aside from a loose white shirt that hovered somewhere above her midriff. The slight indentation of her belly button was visible above the narrow white edging of her underwear. In some incessant part of his mind he wondered how comfortable she would be if she was physically in his presence. Another stray, deviant thought pictured her lounging across his bed - he stopped _that_ train of thought forcefully.

The unbroken stretch of skin puckered into the ugly scar. He didn't see the bloody hole punched through her stomach. Relief, however brief, passed through him.

The place had been Vader's castle.

The place he had gone in an act of rite of passage becoming Master of the Knights.

In his dream, they had both been there.

 _He could hear the fading echo of Snoke's laughter in his head. He could see the shadowed indistinct form of a masked Sith, glimpse the red eyes from the slit-like visor. He heard a second hum ignite barely understanding the reason why he held his saber so tightly in his grip._

 _The dark red hue pierced below, burning brightly from the broken saber. The legacy blade shot forward aiming true for her vitals._

 _In a split second, he took in the droid, her saber cast aside -_

 _No._

 _That isn't what I wanted._

 _No._

 _The beam stopped flush against her skin, burning. He caught the smell of burning flesh and wrenched with the Force, diverting the blade beam. He felt the blade shudder when it was ripped from her hand and thrown backward against the wall. Flicking the switch on his own hilt, he dropped down to his knees, taking advantage of her distraction to put her under. Kylo lunged forward as she fell backward, catching her in his arms. Vitiate's saber had burned a portion of her skin away. His hand came away slick with fresh blood from her side. The wound wept profusely. Pulling her up, he raked his free hand through her hair, pressing his mouth feverishly against the side of her face. He tasted salt on his tongue._

 _"What have I done?"_

In the confused depths of sleep, Kylo had mistook Vader's wishes for those of his dead master. _I killed her._ With these hands. He had awakened with the horror fresh in his mind. Vader, his grandfather, despite his excesses, wouldn't have made him choose life without the one person who rejected him, fought him and accepted him for what he was. "I needed to …" he broke off. _I needed to hear your voice_. The silence had stretched between them. But, it wasn't wholly uncomfortable. The youthful awkwardness in which he had conducted himself, lingered. "When I woke up…the first person I thought of was you."

"Same." She cradled the sides of the cup between her palms, observing him calmly over the rim. If she had been smug, he would've known how to react. Now, that he held her attention, he wanted to keep it. _Farady's words were getting to him._ "What were you doing?"

"I was sleeping until a while ago and then I decided to try a cup of hot caf to see if it could relax me enough to rest."

Kylo grunted softly. His own spate of bad dreams left him wide awake, anxious. Hot caf sounded good. "Why did you wake up?"

"I had a disturbing dream." Jaina said, shrugging her shoulders. "What about you?"

"Same." He almost smiled.

"You should try caf or hot blue milk. I've heard it helps you to sleep."

His mood soured. Blue milk reminded him of Luke. Certain things would always bring the man to mind no matter how hard he tried to disassociate Luke with his life. "I don't like it. Blue milk," he clarified unnecessarily.

"Neither do I." She muttered, wrinkling her nose. "It's gross." Kylo almost smiled. That was remarkably similar to his younger self's complaints. The holographic image of the cross-legged girl flickered on the edges. This was nice, he realized. Normal. They didn't have to be reminded of who they were.

"Jaina-"

"Ren-"

A slight frown touched his lips. He supposed it was better than my lord or his full title. There could be worse, he knew. Jaina waved her hand dismissively. "Go on."

Kylo didn't quite remember what he was going to say. He could feel it. A slight pulse. The feeling was familiar. He was being summoned. "I have to go." He sensed she was watching him, her brow furrowing. She could sense something too despite the stars between them.

"Wait."

His hand hovered over the disconnection.

"Ask yourself, _please_. Is it worth it?"

Instead of answering, he watched her face fade away.

…

The holograph disseminated to blue particles. Jaina caught one between her fingertips. She sat there for a while longer until BB-9e prompted her with a beep. Hope had surged within her like the tidal wave of a sea disturbing the calm of her emotions. The upheaval left her feeling vaguely nauseated. In its place was disappointment sharp enough to cut, to hurt. Warm liquid dripped down the curve of her folded thigh, staining her skin. She glanced down seeing the fractured fragments of the cup she didn't remember shattering.

"It's just a scratch." She should've felt something, maybe awe or surprise, but felt nothing except _need_. Cups didn't shatter by themselves, at least not without proper application of the Force. Her fingers unfolded from the rounded handle attached to little more than part of the base. From the bed, the droid had seen the unusual phenomena, logic processes running through a compendium of incidents on datadisk that referenced the former pilot, finding them of increasing frequency. Something internally was happening to her, BB-9e decided. Something was changing her.

Jaina set the cup handle down, picking the pieces from her lap. After a few minutes, her head sank down to her chest. Soft whimpers came from her and BB-9e considered rolling off the bed to cross the room and bump her arm. Gradually, the droid's fine audio sensors discerned her murmur - an imperfect recitation of the Jedi code. When she subsided into silence, her head lifted. BB-9e tilted to the side, scanning the edge of her visible profile. She had been crying.

"Let's go."

…

 _This is a hired hit._

The thought went through Valerian's head and then he knew where they were. It wasn't very smart of them to hire Force sensitives for the job, thinking their natural abilities would enhance them in a fight. Maybe against any other common criminal - but not him. He was sure even Saskia, weakling Saskia would sense them coming a mile away and kill them all. Drawing his legacy saber, the curved blade splashed ruby light on the cobblestone street. The sight of the weapon elicited a few gasps that turned to screams once the shooting began.

He covered Rose several times, deflecting each shot with near accuracy. His wild swings were reminiscent of Shii Cho with the tight footwork of Soresu. He had meant to quietly mind-trick her into walking in the surf until he could no longer see her. _But_ , she had begun thinking of the scavenger girl and their connection to the nebulous survivors of the empire. Valerian had discreetly scoured her mind, discarding the emotions he cared nothing about for the real meat of her memories. He could've laughed at her naivety when his thoughts had revolved on disposing of her once he was done with her mind.

Valerian returned a few shots, listening with growing satisfaction as they struck some of the fleeing civilians.

 _Rose Tico didn't know half the story_.

He considered thrusting her forward as a human shield, then quickly discarded the thought. It was possible, just possible that she could serve another purpose. After all, he could always dispose of her later.

...

The shot came from nowhere all at once. Rose had little time to scream as he shielded her. She realized she was babbling words, clutching onto his arm, her hands soaking into blistered, bleeding soaked cloth and flesh. "That was a piercing round," Val said, grimacing. He pushed her away; the sizzling hum of his weapon punted a few more shots, then his hand fisted. Glass shattered, erupting from store windows, hover cars overturned as a whirling blast of energy leveled outward. Rose heard the screams of their pursuers choke off into abrupt silence. Nothing else stirred on the city block. Val lowered his energy weapon after a hard probing glance around, thumbing the ignition switch. The beam dissipated into fragmentary energies.

"Are you…are you alright?" She asked stupidly, not knowing what else to say. Reaching down for the hem of her skirt, she tugged on it, ripping a strip longer than her arm. Rose wound it around her hand, lightly touching his arm to get his attention. Valerian looked her over dismissively. "What're you doing?" His cold, hard tone she put down to pain.

"You're injured. I know we need to get out of here, but you can't go around bleeding like that."

"This is nothing."

"Like hell it isn't." Rose snapped. It felt good to get mad at something. Whether it was the First Order or whoever it was shooting at them, she didn't like it one bit. Besides, he had gotten injured protecting her.

"Aren't you afraid of the things I can do?"

"A little bit." She silently agreed they weren't natural or normal, but what was normal? Normal was boring. It took a lot of courage to stand and fight, let alone save someone they barely knew. "I think you can do good with what you have." Rose slipped the fabric around his arm, pulling it snug and finishing it off with a bow knot. Val watched her fuss with the makeshift bandage, expressionless.

"You're a strange one." He looked past her, halting her further motions with the touch of his hand on her face. "Rose. Give this to the man who wears a mask. You saw him on Crait." His hand dropped to her shuttered fist, pressing something into her palm; her mind barely had time to process it. She found herself unconsciously clasp the slinky metal coils of a chain heavy with two halves of a blood red crystal. Valerian tucked back strands of hair from her brow, the gesture gentle for someone she should've been by all rights, afraid of.

"He'll know what it means." The moment his hand left her face, her body went instantly numb. Paralyzed by an unseen _force_ , Rose saw him walk off from the corner of her sight until only his receding footsteps could be heard.

...

"You've passed the test."

He didn't want to remember the coldness clinging to his aura, a remnant of dark side power from his deliberate sacrifice of the Force sensitive slaves. "The knowledge to heal a light saber wound." Kylo reminded through gritted teeth. He knelt on the mist-shrouded ground, the chill sweeping through him, piercing his heart with ice cold rage. Beneath his collar, his skin had begun to crawl. _This is for her._ He had to think of her. _The way she looked, the sound of her voice_. The hidden part of his conscious mind sought comfort in her image.

"The Jedi Order had a separate division of Healers. In the time before their twilight, they possessed great skill in mending flesh and bone. They had something else to empower their light side healing. Crystals of Fire, they are very rare and powerful Force sensitive stones."

"I've never seen one." He said carefully. "Not even you had one in your possession."

"When the Jedi Temple fell, Loress Jade created a distortion field with his mind, allowing him to enter unchallenged. He took the crystals from the Healing Center using them to heal severe injuries later on. There are some who claim his line merged with that of several prominent dark siders. The heretic Millennial is one of them."

"Jade is long dead. He was killed years ago." Although Kylo tried to remain unconcerned, he sensed the darkness swirl strangely around him at the man's name.

"Make no mistake; he has escaped destruction many times. Valkyn lied to me about Jade's death on Niruan. He planted the saber himself with hopes of locating Jade's whereabouts."

"What was so important about Loress Jade?"

"He was part of the Jedi Order until the rise of the Empire. Despite his…turning to the dark side, I've always felt he was a threat to my autonomy. He is uncontrollable as the woman is to you."

"I can control her. She does what I say."

"Does she?" Snoke sounded curious. "You let her go. You let her do whatever she wants. She keeps the corrupted symbol of the Jedi as her light saber."

Kylo's gaze dropped to the ground; he couldn't continue shielding his mind for much longer. Snoke always had a way of breaching his defenses, raping his emotions, exposing his failure at subduing the light in him. Snoke could access those parts of his mind easily, but not everything in him. _Her trick of hiding things in her mind was useful_. Jaina's light saber had long disturbed him although he had chosen to say little about it. The light saber was an heirloom like the Skywalker blade; Jaina identified with it strongly and with her dark side heritage. That was another thing they shared in common. Eventually, he supposed he could work in a lesson on constructing light sabers with a journey to Ilum for a crystal. Learning how to make the crystal bleed would only further her dedication to the darkness.

"Where can I find one of these stones?"

"Don't even think of challenging him as you are now. Loress would be dangerous even for you, young Solo."

He gritted his teeth. Jade was elderly, older than his uncle. It wasn't possible he could be defeated by someone who…yet to have eluded Snoke proved he was wily and capable. "Where else?" Kylo spat the words from his lips.

"On Dromund Kaas. In the prophet's ruined temple."

 _The legendary Sith world…seat of Vitiate's power._ "I'll find it." Kylo drifted out his meditative state missing Snoke's thin sneer of triumph.

...

Jaina watched Obi-Wan Kenobi demonstrate his defense velocity. The blade was a rushing color deflecting from the third orbit outward. He had explained the concept to her first, now he performed it single-handed, his other arm folded horizontal across his chest. The hour was late. She felt the tiredness creeping on her. BB-9e dozed across the room, plugged into the electrical panel. She couldn't shake off her unease.

"Something wrong?"

He noticed she failed to say something after he had finished.

"No."

"You've been scowling something fierce this time around. Reminds me of a Hutt's elbow -" he gestured to her face. "You know if you keep frowning, your face will stay like that?"

"You're not funny."

"It's not meant to be unless you think it is. I would like to put you at ease, Jaina. You learn better when your mind isn't tense."

She knew deep down he was right. The Force was telling her to open up. "Earlier," she began without knowing what she wanted to say. "I…I was talking to Kylo - Ben." She almost rolled her eyes, reverting to the Jedi's favored form of address. "I could feel it. The darkness called to him."

"You knew he was never going to choose you over the dark side." Obi-Wan said offhanded.

Jaina gave him a long measured look, her brows drawn together. "You don't have to rub it in "

"I don't." The Jedi Master agreed. "But, I'm not sorry either."

Her hand slipped down to the hilt clipped at her belt. She was mentally exhausted, unable to rest. Throwing herself into constant training and study - she felt like she was losing sight of what it meant to be aligned with the light side. She didn't want to brood on her failures at night or dream of being murdered by the man she loved.

"You're dwelling on dreams. You'll forget how to live."

She drew the saber until the hilt was level to her chest, thumbing the switch. "The thing is, I'm wide awake. The Force isn't warning me from him only you are." The blade sprang forward, the crystal sang a challenge through the Force. "That nightmare and others were sent by someone to wrest me away from Kylo by making me fear him." Her lips thinned as she regarded the ghost. "I know that now."

"How?"

"We had the same dream." _I don't know how I knew or what_. "When I looked into his eyes...we were an astronomical distance apart, but somehow I knew." The saber descended at her side. "I know we dreamed of Mustafar and a Sith whose presence is somehow still anchored to this world."

"You want to save him. Is that it?" The analytical quality of the ghost's blue eyes made her feel a surging mix of shame and anger. Jaina wrestled with her conflicting feelings, suppressing them after a moment's exhalation. "I don't know much about the dark side or the light side or saving people! I feel the balance and know that there is only the Force. I think you are wrong sometimes and especially about this." _For a moment, I stopped him with a word_. _Kylo stopped for me when he wouldn't stop for anyone else_. She couldn't tell if she saw approval or disappointment in the ghost's look. It was both she realized as he prepared to face her.

"Kenobi." Although never spoken in life by the masked Jedi Knight, Obi-Wan reflexively stood back. The man that came forward was tall and not of broad build. He wore armored robes and a white cloak over a domed helmet. Revan, the hero, traitor, conqueror, Sith, savior. Jedi was part of him, his final moments spent on Yavin 4 before he became part of the Force. She was more than a little scared suddenly to face the legendary Jedi. Meetra Surik and dark-haired Bastila Shan, the two women who had been closest to him in life, glanced at one another.

 _It's like sparring the Hero of Tython, the greatest in his age_.

"Don't be scared."

"I shouldn't be." She mumbled, coloring to the roots of her hair.

"Why?" When he asked, it was as if her fear was the most unnatural thing in the galaxy.

"Because you're…," Jaina couldn't put it into words. The masked face with the T-shaped stripe of bronze almost the color of his greaves, reminded her of Kylo Ren's masked face. She sensed him waiting for her answer. "You're _Revan_." She finished lamely, unable to select just one title to define the name.

"That wasn't my name." he said after a moment. "But, it'll do. I want you to think of your fear, Jaina."

She could sense the quaver in the Force. The light side shifted considerably as several more light side ghosts appeared, curious. "I am."

"What is the cause?"

She could've named any single one of his crusader quests against the Mandalorians, against the Sith Empire. "You tried to resurrect the Sith Emperor on Yavin 4 and became part of the Force…more darkness than light. I don't stand a chance against you!" She whispered, frantic. "They said that looking at you when alive was like looking into the heart of the Force itself!"

"Do you always believe everything you're told?" Revan asked harshly causing her to flinch.

"No." Jaina admitted guiltily, feeling her hand shake.

The former Sith paced across from her, his violet light saber cast a distinct shadow behind him. "If I am Revan to you, then I am not _Revan the legend_." She saw him cease motion, his stance wide and open, the blade held in a low guard position she almost didn't recognize.

Her mind went through a litany of opening stances finding none matched. In the midst of her panic, she wondered if it mattered. Maybe it didn't. Maybe nothing did. The Force, luminous, eternal, held no warning only a sense that she should trust - and believe.

Little by little, she released the fear that had become a tight knot inside. Once, BB-9e had reminded her of the light, now she needed to believe in it more than ever. As she readied her Form III stance, Jaina opened her mind to the Force, falling into moving meditation. Revan moved a split second later, breaking his motionlessness. The white cloak had lifted with the speed of his movement, the violet blade swung up - she tensed, readying the deflective slash. She had scarcely blinked when he vanished from sight. Thrown off, Jaina glanced around quickly, stunned - only to sense the disruption in the Force surrounding her. She broke stance, spinning around, the blades clashed, red and violet sparking viciously. Revan brought the saber up, skimming her arm. The heat seared her flesh. Jaina swallowed her gasp, leaping back. On the edges of her vision, she glimpsed the blue tint of the ghosts crowding closer, they formed a wide ring, curious faces, a few murmuring to each other. She saw Yoda and the Jedi Masters she was familiar with, observing. She almost thought they weren't pleased.

 _Why?_

 _They won't interfere because it's_ _Revan._

Jaina forcibly stopped thinking.

 _No mindedness_.

She felt the arc of Revan's blow twisting through the air currents. She felt the spark of energy seconds before the ghost reappeared. She had heard stories about Revan's pre-cognitive abilities, but couldn't imagine their scope. He had effortlessly countered each and every one of her moves, proving he was beyond the skills of the Jedi during their twilight. Now on the defensive, Jaina deflected his heavy blows, rapidly losing ground.

"You still have so much to learn."

The simmering resentment she had carried within her, was momentarily forgotten. Jaina was conscious of the saber in her single-handed grip, the spin of the blade and flashing contact. The violet beam came at her relentlessly - but there was nothing behind it. No sense of regrets, no lingering memory of other battles. Revan fought to win. He gave his all even after death. Jaina augmented her sudden thrust with a Force shove, breaking her circle of shelter. The two blades crossed - both struggling to overcome the other. She sensed fleeting approval from the masked face - then, he performed a simple motion almost unseen and sent her skating across the floor.

Revan strode over to where she lay in a flat sprawl. Jaina went through a gamut of emotions ranging from surprise to pain. Her shoulder and hip felt bruised from the initial contact with the floor. She tilted her head up, regarding the ghost. Revan extended his gloved hand, the gesture shocking her further.

No one had ever offered to help her up.

Jaina hesitantly uncurled her left hand from her side, placing it in his palm. Revan's grip was neither light nor hard. He pulled her up effortlessly, his touch _real_ \- unimaginably so. Revan held onto her hand for a second longer. "Do you understand now?" The modulator distorted the former Sith's voice. "The lesson?"

"I…think I do."

...

"What is darkness?"

V'lane watched white-coated police swarm the streets outside the palatial hotel. The case he had been entrusted with contained a small fortune. There were advantages to being stationed above a galactic jewel amid a desolate outer region. He still remembered the day he had met the Falleen heir in the casino on Terramaire. _A half-breed from one of the crime lord's many affairs, he had begun rebuilding the syndicate and reclaimed some of Black Sun's former territories. Operating out of Nar Shaddaa, Xun had taken on his father's name and place in the organization after the assassination of Boss Gyuti and his underling, Rynscar_.

"I believe we have ourselves a bright future ahead." A small stack of one hundred credit notes were double-counted, put on the books. A pair of Falleen foot guards carried special issue double-barreled blasters, stationed at the doors, they were less than an overt warning he had to see this thing through.

"I do too." V'lane wet his lips nervously. He didn't like being separated from the other two. Who knew what else mischief they were getting into. "How did you know….?"

"About you?"

"The Knight of Ren. Very few recognize them especially in plainclothes."

"Ah, him. He's been on our radar since his selling of Force sensitives into the slave trade. The ones he sold were broken in mind, good for the mines, hard labor."

"I see." That was troubling, very bothersome indeed. He supposed there were ways to break someone through the dark side, but- "Is the First Order involved?"

"I think it's a little tit for tat. Something extra on the side." Xivor grinned showing too much teeth. V'lane disliked the oiliness of his smile. Either he was immune to the pheromones exuded by the Falleens or maybe _Xun_ had too much Ikotchi in him. "Like you."

...

Jaina pressed her hand to the biometric scanner. Her ID flashed once, the lock depressed with green for admittance. The old man sat with his back to her, hunched over a voluminous folio of flimsiplast sheets. There were codes and rules to follow about personnel, he had reminded her. Jaina noticed the old type wall-chrono near him reflected the time of Coruscant. Drawing up behind him, she turned slightly and gestured for silence. BB-9e rolled after her very slowly, minimizing the noise from its servos.

Lightly, she leaned her upper body forward against the back of the chair. "Father." The man started a little, half-turning. "Oh, my goodness! I didn't hear you come in." He relaxed visibly, "you know, your mother used to do the same thing."

"Force stealth? I know." Jaina muttered, refusing to let it bother her. "I remember sort of…" she had a fuzzy image in her head of seeing her mother leaning against a man's back, her arms wrapped around his shoulders. The memory was confused however and brought with it slight pain. Consciously, she shook it off. "I have to go away for awhile, but I'll be back soon."

"Uh-oh, it's not Lord Ren sending you on a mission, is it?"

"No, no! I'm going with BB-9e." The droid trilled excitedly, rolling in a semicircle around them. "This is something I have to do." She tried to resurrect the feeling of confidence she'd felt understanding the purpose of Revan's lesson. She released Duma and stepped away.

"Oh, Jaina, when you come back…and barring," he turned around in the chair, coughing indelicately. "-General Hux's approval, I would like us to visit the galaxy. Not everything, mind you, but some worlds here and there." He tried to soften his normal gruff tones when he spoke, frowning as he did so. "Star Tours offers packaged deals to Coruscant, Bespin's Cloud City and out of the way places like Empress Teta. We can catch a starspeeder to Naboo's capitol city from the space port in Batuu." He peered at her hopefully to see if she was excited.

"Naboo?"

"It's a beautiful planet located in the Mid-Rim. Very green and full of wonderful old architecture-" He broke off into a coughing fit again, waving her away with an impatient gesture. "I'm fine! I'll be fine! Damned space dust. I ordered Noventa to have the mouse droids serviced after that last meteor shower." Jaina raised a brow, returning to his side. She patted him absently on the back, knowing he didn't like to appear weak and frail. "Everything sounds wonderful, but…"

"You're not a Knight of Ren yet." He said quickly. "The Supreme Leader can't lay claim on you now."

"That's true," she admitted. _Since when had she ever worried about permission?_ It was likely only a week or so she would be trekking the galaxy. "What could he do to me anyway?"

"Oh, plenty." Duma muttered darkly.

She doubted it. There wasn't much beyond physical torture and even that was extreme. "I know you're worried, but I can take care of both of us." BB-9e bumped her legs. "And you too. I am not weak. I am not some nobody. My mother was apprenticed to Darth Vader's Master. For a short time, he considered replacing Vader with her."

"That isn't something most people would be proud of."

"You know what I mean." She said frustrated, her lips unable to resist curling into a fond smile.

"I think I do." Duma said. "And I'm concerned about it. Jaina, Kylo Ren wants you to turn to the dark side. I don't want to lose you to his ambition."

She sensed his honesty, touched by it. "You won't."

"You don't know that. The dark side corrupts. It drives Force sensitives insane with a lust for power." He said insistently.

"I know it does, but I have the dark side in me." She didn't want to believe in Yoda's old theory that the dark side tainted someone's path once they let it in. "Light can come from darkness. I know it can. Inside us all, the Force flows. Inside me, the balance exists."

"You know I can't feel the Force. I'm completely dead to it. I think in a nicer moment, your grandfather called me a squib. In certain galactic cultures that refers to people who are of a non-magical bent."

She smiled a little pained. "Jade was quite the character from what I've heard. But, that isn't it. I'm referring to you and all living creatures in the galaxy. All I have to do is meditate and I can feel my connection to them. I know my place is among them, not above as a ruler so you have nothing to worry about on that account."

...

 _"I liked flying."_

 _The answer came from deep inside. The unearthing of the memory as faint as the oil and grease from his father's hands. I wanted to be a pilot like my father. He could've said that as well. Han Solo was another ghost he hadn't rid himself of. Sometimes he thought he saw him, youthful, old, a blur at the edge of his vision, wearing the same look of sorrow as if only then realizing he had lost his son._

 _The woman stilled. He thought he had surprised her. The woman who saw and knew everything, didn't know all. Kylo was pleased. He could still surprise her._

 _"Oh, I didn't think you were going to answer." She wore a sleeveless under shirt over repurposed heat reflective trousers. The belt crisscrossed at her waist held a carbine clip for the saber. The straps of the belt reminded him of a TIE's belting with a piece of smooth curved metal as the buckle. Her arms were bare, white shoulders visible. The double scars caught his eye. She swung the saber sideways, her wrist angling, performing a spin._

 _Her hair was pulled back into childish pigtails that bobbed a little when she turned around. She looked softer somehow, years younger, like a child who played with a dangerous weapon. "That wasn't so hard, was it?"_

 _"Your meaning eludes me."_

 _"Sharing." She thumbed the switch on the saber. "You never fly now or on your own, I should say so I wouldn't have thought…,"_

 _"It belonged to someone else," he said shortly, understanding her sudden reticence._

 _"Ben Solo." The way she pronounced his old name made him feel strange. He almost liked the way it sounded._

 _"What was he like?"_

 _Kylo considered showing her everything he wasn't anymore, but didn't quite feel like moving or halting her useless warm up. She restarted from the same point facing an imaginary opponent across the room. "He was weak, emotional." It was easier to think of that person as being separate from him. Better to pretend Ben Solo wasn't still somewhere inside him. "He couldn't do anything to protect the people he cared about."_

 _"He must've had things he liked, places he liked to go."_

 _He watched her stab the air. No Makashi salute, her saber moves were sharp, lethal. The dull blade she was, had teeth now and an edge of steel down its core._

 _"I…don't remember."_

 _The woman didn't miss a step._

 _"What're you doing?"_

 _"I was trying to recreate a dream I had."_

 _When he didn't immediately change the subject, Jaina went on hesitantly. "I…I've been having nightmares. Lately, in a sequence every night. They're terrible things, they wake me up and I can't go back to sleep afterward."_

 _"What does that have to do with -"_

 _"I dreamed I was in a field of long grass. I wore long grey and black robes. I fought a young man. He fought fiercely, full of righteous anger. I used Force lightning on him and was so close to winning. He barely survived, shouting at me why, why did I try betray him."_

 _"Did you know who it was?"_

 _Jaina averted her gaze, her hands flexing. "I don't think so."_

 _"Have you had any more? Anything you remember?"_

 _"One of them was reoccurring," she eventually said. "I dreamed I was sleeping and woken up by some sound and that someone was trying to kill me. It was so awful, dreaming it over and over again. I didn't feel safe going to bed at night."_

 _He twitched faintly, his lips thinning. That was much too close to the old familiar nightmare from his youth. "Who was it in the dream? Did you see their face?"_

 _She pressed her hand to her brow, a soft yawn stifling her exhalation. "It was you."_

 _Surprised, he sensed her tiredness. It was true. She wasn't sleeping and neither was he._

 _"I know it's just a dream. Sometimes it's you and sometimes it's Skywalker." She clipped the saber to her belt, a little more unsteady on her feet. "Then, there was another where Leia was my mother. She was younger and she worried about me. I could see it, but I couldn't hear her thoughts. She was afraid for me, but I knew it was already too late." Jaina's voice grew smaller. "At the end of the dream, I killed her and my father."_

 _"Who was your father?"_

 _"I-I don't know!" She burst out fitfully, turning away. The droid tried to get between them. Kylo gestured, using the Force to send the droid spinning out of his way. He grabbed her by the arm, yanking her around to face him. "You do know, tell me." She whimpered under his steel grasp, trying to twist away._

 _"No- it's all wrong! It was-it was Han Solo."_

 _The moment he heard the name, he released her. Kylo had expected it somehow, understood and even could picture the fractured fragments in her mind. But, Han Solo and Leia - his parents?_

 _"You saw my nightmares. You're doing this. You're inside my head."_

 _"No, I swear to you! I don't know what's going on!" He saw the panic and fear in her eyes, almost relenting._

 _She was manipulating him._

 _Snoke was right._

 _She had caught him in her snare._

 _"Kylo, please-please -" she stumbled back as he ignited his saber. The hellish glow refracted two pinpricks of crimson in her blue eyes. He drew it back, both hands wrapped tight around the hilt, swinging for her. The blade knifed between them, splicing in a brutal downward stroke. The sizzling hum met air as she toppled to the floor -_

\- he started awake in the darkness of his room, gasping. Drenched in sweat, he felt his left-hand twitch on empty air, probing for the light saber left on the table. His fingertips closed, fisting as he dropped his hand to the top of his thigh. The sheet was twisted around his waist, confining him to the narrow, hard bed.

"It was a nightmare." Shakingly, Kylo rubbed his face. "Just a nightmare."

...

The holocall terminal pinged. Irritation rippled across the smooth velvet of his dark side power. He retracted the claws of a nightmare letting the boy off easier.

"What do _you_ want?"

"I can't receive payment until you've inspected and confirmed the authenticity of the goods." A crotchety female voice said. The holoplate projected Maz Kanata's impish figure in all her disapproving glory.

"What'd you do? Raid the hidden cache of Aphra's archaeological fakes?"

"Please, I never rely on third-party transactions. Besides, Dr. Aphra isn't in business anymore."

He grew quiet, thinking of the woman whose roguishness has led her into several scrapes with the Empire. Darth Vader had attempted to kill her on more than one occasion, not to mention sending that incompetent woman, Tolvan, after her. Why Vader hadn't simply stopped her heart - less messy, than throwing her out the airlock was beyond his understanding. Chelli was just one more woman who had hated him.

"I get your point. She tried to sell me a light saber from the Sith Empire era that she claimed belonged to Valkorion or Vitiate as many still know him as. Why, she'd think I would want that cursed thing, I have no clue."

Maz hummed thoughtful. "Snoke had one in his possession. I saw the catalogue number in the database."

Privately, he thought it was likely the same one. "So what'd you requisition for me this time?"

"Oh, a pair of cracked holocrons retrieved from the Temple of the Kyber. The eye of Horak-Mul. A portion of Darth Bane's orbalisk armor and you'll like this." She grinned wickedly. "A gauntlet from Darth Atrius."

"Atrius…familiar. I believe my Lord Vader had one of his light sabers, a cross-guard design, very old. The saber belonged to a pair that your friend, Luke Skywalker, destroyed the other half. They were also horrendously cursed by Atrius's vicious spirit. I'm surprised you'd take the risk."

"I deliver what was promised."

"Or are you starting to like me in your advanced age?"

Maz glared at the slightly distorted image of the masked man. "I wish you'd burn in the seven hells, Jade. You and your kind…that's all you deserve."

He chuckled, smirking behind the silver mouthpiece. "I was once beautiful, Kanata. There was almost no woman alive who I couldn't have - at least until that Whiphid bounty hunter you sent after Mara took half my face off."

"It's too bad he didn't take off more." She grunted, swiping through the datapad. "So what about the goods? I want my credits."

"I'm going to have to take a closer look at Atrius's gauntlet."

"Why? Don't trust me?" Her voice rose on a raspy accusing note.

"No, on the contrary, Kanata. I trust you as far as I could Force-throw you, which is a pretty good distance." He didn't miss the eye roll behind her eye piece. "Rather, my uncertainty lies with Darth Atrius. I don't know if I can harness its energies ."

"There's no one who could break your mind, Jade. I know some who've tried."

"I know you do, because you sent them." Jade flipped her off cheerfully.

...

"I offered to make her my apprentice." He thought he had done so humbly. Unable to lie awake any longer in his quarters, Kylo had passed the sleepless night resisting the urge to reach out. Forgoing a review of orders from the ship's upper tier of officers, he had visited his mother instead.

"That's the kind of gesture -" Leia stopped and shook her head. "Why would she want to be your apprentice? Ask yourself that."

"I don't think you understand what it means." He replied testily. "I am offering her everything in the galaxy-"

"-to stay with you." She saw his sudden childish pout. _Oh Maker, her son had a lot to learn if he thought grandiose gestures were going to win a woman._ "Jaina cares for you. I wouldn't disbelieve it for a second. Whatever she's going through is causing her to distance herself. Show her how you feel."

"I have."

"No. No. You've shown her what power can give her. Show her what you - " _as Ben, as Kylo_ , "yourself are offering."

He considered her words with pursed lips. What else did he have to offer other than a place at his side? Power was intertwined so closely with his sense of self that he could think little of his worth as a person.

Leia saw his inner struggle. "When you look at her, how does it make you feel?"

Kylo turned the words over in his head. How did she make him feel? Angry, conflicted, comforted, loved. The last thing made him hesitate. Jaina made him feel like somebody without the dark side. He was less of a man without her.

"I'm concerned for her."

 _That girl…rejects companionship._

"I've tried to reach her, but she won't let me in." The one other outlet she could reach out to remained the person closest to the woman. "Some people when they've been alone most of their lives _need_ companionship. They're constantly searching for someone to fill the void in them, but she isn't like that."

 _She has a fantasy._

 _She wanted to find that man, whoever he was, and kill him._

 _"I'll show it to you. This is the power you were so afraid of."_

 _In her deepest, darkest heart she wanted to kill them all. His new family, his imagined family that he left them for. His wife, his children. No matter how terrible or ugly, that belated revenge remains the one thing she cannot let go of._

"Do you know _who_ her father is?" Leia asked quietly, partially afraid of the answer. She remembered him mentioning a man who was a First Order commander. But, Jaina had known who he was and seemed to harbor no ill-will toward him. In fact it was quite the opposite.

"No. She doesn't remember what he looked or sounded like. Every time she stood in the shooting range, squeezing the trigger, she imagined a different face. She fired off each round without thought, aiming for the heart, for the head. There's a seal on her memories. One of my Knights felt it although he didn't understand what it was." _Through him...I sensed it_. "I couldn't see her father, although I have my suspicions."

"I don't understand…some people who are abandoned look for their parents in other people. They look to fill that lack inside them, but she doesn't."

"She fills that void with rage. The dark side feeds off it."

"What're you going to do about it? She needs…something. I told you before, she needs someone to take care of her."

 _That anger could be turned into a potent tool._ "She doesn't want someone to take the place of her parents. You asked her about her father." The slight accusatory note came out. He wasn't sure if that was connected somehow to Jaina's distance when they had last seen each other face to face.

"I wanted to know more about her," Leia tried to keep the smile from her voice; let him think what he liked. "Don't I have a right to know about the only other woman in your life?"

At that he snorted. His mother didn't know for sure. She was making guesses. "I could have a woman on every ship."

"But, you don't. You're here because you need reassurance - wait-" she sent him a glare as he started to rise. "I'm not finished." You want me to tell you everything will be fine. Well, I don't know if it will or not." She resisted the urge to say his old name, looking into his eyes. "My advice to you is to take care of her, if you can't do that much for her, let her go."

 _I am taking care of her._

 _I did what she asked._

 _I let her go._

He stood in the hallway outside the apartment suite, thinking of everything he had said and done to get to this point. Sometime before he had summoned the knights to the _Ravager_ , he had already made up his mind concerning her. Part of him knew it was inevitable, whether to carry on Vader's legacy as a man or to choose a suitable apprentice and steep them in the dark side. The incident with the knights had only furthered his conviction that from that outlet, he was well and truly alone. Dismissing the last dregs of bitterness from his mind, he found his feet taking him back to his quarters almost on impulse, all previous thoughts concerning training until he was too exhausted to remember his nightmares, fled. It was at that moment, he realized why the bitterness held very little pain. He stopped feeling alone because of her.

...

"I wasn't sure if you were going to answer." Jaina was the one to call. Hovering above the brown sun-scorched mud ball in the backwater part of the galaxy, she waited while the _Absolution_ checked out their ID code. Then, a heartbeat later when Ren looked at her. "I was thinking about what you told me." Yes, she had been running it through her mind. "I think the only one who was powerful enough to erase my memories was my maternal grandfather." She hated thinking of him like that; robbing her child self of a real identity. All the hastily collected evidence she had put together pointed to collusion between the people she was forced to admit she hadn't known at all.

"I'm like him." She had once felt pride in the comparison even knowing his sins as an Inquisitor. Now, she didn't know what to think of them or the Jedi.

"The closest ability I can compare it to is psychometry or retro-cognition." Ren went on to explain his research into the Imperial archives inherited by the First Order. "Jedi turned bounty hunter, Quinlan Vos, was from Kiffu, whose people originated with the ability. Rojo Trace, a Jedi Knight before the Sith Empire war, was said to have the gift."

She almost thought there was more but Kylo wouldn't speak it. "Do you think it's possible Jade was from Kiffu?"

"No, he was Alderaanian. I found his entry into the Jedi Order."

She had an image of Alderaan before its destruction, shivering as the mental picture disseminated into grief. "Thinking of Alderaan always makes me sad. I can't imagine watching your entire homeworld destroyed in a single act of wanton destruction. I know the First Order came from the Empire, but Alderaan isn't a legacy to be proud of."

"My mother never talked about Alderaan." He said haltingly unsure if she was interested in hearing about his childhood. "I…disagree with Tarkin's assessment that Alderaan was a lesson the galaxy needed to learn."

"They christened this Star Destroyer after him." She mused, fingering the keys. "I think I do remember something," she hummed the fragment of a song. Kylo caught his breath. He knew it somehow, but frustratingly the memory was dim in his mind. "That's Mirrorbright, an Alderaanian lullaby."

"Well, that makes sense I guess. He must've taught it to my mother." Jaina tried to keep the bitterness from her voice.

"He had a reason," Kylo began, less certain. He didn't like the look on her face. That dispirited expression didn't suit her. Rather clumsily, he tried to think up something to say to make her feel better. "From everything I've heard, Jade always had a reason for everything he did. Maybe it was to keep you safe."

"You mean from Snoke and you?" She asked without a trace of bitterness. "I'm pretty sure people fell into two categories for your former master. Either he used you or he eliminated you as a threat."

Well, that was close enough to the truth. Kylo fought to control the spark of irritation that ignited with her bland tone. She made him feel even more of a fool for following someone so blindly. "The point is, you survived. Snoke isn't a threat to you anymore and neither am I."

"Are you sure about that?" She frowned at him and he had the sense that she knew something. Of course…the knight was predictable enough to have told her. "I don't know if I can trust you or anyone right now." Jaina said after a moment, sighing in exasperation. "I just feel like there's so much going on around me." They have an image of who I should be, when maybe I'm not really that person. "I don't want to resume training or be anyone's apprentice."

 _I want to learn more about the Force._

"I want to think it through." She readied herself for his anger. "I want to have a choice about my life." She saw a number of emotions pass through his expression. Mostly disappointment, but the anger if present, was carefully withheld. "You asked me once what I wanted most. That's what I want is a choice."

"You would choose an ordinary life?"

"An ordinary world." She colored defiantly. "Sometimes the most wonderful thing, Ren, is letting go of the power you think is yours. The Force doesn't belong to you or me. We serve the Force through our actions toward others." As she finished, she could see him turn the words over in his mind trying to figure out her trick. It was no trick, no lie. Kylo-Ben was someone to her without Vader's legacy.

"That power belongs to us." He said slowly. "And there is nothing else for you. You have no life outside the First Order. No place to go, no one waiting for you out there." He consciously exhaled his doubts, refusing to let them hold him back. "-you have me. I want you to choose here and never leave."

...

After the holocall had disconnected them, he sat there for a while longer, staring at nothing at all. Across space, separated by the stars, Jaina rose and entered the cockpit, the viewport was dominated by the wedge-shaped ship hovering over the planet. BB-9e waited for her to engage landing procedures as they had been cleared for entry into the planetary atmosphere.

The droid ventured a beep the longer she remained motionless, her hands resting in her lap.

"I know." That was all she said.

Jaina shook off some of her lethargy when the desert plain came into view. They descended slowly through the atmosphere, gliding over clustered white buildings representing to her eyes, a settlement. She had never been to the planet variously denigrated as the galaxy's armpit. It was a backward, ugly place where moisture farmers provided water at a premium. On other worlds less hospitable, she had heard of oxygen farms.

She saw cadets in training armor practicing for patrol in the distance. Their armor was dusty, their troop leader, a minor colonel, had them rounding up scum from the streets.

BB-9e rolled ahead of her out of the space port, head swiveling around in dizzying circles trying to take it all in. "Slow down, BB-9e! You'll get lost!" She saw a troop transport in the distance, sensed the underlying tension in the streets. Unsavory types drifted in and out of a cantina's smoky interior. Jaina slowed, her eye caught by a passing hover car. The street signs were in Aurebesh with the occasional Galactic Basic thrown in at cross-walks. The architecture consisted of domed rooflines in dusty white-washed hues. She didn't know enough about galactic architecture to make a comparison, supposing BB-9e was excited enough for the both of them. She had so rarely made planet fall when not being on a training exercise or on mission, that the dusty streets seemed inviting.

Jaina felt more than saw glances dart from her face to the light saber openly clipped to her belt. Did they know where she came from? She doubted anyone in the galaxy would openly carry a light saber beyond the knights. _That's what I am right now_ , she thought, shedding skin like a desert snake. _An initiate into the dark side_. She kept walking, briefly closing her eyes. The knight had a rough sense on where the artifact was located. She had seen flashes of the map lost in the coherent stream of thoughts and feelings.

He was after something that someone had stolen …from Sidious' collection. The artifact pulsed with veiled dark side power. Her senses caught onto the flare of energy. It was somewhere beyond her, she followed the trail to a junkyard behind a sagging building façade. Sand had gathered in copious quantities beneath the broken down hover cars and light space craft. Pieces of broken wing material lay on their sides, haphazardly disappearing into the ground. The place looked deserted. Her thoughts turned somber. Someone had once piloted the U-Wing star fighter. Through the interior, she peered into a dusty pane and saw rows of defunct astromechs, metals parts lay strewn on a table beside a tray of metal findings.

She touched the panel and instantly saw a smallish Sullustan pulled away by Stormtroopers. They clapped the pleading alien in binders, escorting him away with a dozen or other mixed alien races.

Jaina lifted her hand away, glancing around. She had the sense of being watched, but saw no one and heard nothing. A low rising wind whistled off the carved cliffs to the east. In one way or another, she remembered Tatooine had been Anakin Skywalker's birthplace, and Luke's home before his second life. _What a terrible place in the galaxy_ , she thought, and lonely.

"BB-9e?" She called hoping to hear the droid's responding chirp. She decided it was better to keep her light saber close at hand, wending her way further into the junkyard's maze.

...

BB-9e heard the former pilot calling and couldn't beep in reply. Rather wouldn't. It was strategically impossible to escape the blaster muzzle aimed point blank at its photoreceptor eye by the black plated astromech whose metal joints creaked and groaned from a lack of proper oiling. The pair were old – the black metal bipedal Threepio unit. Now BB-9e had heard of specialized hunter-killer droids utilized in planetary defense arsenals, and even the whisper of a Blastromech prototype produced by the Tarkin Initiative. It was a rumor circulated in the droid pool that someday First Order BB units would be put to use as droideka-type killing machines in the capitol. BB-9e wished it had been equipped with more than a match-light flame to better protect itself and Jaina.

"Well, well, well! I certainly didn't expect to survive the crash – did you, Bee Tee?" The protocol droid exclaimed in mechanical Basic. "Not that our survival rate compares to the unfortunates like Black Krrsantan and Mistress Aphra." The protocol droid's red photoreceptor eyes flickered to the bones clothed in ragged garments. The sight of the bone protruding from the canted deck filled with sand caused BB-9e to shake.

Bee Tee responded something in a binary language BB-9e didn't recognize.

"Yes, never mind who awakened us." The protocol droid had begun rummaging through a hidden compartment beneath the split holochess table. "Curiously, they never found this." The droid held up in his skeletal metal fingers, an octahedron-shaped crystal that burned red fire. BB-9e's eye focused in on the crystal, taking several images of it. Whatever it was - BB-9e was certain the ex pilot would find it interesting.

"BB-9e?" Quickly, the BB unit's head swiveled, beeping out a warning.

Jaina had paused in the shattered hole exposing the gutted ship's interior. The heavy frontal point of the ship had been buried long ago into the sand, tilting crazily at an angle. Jaina's gaze swept the interior, glimpsing BB-9e and the two droids. She dove out of sight, seconds before Bee Tee's blaster fired in her direction. BB-9e used the distraction to ram the other droid sending Bee Tee's aim awry. Instantly, white hot electricity shot through BB-9e's circuits. Bee Tee lifted the stun prod only momentarily.

"Well! This should be fun, Bee Tee!" The protocol droid chirped. "A human female no less! They always scream so delightfully, I doubt this one will be an exception!"

...

She stumbled.

The bolt ripped through her abdomen. A sickening nausea of pain and dizziness shifted the world out of focus. _The droids_ \- she knew now, had belonged to Dr. Aphra. Hazy imprints of the woman's life had been left on the derelict Ark Angel III. S _ana Starros, a former associate of the archaeologist, had provided the knight with the information through an intermediary. The name Bazine Netal had flittered ghost-like through the knight's memory._

 _Why was he after the artifact?_

She sensed it within the chassis of Triple Zero, thwarting most of her attempts to use the Force. The bipedal nightmare resembled Threepio - a chattering golden protocol droid with a red arm. The image popped into her head. _Who was Threepio?_ She knew who Threepio was vaguely. The two wove in and out of her own memories, unclear. Blurred when she tried to grab a hold of them. Jaina fought down her frustration knowing it would make her do something rash or potentially stupid. _Or would it…_

Jaina could sense the coming storm on the peripherals of her vision. "I'm not going to leave you." BB-9e's beeping stopped.

"Really? How do you propose to stop us? You are outnumbered by Bee Tee's unrivaled arsenal." The protocol droid stated in a flat monotone. Jaina closed her eyes briefly, wrestling with her need for answers. Power as she understood it, came from the Force. She didn't need to destroy in order to feel strong, she just needed to keep BB-9e safe.

The saber lowered at her side, her hand relaxing enough for the hilt to drop inches enough so that the astromech prepared to fire. The thing was with droids, their programming was all too predictable. Jaina thrust her right hand out, freezing the blaster bolt with the Force. Triple Zero's red photoreceptor eyes flickered in surprise, algorithms recalculating expectation of victory. The odds were uneven. Triple Zero couldn't accurately predict the variables of the Force.

"A feint!" Triple Zero noticed the hovering saber float inches into her grasp. "My…your level of control is -"

Shut up.

She redirected the bolt with a slight gesture, seconds before impact, she brought the blade up with a wide single-handed deflecting move.

"Shut up." She seized them both, effectively extending her hold on every inch of their metallic bodies. BB-9e rolled away from Bee Tee, quickly hiding behind her. "You have something."

Triple Zero found his voicebox still was functional.

"An artifact no less of Lord Momin. Momin was no Sith Lord that the galaxy had seen before! I must say his creations were exquisite!"

Within the droid's chest cavity, she felt the malignant little octahedron spark in contact with her light side energy. Jaina probed it carefully, the energy an extension of her will, studied the facets of the holocron. Darkness blossomed from it, surrounding her inner vision.

"Woman." The voice came from within. She heard it watery sounding as if it came from underwater.

"Momin."

The holocron thumped against Triple Zero's chest plate, eager to be free of its confining cage.

"I feel you. Your power that moves inside the living. So much darkness struggling for dominance. I can show you the true nature of the dark side."

Within the artist's darkness, red eyes flickered open. The Sith continued whispering. "The light, ah…waxes and wanes in you." She felt the holocron stretch malignant tendrils out, curling into her own energy center, probing the outer surface of her thoughts. She was always thinking of him somewhere in her mind. Kylo's face emerged and the Sith chuckled.

"Vader's grandson? How precious…"

Jaina's vision was splitting. She felt her clothes whipped by the hard lashing winds of the storm and somewhere within the holocron, she sensed her inner self drawn in with Momin, unconsciously summoning the holocron toward her.

"Oh! Oh, really…must you rip off my chest plate?" Triple Zero muttered disapprovingly.

Her grasp on the saber loosened. The winged hilt represented a lot of things to her. The shape and green cabochon reminded her of something she needed. Momin had found the weakness in her armor -

She saw herself on her own.

"Sword of the Jedi? Now that…takes me back. Lady Shaa told me the legend once." She felt his amusement crawl beneath her skin. Momin knew something she didn't. It was a terrible feeling to be ridiculed. "The light isn't strong in you. He was a storm in the Force, a living vessel of power like his siblings. Your light vacillates, hesitates."

Jaina blinked rapidly, sand and grit stung her eyes. The ground cracked into a spherical shape spreading outward beneath her feet. She was somehow two places at once, with Momin's spirit and present in her body. She held onto the saber hilt by her fingertips. Momin manifested into his armor and ancient clothing. His domed helmet and masked face radiated grim pleasure. Red eyes gleamed from the horizontal visor slit.

"You weren't born to be a Jedi."

She swallowed and sand seemed to slide down her throat. Her own suffocating feelings were burying her alive. Her grip finally started to slip. She could barely feel the hot metal of the hilt, hear the humming blade. Somewhere within Momin's darkness, the blade was with her. She knew it was. Darkness was never absolute. Once, the blade had been a pale violet hue. It had been wielded for good. Maybe the light in her did hesitate, maybe it wasn't so bright or strong. She _couldn't_ fix Kylo Ren, she _couldn't_ redeem the other person who was almost a friend - in the deep recesses of her mind that no one knew, she held onto the image of Luke Skywalker redeeming the most hated man in the galaxy - and succeeding. _I'm not Luke_ , she admitted suddenly to herself. _I have too much darkness in me. I'm not Luke or the legendary Sword of the Jedi_. _I'm just me...and that's alright._

"No." Jaina admitted quietly; Momin's shade was inches from her face. "But, that's what I am." She said with difficulty, consciously pulling back. "You're a liar and a murderer! You were never a Lord of the Sith! You sowed pain and fear wherever you went -" she twisted her hand, closing her fingers into a loose fist. "I see it all! Every creation of yours and they make me feel _nothing_." She snarled finally. The Force whipped itself into a frenzy. Gusting outward in a powerful circle centered around Jaina and Triple Zero. They lifted off the ground, pushed apart in a gigantic tug of war.

 _I'll show you_...

The Force struggled to achieve balance between the dark radiance spilling from the crystalline octahedron and her clawing grasp, burrowing deep into the surface. Momin shrieked from the hellish netherworld of his prison, sending shockwaves of pain through their connection. Jaina felt it lash her body, forcing her physical senses to ignore the agony. Beneath her fingertips, she had the tactile sensation of the holocron almost as if she held it in her hand. The hard edges of the crystal gave way to flesh as if she held something living with a pulse -

 _All that knowledge -_

She regretted letting it go.

"It's enough."

 _I saw enough._

Tears wet her cheek. Jaina shuttered her fist decisively, screaming in defiance of the Sith's futile last attempts to hold onto his form..

...

On a distant forested planet, she slowed to a stop. Something stirred through the upper canopy of leaves. The ever present darkness lingering on the edges of her senses, writhed in dismay. She had lain low for three decades, choosing life and quiet reflection. The headstrong girl had matured into a competent warrior and then after the blaze of betrayal from the closest person in her life, rebelled. The Rebel had long since vanished from the face of the galaxy descending into silvered elder age.

Some called her Ashla, a wise woman who lived at the forest's edge and communed with the trees. Her eyes were no longer as sharp, nor piercing blue. She felt something beyond the planet, greater than herself. Whatever or whoever it was, challenged the dark side…and won. She felt their triumph as a rebellious scream, the echo of which carried through the Force. The Force, ever serene, soon returned to itself, flowing around her. But, it wasn't the same. She could feel it in the air, in the ground. In the trees and flowers. The warrior inside, remembered what it was like to lose - lose others - and fight back.

"I'm not part of it." She reminded herself, not anymore. The aged Togruta who had once been called Ahsoka, shook her head, turning her back on the forest brimming with life.

...

 _The Force moves in mysterious ways._

He thought it apt to think so, pulling the woman into his arms. Jaina was boneless, completely unconscious. She barely stirred when he hefted her across his shoulders, her height slightly taller than him. "Why do these things always happen to you?" Luke felt his age showing as he tottered a few steps. He hadn't expected an answer nor received one.

The droid he glanced at through narrowed eyes.

Some part of it was still functioning, the blue eye sizzling in the wind, sparks thrown off by its metal body.

"Sorry." Luke offered gruffly. "I can't carry both of you." He had the slight feeling the droid understood, head rotating a quarter of the way to watch them go. Luke wended his way with difficulty down the sand dunes soon hidden from the droid's sight.

 _I couldn't ignore it._

 _That feeling drawing me here._

He was sure now.

The Force intended for him to save her, the Force wasn't done with Jaina or Ben, of that he was positive.

In the distance, the whipping winds blurred his sight of Mos Eisley. The canyons where the Tusken Raiders had once prowled were eerily devoid of life. He saw troop transports lifting off and sensed a darker taint to the Force beyond Jaina. The source belonged to someone else, someone who had once been under his tutelage. Luke felt the grit in his mouth. The speck of sand wormed its way under his tongue, stinging, cuttingly bitter. There was no light beyond the stabilizing inner force of Jaina's balance, the edges where the two met petered into sharp grey descending into malevolence.

It was one of his former students alone and without the accompaniment of Stormtroopers.

...

"Master Skywalker!" Saskia uttered in shock. Beneath her helmet, the color had drained from her face. She would've recognized the slightly bent form of the stocky older man anywhere. Luke straightened, his blue eyes keen. For a moment, Saskia felt like an orphan on Gatalenta.

"It isn't good or nice to see you as it should be, Saskia."

She jolted hearing her name fall from his lips.

"So you're alive?" She felt stupid as soon as she'd opened her mouth. The vocoder distorted her voice into a deep growl.

"As you can see." Luke hefted his burden forward suddenly, throwing Jaina to the ground between them. "I aim to stay that way for some time to come."

She wanted to laugh at his statement. It was impossible in Ren's galaxy for him to remain alive. Yet here he was, the most wanted man in the galaxy, walking around in the desert unnoticed. Saskia reached for her light saber, the motion ingrained from confronting an enemy that she didn't immediately glance at the woman.

"I don't mind tangling with you now."

She saw the hilt of his saber so familiar to her youth. The floodgate of memory threatened to overflow. Saskia gritted her teeth, wrestling with herself. The blade lit green and she remembered burying her yellow crystal in Zahara's grave.

"But, if she doesn't get medical care soon, she'll die."

Saskia looked sharply, not wanting to believe it. Jaina was in a bad way physically. The wounds, she noted, weren't the clean cauterization of a light saber, but ugly and messy. "What makes you think I care?"

Luke shrugged slightly, "I don't know. You didn't care when Zahara was murdered so why should you care now?"

Stop it. She felt her resolve shake. Killing Luke absolved nothing of her guilt. Tearing down the image in her mind of her first master shattered none of her chains, or achieved her unattainable dream. Kylo would be furious that his uncle had survived the attack and even more angry that she had delivered the coup de grace. "I hated you."

"I know." And he sounded resigned. "I hated myself more than any of you ever hated me. That girl," he meant Jaina. "She knows nothing about me. I found her out there - the victim of a junker's violence. I think the junker was trying to make off with the droid."

"So ... _what_? You just decided to pick her up like a stray?" She spat. "Just like us?!"

"Maybe showing a bit of kindness to an enemy." Luke rejoined, mildly irritated. "Believe me, I don't care about the galaxy Ben's forging from fire and blood. I'm not the hero, Saskia, nor am I your enemy." Those blue eyes that took her back to a moment when Jaina was challenging her beliefs, stared into her face mask. Unsettled by the similarity of expression, her hand dropped to her side, emptied.

Those eyes seemed to insinuate the truth.

 _You know who your true enemy is._

Luke switched his saber off after a long moment. Saskia felt somehow let down. After all this time, she could still feel like an unruly child.

"Master Skywalker," she said after he had begun to walk away. "You had no children." _Didn't you? You had no family, no one to carry on your bloodline. No one who should make that face so similar to yours._

He glanced back and she sensed he was smiling, wearing that wry, unpleasant twist to his mouth. Luke had been handsome once, still was. Try as she might, Saskia couldn't shake the look on his face, her mind trapped in helpless circles to the times when she had seen the same expression on Jaina's face.

"I must be losing my mind."

...

Nash Windrider remembered countless inspections by the red-haired man who disembarked from the command shuttle. There was a time when their ideals had seemed aligned with a strong Empire, the future was clear. Windrider, whose pilots benefited from the knowledge of former Imperial cadets, were stronger than those pressed into service aboard other ships. He considered himself beyond the petty entanglements and intrigues of the men jockeying for position in Ren's new Galactic Order.

He produced pilots worthy of the long dead Imperial breed. For a long time, Windrider had felt assured of his status as the best of the First Order commanders, little by little doubt has begun to creep in.

"Captain Windrider, so good of you to join us."

"I am pleased to have you here, and much honored, Supreme Leader Ren, General Hux." Clipped speech, polite tones. He had assembled his top cadets in rank and row. Windrider stood proudly before them, expecting to point out numerical designations, flying marks. Hux's gaze swept past him, idly sizing up the interior of the resurgent-class Star Destroyer's main hangar. Irritation disturbed his complacent form.

"You graduated from the Imperial Academy?"

"Yes, that's right."

Supreme Leader Ren had hardly glanced around. Windrider had heard stories of the Force user's abilities. Briefly, he felt some trepidation. The younger man almost seemed to dismiss him as unworthy of further attention. Windrider cleared his throat slightly. "What is this about?"

Hux had taken a data pad from one of Windrider's officers. He swiped through the specs of the TIE Wing. "Largest TIE Wing in the armada, strongest cadets reported by Captain Serotte during his subjugation of Coruscant."

"I always seek to exceed expectations. Captain Serotte's commendations don't belong only to myself, they extend to the pilots."

Hux approached him now, a slender figure in his great coat, the only color his green eyes and bright red hair. Windrider felt a sharply distinct dislike for the man pass through his heart. Hux was close enough so that his next words were observed by no one.

"You recommended Ciena Ree, former stand in Captain of the Inflictor for the highest Imperial honor years ago?"

"That's right."

"You'll be disappointed to learn your judgment of her was quite wrong. She and around fifty others were hiding out on a mining colony causing trouble. The _Tarkin_ and _Advantage_ led the attack. They've all been eliminated by the _Executrix_."

…

The resurgent-class Star Destroyer _Absolution_ drifted above Tatooine. An exercise in tactics for the young cadets followed Saskia's _Starfall_ into the large bay.

"Teaching them to be ruffians," she remarked caustically to the Stormtrooper Captain by rank shoulders below Avior. Her comment provoked a spurt of laughter. In the military ranks, she fell somewhere between nuisance and superior. She should've felt better to be surrounded by durasteel, but the comfort she had come to expect from the First Order remained absent.

Now as she stood before the bacta tank, she frowned at the displayed vitals.

"What is it about you?" They'd all had their scrapes, their near misses. She thought something must be wrong. "Why does it feel like something wants you dead?" Saskia studied the woman's face, her increased pallor a side effect of the bluish tinted bacta fluid. The med droid had told her it was a special formulation for tissue rejuvenation.

"When will she awaken?"

"In four hours, if not sooner."

 _Wonderful…like I didn't know any better_. Saskia opened her mouth to say something else. The med droid had brusquely strode away.

Then, came the part she dreaded most.

Saskia had the call directed to her quarters on the _Starfall_. She had barely removed her helmet when the pinging came anew. Ren had been incessant for the last hour.

"How is she?" The first words out of his mouth weren't surprising in the least. He looked like he hadn't been sleeping well.

"She's alive, but that's not what you're asking. You want to come and see her." Saskia could plainly see Ren's _want_. He was fighting the urge tooth and nail, losing the battle to keep away. _You want to take her in your arms, kiss her and make her feel safe. I know how you feel because every time I came back from a mission, that's all I wanted was to be in his arms._

"Somehow, someway, you knew what was happening on the moth-eaten dust ball of a planet light years away from your current position. You even ordered the cadets into the sandstorm to find Jaina."

"I had prior contact with her."

"You told them to look beyond the junkyard at the edge of Mos Eisley." You told them exactly where to look and threatened dire punishment if they didn't return with her. "You know what I think?" No, she could also see he didn't particularly wish to know her thoughts.

"You felt it."

He despised the superior look of knowing on the knight's face.

Yes, he had. Physical pain reminiscent of torture jolting him awake where he'd fallen into a light doze. Kylo was reminded of Chewbacca's bowcaster, wretched creature. Kylo refused to think of his small self running after the large Wookiee.

"She must be projecting it. Her force gift is unique, unusual in application. There are likely ways she can manipulate the Force from a distance so that it affects the mind." He stated with something less than surety. Saskia wore the damnable smile she always did when satisfied over a particular slaughter.

"She was a quarter of the way dead when I found her." The knight said flatly, ignoring his wince. "Tell me how she was injured."

He thought to remind the knight that it wasn't her place to demand answers and especially when thinking about it made the woman surface in his mind. "She was shot by a blaster."

Yes, that's what it felt like.

He still remembered the blaster burns on his hands training with Luke's old droid.

"Where?"

In the knight's expression, he saw he could no longer keep denying it even to himself.

...

"You're broadcasting your thoughts a mile away." The voice came from a room of red velvet drapes. Rose wandered from the door closer to the source. "You need to learn better control."

"Kylo Ren is aboard."

"Oh, I know already. I could see Hux's manipulation bringing him here. He wants to take Windrider's cadets, take away everything the man has dedicated his life to becoming. It's the beginning of his purging of the Imperials. Ironically, his hatred of them is based in his deep rooted insecurities over his father and birth mother."

"If you don't mind me asking," she walked past a velvet divan draped with a shawl of darshaa silk, following the sound of the voice. "Who are you?"

"I could say master of the mystical art of the Force, but that's just puffery. I belonged to the Jedi Order until I was twenty years old." She walked through the connecting room, her footfalls muffled as hard black flagstone gave way to plush bedroom carpeting.

"Then, you're a Jedi." She wasn't sure what to make of the Force or Skywalker. It seemed a bunch of old legends that had no place in the galaxy she knew. The Force didn't save Otomok or Paige, nor had it saved Rey. Humans had saved the Resistance to fight again, but even that she hesitated on being thankful for. _I asked to come here_. She could see comfortable furniture, cloth that rustled when someone shifted. It was an old man. She knew he was old somehow even without catching a glimpse of flesh.

"You can call me Loress or Jade. It doesn't matter. They usually call me Master Jade as if I was a Master of anything or anyone." He snorted. "Snoke used to think he could control my mind like all the rest. He called me worm for a while, then snake at the end when he decided to set his Praetorian Guard on me."

"So you were helping Snoke?"

"Not really. I had my own goals in mind." He observed her hesitance. "It's alright, you don't have to come any closer."

Rose wasn't afraid much. She distrusted a great deal, but that was only ingrained wariness. "What about Kylo Ren?"

"They're going to stay onboard to observe the training regimen. I'll have to send a few nightmares to shake things up."

"You can do that?"

"Through the Force, Rose. You're safe here from him. I've been in his head for years."

"What do you mean?"

"Exactly how it sounds. Luke, ever the fool, thought it was Snoke who unbalanced him. Dreams, horrible fantasies, nightmares it all takes a toll on a person's mind."

"I…don't…but why?"

"Think about it. You're a smart girl. If Ben Solo was unstable, how would be perceived? He wouldn't have legions of loyal men and women at his beck and call. They follow him out of fear, all the while Hux plots away on how to get rid of him thereby destabilizing the First Order from within." Jade shrugged. "It might be scary to you, to think of fighting someone unstable, but you must remember…he is alone and will make mistakes that allow openings such as the one when you fine people were rescued."

"Why tell me this?" As she had spoken, the old man got to his feet, shuffling to a counter top with a hot plate. From a shelf, he procured one chipped cup and a canister of pungent-smelling dark granules.

"Oh, I don't know…you can tell Luke if you want. Frankly, I don't care." He scratched his silver cheek, the motion ingrained from years. "Sometimes, the worst thing is almost. You've almost made it. You've almost carried the day only to fail at the last and watch everything you've saved, sift through your hands." The hazel eyes flickered to her.

"If he wasn't so pitiless, I could almost feel sorry for him." She said bitterly, rubbing her arms. "If you're so powerful, why haven't you killed Kylo Ren?" Rose knew the name and it inspired terror in her. The masked face and long cape seemed a nightmare, a monster dwelled beneath the helmet, nothing human could lead the First Order.

"Thirty years younger, he would've met his end on my blade. But, I am old and no match for him in physical combat." Jade offered her a cup of instant caf. "I tried to kill him when he was small. I had a vision of him murdering my daughter and the child she would have. I couldn't risk losing Mara or her baby."

"What happened?"

 _They kidnapped him._

 _It was almost too easy. Organa had a pair of droids watching over the tiny boy. Solo, his father, was off gallivanting across the galaxy. Even back then, little Ben Solo was strong in the Force. They didn't kill him, they brought him to the rendezvous point, alive._

"Luke stopped me."

 _He tracked the ship. He slew the bounty hunters I hired. He even dismantled Kaytuu_. Jade's voice grew wearied. "We fought an increasingly pitched battle out in a field surrounded on three sides by trees."

 _I tried explaining my reasoning._

"What he'll become will destroy everything you've ever cared for including mine and I won't let it. Luke was stupid. Still is. I began to realize I didn't need to convince him, I just needed to kill little Ben Solo." _It was such a terrible thing, but I had done many, what was one more? That was what I rationalized. I tried, oh I tried._ "Force lightning, not many have been privileged to witness its true destructive power." He watched her face. "Snoke protected him. I felt the dark side shift around the boy. Snoke's malignancy pouring out of him kept him from the verge of death."

 _It was too much. I wasn't strong enough in the dark side to counter both Ben and Snoke together, especially not with that fool, Luke, attacking me with his strong style._ "He was desperate to stop me, he went to the dark side. He defeated me nearly the same way he had taken down his father on the second Death Star. But, where there was familial love stopping him, there was none for me." _He stopped only because Ben Solo started crying for his uncle Luke._

 _So the Jedi who had never been knighted by any living Master, went to his nephew and soothed his tears. I had been so close. So near to ending the boy's threat - but I had failed._

 _I knelt in the bloodstained grass, waiting for Luke to return._

The old man held up his right hand. "I'd already lost one." _He stood over me, holding Ben. Luke was smug in his place as a Jedi. Jedi didn't kill and he wasn't going to kill me._ "He was only going to take away my ability to use the Force. Thereby ending the threat or so he thought. Now you'll never know what it's like to hold your grandchildren in your own hands. You have only yourself to blame. Luke said that and I told him in response one day he would bitterly regret stopping me. He paid a terrible price for his foolishness."

"I never knew or imagined…," Rose had only experienced the human side of the conflict, never realizing the drama that had played out between the Force users had contributed to the end result. "I came from a poor mining colony. I never really knew about the Force until Finn…," she trailed off, unsure of how to describe how much Finn meant to her or how they had met. "Finn told me about this girl who could use the Force. Until then, I thought we only had to keep fighting on smaller fronts to win the day." She smiled self-consciously. "I guess that was my naiveté speaking."

"I like you." Jade said in the silence that followed. "I don't normally like humans or aliens. They think too much. After raping so many minds, I've found they're all the same, full of greed and petty lusts. But, yours,…oh ho! Yours is so honest and open. I like it. If you were a Force sensitive, I would train you."

"N-No, thanks." She had the sense he was smiling. He reminded her of a coiled sand snake. Something feral, dangerous. He was slightly unnerving her even now. "You…mind-rape people? That's it?"

"I thought everyone knew, but never understood it. I can hear your thoughts, spoken in your voice. More than yours, coming in a steady stream from every direction. When I was a boy, I was taken to the Jedi Temple. I can still see it now, the courtyard, the fountain, padawans who walked with their noses in the air because they'd been chosen by masters. I could hear voices all around me, but no one was speaking to me. Logically, I thought I was losing my mind and was quite afraid for a long time until Yan Dooku, ah, yes, that was his name, the Count of Serenno, told me I had a gift. It was difficult for me to accept even hearing it from a master so when Master Infil'a demonstrated the similarities between myself and Master Vos, I began to realize my full potential."

"I've never heard of them." Rose said carefully. She had never spoken to anyone who had walked inside the old Jedi Temple, not even Skywalker had that knowledge.

"You wouldn't have. He was long dead before you were born. He was a very strong and good man although losing his padawans as he did, hurt him more than he could take. He was murdered under Palpatine's directive." Jade paused to gather his thoughts in order. "It didn't take long for me to realize I could hear more than surface thoughts. The Jedi and Sith have a similar technique called mind probe which is the invasion of a mind. But, I could hear secret thoughts, the kind that usually don't see the light of day."

 _Fisto and Secura are in love with each other._

 _Windu still has moments of uncontrollable darkness in him, he masks it behind his Vaapad form._

 _Yoda buries his uncertainty in the future of the Order, choosing to believe in the unifying Force…when the Jedi are stagnating along with the Republic -_

"There's no innocence left soon enough. The mind develops, the body matures. I had matured faster than the ten year old younglings fighting to catch the eye of a Master. I could hear everything, Rose. I still can, although I've learned how to filter through the noise so it's tolerable to live and sleep."

"How much can you see?"

"Quite a bit. You have something in your pocket from Cantonica. It's been weighing heavily on your mind since last week."

Rose's gaze had dropped to the man's saber hilt. Curved silver with a carved cabochon of a carbuncle star set midway down, the hilt drew the eye reminding her unwillingly of Valerian. This man was no Jedi like Skywalker. He was something else entirely.

"You even thought of pitching it out the airlock, but something held you back." He held his gloved hand out, gesturing with a slight curl of his fingers. "Give it here, let me see it."

She slipped her hand into her pocket, her fingers smoothing the crystalline edges. Rose placed it carefully in his palm. The eyes visible through the mask darted down to the cloven crystal. After a few moments of silent contemplation, she couldn't stand it anymore.

"What is it?"

"I know this crystal. It once powered a Jedi Master's light saber." The old man's hand trembled. Rose heard the catch in his voice, curious as to the play of emotions on his face. "He once took the Barash Vow to live alone with the Force. Padawan Kynter was of course upset when his Master left the Order, but I was impressed. I used to wish he had taken me with him to the monastery on Al'doleem." The old man appeared to be looking into the mists of memory, murmuring to himself. "Maybe together we could've had a fighting chance."

"So it's important?" She stammered, embarrassed. Maybe she should've shown it to Finn, but he was so busy preparing to ship off for Kobol that she hadn't wanted to bother him. "I'm sorry I didn't know what it was - I um...used to work behind pipes and you know, I don't know a lot about these things. So, was the man who gave it to me a Jedi? I thought there weren't any more Jedi in the galaxy except for Luke Skywalker." _I thought Valerian was with the First Order…come to think of it, V'lane_ _seemed to know who he was_.

"Luke's still carrying the torch as the last Jedi? He's full of it." Jade muttered in disgust. "The man you speak of stole it from someone. He was sending me a message...he knows I'm alive and what's coming."

Rose's heart quailed. Had she done the right thing in coming here? She had traveled so far under a different alias to gain access to the _Interceptor_ that she hadn't stopped to question her motives. It just felt like…an impulse or something that needed to be done. _I was his messenger_ _,_ Rose realized, shaken. Valerian had asked her to give Jade the kyber crystal, but without words, Valerian knew that Jade would understand. "Who is he and what's coming?" She felt suddenly that she was part of something bigger than the Imperial Remnant.

"That man is one of the Knights of Ren. As for your other question...No hard feelings, but I might have to kill you if I tell you. ."

...

"Why did you change your vote?"

Windrider willed himself to remain patient. Hosting the First Order on his ship had once been something to take pride in. He remembered his dedication to the cause of restoring the Empire to its place of power, turning a blind eye to Sloane's murder, the purge of fellow men who had overstepped Snoke's increasingly rigid bounds. He sat in his private study, glad to be away from the scrutiny of his crew.

 _It's Princess. Princess Leia, you fool_. "Leia Solo is one woman. The First Order doesn't execute helpless old women."

"She is a symbol, Captain. She formed the Resistance singlehandedly and tried making noise about our continued existence to the fools of the New Republic until our…devastated coming out during the Battle of Hosnian Prime. Unless, your ties to Alderaan moved you to sympathy. I hope you aren't spreading seditious conduct among the susceptible new recruits." Hux drank tea from a white cup, taking a delicate sip from the rim.

Windrider flinched. He couldn't help his instinctive gut clenching reaction. Ciena and now this…cross examination. "My homeworld is no more, General. Alderaan hasn't existed on any star map for decades." Acid dripped from his tone. "If you're questioning my motives for mercy, I would address your grievances with Supreme Leader Ren. He pardoned Leia Solo."

"Oh, I intend to, Captain Windrider. I feel," Hux sighed as if aggrieved. "As though Leia Organa isn't long for this world." The cup rattled in its saucer. Windrider's gaze flickered to it. It was a sign, subtle but certain. "On the subject of training the new generation for defense, what was your opinion on the Empire's use of clones?"

"They were for the most part inadequate. Yes, there were some advantages, but the Empire eventually saw the folly of their ways and began recruitment from the galaxy. A move that benefited them much." He didn't have to say it, thinking it was enough with the tight, arrogant smile that Hux despised. He had graduated from the Royal Imperial Academy, a distinction shared by a few of the old First Order elite. There was nothing of the Arkanis Academy from which Brendol Hux had originated from.

"I see, but perhaps the man they cloned was flawed. Full of error encoded DNA, the flaws would manifest in the Imperial Stormtroopers." Hux persisted.

"It's possible, anything is. Human cadets have always performed well in my squadrons. The Resistance effectively utilized alien species." He had never much understood the policy of exclusion practiced by the Empire. In rare cases such as former Grand Admiral Thrawn, a member of an alien race could rise through the ranks if they possessed exceptional talent. Windrider had a vague inkling as to the direction the general's thoughts turned. It had been discussed at some point, utilizing clone technology to perfect the First Order's Stormtroopers. Although, in the event of a defection which was highly unlikely given the amount of conditioning, he had seen little reason to attempt a change to the system.

"The First Order has no need of alien races among our army and naval command." Hux said sternly, setting the cup down hard. "We need soldiers who will obey orders without question - who breathe and live the First Order coda." He smirked. "We have no need of the old, decayed method of turning infants into killing machines. No more of Brendol Hux's methods." The shine of future glory had come into his green eyes. Nash watched him warily. He had seen the same look of madness in the eyes of prisoners sent to Imperial detention centers.

"Then, what're you proposing, sir?"

Hux rose to his feet. "No more of your pilots. The remainder cease operating as cadets from this moment on. The academy in Arkanis will produce them from now on."

…

 _No more…,_

"He intends to disband my flight school."

Muffled clapping broke the silence. "So Nash Windrider's crisis of conscience is over. Excellent! Let's see how far his vendetta will go." The old man jeered; Rose looked between the First Order Captain and the Force user. Windrider took notice of her, "who is this?" He jabbed a gloved finger in her direction. "Who is this girl on my ship!"

"Don't worry about her. She's with me."

"Hey! I'm not with you!" She yelled, reddening in embarrassment.

"It's a figure of speech, young one."

Windrider shook his head slightly. "We have a problem."

"No, you have a problem."

"I said we…the First Order is going to begin cloning troopers and pilots to fill their ranks."

"Oh, I know about that. What I meant is one of your senior officers, Dalven Kyrell, plans on outing you as an Imperialist sympathizer."

Windrider blanched, "that scum! I should've known. I kept him close to keep track of his movements. He probably thinks Hux will reward him for the information."

"In all likelihood, yes. You're going to have to catch up to him." The old man nodded to Rose. "Take the girl."

"Why me!?"

The old man moved with laborious intent. "There's luck around you. That girl who looks like you said so."

"What…?"

He had stopped in front of a paneled wall covered with an enormous tapestry of a moon. "Don't tell me you bought into the whole Jedi thing about only Force sensitives living on through the Force? Please. There is no death, there is the Force. Paige, right. That's her name?" _As annoying as their coda is, some parts of it were true._

She pressed her hand to her mouth, shaking. "You're not lying to me, are you?"

"Hey, I'm not Skywalker. Why would I? I certainly don't care about making you feel better. I can see her around you. I don't think she's there all the time."

Rose sniffled and somehow started to smile. It was all so unbelievable, she could almost believe in a galaxy full of weird and wonderful things like the mystical Force. She would try to remember it whenever she felt the odds were insurmountable and she felt truly alone. "I wish I could see her."

"Well, I don't see anything. Ciena and her people used to believe in the Force. Personally, I thought it was a whole lot of baloney."

"You would, Captain Windrider. You're far too practical for my taste." The old man exposed a hidden keypad, striking the keys rapidly. With a hissing sound, the panel slid away revealing a wall case of weaponry. Despite herself, Rose drew closer, amazed to see curved hand scythes, kukuri throwing daggers and a number of ancient hilts she could only assume were the mystical weapons of the Jedi, mounted behind the transparisteel panel. Aside from his mastery over the Force, the old man was apparently a weapons connoisseur.

"This deadly ordnance belonged to the Mandalorian bounty hunter who took out my liver." The old man grumbled, sliding the hidden clatch open. The short spear extended with a slight depress on the haft. Six minuscule needles spiked from the tip. "The chamber contains six grams of poison in three vials. Unload it under the chin, the point of entry is nano-sized. He used to say it was perfect for assassinations."

"I have a blaster." Windrider touched the officer's model at his hip.

"Too messy and traceable. If Kyrell gets away, then you'll have the entire ship on high alert." The old man said reasonably, passing off the hand spear. He reached in one more time finding a slim familiar-looking gadget. "This is for you, Rose. It once belonged to Aurra Sing before she met an ignominious death by the hand of a human. It's a modified laser stunner."

Perfect. She knew just how to work those things.

"It works pretty much the same as your average electric charged stun gun, but better. Now, get going and no foul ups."

"Couldn't you just Force-throttle him?"

"It's called force-choke and no, not if I don't want Kylo Ren battering down my door."

…

 _I must be insane or mind-tricked._

Silence filled the lift.

The dark-haired young woman looked down at the stun gun in her gloved hand. Her black hair was tucked into a bun beneath her peaked cap. Almond-shaped eyes flickered upward, catching his glance.

"Who are you?"

"Who exactly are you?" She returned cheekily.

 _I know who I am_. Nash had fastened the hand spear beneath the sleeve of his jacket. The leather brace remained hidden with an inch or so to spare. He could hardly believe, he, a respected First Order Captain, was voluntarily committing treason.

 _I agreed to disseminate Rebels among the armada._

 _I agreed to alter the instructional program on my pilots…_

 _I claimed to support the return of our glorious Empire._

"My homeworld was Alderaan." Nash said instead of the spiel he had compiled. _I know who I was._ "Where are you from?" Nights spent in a dormitory comparing homeworlds came to mind along with the laughter of good friends. The moment despite its attendant sorrow strengthened his resolve.

The woman scarcely blinked, her chin lifting with pride. "Otomok system, Hays Minor."

After a moment, he broke stares, glancing to the number counter. Like with all things on his _Interceptor_ , everything ran like polished clockwork. Precise and perfect. "I'm sorry." Nash thought shame was one of the most humbling emotions someone could ever feel.

Rose blinked and felt her heart rate speed up. They were close. She was an astronomical distance away from Finn and the place where in some small reluctant corner of her heart, she had begun to think wasn't so bad after all, yet the man next to her in the lift wasn't the enemy. The enemy, Rose had begun to learn had many faces and sometimes the one who had the face of an enemy was a friend after all.

"I'm sorry too."

...

"Where am I?" She blurrily came to with a slight groan. The sound was involuntary.

"On the Absolution."

She focused on the knight's face.

"Where's my droid?"

"The BB unit was recovered before the storm." The Stormtrooper academy wasn't her first choice of places to be. Jaina shifted her gaze to the med droid who shuffled out after making cursory marks on the datapad. A shade less professional, the knight's gaze softened. "I knew you'd raise bloody hell if we didn't find the droid."

"You know me too well."

"What happened down there?" Saskia's look turned serious.

"I was searching for a parts dealer for my ship. It's an old Imperial model and I was attacked in the sand dunes."

"I find that difficult to believe _you_ could be bested by a non force sensitive."

She glanced at her, eyes narrowed. "They were modified hunter-droids."

"Droids?"

"I don't know. It was something nasty hidden away in an old piece of junk." Jaina inspected the patch of smooth slightly blistered skin spreading from her middle to the waistband of the loose bottoms. She was itchy from the bacta tank. Why wasn't Saskia asking her about the holocron...didn't she sense the struggle in the Force? Her head began to hurt in confusion. "Were you on mission?"

"No...I was on my back to the _Dauntless_ when something drew me here. I had the sense that I needed to come back."

...

Dalven Kyrell was a coward. He had privately rejoiced over the identification of rebels, former or otherwise, located on the mining planet Waskiro. A film of the Executrix unloading her guns on the planet was circulated around the HoloNet much to the censure of a number of activist groups.

The First Order didn't attempt damage control. In Dalven's mind, that was somewhat of a mistake. Appearances were everything. There were also nasty rumors floating around that the planet was secured by TIE squadrons.

Then, there was Nash Windrider. Dalven had chafed under his command for years, longing for a moment to break out of his control. For one reason or another, his merits were never noticed by the upper echelon of military command. Windrider, he suspected, was solely to blame.

He had a meeting with General Hux to further discuss the Alderaanian's loyalties. Windrider was treading on thin ice with his stunt over the voting. Now with Amaral, another who supported the Supreme Leader's version of mercy, under criticism for indiscriminate slaughter, Dalven saw a chance to prove his worth to the general.

One hour.

Dalven checked his comm. He felt restless after eating in the cafeteria. The Interceptor had been his berth for seven years since it had ascended into space from the Kuat shipyards. A lower officer under Windrider's command, Dalven had long walked the hallways, dreaming of the day he would become Captain. All he needed was something to pin on Windrider's spotless record.

Windrider had done it himself.

Six months ago, the Interceptor had apprehended a crippled yacht drifting near Corellia. Familiar to both men from the days of the Empire, the Jade Shadow as it was called, had a thousand dents and scorch marks scarring its hull as if it had fought as many battles. But, the interior was pristine; a perfect museum of Empire tech. Windrider had boarded it with the troopers, blaster in hand. Nostalgia had come over the Captain, remembering the Empire in its glory days, the yacht that had once ferried Moffs and other people of importance contained a broken Imperial droid and an old man who drowsed in the corner of the kitchenette.

That was the first divergence from protocol in years.

But, that old man…in his strange tattered garments, arrested by the Stormtroopers, had offered no resistance. Dalven had been present when the old man's mask had been forcibly removed revealing the extent of his terrible injuries long since healed. Nauseated, Dalven had left the interrogation room, unable to continue.

Windrider had resumed the interrogation; another unusual occurrence.

"He had no face." Dalven said tremblingly over the table he shared with mess mates. "It looked like someone had scooped away the lower half of his face, taking his mouth, part of his nose and cheek." Or clawed it away. Dalven imagined the old man would be thrown out the airlock for drifting in First Order space.

The turbolift had left him on a stretch of corridor

But, a cell had sufficed.

Imprisoned, the old man rarely stirred in the subterranean prison situated within the bowels of the Star Destroyer. The yacht was moved into storage. Dalven had been down there once to make sure the old man hadn't moved from his cell. For a long time, Dalven stood outside the energy field panel, biting down on his gloved fist. He considered murdering the old man to be rid of him. He'd had…nightmares about that face and deep set yellow-gold eyes peering at him from the darkness along with other unpleasant things he couldn't remember.

Now Dalven entered the mostly emptied quarter, he needed to see for himself again before he brought it to Hux's attention.

The cell was empty.

He stared dumbly into the cell, then checked the corresponding numbers. "Gone! Gone!" He slapped his palm on the wall. Somewhere, the sound of revolving doors opening and closing reached him.

…

"I was hoping you were awake." She sat propped up by pillows in the med bay. The holo transmitter displayed a tiny flickering image. She supposed it was better than nothing, after the desert planet left her feeling in need of comfort. Saskia had been her usual brusque self, but more perturbed in mind. The Knight had retired to her private quarters aboard the Starfall, disdaining a room offered by the _Absolution's_ captain. Several times, she had caught the knight looking at her in consternation, yet said nothing. Jaina wondered if it was something Saskia had sensed that was bothering her. Whatever it was, Jaina decided not to probe into it too deeply.

"Are you feeling well enough to be up?"

"I'm alive, if that's what you're asking." _Random mechanized killing droids called Triple Zero and Bee Tee notwithstanding_. Jaina rubbed her bare arms, peering into the tiny holo. The blue glow cast a comforting light on her lap covered by a rumpled blanket. "Valkyn was after an ancient holocron that went down with a ship on Tatooine."

"What happened to the artifact?"

"It was destroyed." She decided to leave out the part where she Force-crushed it to rid the galaxy of Momin. "I believe the holocron belonged to a Sith called Momin. He was a sculptor of dark side creations. His name was struck from the records of the Sith and Jedi for his heretical views of the Force." Jaina hesitated, her fingers curling into the bunched up cloth. "He…sought to create rather than destroy in order to secure his legacy."

"I've never heard the name before. Were you able to open the holocron at all?" He couldn't imagine it possible for a novice to understand such a powerful dark side artifact.

"Just one side." She admitted guiltily. "It was through Momin's influence that Lord Vader built his castle on Mustafar. He thought he could harness the dark side to create a door in space and time. One that could breach life and death." Jaina said somberly. "Sidious gave Momin's mask to Vader as a test. Momin's crazed spirit approached Vader offering him a way to bring his wife, Padme, back to life through the castle that would act as a tuning fork to harness the dark side energies lingering on the planet. Momin even chose the site of an ancient dark side cave since it was thought to be exceedingly evil." She paused and fragmentary images of Momin's shade witnessing the scorched afterlife plain came back. "I think he succeeded...to a certain extent." Jaina subsided into pained silence. _It was what he deserved_."It was crazy really. Death is not the end, but Vader couldn't see it."

"She rejected him."

"Padme loved one part of the man he was. She loved Anakin and not Vader. To her, Vader wasn't Anakin, I guess there was a clear separation between them."

"You saw it all?"

"When I destroyed the holocron. The pair were linked…the mask was destroyed decades ago in a fire. But, the holocron kept his foul spirit anchored to this world."

"Are you sure you're alright?" The dark side artifact was interesting to him because of its creator's connection to Vader, yet the thought of being influenced by the vile creature Momin had been, reminded him of the master she had freed him from. Kylo had never thought about his grandmother's feelings concerning her husband's turning. Naively, if he had given it a thought, he would've assumed something other than Padme's apparent revulsion of the dark side. He found a smile forming the longer he regarded the woman's holograph. He had something more now than his grandfather ever had.

"Unless I suddenly murder half the crew and impale their heads and entrails in some bizarre display - if that happens, _please_ kill me." Jaina muttered, but she smiled as if the thought was amusing. Her smile quickly turned to a frown as the tiny holoprojector in her lap flashed red with low battery life. "Kriff! This thing's dying, I'll talk to you later."

"Jaina, -"

The tone of his voice stopped her from trying to find a cord to plug it in; the connection was lost a second later, cutting him off mid-sentence.

...

"What're you doing?"

"Overriding the security system." Nash had loosened a panel with connecting circuitry on the wall near the warden's desk. "Dalven's here."

Rose leaned closer over the counter, peering into the monitor he tapped. The man looked as any other she'd seen, pale from a life spent in space, pristine uniform, ashen blond hair. The constipated look on his face had devolved into one of nervous anxiety. He frantically searched the cell blocks, blaster in hand.

"What's he doing?"

"Dalven's looking for Jade. He's exhibiting all the signs of a nervous breakdown. He fears Jade, likely aware in some primordial way that his dreams haven't been his own." Nash switched the view to the hour before. "The _Interceptor_ recently cleaned up its prison. I haven't had troops stationed down here for some time. Not that Dalven ever noticed if it didn't concern his future promotion."

"I'm not going alone." Rose said.

"Of course you're not. What, you think I'm going to let a girl do my job for me?" Nash snapped. "I can tell you've never killed anyone."

Mollified, she faintly smiled. "Sorry. You're not quite what I expected." She had almost thought he meant to let her take the blame for Kyrell's disappearance. Rose didn't trust First Order officers especially not Windrider with his changing loyalties. But…Jade…whoever he was, with whatever he could do, seemed to think Windrider was trustworthy.

No more back and forth.

This was serious.

 _Please be watching over me, Pae-Pae, and please don't think it's bad what I'm about to do here._ Rose nodded as firmly as she could to show her resolve wasn't buckling. Nash took the lead without another word.

He held his hand up for her to stop. Rose heard the clanging of footsteps farther up ahead. She peered around him and nodded. Windrider clung to one wall as she slid along.

She took point now.

Her hand shook as she came in sight of the man. He was liable to shoot if she so much as made any discernible sound. Rose readied the stun gun, aiming carefully around the corner. The gloom provided cover as the track lighting was sparser here. The empty cells were pits of darkness. She took aim and fired. An electro-pulse wave half the size of the corridor was discharged from the business end. The flash of light startled Dalven Kyrell. He screamed and staggered back, his legs weakening. Blaster fire went wild, peppering the wall where she'd been. Nash pulled her back, trading off a few shots.

I thought Jade said no blasters.

The third shot hit Dalven in the shoulder. Nash rushed him when he went down.

There was a struggle.

Windrider kicked the blaster away, pinning Dalven's arms. The blond sweated profusely, his eyes bulging.

"Traitor!" His slurred word echoed between them. She started forward unsure of how to help. Windrider, shaken, depressed the hidden mechanism. Veins popped out of Dalven's neck, his reddened face went through an extremis of horror, disbelief, fury and finally slackened as the poison did its work. Nash held him upright until his feeble twitching stopped.

"I'd wanted to do that for a long time." Windrider said, retracting the needle-like appendage from Dalven's throat. Rose clipped the stunner to her hip in place of a blaster. "He's dead…just like that?"

"In the old days, Rose, the Rebel Alliance had many spies and not all of them were around to celebrate the end of the Empire." Nash straightened, momentary emotion clouding his face. "War is cruel. There is no glory in dogfights in the skies. I lost friends on the original Death Star, good people while this thing -" he gestured with disgust to the man collapsed on the floor. "Wheedled and whined his way out of active service to save his own skin."

"I'm sorry about that…somehow. I don't know." Rose wasn't sure if her sympathy made her a hypocrite to the dead rebels. Heroes, Poe would've called them proudly. But, General Organa would've bluntly replied _dead heroes_. Her feelings were confused; she thought she could think about it some other time. There were other more important things to do. "What now?"

"We dispose of the body. Help me with his feet."

...

"That was very foolish of you."

Although spoken in a mild tone, Jaina felt her face heat up. Shaak Ti never raised her voice. She didn't have to in order to make one understand when they'd displeased her. "I know it was," she'd left the med bay hours ago, resuming work on repairing BB-9e's damaged chassis. Whatever she needed to fix BB-9e was given without question. She wondered if it had something to do with Saskia's presence in the hangar or if her own status was somehow elevated. They'd even offered her a new BB unit without its motherboard to install BB-9e's personality. She had refused mostly because her BB-9e was different. BB-9e wore dings and dents and burns with its now-broken antenna just like she carried scars. No one had a more loyal droid than her, she was certain.

"I had a reason." Jaina said simply, laying aside the wrench. "Momin was a sculptor, an architect of dark side objects. He could weave the Force into a building - I needed to know how." She saw the Jedi Master's disapproval. "When the Jedi Order returns, they'll need a temple. I want to design a temple that incorporates the light side of the Force. The old temple was built on top of a Force nexus which could be turned for good or ill. When the Jedi declined in power, the evil gained a firm foothold, clouding their connection to the Force. I want the future temple to resonate always with purity."

"You're so determined-"

"There is no ignorance, there is _knowledge_."

"-to be right."

She was going to protest that wasn't always the case, shifting on the stool. Pain from the healing wound made her gasp, lightly pressing her hand to her abdomen. The Jedi Master's expression softened minutely. "Since you should be taking it easy right now, you should resume your language studies that you've neglected recently."

"Do I have to?" She had hit the multitude of Wookiee words for wood and been confused on the purpose of them all. Picking up the wrench, she made a few adjustments to BB-9e's back panel. Once that was done, she switched on the interior orbiculate motor. The droid's blue eye flickered on and a tinny beep issued.

"Or you can practice Force techniques that won't tax your physical strength."

"I'd much prefer Force techniques." Jaina said relieved. "What is there other than Force healing?"

...

The message came during his physical work out. Kylo listened to it while toweling his face dry of sweat. One of Farady's officers had located the holomap in Darth Vader's personal archives. That his grandfather had been aware of the corrupted Sith planet's location was astounding. He had thought it lost for a millennia.

The nervous tones of the Petty Officer related the find, timidly ending the call with a question as to where the information was to be sent to.

"Upload it to my ship." He sent the order through one of Windrider's Lieutenants who was only to pleased to be of service to the Supreme Leader. He planned his next steps beneath the refreshing sonic jet in the shower adjoining his temporary quarters.

As of late he had been picking up a slight disturbance concerning his mother. Once he had been in proximity to her for an extended amount of time, a faint wisp of their old bond had come alive. He doubted her safety in a period of time spent away especially if Hux thought he could get away with it.

...

"Consitor Sato is a light side technique to induce plant growth mainly for aid in battle. I was a practitioner of it during my lifetime." Shaak Ti said with simple pride. "Fortunately, despite your location being less than ideal, there is a healthy greenhouse kept in quadrant nine. You can likely feel the plant life through meditation."

"How do I do it?"

The greenhouse encompassed an entire level of the Star Destroyer where artificial lighting and heating kept the optimum growing conditions for numerous consumable fruit bearing trees, vegetables from the vine and other various types of blue lettuce. She peered at them, thinking of the food replicators kept within the cafeteria's kitchen.

 _Reach out with your feelings._

 _Touch the green, growing life of the plant._

"Command it to grow."

 _Vibrant, healthy and full._ "You can make flowers bloom out of season. You can create flora in a desert land once you've mastered the technique."

She glanced upward to catch Shaak Ti watching her. "I'm not sure if I'm ready to manipulate life this way."

"Don't worry about the result. The least you can do is fail."

Fail…she hated failing, but then it was all part of the learning process. She always failed the first time, maybe the second time. But, that was only natural to not succeed every time. _As long as I don't give up_ , she thought, tentatively stretching her fingertips toward the purplish-vined plant.

…

Tired, but pleased, Jaina sat cross-legged on the floor. BB-9e circulated around the plate of strange-colored fruit, studying the oval brown and green striped pieces, eye clicking.

"That is one example of the Consitor Sato technique. It can also be used in battle. Because of your sensitivity to plant life, you'll be able to feel a world undergoing famine or drought. The Jedi Service Corps when in existence often were sent out to help the worlds deemed relatively safe for travel." The Jedi Master said, her dark robes pooled around her, the edges were emblazoned with elegant brown and red designs. "I want you to meditate now and see if you can describe them."

Jaina nodded slightly, resting her hands on her knees. She wanted to eat a piece of fruit and see if the interior tasted as good as the outside looked. She closed her eyes and focused on her desire to help others. It was one feeling or another that required concentration on. She felt her consciousness expand, moving past the limitations imposed by distance.

"I see a planet."

She could see it drifting around a red dwarf star. Two rocky moons the size of large asteroids circled it endlessly. She saw blazing heat and freezing nights. "I see children." Desert nomads. "They collect water and roots from the sparse plants." She didn't know how to describe the tall angular-shaped trunks with rounded limbs spiked with sentient thorns. She saw dry flat bread produced from the ground up roots. "They're starving…the trees or whatever they are, have been dying off."

"The system is far, they had nothing of worth to the First Order and went unnoticed by the New Republic. What is causing the famine?"

"I…I don't know. Nothing has changed in the seasons, the star and moons still rise and set." She grew quiet, trying something else. BB-9e rolled backward as the plate vibrated. "There was war." She breathed, the furrow deepening in her brow. "The marauders live in limestone caves. They're another species who survive off…something -something else. They burned the plants -" the root system beneath the ground was all connected, each sentient life form feeding the other its knowledge, sharing memories. The sensation of being burned alive ripped through her body. "I can hear them! They're screaming!" She cried suddenly, pulling away from the meditative state. BB-9e had shocked her with the lowest setting of electricity. The droid's electroprod vanished into a compartment as an apologetic beep came.

"Thanks, I needed that." She muttered, settling into a discontented slouch. "The sustenance of those people… It was all burned within a fortnight. They retaliated and managed to drive off the marauders, but the damage was already done." She looked at the woman sitting across from her. "Can't you do something about it?"

"What can be done? We serve the Unifying Force whose tenets promote the observance of destiny. The future is what should be built upon not the dealing of here and now."

"But, still…it's one planet. One place where a little bit of help could do a lot of good."

"Alright, if you were able to help them with what you've learned today, what would you do?"

She looked down at her hands, wishing she weren't so far away, just one person in the galaxy. "I would grow the living roots with the Force, encourage them to sprout new life. It would take some time…but why can't I do it now?" Yes, why couldn't she reach out through meditation and encourage growth through the Force?

"That is an adherence to the Living Force, seeking out the here and now without concern for the future. Recall, a Jedi should only act if balance can be achieved. It would take multiple Jedi to produce -"

"I've been told how strong I am in the Force." She protested stubbornly. "If I can translate it into power then maybe I can help someone! What is so good about the Force if I can't help even one person! Wasn't that part of a Jedi's duty to help those in need?"

"You should rest." Shaak Ti said after a long moment of quiet contemplation. "Your spirit is wearied from earlier." Rejuvenate yourself with sleep and we'll talk tomorrow."

...

The door opened.

"Mother."

She lowered the handkerchief from her face. Something was up. He never came to see her so often unless it concerned that surge in the Force.

"I should scold you for not knocking first."

"I'll be gone for a time." Ben appeared as he always had, yet there was an urgency in his expression. The swarm of anger always present around him was lessened by degrees. Leia always associated the positivity in Ben's aura to have an immediate connection with _her_.

"Why are you telling me this?" She wore a bed jacket over her long night gown. She had braided her hair, taking comfort in the familiarity of the gesture.

"I've left you in Captain Farady's care."

"Oh my, this sounds serious." She stopped short of teasing. "Is is something I should be concerned about?"

Those dark eyes flashed her way. He seemed more bemused than angry which was another good sign. Rather than say more, he was at the door when she added.

"Aren't you going to kiss your mother goodbye? You always used to back then."

"Don't push it."

 _..._

 _Now is the time to see how strong I really am_.

BB-9e beeped as she settled down on the floor. "Why don't I wait…? Because they'll try and talk me out of it." Jaina pushed her hair out of her eyes, wiggling around until she felt comfortable. "I don't need to doubt myself. I need to see what I can do." She exhaled, releasing the nervous tension in her body. "What good is hoarding power if you don't try to help people with it?"

The droid wasn't sure what she was getting at and resumed its station nearby, close enough to beep alerts, but far enough not to disturb her concentration.

Once more, she reached for the planet, through her feelings; she felt the thorny, recalcitrant plant hive mind that she had touched before.

"Grow."

The plant resisted her.

"Please grow…through the Force…death feeds new life. There has been enough death on the surface of the planet. Please…," she felt the energy stir with her determination. She felt it rise to meet her, existing within the spatial bounds of her meditative state. BB-9e's eye caught movement. One of the pieces of alien fruit left behind levitated from the plate, splitting apart midair. The green seeded interior blackened, shriveling into a rotted husk as if the very life was being sucked out of it. The droid looked around for a source, fixating on the former pilot. Sweat trickled down the side of her face.

 _Grow_. She repeated the word monotonously. She drew on her feelings, on the positivity of happiness Consciously, she discarded her negative emotions, refusing to let doubt hold her back. _I can do this. It's not harming or hurting another._ The plant reacted to the strength of her intention - _there are no others to help me right now_ \- the reminder sent a bitter pang to her heart.

A vision of Luke's students went through her head.

It was such a waste.

In the midst of her concentration, her thoughts swam in hazy circles around one man.

 _"Why aren't you angry that I've turned you down twice?" This is a trap. He must be lying to me. As much as she tried to convince herself otherwise, the look on his face transmitted through the tiny holograph was enough to make her stomach flutter in nervous excitement._

 _He smiled - not a twist of lips in a pained grimace or expression of distaste. It was a true smile as far as he was capable of making. "I know you'll say yes."_

 _"That's rich. You don't really know who I am."_ _She couldn't resist asking doubtfully._

 _No, maybe he didn't know and was basing his assumptions on what he wanted to see. Maybe that's what had frightened him so much about opening himself up to another person was not knowing a thing about them and being afraid of judgment for what he wasn't. "I can learn." No, it wasn't about being able to learn, it began with an earnest desire to know someone on a deeper level. "I want to learn you."_

 _No one knows how that makes me feel._

Happy. Excited. Afraid. Jaina was able to release her emotions to maintain the meditative state needed to convince most she was…letting go.

She came back to her self, stretching her senses out to check the results of her attempt.

She saw something.

It took her breath away.

 _It was too much like…_

 _Wild growth choking ancient ruins. Swampland thick with syrupy mire. The sky was a torment of leaden grey with angry clouds hovering over the horizon._ Jaina had the sense of surveying it all, breathing through lungs in a body not her own. _The dark side was strong on the desolate planet manifesting in swirling shades of cloaked figures hovering on the edge of her/his sight._

 _"No."_

Her exhale passed from her mouth into his. For a moment, she could taste a residue of the caf he had drunk on the shuttle.

 _"Jaina."_

The dead didn't so easily loosen their grasp on the living. She had the sense of what was to come. _Hideous armored beasts awakening from an ageless slumber. She saw the few Stormtroopers fall back, blaster bolts harmlessly bouncing off their plated bodies._

 _Cut off from his escape route, Kylo advanced to face them alone._

…

Rose glanced furtively at him throughout the day. Windrider carried on as he always had. Brisk, efficient only hesitating a few times when he caught the Haysian's eye. _Rose could be more discreet about it_ , he thought, doubting very much she was trained as a spy. If anything her indiscretion caused the rumor mill to swirl leading the bridge to speculate their captain was going through a late mid-life crisis. It was better than the alternative of suspecting collusion between him and the Imperials in Kyrell's sudden shoreleave.

Windrider grabbed Tico by the arm none so gently causing her to squeak and struggle in a deserted corridor.

"Come on." Her reddened face suggested something else entirely. Rose looked fuming mad to either stomp his foot or call for help. Fortunately - or unfortunately for her sake, a junior bridge officer wandered by just then and flashed a wolfish grin - conveniently going the opposite way. Windrider dragged her into a room used for storage, bemusedly surveying the girl's sparking eyes and snarl.

"Was that really necessary?!"

"Pretty much." Windrider muttered, thrusting her away. "You've been trying to tell me something all day. Now that we're alone, go ahead and spill it."

Rose smoothed her uniform down, flustered. "I…I was just wondering if…Jade was right. If you did turn because of…Ree and your pilots."

 _You killed a man._

"Kyrell had it coming. He served himself and no one else." Windrider said tiredly. It was only part of the truth. He didn't have the time or the patience to explain the small part of himself that he'd squirreled away from his persona in the First Order. For a moment, Windrider looked at her coldly, at the rebel who was for all purposes, at his mercy. Rose stared back, trying to look brave and not at all intimidated. Regardless of their different beliefs, Nash was impressed.

"The First Order isn't the Empire, Rose. I serve the Empire."

Her expression softened slightly. "Jade said he was going to organize a holocall meeting with Captain Fel."

"When?" He thought the name was familiar. _Baron Fel? One of Baron Fel's sons?_ He thought it didn't matter who the man was. Windrider was committed to a point.

She checked her wrist comm. "The Interceptor's going to pass through a solar flare emitted by the nearest star. Jade's providing the equipment on a secure channel."

Windrider forced himself to nod. "Supreme Leader Ren recently departed - the flight tower alerted me that he took a light guard with him. Hux is staying on until tomorrow, then he'll be returning to the Dreadnought."

Rose restrained her instinctive flinch. The reminder conjured up Paige in the StarFortress exploding over the First Order ship. Bad memories all. "Good riddance." She said with feeling instead.

"For once, I agree."

...

"I saw Kylo Ren on Dromund Kaas."

She stood in the center of the room. The blue radiance of the ghosts cast a pale tint to her face and body. Rather than feel comforted, their ethereal luminescence reminded her of a tomb's chill."What was it?"

"A vision of something to come. You've seen it before." The elongated head of a Cerean Master nodded sagely.

Jaina felt like screaming. "He was killed in my vision."

"Many paths the future takes. None of us can know the exact outcome."

"Yes or no?" She held her hands out, facing them. "What was he doing there?"

A few glances were exchanged. Once again, she had the unpleasant feeling they were weighing just how much to tell her. She reined in her temper - barely.

"He's searching for something he was told was somewhere on the planet's surface."

"Something to make him more powerful?" She asked sarcastically earning a reproving glance.

"No, it was for you." The one ghost she shouldn't have expected to keep silent, spoke up. "It's always been for you."

 _One of these days, my mouth is going to…_

"Kylo Ren is-"

"-one person."

 _You can't ask it of me right now._

"If your vision comes to pass, you will not have to make the choice later." She flinched at the sharpness of her tone. "Think hard about the effect your actions have."

"We're not censuring you, Jaina." Obi-Wan tried to soften Shaak Ti's curt assessment. "You need to decide what to do with the forewarning that was given to you."

...

Hidden deep within the bowels of the Star Destroyer in First Order space, Loress Jade put aside his mechanized screw driver. Kaytuueso's hand cannon was finished. "So it's begun." He didn't despise the light side, having moved on from hatred. Hatred and anger were far too easy, too simplistic to maintain. In his long life, he had learned to share an uneasy coexistence with the lighter half of the Force - and often as he had reminded his daughter, true balance couldn't be achieved without the light.

"Alright…let's get this done."

The white photoreceptor eyes turned toward the unsealing of the locked door. Jade laid aside the kit, the tools wrapped in a piece of reptilian skin clanked against one another.

"Whoa!" Rose looked startled, freezing behind Windrider. Kaytuu lowered his hand cannon, identifying them instantly. "Hello, Captain Windrider, Ms. Tico."

"It talks!"

"I was non-functioning for a while, but as you can see my model is made specifically hardy." The droid's slight mocking tone drew a furrow across Rose's round face.

"I altered his programming to identify you." Jade moved laboriously out from behind the makeshift desk. "Ordinarily he'll call you a meatbag."

"Charming." Windrider commented, glancing at the droid. "You don't see the security droid models anymore."

"I'm unique, Captain Windrider. My chassis is augmented embersteel to withstand extreme temperatures like those from a light saber or flametrooper's attack."

Windrider looked at the droid dubiously. "Where's the holoplate?"

The old man's legs refused to work properly. He moved stiffly toward them. "There isn't one. Kaytuu has a built in projector. Comes in handy when most people don't realize he's a walking-talking ordnance pile."

The droid tilted its head at them both.

"Shall I call Captain Fel?"

"Please."

Kaytuu switched modes while they made conversation.

"I thought that thing was a whole lot of junk." Rose admitted; the droid towered over them. The scuffed metal chest plate she remembered before, gleamed a dull greyish steel. The scent of machine wax clung to the shortened arms and piston-socket legs. Windrider had told her about the day six months before when the _Interceptor_ had pulled in a derelict Imperial yacht drifting above Corellian airspace.

"He is very persuasive."

"Jade?"

The captain had smiled deprecatingly. "Not so long ago, I hadn't entertained many subversive thoughts in my head. Once or twice admittedly, I detested Brendol Hux and hold an unfathomable loathing for Armitage, his son. I've paid my dues all these long years."

He sounded so bitter that she hesitated to ask. Understanding the man was one step closer to acknowledging that they weren't much different at all. "What do you mean?"

"You've heard the rumors. Breeding programs. I probably have a son or daughter somewhere in the fleet." He caught her startled look. "Most men do except for the few like Dyen Radford. He was a technocrat to use a term from the old days. I didn't know him too well, but he went the route old man Duma did, saying his sperm count was low."

Rose's eyes rounded. "I heard someone in the mess hall mention sacrifices, but I didn't know what they meant."

"The nurseries if you will, had our children and the babies they'd stolen from outer lying worlds. Ships like the _Absolution_ weeded out the officers, the pilots and made the rest into Stormtroopers."

Finn had been one and countless others. Rose had a hard time looking at the cold faces of the officers around her without imagining them parentless, churned out through loveless unions all to feed the machine the First Order had become.

"I'm sorry," she offered, feeling like she had done more apologizing in the week she had been aboard Windrider's ship than in her lifetime.

"Don't be," Nash said curtly. "I brought it upon myself." That had ended their brief conversation after disposing of Kyrell's body. Rose had gone to the barracks assigned to her ID number with a numb feeling in her head. Now looking at the man with his lined face and determined glint in his eyes, she saw a little of his resolve, recognizing it from the faces of the Imperial Remnant.

Jagged Fel's projection appeared a moment later.

"Greetings, Captain Windrider." He sent a nod of recognition Rose's way. "Master Jade filled me in on the distressing news about your flight school."

...

"I can sense your pain."

Jaina half-turned in surprise. She hadn't expected company on her solitary walk during wraith watch hours. A Kel Dor female had manifested into sight. She leaned against the wall, arms crossed over her ample chest. Her orange skin tone and contrasting brown Jedi garments appeared real enough to touch.

"Who are you?"

"Knight Sha Koon, niece of Master Plo Koon." Sha had a lyrical voice even through the antiox breathing mask she had worn during life. "How can you..." Jaina didn't know how these things worked. She had never seen one of the Force ghosts outside of the training hall. "Manifest?"

"Your light side energy has increased therefore we can appear around you and not be so easily sensed by dark siders."

Jaina still didn't quite understand, but she nodded anyway. "So it's true then, my strength in the light is growing." She was rarely secretive with the Jedi, however she refrained from speaking her mind with the Kel Dor Knight. "I don't mean to be rude or anything, but I'd like to be alone just now."

"I won't take up much of your solitude." Sha clapped her hands together, straightening. "It is...after all, the light in you that has brought about imbalance."

"Okay. You lost me."

"Your pain," Sha stepped closer. "Your unresolved feelings for Ben Solo are equal parts light and dark. By choosing to ignore the warning the Force has sent, you're steadily tipping the balance into chaos. The pain at his death, Jaina…search your feelings, you know I'm right. It will destroy you."

She stared into the Kel Dor's face, amazed the Force ghost had read her so well. "No, no, I'll be fine. I know my path and where it leads. You don't have to worry on that account."

"I saw you." Sha interrupted fervently. "In the seconds before Darth Vader killed me, I had a Force vision of the future." Just an outline… "I saw Vader's redemption and his children…and at the very end, I saw the person who would unite the fractured pieces of the old Order with the new. I wasn't sure. I was one of the outliers who didn't believe someone who went against everything we had known could be the future." The ghost dropped one hand to the legacy saber. "It was this weapon forged anew with a violet beam."

Wordlessly, she looked into the ghost's face.

"It was you. You wondered why we didn't appear to Luke to guide him…to help him restore the Jedi." Sha shook her head slightly.

"Yes, I…I did." She admitted somewhat guiltily.

"It's because Luke was wrong. He is part of it, but not yet. We knew it wasn't his vision of the Jedi that would restore the light." The Kel Dor Knight touched her shoulders, "to bring balance to the galaxy, you must keep the balance in yourself."

"Knight Koon." Jaina sounded nervous even to her own ears. "The old Order is gone. It died with Master Yoda when he passed into the Force during Luke's youth!" That was over thirty odd years ago. She remembered herself saying something similar to Obi-Wan. No Jedi. No Sith. Only the dark siders who claimed to be the Knights of Ren.

"No." Sha said quietly. "No. There are a few left."

 _They felt you._

"When the corrupted blade turned violet. That millisecond of light side strength caused a ripple effect across space. Master Yoda had a similar vision during his search for immortality through the light side. He had a vision of the Jedi Order and how it _could be_." Sha said in a whispered hurry. "He saw Ahsoka Tano with a group of youngling. The Force was at peace with itself and balanced by both halves. What Master Yoda saw was the future." The knight's grip tightened fleetingly. "She is among those still alive."

"Sha-" Jaina began tiredly.

"I believe you'll do the right thing." The Jedi Knight insisted and was gone.

...

 _How does one go about changing one's loyalties?_

The figure of the young man wore the full Imperial uniform of captain rank. His smooth square-jawed face held a slight familiarity to it, his black hair and minor scar slashing his brow were markedly distinctive. He smiled easily as evinced by the laugh lines framing his generous mouth. Windrider felt himself warm to the younger man almost instantly. It was familiar to say the least.

"I wanted to ask for one thing…before I commit further to the Imperial cause."

"What is that?"

Jade, the old man who had begun all this, had pulled a seat around for himself. The stool had walked with a gesture of his slightly curled gloved hand. He didn't offer a seat to anyone else, he merely sat there and watched the meeting as it unfolded.

"I need proof you can take the First Order down." He felt the need to explain himself after Rose shot him a quick look of disbelief. "I'm not operating on hope like you. As a ship's captain you know the lives of my men are on the line with my actions." He felt sick. A mix of nausea and terrible excitement clenched his stomach. Windrider was glad he had chosen to forgo lunch. The thought of anything passing his lips beyond vitamin-enhanced water made him queasy. "I'll do whatever it is you ask of me to restore the Empire. But, there's a price," Nash hesitated. Jagged Fel stared at his holo projection steadily. "Name it."

"I would ask for Armitage Hux's life - but, that is impossible at the moment." Nash said heatedly, thinking of Ciena. "Symbols, Captain Fel. You know what symbols are. I want the _Tarkin_ destroyed."

-TBC

AN: Have a Happy New Year, better than mine - _working_ , urgh.

Thanks for reading!

No flames

Please Review :-)


	8. Chapter 8

"Any luck?"

BB-9e responded with a negative beep. The droid had hacked into the _Absolution's_ communications network, filtering through recent data streams. Jaina kept an eye out for passing Stormtroopers who would undoubtedly question a blue-eyed droid attached to the wall panel circuitry.

"Anything?" She asked hopefully after a few minutes. BB-9e's head tilted back to look up at her. "Guess not."

The droid beeped; she frowned.

"The sword of Khashyun? Troops were unsuccessful in locating it in Black Spire Outpost?" She had never heard of the artifact, nor of the mission to retrieve it. _Whatever it was, sounded like a dark side artifact_...BB-9e reviewed separate streams, beeping quieter.

"Captain Ruthford, a veteran from Imperial forces, accompanied...," She trailed off. "Where he subdued the Benarthy. In other words, wholesale slaughter." Her expression hardened. "He's still following Darth Vader's footsteps."

BB-9e reached the end of the data stream and detached from the socket.

"When I think of the evil Darth Vader did in the name of the Emperor, I think I understand him a little less."

BB-9e bumped her knees when she didn't move, trilling.

"I can't. You can't save someone who won't stop themselves. It's not right." She shook her head as if to clear it. The pull was there - a tugging in the center of her chest. Jaina knew she was strong enough to resist it. _I'm not going to pretend to know the will of the Force_ , she thought, taking a turbolift down past the medbay. At the sight of her in the corridor, white-armored troops, young cadets with their helmets tucked beneath their arms, turned and quickly went the opposite direction. Paying them little mind, she reentered the room she had left only an hour or two before. Even the plate was still there, but she no longer felt like eating. Remembering her vision had made her feel vaguely sick.

 _Think hard about your choices_. The feeling had come to her strongly of Shaak Ti alluding to something else. _But, what?_

 _"It was for you."_

She blew air from her lips noisily. _Way to go, Anakin_. While she didn't disbelieve him entirely, she was positive the ghost wanted to save what was left of his bloodline from potential destruction. _Unless Luke suddenly had a baby with someone_. She grimaced thinking of that old man as a father. _He was too grouchy to handle children and much too self-centered to restore the Jedi Order_.

"Momin told me I wasn't like my ancestor." Jaina began pacing restlessly. "Maybe it's true. I can't save anyone and one day - one day…," she couldn't finish. Couldn't force herself to say those words. It was worse by far to think of killing him with her own hands.

She came face to face with a ghost she had never seen before.

 _This is happening way too much..._

Instinctively, Jaina knew who she was. Recognizing the flare of light across her senses that faded into nothing, she felt the shadow of jealousy rise up to fill the void. Rey looked as she had once in Jaina's vision. She was thin almost gaunt with the shadow of hunger expressed in her body and sharp bone structure. Semi-translucent, she wore a sleeveless tunic and woven tabards over short pants tucked into boots. She looked like the person who was meant to be a Jedi.

Jaina was conscious of the old black flight suit, the boxy gravity boots she had changed into. She stepped back from the expression on the ghost's face, disconcerted she could lose her confidence so easily.

"You're wasting time." Rey's voice had a slight hollow note to it.

"No, I'm doing what should be done." Jaina tried to inject confidence into her tone, walking away from her. "Right now, Kylo Ren is a threat to the Jedi Order. For its restoration, something must be done to curb his rise."

"When he and I touched hands," Rey started, following closely at her heels. "I saw his future. It was just a glimpse, but it was real. He will turn."

"I hate to be the one to break it to you, but it was Snoke who showed you both what you wanted to see."

"It couldn't have been everything." Rey protested. "Snoke bridged our minds, but he and I made it stronger."

Jaina loosely gripped her fists at her sides. _I…don't want to hear it_. For a day, the day they "connected," the girl had the one thing a pilot wanted so desperately - the pilot who was destined to blow up nameless in space. Her emotions seethed inside her. In a flash, she remembered what it was like to be that person again and she turned, roughly yanking her collar apart, exposing part of her shoulder and chest.

"See this?" The scar abraded her flesh. "Do you know he gave it to me hours before he kidnapped you on Takodana?" She couldn't stop her eyes from watering. Not when Rey didn't understand how torn up she felt inside. "He killed his father. He tried to murder his mother and uncle. He killed scores of others to prove his loyalty to Snoke." _I…_ "You don't really know who he is or what he's done." _I don't think I could ever forget his sins._ "But, that's just _it_. I love him. I love him more than you _ever_ could."

The ghost looked at her smeary face, her expression unrelentingly fierce. "Then, save him."

"For what!" Jaina shouted, her voice echoing and rebounding in the room. "To avenge the dead? To end the Skywalkers?" She was getting tired of being their pawn. _Save him. Don't save him. Let go. Don't let go. Couldn't they see it was tearing her apart?_

Rey appeared to her left, the edges of her form unclear, fading in and out. "You've failed him already by thinking his choice is made."

 _Choice?_ Jaina could've laughed bitterly. Kylo had a choice since the night he turned to the dark side. "Kylo gave you to his master. He already made his choice." Then, she made a mistake, she turned her back on the ghost and began walking toward the doors.

Rey manifested a saber, maybe the one she would've gone on to create if she had lived. The yellow-hued beam swept across the room. Surprised at the ghost's sudden antagonism, Jaina was slower to react. BB-9e trilled a warning as she leapt aside. "Angry much?" Jaina muttered, observing the ghost warily.

Most of the time, the ghosts appeared when she needed guidance or to continue her Form III training. She couldn't help but contrast Sha Koon's counsel with Rey's fury.

The scavenger corrected her stance and came at her with a barrage of strikes. Jaina evaded ungracefully, feeling her abdomen wrench painfully from her sudden twist. _I just got shot yesterday destroying a Sith holocron and now she challenges me- Maker, can't I catch a break?_ Annoyed, she ignited her light saber, countering with a wide slash.

Undeterred, the ghost increased her pace, letting her emotions fuel her attack. Jaina abandoned the idea of using Form II to fight her off. Forced to go on the defensive, Jaina was breathless by the time they crossed the room. She was reminded of Kylo's reckless fighting style. Wild, chaotic, fueled by his anger - the saber almost flew from her grasp. Switching her grip midair, she stared into the ghost's furious hazel eyes. The two blades crossed, each wielder holding their own ground.

"You're not even a Jedi." Rey glared contemptuously at the legacy saber she held.

"What did you say?" She had heard the words somewhere. An echo of them like a faint memory from someone else.

"You don't wield the weapon of one."

" _You weren't born to be a Jedi." – Momin from inside his dark prison had taunted._

She sensed it now, the simmering frustration and anger warped into loneliness that was so much a part of her life. _We're still so different_ , she marveled, _yet alike_. Rey was simply lashing out over the fact that someone could save Kylo from his fate – and wouldn't act on it. The hurt in the scavenger's expression took her back to her own desperation fighting the Praetorian Guards. She realized then that _Rey still cared about him_.

"You're right, but I don't need a weapon." Jaina powered the saber off. "To know when to do the right thing."

A curious mixture of shame and remorse crossed Rey's face. Jaina softened toward her instantly, thinking of how she'd feel if her life had been cut short after so much promise.

"Weapons, Rey, just make it easier." Jaina reached out and touched her shoulder. The scavenger's hostility drained completely away, the saber dissipated into yellow fragments of energy.

"Ben needs you."

"I know."

"You're going to need his help. There's a darkness out there that is beyond anything you can imagine. You have to stand strong with him to defeat it. Only the two of you-"

"No, it's not just us. The Force doesn't belong to me or him. But I can't keep doing things alone." She smiled at the ghost.

…

She couldn't say what it was that had awakened her. Behind a locked door, she sensed something beyond her own _Force_. It was Jaina, restless, awake, channeling the light side. She could always feel the difference. The atmosphere warmed, the oppressive cold blanketing her skin lessened until it was a whisper. Jaina had been steadily increasing in the light.

She could feel it - blink and miss it. Ignore it until had pierced her outer skin. Beside it, twined with it, the darkness seethed. The light made the woman no less strong in the dark side and sometimes the thought frightened her more than it should, considering Ren's power.

Following her senses, she dressed in the dark, pulling on her old clothing gritty with sand from the desert planet. She was glad she'd left off her usual accompaniment and wouldn't be bothered coming and going from the ship.

Jaina was in one of the training rooms.

Saskia almost thought she wasn't alone. The droid would be there, but the droid was a hole. It felt almost like two Force signatures were within. She stepped up pace, reaching the doors as anger surged within. She felt the bluntness of it, somewhat reassured. Ren likely sensed the same thing, how balanced the two could be within one person. Swiping her palm across the biometric scanner, the doors unsealed to the cavernous room. Jaina was alone with the droid, sweaty and perhaps agitated, but by herself.

"I need your help."

…

No one asked where their end destination lay. Lieutenant Jober Tanson piloted the Upsilon class shuttle, communicating through shared glances of unease with his copilot. The warping shades of light occasionally split off into fragmented bursts, sometimes the split divided the tunnel into a forking path. The former occasion sent the ship on its set course into a violent rocking spasm. Tanson held the shields steady. He had never heard of a hyper tunnel being damaged but could only assume something had occurred to the one they traveled through.

Coldness stole into the cockpit. The command shuttle's seating bay was immediately aft. A dark presence gathered at the back of their seats. Tanson swallowed nervously, sensing as a small, frightened creature will, a larger predator lurking nearby.

"How long until we get there?"

Where precisely is there, sir? He kept his polite, clipped tones to a minimum along with his queries. The destination was on a need to know basis, he couldn't be seen as frivolous or imaginative on the Supreme Leader's watch. "The exact time is unknown, but the coordinates indicate three parsecs."

"We're closer than that." Ren mused. And with that single enigmatic sentence, he returned to his seat, brooding over what lay ahead.

…

"Where exactly are we going?"

"Dromund Kaas." Jaina muttered, inputting coordinates into the console. BB-9e operated the second set of controls, preparing them for lightspeed. "I need you to stay aboard and keep the ship ready for take-off."

"Jaina, that place can't be found on any star map. It's been lost for an age. Are you sure about this?" Saskia had gone over and over in her head the reasons why taking off in her ship for some place of ancient evil wasn't on her immediate to do list. Sure it was fine for a training exercise, but to follow up on a Force vision...

"Darth Sidious knew where it was. Besides, if I wasn't sure of it, I wouldn't have asked you."

BB-9e trilled drawing a furrow across the knight's brow.

"Right," Jaina said appreciatively. "Even if you'd said no, it still wasn't going to stop me."

The flight tower patched in, clearing them for take off.

"And if something happened to you?"

"That's why you're coming along." Jaina said cheerfully, earning a reproving look. Saskia belted in as they pierced the shield, dropping below the underbelly of the Star Destroyer. TIE fighters on routine patrol flew by in formation. The old excitement of being in the cockpit again gripped her. Jaina viewed the expanse of dark space spackled with the light of distance star systems.

"So what do you expect to find there?"

"Fauna...failed experiments. It's been so long, but I'm certain their proximity to the nexus on the planet enabled them to survive for centuries." She couldn't name them from sight, those creatures she had seen slaughter the Stormtroopers in her vision.

"In other words, hostiles. Shouldn't we call for backup?"

"The other Knights?" Jaina frowned at her. "What if they tried to make a power grab?"

"I'm talking about First Order support troops. A battalion or two with us and we'd be unstoppable."

Jaina smiled at the mental image that surfaced. "I suppose so."

The ship jolted and leapt forward into a tunnel of stars. Saskia leaned back in her seat, crossing her arms over her chest as if she were cold. "I wouldn't ask them for help. If I was stuck in some situation -not that it would ever happen."

"Of course."

BB-9e's head swiveled a quarter to the left, observing the bare face of the woman. The Knight seemed less a monster than a being made of flesh.

"They wouldn't come anyway. In all these years, I've never felt like I could trust them in any capacity. They were too much like the others."

"The others?" Jaina echoed, turning in her seat, concerned.

"Luke encountered them on a mission to the Outer Rim. Ben was young then, and different."

The lingering note in Saskia's voice caused a strange reaction in her. "Sorry, I don't think I quite understand. I was told that you and Valkyn went with Kylo and became his Knights."

"Oh, no. That's only part of it. The Knights of Ren were already in existence before Ben Solo joined them."

…

"Magpie, welcome to the Gilad Pellaeon." Jag had set to work after the call with Windrider had ended, compiling everything they had in their database about the First Order ship and its commander. He had nearly finished putting his report together for presentation when the bridge had alerted him that a Starhopper was requesting permission to land. Jag had briefly entertained the thought that Luke was returning only to discover it was someone else entirely. The dark-skinned woman he addressed, entered cautiously, her brown eyes narrowed at his chipper greeting.

"I'd prefer Starling." Vi said tartly.

"My apologies, however you'd prefer address, you'll receive it. How is it coming aboard the Pellaeon?"

Vi didn't entirely trust the youngish man any more than she trusted a certain ex Stormtrooper Captain. "I was cleared for duty by Dr. Kalonia."

"Yet still, Major Kalonia had some remarks to say about your mental well-being. It's been a while since you've reported in. Princess Leia considered you her best operative for good reason. What can you tell me about Ryloth?"

Vi relaxed somewhat. Fel had put her on edge by talking of her mental state. She couldn't hide her apprehension docking the Starhopper in the bay assigned to her by the flight tower nor the vague, sick feeling in her stomach as officers passed her. Vi's reflection in the polished floor showed a discontented woman in a Resistance orange jacket and dark trousers. "Ryloth has been suffering under taxes levied on them by the First Order. Across the galaxy, once independent worlds are experiencing tyranny from the highest levels. I fear it's only going to get worse."

"Ryloth has always been sympathetic to the Rebellion."

"You said it yourself, Captain Fel. The Rebellion...not the Empire in exile."

He spread his hands out in a helpless gesture. "They see a Star Destroyer and think First Order. Image isn't something you can change overnight. Right now, the Rebellion and the Empire are one in the same."

"The spark can light itself with or without your aid." Vi said acerbically. "You haven't done anything to curb the rise of Kylo Ren. General Organa is still in enemy hands-"

"She's safe according to Master Skywalker. What would you suggest? That we charge in guns a'blazing and storm the flagship?"

Vi had gambled everything bringing her grievances to light. She hated the rampant suffering of occupied worlds even facing the tattered Imperial relics openly displayed around her. "A show of strength. The galaxy needs more than just famous names. They need concrete proof you'll keep your word."

He considered her words, reminded all too well of Radford's report on Crimson Dawn. "You mentioned Minfar in your communique."

"A First Order battalion landed there not long ago. They've begun subjugating the native people. I learned this from a distress call they sent out just before it got worse."

"It's a small planet located in Wild Space. What's their interest in such a backwater place?"

"The Echo Horn." _All or nothing_ , Vi thought. "They're after it to control the native Zixon."

"I see...that suggests their manpower is low to result in them using an external source for control. This could tie into their new cloning program. The Empire had the troops in the past to tamp down insurrection if the First Order is after the Horn then it means cracks are appearing in their Navy. Keep an eye on the situation in Ryloth. Any changes and you come straight to me."

Vi stepped forward, implicitly refusing to leave until she heard something that was more to her liking. It wasn't the Rebellion's style to let innocents suffer. "What about Minfar?"

For a moment, she thought Fel wasn't going to answer her. "I'll consult with Dameron."

"That's no promise I can believe." She shook her head, forcing a tart smile. "General Leia would've ordered us to help them immediately...whether or not we had the manpower."

For once that damnable Imperial reserve she had always seen, cracked. Fel looked haunted by memory. "I know." And in his voice, she heard defeat.

…

 _They weren't nearly as powerful as you are._

 _They fought dirty._

 _They believed in the Ren, following your own nature, killing anything that lay in your path._

 _They were lawless savages who served one master._

Jaina packed a small haversack carefully, thinking over what she'd learned. "They were rebelling against the teachings of the Jedi and Sith in other words."

"You could say that. It's one thing to be told you have a gift, another to be told how to use it. It should be your choice."

She stopped checking the filtration setting on the regulation issue canteen. "What would you have been if not for...all this?"

"If I'd stayed on Gatalenta? Oh, probably a sister in the orphanage. What I really wanted to do, was get away from there, now," Saskia paused in the doorway. "All I want is for us to go back."

Ignoring the wistful tone in her voice, Jaina wondered aloud, "I wonder what Kylo would've been if not for pursuing his greater destiny?" Saskia didn't miss the distinct ironic note.

"Maybe a smuggler like his father." The knight offered, smirking. "I'm going to check on nav. It's not like we have an ETA." Saskia disappeared down the companionway. Jaina looked down at BB-9e. "I guess there's a lot of things I still don't know about the galaxy."

The droid bumped her leg just a little bit.

"I do think she's right. You should have a choice, no one should make it for you." She went back to packing. "Hey, do you have the light foil? I might take it as backup."

A compartment opened up on the droid's side, pulling out assorted items. Jaina glanced down when her old comm unit rolled across the deck. "Oh, it's okay. I'll just-" she stopped, catching sight of something among the multitude of items the droid carried for her.

"What is... _that_?"

BB-9e's eye swiveled to the thing lying by her mother's silk blouse. The droid tried to explain about the training room and the plate of fruit.

"That's...what I thought." She couldn't take her eyes off the shriveled, blackened thing, splitting open to reveal the pulpy rotten mass at its core.

 _What have I...done?_

The floor beneath them shuddered. She stumbled sideways, catching herself on the low table. From the cockpit, Saskia called out the words she already knew.

"We've arrived!"

…

"I need to ask for your advice."

"Luke isn't giving problems, is he?" Jade observed the shadow on the younger man's face. Kaytuu had awakened him with a holocall after a long night's deliberation on the prison labor camp down below on Corellia's surface. Rose had filled in what she knew about Crimson Dawn and the shutdown of their operations. Extraction of some of those high level prisoners from First Order hands came secondary to his initial goals. Still it might sway Luke into action.

"No, no. I received word from one of our spies of a planetary distress call from Wild Space. The First Order are after a device to control the native population and... I was pressured to do something about it."

"Oh, the old bleeding heart sympathetic to aliens in need? I've heard it again and again over the years. But, this time, you want to do something about it." He perceived the Force around Fel, stronger than most, influencing his actions. The young man wasn't aware of it around him. Completely ignorant of the living Force's will, he saw it as a moral compass guiding him.

"You've always been able to know what I'm thinking."

"I know without using the Force, that it's the right thing to do. That's how you feel."

"She shamed me." He admitted guiltily. "The Rebellion wasn't afraid to challenge Palpatine's Empire. My father told me so and now I can't help but feel afraid to move openly against the First Order. One ship, but two, especially when it's a long term operation on Minfar?"

"You can do it. I...I had my reservations about the Tarkin."

"Why?"

Loress couldn't fully look him in the eye. "I knew somebody who was stationed there."

"If it was long ago-"

"It's been years," he hesitated, but he knew Windrider's mind more than the Captain thought. "It's one more. Just one more life lost. I know Luke doesn't think of it like that, but he created a tear in the Force when he destroyed the DeathStar and again when the second DeathStar was blown up. I've been dreaming of it when I sleep. The wreckage of it lies in the seas of Kef Bir." He roused himself from reverie. "I'll support you on Minfar."

"Thank you, you've put my mind at ease. And the _Tarkin_?"

The old man wanted to say he didn't hesitate, didn't care. A much younger Gaius Duma resurfaced in his mind, promising that no one would ever find out the truth of her identity. The fact remained he knew about the Imperial Remnant…and had always known. Duma was just another loose end to be reduced to dust and ash in the vacuum of space. "Destroy it."

…

The planet loomed before them, dominating the narrow viewports of the Starfall. Jaina stared at it, at the swirling chaotic storms at its pole, at the magnitude of evil she felt emanating from it. The knight kept them out of range of the planet's gravity. An unnatural hush fell over them, broken only by her quiet exclamation.

"It's something."

"Valkorion established Kaas city as his seat of power to restore the shattered Sith Empire." Jaina whispered, at turns awed and disgusted with the cold malaise crawling over her skin. "Can you take us down?"

"Can you sense him?" Saskia asked instead, shooting her a look. "I can't...well, not exactly. There's too much interference."

Jaina slid into the copilot's seat to avoid answering. BB-9e rolled closer to see. She had been afraid all that time they would arrive too late to do anything. Sometimes trying to change the future resulted in it coming true. The moment she sensed him below, the tension drained from her body.

"He's there."

"I'm taking us in. But you're going to have to tell me where to go."

…

He thought of something Han Solo used to say whenever things went wrong.

 _"I have a bad feeling about this."_

It was somehow apt now, he thought as FN-5653 met his end with a choked off scream. Blood gushed in torrents through the broken seams in the white armor. The subordinates quickly formed a triangle around him. Shouting punctuated by blaster fire made forging on a nigh impossibility. There were five or more of these - things. His mind leapt from images of Rancors held captive on exotic worlds to a legend he remembered the whisper of.

Terentatek.

Produced by ancient Sith alchemy, the creatures stalked forward, their stride bipedal. In their tiny black eyes Kylo saw a spark of malicious intelligence. Thick overlong arms capped by four curved claws longer than his hand. The blaster shots bounced harmlessly off their toughened hides. FN-7284 followed, his head crushed between the clapped leathery palms of the beast. Kylo stared at the gore dripping to the ground, his blade sputtering and growling in his hand. The creature had taken two gigantic ground -shaking steps forward and snatched the Stormtrooper's skull -

He felt sweat drip down his face.

On the planet of the Benarthy, he had declared nothing was _unbreakable_. These were no gods of heathen people, but ancient monsters, killers of Force sensitives –

"Retreat."

The free hand he had put out, felt so much more useless. The Force surrounded his fingertips, pulsed beneath his glove, but did nothing. The beasts were impervious to the Force.

"Retreat!" He shouted, voice rising to shrill nasally levels and spun on heel. The remaining three didn't hesitate. Their training compelled them to hearken to a superior's order - die to let him escape. Another whose designation escaped him, was snatched up. The man's cries soon choked off into a bloody gurgle. For seconds, he heard the thumping of his heart, crashing through the undergrowth, his clothing yanked and pulled as if to hold him back. Kylo felt his own fear tart in his mouth - a sour aftertaste of bile. Men shouldn't die like that. Hardly a whimper or a moment to fight back.

He was afraid to die.

Overwhelmingly, he became aware of their pursuers, honing in on them. Like a tracking radar sensing their position, he sensed them move collectively, a thunderous - he identified a heartbeat later as a roar, deafened him. It came from his left. Kylo swerved, ducking simultaneously. He stumbled mid-motion, sent skating across the verdant ground. He gritted his teeth, feeling the abrasion set his skin afire. Kylo righted himself, kneeling, breathing hard.

"Supreme Leader!" The rest had stopped to provide cover for him.

I can't do anything for them.

Stormtroopers were numerous, faceless. For nearly ten years of his life, they had been a constant reminder of the side he had chosen. He hadn't felt them. Not as an individual. They were a collective. That was before. He felt it. In sickening waves, their fear, their pain tore into him, breaking down his defences. Kylo exhaled harshly, rooted in place. His mind numb from the shock of chaotic slaughter painted red in the forest glade - understood it was empathy. He had let someone in - not since Rey - and it weakened him.

Their distorted mechanical sounding voices raised in fright cut off into screams. Trembling from the exertion of holding himself together, Kylo sprang to his feet and sprinted off. He wasn't far now from the shuttle. Skirting the rim of treacherous boulders, Kylo glimpsed the sharp obsidian shuttle wings through a break in the clustered forest top. A sob of relief crawled up his throat. But he forced it down. He wasn't beaten. He was coming back...with reinforcements. He had been foolish to think the Sith planet would give up its secrets easily. Kylo urged his body to move faster. With a sizable force, he could oversee the take down of the rancor-like creatures, perhaps even study them to see if their evolution was from the Rancor or manipulated somehow by the dark side...his planning was interrupted by the sound of the turbines rising. He knew the sound it made when it ascended from the atmosphere - refusing to believe his eyes.

…

Jober Tanson was a coward. Everything by the coda. He had torn open the packaging on a protein bar when the first shots echoed from the distance. He looked up startled, peering through the viewport. Limitless trees interspersed by glimpses of pools obscured by sickly looking reeds. Somewhere far, a pitched battle was going on. Tanson's hand had begun to shake. He pulled his regulation issue blaster free of its holster, moving out from the cockpit toward the hatch. His hand hovered over the depression button, then he slowly lifted his hand away.

The scope offered a view that was confirmed by the radar scan. There were multiple targets converging on his location in pursuit of one. One. One person. Tanson wasn't stupid enough to think the singular survivor was one of his own. It would be his superior, the enigma that was Kylo Ren. The Force user whose continued existence harried General Hux.

He wondered why Ren was running away.

Then, he saw it - rather them. Taller than Ren's impressive human stature, the beasts reminded him of a nightmare he'd had as a small boy. Gargantuan, horned, overlong arms ended in claw-like paws. He saw them tear through the forest in pursuit of Ren, the sole survivor. Ren kept abreast of them barely, decorum forgotten. He ran with his lightsaber held behind, igniting a blazing trail of crimson.

Tanson looked dumbly at his blaster.

He was only going to make it if Tanson lowered the ramp now and was ready to slam it shut. Somebody needed to engage the autopilot to gain altitude to get a sufficient distance from those...things. Critically, he examined the steps it would take to save his superior's life. He did not think it would lead to a promotion, or recommendation higher than his current position unlike General Hux who observed who was loyal and who wasn't. Tanson, while also loyal was a pragmatist who realized that in attempting to extricate his superior, he exposed himself to unnecessary danger.

The First Order wasn't known for its selflessness.

Tanson swallowed - voluntary treason was one thing, confirming Ren's demise would serve General Hux. One more glance affirmed his suspicions: Ren wouldn't make it to the shuttle ahead of the creatures.

…

"This is among the…stupider things I've done."

The Starfall had breached the upper atmosphere, descending down the leaden clouds. Instruments on the dash had gone haywire, threatening their general course. Jaina had taken over the controls, tapering off their descent while Saskia had taken it all in, whistling softly under her breath.

"It's almost impossible to believe this place was once inhabited."

Seeing the wild undergrowth and vast stretches of thickly canopied trees, Jaina silently agreed. The planet was otherworldly, a place of untapped dark energy waiting to be unleashed. "I see something!" she leaned forward, nosing the craft over marshy swampland. In the distance, the sharp raptor-like wings of a command shuttle lifted up, engaging for flight. "Looks like we missed the party," Saskia commented, relieved.

"No." For the first time in her life, she heard fear in her own voice. "They've left him behind. He's still down there."

…

The ship was gone.

Kylo was gripped by a fleeting sense of horror. Gut-wrenching like a knife to the stomach, the visceral sensation of being physically abandoned caused a forgotten image to surface. In those first few moments when he had skated to a stop, his eyes darting around wildly, he remembered another time when he'd been trapped on an unknown planet full of hostiles. _No matter._

This was just another moment in his life when someone was betraying him. Grimly, he turned, allowing his emotions to fuel his strength. He saw them closing the distance, readying his own stance. This wasn't the first time the odds had been stacked against him.

"Come at me!" He screeched, refusing to acknowledge the shaking of his hand. The next few minutes were a blur to him as he evaded and deflected hits from their claws. Keeping up his frenetic pace was suicide, he well knew as nothing seemed to effect them. Struck across the back suddenly, he crashed into undergrowth. Ripped from his hand, the crossblade arced through the air, sizzling where it landed several feet away. Kylo instantly propelled himself up, his scalp burning and face burning from collision with the ground. He spat, tasting blood and dirt on his tongue. He looked up as the shadow of the beast blocked out the landscape of murky twilight.

 _...is this how it ends?_

A red blade cut down between them. The winged hilt dug deep into the armor-like plating of the beast. Crimson came in spurts as she drove it down to the ground - the blade vibrated in her hand. Jaina force-leapt from the back of the creature, her body pivoting gracefully through the air. She landed beside him, hand offered in a gesture of peace. Kylo grabbed her hand without hesitation, rising to his feet.

They needed no words.

Kylo nodded slightly, summoning his light saber.

It didn't matter what had happened before or what happened afterward. In this moment, they fought together, side by side. The Terentateks were thrown off by the newcomer. They sniffed the air and roared to one another, pacing in a tighter ring. Jaina's feet shifted, sliding farther apart into a sudden Force-run. Kylo moved along with her, sensing her motion through the Force before she had acted upon it.

The blade flashed - each blow imbued by the Force, strengthened. She used a combination of Shii Cho and Soresu, her grip switching to the one-handed Makashi. A few times she jumped up, her blade crashing down in Sith-like splitting movements. She fought wildly, her dark side energy made the air sizzle, painful static charges spattered against his face. The mental feedback he received from her was incredible. Tightly woven threads of concentration stretched between them, filaments of her strength enhanced his own fight.

Battle meditation, she was a natural at it.

They were coming from all sides, the vicious maulers of Jedi. But, there was a difference, they were slower or - he moved faster. Maybe it was both. He wasn't sure, eyes narrowing at the lumbering advance. Jaina gored another through the arm, kicking off the rigid platelets. The saber sparked as she braced it against the throat, burying the hot plasma deep.

She was good.

No, she was a nexus of controlled emotion and power. He had never seen her cut loose in a fight to the death. She moved like a dark god, her footwork perfect. Each step matched her swings, the angle and turn of her body - and above it all, the part of her mind he couldn't touch, radiated a grim satisfaction over the slaughter. It was almost beneath her. That arrogance bled through as she dispatched a triad of shyracks. Haughtily, the blade cut the air in a strong x-shaped curve. Jaina had ripped them from the sky, slaughtering them in a shower of red. The lurid crimson glow of the saber caught the flare of golden yellow flicker through blue.

Sith eyes.

Kylo sent her a concerned glance. Her eyes - her mouth twisted into a sneer. Excitement spiked around her. She had sensed something - felt a quaver on the wavelength of the Force. She started forward, her body tense like a spring.

"Ionone."

She hesitated, her saber held aloft in a familiar Soresu opening stance but her battle aura was anything but calm.

"Jaina." He said forcefully. Her shoulders flinched and she turned after a moment, thumbing the switch. He searched her face, subtly relieved the golden hue was gone. She looked confusedly around them. "I didn't think they would be so easy to dispatch."

"They weren't." He sensed the change in her. She wasn't the same person from minutes before. The dark side must've been affecting her. With that thought in mind, he gestured in the general direction the city lay. "Where's your ship?"

"The storm was brewing when we entered the atmosphere. I had Saskia pull out of range." As if on cue, the roll of thunder pealed dangerously close by. He felt it vibrate down to his bones. "We'll take cover, wait out the storm."

Jaina nodded absently, "they last for days sometimes. The rain is fierce and floods happen in the lower valleys."

"How did you know?"

Jaina's brow furrowed. He could've been asking the answer to something she didn't understand either. "I...I was watching." She gestured with the hilt to the copse of untouched trees. "The saber won't cut through their armor plating. I saw you try." He sized her up, measuring for truth.

"No.."

She had the sense he was probing her for a lie.

"This is something else. How did you know where I was?"

Lucky guess? She bit her lip, afraid to admit something she wasn't sure of herself. "We should get under cover." Once she wasn't in constant motion, she realized how cold the air was. Thick dark clouds rolled in over the horizon, smearing the wan light of the star. She imagined flooding, lightning splitting trees and wanted to be back on a Star Destroyer.

"I could feel you in the Force."

…

It felt…like the old days. Luke hesitated to think of Han knocking back shots, or the face that haunted his dreams of late, calling for a round of firewhiskey for them. For him and her. His mind filled in the details, a slim hand, a slight smile - she was always smiling. Curls of auburn hair sometimes blue-black dusting her shoulders, green eyes - brown eyes. She was a master of disguises, the dancer from the Imperial palace. Beautiful in a way that made his foolish young-self forget radiant princess Leia and responsibility.

The interior of the cantina was smoky, the atmosphere thick with greed. Villainy thrived on backwater planets. A few bystanders who weren't easily believed spoke of a blue wave that cut the storm, passing over the desert. It was just another tall tale swapped by travelers. Blue waves? The impossible, he grunted, keeping one eye fixed on the little Rodian cheating at the Sabacc table. A stocky older man dressed in a long overcoat, carrying a rucksack had paused briefly to watch. Luke sensed it was more out of interest in hearing the Rodian's tale.

Luke slipped his flesh hand into his pocket, paying his tab.

The other moved away, meeting no one's eye. Dark hair threaded with silver, eyes that had retained their usual sardonic flash glanced - surveying the bar. By then, Luke had disappeared between a gap of quarreling Abedno traders.

In the alleyway redolent with the smell of cheap liquor and old piss, the stranger walked quickly as if in pursuit. Luke stepped out from a gap between buildings, his hand tight around a standard issue blaster.

"Your reputation precedes you, Master Skywalker."

Luke nodded slightly, reaching up to tug the cloth from around the lower half of his face. He tasted the sand on his tongue, the dry bitterness of a sand scorched mud ball. "Thanks, but I'd be much obliged if you and yours left now." The red astromech that had been trailing him since the desert, appeared like some kind of alternate R2-D2. Luke knew of them by rumor, ex members of Whiplash, a precursor to the Rebellion. The pair along with a corrupt ISB agent and a Sullustan reporter used to operate from Coruscant's seedy underworld.

Jax Pavan dropped his hand from the hidden saber hilt. "I was wondering about your connection to the girl who calmed a storm." He smiled sardonically. "She destroyed an artifact I was interested in."

"You were watching?"

"I saw enough. Old habits die hard. I don't trust a Sith blade."

Luke could respect that. "Neither do I. Once that saber was pure and protected the Jedi Order through dark times."

"And now?"

He looked at the former Jedi Knight warily. "It's for her to decide."

"Is it? You should stay away from her, Skywalker. That girl is full of darkness."

…

 _It's a small price._

"The Tarkin's an old ship." Jag watched the holograph select one Star Destroyer out of the immense First Order armada. The familiar shape of the Victory II class ship maximized above the table. Poe leaned forward, his shirtsleeves pulled back over his tanned forearms.

"Logistically, we're talking about fifteen TIE fighters tops. The _Tarkin_ recently lost half its elite TIE Wing on the planet Waskiro. The whole operation is blow it up and get out."

"Who's the captain?" Finn asked, seated across from Poe. He wondered if he could place a face to the name.

"Commander Gaius Duma." Jag replied crisply, switching the view to include a smaller image of a stern older man. His dossier displayed on their datapads. "A veteran of the Battle of Jakku, graduated from the Royal Imperial Academy and according to our sources, loyal to the leadership of the First Order. In other words, he would be a prime candidate for assassination had he ranked higher."

Poe nodded slightly. "So you estimate him to be…what?"

"Competent, but ultimately a nobody. Someone no one is going to miss. Grand Moff Taliesan has given his approval for preemptive military action. With Admiral Daala's support on stand-by, I think it's safe to say we have a clear shot at this."

Poe swiped through the schematics on the datapad. The layout was familiar from the plans he had looked through. Jag took his silence as agreement before continuing the rest of his report. "There is also Minfar. We received a distress call from the planet not long ago. It seems the First Order is attempting to subjugate the native inhabitants."

"What? That's terrible…but how can we be sure it's not a ploy meant to lure out rebels?" Finn pointed out as the hologram changed to a rough representation of the galaxy beyond the Outer Rim.

"We wouldn't know it's a trap until we actually took the bait."

Poe looked up from the datapad. "Two operations? I must say, I like where this is heading. I think it's time to take the Clawcraft out for a bombing run." Finn caught his eye and grinned. Jag didn't miss their eager exchange.

"No, I'd rather Finn leave for Kobol. Our obligation to Crimson Dawn comes first. If you'd prefer," he said soothingly to the ex Stormtrooper's disappointment. "I can recall Ms. Tico to accompany you. Or anyone else?"

Finn nodded slightly. "Thanks, I'd like that."

"You'll get your chance, buddy." Poe clapped him affectionately on the shoulder. "I'm fine with handling both missions."

After the debriefing, Finn and Poe returned to the flight deck. They had been warned of open conversation until a final clearing of Fel's plan. Poe couldn't shake the slight ill feeling in his stomach. Noticing his reticence, Finn grew concerned. "Something bothering you about the meeting?" He dropped his tone below conversational levels.

"I don't know…I'm not against seeing action." They slowed to a stop beneath the shadow of mounted Clawcraft. "To tell the truth, I'm not sure what it is…a feeling…or maybe an instinct that we shouldn't do it."

"It's the First Order. We're striking back at them in a small way." Finn said more confidently than he felt. "This guy…Duma, I mean, I don't think I've ever been on his ship. I can think of a handful of others like Peavey or Yago that deserve worse." He crossed his arms over the jumpsuit he had taken to wearing while working on the fighters. "Not to mention Amaral! That guy's nuts!"

"Connix is on his Dreadnought." Poe mused, "I didn't like it when our people started volunteering for spy missions. She's as good as dead if she gets caught."

"Hey, I know you feel responsible for the Resistance in General Leia's place." He clapped him on the shoulder. "But, you're not alone in this. We're all in the fight together. Stopping the First Order's bloodshed is our priority." Finn didn't add he wasn't enthused with Nash Windrider, Imperial turned First Order captain, switching to their side. Although, the Interceptor had never been his berth, he simply didn't trust anyone who had been allied with the First Order. What he refused to admit even to himself was how galling it was that Rose had stayed by Windrider's side. Had she forgotten about him and their adventures together…

"I hope you're right." Poe muttered uneasily.

…

Jaina picked gravel from his scalp.

Kylo held still as she dropped the bloodied pebbles to the ground. "Close your eyes." She ordered quietly, trickling water on the wound to wash it clean. The edges stung, but soon felt better. The water was cold, fresh smelling and her hands were gentle, running through his black hair. Kylo kept his eyes closed, his breaths slowing to a relaxed inhalation. Jaina's fingertips massaged his scalp, her force signature radiated soothingly against his body.

The touch of her hands erased the tension beneath his skin.

In his earliest memories, he could see Leia pressing his clothing into neat piles, combing the tangles from his hair. He remembered bath time and escaping from Elsie. There was such carefree happiness burbling up inside him back then. Sitters. Uncle Luke's wife. He was five and she was ageless. She was beautiful and kind. His five-year-old mind equated her with the tales of angels that space pirates spoke of.

 _What was it…what did he call her?_

His child-self eluded him, the memory as faint as smoke.

"Don't go to sleep."

It was difficult to maintain wakefulness. Her presence was comforting. Kylo felt her apply Force healing, sealing the wound until the sting had nearly vanished entirely. Their knees brushed as he turned to look at her.

"We'll get to a high spot. Get off this planet." Jaina had relayed her plan as best as possible to the _Starfall_ somewhere above the planet. He would never say so, but the fact alone that she had convinced Saskia to help her, spoke volumes for the depths of her influence.

"No," he was close. A day or two away. He thought of the blood in the forest. The dried splotches on his boots, clothing. The day exacted a toll on his sense of pride as a dark warrior. The massacre should never have happened. He shouldn't have let it happen.

Jaina sank down to a crouch, her gaze searching his face. "What do you have in mind?"

"I'm looking for the temple of the prophet."

"Millennial." She stated, but her lips curved into a frown. "His belief in the dark side was so strong that he created a nexus within the temple." A slight shiver trembled through her body from head to toe. "Can't you feel it?"

"I saw ruins when we flew in. I imagine there must be several areas of concentrated dark side energy." Kylo said carefully. Yes, he felt it. The great maw that hungered and threatened to swallow up everything his boy self loved. Consciously, he pulled back from it, noting with interest how it affected her.

Jaina almost smiled reassuringly. "Would you like to eat?"

Kylo shrugged noncommittally. Consuming nutrients could be held off until absolutely necessary. The dark side sustained him and would sustain her if she allowed it. Disappointed, he sensed her energies had nearly stabilized, no longer unequal to one another. "You should, or you'll weaken faster."

"I'm not really hungry."

She repacked the bag, folding her arms over her chest. Kylo glimpsed the reddened abrasions on her arms where her flight suit had torn. The skin was broken and swelling yet she gave little notice of it. Typical, he reached for her wrist without thought. His gloved fingertips had barely brushed over the back of her folded hand when she jerked, pulling away.

"I'm fine." She mumbled.

"It doesn't look fine." Far from it. "If infection is fine to you, then leave it."

"That mouth of yours-"

"-knows best."

"Maker!" She hissed. "You think you know everything."

For the first time in their relationship, he felt the mature one. Rather than draw from the depths of sarcasm, he headed her off by firmly pulling her close. Jaina stumbled from her stiff-legged posture, looking like she wanted nothing better than to bite his head off. "I'm perfectly capable of healing myself."

"I am aware. However, there's always something I can do." He continued, applying soothing green tinted light into the cut. "Taking care of blaster burns is different than sealing a wound. You need more practice." He never promised it wouldn't hurt.

Reluctantly, she sank down to the ground, her hands resting on the tops of his thighs. The position had become a strangely intimate one. After a brief interlude of quiet, Jaina looked at him. "Why did they leave you behind?"

"The pilot was a coward. He stank of fear. His time of punishment will come soon enough."

She understood how a common officer from the armada might feel afraid entering an unknown planet. Despite their lack of Force sensitivity, she assumed even Stormtroopers wouldn't be immune to the pervasive evil surrounding them. Although she could feel it herself, it didn't disturb her as much as she thought it would. "Not everyone has the presence of mind to stand being down here for long. As serious as running away is, I don't think the charge deserves death."

He held her wrists gentler than before, his gloved hands sliding over her palms down to the tips of her fingers. "What does it deserve?"

"The brig," Jaina suggested, realizing the touch of his hands could still send her heart racing. "Some threat with leniency and you could still produce a loyal officer." Kylo released her hands and she tried to hide her disappointment.

"I would be seen as weak for not punishing the slightest infraction." He rose to his feet, glancing around. Jaina inhaled the scent of rain and heard the dim roil of thunder in the canyons to the south. "Maybe to General Hux, but there are some who would appreciate a lessening to the laws." Jaina had begun to formulate a better opinion on Captain Farady. She wanted to say more, but knew it wasn't wise to push it. "We should continue on and find shelter."

…

Ever since Jaina's last garbled message had reached them, BB-9e had been poor spirits. Leaving the knight behind in the cockpit, the droid had rolled sadly into the lounge. It was nearly impossible with the Knight's flying skills to risk a landing for the pair trapped below. BB-9e suspected Ren was to blame. All the evidence pointed to his searching out dark side artifacts, likely on the planet's surface, he expected to find a treasure trove of them.

And now Jaina was down there with him without her loyal droid to electrocute Ren if he tried anything.

But maybe some good could come out of it. BB-9e had never been inside the Starfall. Rotating slowly, quietly through the rooms comfortably outfitted for longer missions, BB-9e began looking for anything that might help Jaina. Being so small was convenient for the most part except for opening doors.

BB-9e inserted a probe into the wall panel, rotating it like a screwdriver until the panel popped off. Although she'd never said so explicitly, it was of interest to her where the knight went on missions.

The first data stream that came in concerned a transmission. The knight had been gathering intel concerning a pilot from the Rebellion. Accompanying the file was a dossier on Wedge Antilles. BB-9e copied the relevant information, probing further on the nature of her mission. _It seemed one of the Knight's contacts had information on a visit by Temmin Wexley, a suspected Resistance operative, his wife Karé Kun and a third person who matched the visual description of Jagged Fel. Wexley was Antilles' stepson by marriage to Norra Wexley; Fel was his nephew. The visit took place on Akiva where Antilles had retired to run a farm._ BB-9e returned to the red flag placed on the third person - _Fel was said to have died on the planet Niruan during a First Order-led attack. But, he was seen on Akiva and the description accompanied a piece of security footage from the spaceport..._

 _The Kendoh Gang was interested in whether or not there was an existing bounty on Fel's head...,_

 _Niruan...the planet where the First Order decimated the last Imperial Outpost, where Jaina's grandfather had holed up with other like-minded Imperials. If Fel survived, then the odds were equally favorable for a Force user of his skill to live also._ Jaina would be interested in knowing about it.

The lights powered down, briefly disorienting BB-9e's processors. Adjusting light filters, the droid decided to probe no further. The knight might decide to take it apart for fun if she spotted the surge in power usage coming from the back of the ship.

\- TBC

AN: thanks for reading, please review. Off to watch SW The Rise of Skywalker...


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